FabSwingers.com forum: Bailing out of socials or dates

By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

If you don't feel you're matched, how soon do you bail on a social or date and how do you do it?

I bailed on a date tonight after an hour. I kind of knew as soon as we met but we'd agreed to meet for dinner and I was starving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have dinner go dutch but be honest . just let them know you dont feel any thing sexual .

honesty is always best .

lies hurt a person more x

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"have dinner go dutch but be honest . just let them know you dont feel any thing sexual .

honesty is always best .

lies hurt a person more x"

Oh I'm not one for lies, life's too short for that shit. I err on brutal honesty at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

5 minutes maximum for us .

We know by then if it's gonna happen , and when we know it won't we are off .

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

I would never arrange a meal on a first date for such reasons... normally can tell straight away if we will click.. I will finish drink though and part ways. Would never turn and run

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?"

We don't do that because we don't do socials .

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

Cambridge

"have dinner go dutch but be honest . just let them know you dont feel any thing sexual .

honesty is always best .

lies hurt a person more x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't feel you're matched, how soon do you bail on a social or date and how do you do it?

I bailed on a date tonight after an hour. I kind of knew as soon as we met but we'd agreed to meet for dinner and I was starving

An hour is a good time. We've met people for dinner but wouldn't again.

We had a meet with a couple once where after what must have been 4 hours of good banter we mentioned taking things further. They said no and later explained by private message they enjoyed spending time with us but the chemistry wasn't there.

Which happens a lot.

Meh, they were newbies, lesson learnt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't feel you're matched, how soon do you bail on a social or date and how do you do it?

I bailed on a date tonight after an hour. I kind of knew as soon as we met but we'd agreed to meet for dinner and I was starving

An hour is a good time. We've met people for dinner but wouldn't again.

Which happens a lot.

Meh, they were newbies, lesson learnt. "

Don't know why.

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?

We don't do that because we don't do socials ."

Good for you!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I've had a few socials over the years where I knew in 3 seconds that it would never go further.

However, I was always happy to spend time chatting to a fellow traveller on the swinging journey. Well worth a meal.

There were a couple of occasions when the lady was less keen than I was, and they stayed too.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I arranged to meet a guy and knew as soon as he turned up he wasn't for me. But we staying in the pub chatting, and then some live music came on and I had a really good evening. I don't get invited out often enough to bail on a good social.

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By *ecretlyASoftie OP Woman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I've had a few socials over the years where I knew in 3 seconds that it would never go further.

However, I was always happy to spend time chatting to a fellow traveller on the swinging journey. Well worth a meal.

There were a couple of occasions when the lady was less keen than I was, and they stayed too."

That's a lovely perspective x

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I'd like to think that even if there is no real attraction the chat up to the social means it's worth just having a nice time out with the person

Unless they are a physco or super dull.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I'd like to think that even if there is no real attraction the chat up to the social means it's worth just having a nice time out with the person

Unless they are a physco or super dull."

I did once ask a guy to leave because he was creeping me the fuck out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?"

If you know more or less straight away

Don't have starters

Just main course

No desert

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?

If you know more or less straight away

Don't have starters

Just main course

No desert "

Just because you don't want to sleep with someone you can still have a good night, surely???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different strokes for different folks. I just think you should be sensitive to the other persons feelings whatever you decide is right for you.

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Different strokes for different folks. I just think you should be sensitive to the other persons feelings whatever you decide is right for you. "

Exactly! Have a good evening then say goodbye, nobody gets hurt, isn't that what it's all about!

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By *-angel-XWoman
over a year ago

hell

I've had socials where I know immediately I don't fancy them , yet I've stayed and had a lovely cuppa tea and even met again for another cuppa another day , just because I don't fancy them doesn't mean I don't enjoy their company .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had socials where I know immediately I don't fancy them , yet I've stayed and had a lovely cuppa tea and even met again for another cuppa another day , just because I don't fancy them doesn't mean I don't enjoy their company .

So Totally true

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

I would generally meet for a coffee or drink then it's over quickly anyway. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Normally meet for a coffee or drink if it's outside a club, you can tell with in 10 minutes if you click. but to be fair 80% bail or do not show up. This is mainly couples and single women, but some do message which is fine as would rather know than sit there on my own. I prefer meeting at clubs as you can still have a good day even if your stitched up.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I have met guys and thought no way however, I quite like a chat and laugh and wouldn't just bail out. I do make it clear if there is no attraction for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless they were being weird, creepy or offensive I would see the evening out. I rarely do socials anyway. I think I've had 4 in 4 and a bit years. Two ended in sex.

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By *ustthe2ofusXXXCouple
over a year ago

coventry

We always start with a social for this very reason. Nice relaxed atmosphere with a few drinks and see how we all get on together, even if there is no intention of meeting again for whatever reason we both try to make the most of it and still enjoy ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We meet for socials first but keep them brief as you either click or you dont. We have a half hour rule too and then if we don't like someone we make our excuses and leave. I'm very nervous on a meet so socials settle my nerves a bit. One woman we met before we put half hour rule in had us talking for over an hour for her then to say she was too tired and went home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?

If you know more or less straight away

Don't have starters

Just main course

No desert "

No desert are you mad

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By *ournemouthbusinessguyMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?

If you know more or less straight away

Don't have starters

Just main course

No desert

No desert are you mad

what kind of meal doeant include dessert?? unless its Harvester then i wouldn't bother either.

ps. i wouldn't do a meal date for first meet/social. mostly cos i drop food down myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have arranged a meal then why not have it and put it down to a social?

If you know more or less straight away

Don't have starters

Just main course

No desert

No desert are you mad

what kind of meal doeant include dessert?? unless its Harvester then i wouldn't bother either.

ps. i wouldn't do a meal date for first meet/social. mostly cos i drop food down myself!"

I can do talking or eating. If I try to do both at the same time, I don't do either very well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I left after 15 minutes once because it was immediately clear I didn't fancy him, didn't really like him and we had nothing to say to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I left after 15 minutes once because it was immediately clear I didn't fancy him, didn't really like him and we had nothing to say to each other."

15 minutes was about our record too, but that was with a particularly vile couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I left after 15 minutes once because it was immediately clear I didn't fancy him, didn't really like him and we had nothing to say to each other.

15 minutes was about our record too, but that was with a particularly vile couple. "

He wasn't horrible by any stretch of the imagination, I just had no idea what I was going to talk about and wasn't getting much back from him, so I pretended I had to go back to work.

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