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Be Honest, Who Actually Reads?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We've been on here for 9 months or so now and the amount of 'single males' who haven't bothered to read our profile before messaging is quite scary. and embarrassing for them.

Now in the time we've been signed up to Fab we have noticed that single males don't get it easy on here, at all. Which we couldn't understand at first but think we're starting to understand why now.

We get so much junk mail it's unbelievable. To think people have soo little time on their hands that they can't read a profile, yet waste soo much of that precious time they don't seem to have sending spam??

Now we're not saying all single males are the same as we've chatted to some pretty genuine guys who are genuinely FAB.

But this is a question to those who clearly don't bother to read a profile before they send a copy and paste message or one liners as they're known.

How many successful meets have you had compared to how many you would of liked?

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By *unniebee1970Woman
over a year ago

The Hive

(Most) Single guys dont read...so they wont respond!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think getting a reply from the guys that don't read is wishful thinking OP, if they can't be bothered to read your profile, isn't it a tad optimistic to expect them to read this thread and contribute?

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By *unniebee1970Woman
over a year ago

The Hive

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have found during our many years here that its couples who are not reading our profile before sending a message.

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By *nglishdoodMan
over a year ago

Morristown

Honestly, I look at the profile pics and if there's a physical attraction I'll read the entire profile.

It's hard enough to get a reply... Why on earth would I set myself up for failure by messaging someone who isn't compatible?

If the forum is to be believed and men do stupid shit like that, then I don't think us thoughtful men have much competition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always read the profile and look at pics.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

I must admit to occasionally messaging those who are not looking for a single male. However those messages are usually a private response to a forum post or a status update.

As such they are not looking for a meet type messages and usually get a response.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

A lot of profiles are poorly written and very similar and a very brief 1 second glance is all I need before deciding whether to actually bother reading it.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Just block them and find your own.

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By *hat The CuckCouple
over a year ago

Croydon Area

The way we go about the "spam" messages and all messages received, we view that senders profile. If it doesn't appeal or lacks information/photos to attract us we delete the message.

If their profile does intrigue us we will respond to their one liner etc and reference our profile by stating "before we continue to chat do you feel you meet what we're looking for as stated on our profile?".

You will then find that if you pop to the 'Who's looked at my profile' feature you will see them looking again reading it (you hope). Some will come back saying yes and a conversation will quickly rule them out if they are what you're seeking or some will never message again (or at least until they forgot they messaged you before & try again that is).

And we must agree, couples was our biggest issue; not single guys that didn't read our profile so we gave up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get hundreds of messages. Mines a very long profile as I promote my meet place Eureka. If I get any message (save the cut and paste "what I'll do to you" which I delete ) I'll look at the pics, profile and veris then reply if im interested. I'll then invite them to fully read and agree to the terms of meeting ....

Sort of works - if not - I just redirect them back to profile lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble I've found is by the time you read a profile, looked at peoples lists of demands, managed to fit into peoples age ranges, have at least something in common that you can base an original opening message on, these are few and far between.

Then once sending a message, hope it gets read and the person likes you also.

I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just block them and find your own. "

That was the advice given to us and we took it

Now we get one or two messages per week from couples rather than 100 or more a day useless messages from single men

- Mrs. J -

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By *evonshireboyMan
over a year ago

North Devon


"The trouble I've found is by the time you read a profile, looked at peoples lists of demands, managed to fit into peoples age ranges, have at least something in common that you can base an original opening message on, these are few and far between.

Then once sending a message, hope it gets read and the person likes you also.

I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet. "

This is true. I'm not a prolific message writer, I take time to read a profile, try and write something moderately entertaining which is relevant to them...

And the result is that I have never yet had a reply, with at least 50% not even read. So you do start thinking "what's the point?"

I might as well write a simple generic message and send it 100 times and I might have a better response - it couldn't be worse

So I can understand why people don't read profiles - a numbers game probably has more success

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i do but then im not a single male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The trouble I've found is by the time you read a profile, looked at peoples lists of demands, managed to fit into peoples age ranges, have at least something in common that you can base an original opening message on, these are few and far between.

