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"Can u block couples and women ... " If i do that does that mean they cant view my profile at all do i just not show up in searches? | |||
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"Not sure if this is the right forum for this but im becoming so upset. Last year i met someone very local we got on great and became amazing friends with some benefits i even got him a job at my place of work when he lost his and things where great. But recently a member on here who knows my friend and has wanted him for a while is causing so much trouble and making my life miserable i have hidden my profile but they are still able to view what im doing and reporting it all back to my friend who then believes this person over me knowing they are causing trouble he wont even give me this persons user name so i can block them as he "doesnt want to stir trouble" we are currently not on speaking terms because of this person but i have to work with them and knowing they are mad at me just hurts alot especially because ive done nothing wrong. God its only Monday and I want this week too be over with. " Ouch ! There are mostly amazingly nice people on here but as with all walks of life jealousy eats some people up I know it's hard ... I've had my fair share of it too but don't let their nastiness spoil your fun The more you show you are bothered the more they will try to antagonise ... that's what bullies do isn't it ? Stick 2 fingers up and carry on Hun x | |||
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"But as you have to work with them that's why you have to strip it back to that By doing so you make it clear that conversation/questions about your personal life are not open for discussion Your right its not my concern who they believe i know i havent done any thing wrong thats all that matters " | |||
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"Its more the fact that me and my "friend" can no longer have a conversation without him trying to catch me out if ive lied about things or not because this person has messaged him calling me a user and that I'm only his friend till something better comes along etc" He is obviously not 'a friend'. A friend tries to listen to your side of the story and has your back! Weird that he doesn't even want you to be able to block them! Speak to admin and try to have his IP blocked so he can't contact you. Report/block any abusive messages from anyone. Cut the 'friend' ties, block your perso phone too and bring it back to professional relationship. Only speak about work if you must. You owe him no explanation on the rest. Good luck OP x | |||
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"Put your profile live , point them in the direction of this post , walk away and carry on having fun " S You don't run from cowards xx | |||
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"How does this other party know what you are up to in order to be able to report back? I don't understand. " Me too...unless you keep posting what you do like a running commentary....? | |||
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"How does this other party know what you are up to in order to be able to report back? I don't understand. " I thought that too. Im thinking maybe your ' friend' is the one watching what you do and has become a bit 'posessive' or even unstable. Maybe the other person doesnt actually exist. Either way, choose a new friend | |||
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"How does this other party know what you are up to in order to be able to report back? I don't understand. I thought that too. Im thinking maybe your ' friend' is the one watching what you do and has become a bit 'posessive' or even unstable. Maybe the other person doesnt actually exist. Either way, choose a new friend " I said this. But my comment was ignored lol | |||
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"How does this other party know what you are up to in order to be able to report back? I don't understand. Me too...unless you keep posting what you do like a running commentary....?" She knows my profile name etc and before i hid my profile she would look if id updated any verifications and apparently she knows someone i havent been chatting to recently but my friend wont give me any details of who she is or who this person is im supposed to me talking to but they seem to know an awful lot about me and are just causing trouble so ive now blocked women from messaging me and seeing my profile | |||
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"Not sure if this is the right forum for this but im becoming so upset. Last year i met someone very local we got on great and became amazing friends with some benefits i even got him a job at my place of work when he lost his and things where great. But recently a member on here who knows my friend and has wanted him for a while is causing so much trouble and making my life miserable i have hidden my profile but they are still able to view what im doing and reporting it all back to my friend who then believes this person over me knowing they are causing trouble he wont even give me this persons user name so i can block them as he "doesnt want to stir trouble" we are currently not on speaking terms because of this person but i have to work with them and knowing they are mad at me just hurts alot especially because ive done nothing wrong. God its only Monday and I want this week too be over with. " This guy sounds like a jerk! What you do here is your business not his or anyone else's. Sounds like he is trying to control you which you should put a stop to. Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me! | |||
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"Can u block couples and women ... If i do that does that mean they cant view my profile at all do i just not show up in searches?" They wouldn't be able to see your profile and you wouldn't come up on searches. It might be inconvenient, but you could delete your current profile and re-join using a completely different username, alter a few things (add or subtract an inch in height say) and put your location something like 'at the bottom of the biscuit tin'. Then block women and couples...they won't see you again. Good luck.... | |||
