FabSwingers.com forum: Letting People Down Nicely

By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

Hey all!

If someone doesn't find us attractive then I appreciate that feedback, I'm smart enough to know that not everybody fancies everyone and the couples meeting couples dynamic is hard work sometimes. However, recently, I tried to politely say "thanks but no thanks, you're not for us...." but was pushed on a reason why. I still tried to be as nice as possible but the messages were relentless asking why. In the end it made me cross so I was a bit brutal.

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx

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By *andi_shopWoman
over a year ago

rotherham

I get abuse when I say thanks but no thanks so I stick to deleting now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My usual reply is 'thanks for the message but you're not for me'. I'd appreciate the same back too.

I'll be honest, if they started badgering I'd probably just block them... The concept of randoms thinking they're owed something is a bit lost on me.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

Just say thanks but no thanks and leave it there. No need for further conversation.

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By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

"I get abuse when I say thanks but no thanks so I stick to deleting now "

Yeah, well that is what's happened to us, most people seem to be emotionally intelligent enough not to be offended by it but some...well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doesn't seem much point replying to the 'why not' messages....its a really stupid question, and an honest answer only invites rudeness...i think its more of a knee jerk response than the fact they actually want to know....also a lot of men seem to think that if they can keep your attention for a couple more minutes you'll see the error of your ways and be bowled over by their wit and charm..

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Hi op ,sometimes its easier to block after you get the first "why not" etc.I think it shows you made the right decision,if someone is that pushy online,doubt they would be respectful.

Miss

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By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

"My usual reply is 'thanks for the message but you're not for me'. I'd appreciate the same back too.

I'll be honest, if they started badgering I'd probably just block them... The concept of randoms thinking they're owed something is a bit lost on me."

We replied exactly that but didn't block and the next time I logged on...lots of messages. It made me see my arse if I'm honest

Next time the block button will be my friend!

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By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

"Hi op ,sometimes its easier to block after you get the first "why not" etc.I think it shows you made the right decision,if someone is that pushy online,doubt they would be respectful.

Miss"

Agreed! Absolutely block button next time, thank you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We never engage in that sort of conversation and if someone pushes we block.

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By *laskan lovers 1984Couple
over a year ago

West midlands

We reply sorry not for us

Happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My usual reply is 'thanks for the message but you're not for me'. I'd appreciate the same back too. "

This is generally our approach if someone has put some effort into messaging. I like to think we're well mannered, friendly people, and I always sign the reply 'all the best' even if we're not interested.

I don't usually feel obliged to enter into conversation any further than that, unless I'm asked a specific, constructive question, because I've found from experience that prolonging the conversation often just gets awkward...and sometimes nasty! It is quite bizarre how some people don't react well to a polite no thank you.

V x

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

If I have been told no thanks I normally block unless I know them wee from club scene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just say something like sorry we don't think we will be suitable and good luck in finding someone

Have never had any abuse so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this to...

After sending a polite " Thank you for your message but I'm not interested "

Then comes the... " Can you tell me why?! "

Do I say...

a) Because your an ugly mother f****r

b) You have a tiny penis

c) a and b

d) Because it's about choice!!

Please don't think for one minute I'm drop dead gorgeous... But we can't find everything we come across in life attractive..

We all have our own likes and dislikes and it drives me insane when people question my replies...

Right I shall now remove my ranty pants and go back to sitting in the corner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone *

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By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

"I get this to...

After sending a polite " Thank you for your message but I'm not interested "

Then comes the... " Can you tell me why?! "

Do I say...

a) Because your an ugly mother f****r

b) You have a tiny penis

c) a and b

d) Because it's about choice!!

Please don't think for one minute I'm drop dead gorgeous... But we can't find everything we come across in life attractive..

We all have our own likes and dislikes and it drives me insane when people question my replies...

Right I shall now remove my ranty pants and go back to sitting in the corner

B option made me laugh so much I snorted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My most regular reply message sent is "thank you, but you're not what I'm looking for". I can do polite. Though occasionally volume of message traffic leads to a sporadic "read the goddam profile, nugget" which is a little less polite of which I am a tad ashamed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get abuse when I say thanks but no thanks so I stick to deleting now "

Did you get it alot or by just a few? I'm genuinely interested. If it was alot I fear for the genuine guys here who struggle with sending carefully constructed messages.

