FabSwingers.com forum: Help on breaking the ice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all , I'm fairly new to all this and I'm having trouble breaking the ice in messages , I know it will be what I'm putting and that I won't be everyone's taste of guy but all sent messages just get deleted , would some kind person be able to help with advice on the best way to start and what sort of content to put please, I'm photo verified and and a site supporter to try and show I'm not a time waster , all help appreciated thanks

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Have you thought about not being a single male?

I know the feeling when you read a profile, create an intriguing title, write a short email, which demonstrates that you have read what they're looking for, explain why you might be that person, offer a suggestion of getting in touch and include a recent face pic.

Which is then read & deleted.

And yet people complain about cut-and-paste messages or not reading the profile.

Unfortunately it's all down to whether they like your face.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You suggest not being a single male but I will not lie on my profile and I can't become part of a couple without talking to/meeting a lady who wishes for the same with me

But your post hit the nail on the head there , I read the profile I look at the pics to see if I like them instead of just emailing every lady on here , don't try to be rude and add a face pic and still no reply and just delete

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

A lot of women check out your profile before they read the message so I guess it's important for it to read right and have decent pics etc.

Otherwise it's just a perseverance thing, women get inundated on here.

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

When you have been to La Chambre several times and had fun, could you not ask any of them to verify you ?

Sally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of women check out your profile before they read the message so I guess it's important for it to read right and have decent pics etc.

Otherwise it's just a perseverance thing, women get inundated on here."

this for me.

i need to feel some level of being able to trust you as well as find you physically attractive. sometimes persistence can pay off so long as every time you come across as ok to deal with. you in general, not you yourself OP.

i'm looking for more than fuck and go meets, with fuck and go it would mostly be down to attraction and horniness levels at that time of looking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A lot of women check out your profile before they read the message so I guess it's important for it to read right and have decent pics etc.

Otherwise it's just a perseverance thing, women get inundated on here."

I hear what you're saying , but alot just delete without looking at the profile as sure you know but being a site supporter you can see who has looked at your profile which is why I believe it to be the message and is the reason why im asking for tips/help so I can try and make myself stand out/intrigue the lady in messaging

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

"A lot of women check out your profile before they read the message so I guess it's important for it to read right and have decent pics etc.

Otherwise it's just a perseverance thing, women get inundated on here.

Your settings can be changed so that you don't show up in that list though, so they may have viewed and not been interested.

Your not alone in this, we have it a lot too. Weirdly we seem to get it with people we've actually been messaging with a bit...

Bear in mind that women get inundated with messages, most of which are very poor and consist of just "Hi" or "Wanna fuck?"

What sort of messages do you send?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi , how are you ? My name's xxxxx Hope your doing well , I saw your profile and thought I would come and say hi and see if you fancied a chat (and possibly me lol ) and see if we click and maybe have some fun one day but if I'm not your cup of tea then thanks for reading and happy fabbing

This is a message I sent to one lady that just got deleted , I didn't want to just start going want a fuck etc and added a face pic as well , does it sound lame , or was it ok as a first message as I didn't want to come across as a pest , cheers for any advice though , think I'm in need of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

slightly too formal for me but nothing offensive and the thing in brackets made me laugh.

seems alright.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once you will get your first verifications you will get more response from people. Talking from experience, since last week I'd hardly get any reply back. Went to a club last week, few people verified me. Now the response rate gone really high. My messages are pretty much simpler before and after verifications.

Good luck

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By *andi_shopWoman
over a year ago

rotherham

"A lot of women check out your profile before they read the message so I guess it's important for it to read right and have decent pics etc.

Otherwise it's just a perseverance thing, women get inundated on here.

But you can also look at other people's profiles incognito so you wouldn't know who's looking at them

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

OP when you say "I saw your profile and thought I would come and say hi" I find I am much more likely to reply if I know someone has actually read my profile and looked at my pics. Say something like I particularly like your 16 June picture because you look so sexy in that corset or I see you are into role play. I am too. Something to make me think you are messaging me personally, not sending the identical mesage to 100 a day.

Sally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP when you say "I saw your profile and thought I would come and say hi" I find I am much more likely to reply if I know someone has actually read my profile and looked at my pics. Say something like I particularly like your 16 June picture because you look so sexy in that corset or I see you are into role play. I am too. Something to make me think you are messaging me personally, not sending the identical mesage to 100 a day.

Sally"

Brilliant advice on personalising a message, I get lots of "I read your profile ......" followed by a load of guff which categorically proves they clearly haven't.

Also, OP, for me (and I'm fully aware that I am possibly alone in this) the trend for sticking a random 'lol' or 'haha' into a phrase that really isn't likely to have had you rolling in the aisles irks me.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

This is how it goes OP.

See message, go to message senders profile in stealth mode.

Then the message is either deleted without reading or replied to.

