FabSwingers.com forum: Tips for first time messaging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi fab people,

I've been on here for quite a while now and I have rewritten my profile plenty of times, added new photos and have been messaging a lot of women.

The problem is, nobody seems to reply back to my first messages at all. Some guys seem to be arranging meets left right and centre.

I tailor each of my messages to every woman or couple by reading their profiles first. I am polite and respectful but I just don't think they are interesting enough. I therefore decided to try a different route and come across as a bit more dirty and that still didn't work.

I have a feeling that I went from 0-100 when I changed my messaging style and I believe the key is to be in between but I'm still finding it hard to get any replies.

Ladies, what are you looking for when a guy first sends you a message?

Guys, who have had lots of meets, what's your advice and what do you generally send to women that gets a reply?

Some tips and advice would be great. Even have a look at my profile and tell me what you think.

Cheers folks

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By * Kiwis and a BananaMan
over a year ago

Part of your 5 a day

You need to have a balance as some people don't really have time to chit chat all day...plus it needs to stand out as I'm sure you know a lot get messages from single guys and it's hard to read all of them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's why I'm wondering what the guys who are getting meets would be writing. My messages are short enough but aren't interesting enough and at the other end of the scale they are probably too dirty.

The balance is very much what you have to get right. What would you normally send?

Some girls have no profile text yet are getting verifications. But what are these guys writing when they don't know anything about the girls they are talking too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/16 11:55:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's why I'm wondering what the guys who are getting meets would be writing. My messages are short enough but aren't interesting enough and at the other end of the scale they are probably too dirty.

The balance is very much what you have to get right. What would you normally send?

Some girls have no profile text yet are getting verifications. But what are these guys writing when they don't know anything about the girls they are talking too? "

I think you need more pics up mate. Or do you attach them in a message?

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By *ex-a-frolicsCouple
over a year ago

Brizzle

The first problem we see is your photo's or lack of. The one picture is so blurred can't work out what it is! Unless you're sending lots with your first messsge most people will just ignore your profile we did!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How would you make them stand out?

I'm a genuine guy who is respectful to women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I normally attach my photos when I send messages.

Is it mostly the verifications that you would look for?

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By *eyMrJackMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Go for cheeky instead of dirty, I get most replies when I add a joke or something a bit daft in the first line. Then 2nd third line actually say why you're messaging. You can see the title and 1st line without selecting read so if you have a lot of messages that's how you can quickly ignore/ notice the worthwhile messages.

Hope that's helpful

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By * Kiwis and a BananaMan
over a year ago

Part of your 5 a day

"Go for cheeky instead of dirty, I get most replies when I add a joke or something a bit daft in the first line. Then 2nd third line actually say why you're messaging. You can see the title and 1st line without selecting read so if you have a lot of messages that's how you can quickly ignore/ notice the worthwhile messages.

Hope that's helpful

Yes being funny always helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi fab people,

I've been on here for quite a while now and I have rewritten my profile plenty of times, added new photos and have been messaging a lot of women.

The problem is, nobody seems to reply back to my first messages at all. Some guys seem to be arranging meets left right and centre.

I have a feeling that I went from 0-100 when I changed my messaging style and I believe the key is to be in between but I'm still finding it hard to get any replies.

Ladies, what are you looking for when a guy first sends you a message?

Guys, who have had lots of meets, what's your advice and what do you generally send to women that gets a reply?

Some tips and advice would be great. Even have a look at my profile and tell me what you think.

Cheers folks"

Got to be honest here.

If we were looking for single guys, we wouldn't read past your second paragraph.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'That's what we are all here for' Instant delete - that's if I get as far as your profile. Dirty/crude messages would be deleted without even looking.

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By * Kiwis and a BananaMan
over a year ago

Part of your 5 a day

Actually going through this thread and realising it's a tough world out there and you have to be well equipped to survive... at least I got my tin foil hat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a shortish message referring to my profile and asking me something. It's hard to reply to a statement but easy to reply to a question.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/16 12:19:39]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"'That's what we are all here for' Instant delete - that's if I get as far as your profile. Dirty/crude messages would be deleted without even looking."