I no long do as I found most just deleted. I rarely ask or initiate conversation. I respond only now. Being on the forum regularly I've found to be the most productive in getting meets. There are many women who read the forums but never interact on there who message saying the agreed or disagreed with comments which inevitable leads to conversation and often meets. That's been my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people who push for an answer as to why someone doesnt find them attractive is because they are morons!

Anyone with half an ounce of dignity will just accept the fact that someone just isnt interested in them and move on.

Who cares if someone doesnt fancy you ?

Some people will find you attractive and some people wont.

Simple as that !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always reply and say no thank you, I'm not meeting for now blah blah blah, or I see were not compatible as per profile...blah blah blah.

Always finish with its nothing personal and you sound lovely. There are 100s of men out there who fit you better. If you wish to chat I'm here.

That usually leaves it nice and I've many i still chat regularly with whom we both know well never meet.

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

"Hi op ,sometimes its easier to block after you get the first "why not" etc.I think it shows you made the right decision,if someone is that pushy online,doubt they would be respectful.

Miss"

So this don't let it get to the point you need to be brutal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you give reasons you get the oh but responses, because they want to change your mind. Better to reply then block.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

i did spend a week telling guys no thanks, mostly got good responses from that, then they would message me again thinking we'd previously spoken when all i'd done was reject them.

i figured it's best not to reply to anyone. had several rude messages from doing that but i just report and block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think it's hard to find a couple that you like both of them .But sometimes the nice ones stand out .

It quite difficult to find a man who catches my attention and I feel the urge to meet up.Everyone likes all things different. If not attracted to people I tell them honestly and generally say sorry I'm not your type , and if it's said too me, I'm never offended by it .It's best to be clear so not wasting time .some I enjoy just chatting too .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get this to...

After sending a polite " Thank you for your message but I'm not interested "

Then comes the... " Can you tell me why?! "

Do I say...

a) Because your an ugly mother f****r

b) You have a tiny penis

c) a and b

d) Because it's about choice!!

Please don't think for one minute I'm drop dead gorgeous... But we can't find everything we come across in life attractive..

We all have our own likes and dislikes and it drives me insane when people question my replies...

Right I shall now remove my ranty pants and go back to sitting in the corner

Go with C always lol

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I send 1 thanks but no thanks message, then ignore them.

Unless they start giving me shit, then I tell them exactly why I have no interest in meeting them, in a brutally honest way.

I'm sure they wished they hadn't kept asking

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By *edzyWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"doesn't seem much point replying to the 'why not' messages....its a really stupid question, and an honest answer only invites rudeness...i think its more of a knee jerk response than the fact they actually want to know....also a lot of men seem to think that if they can keep your attention for a couple more minutes you'll see the error of your ways and be bowled over by their wit and charm.."

This...

And why do guys want to chat after you say you're not interested? If their profile wasn't interesting enough how is chatting going to improve matters?

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

If I say 'You're not my type' they'll sometimes come back with 'what is your type'. Arrrhgghh. Not pushy guys that's for sure.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I just don't reply

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

I'll reply once to let them know polity & thank them for their message. Usually I get an "ok thanks for getting back to me" that's cool. If I get anything else I just don't reply. X

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By *EATHERLOVER02Man
over a year ago

manchester

Normally timewasters don't reply

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By *egs11ABCWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Ye I agree with u on that one. Even put in my profile if I don't reply I'm not interested. One guy sent a message dont see why u wd get abuse ur pics r lovely. Didn't answer do he sent back it's. Prob cos u don't answer messages u stuck up bitch. U can't bloody win!!!

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By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

Update to this; then we had KIk messages from a different woman who said they had passed our name on because we were nice, I smell catfish?! I mean, it could have been genuine but....

Has anyone else had this?

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I used to get that

Now I reply politely and block

So much easier!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi op ,sometimes its easier to block after you get the first "why not" etc.I think it shows you made the right decision,if someone is that pushy online,doubt they would be respectful.

Miss"

Could not agree more. We've been on here a little over a week, and had some proper pushy gits who seem to think they're owed something and expect us to justify why we don't wanna meet them... Sad, sad people. Does make you wonder what they'd be like in person!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I joined Fabs - I encountered the "instant delete" message, which, initially, seems brutal, until you learn the "rules" of Fabs & how much crap, ladies receive.