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"Not sure if this is the right forum for this but im becoming so upset. Last year i met someone very local we got on great and became amazing friends with some benefits i even got him a job at my place of work when he lost his and things where great. But recently a member on here who knows my friend and has wanted him for a while is causing so much trouble and making my life miserable i have hidden my profile but they are still able to view what im doing and reporting it all back to my friend who then believes this person over me knowing they are causing trouble he wont even give me this persons user name so i can block them as he "doesnt want to stir trouble" we are currently not on speaking terms because of this person but i have to work with them and knowing they are mad at me just hurts alot especially because ive done nothing wrong. God its only Monday and I want this week too be over with. " I'd say its him and not this imaginary friend that he's made up. He probably wants an excuse to finish with you but is afraid or feels guilty as you have been kind to him and got him a job etc. So in that scenario it would be easier to blame this imaginary person for the reason of your break up . Id forget him and move on with your life now . Try and be civil as you are now work colleagues and thats where the relationship stays. Only my opinion and advice of course. | |||
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"Just annoyed as he/them have nothing to gain im a decent person if he wants to end it i told him id have no hard feelings and just keep things civil " Do yourself a favour and just end it yourself and move on. | |||
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"Just annoyed as he/them have nothing to gain im a decent person if he wants to end it i told him id have no hard feelings and just keep things civil " take control of the situation, you're playing into his hands. | |||
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"If your friend is believing this third party over you, then perhaps you didn't know each other as well you thought. I have certain friends I would trust with my life, and nothing anyone could say would change my point of view of them just on their word alone. " | |||
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"Just annoyed as he/them have nothing to gain im a decent person if he wants to end it i told him id have no hard feelings and just keep things civil take control of the situation, you're playing into his hands. " Just point out your happy to work together but that's it ! Time to soldier on and find fun else where | |||
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"If your friend is believing this third party over you, then perhaps you didn't know each other as well you thought. I have certain friends I would trust with my life, and nothing anyone could say would change my point of view of them just on their word alone. " great answer and i agree | |||
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"Starting to realise its more hassle than its worth and ive done nothing wrong and im not apologising for something i havent done i dont want or need the stress of having to constantly reassure someone" There's your answer... 1. If he wants to know what's going on then he should be man enough just to simply ask. 2. It's a swinging site you can talk to or even fuck whomever you want. 3. Your profile is hidden they can't see it. 4. He's playing mind games and trying to manipulate you and he's getting to you so it's working. 5. Clearly you are 'friends' and he's already insecure. It's going nowhere, stop wasting time energy and emotion on it;) 6. It's a swinging site, you met on a swinging site. Unless you've agreed to delete your account and commit then it's no one else's business what you do on here. Don't let it be.... Good luck xxxc | |||
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"Had something similar recently. A local woman I was talking to has told her best mate who has mutual friends with me who I am. She knows where I work as I've served her and she's telling people about me which makes things awkward. It's a small town and word travels fast. My best friend came to me to tell me that she's been outing me. It seems while some here don't mind their friends knowing what they do they don't respect the privacy of others. I'd rather my customers didn't know what I get up to at weekends. I'm seething " Something similar has happened to me. Tell the woman who I gobbing off, I she doesn't put a sock in it, you will spill the beans on her activities. (And feel free to be inventive....) | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!!" block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen. | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!! block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen." Sadly i dont know his profile he told me he is no longer on fab hes not on my friends list etc so not sure how hes seeing things so cant block sadly | |||
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"Maybe its really him who has a profile on here and doesnt want to say " | |||
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"Not sure if this is the right forum for this but im becoming so upset. Last year i met someone very local we got on great and became amazing friends with some benefits i even got him a job at my place of work when he lost his and things where great. But recently a member on here who knows my friend and has wanted him for a while is causing so much trouble and making my life miserable i have hidden my profile but they are still able to view what im doing and reporting it all back to my friend who then believes this person over me knowing they are causing trouble he wont even give me this persons user name so i can block them as he "doesnt want to stir trouble" we are currently not on speaking terms because of this person but i have to work with them and knowing they are mad at me just hurts alot especially because ive done nothing wrong. God its only Monday and I want this week too be over with. " The other person doesn't exist, the guy is playing games | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!! block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen. Sadly i dont know his profile he told me he is no longer on fab hes not on my friends list etc so not sure how hes seeing things so cant block sadly " Not a good friend Stalkerish possessive behaviour Psycho manipulate behaviour making a fake person up and saying a lot of lies. I say delete your profile and make a new one. Adjust your location slightly, perhaps even your age and make new pictures for your profile. Be wary of him at work, keep it professional and keep him at arms length (Small talk) Hope to gets sorted xx | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!! block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen. Im going to let things settle for a week or two then start a fresh ive been looking for a new job for a while so fingers crossed i have some great friends on here thank you all for your advise its been lovely and very eye opening i now feel a huge weight is lifted x Sadly i dont know his profile he told me he is no longer on fab hes not on my friends list etc so not sure how hes seeing things so cant block sadly Not a good friend Stalkerish possessive behaviour Psycho manipulate behaviour making a fake person up and saying a lot of lies. I say delete your profile and make a new one. Adjust