FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Men - Constructive criticism appreciated?

Jump to newest
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

.......i love being told what to do.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr"

My problem has been actually getting a man to listen to me! I have told them things before the meeting and in messages but to no avail. They tend to think that women are just whinging at them. When it comes to 'it' I think they get lost in the moment and relate back to form, to what they have maybe done in long term relationships with women they have been comfortable with. So I think maybe direction is better during the actual meeting, which is what I will do 'if' I ever meet another man, which at this point may be a long time as I'm kind of put off with the experiences I've had with men on here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Why aim this just at men?

When you meet someone new, if you don't guide them how will they know how to please?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Why aim this just at men?

When you meet someone new, if you don't guide them how will they know how to please? "

Its not hard is it? Us men know women all want the same thing. Hard n' fast surprise fisting! Job done..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why aim this just at men?

When you meet someone new, if you don't guide them how will they know how to please? "

Indeed. My wife and I both have a submissive streak when it comes to swinging. So direction is fine.

And we know how to push each others buttons. But how do we do that with others without some feedback?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no issue with it, personally I would prefer for you to just direct me during play rather than in a message.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *even inchesMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Better to be directed so everyone gets there pleasure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ralextacyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

As you say, it is new for you all. I think that for the pleasure of all to be given advice about what a partner likes and wants changed can only heighten the experiences of you all. Better having a mind blowing orgasm than one where it was'ok' but would have been better if...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's important to have good communication and talk about your preferences. I am presuming the reluctance is due to not wanting to offend so ensure your wording is right and all will be fine. If he like all of us men who enjoys to pleasure a woman and give her the best experience he can give he will be happy to receive verbal confirmation of when he is hitting the right notes. Communication is key...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would prefer feedback direction during play, an inkling as to what people enjoy prior to meeting is always good, not a blow by blow playbook but i would prefer to know in advance if there are things people like and want out of meeting rather than miss out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Constructive feedback is always to be welcomed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm lucky enough to get invited to play with a couple I'd want the experience to be all that they'd hope for.

I figure that I'm there to fulfil their fantasies and would hope for lots of communication before hand so I have a good idea about what they want and what they don't so things get off to a good and natural start.

Whether it's with a couple or a single lady, I'd rather get feedback/guidance as things are happening to make sure everyone is as happy as they can be.

Communication being key... maybe talk to your guy about this very issue? Ask him whether he'd be comfortable with more direction. I'm sure he will want to be as accommodating as possible!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Communication, communication, communication. If you want to get the best out of Fab, it shouldn't stop when you eventually meet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather have feedback or constructive criticism opposed to not having any feedback

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Communication, communication, communication. If you want to get the best out of Fab, it shouldn't stop when you eventually meet. "

This^

Communication should only get better!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any meet should involve ALL parties being on an equal footing and ALL parties should be open to feedback & ideas, maybe communicating with people finding out each other's wants & needs from a meet and mutually agreeing is far better than treating people like a trained animal as some do...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ogloomMan
over a year ago

Levens

Having played with couples before and loved it I think a little bit of guidance if you have things you do or definitely don't want is a great idea.

I'd suggest messaging him first with general things and if you feel you want to direct during play maybe let him know.

It can be very nervy as a single guy and anything that can relax him and put the boundaries in place that isn't going to put him off.

Once I took the risk of waking the husband up early in the morning as I rocked the bed and his wife. Fortunately for me it turned out mornings were his thing so he enjoyed watching. before joining in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not ask him before you start? Then ask him what he likes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r_BBW_LoverMan
over a year ago

Swindon

As others have already said, feedback is most welcome. How can I hope to improve if I don't know what worked and what didn't.

If you're cautious about giving feedback, make sure you also mention the positive things he did which you both enjoyed and you'd like him to continue doing, and don't just focus on the things you'd rather he stopped doing or did differently.

