FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Finding a friend with benefits....

Jump to newest
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead

..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself a gf dude

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement."

Totally this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is tough OP, it's hard to mess around regularly with someone, enjoy their company socially and have the whole thing classed as not a relationship.

Emotions always come into it. Either you fall for them, or they fall for you. It's a symptom of that level of closeness I think.

I've had one successful FWB and it only really worked because we'd known each for years and lived in different cities.

I'm hoping to strike up something with a friend at the moment, but it's early days.

Good luck, it's not an easy arrangement to get going, or maintain

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a lovely fwb for a couple of years but it ended badly. Emotions come into play whether or not you intend them to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had one when I was single and it worked because he lived in Leeds yet came down here for work . We spent time together but didn't go out (cinema etc) as for me that would be too much like dating

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement."

That's my thoughts too. It also depends if you can agree ground rules as one might have different thoughts on what being a FB means to them. It can end up in a right tangled mess.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

More chance of joining Jason and finding the holy grail

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Mine happen randomly, rather than searching for them. I've had a few running up to 9 years in length.

Don't take them just because you can, it becomes a habit, or it's better than nothing etc. Explore and evaluate if it would work.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From personal experience I would say FWB more often than not end up with someone getting hurt ,but i still have some very good female friends who were FWB's in the past. Just remember that you both need to be 100% honest with each other on what your both wanting/looking for.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get yourself a gf dude"

why should he?

he's not looking for a girlfriend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it hard enough just to find friends.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it hard enough just to find friends. "

oh behave

you have friends

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find it hard enough just to find friends.

oh behave

you have friends

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Just don't.

Either find someone to date properly or not at all.

The heartbreak at the end isn't worth it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement."

you don't have to pick up their dirty pants off the floor and wash them?

i enjoy friends with benefits, feelings sometimes creep in but it's not as threatening as a relationship, to me.

main problem, to me and with some men, is that you need to maintain that you are interested in the woman you're fucking/wanting to fuck otherwise she will presume you've lost interest and just replace you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"Get yourself a gf dude

why should he?

he's not looking for a girlfriend "

Thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

No its not, I've been on here for years and never found a regular meet, I used to want one but I've decided one offs are much less hassle so I stick to those now days

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too much emotion involved. One party will always feel more than the other.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I have 4 of them just now all of whom i met on here and it works perfectly, you just set rules early and be an adult. Zero need for complication, drama or hurt.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him! "

Haha I know I've given his pics a good perve in the past

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

Move East! I think it's down to serendipity to be honest, it happened a different way for me each time. I try only to meet people who seem to be interested in the deeper aspects of me now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement.

you don't have to pick up their dirty pants off the floor and wash them?

i enjoy friends with benefits, feelings sometimes creep in but it's not as threatening as a relationship, to me.

main problem, to me and with some men, is that you need to maintain that you are interested in the woman you're fucking/wanting to fuck otherwise she will presume you've lost interest and just replace you."

Frankly, if I were that "interested", I'd be dating them. One-off fucks are far more honest to me, nobody gets the impression they might mean anything.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him! "

bloody tasty

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a few FWB. As long as you both know that's all you are from the start, it can work extremely well, without any issues, any emotional hassle or upsets, and no drama.

Good luck OP in finding what you seek.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement.

you don't have to pick up their dirty pants off the floor and wash them?

i enjoy friends with benefits, feelings sometimes creep in but it's not as threatening as a relationship, to me.

main problem, to me and with some men, is that you need to maintain that you are interested in the woman you're fucking/wanting to fuck otherwise she will presume you've lost interest and just replace you.

Frankly, if I were that "interested", I'd be dating them. One-off fucks are far more honest to me, nobody gets the impression they might mean anything."

i've been fucking an attached guy for years, there's no pretences there.

i can also tell the difference between a guy staying friends to keep you hanging and one who genuinely makes you feel desired. last one is more my type of meet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

This is what I want too in a ideal world. I'm not willing to make myself emotionally available for a relationship again, but would like to build a certain level of trust and companionship with someone.

I want the highs without the lows.

