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"Accept it, that every single guy would prefer to leave you husband out of the equation altogether, hubby is just not wanted by the guy in the play situation" That is simply not true - not all single men are after one-on-one, some genuinely love a threesome. And a subset of those love a straight mfm because they love to tag team the woman. My advice to you OP is, identify these men who want to cooperate and fuck alongside your husband. If they can't even include him in their fantasy they don't have the capacity or desire to share, and it's a good thing you recognised it so easily cos it'll help you negotiate the specific dynamic you want. Avoid bulls, and avoid exhibitionists who may derive their pleasure from being watched by your partner. There are lots of lovely hot guys to pick from so make your desires clear and if someone is not compatible give them a miss. Good luck in your search! | |||
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" Go for well verified guys. Read the feedback and watch for the right pattern. I know that's pretty rich coming from me, but some guys haven't given up! I am also on here with my wife so i speak with a bit of experience." | |||
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"We agree with what has been said here already. If it's not 'clicking' for you then walk away. You will find what you want, just be patient. We have had some great and some not so great meets, we have learnt be patient and go with your gut. " Same for us, a few guys get it right and we all have fun - for the one's that don't we just play on our own - it tends to be why we go to clubs, to avoid the less subtle ones! | |||
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"I know you looking for couples answers but as a single guy with a fwb etc. Who I go to clubs with and have experienced a few threesomes inc dvp with. I would seriously urge you to leave that sort of guy alone. Go to a club and experience different single guys before taking it further. You will find plenty of nice chaps who interact with both of you which should be expected. " | |||
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"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice. What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes? We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us. " No it's not normal, you are meeting the wrong kind of single guys. There are far better ones who understand the dynamic better. | |||
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"Yes unfortunately it is normal. Just use it as a filter, if they ignore and/or disrespect your husband in messages then there is a good chance they will do the same in person. Just a bit of advice - don't go down the dirty talk path, those guys rarely turn up. They have already wanked themselves into exhaustion just thinking about what they would like to do to you. Keep it clean, if he doesn't go silent on you when he realises you have no plans to give him any wank fodder then I would go forward and think about taking things further." Agreed | |||
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"I guess a lot of people get into swinging because they think they'll get laid. Not because they have the mindset of a swinger." Single people that is. | |||
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"Yes unfortunately it is normal. Just use it as a filter, if they ignore and/or disrespect your husband in messages then there is a good chance they will do the same in person. Just a bit of advice - don't go down the dirty talk path, those guys rarely turn up. They have already wanked themselves into exhaustion just thinking about what they would like to do to you. Keep it clean, if he doesn't go silent on you when he realises you have no plans to give him any wank fodder then I would go forward and think about taking things further." Yeah I know I've been wank fodder,but unfortunately too late and a bit too naive. But learning fast. . | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you." Nope infact most have been bi-curious or bi. | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you." That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings." | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings." What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? " Really!!! You need to ask that? | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that?" Yes, Enlighten me | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me" Something that comes with experience, known as respect.....good luck | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me" The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom" The respect and knowing ones place in the proceedings goes both ways. Single men get a bad press on here but (and I'm not referring to anyone in this thread) they are often treated as accessories to a couple's sex life and as if they should be grateful. | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom The respect and knowing ones place in the proceedings goes both ways. Single men get a bad press on here but (and I'm not referring to anyone in this thread) they are often treated as accessories to a couple's sex life and as if they should be grateful." | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom" Read my earlier post, I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means, It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where, Well that's how I read it anyway | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom" Without having experienced a threesome you seem pretty well versed in what it needs to be for you . You mention spontenaity in your opening post , yet seem to think that a few socials are necessary to ascertain suitability . And then have the gall to have a dig at clearly experienced guys in the very scenario you are looking to have ! Perhaps it's time to look again at exactly what you want . If it's a threesome with a guy who will respect you both , go for a guy who is well verified by other couples , and get on with it . By all means have a social first , but that should be enough . Better still , have a no pressure social with the option to play if you all agree . Then you will know more about what suits you , and your journey will start . | |||
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"I wouldn't meet a couple unless I could connect with both of them in some way, I don't want to meet have sex and leave, I want to be able to talk have a laugh and have something in common and that includes the Male, I don't mean both of us just wanting a MFM with his partner either" This there needs to be a spark with all people involved does your hubby have a close friend that he can share you with x | |||
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"When we're looking for a single guy to potentially join us for fun, we'll initially start with a kik 3-way convo, that way we can get an idea of how the guy is going to interact with us. We know this only gives a very basic idea of the guys personality but it's at least a starting point x" This works for us too. | |||
