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"Personally, I'd keep things how they are if she's not really interested. The grass isn't always greener on the other side x" That's a definite fear for me I have to admit. Maybe we just need more sex... :D | |||
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"As long as people can verify that your wife is ok with it (have a Skype chat with her perhaps) then I don't see there being many problems for most people unless they strictly want to see a single man. Not sure what your accommodating situation is but it might make some uncomfortable being in a couples home when only one of you is there - sort of like they're intruding. " We wouldn't be able to accommodate and that would definitely be very weird! Verifying she's ok with it would make sense... | |||
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"My wife has had quite a number of sexual partners before me however I've had only two sexual partners in 37 years. I'm not sure if this is an achievement worth keeping or I'm missing out on something fun! We've spoken about it at length and she's happy for me to try new things with people but she's not interested in doing it herself. Is there some kind of stigma attached to married guys swinging on their own? I seem to have had a number of couples now who were interested at first but then as soon as I mention my wife doesn't swing...they bid me farewell. Any tips? Is my profile reading clearly? All help and advice appreciated x"Hello welcome to fabs! Yes your profile reads clearly. I am not sure why the couple you spoke to was so focused on your wife participating, you're on a single profile not a couples one. Yes there are plenty swingers who will not consider married men, but others who don't care. Some swingers take a dim view on cheating, and the problem is that even though a married person may claim they are in an open relationship, it is not easy to confirm this. This aside, the swinging world is extremely competitive for single men in general. Your lack of accommodation especially will work against you in many cases. Is it worth keeping the achievement of only having been with two... Is chastity a valuable element of your self-understanding? Personally I think pursuing your sexual expression is a worthy endeavour (though I would say that, wouldn't I!)... For some this means more sexual experiences with the same partner, for others it means more partners, sometime at the same time! It's not about missing out, but it is about living more. | |||
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"My wife has had quite a number of sexual partners before me however I've had only two sexual partners in 37 years. I'm not sure if this is an achievement worth keeping or I'm missing out on something fun! We've spoken about it at length and she's happy for me to try new things with people but she's not interested in doing it herself. Is there some kind of stigma attached to married guys swinging on their own? I seem to have had a number of couples now who were interested at first but then as soon as I mention my wife doesn't swing...they bid me farewell. Any tips? Is my profile reading clearly? All help and advice appreciated x
Hello welcome to fabs! Yes your profile reads clearly. I am not sure why the couple you spoke to was so focused on your wife participating, you're on a single profile not a couples one. Yes there are plenty swingers who will not consider married men, but others who don't care. Some swingers take a dim view on cheating, and the problem is that even though a married person may claim they are in an open relationship, it is not easy to confirm this. This aside, the swinging world is extremely competitive for single men in general. Your lack of accommodation especially will work against you in many cases.
Is it worth keeping the achievement of only having been with two... Is chastity a valuable element of your self-understanding? Personally I think pursuing your sexual expression is a worthy endeavour (though I would say that, wouldn't I!)... For some this means more sexual experiences with the same partner, for others it means more partners, sometime at the same time! It's not about missing out, but it is about living more."Great reply x  | |||
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"My wife has had quite a number of sexual partners before me however I've had only two sexual partners in 37 years. I'm not sure if this is an achievement worth keeping or I'm missing out on something fun! We've spoken about it at length and she's happy for me to try new things with people but she's not interested in doing it herself. Is there some kind of stigma attached to married guys swinging on their own? I seem to have had a number of couples now who were interested at first but then as soon as I mention my wife doesn't swing...they bid me farewell. Any tips? Is my profile reading clearly? All help and advice appreciated x
Hello welcome to fabs! Yes your profile reads clearly. I am not sure why the couple you spoke to was so focused on your wife participating, you're on a single profile not a couples one. Yes there are plenty swingers who will not consider married men, but others who don't care. Some swingers take a dim view on cheating, and the problem is that even though a married person may claim they are in an open relationship, it is not easy to confirm this. This aside, the swinging world is extremely competitive for single men in general. Your lack of accommodation especially will work against you in many cases.