I'm optimistic (read deluded) aren't I

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement.

you don't have to pick up their dirty pants off the floor and wash them?

i enjoy friends with benefits, feelings sometimes creep in but it's not as threatening as a relationship, to me.

main problem, to me and with some men, is that you need to maintain that you are interested in the woman you're fucking/wanting to fuck otherwise she will presume you've lost interest and just replace you.

Frankly, if I were that "interested", I'd be dating them. One-off fucks are far more honest to me, nobody gets the impression they might mean anything.

i've been fucking an attached guy for years, there's no pretences there.

i can also tell the difference between a guy staying friends to keep you hanging and one who genuinely makes you feel desired. last one is more my type of meet."

Whatever suits you, for me, I'm not interested in friendships predicated on either party being a handy shag.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him! "

Yep, op is a hottie looking at those pics

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

This is what I want too in a ideal world. I'm not willing to make myself emotionally available for a relationship again, but would like to build a certain level of trust and companionship with someone.

I want the highs without the lows.

I'm optimistic (read deluded) aren't I "

So, what you essentially want is all the benefits of a relationship with zero emotional risk - see the problem there?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead

Thanks for all your replies, reading them all with interest.

I guess I knew that generally the responses wouldn't be too promising; I am, however, an optimist so keeping my fingers crossed.

Very flattered by those who think I look good for 50 by the way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him! "

Yep, great body

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

This is what I want too in a ideal world. I'm not willing to make myself emotionally available for a relationship again, but would like to build a certain level of trust and companionship with someone.

I want the highs without the lows.

I'm optimistic (read deluded) aren't I "
.

You and me both. I had one recently, it was agreed we enjoyed sex with each other and would go to clubs together, but what's the point when he kept letting me down at the last minute Meets were only ever on his contact. Not worth the hassle

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement.

you don't have to pick up their dirty pants off the floor and wash them?

i enjoy friends with benefits, feelings sometimes creep in but it's not as threatening as a relationship, to me.

main problem, to me and with some men, is that you need to maintain that you are interested in the woman you're fucking/wanting to fuck otherwise she will presume you've lost interest and just replace you.

Frankly, if I were that "interested", I'd be dating them. One-off fucks are far more honest to me, nobody gets the impression they might mean anything.

i've been fucking an attached guy for years, there's no pretences there.

i can also tell the difference between a guy staying friends to keep you hanging and one who genuinely makes you feel desired. last one is more my type of meet.

Whatever suits you, for me, I'm not interested in friendships predicated on either party being a handy shag."

me neither. it's why i still seek a relationship away from this. but it'll do until then.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get yourself a gf dude

why should he?

he's not looking for a girlfriend "

No because he is already in a relationship x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a lovely fwb for a couple of years but it ended badly. Emotions come into play whether or not you intend them to.

"

Same here XXX

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all your replies, reading them all with interest.

I guess I knew that generally the responses wouldn't be too promising; I am, however, an optimist so keeping my fingers crossed.

Very flattered by those who think I look good for 50 by the way "

You and me both think I've more chance of finding rocking horse poo!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get yourself a gf dude

why should he?

he's not looking for a girlfriend

No because he is already in a relationship x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile! "

Why is the fact he is in a relationship relevant to this thread? OP is simply saying what he is hoping to find.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Get yourself a gf dude

why should he?

he's not looking for a girlfriend

No because he is already in a relationship x"

Precisely why he only wants a FWB. He is allowed to if that's what he chooses.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him! "

I did not notice that till you said it! Well well now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him!

I did not notice that till you said it! Well well now "

I noticed it right away

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him!

I did not notice that till you said it! Well well now

I noticed it right away "

I've just had to have a look now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

It's tuff but not impossible, theres afew of us looking for one ,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Similar to others here the fwb thing always ends badly.

It doesn't matter how clearly defined the arrangement is someone inevitably gets hurt.

