FabSwingers.com forum: First club nerves.

By *ubSirVient-Definition OP Couple
over a year ago

dukinfield

Being a guy of a heavier build I'm getting a little nervous about our first club visit (cpl n sf night). I'm working on it (list a stone since dec)but still insecure about being dressed down

With Alex obviously looking the way she does I'm worried of people looking at her and me in very different lights.

Any mixed Weight couples offer any advice??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being a guy of a heavier build I'm getting a little nervous about our first club visit (cpl n sf night). I'm working on it (list a stone since dec)but still insecure about being dressed down

With Alex obviously looking the way she does I'm worried of people looking at her and me in very different lights.

Any mixed Weight couples offer any advice?? "

That's why we never go to dress-down clubs. It is just unnecessary pressure. It's different when someone strips me off lol but wandering round in my underwear isn't for me.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We don't go to a dress down club and we are no supermodels, there are people of all shapes and sizes and we have no trouble finding people to play with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being a guy of a heavier build I'm getting a little nervous about our first club visit (cpl n sf night). I'm working on it (list a stone since dec)but still insecure about being dressed down

With Alex obviously looking the way she does I'm worried of people looking at her and me in very different lights.

Any mixed Weight couples offer any advice?? "

Well obviously they will see you in different lights you have a twig and berries and she has a foo-foo and lady lumps.

Just chill out it's really only like when you go swimming or to the beach and after a while you actually forget about things.

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By *tt1Couple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

Male half here - I wouldn't let it worry you

Very similar if not exactly the same scenario with us but after the first couple of club visits realised that size has very little to do with anything in a club environment, or swinging more generally for that matter.

Whilst there are always exceptions I'd suggest that most want to socially get on with whomever they play with and whilst of course looks play a part its never been an issue for me.

It's easy for me to say this after the event but just go along and be sociable, you'll soon find yourself at ease, if your still nervous then I'd try a club that isn't "dress down" for your first visit (we love Infusion especially since the refurb) as you will see all sorts of shapes and sizes both in and out of clothing which may put you at ease before you decide to strip off to you towel

Hope the above helps

Gtt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go for a club that is not dress down for you first visit,

go along, be sociable and relax,

you put pressure on yourself with so many nerves and worries.

it is after all just a club, obey the rules, dont go with the attitude that because you have paid, your going get laid, it is not like that and the guys who go with that attitude are idiots.

couples and single ladies will respond to you if you dress smart, be charming , chat and relax.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh you only feel this for the first ten minutes and the changing area. You soon realise there's someone bigger than you strutting their stuff and at ease so u soon get over it.

Got to remember it's not the miss universe pageant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had our first club visit on the 9th of Jan, went to the Townhouse, very nervous about the whole thing.

Once we were inside it was great happilly chatted to people from all walks of life in diffrent states of undress.

No pressure to take you clothes of we just sat and chatted with people.

Very frindly bunch, go on do it enjoy the whole thing, the build up the nerves its all part of the expetrience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being a guy of a heavier build I'm getting a little nervous about our first club visit (cpl n sf night). I'm working on it (list a stone since dec)but still insecure about being dressed down

With Alex obviously looking the way she does I'm worried of people looking at her and me in very different lights.

Any mixed Weight couples offer any advice?? "

I think anyone with a negative view is just a numpty and you get to go home with her. So you're winning already

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Most good clubs attract good people .. and I don't mean the supermodel type I mean the friendliest and welcoming people

All shapes, sizes , ages and ethniticity and all wearing as much or as little as they choose

Honestly nobody bats an eyelid .. in fact being your first time OP you will probably be the ones walking round with your mouths open haha

Just relax and enjoy the night ... I bet you will love it

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By *urchoicenowCouple
over a year ago

Ashford

We were both larger build when we first went and felt self conscious. We soon realised that we were by no means unusual in appearance. We both lost weight with K going from size 18 to 12. Typically, I put mine back on again.

What I'm trying to say is that you will see people of all shapes and sizes but no one is judgemental. Go , be yourself and enjoy.