Is it worth keeping the achievement of only having been with two... Is chastity a valuable element of your self-understanding? Personally I think pursuing your sexual expression is a worthy endeavour (though I would say that, wouldn't I!)... For some this means more sexual experiences with the same partner, for others it means more partners, sometime at the same time! It's not about missing out, but it is about living more."I like this reply. I can't accommodate literally due to having kids around so I can only keep on keeping on! I'd love a broader sexual adventure definitely! | |||
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"Have you tried the club scene? There are a few clubs around the north west, and some aren't extortionate for single guys. " I think this may be the best way. Late nights wouldn't be an issue. I was thinking of trying to find a 'club buddy' is that something people do?? | |||
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"I'm assuming you and your wife have thought this through and you've made the decision that this is want you want, what she wants for you. I think it's a big ask for your wife to be expected to confirm the situation, asorgers have suggested she does. I give my husband freedom to play independently of me, but under no circumstances would I be prepared to telephone others to say that I'm happy for him to do this. Too embarrassing. People will either believe you or they won't. Our experience of married men is that they are more reliable and more willing to plan ahead. The flip side can br that married men are more restricted in their playtime, and we would want someone who is available when we are. Would you consider accommodating in a hotel to increase your options? And of course there are clubs, but that would involve a late night, so depends how your wife feels about that. Mrs " Accommodating in a hotel might work it's just the cost that may be a factor. In all honesty, my wife would probably cringe at the verification thing and I like to meet people based on trust. Seems like a challenge these days... | |||
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"I'm assuming you and your wife have thought this through and you've made the decision that this is want you want, what she wants for you. I think it's a big ask for your wife to be expected to confirm the situation, asorgers have suggested she does. I give my husband freedom to play independently of me, but under no circumstances would I be prepared to telephone others to say that I'm happy for him to do this. Too embarrassing. People will either believe you or they won't. Our experience of married men is that they are more reliable and more willing to plan ahead. The flip side can br that married men are more restricted in their playtime, and we would want someone who is available when we are. Would you consider accommodating in a hotel to increase your options? And of course there are clubs, but that would involve a late night, so depends how your wife feels about that. Mrs Accommodating in a hotel might work it's just the cost that may be a factor. In all honesty, my wife would probably cringe at the verification thing and I like to meet people based on trust. Seems like a challenge these days..." No reason why you can't split the cost. It's just good to have alternative options. We personally never mind accommodating, buts it's a bit irritating when some men just expect us to sort it out. Show that you are proactive. Mrs | |||
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"Have you tried the club scene? There are a few clubs around the north west, and some aren't extortionate for single guys. I think this may be the best way. Late nights wouldn't be an issue. I was thinking of trying to find a 'club buddy' is that something people do??" Possibly. We often take one of our playmates with us to clubs, But initially you'll probably have to bite the bullet until you have built up connections. | |||
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"I'm assuming you and your wife have thought this through and you've made the decision that this is want you want, what she wants for you. I think it's a big ask for your wife to be expected to confirm the situation, asorgers have suggested she does. I give my husband freedom to play independently of me, but under no circumstances would I be prepared to telephone others to say that I'm happy for him to do this. Too embarrassing. People will either believe you or they won't. Our experience of married men is that they are more reliable and more willing to plan ahead. The flip side can br that married men are more restricted in their playtime, and we would want someone who is available when we are. Would you consider accommodating in a hotel to increase your options? And of course there are clubs, but that would involve a late night, so depends how your wife feels about that. Mrs Accommodating in a hotel might work it's just the cost that may be a factor. In all honesty, my wife would probably cringe at the verification thing and I like to meet people based on trust. Seems like a challenge these days... No reason why you can't split the cost. It's just good to have alternative options. We personally never mind accommodating, buts it's a bit irritating when some men just expect us to sort it out. Show that you are proactive. Mrs" That's a great tip I never even considered that | |||
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"If it's about exploration, then does that have to take place with someone else? No criticism of what you guys decide, just wondered. Quantity definitely doesn't always mean better though. But so long as your other half is genuinely ok with it (or, won't throw a wobble after) or if this is important enough to you to take the chance then fair play. As for getting to know/meet people.. it's far simpler than men seem to thing: Just don't be a dick or talk graphically from the off and be normal.. make conversation, don't force it and don't expect owt. " Nice advice although normal is something I've struggled with all my life  I'm an honest gentleman though and was raised as such. I also got a thick ear for even considering lying about anything. Some have said I'm too honest, I say it's the best policy. X | |||
