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Is it possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after fab?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your fab ruined

There's no going back for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I don't think it is although I'd really like a relationship too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it's possible - but only for some people and not for others.

Exactly why people look for swinging partners on here.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

Not for me. Tried vanilla relationships quite seriously was in someone else's bed in 2 weeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would be unlikely I'd have a monogamous relationship...I'd be able to stick with one guy but I'd never trust a guy to be the same...so it's better to keep some swinging aspect rather than the heartbreak of cheating. I hate the pathological 'joy' that some men feel about cheating on someone.I'm a realist and it doesn't feel like it's giving in. Sensitive swinging is great fun anyway and can make for great sex with each other afterwards.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•

what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do feel for me personally that Fab is holding me back from dating and establishing a relationship! I don't think I can go vanilla...ideally any future partners will also swing! Seems like that's the only way forward!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind? "

Yes, of course. It's all about meeting the right partner. Love conquers all, as they say.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough."

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town


"That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind? "

For me maybe for a week or two

Then I be bored with the vanilla relationship, then most likely be back on here

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

Yes I'm pretty sure it is you just need to meet the one person that makes you forget about fab. You won't need them as you will have them

I come and go from fab if I'm vanilla dating

I'm just struggling to find someone to vanilla date with

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex "

if new partners is doing this for you it doesn't seem likely you could be with one guy only then.

tempted to think there's some masochism going on there also, but idk you well enough to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As with all forms of liberation you can't easily go back to being restricted and unliberated again. Could a liberated feminist go back to being a housewife owned, like property, by her husband? Probably not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do both then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it is, if it's right, it's just right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short answer. Yes.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind? "

Why don't you consider a cuckolding relationship then ?

You will have a vanilla relationship , commitment and love and be treated well and be looked after and yet you can still live a single woman lifestyle meeting other men from fab .

I am talking here about proper cuckolding relationship and not a cuckolding NSA play.

Is it something that would appeal to you ?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

For us as a couple yes, easy, but then we are after different sex not more sex.

I still go on the "When was the last time you had sex" threads at some responses.

Ten months ago we didn't know this place or clubs existed, wouldn't be too hard to forget them again.

But that answer maybe because in our "Vanilla" world we were still picking up the odd girl when out pubing or clubbing so never quite Vanilla anyway.

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think so, but it might depend on picking the right partner. If they want missionary once a month then no but if they want to shag me over a car bonnet whilst dressed as Buffalo Bill then it possibly has legs in it,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be unlikely I'd have a monogamous relationship...I'd be able to stick with one guy but I'd never trust a guy to be the same...so it's better to keep some swinging aspect rather than the heartbreak of cheating. I hate the pathological 'joy' that some men feel about cheating on someone.I'm a realist and it doesn't feel like it's giving in. Sensitive swinging is great fun anyway and can make for great sex with each other afterwards. "

I completely get where you are coming from as the number of guys ive met who now have girlfriends and still pop up on my newsfeed is sould destroying and the openness of fab has made it very hard for me to trust going forward

I know its a complete double standard to be able to say i know i could walk away from here but dont believe a man would not be tempted back but that is unfortunately how i feel

Add to that that almost every guy thay i have spoken to from other dating sites in the last year had also had a profile on here (because its become a recommend a single male friend who is in need of a shag kind of site) and i dont see me meeting someone who had no connection to fab and therefore will not be lured back by it

I do think its sad though because i would give it all up for monogomy in a heart beat

Well maybe almost all of it some of the kinks id keep lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As with all forms of liberation you can't easily go back to being restricted and unliberated again. Could a liberated feminist go back to being a housewife owned, like property, by her husband? Probably not. "

If you are quite free to have sex with others but choose not to, then you're not in any way "restricted and unliberated", are you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't go back to it.. im too damaged for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As with all forms of liberation you can't easily go back to being restricted and unliberated again. Could a liberated feminist go back to being a housewife owned, like property, by her husband? Probably not.

If you are quite free to have sex with others but choose not to, then you're not in any way "restricted and unliberated", are you?"

I'd agree. If you're free to swing but simply don't want to then it is possible. But I could imagine it's quite difficult to go back to vanilla life if it's not self led and, even if it is, I can imagine eventually meeting someone you fancy who's up for a bit of fun and finding it oddly arbitrary that you're no longer allowed to play. The previous barriers of "it's going to be a horrible experience" or "it's going to ruin my life" just wouldn't be there to stop you and you'd soon find yourself asking your partners consent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could. So long as our sex drive was compatible.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

When i am ready to start dating...I know I could as I know I couldnt share the person i was in love with...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as they accepted my past, I can/could.

They would also have to accept that I have amazing swinging friends who I won't leave behind just for a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As with all forms of liberation you can't easily go back to being restricted and unliberated again. Could a liberated feminist go back to being a housewife owned, like property, by her husband? Probably not.

If you are quite free to have sex with others but choose not to, then you're not in any way "restricted and unliberated", are you?

I'd agree. If you're free to swing but simply don't want to then it is possible. But I could imagine it's quite difficult to go back to vanilla life if it's not self led and, even if it is, I can imagine eventually meeting someone you fancy who's up for a bit of fun and finding it oddly arbitrary that you're no longer allowed to play. The previous barriers of "it's going to be a horrible experience" or "it's going to ruin my life" just wouldn't be there to stop you and you'd soon find yourself asking your partners consent "

Or you could just have gone off the novelty of shagging strangers.