I then got some great "thanks but no thanks" messages, which turned into friends anyway.

Polite, knockbacks, when required, can be a positive. Equally, if someone feels entitled, and the sensed mood changes, brutal replies are deserved.....

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Update to this; then we had KIk messages from a different woman who said they had passed our name on because we were nice, I smell catfish?! I mean, it could have been genuine but....

Has anyone else had this?"

That sounds a bit worrying doesn't it? Any update?

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

I reply no thank.happy swinging.good luck.but one occasion chatting to male sent each other face pic he didn't reply he block me.rather had no thank reply.also sometimes say have patients in fab work someone for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer a note back saying no thanks but I understand why women just blank and/or delete when they must be under a deluge.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

cotswolds/herefordshire

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

Prefer an honest answer but understand that some people say that then still get funny (people are odd) so I always say to delete if you don't like - but then they don't always do that? And then your left wondering do they not like or are they waiting to reply? Lol

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"I get abuse when I say thanks but no thanks so I stick to deleting now "

Delete and block. I find no reason to reply with even a "no thanks" if he has been rude not to read my profile before sending me a message. I have no interest is a pudgy little man and if he had read my profile, he would know that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A simple no. A deleted message with no reply or even getting blocked is fine by me. If I. Am not for them it makes no difference why as I am not going to change who I am to get a meet

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

We just ignore messages we are not interested in. Most guys do a scattergun approach and send the same message to 67 profiles so we doubt they even notice the lack of reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some single guys we have to ignore depending on the message received. But with couples we are just 100% honest as to why we won't be asking to meet them, in as nice a way as possible. That's when we find out if our encounter with them was a "close shave"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate their efforts and try to give a nice friendly and supportive reply. I hardly ever get anything nasty back. I usually say something like "Get lost you deformed cretin and take that pathetic excuse for a penis and go fuck a drinking straw."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any message that starts "Thanks but..." is a message that fills anyone with dread. Is what's about to come going to be nice? Out and out abusive? A ham fisted attempt to be nice that leaves a bitter aftertaste? Or just plain ugly and uncomfortable? Nobody needs to feel that dread. So we only ever send out "no thanks" messages when we really feel we need to. All other times we simply don't reply and delete and we much prefer those who don't like us to do the same in return. It's simply the nicest way of dealing with that side of Fab.

I think it's only single men who get fed up with no replies and no reciprocation of face pics. But this is only because they send sooo many messages and get nothing back. So for them a "no thanks" is like a sign from a distant planet telling them they're not alone. For anyone else who gets messages "no thanks" messages are just uncomfortable and unnecessary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Unlike most men I find it best not to send messages, when my inbox glows with a message its like Christmas. Billy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I appreciate their efforts and try to give a nice friendly and supportive reply. I hardly ever get anything nasty back. I usually say something like "Get lost you deformed cretin and take that pathetic excuse for a penis and go fuck a drinking straw."

I know this is showing my age here but sometimes I just get the Reggie Perrin thing in my head when I think of you

You know the bit where whenever he thinks of mother in law a picture just wont get out of his head. arghhhhhhhh there it goes again. Bang.

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By *on and TammyCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

If someone has clearly read our profile and sent a considered message, but we're just not interested, then we will always send a polite message back and wish them all the best.

Never had an abusive message back or had anyone asking why we're not interested. Admittedly we're fairly new to this though.

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By *CPXMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

I'd always prefer one shot to the head than 6 to the chest.

If they haven't got the emotional maturity to accept that they might not be everyone's cup of tea then I'm certainly not getting naked with them and letting them become intimate with me and anyone else I happen to be bringing to the party.

You are not a special snowflake and nobody owes you sex just because you think you were nice to them.

Grow up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know this is showing my age here but sometimes I just get the Reggie Perrin thing in my head when I think of you

You know the bit where whenever he thinks of mother in law a picture just wont get out of his head. arghhhhhhhh there it goes again. Bang."

By the way I was just joining in the fun and that was not directed at anyone in particular. It's just the mother in law popped in my head. Arghhhhh there it goes again

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"Hi

I'd always prefer one shot to the head than 6 to the chest.