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"If it's about exploration, then does that have to take place with someone else? No criticism of what you guys decide, just wondered. Quantity definitely doesn't always mean better though. But so long as your other half is genuinely ok with it (or, won't throw a wobble after) or if this is important enough to you to take the chance then fair play. As for getting to know/meet people.. it's far simpler than men seem to thing: Just don't be a dick or talk graphically from the off and be normal.. make conversation, don't force it and don't expect owt. Nice advice although normal is something I've struggled with all my life I'm an honest gentleman though and was raised as such. I also got a thick ear for even considering lying about anything. Some have said I'm too honest, I say it's the best policy. X"Normal is a very relative term lol | |||
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"I'd be concerned for your marriage. There's a good chance she's shagging other people and letting you do the same through guilt. " I must confess I don't really get the logic of the op either. It seems he's saying his wife's had sex with more people than him, he's got an issue with that which they've discussed in depth, so she's now happy to let him catch up on his quota via Fab. No indication they could have fun doing this together by swinging and going to clubs. And weird undertones of jealousy. It just sounds fishy imo. | |||
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"I'd be concerned for your marriage. There's a good chance she's shagging other people and letting you do the same through guilt. " No definitely not I can assure you of that. | |||
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"OP, I think you and me are in a similar boat. My wife has medical problems and she saw how miserable I was. She suggested this scene to me, she encouraged it and she understands it. I wouldn't dare ask her to verify it to others, like one said above, the shame she believes she is failing (complete lies btw) would eat her alive. Definitely be honest, explain why. Definitely clubs, It's scary at first but after a couple of visits you settle in, chat to guys with their problems, see some sexy ladies, maybe see some more. Very slightly maybe even partake. But like said above, expect nothing. Cupid's in swinton does an event on Tuesday mornings that is ideal for new people (me included) it's fairly cheap and single guy friendly. Bite the bullet and go alone, I did. Good luck, stay honest!" Yes! Honesty wins!! Thanks for this I'll go down the club's route, my wife will probably find the stories I have to tell interesting and maybe it'll persuade her to have a go?! | |||
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"I'd be concerned for your marriage. There's a good chance she's shagging other people and letting you do the same through guilt. I must confess I don't really get the logic of the op either. It seems he's saying his wife's had sex with more people than him, he's got an issue with that which they've discussed in depth, so she's now happy to let him catch up on his quota via Fab. No indication they could have fun doing this together by swinging and going to clubs. And weird undertones of jealousy. It just sounds fishy imo." Nothing fishy about it, she doesn't like her body at the moment, doesn't want sex as much as me, works shifts and we have young kids. Circumstances more than anything. | |||
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"I'd be concerned for your marriage. There's a good chance she's shagging other people and letting you do the same through guilt. I must confess I don't really get the logic of the op either. It seems he's saying his wife's had sex with more people than him, he's got an issue with that which they've discussed in depth, so she's now happy to let him catch up on his quota via Fab. No indication they could have fun doing this together by swinging and going to clubs. And weird undertones of jealousy. It just sounds fishy imo. Nothing fishy about it, she doesn't like her body at the moment, doesn't want sex as much as me, works shifts and we have young kids. Circumstances more than anything." Hmm Now I'm concerned for your marriage. I'd strongly advise you against going down this route. Playing around isn't going to do anything to help your partner's body image, libido, and general self worth. And the reasons you're giving for playing alone (so you can make up a quota or because your partner works shifts or "just circumstances") are frankly dreadful. If it's swinging you want to try that's something you should be tentatively trying together hand in hand. So my advice. Leave Fab. Talk to your partner about swinging. Then perhaps join again as a couple and with her full involvement and knowledge. Then go to a swinging club together and see how you both feel about it | |||
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"My wife has had quite a number of sexual partners before me however I've had only two sexual partners in 37 years. I'm not sure if this is an achievement worth keeping or I'm missing out on something fun! We've spoken about it at length and she's happy for me to try new things with people but she's not interested in doing it herself. Is there some kind of stigma attached to married guys swinging on their own? I seem to have had a number of couples now who were interested at first but then as soon as I mention my wife doesn't swing...they bid me farewell. Any tips? Is my profile reading clearly? All help and advice appreciated x"once a cheat labelled a cheat some won't care but many will best to keep it to yourself ,you'll be cheating either way in their eyes | |||
