FabSwingers.com forum: Wasting time.

By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Ive just talked myself out of a perfectly good convo.. guy seems honest, veris say he's up for 'it', comes across as experienced, honest and friendly.

But I read too much and decided I would be a waste of his time and told him as much. Because I can't live up to his veris and I am not his standard.

He was very polite and non pushy and I think he has taken it that I don't like him.

Been on this site for ages had a few good convos but nothing ever goes anywhere and I end up feeling I'm being easy if I have chased up on a social or a potential meet.

My confidence has taken such a knock on this site. And i was expecting the opposite effect :S

But seriously damn it!

He let me shut the convo down... So he's the sort you can trust to listen to you and respond appropriately.

Just damn it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys like that seem quite a rare thing on here, why not just meet for a no pressure social? You seem to be overthinking things rather than just going for it.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Don't worry; he won't think any the less of you if he is as nice and experienced in here as you think he is. We get used to chats going nowhere in here, it's not personal

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By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Over thinking is what I do. I cant help it just wish it didn't ruin everything lol.

And convos not going anywhere not being personal.... It feels like it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all need a very thick skin in here. Hugs. Xx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over thinking is what I do. I cant help it just wish it didn't ruin everything lol.

And convos not going anywhere not being personal.... It feels like it is"

If that's how you are then it is difficult to change I understand that. Conversations going nowhere used to frustrate me but now I don't really exect anything from here so if something does come of it, I'm pleasantly surprised and its a bonus.

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By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

But how do you develop a thick skin without being dismissive.

Fab is soo much better than other sites/communities

Life is hard wearing and sometimes it feels very hard to give anything a chance .. how do you choose when to and when not to..

I'm not a chase every lead sort of girl

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By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

" Conversations going nowhere used to frustrate me but now I don't really exect anything from here so if something does come of it, I'm pleasantly surprised and its a bonus."

I think this is a good tactic.

I seen to have got really good at shutting convos down with those I'm not intrested in.

And expect so little on this site now that I've just been dismissive.

I like your suggestion. Its more laid back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Conversations going nowhere used to frustrate me but now I don't really exect anything from here so if something does come of it, I'm pleasantly surprised and its a bonus.

I think this is a good tactic.

I seen to have got really good at shutting convos down with those I'm not intrested in.

And expect so little on this site now that I've just been dismissive.

I like your suggestion. Its more laid back

Its good to be laid back, whatever happens happens, don't stress in life, its pointless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you look great on your pics and have done a good job with your profile and the text. Think anyone would be lucky to meet with you.

Like someone else said have a no pressure no expectation social an see how you feel after that. If I was closer to Hull I would definitely be offering to take you out

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By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Thanks everyone.

I feel the pressure as soon as I receive a message.

I'll try to adopt your approach more

A no pressure social

Think I'll only look for that... That way i can maybe be a little more at ease with myself.

Thankyou all xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks everyone.

I feel the pressure as soon as I receive a message.

I'll try to adopt your approach more

A no pressure social

Think I'll only look for that... That way i can maybe be a little more at ease with myself.

Thankyou all xx"

Why not block guys and search yourself, its works very well for me and you know you're not going to log onto lots of messages you may feel obliged to reply to even if not interested?

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By *ikstupp2Man
over a year ago

london

"Ive just talked myself out of a perfectly good convo.. guy seems honest, veris say he's up for 'it', comes across as experienced, honest and friendly.

But I read too much and decided I would be a waste of his time and told him as much. Because I can't live up to his veris and I am not his standard.

He was very polite and non pushy and I think he has taken it that I don't like him.

Been on this site for ages had a few good convos but nothing ever goes anywhere and I end up feeling I'm being easy if I have chased up on a social or a potential meet.

My confidence has taken such a knock on this site. And i was expecting the opposite effect :S

But seriously damn it!

He let me shut the convo down... So he's the sort you can trust to listen to you and respond appropriately.

Just damn it. "

U have no reason to lose confidence u look amazing but u have to realise girls that don't follow up usually arnt interested, us blokes on here get a lot of that. Sometimes it pays to be forward, keep trying itl happen

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By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Why not block guys and search yourself, its works very well for me and you know you're not going to log onto lots of messages you may feel obliged to reply to even if not interested?"