Personally I'd prefer to receive it via a message, but that might just be so I can think ahead about what to change. You have to be a bit careful with conveying tone, though. Keep it lightheaded - I think sending something along the lines of "How's My Driving?" would set the tone well and not come across as being critical or judgemental.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I would say feedback is good - each person is different.i tend to have a set routine I use, though if couple or female wants something different I wait for them mid flow. I do try to look for signs that they may want to try something different or a certain position is not working etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I would say feedback is good - each person is different.i tend to have a set routine I use, though if couple or female wants something different I wait for them mid flow. I do try to look for signs that they may want to try something different or a certain position is not working etc "

A set routine!! Exactly what I said previously! Maybe if we give the men a little treat when they do something good.....a choc drop or similar.....that's a good boy!!! Ha ha ha.?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication is the most important factor when it's comes to a meet. Knowing and understanding each other's wants and needs is the key to success. A friend of mine once said ," when receiving oral you should be like the weather channel... give constant updates!"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr"

Sex is not a quiet affair.

At least not with me it isn't!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think direction during the next meet is the way to go. Only if you can naturally weave it into a conversation would I otherwise mention it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Is it just me that likes to go with the flow. Some guys/gals I click with and some I don't.

Makes it that much of a turn on when without words you just click and have fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

"As others have already said, feedback is most welcome. How can I hope to improve if I don't know what worked and what didn't."

But its not always about improving but how the other person would like something done to them,

I was kissing someone once and they stopped me and said something on the lines of

"slow down and do it this way"

I did and they said

"See isn't that better"

To me it wasn't but a was more then happy to go along with her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

When your inviting a single man in for extra fun, its your night so direct.

Or prompt your partner to take the lead "where would you like him next?" Prompt the next part, pretty sure he will listen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I would welcome it as everybody likes things in a certain way and for me I would want her to have the best possible time and be pleasured as much as possible and if she likes it a certain way than I would rather do it that way to make sure she gets maximum pleasure from the evening .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr"

Love a woman whos confident enough to tell a man what she likes and how she likes it, all criticism is good criticism and the way i see it is how can you truly k ow what she likes if she doesn't tell you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

My opinion would be to find another soft swing guy before you meet him again. It sounds like you are going to try and mould him, so when your confidence grows you'll probably include full sex with this.

If you are new and open to soft swing, keep the guy as a contact but there is no point staying with one guy. You might as well see what others have to offer and become more confident and more vocal as a natural occurrence - rather than tying to train one single person into doing what you like. There could be some kung-fu out there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r_BBW_LoverMan
over a year ago

Swindon


""As others have already said, feedback is most welcome. How can I hope to improve if I don't know what worked and what didn't."

But its not always about improving but how the other person would like something done to them,

I was kissing someone once and they stopped me and said something on the lines of

"slow down and do it this way"

I did and they said

"See isn't that better"

To me it wasn't but a was more then happy to go along with her"

Good point. Hadn't considered that angle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks for all the responses so far people, it's been very illuminating

Just a couple of things...

Not sure if it's clear enough in the OP but it is very important to us that the guy gets what he wants out of a meet and we have said to him that if there is anything in particular he would like from a meet then to please let us know. We don't just see it as "our" night and that he should just be happy to be there and therefore should do what we ask, we very much see everyone as equal. We'd also be receptive to feedback/direction ourselves.

Also, we're not wanting him to make wholesale changes to what he does or 'mould' him, for the most part it's great, just to maybe make slight adjustments during foreplay that will make C respond in a much more 'enthusiastic' manner and respond more frequently if you get my drift

We'll definitely direct him more next time but i'm still in 2 minds about how to approach it to be honest. whether it's best to do it via message or during our next meet. Much to think about still but thanks again everyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"My opinion would be to find another soft swing guy before you meet him again. It sounds like you are going to try and mould him, so when your confidence grows you'll probably include full sex with this.

If you are new and open to soft swing, keep the guy as a contact but there is no point staying with one guy. You might as well see what others have to offer and become more confident and more vocal as a natural occurrence - rather than tying to train one single person into doing what you like. There could be some kung-fu out there. "

Some good points which I hadn't considered. whilst we are looking for repeat meets with the right people, we wouldn't limit ourselves to just one guy. Soft swapping again with a different person is definitely something to consider

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"My opinion would be to find another soft swing guy before you meet him again. It sounds like you are going to try and mould him, so when your confidence grows you'll probably include full sex with this.

If you are new and open to soft swing, keep the guy as a contact but there is no point staying with one guy. You might as well see what others have to offer and become more confident and more vocal as a natural occurrence - rather than tying to train one single person into doing what you like. There could be some kung-fu out there.

