FabSwingers.com forum: Uncomfortable situations

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Sounds a bit weird that OP. Not putting anything on you but are you straight and were his veris bi? I have been meeting for too many years to remember and haven't had any issues. I did have one slight issue with a straight couple where the guy grabbed my cock. For some reason he spat his dummy and it ended quickly. His wife was as annoyed at him but that is the only instance in years of playing. There is supposed to be a difference between MMF and MFM but I haven't paid much attention to it and I think it is only reserved for people who explicitly want to pick up guys that make any bones about it.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

You can still report,do it!

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By *herbert fountainWoman
over a year ago

Hanley

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex"

This has happened to other men on here too. Sadly there are guys on here pretending to be women or couples. In future I would suggest steps to make sure who you are talking to before a meet. The signs are there once you learn to spot them. Better luck in future OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds very much like a single bloke trying to get it on with you and then have the woman not turn up at all,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex"

I'm so sorry that happened Alex. Are you ok?

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

You can still go to his profile and choose report from the drop down option despite being blocked

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex"

Like everyone has basically said, this IS sexual assault and NOT ok. No matter who does it and who they do it to.

The best advice I can think of is to have a social first. Even if it's a quick coffee. Some hotels have bars so that's usually a natural place to meet and flirt before going upstairs!

Hope you get things sorted OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah - I'd definitely report that profile- if anything to stop it happening to anyone else!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice everyone. It was a very uncomfortable situation. I'm usually quite good at spotting the fakers but he seemed pretty genuine (recent pics of both of them, a woman clearly lived at the house).

I hope I've never come across as pushy and having met this guy, I can see why it's something to be worried about.

As for reporting him, as I can't get on the profile due to being blocked, I can't report it through fab. If someone has a way around this I'd be grateful.

Alex

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

As for reporting him, as I can't get on the profile due to being blocked, I can't report it through fab. If someone has a way around this I'd be grateful.

Alex"

There is still a report button on a profile that has blocked you, you can't see the pic or wording of a block profile but the block and report buttons on the left in blue (full site, menu on the mobile)still work. Alternatively there is a report button on the messages they/he sent you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As for reporting him, as I can't get on the profile due to being blocked, I can't report it through fab. If someone has a way around this I'd be grateful.

Alex

Thanks Queen, that worked a treat, I'll feel better if I know there's a chance he won't get to do that to someone else

Alex x

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

hope you're ok also.

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By *obyn67Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

So glad you managed to get out safely. Hope you are okay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a horrible experience for you OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a similar situation a while ago, i was pretty much assaulted then blocked. I reported him but they did absolutely nothing, his profile's still going. I felt too stupid to go to the police... "hi i was meeting this complete stranger for sex, and well it didn't quite go as planned..." - I couldn't face it.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Thanks for the advice everyone. It was a very uncomfortable situation. I'm usually quite good at spotting the fakers but he seemed pretty genuine (recent pics of both of them, a woman clearly lived at the house).

I hope I've never come across as pushy and having met this guy, I can see why it's something to be worried about.

As for reporting him, as I can't get on the profile due to being blocked, I can't report it through fab. If someone has a way around this I'd be grateful.

Alex"

Was the profile well verified?

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By *obyn67Woman
over a year ago

Wonderland

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex

Like everyone has basically said, this IS sexual assault and NOT ok. No matter who does it and who they do it to.

The best advice I can think of is to have a social first. Even if it's a quick coffee. Some hotels have bars so that's usually a natural place to meet and flirt before going upstairs!

Hope you get things sorted OP. "

Very good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit weird isn't it. I guess there is always a risk of that happening at some point or another. But so far I have been lucky with the meets I've had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear these bad experiences - did you chat on the phone to her first O.P.? Must admit that we always insist on a chat just to make sure they are genuine. Your assault and comment about the Police was awful I would hope they would be more understanding.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex"

You can use the message report button to tell admin x

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex

Like everyone has basically said, this IS sexual assault and NOT ok. No matter who does it and who they do it to.

The best advice I can think of is to have a social first. Even if it's a quick coffee. Some hotels have bars so that's usually a natural place to meet and flirt before going upstairs!

Hope you get things sorted OP. "

OP this is very good advice. A social is really a must for this kind of situation. I hope you are ok.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I had a similar situation a while ago, i was pretty much assaulted then blocked. I reported him but they did absolutely nothing, his profile's still going. I felt too stupid to go to the police... "hi i was meeting this complete stranger for sex, and well it didn't quite go as planned..." - I couldn't face it. "

I think with the latest Grindr murders that attitude may well change.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your positive messages. I've had some great experiences swinging and I'll try not to let this stand in the way of me meeting more friends and having more fun in future. I'll take on board the comments about chatting or having more socials first though

Alex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Today I had the first really bad experience in all the years I've been swinging.