Then once sending a message, hope it gets read and the person likes you also.

I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet. "

I can fully understand this. Thats why I show my interest or not by replying ( and then invite them to fully read )

Not fair to demand they read pages on the off chance I might be interested. My heading basically sets out what I want lol

Still get the odd chancer or two tho !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet. "
Now i understand so they dont really care about who they meeting as long as they get one that may leaed to a fk for them hmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say that it's a little unreasonable to single out single males as being the only ones guilty of this OP, but ti be fair to you, you are speaking from your own personal experience.

I myself have found that many couples and single females are also culprits as I have received messages where it is blatantly obvious that they haven't read my profile, and also received winks from people who clearly haven't read the part of my profile which explains my position regarding this form of contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet. Now i understand so they dont really care about who they meeting as long as they get one that may leaed to a fk for them hmmm "

Pretty much yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Still get the odd chancer or two tho ! "

Hence the comment about the numbers game. By increasing their message rate, they automatically increase their response rate too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The trouble I've found is by the time you read a profile, looked at peoples lists of demands, managed to fit into peoples age ranges, have at least something in common that you can base an original opening message on, these are few and far between.

Then once sending a message, hope it gets read and the person likes you also.

I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet.

I can fully understand this. Thats why I show my interest or not by replying ( and then invite them to fully read )

Not fair to demand they read pages on the off chance I might be interested. My heading basically sets out what I want lol

Still get the odd chancer or two tho ! "

Just as an example, whilst I think you are incredibly hot and definitely someone I would be keen to play with, I fully understand, appreciate and respect your positionwith regard to where you will meet (and play) which is why I haven't bothered you with a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read fully, sometimes twice and it's probably why I very rarely message. A lot of people want only gym fit or slim - that's not me. Some only want over 8" - that's not me. Some don't want dominant men - That IS me. So I'm not going to waste their time and my own if I don't feel I fit their requirements.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make sure to read profiles fully, stops both of us wasting time if I don't meet what they want (usually 6ft+ ).

But then again, I've also had messages from people who's profiles state that they're not looking for single guys.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Always read the profile and look at pics. "

Same but in reverse!

I look at the pretty pictures first - then read if I'm attracted to them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care if anyone reads our profile or doesn't.

I do know which messages I will respond to.

Guys/couples/ladies waste as much of your own time as you want.

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Do profiles have writing on them then?

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

From all the single guys who have messaged us on here , we have only met with 4 genuine singles ..and out of those four we have only played with two .we arrange to meet them at club , we would consider meeting at their place if they can accommodate but they must be willing to invite me around to check place safe and clean for wife , but know one has ever agreed to that so either married or dirty house lol but we prefer club so if they don't turn up there is still fun to be had

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


" we would consider meeting at their place if they can accommodate but they must be willing to invite me around to check place safe and clean for wife , but know one has ever agreed to that so either married or dirty house lol "

Or they might just have some self respect

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Nah they wouldn't be cheating on their wife's and family if they had that ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From all the single guys who have messaged us on here , we have only met with 4 genuine singles ..and out of those four we have only played with two .we arrange to meet them at club , we would consider meeting at their place if they can accommodate but they must be willing to invite me around to check place safe and clean for wife , but know one has ever agreed to that so either married or dirty house lol but we prefer club so if they don't turn up there is still fun to be had "

No one has ever agreed to some random bloke turning up at their house to claim he's inspecting it for cleanliness?

What a fucking shocker!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place. "

War and peace? That's a good few hours read, I'm yet to find a profile that long.

I'd say ours is one of the longest, which takes 2/3 minutes read tops. And believe that if someone can't afford us the decency of spending 2/3 minutes reading about us and finding a little bit about our likes/dislikes and boundaries, then why should we bother with them?