My last fwb couldn't accept I was getting married, he got all weird and stuff got messy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been seeing my fwb for 5 months now...we do love eachother...but know the difference between that and being in love...we do coupley stuff, go to the pub, eat dinner, snuggle n watch crappy tv...but we don't want to take it anywhere else...I don't want to be his gf and he doesn't want to be me bf...we are fine with that....we get all the good stuff and none of the crap...and talk about it openly on a regular basis...and we see eachother almost every day...I have a very high sex drive and he is willing to help me with that...and due to the connection we have, the sex is mind blowing...for both of us....why would we not be up for that? This sounds like I am showing off huh? anyway... Hope you find what you are looking for OP...and you really do look pretty freakin good

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him!

I did not notice that till you said it! Well well now

I noticed it right away

I've just had to have a look now "

Just flattering camera angles ladies

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"I have been seeing my fwb for 5 months now...we do love eachother...but know the difference between that and being in love...we do coupley stuff, go to the pub, eat dinner, snuggle n watch crappy tv...but we don't want to take it anywhere else...I don't want to be his gf and he doesn't want to be me bf...we are fine with that....we get all the good stuff and none of the crap...and talk about it openly on a regular basis...and we see eachother almost every day...I have a very high sex drive and he is willing to help me with that...and due to the connection we have, the sex is mind blowing...for both of us....why would we not be up for that? This sounds like I am showing off huh? anyway... Hope you find what you are looking for OP...and you really do look pretty freakin good "

wish more people realised just coz you love them you don't wanna settle down with them. think it would make fwb a lot better and less stressful and none of this 'run away' stuff would get mentioned.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck here in finding fb but it hard the key is be patience one will come along for you that's for sure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "
have several

i know not very helpful, but i wouldn't meet one offs..i was just honest about what i wanted and didnt get distracted by anything else..some i see more casually than others but i would classify them as friends, we keep in communication, we respect and care about each other. but i and they don't want exclusivity or a full blown relationship. i feel i can love lots of people, doesn't mean i want to shack up with them though. but then i like this lifestyle, im not waiting on prince charming to whisk me off to another reality, i am immersed in this, as my reality . its really about knowing yourself and what you can and cant handle imo..i cant just fuck and go,it does nothing for me, so i don't...unless im being sub with my Dom. or playing as a couple with someone. 121 though nah...not for me x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile!

Why is the fact he is in a relationship relevant to this thread? OP is simply saying what he is hoping to find."

Because someone mentioned he should get a girlfriend!!!

How come you didn't pick up on another poster mentioning it before me?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile!

Why is the fact he is in a relationship relevant to this thread? OP is simply saying what he is hoping to find.

Because someone mentioned he should get a girlfriend!!!

How come you didn't pick up on another poster mentioning it before me? "

Please don't take offense. I probably noticed your comment because I scroll upwards from newest first, plus exclamation marks always makes a comment much more noticeable.

Plus he may want two girlfriends.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile!

Why is the fact he is in a relationship relevant to this thread? OP is simply saying what he is hoping to find.

Because someone mentioned he should get a girlfriend!!!

How come you didn't pick up on another poster mentioning it before me?

Please don't take offense. I probably noticed your comment because I scroll upwards from newest first, plus exclamation marks always makes a comment much more noticeable.

Plus he may want two girlfriends. "

No, I don't think it's 2 girlfriends that I want. I'm not great at sex that's devoid of all emotion, so I'd prefer it was with someone who is a friend..... Make sense at all?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile!

Why is the fact he is in a relationship relevant to this thread? OP is simply saying what he is hoping to find.

Because someone mentioned he should get a girlfriend!!!

How come you didn't pick up on another poster mentioning it before me?

Please don't take offense. I probably noticed your comment because I scroll upwards from newest first, plus exclamation marks always makes a comment much more noticeable.

Plus he may want two girlfriends.

No, I don't think it's 2 girlfriends that I want. I'm not great at sex that's devoid of all emotion, so I'd prefer it was with someone who is a friend..... Make sense at all?"

Yea totally....a FWB

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Lucky you!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell me about it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"I've got a fwb. Been meeting for nearly two years.

It works well for us. We keep it pretty simple. We message a couple of times per day, meet as and when we can but purely just for amazing sex!!

Every so often we have a little chat to make sure it's still working for both of us.

If it were to come to an end then yes I'd be sad. I'd get over it and move on, wouldn't be the first time!!

We're both adults and keep our emotions in check.

