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"It means I get properly diagnosed. I gain access to the help and guidance I need. " I'm so pleased for you that you are getting the guidance that you need to enable your journey forward to move in the right direction I bet you are so happy !!  | |||
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"It means I get properly diagnosed. I gain access to the help and guidance I need. I'm so pleased for you that you are getting the guidance that you need to enable your journey forward to move in the right direction I bet you are so happy !! "Happy enough to be crying. Xx | |||
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"It means I get properly diagnosed. I gain access to the help and guidance I need. I'm so pleased for you that you are getting the guidance that you need to enable your journey forward to move in the right direction I bet you are so happy !!
Happy enough to be crying. Xx"How long has it taken to get to this point ? X | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. . "I'm not trans, but one of my best friends is, and remember this milestone for her, so sending you | |||
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"It means I get properly diagnosed. I gain access to the help and guidance I need. I'm so pleased for you that you are getting the guidance that you need to enable your journey forward to move in the right direction I bet you are so happy !!
Happy enough to be crying. Xx
How long has it taken to get to this point ? X"About 40 years. | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. . "who's agreed? | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. .
who's agreed?"My wife. Post a very long talk tonight. I'm going for my next laser session tomorrow to remove my facial hair so it started the conversation. | |||
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"Thank you. It's another step but a big one. " And a step closer to your future. Congratulations. | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal "Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step. | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step. "She must be one special lady to support you the way is so can see why are still committed to your marriage You must have a very special relationship x | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step.
She must be one special lady to support you the way is so can see why are still committed to your marriage
You must have a very special relationship x"We have. Together 11 years and then I opened up about my gender mismatch and sexuality. She helped me unlock both. We got married soon after. 5 years later we're stronger than ever. | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step.
She must be one special lady to support you the way is so can see why are still committed to your marriage
You must have a very special relationship x
We have. Together 11 years and then I opened up about my gender mismatch and sexuality. She helped me unlock both. We got married soon after. 5 years later we're stronger than ever. " | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step.
She must be one special lady to support you the way is so can see why are still committed to your marriage
You must have a very special relationship x
We have. Together 11 years and then I opened up about my gender mismatch and sexuality. She helped me unlock both. We got married soon after. 5 years later we're stronger than ever. "It's great to hear , wish you both lots of luck with the next step xx | |||
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No matter your outer - your inner is alwats beautiful anyway xx | |||
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"I've been under a few doctors! arf arf" I've been under a couple of dentists and more than my fair share of Royal Marines. This will be my first doctor to my knowledge. | |||
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"Im so pleased for you racheal .. ive followed your story for a while now ... and have the upmost respect .... and your wife sounds an amazing lady . "Pardon me for saying but that's quite a change of tune for you. It's appreciated, but surprising. I've noticed a changing attitude towards the trans girls from you. | |||
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"Mine agreed too... Then made an appointment for me to get a vasectomy." I had one of those many years ago. I'm a long way away from castration though | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step.
She must be one special lady to support you the way is so can see why are still committed to your marriage
You must have a very special relationship x
We have. Together 11 years and then I opened up about my gender mismatch and sexuality. She helped me unlock both. We got married soon after. 5 years later we're stronger than ever. "Fantastic news OP and so good to see that you have a loving, supportive relationship that will be of much support as you experience your journey Kinky | |||
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"Im so pleased for you racheal .. ive followed your story for a while now ... and have the upmost respect .... and your wife sounds an amazing lady .
Pardon me for saying but that's quite a change of tune for you. It's appreciated, but surprising. I've noticed a changing attitude towards the trans girls from you. "I dont think ive changed ... ive still got a sarcastic sence of humour .... Perhaps your warming towards me now lol .... im a bit like marmite  x | |||
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"Im so pleased for you racheal .. ive followed your story for a while now ... and have the upmost respect .... and your wife sounds an amazing lady .
Pardon me for saying but that's quite a change of tune for you. It's appreciated, but surprising. I've noticed a changing attitude towards the trans girls from you.
I dont think ive changed ... ive still got a sarcastic sence of humour ....
Perhaps your warming towards me now lol .... im a bit like marmite x"Pm if you like. This is possibly not a forum conversation. | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. . "Congrats!! So happy for you | |||
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To you and Mrs | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step. "Great news OP.