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"I'd be concerned for your marriage. There's a good chance she's shagging other people and letting you do the same through guilt. I must confess I don't really get the logic of the op either. It seems he's saying his wife's had sex with more people than him, he's got an issue with that which they've discussed in depth, so she's now happy to let him catch up on his quota via Fab. No indication they could have fun doing this together by swinging and going to clubs. And weird undertones of jealousy. It just sounds fishy imo. Nothing fishy about it, she doesn't like her body at the moment, doesn't want sex as much as me, works shifts and we have young kids. Circumstances more than anything. Hmm Now I'm concerned for your marriage. I'd strongly advise you against going down this route. Playing around isn't going to do anything to help your partner's body image, libido, and general self worth. And the reasons you're giving for playing alone (so you can make up a quota or because your partner works shifts or "just circumstances") are frankly dreadful. If it's swinging you want to try that's something you should be tentatively trying together hand in hand. So my advice. Leave Fab. Talk to your partner about swinging. Then perhaps join again as a couple and with her full involvement and knowledge. Then go to a swinging club together and see how you both feel about it " There's no need to be concerned about our marriage I wasn't asking advice about that. Thanks for the concern though. | |||
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"Back to profile advice then... your profile makes it seem like you're not cheating but are on here with your partner's full knowledge and consent. The more you talk, however, the more it feels like you probably are cheating and she is probably unaware you're on Fab actively seeking sexual liaisons without her and almost certainly hasn't read this thread where you have told us intimate things about her that would probably upset her to read. So the advice? Don't lie. If you're cheating just say you're cheating. There'll still be people who want to meet a cheat but almost no one wants to meet someone who's already lying to them to try and get in their knickers. I also have no problem with cheats. It's their life and they're adults. But I do have a problem with guys who pretend they're either single or have their partners consent when they're neither as they are tossers who mess it up for the rest of the honest guys on here and often end up screwing lots of people's heads up. So man up. If you're cheating just own it and take personal responsibility for it. If you're not cheating show your wife this thread and tell us what she thinks about what you're doing. Why aren't you including her in this super important and highly risky journey? I think this post responds to the op on many levels " Hold on right there. Let me be implicitly clear about this. My wife doesn't want to be involved because she currently has issues with her self confidence and a lower interest in sex. She is FULLY aware of my activities and I regularly show her messages and tell her about the people I have met online. I'm not sure which part of 'doesn't want to be involved' is unclear? Not once have I lied and if you'd read my other replies perhaps you wouldn't have been so accusing and disrespectful. I came here for tips and advice not a grilling. | |||
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"Back to profile advice then... your profile makes it seem like you're not cheating but are on here with your partner's full knowledge and consent. The more you talk, however, the more it feels like you probably are cheating and she is probably unaware you're on Fab actively seeking sexual liaisons without her and almost certainly hasn't read this thread where you have told us intimate things about her that would probably upset her to read. So the advice? Don't lie. If you're cheating just say you're cheating. There'll still be people who want to meet a cheat but almost no one wants to meet someone who's already lying to them to try and get in their knickers. I also have no problem with cheats. It's their life and they're adults. But I do have a problem with guys who pretend they're either single or have their partners consent when they're neither as they are tossers who mess it up for the rest of the honest guys on here and often end up screwing lots of people's heads up. So man up. If you're cheating just own it and take personal responsibility for it. If you're not cheating show your wife this thread and tell us what she thinks about what you're doing. Why aren't you including her in this super important and highly risky journey? I think this post responds to the op on many levels Hold on right there. Let me be implicitly clear about this. My wife doesn't want to be involved because she currently has issues with her self confidence and a lower interest in sex. She is FULLY aware of my activities and I regularly show her messages and tell her about the people I have met online. I'm not sure which part of 'doesn't want to be involved' is unclear? Not once have I lied and if you'd read my other replies perhaps you wouldn't have been so accusing and disrespectful. I came here for tips and advice not a grilling." Biggest tip is it's a car crash that no woman is really gonna want to touch. | |||
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"I came here for tips and advice not a grilling. Biggest tip is it's a car crash that no woman is really gonna want to touch. " I'm sorry dude but I'm only giving you honest feedback. The only people I've ever come across on Fab who are happy to add to their partner's low self esteem by playing away are cheaters who no longer care for their partner.
