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Swinging after having kids- advice wanted

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By *rovocPair OP   Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Hi guys and girls!

Me and my hubby used to have fairly regular meets before kids. We have young children now and we struggle with babysitters. How do those who have young children balance the swinging/ family life? It's put me off a bit and I find it devastating! Doesn't help that your body confidence plummets post children! Any advice/ suggestions greatly appreciated xx

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By *samCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

You look like you've got a great body! Body confidence always plummets after kids but people are looking for great times not super models. So be gentle with yourself and try to see all the scrummy bits you might overlook ( you've got a great bum, boobs and waist).

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

[Removed by poster at 29/05/17 17:25:40]

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

not sure about the babysitter thing as my ex does help out on the rare occasions i ask him to.

as for body confidence you will find that a lot of men don't mind and do understand most people do not have perfect bodies, i've had 5 babies myself (3 were large) and have gone naked with a lot of meets and they're not bothered and often returned again. i've noticed some women say they leave underwear on to hide the parts of them they don't want on show.

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By *icked_tongueMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"Hi guys and girls!

Me and my hubby used to have fairly regular meets before kids. We have young children now and we struggle with babysitters. How do those who have young children balance the swinging/ family life? It's put me off a bit and I find it devastating! Doesn't help that your body confidence plummets post children! Any advice/ suggestions

greatly appreciated xx"

Take it from me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You have a fantastic figure.....very,very yummy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your figure is probably in the top 5% on here you've got nothing to worry about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi guys and girls!

Me and my hubby used to have fairly regular meets before kids. We have young children now and we struggle with babysitters. How do those who have young children balance the swinging/ family life? It's put me off a bit and I find it devastating! Doesn't help that your body confidence plummets post children! Any advice/ suggestions

greatly appreciated xx"

Body confidence takes a beating after having kids for us all but you look like you don't need to worry chick you look great :0)

As for the meeting people it just tends to be very rarely for us but we kind of like it that way really xx

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By *wingtolifeCouple
over a year ago

who knows

we're lucky to both have local grandparents so havent had to rely on babysitters.

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By *cjacoupleCouple
over a year ago

wakefield

Same here wen we had 1 grand parents wanted them all the time but now we hav 2 it's a little harder needs good planning n hopefully not meeting time wasters x x x

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By *TravellerjerseyMan
over a year ago

Jersey, Guernsey, CI, & South of Eng

If they comment about your body, or turn their nose up, then surely they don't deserve you and your partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi guys and girls!

Me and my hubby used to have fairly regular meets before kids. We have young children now and we struggle with babysitters. How do those who have young children balance the swinging/ family life? It's put me off a bit and I find it devastating! Doesn't help that your body confidence plummets post children! Any advice/ suggestions greatly appreciated xx"

First..you look great

As for kids getting looked after we tend to plan ahead, and work with dates we can get, if ppl (without kids) are not willing to wait or be flexible then bin them, if a kid free night comes up last minute.. get on here and let everyone know.

We have found that throwing a well organised party helps too x

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By *rovocPair OP   Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Thank you everyone. Our parents have the kids while we're at work so we don't want to take the piss with having them overnight too. So far it's rare we meet but it's great fun when we do! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all in the detail try to plan ahead ? I'm sure it makes the fun when it comes even more fun ?

Think most women have something they don't like about their bodies but most are unfounded !!

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By *otmale4cplMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Indeed you have wonderful figure.no need to worry but why you have put age restrictions on your profile. Me from Huddersfield...

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Thank you everyone. Our parents have the kids while we're at work so we don't want to take the piss with having them overnight too. So far it's rare we meet but it's great fun when we do! X"

Unless you have a large network of family for child minding then swinging can take a hit.

I guess it depends on your expectations of how frequently meeting up should be.

We tend to get time to meet in fits and starts. Its been easier since they have made friends at school as reciprocal sleep overs are handy. So being willing to look after someone else's children earns you nights back in the future.

However as someone already said the more kids you have the more tricky child minding becomes as they have different friends so co-ordination becomes trickier.

We always thought it would be ideal to have a swingers child minding service. But I guess it still comes down to trust, you can pay for childminders but would you trust them.

If there is a teenager nearby looking for money that you would trust that is another option, but with a baby I'd probably not go down that route.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alot of people love mum tums

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By *rovocPair OP   Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Thank you everyone. Our parents have the kids while we're at work so we don't want to take the piss with having them overnight too. So far it's rare we meet but it's great fun when we do! X

Unless you have a large network of family for child minding then swinging can take a hit.

I guess it depends on your expectations of how frequently meeting up should be.

We tend to get time to meet in fits and starts. Its been easier since they have made friends at school as reciprocal sleep overs are handy. So being willing to look after someone else's children earns you nights back in the future.

However as someone already said the more kids you have the more tricky child minding becomes as they have different friends so co-ordination becomes trickier.

We always thought it would be ideal to have a swingers child minding service. But I guess it still comes down to trust, you can pay for childminders but would you trust them.

If there is a teenager nearby looking for money that you would trust that is another option, but with a baby I'd probably not go down that route. "

We have nearly two year old twins so it's a big ask whoever! They're getting to an age where we can probably leave with babysitter and go to socials which is progress!

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By *rovocPair OP   Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Indeed you have wonderful figure.no need to worry but why you have put age restrictions on your profile. Me from Huddersfield..."

Sorry to go off topic- we have age restrictions because the people we tend to be attracted to sit within that age range. Personal preference...

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

Have to mirror what everyone else has said, you have absolutely nothing to worry about in the body stakes, you look absolutely divine. No one is perfect, and if some are as shallow to give you a negative comment, then tell them where to go. You're a mum, one of the best things in the world, brining life into the world. And you're are so much more than your dress size, it means bugger all...