Please don't take this the wrong way but remember she's dealing with this too. She sounds an amazing lady and I'm sure you look after each other. xx | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step.
Great news OP.
Please don't take this the wrong way but remember she's dealing with this too. She sounds an amazing lady and I'm sure you look after each other. xx"Sound advice and I promise you this is one of the main reasons I'm moving so slowly xx | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. . " | |||
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You seem so down to earth and lovely and glad your wife is there to help you through.
Good luck lovely
~Mia | |||
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"Bumped for you Rachael. " Well found! | |||
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"Bumped for you Rachael. Well found!" Senses like a bloodhound | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. . "That's fantastic news so pleased for you x x | |||
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"I can 'go under the doctor'. The other trans people know what a big step that is. . "Excellent news for you XXX | |||
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"Anyway... the reason I wanted to refind this thread was to update a little. As I've said, I like to go at a pace that takes my lady along with me rather than losing her on the way. As such I have yet to talk to a doctor. My wife was due an operation on her shoulder and I didn't want to find she had said yes to stop me going on about it. I know a couple where he cross dresses to have sex with other men who cross dress and his wife initially agreed this was ok and she would get her fulfilment via swinging. However, the reality of that is hurting her really badly but she says 'well I agreed to it so I can't stop it now'. I don't want that to happen in my own life so I asked. Gained permission and now I've given her some time to think, I asked again. The answer is still a yes, so I'm going ahead with it. Big decisions, in my opinion, should be made slowly. Given time for the consequences of it to sink in and then discussed further. " Thats really thoughtful ... you sound a lovely husband... bless you xx | |||
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"Anyway... the reason I wanted to refind this thread was to update a little. As I've said, I like to go at a pace that takes my lady along with me rather than losing her on the way. As such I have yet to talk to a doctor. My wife was due an operation on her shoulder and I didn't want to find she had said yes to stop me going on about it. I know a couple where he cross dresses to have sex with other men who cross dress and his wife initially agreed this was ok and she would get her fulfilment via swinging. However, the reality of that is hurting her really badly but she says 'well I agreed to it so I can't stop it now'. I don't want that to happen in my own life so I asked. Gained permission and now I've given her some time to think, I asked again. The answer is still a yes, so I'm going ahead with it. Big decisions, in my opinion, should be made slowly. Given time for the consequences of it to sink in and then discussed further. " Conga Rats! I wish more people had the same outlook on relationships & consideration of the other person. I do hope everything goes well for you & I look forward to more updates. Big cyber squishes to you both | |||
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"Hey congratulations and good luck! I hope it all works out for you. Don't let them (doctors) rush you but also stand your ground and push when you need to. It's tough going at times but so worth it in the end "Cheers fella. Not seen you on the forums for ages. I'll take that advice on board for sure xx | |||
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"Hey congratulations and good luck! I hope it all works out for you. Don't let them (doctors) rush you but also stand your ground and push when you need to. It's tough going at times but so worth it in the end
Cheers fella. Not seen you on the forums for ages. I'll take that advice on board for sure xx"Life has been a bit... hard work I guess is how I'll put it. I've not really had the energy to talk to people. But things are moving forward and I've taken back some control over how I, well, wasn't coping with what's going on. I need some fun back in my life, so I'm trying to be a bit more active
Just got to stay focused on the end goal which will make all the hard stuff worth it | |||
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"Hey congratulations and good luck! I hope it all works out for you. Don't let them (doctors) rush you but also stand your ground and push when you need to. It's tough going at times but so worth it in the end
Cheers fella. Not seen you on the forums for ages. I'll take that advice on board for sure xx
Life has been a bit... hard work I guess is how I'll put it. I've not really had the energy to talk to people. But things are moving forward and I've taken back some control over how I, well, wasn't coping with what's going on. I need some fun back in my life, so I'm trying to be a bit more active
Just got to stay focused on the end goal which will make all the hard stuff worth it "Hang on in there. PM if you want to chat, vent, whatever xxxx | |||
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"Hang on in there. PM if you want to chat, vent, whatever xxxx" Thank you I'll be OK, just need to keep moving forward, big changes ahead | |||
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"Hang on in there. PM if you want to chat, vent, whatever xxxx Thank you I'll be OK, just need to keep moving forward, big changes ahead "It's a combo of big steps. Little steps and patience. Use the support network including us here. Xxxx | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." Thank you for your input. We didn't marry til after all this came out for your info. So if the guy you marry was intuitively considerate to you in everything he did (I'm not just talking about coming out as trans) you'd leave him? I guess that's why you're single and I'm not, eh?  | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." I know couples who stayed together and one couple who found they could not. But to say it is "not right at all" is really not helpful or accurate. | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." Ahhhhh .... but this guy is special .... and until you know Rachel s story .... Please dont disrespect .... | |||
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"Hang on in there. PM if you want to chat, vent, whatever xxxx Thank you I'll be OK, just need to keep moving forward, big changes ahead
It's a combo of big steps. Little steps and patience.