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex "

Here in lies the problem.

It isn't with being in Fab, it's the craving for the surge of dopamine etc. The drop, ie depletion, has resulted from the buzz... and when back in balance - you crave it again.

Look at the neurochemicals involved in addiction.

Fab wouldn't ruin the chance of a monogamous relationship.

You/your brain will.

Feel free to text stones at me.... can supply research & experiential evidence as required

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche

and whilst I am at it...

adding the definition of vanilla somehow takes/adds something that has connotations of being dull/less exciting.

Why would we want to pigeon holed as vanilla. When we do so as swingers?

Im currently single, started dating people and id love to have a swinging relationship for the joint buzz. But I wouldn't jeopardise a lasting fulfilling relationship with one person just because of the desire to have sex with others. Needs and wants are massively different.

Wants don't sustain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the sex would have to be out of this world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As with all forms of liberation you can't easily go back to being restricted and unliberated again. Could a liberated feminist go back to being a housewife owned, like property, by her husband? Probably not.

If you are quite free to have sex with others but choose not to, then you're not in any way "restricted and unliberated", are you?

I'd agree. If you're free to swing but simply don't want to then it is possible. But I could imagine it's quite difficult to go back to vanilla life if it's not self led and, even if it is, I can imagine eventually meeting someone you fancy who's up for a bit of fun and finding it oddly arbitrary that you're no longer allowed to play. The previous barriers of "it's going to be a horrible experience" or "it's going to ruin my life" just wouldn't be there to stop you and you'd soon find yourself asking your partners consent "

Or playing behind their partners back. That is also an option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and whilst I am at it...

adding the definition of vanilla somehow takes/adds something that has connotations of being dull/less exciting.

Why would we want to pigeon holed as vanilla. When we do so as swingers?

Im currently single, started dating people and id love to have a swinging relationship for the joint buzz. But I wouldn't jeopardise a lasting fulfilling relationship with one person just because of the desire to have sex with others. Needs and wants are massively different.

Wants don't sustain."

Needs to be me met though, and sex is a basic human need. Plus I want it, and lots of it too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex

Here in lies the problem.

It isn't with being in Fab, it's the craving for the surge of dopamine etc. The drop, ie depletion, has resulted from the buzz... and when back in balance - you crave it again.

Look at the neurochemicals involved in addiction.

Fab wouldn't ruin the chance of a monogamous relationship.

You/your brain will.

Feel free to text stones at me.... can supply research & experiential evidence as required "

It's not too difficult to imagine that those lacking contentment or fulfillment in their lives could easily become dependent on the high of new sexual encounters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex

Here in lies the problem.

It isn't with being in Fab, it's the craving for the surge of dopamine etc. The drop, ie depletion, has resulted from the buzz... and when back in balance - you crave it again.

Look at the neurochemicals involved in addiction.

Fab wouldn't ruin the chance of a monogamous relationship.

You/your brain will.

Feel free to text stones at me.... can supply research & experiential evidence as required "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure how long my former FWB is going to last in his vanilla relationship. Think he will be back on sites looking for meets and a new FWB very soon. XXX

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By *litteasingManMan
over a year ago

Thereabouts


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex

Here in lies the problem.

It isn't with being in Fab, it's the craving for the surge of dopamine etc. The drop, ie depletion, has resulted from the buzz... and when back in balance - you crave it again.

Look at the neurochemicals involved in addiction.

Fab wouldn't ruin the chance of a monogamous relationship.

You/your brain will.

Feel free to text stones at me.... can supply research & experiential evidence as required "

Tried but can't send you a message. I am interested in exploring the neurochemicals you mentioned. Based on their activity on the brain, do you think there might be something interesting in their biosyntheses or metabolisms? Interesting field to explore if you ask me...

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By *litteasingManMan
over a year ago

Thereabouts


"Not sure how long my former FWB is going to last in his vanilla relationship. Think he will be back on sites looking for meets and a new FWB very soon. XXX"

Why someone else? Will he not look for you? Or didn't you path ways on the good?

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Its been the opposite way round for me.. the fab journey has actually made me want a vanilla one on one, no extras relationship even more.

I truly believe with the right person anything is possible

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex

Here in lies the problem.

It isn't with being in Fab, it's the craving for the surge of dopamine etc. The drop, ie depletion, has resulted from the buzz... and when back in balance - you crave it again.

Look at the neurochemicals involved in addiction.

Fab wouldn't ruin the chance of a monogamous relationship.

You/your brain will.

Feel free to text stones at me.... can supply research & experiential evidence as required

Tried but can't send you a message. I am interested in exploring the neurochemicals you mentioned. Based on their activity on the brain, do you think there might be something interesting in their biosyntheses or metabolisms? Interesting field to explore if you ask me... "

Quite possibly.

The metabolic requirements would obviously draw upon other chems - so triggering other pleasure/pain experiences - and for sure, the biosynthesis depletes, as would the oxidation. So cravings...needing more sex

So yes, as I stated, the cycle of addiction....or at least the cycle of brain & body re-finding the stabilised bioexperience of homoeostasis. Whether its 'healthy' or typical or not.