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By *ubSirVient-Definition OP Couple
over a year ago

dukinfield

it is after all just a club, obey the rules, dont go with the attitude that because you have paid, your going get laid, it is not like that and the guys who go with that attitude are idiots.

My Mrs is coming with me so I needn't worry about that mate I'll be getting laid anyway. To be honest it's the social side were going for and to play in the dungeon as we don't have to heavy furniture at home

If Alex finds a nice girl to have some fun with then it's all the more fun for me to watch them . Birthday treat and all that..

Seriously though guys, thanks for all the comments and advice it's really helping to put my mind at ease. I'm not a socially awkward guy normally 25 years working in the nightclub business means I normally have oodles of confidence to speak to anyone. But most of the time we were all fully clothed and no one was getting boned over a pool table. So it's all a bit new to me. Lol

Funny I was never this nervous walking out on stage in front of thousand of people lol

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By * SCARED x STIFF xCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

We've only been to a club once and it wasn't a dress down club , however we found that generally speaking it's nowhere near as big a deal to everybody else as it is to you in your head, just try not to make it into some massive thing.

Most people are also looking forward to chatting and meeting new people so I'm sure you'll both be plenty busy with conversation.

If it feels too much , why not try a club with a nightclub theme?

You can wear normal going out clothes then.

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By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Hello OP, dont get worked up about it no one and i mean no one batters an eye lid. Most clubs well certainly our nights have a vast number of people of all different shapes and sizes. After 5 mins your neves will be gone and you will soon realise there is nothing to get yourself worked up about... Happy swinging x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't worry about it, it's the personalities that I'd go for and I know a lot feel the same. We're all here to have fun and not to be judgemental.

Enjoy your club visit

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By *ubSirVient-Definition OP Couple
over a year ago

dukinfield

Cheers guys! To be honest your words have massively help put my mind at ease. Like I said we're mainly going for the social and dungeon side anyway so it's not like I'm going to play my self (appart from with baby girl)so I'll just fake it till I make it

Although if there are any girls that take a shine to her then it's win win all round I say

I'll watch and it's happy birthday to me! And I doubt we'll make it out the car park after lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have only been to dress down clubs.

Our first visit we was like rabbits caught in headlights for a couple of hours then we just relaxed and mingled.

You will find people of all ages and sizes and all equally as friendly as the next.

Relax and enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember the first time I went. I was so so nervous. Sat in the car for 40 minutes. I nearly bottled it, but in the end just went in and too my time....

The rest is history.

Have your rules and talk to people. If you go no expectations you usually have very little disappointments

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I'm a big guy and have been going to parties and clubs since 2003.

My advice is to find somewhere you feel comfy. Check out the website and reviews, ensure that all body types are welcome. Also choose a night where the theme (if any) makes you feel more comfy.

Be prepared for more interest in your lady, because that's how the scene is no matter your appearance.

I've wandered around Kestrels and Jaydees naked or in undies.

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By *ubSirVient-Definition OP Couple
over a year ago

dukinfield

Be prepared for more interest in your lady, because that's how the scene is no matter your appearance.

Oh I'm prepared for that hence we're going to a cplsf event as she loves the ladies so I have no issues there. She can get all the attention she wants of them lol

Thanks for the advice tho pal.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Be prepared for more interest in your lady, because that's how the scene is no matter your appearance.

Oh I'm prepared for that hence we're going to a cplsf event as she loves the ladies so I have no issues there. She can get all the attention she wants of them lol

Thanks for the advice tho pal. "

Lots of men will be interested in her too, just be prepared for that, know your own boundaries and enforce them.

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By *iReyWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire East

My I ask which club you're going and when

I'm a size 18 and my fella is average size. I used to worry when we went to clubs people wouldn't want to play with me being a bigger girl and they'd wonder why he was there with me. But having said that I realised there's people there of all shapes and sizes, hardly anyone is judgmental and those who are arnt worth your time anyway. Just have fun and let loose

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton

D here - I am a chunky monkey and to be honest feel happier at dress down clubs that I do having to 'Dress to impress'.

We have met some amazingly sexy people whilst in clubs and never once have I felt judged by them. All sorts of people go to clubs and we love how relaxed our fav club (Chams) is.

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