Some good points which I hadn't considered. whilst we are looking for repeat meets with the right people, we wouldn't limit ourselves to just one guy. Soft swapping again with a different person is definitely something to consider "

Nothing wrong with feedback, but messages can be received differently to intended. If you say something do it in person - an ow, an oooh all help when playing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op communication before during and after is good if there's an issue u need to be able and comfortable talking about it or next time may not happen or be enjoyable

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?


" When you meet someone new, if you don't guide them how will they know how to please? "

This has to be for all I would of thought, if you don't say how will they know?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"My opinion would be to find another soft swing guy before you meet him again. It sounds like you are going to try and mould him, so when your confidence grows you'll probably include full sex with this.

If you are new and open to soft swing, keep the guy as a contact but there is no point staying with one guy. You might as well see what others have to offer and become more confident and more vocal as a natural occurrence - rather than tying to train one single person into doing what you like. There could be some kung-fu out there. "

Why would they want to 'mould' him? If he is willing to please and the couple are the same then I say go for it until you are all bored with each other (which does happen). It is very difficult introducing/being the third person but communication in any form is good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When your inviting a single man in for extra fun, its your night so direct."

I disagree - we are not performing monkeys.


"Any meet should involve ALL parties being on an equal footing and ALL parties should be open to feedback & ideas, maybe communicating with people finding out each other's wants & needs from a meet and mutually agreeing is far better than treating people like a trained animal as some do... "

this

If something isnt working, I'm happy to ask for advice, to improve a technique etc. Feedback can be useful (often pleasurable) and is generally taken as a positive thing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *appychap20000Man
over a year ago

cannock

Definitely guide him. He will want to give as much pleasure as possible. (That's what I like to do)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"When your inviting a single man in for extra fun, its your night so direct.

I disagree - we are not performing monkeys.

I agree - some couples invite single men/single women in for their own fun, it is selfish. I've had at least two couples tell me they have contacted me to spice up 'their' sex life! I declined rather quickly and blocked!!!!

Any meet should involve ALL parties being on an equal footing and ALL parties should be open to feedback & ideas, maybe communicating with people finding out each other's wants & needs from a meet and mutually agreeing is far better than treating people like a trained animal as some do...

this

If something isnt working, I'm happy to ask for advice, to improve a technique etc. Feedback can be useful (often pleasurable) and is generally taken as a positive thing."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Definitely tell him. If he's a reasonable person he'll be glad you did. I've had constructive feedback in my time, and been happy to have it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ister-mischiefMan
over a year ago

Trafford

Everybody is different so if your meeting him again id say it would be good to give him some advise for next time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr"

It depends whether your wife wants to swing and enjoy new experiences or whether she simply wants to replicate what she already has.

If she is really into swinging we suggest she forgets the preconceived ideals about what she wants and immerse herself in what her new lover is doing. You mention she “found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her”, perhaps if she lets go and enjoys the experience she would be happy that things were done differently.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr"
I don't mind rather someone tell what they prefer or what to do. Instead of not telling me their not enjoying in a polite way .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

It depends whether your wife wants to swing and enjoy new experiences or whether she simply wants to replicate what she already has.

If she is really into swinging we suggest she forgets the preconceived ideals about what she wants and immerse herself in what her new lover is doing. You mention she “found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her”, perhaps if she lets go and enjoys the experience she would be happy that things were done differently.

"

Well, it's a threesome so she isn't really left alone with a new lover. What started us off on this adventure was me touching her the way she liked to be touched and then whispering words in her ear to the effect of "imagine another man here as well, touching you the way I am"... that would really set her imagination off as I continued talking about various other things this guy could do to her whilst we were fucking. So in a MFM situation to be touched by another the way she likes it wouldn't be the same as what she's getting at home. That extra set of hands, mouth, and cock should make it more intense, exciting, and intoxicating.

I have also said I want her to appreciate the differences between me and the other man, but in an MFM that's more his body, cock, even his hair. All those little differences should make it more exciting for her.