In that, the length of our profile is a great filer in itself. Those it puts off, we wouldn't want to meet anyway, as clearly their only interest is their own gratification.

And I think that's the whole problem here, its that " instashag " attitude. People moaning about long profiles, having to read them, having to send messages that don't get read or responded to. People not wanting to play the way they want them to play. It's a self entitled attitude that completely discredits the whole ethos of what swinging is about.

My god, if it is such a chore getting to know, and meet like minded people to have an intimate connection with another human being, don't do it, go dogging, find some glory holes, buy a sex doll or hire a hooker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place.

War and peace? That's a good few hours read, I'm yet to find a profile that long.

I'd say ours is one of the longest, which takes 2/3 minutes read tops. And believe that if someone can't afford us the decency of spending 2/3 minutes reading about us and finding a little bit about our likes/dislikes and boundaries, then why should we bother with them?

In that, the length of our profile is a great filer in itself. Those it puts off, we wouldn't want to meet anyway, as clearly their only interest is their own gratification.

And I think that's the whole problem here, its that " instashag " attitude. People moaning about long profiles, having to read them, having to send messages that don't get read or responded to. People not wanting to play the way they want them to play. It's a self entitled attitude that completely discredits the whole ethos of what swinging is about.

My god, if it is such a chore getting to know, and meet like minded people to have an intimate connection with another human being, don't do it, go dogging, find some glory holes, buy a sex doll or hire a hooker.

"

very well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite often reply to the guy who's messaged me without reading my profile, to give himself a chance of actually meeting a woman and read the profile he's considering messaging. They have all replied telling me they did read mine.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Unless it's a guy on our friends list, or someone requesting details about the event, we know if a guy has read our profile by the fact that they are even messaging us lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not just single guys that don't read it's couples.

Profile is very clear I don't meet couples yet i get 2 or 3 messages or winks a day from couples.

It's annoying

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

No you idiot I arrange to meet them somewhere social if I think they can be trusted and my wife may like them , then I will ask , they are perfectly entitled to say no , I'm not just gonna bring my wife to some strangers house , a few guys we have met have been fine with that , and we have gone on to have good fun , the ones who were not are still on site without any meets or too scared in case their wives find out , it's the same if we want a meet at hotel I either check the guy out I won't put my wife in danger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No you idiot I arrange to meet them somewhere social if I think they can be trusted and my wife may like them , then I will ask , they are perfectly entitled to say no , I'm not just gonna bring my wife to some strangers house , a few guys we have met have been fine with that , and we have gone on to have good fun , the ones who were not are still on site without any meets or too scared in case their wives find out , it's the same if we want a meet at hotel I either check the guy out I won't put my wife in danger "

Who are you calling an idiot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're shocked by how many couples also contact us without reading our profile now, as for men we have given up and just delete without even opening.

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By *hickone48 and christinaMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"We've been on here for 9 months or so now and the amount of 'single males' who haven't bothered to read our profile before messaging is quite scary. and embarrassing for them.

Now in the time we've been signed up to Fab we have noticed that single males don't get it easy on here, at all. Which we couldn't understand at first but think we're starting to understand why now.

We get so much junk mail it's unbelievable. To think people have soo little time on their hands that they can't read a profile, yet waste soo much of that precious time they don't seem to have sending spam??

Now we're not saying all single males are the same as we've chatted to some pretty genuine guys who are genuinely FAB.

But this is a question to those who clearly don't bother to read a profile before they send a copy and paste message or one liners as they're known.

How many successful meets have you had compared to how many you would of liked?

I do read there profiles and I'm polite when I message them but some don't even reply back to say no thank you your not our type to the ones that do I reply back in a polite way and don't message them again iv had meets with couples but not as many as I would like but that's life they no guarantees

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read profiles, interests, check out pics if there are any, and then decide whether or not to send a message... making sure to include secret words, take a respecful approach and then keep the message to 2-3 sentences.

Of the messages I send probably about 7 out 10 are deleted without being opened, 3 out of 10 are read before being deleted.