Btw, op is in a relationship. Check out the profile!

Why is the fact he is in a relationship relevant to this thread? OP is simply saying what he is hoping to find.

Because someone mentioned he should get a girlfriend!!!

How come you didn't pick up on another poster mentioning it before me?

Please don't take offense. I probably noticed your comment because I scroll upwards from newest first, plus exclamation marks always makes a comment much more noticeable.

Plus he may want two girlfriends.

No, I don't think it's 2 girlfriends that I want. I'm not great at sex that's devoid of all emotion, so I'd prefer it was with someone who is a friend..... Make sense at all?

Yea totally....a FWB "

Yep! That's it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best fwb have been guys that I'd had a relationship with previously. I think as fwb they worked so well with no heart ache because we'd got the emotions out of the way right at the beginning. We'd discovered we weren't going to work as bf/gf but liked hanging out and having sex, it was great! Not that that's much help op

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

"

But for some of us it does work.

You need to find the right person, that's why they don't always work!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

"
everyone wants their cake and to eat it, trick is to find someone who happily offers a satisfying slice of that cake and likes the slice of yours you are offering..compatibility and chemistry and knowing your own mind and emotional limits.. mine work, thanks..so far...if an ending comes i wont regret my time with them because it was awesome and they were valued and cherished while i had them on my path. thats life, nothing is permanent...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago

•+• Access Denied •+•


"Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

But for some of us it does work.

You need to find the right person, that's why they don't always work! "

exactly.

isn't just fucking someone else already getting relationship perks in the first place?

some of us want all the other perks that come from that and none of boring stuff or the bullshit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"My best fwb have been guys that I'd had a relationship with previously. I think as fwb they worked so well with no heart ache because we'd got the emotions out of the way right at the beginning. We'd discovered we weren't going to work as bf/gf but liked hanging out and having sex, it was great! Not that that's much help op "

No, but I do get that completely.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

everyone wants their cake and to eat it, trick is to find someone who happily offers a satisfying slice of that cake and likes the slice of yours you are offering..compatibility and chemistry and knowing your own mind and emotional limits.. mine work, thanks..so far...if an ending comes i wont regret my time with them because it was awesome and they were valued and cherished while i had them on my path. thats life, nothing is permanent..."

exact

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

everyone wants their cake and to eat it, trick is to find someone who happily offers a satisfying slice of that cake and likes the slice of yours you are offering..compatibility and chemistry and knowing your own mind and emotional limits.. mine work, thanks..so far...if an ending comes i wont regret my time with them because it was awesome and they were valued and cherished while i had them on my path. thats life, nothing is permanent..."

You're right about nothing being permanent. But only in this game..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like people wanting boyfriend's or girlfriends on their terms and conditions to me

Can understand why they don't work out

everyone wants their cake and to eat it, trick is to find someone who happily offers a satisfying slice of that cake and likes the slice of yours you are offering..compatibility and chemistry and knowing your own mind and emotional limits.. mine work, thanks..so far...if an ending comes i wont regret my time with them because it was awesome and they were valued and cherished while i had them on my path. thats life, nothing is permanent...

You're right about nothing being permanent. But only in this game.."

Not much in life is guaranteed to be permanent, so just live for the day and the future will be what it will be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont think you can search for this - it just happens

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

I'm looking for exactly the same thing. Not sure why you've had the reaction from some people that you have, I think people wanting a friend with benefits or even a lover where emotions come into play isn't that shocking on a site like this?! We all have needs, physical and emotional but not everyone has the time to dedicate to a full relationship. Some of already have the full relationship but are greedy and want more too!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

If you can't get one OP.. we have no chance

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

I have in my time had many friends with benefits, still friends with most of them now, we have many friends in the scene who we regularly play with.

For me personally I think if you can't engage in casual sex without falling in love then don't do it. Or do it and understand you will fall in love but it isn't going anywhere and you will probably be left feeling empty and unhappy.

I personally have a great love for my friends, all of them not just those with benefits, but I would never say I was in love with them. I guess the problem is finding someone who has a similar outlook. But I'm sure you will OP. Good luck!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

If you can't get one OP.. we have no chance "

Umm, not sure I know what you mean :-/

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *est Wales WifeCouple
over a year ago

Near Carmarthen


"..... It's not easy is it?