I'd agree with your point though if we were to head down the full swap route with another couple, which we haven't done yet but may well do. In this scenario it's not quite applicable though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Just to expand a little on my last post. It's more about the tempo we would like play to go at. We like foreplay and teasing to be VERY drawn out, and start off very soft and gentle. If I'm going at that pace but the other guy is a little bit too eager then I can't really stay at that pace, it doesn't work. If his touch is a little 'firm' shall we say, body parts get desensitised a bit quicker.

So yes, to be more specific its more about asking him to slow down without causing any offence.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to expand a little on my last post. It's more about the tempo we would like play to go at. We like foreplay and teasing to be VERY drawn out, and start off very soft and gentle. If I'm going at that pace but the other guy is a little bit too eager then I can't really stay at that pace, it doesn't work. If his touch is a little 'firm' shall we say, body parts get desensitised a bit quicker.

So yes, to be more specific its more about asking him to slow down without causing any offence."
be polite I am sure he will understand

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

It depends whether your wife wants to swing and enjoy new experiences or whether she simply wants to replicate what she already has.

If she is really into swinging we suggest she forgets the preconceived ideals about what she wants and immerse herself in what her new lover is doing. You mention she “found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her”, perhaps if she lets go and enjoys the experience she would be happy that things were done differently.

Well, it's a threesome so she isn't really left alone with a new lover. What started us off on this adventure was me touching her the way she liked to be touched and then whispering words in her ear to the effect of "imagine another man here as well, touching you the way I am"... that would really set her imagination off as I continued talking about various other things this guy could do to her whilst we were fucking. So in a MFM situation to be touched by another the way she likes it wouldn't be the same as what she's getting at home. That extra set of hands, mouth, and cock should make it more intense, exciting, and intoxicating.

I have also said I want her to appreciate the differences between me and the other man, but in an MFM that's more his body, cock, even his hair. All those little differences should make it more exciting for her.

I'd agree with your point though if we were to head down the full swap route with another couple, which we haven't done yet but may well do. In this scenario it's not quite applicable though."

I get the feeling this was your idea (the male). Are you wanting the other man to be involved to make you look better? I think you are getting far too technical here re 'firm touch' etc. For gods sake just all of you get down to it and have a damn good time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

It depends whether your wife wants to swing and enjoy new experiences or whether she simply wants to replicate what she already has.

If she is really into swinging we suggest she forgets the preconceived ideals about what she wants and immerse herself in what her new lover is doing. You mention she “found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her”, perhaps if she lets go and enjoys the experience she would be happy that things were done differently.

Well, it's a threesome so she isn't really left alone with a new lover. What started us off on this adventure was me touching her the way she liked to be touched and then whispering words in her ear to the effect of "imagine another man here as well, touching you the way I am"... that would really set her imagination off as I continued talking about various other things this guy could do to her whilst we were fucking. So in a MFM situation to be touched by another the way she likes it wouldn't be the same as what she's getting at home. That extra set of hands, mouth, and cock should make it more intense, exciting, and intoxicating.

I have also said I want her to appreciate the differences between me and the other man, but in an MFM that's more his body, cock, even his hair. All those little differences should make it more exciting for her.

I'd agree with your point though if we were to head down the full swap route with another couple, which we haven't done yet but may well do. In this scenario it's not quite applicable though.

I get the feeling this was your idea (the male). Are you wanting the other man to be involved to make you look better? I think you are getting far too technical here re 'firm touch' etc. For gods sake just all of you get down to it and have a damn good time "

Yes it's my idea. I don't regard myself as some kind of Casanova, my wife knows what she likes and I try my best to give it to her.

With regards to this 'making me look better' I think if you get into this lifestyle there's a high possibility that eventually you will meet someone that does something better than you so remaining monogamous would be better for me, i think, if I wanted to look good as a sexual performer (for want of a better phrase) in her eyes. Thankfully I'm not bothered about being her best lover, only in giving her the best experiences in life that I can.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ootballPaulMan
over a year ago

Manchester

directed during play definately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

She should have directed him on the spot and told him what she would like, there and then.

If you ask me as a person if I would be interested in this type of meet , my answer would be a very big no, if offered this type of meet I would turn it down with the speed of light lol. The reason is I believe in fair exchange , no robbery. It does not sound like the guy enjoyed anything from the meet and the meet sounds very one sided.