You are not a special snowflake and nobody owes you sex just because you think you were nice to them.

Grow up. "

"Special Snowflake". I'm so stealing that at passing it of as my own.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Ooooh good grief I cannot type, speak or spell.

Try that again

".... stealing that and passing it off as my own"

There now ... that all makes perfect sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't answer now and just block.

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By *CPXMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

You're welcome to it, and also my swear word of the day - 'fuck-knuckle'.

Dave is being annoying when Matt says, "Oi, Dave, quit being a fuck-knuckle!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always taken a deleted message as not interested

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By *airymagicWoman
over a year ago

goblin city

Gym fit isn't fat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always taken a deleted message as not interested

I tend to send a polite message explaining it's understood as that and reason for now blocking....to save each other's time in trying to recall in a few weeks or months time when they reappear in searches or local updates.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'm polite and do reply but rapidly getting fed up with why not etc then some turn nasty

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

If you've had the decency to say 'thanks but not for us' etc , then you should ignore any further pressing questions. It obviously can't turn out well for anybody.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

You need a very thick skin on this or any "dating" site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have read my profile, which is rare,and I do not find them to be for me I simply say so.unfortunately many don't like that and send nasty messages.so now I block .decent ppl should accept it and move on,I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol. I so like that. Really made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My most regular reply message sent is "thank you, but you're not what I'm looking for". I can do polite. Though occasionally volume of message traffic leads to a sporadic "read the goddam profile, nugget" which is a little less polite of which I am a tad ashamed. "

Lol. This so made me chuckle

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By *igJandTheBlonde OP Couple
over a year ago

Kings Hill

"Update to this; then we had KIk messages from a different woman who said they had passed our name on because we were nice, I smell catfish?! I mean, it could have been genuine but....

Has anyone else had this?

That sounds a bit worrying doesn't it? Any update?"

I just explained how they hadn't chatted long enough to decide if I was nice and said I didn't want to talk to a random, it was accepted x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honest is best..i had a meet and the lady was nothing like her pics

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By *ixedracemale77Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Frequently get the I'm not your type. Rather than bitch and moan I'm grateful of a response so normally just reply thanks, hope you find what you are looking for. Happy fabbing and leave it as that.

Clearly not everyone will find you attractive but just accept that rejection is part of life.

Manners go a long way, and after all this is a website but act like you would in the real world. Show respect get respect. Its that simple

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

When they start badgering for why it proves me right for saying no

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

" just reply thanks, hope you find what you are looking for. "

When I get that as a reply I think I found it, did you not see my veris!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Back on topic I say thank you but you're not my type.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

So hard. No one likes rejection. You need the thickest of skins on here. If you don't have one then the best thing to do is leave.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

And trying to change there minds smacks at desperation. Move on!

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By *rs slut n himCouple
over a year ago

dartford

Just put in your profile , if not our type we won't reply.... not got time to keep replying " no thanks", if your not happy with that ... don't message in first place...

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

If they have sent a pic as requested and we dont find them attractive we say thanks but not for us, Happy Swinging. Occasionally you get the one that calls us fake or stuck up but not very often. No pic we simply delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A thanks but no thanks works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi op ,sometimes its easier to block after you get the first "why not" etc.I think it shows you made the right decision,if someone is that pushy online,doubt they would be respectful.

Miss"

I now feel I have to block someone after receiving a

*why Not?* Message, as I've had bad experiences of abusive messages being sent by a guy who I politely refused, but he blocked me before messaging me with the abuse in 2 separate messages. I could do nothing!

Basically no one likes to be rejected, but some deal with it better than others!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"I get abuse when I say thanks but no thanks so I stick to deleting now "

I dont get abuse usually they nice enough and I do feel bad. If you reply you just let it hang on. They keep asking why etc. So I gave up answering too.

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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago

North Devon-ish

Tell them lies, tell them sweet little lies,

or say "thanks for the message and the compliments, but it will be a sorry from me/us". (add that to your private notes tab if you are a site supporter),as they will message again in 6 days pretending they have just come across your profile.

If they throw themselves on the floor and arch their back, and demand to know why, just delete and block.