And you are obviously blocked for a reason.

Ive got a 'counter smart arse' blocker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defoe addictive only been on fab few weeks am horny looking for meets all the time

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By *litteasingManMan
over a year ago

Thereabouts


"Tried but can't send you a message. I am interested in exploring the neurochemicals you mentioned. Based on their activity on the brain, do you think there might be something interesting in their biosyntheses or metabolisms? Interesting field to explore if you ask me...

Quite possibly.

The metabolic requirements would obviously draw upon other chems - so triggering other pleasure/pain experiences - and for sure, the biosynthesis depletes, as would the oxidation. So cravings...needing more sex

So yes, as I stated, the cycle of addiction....or at least the cycle of brain & body re-finding the stabilised bioexperience of homoeostasis. Whether its 'healthy' or typical or not.

And you are obviously blocked for a reason.

Ive got a 'counter smart arse' blocker.

"

Yeah, I do quite agree with your analogy. Most metabolic pathways have many reversible steps and like you rightly said, some will feedforward or feedbackback into other chems (never straightforwards are they?). Then, you mentioned homeostasis, buttresses the reversibility and equilibrating. This seems to suggest that the craving, pain or please if not satisfied will do no harm other than to be converted into something else (maybe those other chems you mentioned?).

The major task will be knowing how long one has to hold out when the craving begins and if one can be strong enough to last long enough until the reaction reverses. However, if we can identify one of the key metabolic enzymes and deactivate it then we may be have solved the problem. Then, one can leave Fab and go vanilla for good ...

I was bloacjed for a reason - I am not a site supporter yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I think so, but it might depend on picking the right partner. If they want missionary once a month then no but if they want to shag me over a car bonnet whilst dressed as Buffalo Bill then it possibly has legs in it, "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love swingers fun Fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this not face book lol this fab some people just get addicted to sex aint love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this not face book lol this fab some people just get addicted to sex aint love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" this not face book lol this fab some people just get addicted to sex aint love "

Having a good old chin wag with yourself lol

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

As a couple we have been monogamous for the 20 yrs we have been together, we sometimes experiment with new ideas and kinks, that can include others that we involve to usually do something specific, anything from flashing us to full on sex, we still consider it monogamous with extra playthings, the only impact it ever has on us is to provide a shot of adrenaline and spice up our playtime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a couple we have been monogamous for the 20 yrs we have been together, we sometimes experiment with new ideas and kinks, that can include others that we involve to usually do something specific, anything from flashing us to full on sex, we still consider it monogamous with extra playthings, the only impact it ever has on us is to provide a shot of adrenaline and spice up our playtime."

I'm sure those people you meet are flattered to know that they are just playthings

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I do feel for me personally that Fab is holding me back from dating and establishing a relationship! I don't think I can go vanilla...ideally any future partners will also swing! Seems like that's the only way forward! "

I agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"what is it that makes meeting many men exciting for you? you don't have to say, just think about it, and would you be able to transfer that level of excitement to just one man?

for me, i just love sex and don't actually enjoy fucking a lot of men and would be happy with the one guy if he had a high sex drive. although i'd really miss 3sums and still want them i'm guessing i could find a guy into them easy enough.

I don't actually know what's so exciting for me as I always feel bad about myself the day after but then 2 days later, I want to do it again!! It's like highs and lows but I enjoy the highs and the great sex

Here in lies the problem.

It isn't with being in Fab, it's the craving for the surge of dopamine etc. The drop, ie depletion, has resulted from the buzz... and when back in balance - you crave it again.

Look at the neurochemicals involved in addiction.

Fab wouldn't ruin the chance of a monogamous relationship.

You/your brain will.

Feel free to text stones at me.... can supply research & experiential evidence as required "

This is interesting. I think you're right. It's not the sex I'm after. It's the dopamine feel good feelings I get from it.

I have had a relationship with awesome sex. Our sex drives match perfectly and he's wonderful but I still crave the dopamine high I get from meeting random men. Don't get me wrong I feel great after sex with him but not living together yet means I have days without seeing him where I crave the dopamine. I haven't and wouldn't cheat but it's confusing.

Thanks for all your replies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world"

that aimed at me? I was only asking a question. . Jeez

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

A no from me. With fab you can be yourself and be open about your desires and kinks.

Vanilla is too boring for me.

I think it might be possible to live as a couple in an open, honest, swinging relationship, playing within your own agreed limits, but it has to be with the right person. Not met them yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

that aimed at me? I was only asking a question. . Jeez"

Aim at anyone who wants to take it, it's just a website. Don't live your life by it

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world"

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

that aimed at me? I was only asking a question. . Jeez

Aim at anyone who wants to take it, it's just a website. Don't live your life by it"

Some people on here actually meet and end up with questions that seem relevant so there's no harm in them asking

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you "

Me either. Quite disappointed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

that aimed at me? I was only asking a question. . Jeez

Aim at anyone who wants to take it, it's just a website. Don't live your life by it

Some people on here actually meet and end up with questions that seem relevant so there's no harm in them asking "

It's a website

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By *rincessvenusCouple
over a year ago

Hull

you carnt shag 24 7

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed "

Good filter thread in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end "

You don't need to filter me

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

that aimed at me? I was only asking a question. . Jeez

Aim at anyone who wants to take it, it's just a website. Don't live your life by it

Some people on here actually meet and end up with questions that seem relevant so there's no harm in them asking

It's a website"

I know, but some of us meet people and interact in the 'real' world

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me "

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys."

