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What am i doing wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Bit of advice as I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall! So been on here afew months now. I know I'm not everyone cup of tea but I'm always polite and respectful when messaging! I careful read profile as not to bother anyone who I don't think ill tick there boxes, but I'm getting nowhere! Any advice would be excellent thanks....

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By *andm_69Couple
over a year ago

Stevenage

What was wrong with the advise given on your last thread about this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When I first joined I did ask how my profile looked if that's what you mean? Thought that was months ago now!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The advice you will get, will be exactly the same as all the other profile threads.

Not enough pictures. Your profile text doesn't actually tell us anything about what you're after, what your preference if lady is or what you can offer.

And probably bigger still, is the bit about open relationship. That right there will put a lot of people off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Funny were on a swinger site and people are put off by someone being in an open relationship! It's a funny old world....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Funny were on a swinger site and people are put off by someone being in an open relationship! It's a funny old world...."

You asked for advice so I've given it. I didn't say everyone would, I personally couldn't care less if someone is in a relationship or not, but a lot do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/03/17 13:13:54]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh advice respectfully taken! I was merely stating seemed funny considering the site! No malice intended.

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By *ulu99Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Try correcting the grammar/spelling/punctuation.

You're also looking only for women, that's going to limit interest for a start. Lots of couples on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh advice respectfully taken! I was merely stating seemed funny considering the site! No malice intended."

I would say its down to your other half not being on here?

does she know you are? if so, say so on your profile.. open relationship or not, people like to know these things

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock


"Funny were on a swinger site and people are put off by someone being in an open relationship! It's a funny old world...."

Trouble is a lot of so-called 'single' men say this, but it's not true and the other partner doesn't know. You could put on your profile that your partner is in the know and willing to verify this via Skype, etc.

You do need to put a bit more into your profile regarding what you like and what you're willing to do for the other person, without being too explicit. Also, suggest you're willing to do soicial meet first and how you would accommodate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Got it will pop that in! she not on here anymore and yes she knows I'm on here. Openness and trust are both very integral aspects of being in an open relationship!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Oh advice respectfully taken! I was merely stating seemed funny considering the site! No malice intended."

considering the site meaning..............

the problem with the "open relationship" thing that people only have your side to say that it is...

its interesting how many people in here have told people they are in an open relationship only to then find it in fact wasn't (not saying you are lying... but just saying if the other person can confirm that, it will help)

but other than that... what other people have dis in the other thread still applies now.... its bland... its all about "you" and not one word about the person/people you are after....

look yourself in the mirror and ask "why should someone pick you over a n other?" because at the moment to be brutally honest... it doesn't really scream "effort"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah can understand what you mean! I put in an attempt to be open from the get go! Seem to be working against me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah can understand what you mean! I put in an attempt to be open from the get go! Seem to be working against me! "

remove it then and just say your gf knows you are on here

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

As others have said, you're essentially a single guy with the potential to bring dramatic baggage in the form of your partner. That puts you at a -1 from the outset compared to regular single guys. And regular single guys have it tough as it is.

Single guy profiles featuring other women in the pics don't tend to do very well. It can be seen almost as using them as bait or to pad out your album with something more attractive than what you may have to offer.

Good luck!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think your profile comes across quite well, although I don't think you need to explain what 'switch' means! I will say, lose the 18th Dec (I think) your cock looks....well sore tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to clubs, or just socials. Meet real people and talk to them. Get verifications and refine your profile and approach based in how your current approach is being received. It's work, no doubt about it, but it's the only way you can hope to develop the contacts you want to make

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Over use of the lomo filter on that one my bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a similar problem! I get no replys!! Haha

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By *hat one timeWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Funny were on a swinger site and people are put off by someone being in an open relationship! It's a funny old world...."

People have no way of verifying that your partner is ok with this, and potentially being the other woman is very unattractive to most.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

I'm not sure why you need to mention your OH unless she is going to join in.

I mean, if one is single, should they list how many FBs they have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking advice on the forum is the wrong thing to do

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Oh advice respectfully taken! I was merely stating seemed funny considering the site! No malice intended."

Why funny? You're' looking for women and a large proportion of us are here for our own reasons and don't need to be caught up in someone's relationship dramas.

Yes you say she knows, but who knows?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I'm not sure why you need to mention your OH unless she is going to join in.

I mean, if one is single, should they list how many FBs they have? "

That's completely different. No Fab chum of mine is going to go through my phone, find other men and call them to see what's going on.

But wronged women do that. And I'm not taking those kind of calls.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's probably because I come from the fet scene where we are open about everything and understand everyone different! I have to be honest on the whole(and I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush) but my experience of the swinging scene so far has been rude,disrespectful, ego driven and belittling! I only came on here to make some new friends as due to personal circumstances had to leave alot of good friends in our previous scene! As iv alway stated I've always been polite and respectful shame its mostly not reciprocated!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Funny were on a swinger site and people are put off by someone being in an open relationship! It's a funny old world...."

