FabSwingers.com forum: Am I on the wrong site?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone. I'm looking for a bit of romance and seduction. It seems this site is more geared to just getting down and dirty... which is fine but just not what I'm looking for at this point. I love the soft sensual stuff, flirting and getting to know a woman, perhaps over a few meets, before enjoying some deeply erotic intimacy with her. Am I likely to find this in the swinging community or should I be using dating sites instead and letting women on there know I'm in an open relationship and playing with consent? Thanks for any advice

p.s this isn't a "give me profile advice", "look at me" or "I'm getting no action" thread. It's really only about whether I'm theoretically looking in the right place for what I'm seeking. Thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the word 'romance' kind of suggests a dating site, but not sure why a person in an open relationship, seeks romance to be honest. Not a pop at you, just my thought

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By *norksterMan
over a year ago

Darlington and beyond

There's all sorts on here, but there are some real diamonds who are very special, so bound to be more..

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By *rish_And_BlondieCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool and Ireland

I would definitely suggest a dating site.. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's all sorts on here, but there are some real diamonds who are very special, so bound to be more.."

Answer the question man. Is he on the right site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Def suggest Dating sites

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By *lice400Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

Emmm problem is dating sites most women on there want single people not attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Romance is a dirty word here,well usually ..but wait a while and someone will tell you a long story about how they met the love of there life here just to confuse you ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure why you are looking for romance whilst in an 'open relationship' but that would probably put a lot of women off...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure why you are looking for romance whilst in an 'open relationship' but that would probably put a lot of women off..."

Best just get your partner involved and get swinging...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure why you are looking for romance whilst in an 'open relationship' but that would probably put a lot of women off..."

yes,very confusing...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've seen a lot of women saying they want what you're after. I think you need to be careful that both parties are very clear on intentions though.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i get why you'd want romance despite being in an open relationship. you enjoy multiple partners and don't wanna do the crappy treat us likes prostitutes thing?

yeah loads of women want something like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Emmm problem is dating sites most women on there want single people not attached. "

I've never found that to be a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone. I'm looking for a bit of romance and seduction. It seems this site is more geared to just getting down and dirty... which is fine but just not what I'm looking for at this point. I love the soft sensual stuff, flirting and getting to know a woman, perhaps over a few meets, before enjoying some deeply erotic intimacy with her. Am I likely to find this in the swinging community or should I be using dating sites instead and letting women on there know I'm in an open relationship and playing with consent? Thanks for any advice

p.s this isn't a "give me profile advice", "look at me" or "I'm getting no action" thread. It's really only about whether I'm theoretically looking in the right place for what I'm seeking. Thanks x"

I think u are put the computer down n get out to a pub meet real life people love finds u when u aren't looking for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are plenty ladies on here looking for romance and sensual stuff. Most that I know however aren't looking for a poly relationship.

I like the sensual side of swinging and been in poly relationships. It works for me. It could well work for others, so don't give up hope x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. Yes it seems the word "romance" really go against the grain of this site, which is why I used it. I don't mean that I'm looking for love or a partner. I already have that. I may be poly but it's not really like I'm looking for that either, although I am open to it if it happens. Instead, as one poster suggested, I'm just looking for more emotionally connecting sex, playing out having an affair, something with spark and passion that builds over several meets, but which ultimately both parties are aware is either just a sexual friendship or a kinky game of sorts, and so there's still a degree of compartmentalising and being sensible with it.

I worry that what women come on here for is just cock or pussy and there seems to be no patience to date and form some kind of context with people. I don't have a problem with this. But it would mean I'm looking in the wrong place for what I'm after. It seems likely that women on certain adult dating sites may be seeking something more emotionally connecting like an affair and I could tune into that, although for me it would obviously be just pretend as I'd be telling my partner everything and getting her consent. I guess it may be quite confusing for a woman I'm having an affair with if I suddenly suggest we go back and have a threesome with my partner... not the way these things usually play out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging can involve open relationships. This site is fine to look, I don't think women on dating sites would understand. -Even less than some women on here understand open relationships!