"

It's proving very difficult here too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's way harder than I ever imagined it could be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you find what your looking for ,but in my experience a Fwb is normally that ..someone that's started as a friend you've known for a while and it happens once ..you both enjoy it get stuck at a loose end and do it again ,talk about it ,how it works and no commitment is offered or wanted ..happy days ...until one feels something they shouldn't or falls for someone else then stops all the fun ....either way just enjoy life sometimes when we stop looking we actually find

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UCKY 69Man
over a year ago

norwich


"Get yourself a gf dude

why should he?

he's not looking for a girlfriend "

True xx good point

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself on a dating site. Met a few who just wanted just sex. Purely sex. Still friends to this day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's way harder than I ever imagined it could be "

Fnarr Fnarr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him! "

Thanks for the tip sister I don;t usually go perving but i will now.. Sorry OP i'm objectifying you now but in a damn good way!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My oh my OP I'd risk my emotional well being alright.. Anyway I'm sure there's someone with a similar thought as you...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"Umm op is 50 Hell of a shape on him!

Thanks for the tip sister I don;t usually go perving but i will now.. Sorry OP i'm objectifying you now but in a damn good way!!!"

I'm beginning to feel used

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead

Thanks for all the comments; some have been helpful and all have been interesting

Bumping up just in case anyone has anything else to say on the subject.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

It's tough doing the whole Feb thing,I met a lovely woman through a different site and we enjoyed eachothers company and mind blowing sex,then the i love you came out of her mouth and she felt so embarrassed I was shocked.i had feelings for her but it all started going down hill.i lost a lovely lady with a beautiful mind and a great friend.oh well sorry for the miserable comment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"It's tough doing the whole Feb thing,I met a lovely woman through a different site and we enjoyed eachothers company and mind blowing sex,then the i love you came out of her mouth and she felt so embarrassed I was shocked.i had feelings for her but it all started going down hill.i lost a lovely lady with a beautiful mind and a great friend.oh well sorry for the miserable comment."

Aww that is a sad story

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle Miss Peachy LolaWoman
over a year ago

Tyne and Wear

With that body ill be anything you want me to! Lol I was in a fwb arrangement for 4 years we knew each other for 10years in total i moved up north and we found were really attracted to each other..4 years on we both changed as people and i found myself dreading his visits because it wasnt going anywhere and the atraction wasnt there for me anymore...now we dont speak to each other. 10 year friendship ruined. Best to stick to rules and be clear that if it is a bwf then nothing else is expected out of it including weekends in the lakes and romantic dinners....you are gorgeous

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a lovely lady off here a few yrs ago and we became great friend's and we fulfilled a few of each other's fantasies, and then emotions started to get in the way and I enjoyed being with her but she said she wanted more than sex and just friendship and it all went wrong in the end, what you Nedd to do is find yourself a women who is looking for the same thing's as you and is opened like you or else it will not work out and you need to be happy to see her being with other people if that's your thing of course

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement."

I can. You obviously see things your way and others see it their way.

For me I do not want a boyfriend or any serious relationship. I do however miss male company consisting of a high sex life with one guy, someone to go on nights/days out with if we fancy that but do not want to go out with a real life day to day friends nor family, movie nights in or out and of course sexy sleepovers.

I'm not interested in one night stands nor a call up, quick leg over and go fuck buddy type of thing.

A friend and benefits for me is someone I get on well with, have a genuine laugh with but no suffocating lovey dovey stuff, no ties and no expectations towards someone that I have to make time for and effort towards like you would have to for a real boyfriend. I love being single.

Just want a friend that i can hang out and have great sex with! This can be achieved because I've had an genuine friend with benefits before.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

I find it much easier to find than casual sex with strangers.

If you want a 'friend' with benefits - then you need to start looking at your friends first.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

I find it much easier to find than casual sex with strangers.

