FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

FFM First time.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all, we are pretty new to all this and finding meeting or chatting to anyone for long very hard. Lots of 'hello' and 'how are you' and then people seem to Disapear or just never reply again. I understand people have a type as do we, but why say hi etc and then just vanish. We do chat to one or two who are very nice but not had no meets yet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately that's just part of this weird place that is Fab.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Hi all, we are pretty new to all this and finding meeting or chatting to anyone for long very hard. Lots of 'hello' and 'how are you' and then people seem to Disapear or just never reply again. I understand people have a type as do we, but why say hi etc and then just vanish. We do chat to one or two who are very nice but not had no meets yet. "

Well it's probably about time to stop chatting and get on with it then

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guys on here experience this every day.... Welcome to Fab!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's a crazy site. Thousands saying they are looking for... but doubt most actually are. Lots of fake profiles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent


"The guys on here experience this every day.... Welcome to Fab! "

Haha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try going to an organised social near you. It's a good way to meet others in a non pressured environment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent


"It's a crazy site. Thousands saying they are looking for... but doubt most actually are. Lots of fake profiles. "

Yes works out for about a year ive been chatting to a 20yr old from Manchester on kik through fabs ...thats shes actually fake lol happens to often on here that either some waste your time or there really not on here to meet more frill seek on here . Frustrating isnt the word !!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's a crazy site. Thousands saying they are looking for... but doubt most actually are. Lots of fake profiles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Impossible when fake profiles or time wasters contact you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"Hi all, we are pretty new to all this and finding meeting or chatting to anyone for long very hard. Lots of 'hello' and 'how are you' and then people seem to Disapear or just never reply again. I understand people have a type as do we, but why say hi etc and then just vanish. We do chat to one or two who are very nice but not had no meets yet. "

We get winks and we return or message but we also get no follow up..wonder why wink in the first place if you aren't interested.

Finding Fabs can be a very clicky

site .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly you need to assume that everybody is a fake liar or fantisist unless they prove otherwise

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

What utter nonsense !

The big mistake so many make is to message and keep messaging people instead of getting out there and actually meeting up .

The fakes revel in messages ......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Mmm, we usually say hi etc and get a reply which says something like, "yes love your profile and would like to chat" sometimes they give us KIK name...then they maybe say a single word over the next week or two or disapear. So it's not nonsense at all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it's down to timing.

It may be a message is read but a considered reply isn't time for. Also how long til your meet, availability. I find that can peter things out cause people work and have childcare to sort.

I can't meet with little notice so some lovely people I've chatted to it just peters out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We never get that far as I said. If we ask a question such as "how has your day been" or whatever just to start chatting we never get a reply or maybe a one word reply which is useless really when trying to get to know the right person. All good though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

You should try a club as sometimes a guy might agree to you having a mff with his partner

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We wouldn't want to be with someone's partner whilst they watch, bit strange that for us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'd only meet people who are verified by meeting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a crazy site. Thousands saying they are looking for... but doubt most actually are. Lots of fake profiles. "

Welcome to the real world of fab.... enlightenment is the first step to understanding. There are thousands who like the fantasy but to make that step for whatever reason is beyond them. Take your time... chat a bit. I tend to give it two weeks as a rule of thumb .... not got to arranging a meet inside two weeks then it'll never happen. Move on and don't waste any more time. There are many many more. All the best and happy fabbing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"It's a crazy site. Thousands saying they are looking for... but doubt most actually are. Lots of fake profiles.

Welcome to the real world of fab.... enlightenment is the first step to understanding. There are thousands who like the fantasy but to make that step for whatever reason is beyond them. Take your time... chat a bit. I tend to give it two weeks as a rule of thumb .... not got to arranging a meet inside two weeks then it'll never happen. Move on and don't waste any more time. There are many many more. All the best and happy fabbing."