Use the support network including us here. Xxxx"Lots of patience! Although that sounds more like advice I should be giving you! Haha!
Talking of advice, I know I went the other way so to speak, but as someone who is coming out the other end of transitioning (I just need to sort out my GRC), if I can be of any help feel free to give me a shout | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." If that is your view on it then you would be doing your partner a favour. Staying with them with that attitude would not have done either of you any good. | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." There's always one... | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." You see the bit about you leaving is ok because that's down to you and how you would take it. But saying It's not right at all. Who are you to offer judgement in that regard? That's just mean. I don't agree with some people's lifestyles and choices but I keep it to myself unless specifically invited to criticise. Anyway OP your wife sounds like a lovely understanding lady. | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all." Some spouses,with a partner undergoing major life changes like this,may consider that their partner is still the same person,the person that they love. Some may consider that their partner is no longer the same person,they may feel betrayed,they may feel that they did not sign up to the marriage on those terms. Either is a perfectly valid viewpoint and depends entirely on individual circumstances and feelings. It may not be right for some person but it is right for others. | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all. You see the bit about you leaving is ok because that's down to you and how you would take it. But saying It's not right at all. Who are you to offer judgement in that regard? That's just mean. I don't agree with some people's lifestyles and choices but I keep it to myself unless specifically invited to criticise. Anyway OP your wife sounds like a lovely understanding lady. " Some people are born with both sex organs I agree with them going under the knife. I am aloud to have an opinion nothing mean about my post either. | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all. You see the bit about you leaving is ok because that's down to you and how you would take it. But saying It's not right at all. Who are you to offer judgement in that regard? That's just mean. I don't agree with some people's lifestyles and choices but I keep it to myself unless specifically invited to criticise. Anyway OP your wife sounds like a lovely understanding lady. Some people are born with both sex organs I agree with them going under the knife. I am aloud to have an opinion nothing mean about my post either." So what's "not right" then? I think it's very mean. How many times do you think people in that position get told they are not "right". I guess sometimes they even feel not "right". Perhaps have some empathy and realise how you would feel when something's not quite "right" about how you feel about your body and people's perception of you. And by all means you are allowed an opinion just expect mine in turn. | |||
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" Some people are born with both sex organs I agree with them going under the knife. I am aloud to have an opinion nothing mean about my post either." The very notion that you somehow feel you have a say in who is allowed (that's how you spell it) to "go under the knife" is mean and frankly offensive. It's not your say what Rachael or anyone else does. And if her wife is supportive that is great. But either way it is their decision. | |||
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"Hang on in there. PM if you want to chat, vent, whatever xxxx Thank you I'll be OK, just need to keep moving forward, big changes ahead
It's a combo of big steps. Little steps and patience.
Use the support network including us here. Xxxx
Lots of patience! Although that sounds more like advice I should be giving you! Haha!