No matter how kind you will want to be, they will only reply with a torrent of abuse and block you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish they were polite here but most ante on here as they seem to judge everyone no matter if you are sexy or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get abuse when I say thanks but no thanks so I stick to deleting now "

I get it a lot I know I've asked before its sooo demoralising when the 10th girl in a row says same thing I know it makes me feel ugly as ****

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I wish they were polite here but most ante on here as they seem to judge everyone no matter if you are sexy or not

Of course everyone judges everyone. 'Sexy' is subjective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh I normaly don't get a resonse in this case. Which is a bit rubbish, being polite about it would be great, if only people would extend that courtesy to all. I thin you did it right, responded, tried to be polite, but if the other person is being a arse then I think you're well withing your right tp be as harsh as you want.

People are always gonna be arse holes unfortuntly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But aint no reply better then abuse back ? If was me i would have seen that msg was read deleted no reply back So thats my answer they dont wanna know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes but when that's happened literally a hundred times ya begin to think "is there something terrible in my profile I ain't noticed" stuff like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone pushes after being turned down, I'd say "this is why I turned you down, my instincts told me you had no respect for the boundaries of others".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes but when that's happened literally a hundred times ya begin to think "is there something terrible in my profile I ain't noticed" stuff like that "

Men aren't in short supply here, it's most likely no reflection on you at all. Try not to take it personally, just accept and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes but when that's happened literally a hundred times ya begin to think "is there something terrible in my profile I ain't noticed" stuff like that

Men aren't in short supply here, it's most likely no reflection on you at all. Try not to take it personally, just accept and move on."

Yeah I know what you mean

But it's still a massive kick in the bollox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attraction is a must for most and beauty is in the eye of the beholder but many beautiful people are as dull as ditch water so personality is a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Attraction is a must for most and beauty is in the eye of the beholder but many beautiful people are as dull as ditch water so personality is a bonus"

Good job I'm life nd soul

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By *antonkid1955Man
over a year ago

cardiff

You cannot please all of the people all of the time..someone will be offended by something,,and if you explain why you didn't click,,then the person will try to alter that reason,,and they may not click with someone else,,its an impossible situation,,just be yourself,,take it on the chin,move on,,simples really

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

I like to wind them up, then block them. It's just my way

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By *ayde BlanchardTV/TS
over a year ago

lancashire

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

Honesty is the best policy if someone chooses to be abusive because you won't meet them. Well it tells you everything about them. There are some really nice people on fab but you get the odd idiot.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Letting people down nicely is definitely the way to do things. Some take it on the chin, some throw their dummies out but unfortunately you get the odd freak that decides nearly 2 years on to start harassing you

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By *ods_Perfect_IdiotMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I find if they have put the time and effort into sayimg no thanks than move on, I sometimes say 'thank you' for it, least they bothered being polite.

One thing I find as well is, if you get deleted without a reply don't get down, if you like them and think they would like you. Hotlist them and send a bespoke message a few months later. Chances are they won't remember because couples and single women get so many messsges !! Situations change and people taste too, plus you might have a better pic or hit the right cord in the message! It's worked for me serval times now.

Just don't pester it be annoying, it's just rude !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate a not for me not self obsessed so don't worry why obviously people have varied tastes

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Tried that today just got crap for it so a simple no and block from now on i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tried that today just got crap for it so a simple no and block from now on i think"

This is good too heAr I thought I was getting blocked cos I'm ugly

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By *ayde BlanchardTV/TS
over a year ago

lancashire

Best way to deal with idiots. When they send you abuse. Copy and paste there message and send it back. Keep doing it eventually they become paranoid that there messaging themselves. It confuses the hell out of them. Nothing more satisfying than confusing an idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best way to deal with idiots. When they send you abuse. Copy and paste there message and send it back. Keep doing it eventually they become paranoid that there messaging themselves. It confuses the hell out of them. Nothing more satisfying than confusing an idiot."

Oh I like this!! Please may I pinch it?!

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By *ayde BlanchardTV/TS
over a year ago

lancashire

Use it works wonders last one I did it to left the site. I call that a major result

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Taste is subjective, so expecting an answer other than the above and no thanks is stupid. It's also pushy and inappropriate - I've blocked if they start some sort of game.

For those who wish to learn if they've done something that they could improve upon, it's different. I do occasionally state I dislike being treated certain ways, if they've done it. But once the interest has gone. I'm out of there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I see is my message deleted and its all i expect from experience. I dont worry about it why beat yourself up wondering why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just reply

"thanks for taking the time to reply"

Then play darts with one of there photos pinned to the dart board..