Maybe see if there's poly dating sites?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you would need to be very sure that any woman you met under those conditions absolutely understood the terms you were meeting under. Lots of women find it difficult to separate sex from emotions and there's potential in this set up for hurt feelings.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

p.s this isn't a "give me profile advice", "look at me" or "I'm getting no action" thread. It's really only about whether I'm theoretically looking in the right place for what I'm seeking. Thanks x"

You're on the wrong site try dating ones!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman who's married and in a similar situation to you could work really well. I'd think a relationship with a woman from regular dating site could get tricky.

I can't get my head around it personally, but hey, I'm not a swinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man on swinging site looking for swinger. People say he should be on a dating site. You can't make this shit up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

p.s this isn't a "give me profile advice", "look at me" or "I'm getting no action" thread. It's really only about whether I'm theoretically looking in the right place for what I'm seeking. Thanks x"

Dur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the basis that you are in an open relationship I don't believe a dating site would work. My husband tried it for a while with my encouragement, but it caused a lot of offence to women who were interested despite him being honest. Also I see that you are interested in meeting couples - well you can't meet a couple for play on a dating site! I do sympathise, because I too pursue more romantic relationships compared to most married women who swing as a couple. I have however managed to find that with a new meet of men via Fab. I suspect if I sought that via a dating site, men would expect exclusivity which I'm not prepared to do.

Mrs

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By *icky_tvLondonTV/TS
over a year ago

london

Do try not to be discouraged from finding precisely what you're after here by the cold and clinical sorts that prevade, beware the monsters lol.

Happy fucking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the basis that you are in an open relationship I don't believe a dating site would work. My husband tried it for a while with my encouragement, but it caused a lot of offence to women who were interested despite him being honest. Also I see that you are interested in meeting couples - well you can't meet a couple for play on a dating site! I do sympathise, because I too pursue more romantic relationships compared to most married women who swing as a couple. I have however managed to find that with a new meet of men via Fab. I suspect if I sought that via a dating site, men would expect exclusivity which I'm not prepared to do.

Mrs"

I agree totally .. I'm in a similar situation .. for that moment in time .. it's romance .. lustful passionate and all consuming ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's so wonderful to hear from women seeking similar experiences. I think many people get into swinging because they have a kink for having sex with anonymous strangers. But it seems some, like me, are looking for something more poetic and connecting, an exploration of lust where it's the person, their sparkle and their spirit, we want to fuck and not just their body. I have no judgement about those on here for raw sex, and may even find such a thing a turn on with a couple. But ultimately I'm seeking something more emotional and, dare I say it, spiritual.

It seems "romance" is too controversial a word to use on this site. But perhaps talk of "connection" and of slowly building to a night of passion will help convey what I'm looking for without scaring too many people away. Thanks everyone. It's been a very heartening thread

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Mrs"

I just love this chic , I wish we were closer or could set up a meet, this is what swinging is about, a beautiful confident chic who knows what she wants xx

I understand the op and you would definitely find ladies like that here , but you have to watch and not fall in love cause the ladies here are very highly skilled in satisfying a man .

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

wrong site pal. this is for amount only not quality haha

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

What you describe sounds perfect to me OP. I've enjoyed that kind of thing with a few guys on here so it is possible to find people who are looking for similar. But I have to say, for me, they are few and far between!

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

The dating site for people looking for affairs sounds more your area x

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

I think the word romance is your sticking point and not necessarily the right word.

Passion connection chemistry seduction sensual work very well on this site.

Plus I may have missed it but are you looking for an exclusive partner as I know some want that or some want that but play as a couple or some want that type of fb but not exclusive.

Not necessarily wrong site but confusing words and what u truly want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The dating site for people looking for affairs sounds more your area x"

I don't think it's an affair the OP is looking for ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm easy about exclusivity. My kink isn't really promiscuity so I'd happily focus on one woman and explore erotic depths with her rather than widths. Having said that, however, the idea would be for us both to enjoy it until it felt like it was getting too heavy and then cool things off. So a good tonic for this would be to stop any exclusivity at that point.

As one woman who wrote to me said, it's not love, it's not a genuine affair, and yet it's not just sex divested of any emotional connection. So it's a bit difficult to put into words. After a bit of trial and error I've found sex without connection a little unsatisfying. I want a woman I'm with to want me, not just my body. So in a way it makes total sense, at least to me it does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts are not so much the difficulty of you finding a woman who would want this but how much you are willing to give that woman?