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out

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By *ntriguedx2Couple
over a year ago

wigan

Of course YES ...but I don't want too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out "

Don't flatter yourself

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By *ntriguedx2Couple
over a year ago

wigan

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By *eryCuriousCouple2012Couple
over a year ago

Funville


"That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind? "

Yes.

Why do you feel the need to class it as a 'vanilla' relationship? ''Tis either a relationship or it isn't. You both define the boundaries and rules that you will and won't do whilst in a relationship...so, classifying it immediately as 'vanilla' would imply that you're looking to sabotage it at the outset.

If your not suited or share compatibility then leave the relationship.

If you are and do then discuss your requirements and he will do the same and the relationship could continue.

Pretty straightforward really, just needs communication

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind?

Yes.

Why do you feel the need to class it as a 'vanilla' relationship? ''Tis either a relationship or it isn't. You both define the boundaries and rules that you will and won't do whilst in a relationship...so, classifying it immediately as 'vanilla' would imply that you're looking to sabotage it at the outset.

If your not suited or share compatibility then leave the relationship.

If you are and do then discuss your requirements and he will do the same and the relationship could continue.

Pretty straightforward really, just needs communication "

Only labeling it vanilla to signify that it's not a swinging relationship. It's far from boring but just doesn't involve others.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"Your fab ruined

There's no going back for you "

like hotel California - you can check put but you can never leave.

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By *eryCuriousCouple2012Couple
over a year ago

Funville


"That's my question really.

I seem to be struggling to be satisfied with a Vanilla relationship despite really wanting a relationship. I enjoy the excitement of meeting fab men, it's addictive.

So do you think it's possible to be happy in a Vanilla relationship after the 'fab' experience and leave fab behind?

Yes.

Why do you feel the need to class it as a 'vanilla' relationship? ''Tis either a relationship or it isn't. You both define the boundaries and rules that you will and won't do whilst in a relationship...so, classifying it immediately as 'vanilla' would imply that you're looking to sabotage it at the outset.

If your not suited or share compatibility then leave the relationship.

If you are and do then discuss your requirements and he will do the same and the relationship could continue.

Pretty straightforward really, just needs communication

Only labeling it vanilla to signify that it's not a swinging relationship. It's far from boring but just doesn't involve others. "

Which is what I was getting at in a roundabout way; if you prefer a swinging relationship, who is to say your partner would be horrified at the idea? It may not be a 'vanilla' relationship if you communicate with him and maybe express a few needs you have. If he reacts negatively then it wasn't meant to be and you are single and ready to mingle again, if he reacts positively then you get to have the lifestyle you want. Win-win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be unlikely I'd have a monogamous relationship...I'd be able to stick with one guy but I'd never trust a guy to be the same...so it's better to keep some swinging aspect rather than the heartbreak of cheating. I hate the pathological 'joy' that some men feel about cheating on someone.I'm a realist and it doesn't feel like it's giving in. Sensitive swinging is great fun anyway and can make for great sex with each other afterwards.

I completely get where you are coming from as the number of guys ive met who now have girlfriends and still pop up on my newsfeed is sould destroying and the openness of fab has made it very hard for me to trust going forward

I know its a complete double standard to be able to say i know i could walk away from here but dont believe a man would not be tempted back but that is unfortunately how i feel

Add to that that almost every guy thay i have spoken to from other dating sites in the last year had also had a profile on here (because its become a recommend a single male friend who is in need of a shag kind of site) and i dont see me meeting someone who had no connection to fab and therefore will not be lured back by it

I do think its sad though because i would give it all up for monogomy in a heart beat

Well maybe almost all of it some of the kinks id keep lol "

Think you contradicted yourself there right at the end... While reading I kept saying in my head... I'm sorry but you couldn't... Then at the end your last line confirmed it... Looking for kinks is the main reason most are on here. Spicing up their sex life one way or another. Once you've experienced it most can't stay away.

In a sense you're no longer Vanilla flavoured but that mix that whatever it is ( and it's different for each one of us) will not let us return.

I'd say most will be looking a long time and while looking will be swinging on the side making it all the more difficult to find that right Vanilla partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be unlikely I'd have a monogamous relationship...I'd be able to stick with one guy but I'd never trust a guy to be the same...so it's better to keep some swinging aspect rather than the heartbreak of cheating. I hate the pathological 'joy' that some men feel about cheating on someone.I'm a realist and it doesn't feel like it's giving in. Sensitive swinging is great fun anyway and can make for great sex with each other afterwards.

