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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Obviously I'm not your target audience but it reads quite reasonable - not too pushy.

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By *ause and EffectCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

I think it's a good message and one likely to get a response if the person then likes your profile and pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?"
so was that an introduction to a woman you've not spoken to before?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's a good message and one likely to get a response if the person then likes your profile and pictures "

Thanks xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?so was that an introduction to a woman you've not spoken to before?"

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally wouldn't like someone asking me what turns me on in their first message. There also seems to be a lot about you and not much about her which is offputting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I personally wouldn't like someone asking me what turns me on in their first message. There also seems to be a lot about you and not much about her which is offputting."

Ok, what if there isn't much about her in the profile to work from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm interested why you would message someone who doesn't have much in her profile. If that's the case however, I suppose the message you sent is fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm interested why you would message someone who doesn't have much in her profile. If that's the case however, I suppose the message you sent is fine."

Intrigued I guess. There must be a reason for joining the site. Something that triggers you to look into it and join. So as there wasn't much on the profile I thought I'd say hello and try to find out. That was the reason for the 'what turns you on'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only asked because in my experience those with very short profiles are either (a) lazy (b) not serious about meeting or (c) fake, but of course it remains to be seen whether the person in question falls into any of those categories. Hope she doesn't, and that you get a reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?so was that an introduction to a woman you've not spoken to before?

Yep"
well if advice from people you dont know counts ,my advice is get to know woman first before you mention sex thing ,some will be ok with it but most won't and remember only say things you would actually say if you were sat in a pub talking to them face to face

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah, I guess there's that. Fingers crossed, but I'm now wise enough to fab ways to not hold out too much hope when I send a message lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I got asked "what turns you on" in a first message I would delete too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"if I got asked "what turns you on" in a first message I would delete too. "

Do you not think the context of the profile could warrant that question sometimes though?

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

I don't like the what turns you on questions either I actually don't like talking about sex at all until I know I want to have sex with said person.

But apart from that it's not bad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't like the what turns you on questions either I actually don't like talking about sex at all until I know I want to have sex with said person.

But apart from that it's not bad "

Good to know. Thanks!

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?so was that an introduction to a woman you've not spoken to before?

Yepwell if advice from people you dont know counts ,my advice is get to know woman first before you mention sex thing ,some will be ok with it but most won't and remember only say things you would actually say if you were sat in a pub talking to them face to face "

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

asking what turns her on and saying you have had horny times

I would not respond sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if you were what I was looking for I'd likely have not replied as you've launched into asking what turns her on.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?so was that an introduction to a woman you've not spoken to before?

Yepwell if advice from people you dont know counts ,my advice is get to know woman first before you mention sex thing ,some will be ok with it but most won't and remember only say things you would actually say if you were sat in a pub talking to them face to face "

I totally agree with this.

I always let the other person take the first steps into more salacious chat having built up a rapport

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Even if you were what I was looking for I'd likely have not replied as you've launched into asking what turns her on. "

Again, context of the profile must come into play here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Even if you were what I was looking for I'd likely have not replied as you've launched into asking what turns her on.

Again, context of the profile must come into play here? "

Not for me no. I doubt I'd even look at your profile to be honest if you asked me what turns me on in a first message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Even if you were what I was looking for I'd likely have not replied as you've launched into asking what turns her on.

Again, context of the profile must come into play here? "

Your message would be OK to a person with a profile, very direct on sex. Someone who says " I'm not into chat, waste no time and want sex and sex alone. Filthy whore. C'mon guys, tell me what turns you on.. Hmm, I'm fucking wet already".

Such profiles are usually fake or the person is in the adult businesses, so they won't catch my interest.

So there it is.Direct message to a direct profile.

Be a bit more subtle, be a gentleman. At all times, not only at the begging.

Good fuck...sorry, my dirty predictive text... luck !

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

Some very good points. If fab/online is your only contact medium then it's crucial to get it right. That said, there is strictly no right and wrong.

As mentioned some wouldn't reply, some would. Some won't even read what you've said and go straight to the pics.

Be true to yourself - if what you really want to write, and is who you are is more "want to fuck you better than any other man could and show you a great time" then put it! - you'll narrow your responses but you'll be happier with the ones you do get.