Still, it's an amusing way to pass the time...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place.

War and peace? That's a good few hours read, I'm yet to find a profile that long.

I'd say ours is one of the longest, which takes 2/3 minutes read tops. And believe that if someone can't afford us the decency of spending 2/3 minutes reading about us and finding a little bit about our likes/dislikes and boundaries, then why should we bother with them?

In that, the length of our profile is a great filer in itself. Those it puts off, we wouldn't want to meet anyway, as clearly their only interest is their own gratification.

And I think that's the whole problem here, its that " instashag " attitude. People moaning about long profiles, having to read them, having to send messages that don't get read or responded to. People not wanting to play the way they want them to play. It's a self entitled attitude that completely discredits the whole ethos of what swinging is about.

My god, if it is such a chore getting to know, and meet like minded people to have an intimate connection with another human being, don't do it, go dogging, find some glory holes, buy a sex doll or hire a hooker.

"

- Mrs. J -

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)


"I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place.

War and peace? That's a good few hours read, I'm yet to find a profile that long.

I'd say ours is one of the longest, which takes 2/3 minutes read tops. And believe that if someone can't afford us the decency of spending 2/3 minutes reading about us and finding a little bit about our likes/dislikes and boundaries, then why should we bother with them?

In that, the length of our profile is a great filer in itself. Those it puts off, we wouldn't want to meet anyway, as clearly their only interest is their own gratification.

And I think that's the whole problem here, its that " instashag " attitude. People moaning about long profiles, having to read them, having to send messages that don't get read or responded to. People not wanting to play the way they want them to play. It's a self entitled attitude that completely discredits the whole ethos of what swinging is about.

My god, if it is such a chore getting to know, and meet like minded people to have an intimate connection with another human being, don't do it, go dogging, find some glory holes, buy a sex doll or hire a hooker.

"

Bravo!!! You should post more often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was this post about?? Sorry I never read the top bit

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

It's a mixed bag. Some blokes DO read my profile and have a fair bit to say that's relevant. I try my best to reply and start a convo. I appreciate the fact that they took the time to read my somewhat long-winded profile. Trouble is that I cannot possibly respond to all messages - I'd never get off Fab then.

Then there are other first message "wanna fuck now" type of blokes who're one big waste of time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I always read full and even add the word to message but noone replies then even I reply to any and all messages.Yet no reply.

Which seem to be makes or Ts TV nothing wrong with either I just respond saying I am fine chatting but some get arsey saying I should not lead them along my profile clearly states straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read people's profiles, how will I know what to write otherwise.

I want the recipient of my messages to know that I want them, and the best to start that conversation is to respect them and take the time to learn a bit about them and tailor my message to them.

I'm always amazed when men post in the forums that they've not met anyone, you read their one liner profile and its evident that they make no effort with themselves, so why should they expect someone else to reply. Its madness!

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By *eordie JoJoTV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

I constantly get messages asking the same shite....... I would say 80% of folk look at my pics and Neva read my profile which is a sure way to get my "heckles" up straight away .... yes it's long winded but I've spent the time to try and explain abit about me and injection some humour .... so they message .... I reply .... then get back how rude ... how abrupt are you .... pmsl ... well read my profile you muppet ... then you won't get the arsy reply from your daft question which I've already answered in my profile bio ..... 5 years .... still the same .... I even now get impressed if you have read my profile ... wtfbid thar about lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place.

War and peace? That's a good few hours read, I'm yet to find a profile that long.

I'd say ours is one of the longest, which takes 2/3 minutes read tops. And believe that if someone can't afford us the decency of spending 2/3 minutes reading about us and finding a little bit about our likes/dislikes and boundaries, then why should we bother with them?

In that, the length of our profile is a great filer in itself. Those it puts off, we wouldn't want to meet anyway, as clearly their only interest is their own gratification.