Well said

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bi lady will have a much larger pool of people to pick from - single blokes , single women and couple with a bi female . Are some people contacting you fakes and timewasters? Probably. But there are plenty of them who are not . The statement people always make to single guys is 'what makes you stand out from everyone else ' and I guess the same can be asked of those looking for a bi female

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a crazy site. Thousands saying they are looking for... but doubt most actually are. Lots of fake profiles.

Welcome to the real world of fab.... enlightenment is the first step to understanding. There are thousands who like the fantasy but to make that step for whatever reason is beyond them. Take your time... chat a bit. I tend to give it two weeks as a rule of thumb .... not got to arranging a meet inside two weeks then it'll never happen. Move on and don't waste any more time. There are many many more. All the best and happy fabbing.

Well said "

Hahahaha. .. I didn't expect that. I usually get the auto replies giving excuses as to why they're unable to arrange meets inside two weeks lok. Thank you for that vote of confidence. ..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Sadly you need to assume that everybody is a fake liar or fantisist unless they prove otherwise "

Spot on.

That's our standard position until they prove otherwise.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

From the perspective of meeting a woman for FFM, they will be contacted by lots and lots of couples here looking for the same thing who are meet verified as genuine, so you may find it hard to stand out amongst them.

It's worth getting along to a club or a social to help establish that you are real, which will help attract genuine people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, we are pretty new to all this and finding meeting or chatting to anyone for long very hard. Lots of 'hello' and 'how are you' and then people seem to Disapear or just never reply again. I understand people have a type as do we, but why say hi etc and then just vanish. We do chat to one or two who are very nice but not had no meets yet. "
we have the same problem had one play session from here but loads that seemed interested

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I'd certainly look to attend some local socials.

Also go to a club on a couple/single female nights ..

These give you f2f contact to start building conversation/contacts

As a single female sometimes I take time away from the site or just get caught up in life so don't have time to have big conversations.

It doesn't make me fake.

If I have /feel like meeting sometimes I go to someone in know will be what I want because it saves the hassle or because I don't want to have a disappointing night (on either side).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

See...we are just to trusting, we find a profile we like and contact that person, simple, honest and no BS.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"See...we are just to trusting, we find a profile we like and contact that person, simple, honest and no BS. "

Just like thousands of other couples. So you need to work on how to make yourselves stand out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Free ice cream?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's a start!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

Free icecream???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, we are pretty new to all this and finding meeting or chatting to anyone for long very hard. Lots of 'hello' and 'how are you' and then people seem to Disapear or just never reply again. I understand people have a type as do we, but why say hi etc and then just vanish. We do chat to one or two who are very nice but not had no meets yet. "

You messaged me 4 weeks ago and looked like I never replied.

I've looked at your profile and you look good... So I'm not sure why I didn't reply.. What kind of messages do u send

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Mmm, we usually say hi etc and get a reply which says something like, "yes love your profile and would like to chat" sometimes they give us KIK name...then they maybe say a single word over the next week or two or disapear. So it's not nonsense at all. "

Well here's the thing .

We have been in and off fab for six years now , and over that time we've met and had fun with something over fifty single bi females . What's more , they haven't ever been what we are exclusively looking for either . It just happens , and we still meet with a dozen or so now .

So when I say it's nonsense , it really is , because experience proves this . At the ends of the day , I'm probably the laziest and most inactive swinger ever , and since my primary pleasure comes from seeing my wife have fun , it's hardly my dashing good looks and propensity to offer guaranteed satisfaction is it ?

No , it's the fact that we get out and meet people , we don't waste time on email ping pong , and are completely honest and straightforward on what we offer . Give it a go , you may be surprised

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You could be onto something then. Thanks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"You could be onto something then. Thanks. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Usually short and sweet messages, hi and how are your etc, we figure if you like our profile you would reply, if not then you wouldn't. No point trying to be extra witty or saying something to help us stand out if you don't like our profile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire


"Usually short and sweet messages, hi and how are your etc, we figure if you like our profile you would reply, if not then you wouldn't. No point trying to be extra witty or saying something to help us stand out if you don't like our profile "

Because it a guy or couple a box full of

Hi how are you

Nah...