I completely get where you are coming from as the number of guys ive met who now have girlfriends and still pop up on my newsfeed is sould destroying and the openness of fab has made it very hard for me to trust going forward

I know its a complete double standard to be able to say i know i could walk away from here but dont believe a man would not be tempted back but that is unfortunately how i feel

Add to that that almost every guy thay i have spoken to from other dating sites in the last year had also had a profile on here (because its become a recommend a single male friend who is in need of a shag kind of site) and i dont see me meeting someone who had no connection to fab and therefore will not be lured back by it

I do think its sad though because i would give it all up for monogomy in a heart beat

Well maybe almost all of it some of the kinks id keep lol

Think you contradicted yourself there right at the end... While reading I kept saying in my head... I'm sorry but you couldn't... Then at the end your last line confirmed it... Looking for kinks is the main reason most are on here. Spicing up their sex life one way or another. Once you've experienced it most can't stay away.

In a sense you're no longer Vanilla flavoured but that mix that whatever it is ( and it's different for each one of us) will not let us return.

I'd say most will be looking a long time and while looking will be swinging on the side making it all the more difficult to find that right Vanilla partner."

Kinks and little things you like sexually is not the same as fab and not the same as swinging ... there is plenty that can still be enjoyed in a monogamous relationship ... was just meanig i wiuld still have a naughty streak rather than be full vanilla

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset


"As a couple we have been monogamous for the 20 yrs we have been together, we sometimes experiment with new ideas and kinks, that can include others that we involve to usually do something specific, anything from flashing us to full on sex, we still consider it monogamous with extra playthings, the only impact it ever has on us is to provide a shot of adrenaline and spice up our playtime.

I'm sure those people you meet are flattered to know that they are just playthings "

Of course they are just playthings, what do you want from a meet, undieing love and devotion, NSA = no strings attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be unlikely I'd have a monogamous relationship...I'd be able to stick with one guy but I'd never trust a guy to be the same...so it's better to keep some swinging aspect rather than the heartbreak of cheating. I hate the pathological 'joy' that some men feel about cheating on someone.I'm a realist and it doesn't feel like it's giving in. Sensitive swinging is great fun anyway and can make for great sex with each other afterwards.

I completely get where you are coming from as the number of guys ive met who now have girlfriends and still pop up on my newsfeed is sould destroying and the openness of fab has made it very hard for me to trust going forward

I know its a complete double standard to be able to say i know i could walk away from here but dont believe a man would not be tempted back but that is unfortunately how i feel

Add to that that almost every guy thay i have spoken to from other dating sites in the last year had also had a profile on here (because its become a recommend a single male friend who is in need of a shag kind of site) and i dont see me meeting someone who had no connection to fab and therefore will not be lured back by it

I do think its sad though because i would give it all up for monogomy in a heart beat

Well maybe almost all of it some of the kinks id keep lol

Think you contradicted yourself there right at the end... While reading I kept saying in my head... I'm sorry but you couldn't... Then at the end your last line confirmed it... Looking for kinks is the main reason most are on here. Spicing up their sex life one way or another. Once you've experienced it most can't stay away.

In a sense you're no longer Vanilla flavoured but that mix that whatever it is ( and it's different for each one of us) will not let us return.

I'd say most will be looking a long time and while looking will be swinging on the side making it all the more difficult to find that right Vanilla partner.

Kinks and little things you like sexually is not the same as fab and not the same as swinging ... there is plenty that can still be enjoyed in a monogamous relationship ... was just meanig i wiuld still have a naughty streak rather than be full vanilla "

I was never 'Vanilla' then....sex was always fun... experimental... risky... It's about having a sexy mind.

But fab introduced others and with that is the notion that grass might be greener.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a couple we have been monogamous for the 20 yrs we have been together, we sometimes experiment with new ideas and kinks, that can include others that we involve to usually do something specific, anything from flashing us to full on sex, we still consider it monogamous with extra playthings, the only impact it ever has on us is to provide a shot of adrenaline and spice up our playtime.

I'm sure those people you meet are flattered to know that they are just playthings

Of course they are just playthings, what do you want from a meet, undieing love and devotion, NSA = no strings attached. "

That would be ludicrous. But I wouldn't be anyone's 'plaything'. I'm in it for mutual enjoyment and respect. Not just a toy to be used by others.

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By *eppoMan
over a year ago

London Colney

Yeah it's possible if u meet the right guy and it's a solid love / commitment

But...

These relationship things take a lot of work / sacrifice

Are u prepared to do that ??

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Meet someone on Fab like we did !

Problem solved

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche

It's a tricky one OP and I wish you luck!

Take a break? Go cold turkey for a while and come back with fresh eyes?

Like drugs, booze, gambling etc.... when it stops being fun.....

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche


"Meet someone on Fab like we did !

Problem solved "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you want to?

I could give up swinging tomorrow, it really wouldn't bother me if I never had sex with anyone but my hubby ever again...but our relationship is anything but vanilla!

You just need to find someone who's kinks match your kinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah it's possible if u meet the right guy and it's a solid love / commitment

But...

These relationship things take a lot of work / sacrifice

Are u prepared to do that ??"

Relationships involve work and compromise, shagging other people doesn't change that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this thread very enlightening.

I am in a relationship and having the best sex of my life. We talk about sex, try new things, laugh about the stuff that just isn't doing it for us and move on to something else. At the same time I'm with someone who I can also make love with, look in their eyes and feel a connection that literally lasts for days.