And I think that's the whole problem here, its that " instashag " attitude. People moaning about long profiles, having to read them, having to send messages that don't get read or responded to. People not wanting to play the way they want them to play. It's a self entitled attitude that completely discredits the whole ethos of what swinging is about.

My god, if it is such a chore getting to know, and meet like minded people to have an intimate connection with another human being, don't do it, go dogging, find some glory holes, buy a sex doll or hire a hooker.

"
well said xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I constantly get messages asking the same shite....... I would say 80% of folk look at my pics and Neva read my profile which is a sure way to get my "heckles" up straight away .... yes it's long winded but I've spent the time to try and explain abit about me and injection some humour .... so they message .... I reply .... then get back how rude ... how abrupt are you .... pmsl ... well read my profile you muppet ... then you won't get the arsy reply from your daft question which I've already answered in my profile bio ..... 5 years .... still the same .... I even now get impressed if you have read my profile ... wtfbid thar about lol x "

Your profile is not even that long or complex why do people not read it is beyond me lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bother reading profiles. I might reuse a similar introduction format for my messages to the profiles and people on here that I'm interested in but everything else is customised to address them specifically. Names, interests, anything that they might have specified in their profiles that I might be able to make myself a more attractive option to.

Doesn't matter a flying jot in the end whether they reply or not, whether they meet or not. Then again, I expect in a community flooded by single men we're just supposed to be merely at the whim and fancy of females and couples on here who can take time to complain about frivolities such as "people messaging without reading our profiles"!

In a way I see this as a perfect indictment of the present community and system on Fab. Men complain that couples and women don't bother even to reply and straight up ignore or block, no matter whether the messages sent are in good taste and with effort or otherwise. So if you can't take the effort to spare us men the respect if we even bothered to message you, before you know if we've put in effort with our messaging (which is another thing entirely) then I suspect most men won't bother putting in the effort writing more than "How r u, wanna fuck?" in a message that would stand more chance of being deleted, unopened and unread!

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"The trouble I've found is by the time you read a profile, looked at peoples lists of demands, managed to fit into peoples age ranges, have at least something in common that you can base an original opening message on, these are few and far between.

Then once sending a message, hope it gets read and the person likes you also.

I don't condone, but I understand why guys do it. It's a numbers game, the more messages sent the more chances of a meet.

This is true. I'm not a prolific message writer, I take time to read a profile, try and write something moderately entertaining which is relevant to them...

And the result is that I have never yet had a reply, with at least 50% not even read. So you do start thinking "what's the point?"

I might as well write a simple generic message and send it 100 times and I might have a better response - it couldn't be worse

So I can understand why people don't read profiles - a numbers game probably has more success"

Don't you think it's about time you gave up with Fab ? Your profile says you joined a year ago and still haven't had any message at all !

You would be better off joining a normal dating site as the women on there want sex just as much as the very few single women on Fab but there are far more of them and they probably outnumber the single men on some of the dating pay sites .

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

I read them all. Particularly if it's a long one, with plenty of information. I just had a quick look at your profile and I see you've got stacks of information about yourselves and it certainly reads with a real sense of honesty.

I'm sure you're aware however that the bulk of the couples and single women's profiles are pretty generic, yet they also make complaints in the forum about people not reading their profiles.

I also wonder if 'people don't read the profiles' is a paraphrased excuse for 'we're not only getting messages from people we fancy'. Although in your particular case I'm sure this isn't true.

I think every single man uses an element of what the snooker commentators call a shot to nothing. This is because, as regular forum users know, the complaints about messages not being read or replied to are just as common as the complaints about profiles not being read.

Any type of opening message really should be treated as an extension of the profile of the sender. Ask, is the style the same as the profile? Then if you like the profile you can start to see if you're quite as well suited, I think the actual content of the message exactly matching the requests of the profile is a big ask.

I notice you also have a keyword in your profile, just because people don't use this doesn't mean they haven't read your profile. Some may feel it says more about them if they're not following instruction..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not read as i do not view profile much anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I bother reading profiles. I might reuse a similar introduction format for my messages to the profiles and people on here that I'm interested in but everything else is customised to address them specifically. Names, interests, anything that they might have specified in their profiles that I might be able to make myself a more attractive option to.

