FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

subs

Jump to newest
 

By *andsonjohn OP   Man
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

how do you go about ensuring your top doesn't suffer from top drop in the days following a heavy all afternoon and evening play session .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good question and not one I've ever really thought about. To be honest my drop is terrible so I've always needed and been lucky to have a top who knows how to pick me up after those kind of sessions. I'll have to ask next time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good question and not one I've ever really thought about. To be honest my drop is terrible so I've always needed and been lucky to have a top who knows how to pick me up after those kind of sessions. I'll have to ask next time. "
how does your top pick you up.maybe that's where answer is because I would like to know as well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

How can there be two tops? Confused here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

make sure its elasticated

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can there be two tops? Confused here"

the main singer sings the vocals and the others sing the corus and harmonies..... ....woops thats the four tops

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"make sure its elasticated "

Hahaha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can there be two tops? Confused here

the main singer sings the vocals and the others sing the corus and harmonies..... ....woops thats the four tops "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im confused about the question?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nequeenslutWoman
over a year ago

rugeley


"how do you go about ensuring your top doesn't suffer from top drop in the days following a heavy all afternoon and evening play session .

"

mutual care and attention

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohn OP   Man
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"make sure its elasticated "

i wonder if you would have joked like this if it was a sub asking tops about after care for sub drop .

i gave up playing with anyone new for other two years because of my own drop and feeling of feeling used after topping random part time subs at private parties .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohn OP   Man
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Good question and not one I've ever really thought about. To be honest my drop is terrible so I've always needed and been lucky to have a top who knows how to pick me up after those kind of sessions. I'll have to ask next time. "

I'm a sensitive soul at heart tink and have been racked with guilt and suffered heavy depression in the past

after spending a whole afternoon and evening intensely topping a sub yes i get a massive high out of the experience but there is always a come down from that high

a day or two later add to that sometimes guilt over how rough the play got and well you have a nasty combination of self loathing mixed with depression brought on by my bodies levels of endorphins dopamine's plus adrenaline returning to normal .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

[Removed by poster at 19/03/17 15:12:52]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By sending lots of messages reaffirming that what happened was consensual. How much I enjoyed it. How I feel about my master. Keeping the conversation going about how he is feeling, and what he enjoyed about my reaction to whatever he did to me. And if we're physically together then lots of touches and kisses to let him know that no matter what it's him I want, but if not then just letting him know all that. Sometimes it's just as simple as holding his hand and sitting with him that gets past that feeling.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife


"Im confused about the question?"
me too! Lost on the first post

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohn OP   Man
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"By sending lots of messages reaffirming that what happened was consensual. How much I enjoyed it. How I feel about my master. Keeping the conversation going about how he is feeling, and what he enjoyed about my reaction to whatever he did to me. And if we're physically together then lots of touches and kisses to let him know that no matter what it's him I want, but if not then just letting him know all that. Sometimes it's just as simple as holding his hand and sitting with him that gets past that feeling. "

you missy are a true experienced sub who understands the emotional cost of intense play .

i stopped topping at parties random's because it made me feel like a object after i lost my regular pain queen and the emotional balance she gave me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"make sure its elasticated

i wonder if you would have joked like this if it was a sub asking tops about after care for sub drop .

i gave up playing with anyone new for other two years because of my own drop and feeling of feeling used after topping random part time subs at private parties ."

I wonder if you had found your sense of humour yet...

obviously not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By sending lots of messages reaffirming that what happened was consensual. How much I enjoyed it. How I feel about my master. Keeping the conversation going about how he is feeling, and what he enjoyed about my reaction to whatever he did to me. And if we're physically together then lots of touches and kisses to let him know that no matter what it's him I want, but if not then just letting him know all that. Sometimes it's just as simple as holding his hand and sitting with him that gets past that feeling.

you missy are a true experienced sub who understands the emotional cost of intense play .

i stopped topping at parties random's because it made me feel like a object after i lost my regular pain queen and the emotional balance she gave me "

Thank you, I couldn't sub for some random I have to have an emotional connection with my top and trust him. So completely understand where you're coming from. But being a good sub means that you know your masters needs physically and emotionally and that you have to respect all his needs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not sure it can be prevented, if I have a good scene I feel low the day after. I think realizing it will be coming helps me through.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohn OP   Man
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"I am not sure it can be prevented, if I have a good scene I feel low the day after. I think realizing it will be coming helps me through."

feed back from your subs help to fella.

i hardly crash at all when I'm helping a sub through her come down but if i top a stranger at a event i have always crashed a day or two later .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does a sub feel when they are having a come down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does a sub feel when they are having a come down. "

A previous discussion on sub drop.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/418323

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"By sending lots of messages reaffirming that what happened was consensual. How much I enjoyed it. How I feel about my master. Keeping the conversation going about how he is feeling, and what he enjoyed about my reaction to whatever he did to me. And if we're physically together then lots of touches and kisses to let him know that no matter what it's him I want, but if not then just letting him know all that. Sometimes it's just as simple as holding his hand and sitting with him that gets past that feeling.

you missy are a true experienced sub who understands the emotional cost of intense play .

i stopped topping at parties random's because it made me feel like a object after i lost my regular pain queen and the emotional balance she gave me

Thank you, I couldn't sub for some random I have to have an emotional connection with my top and trust him. So completely understand where you're coming from. But being a good sub means that you know your masters needs physically and emotionally and that you have to respect all his needs. "

Aaand this is why I currently watch with great interest but don't get involved physically. I had a "taster session" one time a couple of years ago which I thoroughly enjoyed. The emotions I got from it were so intense that I decided that I only ever want to feel that way again around someone who I'm actually close to and trust.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could only do 24/7 in a relationship, which is why I am now off the Fab reservation.