Are you intending for your existing partner to be the primary person, how will your time be shared with each and whilst you say you are wanting that person to want you, how much are you willing to give romantically/relationship wise to that woman.

If each is fully aware and sensible then the relationship line should not be blared. The fact you say exclusivity would stop should that happen makes me wonder will you do the giving only to the point that suits you but want more, then call it quits when it suits you.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

p.s this isn't a "give me profile advice", "look at me" or "I'm getting no action" thread. It's really only about whether I'm theoretically looking in the right place for what I'm seeking. Thanks x"

You're on the wrong site. You know this.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

There's all sorts on here you may find what you want

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By *rish_And_BlondieCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool and Ireland

Stick it out OP! I'm a firm believer in good things coming to those who wait. You seem to be a very lovely, genuine man who clearly knows what he's on here for compared with a lot of single men. And posting this on the forums will have hopefully gained you some respect for that. Fingers crossed for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The fact you say exclusivity would stop should that happen makes me wonder will you do the giving only to the point that suits you but want more, then call it quits when it suits you. "

I think it's only fair that if either of us feel it's getting too heavy we can call it off or chill it out. I don't know if or when this would happen. We might find we dive into scary depths after only one weekend and one of us wants to quit. Or it may just bubble along nicely, with us both happy to keep it in a box.

Yes, you're right, it could be me that calls time on it. But it could equally be her. We'd both have to go into it knowing that this is simply the way it is if you want to experience more connecting sex without it turning your life upside down. It's play, connecting lust fuelled play. But it's just play nonetheless and it has to be kept in that box.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stick it out OP! I'm a firm believer in good things coming to those who wait. You seem to be a very lovely, genuine man who clearly knows what he's on here for compared with a lot of single men. And posting this on the forums will have hopefully gained you some respect for that. Fingers crossed for you

I would say flattery will get you everywhere but, on this site, I think you already know that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact you say exclusivity would stop should that happen makes me wonder will you do the giving only to the point that suits you but want more, then call it quits when it suits you.

Have you just answered your own question here?

As in it is about play and not dating.

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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

Hang on a sec..

So i cant get my Tesco food shop done here? .... Aww

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Obviously you're on the wrong kind of site . Romance , dating etc.....

Yet you say you're in an open relationship , so finding what you desire won't be easy whatever site you're on .

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

You have a narrow potential target market. Female, has the ability to cope emotionally with a poly relationship, wants romance and sensuality but no feelings of commitment. I'd say there's someone there but I imagine they'd be hard to find on any site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We meet at a cafe and the attraction between us is clear. As we say our goodbyes I pull you close and look with a question. Your eyes say yes so I kiss you and then you run off. A few nights later we meet at a bar and soon we're kissing, except this time with more yearning and passion. We want somewhere more private but when we get out on the street you pull me into a club for a dance. On the crowded dance floor its easy for our fingers to wander unnoticed and soon we're both irresistibly wet. Whilst grinding behind you, I slip my fingers between your soaking wet lips then pull them out of your knickers and clearly lick your wetness off for you to see. Then that's it. You want me and I want you. We slip out into the dark alley behind the club and, with haste we fuck short and hard. It doesn't last long as we're both too turned on. But it's utterly delicious.

After that night I start to book hotels so we can spend the odd night together, entwined in each other's arms, sometimes fucking sometimes sleeping. It's a beautiful intimacy but always seems too short. Finally we book a weekend away somewhere romantic like Paris or Amsterdam, or a week away somewhere sunny like a Greek island. There finally we are the lovers we've been yearning to be; utterly there for each other in all ways. We can't keep our hands off each other. We have sex on the beach. We turn each other on secretly at the back of the bus. In a crowded bar you sit on my lap and no one, except perhaps the bar man who keeps looking our way, suspects that I've slipped inside you and you're ever so subtly gyrating on me. Over that wonderful holiday we fuck each other silly.