Doesn't matter a flying jot in the end whether they reply or not, whether they meet or not. Then again, I expect in a community flooded by single men we're just supposed to be merely at the whim and fancy of females and couples on here who can take time to complain about frivolities such as "people messaging without reading our profiles"!

In a way I see this as a perfect indictment of the present community and system on Fab. Men complain that couples and women don't bother even to reply and straight up ignore or block, no matter whether the messages sent are in good taste and with effort or otherwise. So if you can't take the effort to spare us men the respect if we even bothered to message you, before you know if we've put in effort with our messaging (which is another thing entirely) then I suspect most men won't bother putting in the effort writing more than "How r u, wanna fuck?" in a message that would stand more chance of being deleted, unopened and unread!

"
w

So single men are at the whim of and fancy of single females and couples?

You're all unwitting, or unwilling slaves to our their sexual desires then? And if by some chance you meet a single female or couple? You get zero gratification from that sex, you get nothing from it?

Then why is a message sent?

Is it not because the sender would like some interaction with them? Sexual or otherwise? And that by having that desire, the receiver is duty bound to respond? They have to reciprocate that communication?

If that isn't a sense of entitlement, I'm not sure what is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP is from the Derby/Nottingham area. Last I checked, those aren't "small" cities by any sense of the word. So if I see that their profile has been on for nine months with only a scarce few pictures on and not a single verification, not even from social events then I am tempted to question more about 1) the OP's integrity as to whether they're actually real or not, and 2) whether they think swinging is just like fishing where they cast themselves into the scene here and wait for the right guy to come round biting.

In short, extremely not-proactive, with little in the way to reassure any prospective single men with a brain that hasn't been deprived of blood (from them all rushing to their lower parts of course) that they're real since they've got no verifications or sign of being active here in the first place. Nine months and no luck? OP, the hard truth is you've got to step up and be more proactive in putting yourself out there in your local swinging community because don't expect anyone on here to believe that you're such a unicorn couple in your personal standards that you can go for nine months without a meet in the region of a large city like Nottingham without a contributing factor being that you're far too picky or something along those lines.

I'm based in Hull. It's a dead end largely when it comes to swinging, most of the fun happens out of the city and the scene here is largely stagnant. If I'm a single man and I can still get the amount of verifications I have on here even from socials what is your excuse OP for having nothing to show for nine months? You're not royalty, don't expect Mr Perfect to serve himself up to you.

And I thought nine months would have been long enough a drought for you to realise that. If what you want ain't knocking, go put yourself out there more proactively and see how things change!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read them all. Particularly if it's a long one, with plenty of information. I just had a quick look at your profile and I see you've got stacks of information about yourselves and it certainly reads with a real sense of honesty.

I'm sure you're aware however that the bulk of the couples and single women's profiles are pretty generic, yet they also make complaints in the forum about people not reading their profiles.

I also wonder if 'people don't read the profiles' is a paraphrased excuse for 'we're not only getting messages from people we fancy'. Although in your particular case I'm sure this isn't true.

I think every single man uses an element of what the snooker commentators call a shot to nothing. This is because, as regular forum users know, the complaints about messages not being read or replied to are just as common as the complaints about profiles not being read.

Any type of opening message really should be treated as an extension of the profile of the sender. Ask, is the style the same as the profile? Then if you like the profile you can start to see if you're quite as well suited, I think the actual content of the message exactly matching the requests of the profile is a big ask.

I notice you also have a keyword in your profile, just because people don't use this doesn't mean they haven't read your profile. Some may feel it says more about them if they're not following instruction..

"

I'd imagine only the sender would think that, in our opinion we would be more likely to think, if they can't be bothered to respect a simple request when sending an email, what boundaries or requests might they ignore when meeting? And as said above, perhaps more interested in their own desires and gratification than our enjoyment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So single men are at the whim of and fancy of single females and couples?