We joined fab because I have always been bi-curios and it's part of our "trying new things". While my partner has no interest in having sex with another women (for the reasons mentioned above) we will do it together rather than me going off on my own. It may happen, it may not, it's not the the driving force in our lives and we would walk away in an instant if we thought it would damage what we have.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"As a couple we have been monogamous for the 20 yrs we have been together, we sometimes experiment with new ideas and kinks, that can include others that we involve to usually do something specific, anything from flashing us to full on sex, we still consider it monogamous with extra playthings, the only impact it ever has on us is to provide a shot of adrenaline and spice up our playtime.

I'm sure those people you meet are flattered to know that they are just playthings

Of course they are just playthings, what do you want from a meet, undieing love and devotion, NSA = no strings attached.

That would be ludicrous. But I wouldn't be anyone's 'plaything'. I'm in it for mutual enjoyment and respect. Not just a toy to be used by others."

Perhaps playmate would have been a better term, I think any word with "thing" in it when referring to another person comes across as derogatory.

Playmate gives off a vibe of fun & laughs, plaything gives off an air that they are little more than one of your sex toys in the box.

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion is no ,you will always want more excitement if it's all vanilla in your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be. Others might be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a couple we have been monogamous for the 20 yrs we have been together, we sometimes experiment with new ideas and kinks, that can include others that we involve to usually do something specific, anything from flashing us to full on sex, we still consider it monogamous with extra playthings, the only impact it ever has on us is to provide a shot of adrenaline and spice up our playtime.

I'm sure those people you meet are flattered to know that they are just playthings

Of course they are just playthings, what do you want from a meet, undieing love and devotion, NSA = no strings attached.

That would be ludicrous. But I wouldn't be anyone's 'plaything'. I'm in it for mutual enjoyment and respect. Not just a toy to be used by others.

Perhaps playmate would have been a better term, I think any word with "thing" in it when referring to another person comes across as derogatory.

Playmate gives off a vibe of fun & laughs, plaything gives off an air that they are little more than one of your sex toys in the box.

S"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met doing this

One of us married .. one in a relationship

We had a break from it when we met but then 'got back into the swing'

No awkwardness about talking about ..

We both enjoy it .. it ebbs and flows but I think we will always dabble but if one of us didn't want too we'd never cheat on each other

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Isn't it up to us whether we consider others playmates or playthings, last time I looked we still had free thought and free speech, anyone we have played with has 100% agreed to the NSA clause , so if a phrase offends you....pass us by, there's no place for childish attitudes in our grown up games

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"Isn't it up to us whether we consider others playmates or playthings, last time I looked we still had free thought and free speech, anyone we have played with has 100% agreed to the NSA clause , so if a phrase offends you....pass us by, there's no place for childish attitudes in our grown up games "

Of course it is, however maybe i'm odd but I can honestly say that what I say online is what I'd say to someone's face, are you honestly telling me that you would in conversation with your NSA friend drop that you considered them a plaything?

I'm pretty sure if we ever did that we'd never see any of ours again, hence playmate. If you won't call them it to their face, don't call them it here is I guess my thoughts on it.

But as said you call them what you like, some on a sub relationship would probably like it.

S

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Difference between you and us ...we like one off meets, with people who fully understand that we are playing and not looking for best buddies, we are not interested in hijacking the OPs thread so will not be discussing this any further ...thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this thread very enlightening.

I am in a relationship and having the best sex of my life. We talk about sex, try new things, laugh about the stuff that just isn't doing it for us and move on to something else. At the same time I'm with someone who I can also make love with, look in their eyes and feel a connection that literally lasts for days.

We joined fab because I have always been bi-curios and it's part of our "trying new things". While my partner has no interest in having sex with another women (for the reasons mentioned above) we will do it together rather than me going off on my own. It may happen, it may not, it's not the the driving force in our lives and we would walk away in an instant if we thought it would damage what we have.

"

We are in a very similar situation. Although as yet we have not actually involved any other people into our sex life.

We've been to a club and been social with other people though.

Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I posted on here as it's one of my issues.

Could we ever go back to being vanilla if we start?

I'm sure it's possible but as the post says, is it really?

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"I posted on here as it's one of my issues.

Could we ever go back to being vanilla if we start?

I'm sure it's possible but as the post says, is it really? "

Not 100% vanilla no. But the beauty of being with a fellow fabster is you can have the best of both worlds

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"I posted on here as it's one of my issues.

Could we ever go back to being vanilla if we start?

I'm sure it's possible but as the post says, is it really? "

Oh you're a couple coming into the scene together, I see. Difficult one, but only you know if it's right. Doesn't matter if you change your mind, your relationship is what counts the most.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I posted on here as it's one of my issues.

Could we ever go back to being vanilla if we start?

I'm sure it's possible but as the post says, is it really?

Not 100% vanilla no. But the beauty of being with a fellow fabster is you can have the best of both worlds "

That's true.

But then if one of the couple wanted to stop, that's when issues arise.

I suppose anyone beginning this journey has doubts if they are part of a loving couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn't it up to us whether we consider others playmates or playthings, last time I looked we still had free thought and free speech, anyone we have played with has 100% agreed to the NSA clause , so if a phrase offends you....pass us by, there's no place for childish attitudes in our grown up games "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this thread very enlightening.