I'll scroll through till I find a message that catches my eye something different..read that ..read the profile

Still may be a no thanks BUT that message got them all the way to a reply.

The others. I may or may not get time to go through :/

So yes it actually is about making yourself stand out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

Mmmmmmm think id do lots of kisses to get your attention x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of messages to females are timewasters too. It's not just a thing male members have to endure.

As others have said, don't let it bother you. Move on, there's lots of other people.

If they are really genuine then a no pressured meet up for coffee shouldn't be an issue. Obviously when you're both free

Good luck xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exatooCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth/ Fuerteventura


"What utter nonsense !

The big mistake so many make is to message and keep messaging people instead of getting out there and actually meeting up .

The fakes revel in messages ......"

this... we don't have endless msgs on here, find mostly its fakes or people who don't meet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"What utter nonsense !

The big mistake so many make is to message and keep messaging people instead of getting out there and actually meeting up .

The fakes revel in messages ......

this... we don't have endless msgs on here, find mostly its fakes or people who don't meet "

Im glad we aren't the only ones who think like this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exatooCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth/ Fuerteventura


"What utter nonsense !

The big mistake so many make is to message and keep messaging people instead of getting out there and actually meeting up .

The fakes revel in messages ......

this... we don't have endless msgs on here, find mostly its fakes or people who don't meet

Im glad we aren't the only ones who think like this "

Yep, we're in the "prefer to meet than write endless essay messages"gang

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm from StHelens originally....happy to chat, but can't message you guys.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are the same. We are looking for a female and are having the same experiences. If they are any reliable women who would like to meet us please message us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

Im gagging for a mff

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire


"Im gagging for a mff "

So you're looking for two women then ? Best of luck fella

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville


"From the perspective of meeting a woman for FFM, they will be contacted by lots and lots of couples here looking for the same thing who are meet verified as genuine, so you may find it hard to stand out amongst them.

It's worth getting along to a club or a social to help establish that you are real, which will help attract genuine people."

This x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We're big proponents of the message ping pong here! We don't really get out that much but when we do, we like to know that we're meeting people who we share things in common with and who we could spend a weekend with without running out of things to chat about.

Not everyone's cup of cheese, granted, but being able to hold a solid text chin wag is a key trait for us in a prospective play mate.

Op - I'd offer the same advice to you as I have to single guys wondering why they can't get anywhere. Make your opening messages interesting. They don't have to be an essay but a 'hi how was your day' approach will be passed on by with all the others. If you can, try and flip it around. Message them with something interesting that's happened to you that ties in with something they've mentioned in their profile or in a forum reply. Or in one of their photos. Give them several open ended questions to answer. You may still get ignored by them but at least you will demonstrate that you can hold a conversation and that you have some depth

Oh and absolutely get out to clubs or socials! Brute force your way into conversations with people, whether they're you're type or not. Interested is interesting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be patient. I had my first ffm last night and it was amazing! Very last minute I met her for a drink. We hit it off straight away and went back to mine for the horniest time of my life! 3am her husband came to pick her up, and joined in!!! Omg!! My birthday presents "came" early!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Usually short and sweet messages, hi and how are your etc, we figure if you like our profile you would reply, if not then you wouldn't. No point trying to be extra witty or saying something to help us stand out if you don't like our profile "

That would be an instant delete. Get lots of messages like that so you would need to stand out. Why not at least try and impress with your first message? It's often the only chance you will get. It doesnt have to be war and peace but something better than hi how are you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

[Removed by poster at 07/05/17 19:38:34]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone


"Usually short and sweet messages, hi and how are your etc, we figure if you like our profile you would reply, if not then you wouldn't. No point trying to be extra witty or saying something to help us stand out if you don't like our profile

That would be an instant delete. Get lots of messages like that so you would need to stand out. Why not at least try and impress with your first message? It's often the only chance you will get. It doesnt have to be war and peace but something better than hi how are you.