your location slightly, perhaps even your age and make new pictures for your profile. Be wary of him at work, keep it professional and keep him at arms length (Small talk) Hope to gets sorted xx" | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!! block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen. Sadly i dont know his profile he told me he is no longer on fab hes not on my friends list etc so not sure how hes seeing things so cant block sadly " I think this has been suggested before but it bears repeating. Close your current profile, set up a new one with a random location eg Never Never Land, an age that's a little older and no photos. Make your new profile very different and be very careful who you accept as a friend. You are not helpless in this situation. | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!! block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen. Sadly i dont know his profile he told me he is no longer on fab hes not on my friends list etc so not sure how hes seeing things so cant block sadly I think this has been suggested before but it bears repeating. Close your current profile, set up a new one with a random location eg Never Never Land, an age that's a little older and no photos. Make your new profile very different and be very careful who you accept as a friend. You are not helpless in this situation." Im going to leave things for a week or two then start all over and take the advice you all have given means alot thank you x | |||
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"Literally un-hid my profile for 5 seconds and one second later boom text message from my friend saying im a lying bastard and to delete his number so definitely him watching me.....so glad its over with now no idea what im lying about but oh well no more drama!!!! block his profile and stop posting now don't give him any more oxygen. Sadly i dont know his profile he told me he is no longer on fab hes not on my friends list etc so not sure how hes seeing things so cant block sadly I think this has been suggested before but it bears repeating. Close your current profile, set up a new one with a random location eg Never Never Land, an age that's a little older and no photos. Make your new profile very different and be very careful who you accept as a friend. You are not helpless in this situation. Im going to leave things for a week or two then start all over and take the advice you all have given means alot thank you x" why leave it? If you take action now it will be finished. | |||
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"I have something similar. Someone recognised me then went and told everyone where I live including my son, mother and brothers. They have now gone 1 step further and every time I get a new veri they tell my son exactly what his mother is getting up to. I've thought about hiding my profile but I don't live my life for othersale. So my eldest now tells them it's none of their business." Out of respect why not just hide your veris? Easy. Yes I see where your coming from but it's not just about you and by doing this makes your sons life easier by the sounds of it | |||
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"I have something similar. Someone recognised me then went and told everyone where I live including my son, mother and brothers. They have now gone 1 step further and every time I get a new veri they tell my son exactly what his mother is getting up to. I've thought about hiding my profile but I don't live my life for othersale. So my eldest now tells them it's none of their business." Wow!!! Really?!! Someone would go that low?!! I repeat: wow!!! OP, there's something about this thread that doesn't make sense and if it doesn't make sense it isn't true! | |||
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"I have something similar. Someone recognised me then went and told everyone where I live including my son, mother and brothers. They have now gone 1 step further and every time I get a new veri they tell my son exactly what his mother is getting up to. I've thought about hiding my profile but I don't live my life for othersale. So my eldest now tells them it's none of their business. Wow!!! Really?!! Someone would go that low?!! I repeat: wow!!! OP, there's something about this thread that doesn't make sense and if it doesn't make sense it isn't true!" Which part doesnt make sense | |||
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"Which part doesnt make sense" Everything except the last line, and even that is dodgy! An FWB is not going to be concerned who you meet, nor are you going to be concerned or stop them meeting the mystery assassin. If your profile is hidden then no one including the assassin can see it, so would have nothing to report. Even if it's not hidden it only changes with veri's you approve for publication. Mystery assassin does not improve their chances by bad mouthing you, as you wouldn't be stopping a FWB from meeting them anyway. Things don't change next week, so why wish this one over... Oh! yep even the last line doesn't make sense. | |||
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"Which part doesnt make sense Everything except the last line, and even that is dodgy! An FWB is not going to be concerned who you meet, nor are you going to be concerned or stop them meeting the mystery assassin. If your profile is hidden then no one including the assassin can see it, so would have nothing to report. Even if it's not hidden it only changes with veri's you approve for publication. Mystery assassin does not improve their chances by bad mouthing you, as you wouldn't be stopping a FWB from meeting them anyway. Things don't change next week, so why wish this one over... Oh! yep even the last line doesn't make sense." So why would she post this thread if it wasn't true? Maybe she has not managed to convey all the details? However, I don't think this is another 'ooh, poor me, look at me' thread. I genuinely think some bloke is making her life a misery. It's easy to point a finger and say something doesn't ring true, when it doesn't fit within our own experiences. I had an issue years ago when a guy I worked with (in a government department) made a dirty phone call to me. Whilst the call itself did not faze me, the subsequent fall-out was horrendous. What was worse was that we had been friends and it was an odd thing to do. If he had been in touch afterwards and said, 'sorry, I was d*unk/don't know what came over me', it would have been forgotten much quicker. But he denied it. I reported it to our boss, and then I got blamed by the boss and accused of trying to stuff his career up. We had to continue to work together and believe me, it wasn't easy. So I do believe that something is happening, and it may he that he can see what she is up to because he knows her log in details, which he acquired because they were friends. I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order. | |||