Ohhhh genius advice why did I not think of that!

I understand guys have it hard on this site but females inboxs are not an altogether good experience either.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn your thinking around....

if you shut down what seems to be a good conversation how can it proceed to something more?

If you assume that you are not good enough even when a guy engages in conversation with you how can it progress .... isn't the fact that he has messaged and engaged in chat a big enough hint that he thinks you're "good enough"?

If you have a good social/meet but don't follow up how is the guy to know that you are still interested, maybe he won't follow up because he doesn't want to come across as pushy and leaves the ball in your court? You've got nothing to lose by sending a friendly message saying you enjoyed his company.

Whether it's a message, chat, social or meet try to enjoy it for what it is and see where it goes naturally rather than sabotaging it without giving it a chance.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Over thinking is what I do. I cant help it just wish it didn't ruin everything lol.

And convos not going anywhere not being personal.... It feels like it is"

I over-think things all the time too, and have talked myself out of quite a lot of meets... It sucks, but I'm hoping to meet someone who can help me improve my confidence etc... Not necessarily meet them on here lol, but I definitely need that boost... You look lovely though, I'm sure you'd wow any guy you meet x

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

You look great & as said your profile is fine. I'd be inclined to block the guys too, for every nice message you'll get ten shit ones, Then factor in that possibly 50% of nice messages are from people that aren't and your strike to time ratio is down the toilet.

With regard to veris take most with a large pinch of salt. Its a bit like EBay, it pays those leaving stunning ones just as much as those they are left for hence you'll rarely see "He tuned up" or "He came, He cum, he went!".

Good Luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just talked myself out of a perfectly good convo.. guy seems honest, veris say he's up for 'it', comes across as experienced, honest and friendly.

But I read too much and decided I would be a waste of his time and told him as much. Because I can't live up to his veris and I am not his standard.

He was very polite and non pushy and I think he has taken it that I don't like him.

Been on this site for ages had a few good convos but nothing ever goes anywhere and I end up feeling I'm being easy if I have chased up on a social or a potential meet.

My confidence has taken such a knock on this site. And i was expecting the opposite effect :S

But seriously damn it!

He let me shut the convo down... So he's the sort you can trust to listen to you and respond appropriately.

Just damn it. "

I have blocked everyone and do my own searches which has worked very well for me. I also insist on a social with no play so there's no pressure

You feel 'easy' on a swingers site? If I like someone I will chase to a point but can't be doing with boys playing games

I would advise that you contact him again, at least then you'll know one way or the other.

Yr pics are fab and yr should have no bother, just relax and enjoy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just talked myself out of a perfectly good convo.. guy seems honest, veris say he's up for 'it', comes across as experienced, honest and friendly.

But I read too much and decided I would be a waste of his time and told him as much. Because I can't live up to his veris and I am not his standard.

He was very polite and non pushy and I think he has taken it that I don't like him.

Been on this site for ages had a few good convos but nothing ever goes anywhere and I end up feeling I'm being easy if I have chased up on a social or a potential meet.

My confidence has taken such a knock on this site. And i was expecting the opposite effect :S

But seriously damn it!

He let me shut the convo down... So he's the sort you can trust to listen to you and respond appropriately.

Just damn it. "

Hell I'd love to meet you, but I guess I'm too old.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So why don't you turn it round and have a criteria basis. It sounds as if you don't really know what you're looking for.

Write down what a perfect result from a chat would be. Can be anything from not interested in meeting at all to having a sexual meet.

List the attributes you're looking for from a guy that would get you to where you need to be and then look for those in the messages. They might be raw physical attraction, the ability to hold good conversation, anything really.

You sound as though you're beating yourself up for no reason. Not selecting guys at all isn't a crime!!

Your mind, your body, your pace.

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

I know it's been said before but it is tough on here for guys.

If a lady shuts the conversation down the general consensus is that 'we must accept it' and move on. If we try and keep things ticking along we accused of 'not accepting' and come in for quite a lot of criticism on here.

Also if the guy is like myself, then I hate to think that I might be pestering you, it's the last thing I would want!

Maybe offer an olive branch back and he'll pick up on your vibe?

Nice profile too OP

Hope it works out for the best

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By *onforming_deviant OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Your mind, your body, your pace. "

Thankyou everyone.

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