I am in a relationship and having the best sex of my life. We talk about sex, try new things, laugh about the stuff that just isn't doing it for us and move on to something else. At the same time I'm with someone who I can also make love with, look in their eyes and feel a connection that literally lasts for days.

We joined fab because I have always been bi-curios and it's part of our "trying new things". While my partner has no interest in having sex with another women (for the reasons mentioned above) we will do it together rather than me going off on my own. It may happen, it may not, it's not the the driving force in our lives and we would walk away in an instant if we thought it would damage what we have.

We are in a very similar situation. Although as yet we have not actually involved any other people into our sex life.

We've been to a club and been social with other people though.

Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start? "

If you feel that way then I would say you aren't ready for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this thread very enlightening.

I am in a relationship and having the best sex of my life. We talk about sex, try new things, laugh about the stuff that just isn't doing it for us and move on to something else. At the same time I'm with someone who I can also make love with, look in their eyes and feel a connection that literally lasts for days.

We joined fab because I have always been bi-curios and it's part of our "trying new things". While my partner has no interest in having sex with another women (for the reasons mentioned above) we will do it together rather than me going off on my own. It may happen, it may not, it's not the the driving force in our lives and we would walk away in an instant if we thought it would damage what we have.

We are in a very similar situation. Although as yet we have not actually involved any other people into our sex life.

We've been to a club and been social with other people though.

Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start? "

Of course it's normal,the key is to keep communicating openly with each other about your feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this thread very enlightening.

I am in a relationship and having the best sex of my life. We talk about sex, try new things, laugh about the stuff that just isn't doing it for us and move on to something else. At the same time I'm with someone who I can also make love with, look in their eyes and feel a connection that literally lasts for days.

We joined fab because I have always been bi-curios and it's part of our "trying new things". While my partner has no interest in having sex with another women (for the reasons mentioned above) we will do it together rather than me going off on my own. It may happen, it may not, it's not the the driving force in our lives and we would walk away in an instant if we thought it would damage what we have.

We are in a very similar situation. Although as yet we have not actually involved any other people into our sex life.

We've been to a club and been social with other people though.

Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start?

Of course it's normal,the key is to keep communicating openly with each other about your feelings. "

This was what I was thinking.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this thread very enlightening.

I am in a relationship and having the best sex of my life. We talk about sex, try new things, laugh about the stuff that just isn't doing it for us and move on to something else. At the same time I'm with someone who I can also make love with, look in their eyes and feel a connection that literally lasts for days.

We joined fab because I have always been bi-curios and it's part of our "trying new things". While my partner has no interest in having sex with another women (for the reasons mentioned above) we will do it together rather than me going off on my own. It may happen, it may not, it's not the the driving force in our lives and we would walk away in an instant if we thought it would damage what we have.

We are in a very similar situation. Although as yet we have not actually involved any other people into our sex life.

We've been to a club and been social with other people though.

Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start?

Of course it's normal,the key is to keep communicating openly with each other about your feelings.

This was what I was thinking.

Thank you "

Yw, don't hide it if you feel uncomfortable or resentful or jealous, these are all normal, it's how you deal with them together that counts, being unafraid to show your partner your insecurities can have the unexpected bonus of strengthening your bond, it is the ultimate expression of trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start? "

We've been together since we were very young and are as in love and entwined in each other's lives and hearts as any couple we know. In fact some of our friends have put us on a bit of a pedestal, which can be a bit of a problem. We sympathise with your post and fretted over swinging ourselves for 2 or 3 years before saying "what the heck" and just jumping in. The effect was like looking down from a great height to the street below, scared silly about jumping down there, and then stepping out to realise it had been a floor painting of a view from a skyscraper all the time.

We were, quite frankly, stunned by how easy fun and utterly untroubling the experience was. We've been swinging for almost a year now and have yet to do anything that we feel remotely challenges our relationship. This is why we'd probably find it difficult to go back to a vanilla life, not because we're broken in some way but because it's such a no brainer about something that's just harmless fun and broader living

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By *harliebbwWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

either meet someone and bring them over to the dark side. or fine someone that you decide to embark to the next level whilst still swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im hoping to never have to choose. I hope that if I met someone he or she would want me to be me so would embrace an openly sexual lifestyle with me.

I also know theres a chance I'll meet someone who wows me so much I only ever want to be with them.

Either way I'll be happy because I will stay true to myself and will be open with my wants and desires.

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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

how do you define vanilla ?i dont think there are that many vanilla people out there monogamus yes but that doesnt make them vanilla

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"how do you define vanilla ?i dont think there are that many vanilla people out there monogamus yes but that doesnt make them vanilla"

Yes, it's interesting how some people assume that monogamy automatically indicates a lack of imagination or kink, what it really demonstrates is their own lack of imagination.

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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"how do you define vanilla ?i dont think there are that many vanilla people out there monogamus yes but that doesnt make them vanilla

Yes, it's interesting how some people assume that monogamy automatically indicates a lack of imagination or kink, what it really demonstrates is their own lack of imagination."

especially as most people tend to say they need trust to do the more kinky/extreme stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last night I did freak out a bit and was so scared it could affect what we already have. If I feel this way then maybe im not ready for fab and sharing my other half even though the thought really excites me.