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"I wouldn't meet a couple unless I could connect with both of them in some way, I don't want to meet have sex and leave, I want to be able to talk have a laugh and have something in common and that includes the Male, I don't mean both of us just wanting a MFM with his partner either This there needs to be a spark with all people involved does your hubby have a close friend that he can share you with x " Something with the potential to go horribly wrong in a number of ways.... | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom Read my earlier post, I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means, It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where, Well that's how I read it anyway " I'm not partial to the expression 'know their place'. That implies the single man, invited to join the couple, is a sort of 'second class' to the couple. We play with a number of guys who absolutely understand the dynamics and are very respectful, and suspect they would not appreciate being told that they should 'know their place'. As a couple who are very experienced with playing with single men, our view is that all concerned should be equal in importance. However, what I will say regarding straight guys, is that there is a high risk that they are just putting up Mr being there in order to fuck the lady. And it doesn't matter how respectful the man is, it is always obvious when a man would privately prefer the husband to disappear so he can have a one-on-one with Mrs. It becomes particularly obvious when the man only communicates with Mrs. So forget 'knowing your place'. And respect should go without saying anyway. But I would urge a straight single guy, wanting to play with a couple, to ask himself 'do I want Mr there as part of the dynamic'. If he doesn't want the man there, then he really should only be pursuing women who are available for one-one-ones. Mrs | |||
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"I guess a lot of people get into swinging because they think they'll get laid. Not because they have the mindset of a swinger. Single people that is." Exactly this ^. There is a different mindset between a true swinger and someone looking for no strings sex. Back when i was a single male on scene this topic came up often, but i found that the best source of people that are swingers and single are often at greedy girl/gangbang events. Check veri's etc for this pattern as they will perform, understand the scene and have no issues around other guys. I think sometimes males that are looking for NSA sex, tend to have trouble leaving the 'Alpha' mentality at the door, and not everyone is into cuckold etc. | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom Read my earlier post, I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means, It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where, Well that's how I read it anyway " I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement. | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom Read my earlier post, I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means, It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where, Well that's how I read it anyway I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement." I think the only place hierarchy works is when the is a Dominant/submissive dynamic or a cuckold dynamic. But that has to be agreed, and the starting point is that all three are equal. And even when the hierarchy of the trio has been agreed and established, all three people are still of equal value in the arrangement. Mrs | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom Read my earlier post, I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means, It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where, Well that's how I read it anyway I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement." This hierarchy is very true for us too. As a couple, we are committed to each other. My hierarchy is that my husband comes first and foremost; if at anytime, I get the slightest inkling that he is being ignored or is uncomfortable, I will instantly stop whatever I am doing with *anyone* and take care of my husband's needs Incidentally, in our relationship, this works both ways for each other Does this mean that the single man is any lessor? Ofcourse not; but he is not my primary consideration - Mrs. J - | |||
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"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you. That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings. What does know their place in the proceedings mean ? Really!!! You need to ask that? Yes, Enlighten me The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom Read my earlier post, I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means, It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where, Well that's how I read it anyway I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement. This hierarchy is very true for us too. As a couple, we are committed to each other. My hierarchy is that my husband comes first and foremost; if at anytime, I get the slightest inkling that he is being ignored or is uncomfortable, I will instantly stop whatever I am doing with *anyone* and take care of my husband's needs Incidentally, in our relationship, this works both ways for each other Does this mean that the single man is any lessor? Ofcourse not; but he is not my primary consideration - Mrs. J -" I don'tconsider that a hierarchy. That's just putting your husband first, which is normal in all walks of life. I think a hierarchy swinging is when the single person is treated as a sort of toy to be used for the couples pleasure (which of course some men will be very happy with). Whereas an equal threesome is when everybody pleasure is of equal importance. But within that of course we put our loved ones first. Mrs | |||
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"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice. What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes? We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us. " That is what happens when you indulge in chatting. Far better to exchange a couple of messages to arrange the meet then meet and have sex. We have been swinging for over 35 years and since the early days have found the longer people sit around chatting the more the OPs try to play one to one with the female. If you simple meet and get on with the play everyone has a good active time. | |||
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"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice. What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes? We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us. That is what happens when you indulge in chatting. Far better to exchange a couple of messages to arrange the meet then meet and have sex. We have been swinging for over 35 years and since the early days have found the longer people sit around chatting the more the OPs try to play one to one with the female. If you simple meet and get on with the play everyone has a good active time." Spot on | |||
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"There are hundreds of guys on Fab, so it looks so easy for a couple looking for a single guy for a threesome. But I suspect for every hundred men who state they are available for couples, only one will genuinely enjoy threesomes with an MF couple. I think most guys on Fab prefer single women, but are prepared to put up with someone's husband being there in order to get sex. But there are men who love the dynamics of playing with an MF couple, and genuinely want the partner there as part of the equation. Patience is required to find them, but when you do find them treat them well and hold onto them because these guys are gold dust. You are more likely to find men who are into threesomes in clubs. I would also advise the OP to search for single men who are well verified by lots of couples - those guys will understand the etiquette of couple play. Us personally we will not meet a guy if he is only verified by single women - its vitally important they are into couples and I cannot stress that enough. Mrs" | |||
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"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice. What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes? We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us. That is what happens when you indulge in chatting. Far better to exchange a couple of messages to arrange the meet then meet and have sex. We have been swinging for over 35 years and since the early days have found the longer people sit around chatting the more the OPs try to play one to one with the female. If you simple meet and get on with the play everyone has a good active time." Good point. | |||
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