Yeah, that was a shot in the dark. Instantly deleted!

I'm not actually like that. Thought it would maybe make a difference. Clearly not; hands up, my mistake!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like a shortish message referring to my profile and asking me something. It's hard to reply to a statement but easy to reply to a question. "

That's what I generally do. Nothing worse than a copy and paste message.

Some women don't have any profile text and that's where I find it hard to come up with something interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being polite is good. giving someone something to reply to is good. being overly sexual or presumptious is not, usually.

most guys won't get a message back you know. it's just not possible for us to meet everyone who is interested, and i used to meet several guys a day. in fact if were on here chatting we're not actually meeting so...

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By *igris_PardusCouple
over a year ago

Bracknell

"Actually going through this thread and realising it's a tough world out there and you have to be well equipped to survive... at least I got my tin foil hat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...... at least I got my tin foil hat

Can I borrow it? Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a shortish message referring to my profile and asking me something. It's hard to reply to a statement but easy to reply to a question.

That's what I generally do. Nothing worse than a copy and paste message.

Some women don't have any profile text and that's where I find it hard to come up with something interesting.

Haha like my profile?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like a shortish message referring to my profile and asking me something. It's hard to reply to a statement but easy to reply to a question.

That's what I generally do. Nothing worse than a copy and paste message.

Some women don't have any profile text and that's where I find it hard to come up with something interesting.

Haha like my profile?"

Exactly like yours

Come on, gives us something to work with.

What would impress you if somebody wrote a message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like a shortish message referring to my profile and asking me something. It's hard to reply to a statement but easy to reply to a question.

That's what I generally do. Nothing worse than a copy and paste message.

Some women don't have any profile text and that's where I find it hard to come up with something interesting.

Haha like my profile?

Exactly like yours

Come on, gives us something to work with.

What would impress you if somebody wrote a message?"

My profile is the way it is because I got sick of guys ignoring what I had written. So I thought... sod it.. you can go in blind!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like a shortish message referring to my profile and asking me something. It's hard to reply to a statement but easy to reply to a question.

That's what I generally do. Nothing worse than a copy and paste message.

Some women don't have any profile text and that's where I find it hard to come up with something interesting.

Haha like my profile?

Exactly like yours

Come on, gives us something to work with.

What would impress you if somebody wrote a message?

My profile is the way it is because I got sick of guys ignoring what I had written. So I thought... sod it.. you can go in blind!"

I understand why that can get annoying. I'm the kind of guy that loves to read someones profile first.

You see, I end up taking forever to think of something cheeky or flirtatious that will make them interested.

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By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth

Our Advice?

Don't message anyone. Let them do the groundwork. Prove they are real. There are so many fakes and wannabes on this site it makes us want to puke.

Let them do the work!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Our Advice?

Don't message anyone. Let them do the groundwork. Prove they are real. There are so many fakes and wannabes on this site it makes us want to puke.

Let them do the work!"

I agree with what you are saying, however, single women will receive plenty of messages and won't feel the need to go looking for the person they like the most. They will generally pick a partner from those who have already sent them a message as its very easy to do so.

The site is competitive and sitting doing nothing won't get you anywhere fast.

This is my honest opinion.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Can you give an example of a typical first message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem like a fine chap . But you're young , you're looking for people equally as young , you don't accommodate and you're in a part of the country where we suspect there are few people likely to be available to meet .

It's demographics . Our chap met loads off here in his single life but he had the factors of age , accommodation and a more populous area in his favour

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Advice id offer is smile in your main pic, lose the droopy cock pic. I think your profile is good but I'd bet you would get a good response in clubs rather than on here.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Advice id offer is smile in your main pic, lose the droopy cock pic. I think your profile is good but I'd bet you would get a good response in clubs rather than on here.