Some days it's clear and I'm ready for our first experience, others I'm terrified of ruining our relationship.

Any thoughts? Is this perfectly normal to feel like this at the start?

We've been together since we were very young and are as in love and entwined in each other's lives and hearts as any couple we know. In fact some of our friends have put us on a bit of a pedestal, which can be a bit of a problem. We sympathise with your post and fretted over swinging ourselves for 2 or 3 years before saying "what the heck" and just jumping in. The effect was like looking down from a great height to the street below, scared silly about jumping down there, and then stepping out to realise it had been a floor painting of a view from a skyscraper all the time.

We were, quite frankly, stunned by how easy fun and utterly untroubling the experience was. We've been swinging for almost a year now and have yet to do anything that we feel remotely challenges our relationship. This is why we'd probably find it difficult to go back to a vanilla life, not because we're broken in some way but because it's such a no brainer about something that's just harmless fun and broader living "

Glad I'm not the only one who has felt like this.

Great advice xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/02/17 20:11:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Isn't it up to us whether we consider others playmates or playthings, last time I looked we still had free thought and free speech, anyone we have played with has 100% agreed to the NSA clause , so if a phrase offends you....pass us by, there's no place for childish attitudes in our grown up games "

I presume that playful minx point (certainly my opinion anyway) was we might be playing grown up games and agree to nsa but for us rather than no place for childish attitudes there is no place for selfish or superior attitudes which is what comes across when you condesendingly refer to your playmates as play things ... makes it appear that they are in some way inferior to you as a couple and their wants/ needs/ emotions are in no way considered by you at all ... pretty selfish approach for a scenario that should result in all round mutual fun surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the person. I'd be happy to have a non swinging relationship with Pete if we both got fed up of it because he's filthy enough to more than satisfy all of my needs anyway.

I can't imagine either of us wanting to truly give it up though, there's too much fun to be had!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah it's possible if u meet the right guy and it's a solid love / commitment

But...

These relationship things take a lot of work / sacrifice

Are u prepared to do that ??"

I personally *would* be prepared to do that. I seek a regular fwb someone who I can develop feelings for and it isn't met with "I can't see you any more now you have told me you love me!" Statements.

I guess I am polyamorous, and have a lot of love to give.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah it's possible if u meet the right guy and it's a solid love / commitment

But...

These relationship things take a lot of work / sacrifice

Are u prepared to do that ??

I personally *would* be prepared to do that. I seek a regular fwb someone who I can develop feelings for and it isn't met with "I can't see you any more now you have told me you love me!" Statements.

I guess I am polyamorous, and have a lot of love to give."

You're looking for a boyfriend then at that, not a FWB.

Id run a mile if my FWB mentioned the dreaded 'L' word.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Your fab ruined

There's no going back for you "

Damn

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Meet someone on Fab like we did !

Problem solved "

It does sound like the ideal solution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to find a fb friend who i can develop feelings for but we swing together. I really do not think I could be in a monagomous relationship after having this lifestyle for 4 years.

That said if the right person came along .. who knows but im not holding my breath.

I am sure it works for some and not for others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/17 22:21:31]

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out

Don't flatter yourself"

Don't worry Liam you'd still on my hotlist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id say no and it would be best to find somone who would like to be in a relationship with someone but who will let you and you let him have a sex with who they want and no jealousy involved .. when you can do that you've cracked it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. There's been time since joining and met someone and had a great time. It was only a few months but didn't end because of fab. We liked each other in and out of the bedroom, he enjoyed my forwardness. It didn't fail cause of fab or an inclination for me to come back. I'm sure if I met someone who gave what I sought without a doubt. I'd delete.

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By *ust Us TogetherCouple
over a year ago

Newport

The decision you really have to make is whether you have a relationship with a man who is either a swinger, potentially a swinger or vanilla....!

If he is vanilla and you don't tell him you are swinging then you are being a liar and a cheat and that is no basis for a relationship...

Is your opinion that all men will cheat based on the amount of men on here happily cheating on their partners? We are not all like that.

It is possible to have a really loving relationship that is fulfilling in every way and still swing and play within that relationship. It is all about confidence and trust in each other.

Don't go into a vanilla relationship if you know in your heart you will stray, it will just end in heartache.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/17 11:56:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out

Don't flatter yourself

Don't worry Liam you'd still on my hotlist "

Are you sure i'm allowed on there

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out

Don't flatter yourself

Don't worry Liam you'd still on my hotlist

Are you sure i'm allowed on there"

100% sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out

Don't flatter yourself

Don't worry Liam you'd still on my hotlist

Are you sure i'm allowed on there

100% sure

"

The forum police might be knocking your door soon

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town


"Fucking hell some people take fab too seriously

Log off and live in the real world

Didn't expect that sort of thing from you

Me either. Quite disappointed

Good filter thread in the end

You don't need to filter me

I know but I did think you were one of the decent guys.

Agreed. Even had him on my hotlist lol oh well one less to perv over I like it when the rubbish takes itself out

Don't flatter yourself

Don't worry Liam you'd still on my hotlist

Are you sure i'm allowed on there

100% sure

The forum police might be knocking your door soon"

I'm scared

About time we met sexy Liam

You know you want to

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