Talking of advice, I know I went the other way so to speak, but as someone who is coming out the other end of transitioning (I just need to sort out my GRC), if I can be of any help feel free to give me a shout "I'm good at seeing other people's route and guiding/supporting accordingly. I have a close m-f friend who I am supporting right now and her work transition has gone unbelievably smoothly. Taking my own advice, however, and seeing through my extreme emotion swings, is another matter. One minute I'm spinning and dancing the next I'm in tears. Xxx | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all. Ahhhhh .... but this guy is special .... and until you know Rachel s story .... Please dont disrespect .... "Can I request that we all stop saying "guy". I find that really quite upsetting. Xx | |||
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"I remember my wife arguing with someone years before I told her I had gender identity issues. They were discussing a documentary about a couple in a similar situation to ours and she was making the point that the wife probably loved the person over and above the body. For many people, sex becomes less important as they get older. Obviously everyone here are exceptions to that "Sex is very important to my wife. She spends most of her time finding reasons why we can't have any. | |||
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"I remember my wife arguing with someone years before I told her I had gender identity issues. They were discussing a documentary about a couple in a similar situation to ours and she was making the point that the wife probably loved the person over and above the body. For many people, sex becomes less important as they get older. Obviously everyone here are exceptions to that
Sex is very important to my wife. She spends most of her time finding reasons why we can't have any." | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all. Ahhhhh .... but this guy is special .... and until you know Rachel s story .... Please dont disrespect ....
Can I request that we all stop saying "guy". I find that really quite upsetting. Xx"True, it is almost as bad as saying could 'of' instead of could have! xxx  | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all. Ahhhhh .... but this guy is special .... and until you know Rachel s story .... Please dont disrespect ....
Can I request that we all stop saying "guy". I find that really quite upsetting. Xx"Sorry racheal .....I didnt mean to upset you .xxx | |||
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"If I was married to a guy like that I would of left not right at all. Ahhhhh .... but this guy is special .... and until you know Rachel s story .... Please dont disrespect ....
Can I request that we all stop saying "guy". I find that really quite upsetting. Xx
True, it is almost as bad as saying could 'of' instead of could have! xxx "it really isn't. Please don't make fun of this issue. | |||
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"Well there's always one; Awoke today to a message telling me I'm weird. My wife's weird for staying with me and I should kill myself. Nice. Keyboard coward. Unlos, naturally. So very brave "Unfortunately we get this a lot, especially those of us who aren't hidden in the shadows. I don't get the references to a partner as I don't have one but I've had the "Why are you alive?", "You're just ill", "Why are you wasting our Dr's time?" (and those are the nice ones...) etc. etc. Just report and block them (you can block them in the message, stops them from unblocking you later and having another go), and try to ignore them and keep your chin up x | |||
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"Well there's always one; Awoke today to a message telling me I'm weird. My wife's weird for staying with me and I should kill myself. Nice. Keyboard coward. Unlos, naturally. So very brave "People like are to be pitied,you appear to be well liked by many maybe that's what they didn't like. That person clearly is a very unhappy person. | |||
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"Well there's always one; Awoke today to a message telling me I'm weird. My wife's weird for staying with me and I should kill myself. Nice. Keyboard coward. Unlos, naturally. So very brave
Unfortunately we get this a lot, especially those of us who aren't hidden in the shadows. I don't get the references to a partner as I don't have one but I've had the "Why are you alive?", "You're just ill", "Why are you wasting our Dr's time?" (and those are the nice ones...) etc. etc.
Just report and block them (you can block them in the message, stops them from unblocking you later and having another go), and try to ignore them and keep your chin up x"As always this brave little soul has already left the site. I didn't post just how venomous the message actually was but it wasn't nice. I've reported it, although I doubt there's anything they can do. This idiot has probably rejoined by now ready to spread more hatred. Hey ho. Goes with the territory, I know. | |||
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"Well there's always one; Awoke today to a message telling me I'm weird. My wife's weird for staying with me and I should kill myself. Nice. Keyboard coward. Unlos, naturally. So very brave "What a cockwombling excuse of a twunt. I hope the persons that sent it is reading the forums from safety of his/her UNLOS black hole. 