So, if you want to ask something. Ask!

You can't please all the people all of the time.

The more diluted and generic your message becomes the less intresting it becomes. In some ways I'd rather have someone say "Kate looks gorgeous - I'd love a night alone with her!" Than, "happy to play as a couple with hubby there or alone if required.." - now, neither would definitely get a reply but at least I feel like I know what the first guys motivations are - the second there's the thought that, yes he's being very accommodating BUT is he just saying that to get a shag??

It's a bloody mind field.

Be yourself - then whatever happens will be the right outcome.

D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Even if you were what I was looking for I'd likely have not replied as you've launched into asking what turns her on. "

Agree on that I don't like been asked for me it's all about finding out there kicks ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some very good points. If fab/online is your only contact medium then it's crucial to get it right. That said, there is strictly no right and wrong.

As mentioned some wouldn't reply, some would. Some won't even read what you've said and go straight to the pics.

Be true to yourself - if what you really want to write, and is who you are is more "want to fuck you better than any other man could and show you a great time" then put it! - you'll narrow your responses but you'll be happier with the ones you do get.

So, if you want to ask something. Ask!

You can't please all the people all of the time.

The more diluted and generic your message becomes the less intresting it becomes. In some ways I'd rather have someone say "Kate looks gorgeous - I'd love a night alone with her!" Than, "happy to play as a couple with hubby there or alone if required.." - now, neither would definitely get a reply but at least I feel like I know what the first guys motivations are - the second there's the thought that, yes he's being very accommodating BUT is he just saying that to get a shag??

It's a bloody mind field.

Be yourself - then whatever happens will be the right outcome.

D"

Good advice here!

Did you mean a "mine field" or were you playing with words?

BTW, can I have Katie for a night to give her DP and threesome all by myself?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks all so far!!

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford


"Some very good points. If fab/online is your only contact medium then it's crucial to get it right. That said, there is strictly no right and wrong.

As mentioned some wouldn't reply, some would. Some won't even read what you've said and go straight to the pics.

Be true to yourself - if what you really want to write, and is who you are is more "want to fuck you better than any other man could and show you a great time" then put it! - you'll narrow your responses but you'll be happier with the ones you do get.

So, if you want to ask something. Ask!

You can't please all the people all of the time.

The more diluted and generic your message becomes the less intresting it becomes. In some ways I'd rather have someone say "Kate looks gorgeous - I'd love a night alone with her!" Than, "happy to play as a couple with hubby there or alone if required.." - now, neither would definitely get a reply but at least I feel like I know what the first guys motivations are - the second there's the thought that, yes he's being very accommodating BUT is he just saying that to get a shag??

It's a bloody mind field.

Be yourself - then whatever happens will be the right outcome.

D

Good advice here!

Did you mean a "mine field" or were you playing with words?

BTW, can I have Katie for a night to give her DP and threesome all by myself? "

Lol yes - mine field... but both work.

Errrm, unless you've got 2 cocks you're going to struggle to DP or have a threesome all by yourself... but I guess that's not what you meant?

D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll copy and paste your message OP and mail it to a few ladies..... I'll let you know how I get on pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer the direct approach. Gets me a few slaps across the face too which is quice nice.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?so was that an introduction to a woman you've not spoken to before?

Yepwell if advice from people you dont know counts ,my advice is get to know woman first before you mention sex thing ,some will be ok with it but most won't and remember only say things you would actually say if you were sat in a pub talking to them face to face "

Exactly this.

If this was the 1st message I received from a guy I would be unlikely to answer.

Yes it's a swingers site, and yes you would possibly like to have sex with the woman you are mailing, but you don't need to mention it in a 1st message or ask what turns them on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op has mentioned the context of the profile here a couple of times... My Guess would be that their page says something like "up for anything" "open to new things" "will try everything once, twice to be sure" etc...

So I can understand why he's asked the question in the instance only... He's trying to narrow it down to see if there is anything they can connect on...

However, also agree with all other comments in that it would usualy be a question later on (and normally shouldn't need to be asked as by a few messages in you should have a good idea).