Yes I would say it's all about planning, arrange your dates, perhaps earn some nights by babysitting for friends etc, are you in a baby group, kids with similar age and parents with similar problems, so you help each other out?

All the best

HG

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi guys and girls!

Me and my hubby used to have fairly regular meets before kids. We have young children now and we struggle with babysitters. How do those who have young children balance the swinging/ family life? It's put me off a bit and I find it devastating! Doesn't help that your body confidence plummets post children! Any advice/ suggestions greatly appreciated xx"

As a single parent I completely understand and sympathise with the problems of meets/childcare. You just have to take the opportunities when they arise.

As for body confidence - well, there is a reason us guys say mummies are yummy

Hope you manage to fit in some fun somehow.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"

We have nearly two year old twins so it's a big ask whoever! They're getting to an age where we can probably leave with babysitter and go to socials which is progress! "

Ah but twins maybe a winner if they have the same group of friends when it comes to sleepovers at school.

Two year olds are probably still a handful for a teenager, but a mum from a group you know maybe more than willing to give you a Friday night out in return for one later in the month.

You will just have to work on your lies. If you are going to say your going to a movie make sure you read a spoiler blog for any tricky questions on your return.

We tend to stick with just a non descript night out, just the two of us.

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By *andomfodCouple
over a year ago

walsall

We have the same problem. Working shifts and finding a sitter makes it a nightmare. Definitely frustrating! As for body confidence.. You look great and anyone who doesn't agree isn't suited to play with you anyway

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London

I feel your pain. As a single dad, who has 100% custody of young children and who lives in the countryside it's VERY tough. Luckily I work for myself, so I still get some 'play time' but it's limited to weekday daytimes or evenings (when I have to be away for work sometimes). Weekends are rather precious because that's when I get to see them the most - I've had about two child/ work free weekends over the past 18 months - I hope when they're a bit older this will increase, as I'm loathe to travel any distance away from them at weekends at the moment. Sadly I have no relatives nearby that can help either, and no parents still alive. Good babysitters are tricky but luckily school is brilliant, and as some children board there they can even look after them in the evenings some time. Clearly most people (sensibly) tend to play at weekends (including traditional 2-parent families), so even if I match with someone here it can be tough. On the plus side people have been kind enough to verify me so some people are willing to go out on a limb to meet me. I think the key thing is to look for 'nice' people (sadly a hugely under-rated characteristic on here) who understand, can accommodate you timewise and are understanding that your family must come first. Also try and fit in as much exercise as you can (easy to say I know), although people in similar positions (if they are indeed nice) won't expect you to have the physique of a 20 year old athlete if you have children. Good luck and I'm sure you'll work out a way around it. XX

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

London


"Hi guys and girls!

Me and my hubby used to have fairly regular meets before kids. We have young children now and we struggle with babysitters. How do those who have young children balance the swinging/ family life? It's put me off a bit and I find it devastating! Doesn't help that your body confidence plummets post children! Any advice/ suggestions greatly appreciated xx"

PS - You still have fit bodies! LOL

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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

Late to the party on this one but as well as echo what others have said I/we will add...

Post kids swinging definitely becomes more difficult, especially if grandparents are not nearby and having the kid(s) over night.

For a start you can no longer bring anyone back to yours for fun (well you can if that is your choice but we won't as it feels completely wrong to be doing a DP with your little precious upstairs). So it requires the other people to host or get a hotel.

Planning ahead becomes necessary so all those spontaneous booty calls are a thing of the past!

We still play but the frequency dropped significantly (although we did do an awful lot before child lol).

Then there is that other conundrum... Having enough free non kid time to also still enjoy each other and go for dinner and just be a couple AND also get some naughty play time!

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By *losguygl3Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

For the first couple of years after the kids were born we played separately so that we always had a kiddie sitter without having to lie to friends or family.

Now they are a older it has got easier to find the opportunity and we have started going back to X-tasias

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of planning lol

I'm a single mum so my meets can't be often but I still manage to get out with a very understanding swinging mum x

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I'm a single parent bit providing you both always swing together we are in the same boat. In fact your situation maybe harder as at least my ex has them every couple of weekends. Like many other vanilla hobbies, activities kids get in the way of swinging. In fact some would argue even more so as the kids get older. It not possible to have the same free time or energy with kids. Hopefully you have the aid of family/close friends who can have the kids now and then. All i can suggest is when you free time really live it to the full and enjoy it.

Plus having the trumps the the joy of swinging so you haven't lost out when you think of it that way. And the won't be kids forever. Once they turn 16 get them down the Armed Forces Recruiting Office, sign them over and get them out the house.

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By *hoenixandflamesCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Flames here,

We can relate as we've got a 6 month old, and a 10 year old and only one set of grandparents...

The body confidence thing takes time to re-aquire, but looking at the pics? I'll bet you'll not have anyone worth playing with hesitate!

Luckily, we have a friend who knows about "the life style" which means now the little one is older we might be able to get out every now and then for a Friday night, but it'll be the only night we get.

But it does mean we can't accommodate any more.

And I have a piss taking brother in law which means we can't ask the grand parents for favours too.

I've come late in to life as both a parent and a swinger, but I know that swinging will still be there in years to come too... Even if I am older than I would have liked!

I think, basically, there is no easy solution.

As the other balance is - does any opportunity you do have for some freedom *always* have to revolve around swinging? As what happens if you want to have a movie? Or a social?

:-/

Tough choices...

But - Just have patience. As much as you might need to say that through gritted teeth... I know I do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've a fantastic body so no worries ok that front, we find we just need to plan meets rather than go for spontaneous meets. We also speak to people so we're confident everyone will turn up ( not a total guarantee of course) but so far things have worked out

We'd certainly meet you so don't feel you don't appeal to people

Enjoy x

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