That's true, but my read of your profile suggests you are looking for friends with benefits, not swinging. Depends what you use this site for.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes time for a single guy took me a year

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We reply to all half decent attempts at messages but get (and ignore) an awful lot of crass 'hey how you doin?' type one liners from guys who don't match our requirements and whose profiles betray just as little effort. We will meet married guys but expect/appreciate honesty and having been around a long time, can detect BS a mile off lol. We feel the reason a women/couples often don't reply to guys is because they're looking for people who've bothered to find out what they're looking for and put some time and thought into their messages/profiles. An awful lot of guys just don't bother to do that...

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"It's probably because I come from the fet scene where we are open about everything and understand everyone different! I have to be honest on the whole(and I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush) but my experience of the swinging scene so far has been rude,disrespectful, ego driven and belittling! I only came on here to make some new friends as due to personal circumstances had to leave alot of good friends in our previous scene! As iv alway stated I've always been polite and respectful shame its mostly not reciprocated!"

Of course, we've given good advice but we're obviously wrong and it's the site not you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Of course, we've given good advice but we're obviously wrong and it's the site not you "

No advice on this thread has been great just saying the experience I had so far!

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

I'm sure some people might think we're not always 'polite' but if they saw our mailbox they might think somewhat differently. Females and couples here tend to get bombarded with messages, winks, friends requests etc. and yes it does get a tad annoying when you find that about 90% of those who've contacted you didn't even bother to read your profile first.

I have no idea what the OP has/hasn't done which might account for a lack of 'success' but in many cases the reason is what we've previously posted, not some irrational and unwarranted animosity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/03/17 19:05:53]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Of course, we've given good advice but we're obviously wrong and it's the site not you "

Actually hold on I've just re read your reply! Nowhere did I say it was this site just gave my experience and guess what just like my experiences of the swinging scene you've belittled me with your reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reckon dont put your eggs in the fabswinger basket as far as getting some is concerned.

My advice is dont just fuck anything cause they il let you ive been there lose alot of respect for yourself doing that.

All you are is a cock doing that fuck them cause you want to not cause they let you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"

Of course, we've given good advice but we're obviously wrong and it's the site not you

Actually hold on I've just re read your reply! Nowhere did I say it was this site just gave my experience and guess what just like my experiences of the swinging scene you've belittled me with your reply"

"It's probably because I come from the fet scene where we are open about everything and understand everyone different! I have to be honest on the whole(and I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush) but my experience of the swinging scene so far has been rude,disrespectful, ego driven and belittling!"

.

and this site is a massive part of the swinging scene so I don't see how you can't think you didn't give that impression

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Of course, we've given good advice but we're obviously wrong and it's the site not you

Actually hold on I've just re read your reply! Nowhere did I say it was this site just gave my experience and guess what just like my experiences of the swinging scene you've belittled me with your reply

"It's probably because I come from the fet scene where we are open about everything and understand everyone different! I have to be honest on the whole(and I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush) but my experience of the swinging scene so far has been rude,disrespectful, ego driven and belittling!"

.

and this site is a massive part of the swinging scene so I don't see how you can't think you didn't give that impression "

Sorry but your point is? Once again you stated this site and I was talking my experiences in the scene so far! I know you get good and bad folk everywhere but if id been an ass id understand, but I've always been polite!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Sorry but your point is? Once again you stated this site and I was talking my experiences in the scene so far! I know you get good and bad folk everywhere but if id been an ass id understand, but I've always been polite!"

My point, and it's only my thoughts, is that you prefer the fet scene and find it rude etc. here.

And when people give you advice about your profile you appear to still think that's not the issue but this scene

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

My point, and it's only my thoughts, is that you prefer the fet scene and find it rude etc. here.

And when people give you advice about your profile you appear to still think that's not the issue but this scene "

The advice given on this thread has been great! Maybe if id have meet more folk like that have given advice here my experience would be different. I'm not saying I'm right and the whole swinging scene is wrong, I'm actually saying I must be doing something wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As others have said, you're essentially a single guy with the potential to bring dramatic baggage in the form of your partner. That puts you at a -1 from the outset compared to regular single guys. And regular single guys have it tough as it is.

Single guy profiles featuring other women in the pics don't tend to do very well. It can be seen almost as using them as bait or to pad out your album with something more attractive than what you may have to offer.

Good luck! "

This is spot on. Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's probably because I come from the fet scene where we are open about everything and understand everyone different! I have to be honest on the whole(and I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush) but my experience of the swinging scene so far has been rude,disrespectful, ego driven and belittling! I only came on here to make some new friends as due to personal circumstances had to leave alot of good friends in our previous scene! As iv alway stated I've always been polite and respectful shame its mostly not reciprocated!"

to be fair, our experience of the fet scene has shown it to be less than open about everything or understanding of difference particularly towards swingers. I think the accusation of ego driven and belittling could equally be applied...

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