On our way back we agree it can't go any further without getting heavy. So it's time to bring it back to a more conventional swinging scenario. I invite you for dinner to meet my partner. She grills you over all the naughty things you've been doing with me and I can tell it's turning her on. I slip one hand between her thighs and the other between yours and find you both dripping wet. After a little additional teasing from me, my partner reaches over to you and gives you a massive snog. Then what I can only imagine to be a truly mind blowing threesome ensues, filled with passion and intrigue. After that I don't meet you so much but my partner does, with you both having a steamy lesbian fling together. Then, if you have a partner, perhaps it's time for my partner to meet him and go through everything we've gone through, before we finally bring it to a head with a wonderful healing foursome. Inadvertently, we've all become great friends and, to a degree, the raw lust has subsided. We're ready to just be friends. Maybe we'll have another threesome, foursome, or twosome. Or maybe we won't and we'll all move on to seeking out the same lust fuelled adventures with someone new.

Does that help explain what I'm looking for?

As much as I love my partner, it is impossible for us to be strangers again, to taste each other anew, to feel the trembling trepidation of exploring each other for the first time. But maybe, just maybe, if we can have this with someone else... when we return to each other we'll find ourselves strangers again and plunge once more into that delightful dance of first passion with each other again. And if so... maybe we could make that a regular thing

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Yes it's clear what you want. I think what many are saying to you, including me, is that finding that woman is going to be hard, although I'm sure she will exist. This is probably a good site to find it in terms of sexual freedom but you're asking more than just that. You want the blossom and passion of meeting someone new and then stop it in its tracks to take it to a swinging relationship including your partner.

Then I guess you'd need to rinse and repeat once that became familiar and mundane.

It's a big ask but certainly not impossible I'd think. V x

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

" On the crowded dance floor its easy for our fingers to wander unnoticed and soon we're both irresistibly wet. Whilst grinding behind you, I slip my fingers between your soaking wet lips then pull them out of your knickers and clearly lick your wetness off for you to see. "

'SEVEN'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We meet at a cafe and the attraction between us is clear. As we say our goodbyes I pull you close and look with a question. Your eyes say yes so I kiss you and then you run off. A few nights later we meet at a bar and soon we're kissing, except this time with more yearning and passion. We want somewhere more private but when we get out on the street you pull me into a club for a dance. On the crowded dance floor its easy for our fingers to wander unnoticed and soon we're both irresistibly wet. Whilst grinding behind you, I slip my fingers between your soaking wet lips then pull them out of your knickers and clearly lick your wetness off for you to see. Then that's it. You want me and I want you. We slip out into the dark alley behind the club and, with haste we fuck short and hard. It doesn't last long as we're both too turned on. But it's utterly delicious.

Does that help explain what I'm looking for?

Why not just put this on your profile and see......

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By *rish_And_BlondieCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool and Ireland

I think it's ideally most women's dream scenario....

Until she meets the wife.

Everything you've written is sublime, the ideal, but I worry that with that extreme level of intimacy will always come feelings. You've shared a deeper level of connection than merely sex. And to ask for a single girl to be taken and be showered with all that attention and devotion then to have to share it with the wife will be difficult.

You also have to remember that one day this single lady where everything is new and exciting will also become familiar.. there's only so long something stays new for. Then what happens to her?

I would suggest posting this on your profile and seeing what response you have.

I also have to add that swinging as a couple doesn't have to be just sex. We don't swing that way as a couple. We "couple date" - we are actually even going away next weekend for a hot tub log cabin weekend with our swinging friends.. we enjoy that level of intimiacy and connection with another couple... dating again really. So maybe suggest this to your wife? Then you could both explore this together and also achieve the dream scenario you so desperately desire.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks again for all the advice. I am taking it all in.

I don't think I'll use that story on my profile, though, as, like you said, it's very much the ideal and so is a little extreme. I wouldn't want to put people off. It may be, for example, that someone who wouldn't think of trying such a thing, after meeting me, feels comfortable trying at least some aspects of it. Me too. I may find 1 on 1 meets just allow more connection and intimacy, and so are more what I'm looking for without having to go to the lengths described. I sense that I can swing via Fab but do so in a passionate and soulful way that's fulfilling to me and those I meet, potentially bubbling up scenarios like those I described.

My partner and I will carry on swinging, and we too prefer to have double dates so I totally know where you're coming from. But we haven't yet found like minds so feel this separate approach may bear more fruit. Already, this first forum thread has spawned some wonderful private conversations with inspiring women who are definitely like minds xx

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