Great comments from all sides though as always

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I don't like the what turns you on questions either I actually don't like talking about sex at all until I know I want to have sex with said person.

But apart from that it's not bad "

I'm the same and I also find it very presumptuous to be honest, and I would just ignore

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks all.

It's a real balancing act! To forward puts people off, too plain and boring puts people off.

Need to find the goldilocks message!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks all.

It's a real balancing act! To forward puts people off, too plain and boring puts people off.

Need to find the goldilocks message!!"

No such thing. That's going to depend on the person you're messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, I'm pretty sure it's against forum rules to post the contents of private messages in the forum.

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton


"Erm, I'm pretty sure it's against forum rules to post the contents of private messages in the forum.

"

When it's his own messages on his own thread?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Erm, I'm pretty sure it's against forum rules to post the contents of private messages in the forum.

"

No details on who I sent the message to. So don't see the problem...

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?"

first line is good, it shows you read the profile and the comment itself was quite funny.

mentioning you are after the same thing is good, it shows compatibility. but being explicit about having 'horny' times is a bit too much. you wanting more also comes across as selfish.

asking what turns someone on is overstepping a boundary, imo. you don't know if they even care to tell you that or are interested in you sexually. asking this can also come across as you wanting wank chat.

last line is good as well, gives an idea of what you want and is asking politely.

i personally think profiles should go into the nitty gritty of what you want so that you don't have to send too explicit messages to the person you are contacting, my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?

first line is good, it shows you read the profile and the comment itself was quite funny.

mentioning you are after the same thing is good, it shows compatibility. but being explicit about having 'horny' times is a bit too much. you wanting more also comes across as selfish.

asking what turns someone on is overstepping a boundary, imo. you don't know if they even care to tell you that or are interested in you sexually. asking this can also come across as you wanting wank chat.

last line is good as well, gives an idea of what you want and is asking politely.

i personally think profiles should go into the nitty gritty of what you want so that you don't have to send too explicit messages to the person you are contacting, my opinion."

Thanks! That's good feedback!!

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"So there's loads of posts asking for advice about what to write (I've done it before). Thought I'd try a different approach and get opinion on one if the last messages i sent... the profile didn't say much but included that the person didn't know what they wanted and was open to trying everything. So, my message to her:

Everything?? That's a lot of things to get through

That's why I joined too. Basically to try things I hadn't done but wanted too. So glad I did, I've had some very horny times. Problem is it leaves me wanting more.

I like finding out what turns someone on and building on that. So, what turns you on?

I'd love to chat and maybe explore some things together. I want to try a party or another club but with someone rather than on my own

Chris xx

So, what do you think about this? Good, bad, ok... would it elicit a response from you?

first line is good, it shows you read the profile and the comment itself was quite funny.

mentioning you are after the same thing is good, it shows compatibility. but being explicit about having 'horny' times is a bit too much. you wanting more also comes across as selfish.

asking what turns someone on is overstepping a boundary, imo. you don't know if they even care to tell you that or are interested in you sexually. asking this can also come across as you wanting wank chat.

last line is good as well, gives an idea of what you want and is asking politely.

i personally think profiles should go into the nitty gritty of what you want so that you don't have to send too explicit messages to the person you are contacting, my opinion.

Thanks! That's good feedback!!"

you're welcome.

i think you only aren't allowed to discuss messages people send to you coz it's classed as airing dirty laundry.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

The guys that we have bothered to meet only ever asked to meet in a pub for a drink!!

We all know why we are meeting so be need to go into detail before then.

A little bit of chat to see if we have the same sense of humour before is good, and just breaks the ice.

Mx

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Delete block. Clearly sending a generic message. Plus one of my wife's pet hates is "what turns you on?" or connotations of that.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"I only asked because in my experience those with very short profiles are either (a) lazy (b) not serious about meeting or (c) fake, but of course it remains to be seen whether the person in question falls into any of those categories. Hope she doesn't, and that you get a reply!"

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Erm, I'm pretty sure it's against forum rules to post the contents of private messages in the forum.

No details on who I sent the message to. So don't see the problem..."

I don't make the rules. Just giving you a heads up in case a Mod sees it and deems it a breach of the rules.

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