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"Well there's always one; Awoke today to a message telling me I'm weird. My wife's weird for staying with me and I should kill myself. Nice. Keyboard coward. Unlos, naturally. So very brave "Stay strong and know that the vast majority of us think you are great. | |||
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"These posts and replies warm my ice cold heart. We're starting our own battle with the fight to get hormone blockers for a kid who really doesn't want to start puberty because she doesn't know that she wants the body she is destined to have. The doors are so heavy we can't open them. Every story I hear strengthens the will to fight. Thank you for sharing x" Did u see the documentary on bbc1 ... friday night I think.. the young lad from Aberystwyth ... who was starting treatment ... she was amazing . | |||
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"These posts and replies warm my ice cold heart. We're starting our own battle with the fight to get hormone blockers for a kid who really doesn't want to start puberty because she doesn't know that she wants the body she is destined to have. The doors are so heavy we can't open them. Every story I hear strengthens the will to fight. Thank you for sharing x Did u see the documentary on bbc1 ... friday night I think.. the young lad from Aberystwyth ... who was starting treatment ... she was amazing ." Thank you. I will look it up now | |||
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"These posts and replies warm my ice cold heart. We're starting our own battle with the fight to get hormone blockers for a kid who really doesn't want to start puberty because she doesn't know that she wants the body she is destined to have. The doors are so heavy we can't open them. Every story I hear strengthens the will to fight. Thank you for sharing x" Good luck with sorting that. I'd have loved to have had blockers as a child. I'm not sure how old I was when I knew but it was around seven I think. Entering puberty was traumatic as my body had s mind of its own and I hated the way it was developing. Keep pushing hard on those doors. | |||
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"These posts and replies warm my ice cold heart. We're starting our own battle with the fight to get hormone blockers for a kid who really doesn't want to start puberty because she doesn't know that she wants the body she is destined to have. The doors are so heavy we can't open them. Every story I hear strengthens the will to fight. Thank you for sharing x" Can I ask you to pm me please? I can't message you some info and I'm not sure I'm allowed to on the forums. | |||
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"Wow. Big step Rachel, good luck. Are you still committed to your marriage? Sorry if that's too personal
Absolutely. Hence why I seek her blessing before I take another step.
She must be one special lady to support you the way is so can see why are still committed to your marriage
You must have a very special relationship x
We have. Together 11 years and then I opened up about my gender mismatch and sexuality. She helped me unlock both. We got married soon after. 5 years later we're stronger than ever. "Congratulations. Wishing you the best of luck x | |||
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"Hopefully your wife will get some support too" I'm under the impression that there is quite a lot of support available to those close to transitioning people to help them deal with their own emotions. I think I've said before; transition is a very selfish thing. People often see it as such and suggest we just dress up in private so as not to cause such distress to those associated with us. My step daughter feels like this although I think the indirect conversation we had the other day may have prompted her to talk to her gay housemate and he may have shed some light for me. She brought her bf to see my wife yesterday and said "you're such a bloke mum" on several occasions. I think she's begining to see the reasons we mesh so well. The people who think dressing up is what this is all about and speak with such 'authority' and confidence. So sure they know what's best..... well they couldn't have missed the point more if they wanted to. I've spent the last 40 years feeling female. I've lost count of the times people say "that's really unusual for a guy" about so much that I do and the way I see the world. I first tried on clothing that revealed my inner self more clearly aged 42. As with many, I tried the stockings thing. It does nothing for me sexually. TBH stockings piss me off by making my shoes slip! I then went for it and bought hair and makeup. Shaved everywhere. Why? To eradicate masculinity. To present externally the way I feel internally. I can tell you I'm a police officer but you'll respond to me as such much better if I don the uniform. (I'm not, btw) That's what I do by dressing up. I look in the mirror and I see all the flaws. The hands. My height. That shape of my Neanderthal face. But generally I feel I look better female than male. It opens my confidence up and instead of being they grey person say quietly listening in the corner I'm up dancing with everyone. Give me a mic and I'll sing all night too. I'm painfully aware by coming out like this my family and friends have to deal with questions and embarrassment. If anything, it's worse for them. They may feel they are losing a person they thought they knew, no matter how much that person reassures them. My personality is shedding the bad side of me. The grumpy bugger. All my best traits come from the female side. My wife has noticed this. She's glad my male side is retreating. That side made me a twat at times. I want her to get support from outside too. To talk her feelings over with someone external to me too. | |||
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"The more I see of you and read about your story, the more I think you're both amazing people. Being so open and honest with your loved ones will only be good for you all long term." Thank you. It's what made us so comfortable swinging together too. | |||
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"Rachel you need to write a book .... you really do ..it would make no 1 xxxx" It has been suggested a few times. I'll take notes and perhaps I will when I'm further down the line xx | |||
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