You're all unwitting, or unwilling slaves to our their sexual desires then? And if by some chance you meet a single female or couple? You get zero gratification from that sex, you get nothing from it?

Then why is a message sent?

Is it not because the sender would like some interaction with them? Sexual or otherwise? And that by having that desire, the receiver is duty bound to respond? They have to reciprocate that communication?

If that isn't a sense of entitlement, I'm not sure what is?

"

I believe the sense of entitlement here in the swinging world lies largely with the single women and couples community, who automatically enjoy more trust and desirability in their profiles than single men despite not always having done anything beyond putting some pictures up with not so much a profile writeup to earn it.

The sense of entitlement that basically has them here making blanket assumptions that most single men here are disrespectful, and that as single females and couples they have the right to automatically assume the worst when it comes to single men (that any message coming in from them might more than likely be a timewaster, someone unsuitable, someone undesirable etc etc).

Sense of entitlement? If us men had that we'd all be pornstars. We'd earn big bucks filming ourselves having sex whilst hot women throw themselves at us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been on here for 9 months or so now and the amount of 'single males' who haven't bothered to read our profile before messaging is quite scary. and embarrassing for them.

Now in the time we've been signed up to Fab we have noticed that single males don't get it easy on here, at all. Which we couldn't understand at first but think we're starting to understand why now.

We get so much junk mail it's unbelievable. To think people have soo little time on their hands that they can't read a profile, yet waste soo much of that precious time they don't seem to have sending spam??

Now we're not saying all single males are the same as we've chatted to some pretty genuine guys who are genuinely FAB.

But this is a question to those who clearly don't bother to read a profile before they send a copy and paste message or one liners as they're known.

How many successful meets have you had compared to how many you would of liked?

"

If I'm interested in the person, then yes, I will read the profile in its entirety and tailor my message accordingly – that still doesn't get me very far though ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP is from the Derby/Nottingham area. Last I checked, those aren't "small" cities by any sense of the word. So if I see that their profile has been on for nine months with only a scarce few pictures on and not a single verification, not even from social events then I am tempted to question more about 1) the OP's integrity as to whether they're actually real or not, and 2) whether they think swinging is just like fishing where they cast themselves into the scene here and wait for the right guy to come round biting.

In short, extremely not-proactive, with little in the way to reassure any prospective single men with a brain that hasn't been deprived of blood (from them all rushing to their lower parts of course) that they're real since they've got no verifications or sign of being active here in the first place. Nine months and no luck? OP, the hard truth is you've got to step up and be more proactive in putting yourself out there in your local swinging community because don't expect anyone on here to believe that you're such a unicorn couple in your personal standards that you can go for nine months without a meet in the region of a large city like Nottingham without a contributing factor being that you're far too picky or something along those lines.

I'm based in Hull. It's a dead end largely when it comes to swinging, most of the fun happens out of the city and the scene here is largely stagnant. If I'm a single man and I can still get the amount of verifications I have on here even from socials what is your excuse OP for having nothing to show for nine months? You're not royalty, don't expect Mr Perfect to serve himself up to you.

And I thought nine months would have been long enough a drought for you to realise that. If what you want ain't knocking, go put yourself out there more proactively and see how things change! "

I'm not sure they asked for profile critique or advice on getting meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So single men are at the whim of and fancy of single females and couples?

You're all unwitting, or unwilling slaves to our their sexual desires then? And if by some chance you meet a single female or couple? You get zero gratification from that sex, you get nothing from it?

Then why is a message sent?

Is it not because the sender would like some interaction with them? Sexual or otherwise? And that by having that desire, the receiver is duty bound to respond? They have to reciprocate that communication?

If that isn't a sense of entitlement, I'm not sure what is?

"

Oh wait, I'm sorry. Aren't you violating the forum rules about communicating or interacting with someone here whom you've blocked? So why are you still responding to me if you've blocked my profile despite us having never spoken before?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So single men are at the whim of and fancy of single females and couples?