If you want a 'friend' with benefits - then you need to start looking at your friends first. "

Right..... So first in need friends!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

My meets have stayed close friends (apart from those I ran a mile from) so that shows FWB works. It's the only way for me too. You need to know the person and find common ground. We are all different and it's nice seeing a male 'voicing' his feelings about how he enjoys sex. Stick to your ways

*gets a plane ticket*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

My meets have stayed close friends (apart from those I ran a mile from) so that shows FWB works. It's the only way for me too. You need to know the person and find common ground. We are all different and it's nice seeing a male 'voicing' his feelings about how he enjoys sex. Stick to your ways

*gets a plane ticket* "

Hehe or maybe learn to fly thank you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

My meets have stayed close friends (apart from those I ran a mile from) so that shows FWB works. It's the only way for me too. You need to know the person and find common ground. We are all different and it's nice seeing a male 'voicing' his feelings about how he enjoys sex. Stick to your ways

*gets a plane ticket*

Hehe or maybe learn to fly thank you x"

Mwah x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilentgirlWoman
over a year ago

That place in

I have a FWB that I meet here, we just clicked and knew we would be together so we had a grow up chat

We both don't want a relationship and we are 100% honest with each other and that helps, we play as a couple and solo, we don't 'date' but when we meet up we enjoy out time together and there at least one 'u ok' text most days, found a nice friend and be nice if we will stay friends if we stop playing together, time will tell

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"To my mind, it's asking someone to risk the emotional highs and lows of a relationship without the commitment. I can't see any reason to enter into such an arrangement.

I can. You obviously see things your way and others see it their way.

For me I do not want a boyfriend or any serious relationship. I do however miss male company consisting of a high sex life with one guy, someone to go on nights/days out with if we fancy that but do not want to go out with a real life day to day friends nor family, movie nights in or out and of course sexy sleepovers.

I'm not interested in one night stands nor a call up, quick leg over and go fuck buddy type of thing.

A friend and benefits for me is someone I get on well with, have a genuine laugh with but no suffocating lovey dovey stuff, no ties and no expectations towards someone that I have to make time for and effort towards like you would have to for a real boyfriend. I love being single.

Just want a friend that i can hang out and have great sex with! This can be achieved because I've had an genuine friend with benefits before."

Thanks, you have really encouraged me that a fwb can be found and maintained if the right 2 people are involved.

I hope you find yours

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have several friends on benefits...... lazy twats

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"I have several friends on benefits...... lazy twats "

Hehe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"I have a FWB that I meet here, we just clicked and knew we would be together so we had a grow up chat

We both don't want a relationship and we are 100% honest with each other and that helps, we play as a couple and solo, we don't 'date' but when we meet up we enjoy out time together and there at least one 'u ok' text most days, found a nice friend and be nice if we will stay friends if we stop playing together, time will tell "

Meeting the right person and being friends does seem to be a big part of it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *evnorMan
over a year ago

normanton

As long as your both honest with what your wanting or expecting then I don't see difficulty in having a fuck buddy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True. I had one who liked Sci fi so we exchanged book abd dvds as well as cuddles. If you both know how things will be it works.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

I would love a FWB! Someone who I could connect with on other levels as well as on a sexual level would be great! They do seem to be few and far between tho unfortunately!

Pity you are too far away OP but I wish you luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle giraffe OP   Man
over a year ago

Minehead


"I would love a FWB! Someone who I could connect with on other levels as well as on a sexual level would be great! They do seem to be few and far between tho unfortunately!

Pity you are too far away OP but I wish you luck "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want an fwb and its so hard to find!

I did have one and we had such fun we went out on dates and days out, he even drove me to get my puppy, all the time he said he liked me but wasnt in a place that he could date, all was going well but then he had to 'work lots' so couldnt see me so much and even though we never added on fb he would come up as a contact then one day disappeared which i thought was odd.

Checked on my work fb and his profile came up woman in pic and in a relationship with her! Yes we were fwb's but the lying and deception was horrid and made me feel so used, so whilst I want the companionship I am wary of being hurt again

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow


"I want an fwb and its so hard to find!

I did have one and we had such fun we went out on dates and days out, he even drove me to get my puppy, all the time he said he liked me but wasnt in a place that he could date, all was going well but then he had to 'work lots' so couldnt see me so much and even though we never added on fb he would come up as a contact then one day disappeared which i thought was odd.