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By *aria_dreamgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

stockport

I agree entirely but some people can't take rejection.

Maria

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By *ayde BlanchardTV/TS
over a year ago

lancashire

True but some don't help themselves how much respect can you expect when there profile picture is of there arsecrack?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

I never ask. Just accept. Hardly any luck on here. If women find me plug ugly I really dont need my ego crushing. And if they want a bald bad boy with tattoos I aint that and never will be. Women have the choice and i accept im way down the list. Thats life. Why give grief asking?

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden

"If someone pushes after being turned down, I'd say "this is why I turned you down, my instincts told me you had no respect for the boundaries of others"."

Perfect reply

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By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"We never engage in that sort of conversation and if someone pushes we block. "

We are exactly the same.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

We were in New York recently and went to a club Bowery Bliss.

Met a nice looking guy at the bar who in the 10 minutes we chatted with him he asked us 11 times "so what have you come here for" got up and walked away.

Same thing on here some people feel they need an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes, the person or couple you're not initially attracted to can turn out to be a great fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer no reply.

Who cares really.

I mean if you need people on here to go to such lengths to make you feel crap about yourself. What is the point x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer no reply.

Who cares really.

I mean if you need people on here to go to such lengths to make you feel crap about yourself. What is the point x "
better to say thanks and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx

Just say thanks but no thanks and leave it there. No need for further conversation."

I agree. I don't think anyone has to justify their choices to anyone else. And I think if we are on this site we should respect that and move on.

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By *iss ACWoman
over a year ago

london

"I get this to...

After sending a polite " Thank you for your message but I'm not interested "

Then comes the... " Can you tell me why?! "

Do I say...

a) Because your an ugly mother f****r

b) You have a tiny penis

c) a and b

d) Because it's about choice!!

Please don't think for one minute I'm drop dead gorgeous... But we can't find everything we come across in life attractive..

We all have our own likes and dislikes and it drives me insane when people question my replies...

Right I shall now remove my ranty pants and go back to sitting in the corner

I think that last line is the best thing I have ever read in these forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really hate the presumptuous idiots who fire back with insults and saltiness when you turn their awesome offers down...

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By *esharepantiesCouple
over a year ago

stafford

I'm always polite...I say no thank you and then I'm not interested in their reply, if there is one. I don't usually approach people but if I did I wouldn't care if they blanked me, said no or were rude, they don't like and I'm already looking elsewhere. Pointless worrying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all adults surely we can handle a little bit of rejection!!

I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine, same for us all. I do feel fortunate as a woman I generally don't have to instigate messages but then do get stressed trying to politely reply to all messages. So now if they have put little or no effort into the message "Hi" "Hi babe" "Have you got more photos" or a clearly copy and paste message, they just get deleted, someone that makes a bit of effort in the message or profile I try to reply and say no thank you & happy fabbing.

I do struggle with the sense of entitlement I come across from some guys but then it's no different to meeting someone in a pub or club or pof or match everyone is different.

But then on the other hand lots of decent guys who are polite whether I have said no thank you.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I've never been approached by anyone first on fab whether that's a couple or a single lady but I think I'd send a personalised reply if they weren't for me but I'd imagine it's different for us guys as we'd never get so many that a personal reply would be difficult to send.

I'm guessing that for couples and single women it could be a full time job to reply to everyone with a personalised rejection.

I take no reply as a thanks but no thanks but a message saying no makes a nice change even though it's bad news

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was the male of the couple I'd say sorry the mrs isn't fussed and if I was the female I'd say sorry but the mr isn't fussed.

Being a single person I turn on my filters so I do the searching and messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are happy with a 'you're not for me/us' but recently sent face pics, they read the message, looked at our pics then just blocked us. Thought that was just rude. We've never been rude over the several years we've been on and off here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all!

but was pushed on a reason why. I still tried to be as nice as possible but the messages were relentless asking why. In the end it made me cross so I was a bit brutal.