Arrived at an arranged MMF meet and was met by a very very pushy guy on his own, claiming that his partner would be arriving very soon and we should get started.

When I said I'd rather wait until everyone was there, he got very pushy, almost to the point of forcing himself on me.

I managed to get out of there and found that he had blocked me before I could report him to admin.

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it.

Alex"

Should of chinned him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it helps I met someone from Pof a few years back, he was a policeman and pretty attractive so I arranged meet. He was fine until he locked me in his house and proceeded to grope me even after I told him in no uncertain terms not to touch me and that I wanted to go home. It wasn't until I started screaming that he let me go.I regret not reporting the creep. But it happens on dating sites as well as swingers sites

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

Scary! Hope you're ok.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I hope I've never come across as pushy and having met this guy, I can see why it's something to be worried about.

As for reporting him, as I can't get on the profile due to being blocked, I can't report it through fab. If someone has a way around this I'd be grateful.

Alex

Was the profile well verified?"

No response from the OP, so I'm guessing that's a no then.

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

No veries is a big red flag for us, but doesn't necessarily mean they are fake, it just means we use other methods to check them out. I guess it works, we've never had a "no show" or other problems in over 9 years of swinging.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

At 6'5" I was expecting to read "After I put him down we had a chat about how Fab works".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope I've never come across as pushy and having met this guy, I can see why it's something to be worried about.

As for reporting him, as I can't get on the profile due to being blocked, I can't report it through fab. If someone has a way around this I'd be grateful.

Alex

Was the profile well verified?

No response from the OP, so I'm guessing that's a no then.

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

The guy in my case had an established profile with decent veris. It's one of the reasons I trusted him enough to meet him. You can take all the precautions but there are always going to be these kind of people about.

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

We always have socials before going forward to play meets. Anyone can be who they like online, but it's difficult to keep up the pretence in person.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There have been one or two similar reports over the years. There are also bicouples who complain that straight guys pretend to be bi or curious but have no intention of playing with the guy - so a mm starting point can sort some of the wood from the chaff. You may have been just under scrutiny for telling possible lies op or it was the female running late etc

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site! "

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you."

I did not say the site is responsible for my safety. What I'm saying is there are members of this site who are not safe to be around. Also people have fake veri's, I know that for a fact, people have told me that members they know have given them fake veri's so they can get meets. I have definitely learnt from my bad experience!!!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

The amount you seem to dislike men and their attitude toward sex, I wonder why you bother having an account at all.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

The amount you seem to dislike men and their attitude toward sex, I wonder why you bother having an account at all. "

I sometimes wonder that too Mr Cojones (or whatever you call yourself) but hey thanks for the unwanted feedback!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

The amount you seem to dislike men and their attitude toward sex, I wonder why you bother having an account at all.

I sometimes wonder that too Mr Cojones (or whatever you call yourself) but hey thanks for the unwanted feedback!

It is an observation of someone consistently posting negative comments about meets and how unattractive meeting is.

Unwanted feedback would be: it seems you have nothing positive to post and are using the site to put people off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why it is much safer to arrange first meets at a club.... I wouldn't ever turn up on someone's doorstep or have a stranger to my house - really unsafe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

But that's not the site's fault. Unsafe people exist on the internet and in real life. Everywhere.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

The amount you seem to dislike men and their attitude toward sex, I wonder why you bother having an account at all.

I sometimes wonder that too Mr Cojones (or whatever you call yourself) but hey thanks for the unwanted feedback!

It is an observation of someone consistently posting negative comments about meets and how unattractive meeting is.

Unwanted feedback would be: it seems you have nothing positive to post and are using the site to put people off. "

I'm replying to the threads regarding the experiences I've had from here. I do not appreciate you monitoring me on the forum.

I am certainly not putting anyone off the site, I'm using my own experiences to give constructive responses in the forums, that is allowed here my dear.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"I also had a situation with two men at Christmas, I don't want to go into details but it's given me a dim view of the safety of this site!

Why is this site responsible for your safety? That's up to you.

The amount you seem to dislike men and their attitude toward sex, I wonder why you bother having an account at all.

I sometimes wonder that too Mr Cojones (or whatever you call yourself) but hey thanks for the unwanted feedback!

It is an observation of someone consistently posting negative comments about meets and how unattractive meeting is.

Unwanted feedback would be: it seems you have nothing positive to post and are using the site to put people off.

I'm replying to the threads regarding the experiences I've had from here. I do not appreciate you monitoring me on the forum.

I am certainly not putting anyone off the site, I'm using my own experiences to give constructive responses in the forums, that is allowed here my dear."

Hah!

Monitoring you? We are replying to he same threads? Is this you striving for attention trying to be right but actually being wrong - because you are wrong here?

How many bad experiences have you had off the site? If you have had so many - why do you keep coming back? If you keep coming back, then it is as I say, only to put people off it.