Checked on my work fb and his profile came up woman in pic and in a relationship with her! Yes we were fwb's but the lying and deception was horrid and made me feel so used, so whilst I want the companionship I am wary of being hurt again "

I know what you mean. I don't want a relationship just an Fb but also want someone who won't let me down and lie. It's too much to ask nowadays sadly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilentgirlWoman
over a year ago

That place in


"I have a FWB that I meet here, we just clicked and knew we would be together so we had a grow up chat

We both don't want a relationship and we are 100% honest with each other and that helps, we play as a couple and solo, we don't 'date' but when we meet up we enjoy out time together and there at least one 'u ok' text most days, found a nice friend and be nice if we will stay friends if we stop playing together, time will tell

Meeting the right person and being friends does seem to be a big part of it "

Very much so, as the sex is better lol I have had one night stands that were bad that I left right away, now I get the best of both worlds

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *weetChariotMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe


"Just don't.

Either find someone to date properly or not at all.

The heartbreak at the end isn't worth it "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

I've found having a few regulars works for me. One just isn't enough and they all give me something different

Certainly not looking for anyone to get emotionally involved with me therefore I think more than one is necessary x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I've had a few fwb over the years I've been on here. I didn't know one was married but we had an attraction to each other, met every week, played as a couple on here too. Other guy was into polygamy so he knew I saw other people and I knew he did too. Had some great fun with him too.

They can work and you can't go looking for one I don't think. They just happen to become regular fun.

Good luck finding what you want. Polygamy can work for those who want to share.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

I've found having a few regulars works for me. One just isn't enough and they all give me something different

Certainly not looking for anyone to get emotionally involved with me therefore I think more than one is necessary x"

Wow you sound like the perfect lady. Would love to see a woman that I don't have exclusive access to.. A lady that is clear that one guy is not enough.. You look amazing as well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

I've found having a few regulars works for me. One just isn't enough and they all give me something different

Certainly not looking for anyone to get emotionally involved with me therefore I think more than one is necessary x

Wow you sound like the perfect lady. Would love to see a woman that I don't have exclusive access to.. A lady that is clear that one guy is not enough.. You look amazing as well.

"

It's working well for me. I've found some good fellas with the right attitude. We seem to want the same thing, at the mo. I'm aware it won't last forever and that people move on, I have nor want any hold on these men. Just great hot sexy fun.

Thank you xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received

I've found having a few regulars works for me. One just isn't enough and they all give me something different

Certainly not looking for anyone to get emotionally involved with me therefore I think more than one is necessary x

Wow you sound like the perfect lady. Would love to see a woman that I don't have exclusive access to.. A lady that is clear that one guy is not enough.. You look amazing as well.

It's working well for me. I've found some good fellas with the right attitude. We seem to want the same thing, at the mo. I'm aware it won't last forever and that people move on, I have nor want any hold on these men. Just great hot sexy fun.

Thank you xx"

Your welcome, think your stunning.. Would love to chat with you. Unorthodox approach I know but what a great outlook

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

Your profile says you're in a relationship. Although I have a few fbs I wouldn't do it with someone attached. I want convenience. Not having to fit around a third person, whether you are playing with permission or not. I'll make allowances for people's kids, but not a partner

it's just not worth the hassle. I think women in our age group aren't as open to other as younger people


"..... It's not easy is it?

I'm not looking for one offs, I would prefer to find someone where a friendship develops too.

Any help or thoughts very gratefully received "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its like finding a needle in a haystack!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its like finding a needle in a haystack! "

Or 2 needles in a haystack in our case ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Hmmmmm for me it would go like this....

- Oooooh I like your profile pic

- Click to read profile

- See you're in a relationship with Pink

- Think "hey ho"

- Move on

The reason is that FWB relationships are hard. They involve feelings. I'd not enter into one with someone already in a relationship. A hugely complex area that isn't quite poly, isn't an affair, isn't an open relationship. Sooooo many opportunities to fuck up and get hurt.

I'm sure it'll work on some level for someone. But I think you'd have to be pretty immune to falling for someone.

V xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top