However in the past the pleasure of doing great scenes with people who I had a connection and in which both parties were moved emotionally was,for me, worth the drop. I compare it to playing a good game of rugby, you come off physically drained and hurting but it is worth it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't. We are responsible for ourselves. I don't enter into arrangements which require aftercare.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"how do you go about ensuring your top doesn't suffer from top drop in the days following a heavy all afternoon and evening play session .

"

First point of call for both Top/Dom drop and sub drop is open and honest lines of communication between all participants in a scene. All are responsible for the care of themselves and the care of each other, though many haven't considered it and many more don't give a shit.

If you suffer with drop then playing with strangers is only going to emphasis any drop issues in both parties and clearly should be talked about before any scene. If a relationship is only very temporary then you're going to struggle to get effective aftercare if it's more than a cuddle and a chocolate bar after play or if drop occurs later obviously.

With a new submissive then I would talk about drop and both our needs, if they are taught right and a considerate person then they will learn the right way. But then again I don't play with others very often and I've never played with a stranger.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I always wanted to try out being a sub so very interested in this. Sub drop I assume is the pain you feel from play which you mistress or master gave you but they put you in a space where you did not feel pain. Am I right ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to try out being a sub so very interested in this. Sub drop I assume is the pain you feel from play which you mistress or master gave you but they put you in a space where you did not feel pain. Am I right ?? "

It's generally the 'emotional rollercoaster' that some people experience after indulging in BDSM.

Some people get it, some people don't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohn OP   Man
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"I always wanted to try out being a sub so very interested in this. Sub drop I assume is the pain you feel from play which you mistress or master gave you but they put you in a space where you did not feel pain. Am I right ?? "

no fella sub drop its a emotional come down after intense play due to the natural chemical high induced in a subs brain during intense play if the play is done right .

sub space is the delirious high brought on by intense play done right over a prolonged period of play .

there is a science to BDSM and D/S play .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always wanted to try out being a sub so very interested in this. Sub drop I assume is the pain you feel from play which you mistress or master gave you but they put you in a space where you did not feel pain. Am I right ??

no fella sub drop its a emotional come down after intense play due to the natural chemical high induced in a subs brain during intense play if the play is done right .

sub space is the delirious high brought on by intense play done right over a prolonged period of play .

there is a science to BDSM and D/S play . "

It's not 'if done right' - it's 'if that person is wired that way'. Not everyone finds subspace desirable or possible.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"I always wanted to try out being a sub so very interested in this. Sub drop I assume is the pain you feel from play which you mistress or master gave you but they put you in a space where you did not feel pain. Am I right ??

no fella sub drop its a emotional come down after intense play due to the natural chemical high induced in a subs brain during intense play if the play is done right .

sub space is the delirious high brought on by intense play done right over a prolonged period of play .

there is a science to BDSM and D/S play .

It's not 'if done right' - it's 'if that person is wired that way'. Not everyone finds subspace desirable or possible."

Not to mention not everyone suffers with drop either.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eviant and BemusedCouple
over a year ago

Burton

Following with interest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"By ... reaffirming that what happened was consensual. How much I enjoyed it."

Yes, for my service Dom really all it takes is a quick conversation. A reminder that he didn't do these things to me, we did them together. I am not a passive recipient of abuse, I am an active participant in power exchange. A reminder that I wanted it, enjoyed it and benefitted from it. Also that it doesn't make him a "bad" person, if anything it makes him a "good" one for catering to my needs. When I've been on the other end, my sub just gave me a hug and asked me if I was ok and that made me feel even more silly but ultimately her mere acknowledgement that it was possible for me not to be OK was enough to snap me out of it.

I can see that if you have no possibility of contact with the people in your scene it would be a very isolating experiene and like a private echo chamber where these thoughts get repeated and amplified without any dissenting voices.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im confused about the question?"

It's more to do with BDSM play than Swinging.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How does a sub feel when they are having a come down. "

My own view is it depends on the type of play you've had. And also for me, after care. But sometimes however good after care is, you can still have a drop. But I think some people have that just after a really good meet, it doesn't have to be anything to do with bdsm in any way. It's the excitement and endorphins racing round then the lull after.

I find resting,some chocolate or something sweet and just watching a film or reading soothes me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

A very interesting thread, me and the wife is getting into this scene we've found a dom and the contact is daily and all parties are aware of what's happening so a relationship is building we have had a naughty meet but nothing in depth yet - ill get her to have a read of this as she's willing but some interesting things raised that we hadn't considered.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top