Good luck "

Woul you usually recommend not having nay pictures of cocks at all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice id offer is smile in your main pic, lose the droopy cock pic. I think your profile is good but I'd bet you would get a good response in clubs rather than on here.

Good luck

Woul you usually recommend not having nay pictures of cocks at all?"

most people don't wanna see them. i do.

i like your make up bag also.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can you give an example of a typical first message?"

As I usually tailor me messages to the users profile I have tried to do the same with your profile.

I knoiw that you aren't looking for single guys or anybody below the age of 30, so I would have respected your wishes. Please bear in mind that I am usually writing to single females that are around the same age as myself.

Subject: [Warning] Dance/Sing off challenged issued...

...whoever loses buys the first round of drinks!

Hi Cal and Anita,

You two sound like great fun. I bet you would give somebody a fantastic night out. Although you are both almost double my age, do you think you could keep up with my unquestionably meticulous dance moves?

I'll be in your area soon, what clubs would you recommend?

If you're interested, then drop me a message.

Derek

This would be the sort of thing I would write in a message. I would be appreciative of some honest feedback. Is there anything I should do differently?

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

Are you attached?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

For me a first message needs to include a clear face pic and it must show, beyond any doubt, that you have read my profile.

I don't want 3 words, nor do I want more than a couple of sentences.

And when I check your profile, before replying, that needs to be great

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Advice id offer is smile in your main pic, lose the droopy cock pic. I think your profile is good but I'd bet you would get a good response in clubs rather than on here.

Good luck

Woul you usually recommend not having nay pictures of cocks at all?

most people don't wanna see them. i do.

i like your make up bag also.

A guys gotta have somehwere to keep his 'make me look good' stuff.

(That one was taken at an ex-girlfriends)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you attached? "

No, I'm currently single. If I was attached I'd make sure to have that in my profile.

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

"Are you attached?

No, I'm currently single. If I was attached I'd make sure to have that in my profile."

Just the make up bag and the cannot accom and the fact I'm wearing a deer stalker hat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are you attached?

No, I'm currently single. If I was attached I'd make sure to have that in my profile.

Just the make up bag and the cannot accom and the fact I'm wearing a deer stalker hat.

I can't accom as I stay with a flat mate. I'm working on getting my own place as we speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi fab people,

I've been on here for quite a while now and I have rewritten my profile plenty of times, added new photos and have been messaging a lot of women.

The problem is, nobody seems to reply back to my first messages at all. Some guys seem to be arranging meets left right and centre.

I have a feeling that I went from 0-100 when I changed my messaging style and I believe the key is to be in between but I'm still finding it hard to get any replies.

Ladies, what are you looking for when a guy first sends you a message?

Guys, who have had lots of meets, what's your advice and what do you generally send to women that gets a reply?

Some tips and advice would be great. Even have a look at my profile and tell me what you think.

Cheers folks"

Ok I'm not a woman but my opinion is don't bother messaging first, seriously.

Women get so many messages it's almost pointless messaging them, yes the odd one you might get a reply but the return on the investment of time is so so low that you are far better off using other features of the site to try and attract them to you.

I rarely message first anymore, only very occasionally if somebody I think looks exceptional catches my eye then I might.

The message function although the most direct and obvious route to getting a ladies attention is almost the least effective I have found.

I'm not claiming to be an expert but I've had some meets now and that's just my experience from a few months on here, good luck!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Can you give an example of a typical first message?

As I usually tailor me messages to the users profile I have tried to do the same with your profile.

Subject: [Warning] Dance/Sing off challenged issued...

...whoever loses buys the first round of drinks!

Hi Cal and Anita,

I'll be in your area soon, what clubs would you recommend?

If you're interested, then drop me a message.

Derek

This would be the sort of thing I would write in a message. I would be appreciative of some honest feedback. Is there anything I should do differently?"

Hi again Derek.

Reading your message, I don't think that your message is the problem. That type of thing wouldn't work on everyone but it's fun, and different. So if that's the type of message you'd normally send... then as others are suggesting your issues are in your profile.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the feedback Cal and Anita

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