That aside, people seem to think singles on fabs are people without partners , this is not true , me and my girlfriend play single on fabs and at parties because we consider playing as a couple too slow for us and we didn't like it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I meet someone new for play, before we play I tend to be upfront that I expect them to tell me if something I am doing isn't working for them. Communication makes me a better lover.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"She should have directed him on the spot and told him what she would like, there and then.

If you ask me as a person if I would be interested in this type of meet , my answer would be a very big no, if offered this type of meet I would turn it down with the speed of light lol. The reason is I believe in fair exchange , no robbery. It does not sound like the guy enjoyed anything from the meet and the meet sounds very one sided.

That aside, people seem to think singles on fabs are people without partners , this is not true , me and my girlfriend play single on fabs and at parties because we consider playing as a couple too slow for us and we didn't like it."

You've clearly not read any of my posts properly then. It wasn't one sided and there was no 'robbery', whatever that means. It was everything but cock penetration (so oral, both giving and receiving was allowed) and, as i've stated twice during this thread, he was asked prior to the meet if there was anything in particular he wanted from the meet. Any guy that gets to spend is very much seen as an equal, and his pleasure is of utmost importance to us. It is always in the back of our minds as well that single men may have a partner but ultimately it's something we would never ask about.

Part of the excitement for us (especially her) is getting the other guy as aroused and excited as possible, and trust me, he got very aroused and excited and is very keen to meet again.

Anyway, we've decided on our course if action so I'm going to bow out of this thread.

Thanks for all your thoughts, it's much appreciated

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Direction and guidance in both directions is the best way to have a good session.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

OP has bowed out as some people have seen right through his intentions of the MMF.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *on and Tammy OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester


"OP has bowed out as some people have seen right through his intentions of the MMF. "

Wow

Good to see your negative experiences on here haven't made you bitter

And well done for explaining to everyone else why I left the thread, you clearly think they're not smart enough to understand that themselves.

Ever thought that maybe if your own manner and powers of communication were better you would have had more positive experiences? Just a thought. Ta ta.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"OP has bowed out as some people have seen right through his intentions of the MMF.

Wow

Good to see your negative experiences on here haven't made you bitter

And well done for explaining to everyone else why I left the thread, you clearly think they're not smart enough to understand that themselves.

Ever thought that maybe if your own manner and powers of communication were better you would have had more positive experiences? Just a thought. Ta ta."

Thanks for unwanted feedback OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Well, I read the post well and I understand it, that's not a natural swingers meet if someone is saying you can do this or do that but not this or that, we are not kids and we are not vanilla people.

Is that not too mechanical, if you are not a swinger please don't swing, if you don't fancy someone ,don't meet them , what is the point meeting them and putting all these rules one them, poor guy I wish he could meet my beautiful and hot girlfriend so she could give him a proper fuck and he would feel like a man and know what sweet pussy tastes like.

Most ladies, guys and couples became swingers because they want to be happy and free to fuck who they fancy without stress.

I became a single swinger because all the vanilla girls I was fucking wanted a relationship and were stressing me too much , they just could not accept that I was fucking other girls . So I just said to myself can I not find women who I can message and fuck regularly without the stress of a relationship and vice versa ? The rest is history as the saying goes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"OP has bowed out as some people have seen right through his intentions of the MMF.

Wow

Good to see your negative experiences on here haven't made you bitter

And well done for explaining to everyone else why I left the thread, you clearly think they're not smart enough to understand that themselves.

Ever thought that maybe if your own manner and powers of communication were better you would have had more positive experiences? Just a thought. Ta ta.

Thanks for unwanted feedback OP. "

Fuck - (Just to say I commented earlier on this thread too Bhubaysi) ... Do you see what I mean about negative comments?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob the builder2010Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

My problem has been actually getting a man to listen to me! I have told them things before the meeting and in messages but to no avail. They tend to think that women are just whinging at them. When it comes to 'it' I think they get lost in the moment and relate back to form, to what they have maybe done in long term relationships with women they have been comfortable with. So I think maybe direction is better during the actual meeting, which is what I will do 'if' I ever meet another man, which at this point may be a long time as I'm kind of put off with the experiences I've had with men on here."