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

I get this a lot too. We are dammed if we do and dammed if we don't I think x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone replies with a nasty comment after being turned down, just thank them for confirming you made the right decision. Then if need by, block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone replies with a nasty comment after being turned down, just thank them for confirming you made the right decision. Then if need by, block."

yes..just confirms it,i find it helpful

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Normally timewasters don't reply"

Unfortunately they do

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By *ogerNesszonesMan
over a year ago

Northern England

"We are happy with a 'you're not for me/us' but recently sent face pics, they read the message, looked at our pics then just blocked us. Thought that was just rude. We've never been rude over the several years we've been on and off here. "

Yes, I've had that happen too. Picture collectors I suspect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My usual reply is 'thanks for the message but you're not for me'. I'd appreciate the same back too.

I'll be honest, if they started badgering I'd probably just block them... The concept of randoms thinking they're owed something is a bit lost on me.

We replied exactly that but didn't block and the next time I logged on...lots of messages. It made me see my arse if I'm honest

Next time the block button will be my friend!"

OP, I have no issues when the reply is " Thanks but not for us".

I wonder sometimes though when it seems like the profiles are a perfect match and if a reason was given, I'd take it as a welcomed constructive feedback.

Don't be quick to block. It isn't necessary unless the person persist on asking endless questions.

I also refuse meets but don't block for that reason. They usually lose interest when I tell them it's not going to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My usual reply is 'thanks for the message but you're not for me'. I'd appreciate the same back too.

I'll be honest, if they started badgering I'd probably just block them... The concept of randoms thinking they're owed something is a bit lost on me.

We replied exactly that but didn't block and the next time I logged on...lots of messages. It made me see my arse if I'm honest

Next time the block button will be my friend!

OP, I have no issues when the reply is " Thanks but not for us".

I wonder sometimes though when it seems like the profiles are a perfect match and if a reason was given, I'd take it as a welcomed constructive feedback.

Don't be quick to block. It isn't necessary unless the person persist on asking endless questions.

I also refuse meets but don't block for that reason. They usually lose interest when I tell them it's not going to happen. "

it is necessary though..im not psychic! i am just prempting stupid questions or abuse..endless ' oh but i fit all your criteria' messages are rude, dumb, and uneccessary.

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By *annooWoman
over a year ago

Hastings

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

i had that had to block them in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I've had that happen too. Picture collectors I suspect.

They had meet veris etc. We are very careful who we send our pics to. Perhaps we are just ugly lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all!

So my question is, what do people prefer, surely honesty is best but sensitively?!!

Thanks! Xxx"

I wouldn't have bothered respondibg further after saying thanks but no thanks. You aren't obligated to provide an explanation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We say no thanks we're not meeting at the moment... kind of puts them of the scent x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer no reply.

Who cares really.

I mean if you need people on here to go to such lengths to make you feel crap about yourself. What is the point x better to say thanks and move on"

But that opens up a load of abuse. Tried that approach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete and block, no point wasting your time on people that don't interest you. If it sounds harsh it's because it probably is. If people can't deal with rejection then I'm guessing this site isn't for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do a polite curt reply if not our cup of tea ,,,bit theres a fare few that polite don't work with .....god bless the block button of doom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Normally timewasters don't reply

Unfortunately they do"

Yes, even up to the day before, the sudden bed head comes on and then they fall off the planet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My FB and I get a lot of messages and so we tend not to reply to the all, but if someone has taken the time to write something decent we will usually reply in kind, even if they aren't right for us.

But it is incredible how some people can't take a polite no thank you. We got totally abused by a couple for a whole day after we said we didn't think they were right for us. I was actually blown away by the venom with which the messages were written. Insults flying with complete abandon, everything from the shape of my eyebrows through to the way we both smile, with plenty to say about our bodies along the way.

I say it a lot in the forums, but people need to check their egos in this place, there's no room for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Rich) am very self conscious about my looks and don't like hurting other people's feelings. In the past I have gone through with things so as not to upset the lady involved.

These days I just reply with "not what we are looking for" then sign it from her!

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By *na_Luv_4PlayCouple
over a year ago

Bridlington

A polite thanks but not for us happy swinging is our way.. and most reply happy swinging too.. unwanted messages asking why trigger the block button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I (Rich) am very self conscious about my looks and don't like hurting other people's feelings. In the past I have gone through with things so as not to upset the lady involved.

These days I just reply with "not what we are looking for" then sign it from her!

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