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"Which part doesnt make sense Everything except the last line, and even that is dodgy! An FWB is not going to be concerned who you meet, nor are you going to be concerned or stop them meeting the mystery assassin. If your profile is hidden then no one including the assassin can see it, so would have nothing to report. Even if it's not hidden it only changes with veri's you approve for publication. Mystery assassin does not improve their chances by bad mouthing you, as you wouldn't be stopping a FWB from meeting them anyway. Things don't change next week, so why wish this one over... Oh! yep even the last line doesn't make sense. So why would she post this thread if it wasn't true? Maybe she has not managed to convey all the details? However, I don't think this is another 'ooh, poor me, look at me' thread. I genuinely think some bloke is making her life a misery. It's easy to point a finger and say something doesn't ring true, when it doesn't fit within our own experiences. I had an issue years ago when a guy I worked with (in a government department) made a dirty phone call to me. Whilst the call itself did not faze me, the subsequent fall-out was horrendous. What was worse was that we had been friends and it was an odd thing to do. If he had been in touch afterwards and said, 'sorry, I was d*unk/don't know what came over me', it would have been forgotten much quicker. But he denied it. I reported it to our boss, and then I got blamed by the boss and accused of trying to stuff his career up. We had to continue to work together and believe me, it wasn't easy. So I do believe that something is happening, and it may he that he can see what she is up to because he knows her log in details, which he acquired because they were friends. I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order." Thank you for being understanding im the last person who would want the spotlight i just thought this would be a good place to vent and see if others had been through similar and could offer some advice i shall be making a new profile and have informed my close fab friends to help verify me again. After looking back over everything i can see now he probably wanted more than i was willing to give but i made it clear i didnt want a relationship from day one i have called it a day on our friendship and have blocked his number etc i shall be having a word with my manager to see if he can put us on alternate shifts just nice to know people have had similar problems (well not nice but comforting) thank you x | |||
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"Which part doesnt make sense Everything except the last line, and even that is dodgy! An FWB is not going to be concerned who you meet, nor are you going to be concerned or stop them meeting the mystery assassin. If your profile is hidden then no one including the assassin can see it, so would have nothing to report. Even if it's not hidden it only changes with veri's you approve for publication. Mystery assassin does not improve their chances by bad mouthing you, as you wouldn't be stopping a FWB from meeting them anyway. Things don't change next week, so why wish this one over... Oh! yep even the last line doesn't make sense." Not just me then. I've struggled to follow what is happening and don't understand how it's ovee | |||
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"I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order." Never suggested that the OP didn't have drama with the guy, just that fab and other people were probably not the problem. no real need for new profile, just change the password in case he has it (also any other passwords he may have guessed) | |||
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"I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order. Never suggested that the OP didn't have drama with the guy, just that fab and other people were probably not the problem. no real need for new profile, just change the password in case he has it (also any other passwords he may have guessed)" It seems that the op isn't aware of his username so can't block him so a new unidentifiable (to him) profile would seem to be a good solution. | |||
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"I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order. Never suggested that the OP didn't have drama with the guy, just that fab and other people were probably not the problem. no real need for new profile, just change the password in case he has it (also any other passwords he may have guessed) It seems that the op isn't aware of his username so can't block him so a new unidentifiable (to him) profile would seem to be a good solution. " But as nobody could know the OP's fab activities with a hidden profile, it makes the suggestion that he has her password quite likely, so if that password is used elsewhere that would be the bigger problem. | |||
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"Which part doesnt make sense Everything except the last line, and even that is dodgy! An FWB is not going to be concerned who you meet, nor are you going to be concerned or stop them meeting the mystery assassin. If your profile is hidden then no one including the assassin can see it, so would have nothing to report. Even if it's not hidden it only changes with veri's you approve for publication. Mystery assassin does not improve their chances by bad mouthing you, as you wouldn't be stopping a FWB from meeting them anyway. Things don't change next week, so why wish this one over... Oh! yep even the last line doesn't make sense." Summed up nicely! | |||
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"I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order. Never suggested that the OP didn't have drama with the guy, just that fab and other people were probably not the problem. no real need for new profile, just change the password in case he has it (also any other passwords he may have guessed)" Nice bit of back-peddling. | |||
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"I still think the OP should delete her profile and start again. That way, unless he has put spyware on her devices, he can't monitor her activity. Failing that, if he continues, a little chat with a nice policeman might be in order. Never suggested that the OP didn't have drama with the guy, just that fab and other people were probably not the problem. no real need for new profile, just change the password in case he has it (also any other passwords he may have guessed) Nice bit of back-peddling." I don't back peddle, the original post is still impossible, you did suggest an alternative and potentially worrying explanation in the FWB having the OP's password. which may, if the password is used for other things be quite a serious issue. | |||
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