Also start from the the beginning yeah all us lads love being told what to do! Also I've met one girl off this site so far. When to meet one last night and she never showed up which was a downer.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"OP has bowed out as some people have seen right through his intentions of the MMF.

Wow

Good to see your negative experiences on here haven't made you bitter

And well done for explaining to everyone else why I left the thread, you clearly think they're not smart enough to understand that themselves.

Ever thought that maybe if your own manner and powers of communication were better you would have had more positive experiences? Just a thought. Ta ta.

Thanks for unwanted feedback OP.

Fuck - (Just to say I commented earlier on this thread too Bhubaysi) ... Do you see what I mean about negative comments? "

You see them as negative comments but they aren't. I read the responses to OPs thread and made my own assumptions which is a natural human reaction. We are all allowed an opinion. I did say earlier, if you find it, that they should all just meet and have a damn good time. Personally I felt that OP was being too technical here re when to tell third person he was going wrong, how to tell him etc. He hardly knows the couple and is probably deep down freaked with the whole thing. It can never be easy when 'inviting' a third person into the equation! Maybe you should share your thoughts and advice OP on this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

My problem has been actually getting a man to listen to me! I have told them things before the meeting and in messages but to no avail. They tend to think that women are just whinging at them. When it comes to 'it' I think they get lost in the moment and relate back to form, to what they have maybe done in long term relationships with women they have been comfortable with. So I think maybe direction is better during the actual meeting, which is what I will do 'if' I ever meet another man, which at this point may be a long time as I'm kind of put off with the experiences I've had with men on here.

Also start from the the beginning yeah all us lads love being told what to do! Also I've met one girl off this site so far. When to meet one last night and she never showed up which was a downer. "

Oh no Bob that's terrible....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr"

I'm the same, I'd appreciate the direction.. whether before or during.

Realistically, as the new addition/outsider, anything that helpskeep things going in the right direction is good.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"We recently had our first MFM threesome with an attractive young gentlemen. It was incredibly exciting and loads of fun even though it was only soft swap (everything but cock penetration, oral and fingers were allowed) and we definitely want to meet this guy again and go full swap, we've spoken since the meet and he feels the same.

He did about as well under the circumstances as he could have given, that he doesn't know us well at all. C found him very sexy and enjoyed him touching her but her preference is for things to be done differently to the way he did them.

My question is do you single males out there mind a bit of feedback or direction? How would you feel about being given a bit of direction with regard to what to do with your hands or mouth?

If you are ok with feedback or direction would it bother you receiving it as a message prior to the meet or would you just rather be directed during play?

The guy in question is physically attractive, very easygoing and laid back so we don't want to risk pushing him away! Also, he did ask prior to the meet if there was anything on particular we would like him to do (as we did for him) so my instinct tells me he would be ok with it.

As a man who has been single I always appreciated open, honest communication, always took it on board, and found it always led to better sex. We're just wondering if others feel the same or would they be offended in any way.

Have any of you couples/single ladies have good/bad experiences of offering direction or feedback?

All thoughts and opinions gratefully received

Mr

I'm the same, I'd appreciate the direction.. whether before or during.

Realistically, as the new addition/outsider, anything that helpskeep things going in the right direction is good. "

So how would you like the constructive criticism? In a written message? In a social? Before you get down to it bearing in mind it may be a turn off if you are being told off for not doing something right previously? I'm very keen to know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob the builder2010Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Yeah i know was about 11pm I when out on the bike to meet. Just no show. ?? there no girls around Shrewsbury much. Mainly blocks ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Yeah i know was about 11pm I when out on the bike to meet. Just no show. ?? there no girls around Shrewsbury much. Mainly blocks ??"

That was a late night meet Bob. I think it is terrible when people don't show up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/04/17 21:35:04]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's not a huge problem. Much rather do it how she likes it .giving the lady pleasure is everything. If she is happy then job done. That's my pleasure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ob the builder2010Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Yeah i know was about 11pm I when out on the bike to meet. Just no show. ?? there no girls around Shrewsbury much. Mainly blocks ??

That was a late night meet Bob. I think it is terrible when people don't show up "
hey it was just random message pop through not long finished work. Throught hey why not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top