Put anything you like in your first message (apart from FAF or derivivtes thereof) because it's your profile that counts the most.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please"

Your profile, but we can't give advice on that unless you ask us to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me this site is about sex appeal and fullfillng fantasy. Photos need to show sex appeal, and profile text needs to show that the owner of the profile is capable of fulfilling someone's fantasy. Those who are looking the couples would need to show that they can meet the needs of the couple. At the end of the day, there are too many men to go round on this site, so by the laws of mathematics there will always be men who never get a meet.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging and dating sites are the equivalent of buying a toaster in the Argos catalogue. You look at the pictures and decide which one you like the look of then you might read the description and buy it or email them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please

Your profile, but we can't give advice on that unless you ask us to."

I'm asking as I said I'm quite useless at what to put when writing as my mind just goes blank and then don't want to sound sleazy , Its different when in person chatting or having fun

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

I've been on this site for probably 5 years or so and I've had one meet arranged from it. Does this mean I've had one meet? No I've had lots of fun by getting down to a club or a social and getting myself known. Youll still be in competition with other single guys but as long as youre not a dick and play the long game you've a better chance than sending countless messages.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please

Your profile, but we can't give advice on that unless you ask us to.

I'm asking as I said I'm quite useless at what to put when writing as my mind just goes blank and then don't want to sound sleazy , Its different when in person chatting or having fun

Why would you need to write anything sleazy?

We are not allowed to comment on your profile unless you tell us we can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all , I'm fairly new to all this and I'm having trouble breaking the ice in messages , I know it will be what I'm putting and that I won't be everyone's taste of guy but all sent messages just get deleted , would some kind person be able to help with advice on the best way to start and what sort of content to put please, I'm photo verified and and a site supporter to try and show I'm not a time waster , all help appreciated thanks

I've always found that you need a fat polar bear... That usually * breaks the ice*!

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

"I've always found that you need a fat polar bear... That usually * breaks the ice*!

*groans*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please

Your profile, but we can't give advice on that unless you ask us to.

I'm asking as I said I'm quite useless at what to put when writing as my mind just goes blank and then don't want to sound sleazy , Its different when in person chatting or having fun

Why would you need to write anything sleazy?

We are not allowed to comment on your profile unless you tell us we can."

I wouldn't want to write anything sleazy it's just I'm sure there are people who do and I don't want to be one of them

I give you permission to comment on my profile I want help me improve it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please

Your profile, but we can't give advice on that unless you ask us to.

I'm asking as I said I'm quite useless at what to put when writing as my mind just goes blank and then don't want to sound sleazy , Its different when in person chatting or having fun

Why would you need to write anything sleazy?

We are not allowed to comment on your profile unless you tell us we can.

I wouldn't want to write anything sleazy it's just I'm sure there are people who do and I don't want to be one of them

I give you permission to comment on my profile I want help me improve it "

I already did, but in a round about way. You need photos that show your sex appeal, and a profile text that suggests you can meet someone's fantasy. (Though I do accept the the latter may take time to impress).

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"For me that message is the same as nearly everyone else's.

Though it may not be just your message that's an issue

What else do you think could be the issue then please

Your profile, but we can't give advice on that unless you ask us to.

I'm asking as I said I'm quite useless at what to put when writing as my mind just goes blank and then don't want to sound sleazy , Its different when in person chatting or having fun

Why would you need to write anything sleazy?

We are not allowed to comment on your profile unless you tell us we can.

I wouldn't want to write anything sleazy it's just I'm sure there are people who do and I don't want to be one of them

I give you permission to comment on my profile I want help me improve it "

Then don't be one of them. It's your choice, it's not an and/or situation.

Read some profiles of men who meet a lot and put yourself in the shoes of the woman reading yours.

As we often say on here, would you meet you?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Ok, your profile starts with a rant. Not sexy.

You look miserable in your pics. Not sexy.

This is meant to be fun, we want to meet happy people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok read your profile. Well you are very very busy. You do like to stress how busy you are. That would put us off. It's much easier arranging meets with people who have time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cool cheers for the advice everyone , I will look at ways to polish it up , but again thanks to you all for helping and happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok, your profile starts with a rant. Not sexy.

You look miserable in your pics. Not sexy.

This is meant to be fun, we want to meet happy people

I am happy person , was at work when I took some of the pics and me not happy then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bare in mind the hundreds of other men trying to message the same girl eventually she will go on a deleting spree so it may not be intentional..

Just keep at it and eventually you'll get a break. If it helps I struggle to get replies myself

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By *iolet2000Woman
over a year ago

Ormskirk

"Swinging and dating sites are the equivalent of buying a toaster in the Argos catalogue. You look at the pictures and decide which one you like the look of then you might read the description and buy it or email them. "
e v

I like this. But cant bothered shopping often.

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