We used to make an effort, now we be like "pffffft awright?" If we get a reply from a keen lady saying " yes i'm fine thanks, how are you guys xx" we be like "awright spose, mustn't gwumble ". C B A....all the way "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham

Why don't you suggest a phone call cut the crap text or face time each other to see if there's an attraction i for one do this more now as I like to keep the ball rolling a bit faster

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, we are pretty new to all this and finding meeting or chatting to anyone for long very hard. Lots of 'hello' and 'how are you' and then people seem to Disapear or just never reply again. I understand people have a type as do we, but why say hi etc and then just vanish. We do chat to one or two who are very nice but not had no meets yet. "

Were exactly the same..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)


"

We get winks and we return or message but we also get no follow up..wonder why wink in the first place if you aren't interested.

Finding Fabs can be a very clicky site ."

We have the same experience and agree whole-heartedly with the "cliquey" observation. One of the problems we find is that we will not just accept that we are simply "fresh meat" for the hardened core of this site. So we avoid them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

We get winks and we return or message but we also get no follow up..wonder why wink in the first place if you aren't interested.

Finding Fabs can be a very clicky site .

We have the same experience and agree whole-heartedly with the "cliquey" observation. One of the problems we find is that we will not just accept that we are simply "fresh meat" for the hardened core of this site. So we avoid them!"

The hardened core of this site! Wonder who they are? Can't see how it's possible on a site with thousands of members to have a clique, that's best left to clubs and parties.

People wink and then you wink back and sometimes nothing happens, just the way it is, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and start the conversation yourself x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)


"

The hardened core of this site! Wonder who they are? "

Hmmm! I wonder...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have exactly the same problem,including our old profile we have had 1 meet through fab the rest from clubs and social, we get loads of messages, flattering comments ect but all goes quiet or cancels at the last min (6 times so far) it can be frustrating but we accept that's the way it is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my first ffm last night while on holiday it was amazing cant wait to do it again xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

Ok lets see where this goes ....

Wanted/Needed

Two ladies 20-48 in London or South East Region .

You must be both be looking for a FFM experience .

Im willing to pay for hotel costs or happy to travel to one of your houses so this FFM can happen.

Please look at my profile then if you like what you see please get in touch

Fabs wheres fantasies come true

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried mmf ffm and fff but i was offered in clubs and friends

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had numerous FFM meets from fab, as the singlr bi-fems seem to be in high demand you do have to put some effort in to your approach, what can you offer amongst the many many couples looking for the same thing, we generally have Mrs P4K contact the girls so its clear this isnt a forced FFM from my part (Mr) and its a genuine desire from Mrs For a illicit indulgent female play date with equal desired input from both of us..

Hope this helps x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent


"Ok lets see where this goes ....

Wanted/Needed

Two ladies 20-48 in London or South East Region .

You must be both be looking for a FFM experience .

Im willing to pay for hotel costs or happy to travel to one of your houses so this FFM can happen.

Please look at my profile then if you like what you see please get in touch

Fabs wheres fantasies come true "

I live in hope ladies

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok lets see where this goes ....

Wanted/Needed

Two ladies 20-48 in London or South East Region .

You must be both be looking for a FFM experience .

Im willing to pay for hotel costs or happy to travel to one of your houses so this FFM can happen.

Please look at my profile then if you like what you see please get in touch

Fabs wheres fantasies come true "

And where threads are hijacked. Best to start your own thread.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent


"Ok lets see where this goes ....

Wanted/Needed

Two ladies 20-48 in London or South East Region .

You must be both be looking for a FFM experience .

Im willing to pay for hotel costs or happy to travel to one of your houses so this FFM can happen.

Please look at my profile then if you like what you see please get in touch

Fabs wheres fantasies come true

And where threads are hijacked. Best to start your own thread."

Thank you for the loverly advice xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top