FabSwingers.com forum: Back as a single and rather confused.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Apologies if this is a bit of a long one.

Sooo, I've been an active member of the scene for nearly 4 years now. I adore my friends I've met and I love or used to love meets. When I was in a relationship and we had various meets no matter how attractive/hilarious I found the people we met I wasn't fully committed to it if I am completely honest with myself. We have decided to go back to being friends (on great terms) so I am back being a single.

I'm just unsure whether I am as into it as I used to be. I used to go out to a club at least twice a week and now I don't even want to go twice a month. I'm not fussed on private meets. I'm not sure whether I am going through a stale patch or I'm calling it a day. Has anyone else been through this?

Pixi. X

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Maybe just a bit depressed after finding yourself single?

It's not easy. You'll get through it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologies if this is a bit of a long one.

Pixi. X

"
you will be fine take things slowly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a new chapter in your life so it may take time to completely decide what you want to do.

Go easy on yourself until you find your feet!

Just be a social butterfly on here until things feel right.

Only you know what you want to get out of this & being on here doesn't mean you have to meet others xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's not giving you happy times don't do it for a while, it'll still be here if you miss it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it's not giving you happy times don't do it for a while, it'll still be here if you miss it

What they said. If you force yourself to do it when you're not enjoying it, you'll associate that feeling with swinging long-term. Do what you enjoy, what excites you. There's no obligation to meet here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not that long so don't apologise lol

Yes I've been there and more than once and you're only 25, life is still all in front of you, wait til you get past 40! You do things just in case you aren't around to tomoro

Lovely photos too, just chill and drink lots, you'll soon find what it is that's in your heart

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Its why we take breaks so it doesnt become stale. If your feeling a bit meh about it, take a few weeks away.

Sending you hugs

Boo x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

As above - take a break and do something else. For all those who say this is a 'lifestyle' it is what it is and what you make it. Come back when you feel like it - there's no right or wrong decision - it's what's best for you at this time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what feels right for you. I've found it very different being here as a singleton since January after splitting from my long term partner. Don't rush into anything. As a female, even if you delete your profile you wouldn't struggle when you returned.

Clubs are really different when you're single too. Do you have girlfriends you can go with , just to socialise? That's what I tend to do and just treat it as a night out, not with an intent to play there. It's still early days so give yourself some time.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

These things go in cycles, I haven't been to a club in a couple of months or so now, just haven't been in the mood really

I think sometimes an absence can do good and then when you do go again it'll have that ' new' feeling rather than just the same old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say the one thing to be sure of, is that things change. I'd assume you like it here because you've stayed as for clubs etc. You'll go when you want to. It's the great thing about this world for me. You do what you want to do, and no one has a right to judge you for it

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You are possibly going though a period of adjustment with your new circumstances. This will be a time of some uncertainty for you as you readjust, reestablish your life, find out what it is that you want. Relax, go with the flow and don't beat yourself up about any dilemmas that you have or questions that you can't answer at the moment. Its all temporary and will settle down and you will soon find your feet. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologies if this is a bit of a long one.

Pixi. X

Why are you here then?

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By *iss InnocenceWoman
over a year ago

Coventry/Bristol

Am going through the same, not played as a single lady for a year,after being part of a couple on here, and slowly getting back into it all now,taking little steps,and knowing exactly what I want out of this now.

After having a break, just take it at your own pace xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really get why people agonise over this and over think it. If you aren't into it then leave it. Take a break. Enjoy life. If it feels right then do it. Does it really matter whether it's a stale patch or whether it's not for you anymore? Focus on now and what's right for now. Don't worry about what may be and the long term.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I go to a club every couple of weeks it actually means I enjoy it more

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I found going from being a couple to a single very strange. People treat you very differently as a single woman on here, and not in a positive way.

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By *rbane PlayerMan
over a year ago

London

"Apologies if this is a bit of a long one.

Pixi. X

Don't worry about whether you are into playing or not-just do what feels right for you (whether you play or not). I think many of us go through what you are experiencing from time to time.

It could be that you are searching for a new way of swinging that works for you as you are now. There are some really good swinger podcasts like 'We gotta thing', 'swinger diaries' and 'swinging down under' that talk about the complexities of playing, and you may find them useful to listen to.

I am sure it will all work out for you.

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