All I know is if my partner suffered from low self esteem the last thing I'd do is play away, regardless of whether she consented to it. The biggest tip I'll give you is that swinging should compliment a relationship, not corrode it. What you're setting up seems highly corrosive. So as a human being I'm honestly suggesting you should back off and rethink about either doing it later when your partner is back on her feet, or find a way to do what you want with her so that it compliments your relationship and helps build her self esteem. If you don't want to hear that advice then so be it. But I wouldn't be human if I didn't give it. | |||
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"I came here for tips and advice not a grilling. Biggest tip is it's a car crash that no woman is really gonna want to touch. I'm sorry dude but I'm only giving you honest feedback. The only people I've ever come across on Fab who are happy to add to their partner's low self esteem by playing away are cheaters who no longer care for their partner.
All I know is if my partner suffered from low self esteem the last thing I'd do is play away, regardless of whether she consented to it. The biggest tip I'll give you is that swinging should compliment a relationship, not corrode it. What you're setting up seems highly corrosive. So as a human being I'm honestly suggesting you should back off and rethink about either doing it later when your partner is back on her feet, or find a way to do what you want with her so that it compliments your relationship and helps build her self esteem. If you don't want to hear that advice then so be it. But I wouldn't be human if I didn't give it. "I hear ya man. X Cheers x | |||
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"I don't understand why when a guy says he is married, most ladies will just jump on him and start giving him a hard time, ladies have to understand that a guy can fuck a lady without any emotional attachment to her, infact he might not even like her, a lady cannot do same without feeling some kind of connection.This is why a guy can have many girlfriends no problem but once a lady starts doing same the emotions set in.However, I will not apply this rule to experienced female swingers, they seem to have overcome this problem due to experience(please note this swinging experience is not dependent on age) . So ladies stop worrying if a guy is married, if he is an experienced swinger, he can handle it professionally." Funnily enough it seems like some kind of unspoken rule that if you're a married man and want to swing but your partner doesn't you're 'cheating' but if you're a woman and want to do it...it's OK?! | |||
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"Personally, I'd keep things how they are if she's not really interested. The grass isn't always greener on the other side x That's a definite fear for me I have to admit. Maybe we just need more sex... :D" Id only ever been with my husband before i met someone off here... My good golly gosh! he was absolutely awful 
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"I don't understand why when a guy says he is married, most ladies will just jump on him and start giving him a hard time, ladies have to understand that a guy can fuck a lady without any emotional attachment to her, infact he might not even like her, a lady cannot do same without feeling some kind of connection.This is why a guy can have many girlfriends no problem but once a lady starts doing same the emotions set in.However, I will not apply this rule to experienced female swingers, they seem to have overcome this problem due to experience(please note this swinging experience is not dependent on age) . So ladies stop worrying if a guy is married, if he is an experienced swinger, he can handle it professionally. Funnily enough it seems like some kind of unspoken rule that if you're a married man and want to swing but your partner doesn't you're 'cheating' but if you're a woman and want to do it...it's OK?!" Ive brought this subject up many times. Yes it seems to be the case. | |||
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"I don't understand why when a guy says he is married, most ladies will just jump on him and start giving him a hard time, ladies have to understand that a guy can fuck a lady without any emotional attachment to her, infact he might not even like her, a lady cannot do same without feeling some kind of connection.This is why a guy can have many girlfriends no problem but once a lady starts doing same the emotions set in.However, I will not apply this rule to experienced female swingers, they seem to have overcome this problem due to experience(please note this swinging experience is not dependent on age) . So ladies stop worrying if a guy is married, if he is an experienced swinger, he can handle it professionally. Funnily enough it seems like some kind of unspoken rule that if you're a married man and want to swing but your partner doesn't you're 'cheating' but if you're a woman and want to do it...it's OK?! Ive brought this subject up many times. Yes it seems to be the case. " It doesn't make sense. Maybe it's locked into history perhaps? | |||
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