You're all unwitting, or unwilling slaves to our their sexual desires then? And if by some chance you meet a single female or couple? You get zero gratification from that sex, you get nothing from it?

Then why is a message sent?

Is it not because the sender would like some interaction with them? Sexual or otherwise? And that by having that desire, the receiver is duty bound to respond? They have to reciprocate that communication?

If that isn't a sense of entitlement, I'm not sure what is?

I believe the sense of entitlement here in the swinging world lies largely with the single women and couples community, who automatically enjoy more trust and desirability in their profiles than single men despite not always having done anything beyond putting some pictures up with not so much a profile writeup to earn it.

The sense of entitlement that basically has them here making blanket assumptions that most single men here are disrespectful, and that as single females and couples they have the right to automatically assume the worst when it comes to single men (that any message coming in from them might more than likely be a timewaster, someone unsuitable, someone undesirable etc etc).

Sense of entitlement? If us men had that we'd all be pornstars. We'd earn big bucks filming ourselves having sex whilst hot women throw themselves at us. "

I'm not sure anyone suggested all men acted in that manner?

I hate to use a cliche, but it is a sellers market.

Couples and single females are the main desired goods, and single men the buyers, some with nice shiny gold coins to pay with, and some with rocks.

You seem quite bitter in your response? Where does that bitterness come from if not a sense of entitlement may I ask?

Is it that you are forced to interact with these profiles against your will with no sense of personal gain?

Which by the way, I'm not sure a sense of entitlement got anyone to porn stardom and earning mega bucks..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

So single men are at the whim of and fancy of single females and couples?

You're all unwitting, or unwilling slaves to our their sexual desires then? And if by some chance you meet a single female or couple? You get zero gratification from that sex, you get nothing from it?

Then why is a message sent?

Is it not because the sender would like some interaction with them? Sexual or otherwise? And that by having that desire, the receiver is duty bound to respond? They have to reciprocate that communication?

If that isn't a sense of entitlement, I'm not sure what is?

Oh wait, I'm sorry. Aren't you violating the forum rules about communicating or interacting with someone here whom you've blocked? So why are you still responding to me if you've blocked my profile despite us having never spoken before? "

No not at all, but do feel free to report if you wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly, I look at the profile pics and if there's a physical attraction I'll read the entire profile.

It's hard enough to get a reply... Why on earth would I set myself up for failure by messaging someone who isn't compatible?

If the forum is to be believed and men do stupid shit like that, then I don't think us thoughtful men have much competition. "

Single guys should take note. Of all you have is cock and 'will film in later' there won't be any attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of entitled whingers here; enough to put one off contacting any single men

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/06/17 14:29:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly, I look at the profile pics and if there's a physical attraction I'll read the entire profile.

It's hard enough to get a reply... Why on earth would I set myself up for failure by messaging someone who isn't compatible?

If the forum is to be believed and men do stupid shit like that, then I don't think us thoughtful men have much competition. "

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"I read a all profiles. Unless it's war and peace than I won't message in the first place.

War and peace? That's a good few hours read, I'm yet to find a profile that long.

I'd say ours is one of the longest, which takes 2/3 minutes read tops. And believe that if someone can't afford us the decency of spending 2/3 minutes reading about us and finding a little bit about our likes/dislikes and boundaries, then why should we bother with them?

In that, the length of our profile is a great filer in itself. Those it puts off, we wouldn't want to meet anyway, as clearly their only interest is their own gratification.

And I think that's the whole problem here, its that " instashag " attitude. People moaning about long profiles, having to read them, having to send messages that don't get read or responded to. People not wanting to play the way they want them to play. It's a self entitled attitude that completely discredits the whole ethos of what swinging is about.

My god, if it is such a chore getting to know, and meet like minded people to have an intimate connection with another human being, don't do it, go dogging, find some glory holes, buy a sex doll or hire a hooker.

very well said "

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