FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on how not to develop feelings

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My girlfriend is turned on by the idea of being a 'hotwife' but worried that meeting people would develop feelings & makes her think she would never go past the fantasy stage. It's simply because we haven't tried it that we don't know for sure. Can any females that enjoy the hotwife experience please comment or message me please? As we would really appreciate the advice. I know men try to use the comments to make jokes & entice women, please scroll on if that's your style. Genuine answers please. Thanks ladies.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

It's simple, a night of fun is not the basis for a long lasting relationship.

It's only sex not a life long commitment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's simple, a night of fun is not the basis for a long lasting relationship.

It's only sex not a life long commitment. "

Even if you meet more than once? Or do you have to put limitations like "only for sex"?

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I've been regularly meeting a guy from here for 6 years now. Him and his wife have an open relationship, we're just good friends that happen to fuck a lot that's all it is and will be for either of us, we know the boundaries and it's a line that shouldn't be crossed, I'd walk away completely than cross it

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Everyone has there own limits.

My question would be why is she worried that this could happen?

Has she never fancied a guy without feeling the need to start a relationship?

If she loves you why would it become more unless she wanted it to?

Her emotions are managed by her.

Swinging or hotwifing are no more likely to make her fall in love than a monogamous relationship is to stop her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been regularly meeting a guy from here for 6 years now. Him and his wife have an open relationship, we're just good friends that happen to fuck a lot that's all it is and will be for either of us, we know the boundaries and it's a line that shouldn't be crossed, I'd walk away completely than cross it "

This is interesting?! Thanks for the reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone has there own limits.

My question would be why is she worried that this could happen?

Has she never fancied a guy without feeling the need to start a relationship?

If she loves you why would it become more unless she wanted it to?

Her emotions are managed by her.

Swinging or hotwifing are no more likely to make her fall in love than a monogamous relationship is to stop her."

I've had the same questions, I don't understand it myself, but we will have to talk about it more.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I am fairly logical so it can help.

Put it this way would you fall in love if someone put their finger in your mouth?

What if they did it 10 times?

What if instead of a finger it was a toe or a cock?

What if instead of your mouth it was your pussy?

Basically love it more than physical, so unless the aim is for her to connect emotionally the risk is minimal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We play in the Hotwife scenario and if I'm meeting someone one on one (Mrs ) then I only meet them once . This isn't due to any worry bout feelings developing but might be a solution to her concerns

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am fairly logical so it can help.

Put it this way would you fall in love if someone put their finger in your mouth?

What if they did it 10 times?

What if instead of a finger it was a toe or a cock?

What if instead of your mouth it was your pussy?

Basically love it more than physical, so unless the aim is for her to connect emotionally the risk is minimal. "

This is brilliant, thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's about differentiating between sex and emotions. Perhaps minimise conversations, and making sure that not too many personal things are discussed... Keeping it business at hand per say, so the emotional connection isn't potentially triggered. I know I've managed the no strings mentality a lot easier, if we stick to the subject at hand, rather than delving into confiding in each other, and muddying the waters a little.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Nerves are expected and everyone has them at some point. However if it is fundamental worry or insecurities then it's not going to work. So only explore when you both feel 100% confident in your relationship and that means when involving others.

Set rules in place to help if you need to. For example one of ours is we don't have any individual communication that the other partner doesn't have complete and total access to. So phones for example are open to each other all the time we discuss all our communication.

This will only work if you are both totally open, transparent and honest with each other.

Do all that and then remember explore at your own pace a bit at a time. You don't have to go ahead and jump into a big fuckfest from day one. Just look to move it up a step when you both feel ready.

If you want her to explore then tell her how much one thing turned you on and suggest another small step.

You both have to check in with each other and explore feelings all the way until you are both confident with where you are at.

You're not going through anything different to lots and lots of others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We personally don't have a problem with the incorporation of emotions and sex. Me personally I get a real kick out of the excitement of the development of feelings for a new partner. It soon wears off and I move onto the next. There have been a few guys that have really got under my skin and it's nice to be able to confide in my husband about how I feel. I don't relate it to my relationship or the love I feel for my husband. That raw euphoria of a new relationship is totally different.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a one off meet I find it's easy to not incorporate any feelings and it's just about sex. But if I am seeing someone regularly then I do have to work harder to not get too emotionally involved. But having a special connection for me is what makes it so exciting. Its more of lust than love. Love is for Mr T..

S x

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

Its difficult but for me if i approach it in the way of two people just having fun it doesnt trigger emotional involvement just mutual fun between two consenting adults really xxx

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By *ainbowBrite57Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Is she concerned she would develop feelings or that they would for her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get feelings sometimes. you've just got to accept that nothing will be done about them.

i think it's easy for me to do this as i'm single, not sure how it would be if i had feelings for someone i was with and wanted to keep those feelings while cutting them off for other people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We personally don't have a problem with the incorporation of emotions and sex. Me personally I get a real kick out of the excitement of the development of feelings for a new partner. It soon wears off and I move onto the next. There have been a few guys that have really got under my skin and it's nice to be able to confide in my husband about how I feel. I don't relate it to my relationship or the love I feel for my husband. That raw euphoria of a new relationship is totally different.

Mrs"

This is an interesting response, I might have to message you to get more info if that's ok?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For a one off meet I find it's easy to not incorporate any feelings and it's just about sex. But if I am seeing someone regularly then I do have to work harder to not get too emotionally involved. But having a special connection for me is what makes it so exciting. Its more of lust than love. Love is for Mr T..

S x "

Thanks, I don't want her to have no feelings, as I want her to lust after men & badly want to fuck them & know that she can - and I wouldn't be against her having regulars, as long as she has no fear of developing real "feelings" for them. By the way your account & pics are the best I have seen on here by far. If I was your husband, I'd want to watch you fuck too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is she concerned she would develop feelings or that they would for her? "

Yes, I think she's confused, because she's done stuff with people in the past & not had feelings, but I think that this is all getting pretty real now & it's making her worried. It's really a nervous thing to started swinging or doing the hotwife lifestyle, so I totally get her worries.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was going to reply in a DM & ask some further advice, but it seems I'm out of your age range & can't send messages. Nevermind haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs

This is an interesting response, I might have to message you to get more info if that's ok?"

Happy to advise you privately, but realise you won't be able to get past our age filters. Tried to message you in order to overide our age filters, but we are blocked by your age filters too. Feel free to ask us any questions via the forum though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is she concerned she would develop feelings or that they would for her?

Thank you T is a great photographer so that helps massively. I am still getting my head around that he gets so turned on by seeing me with someone else but I am not complaining..

Take it a step at a time and keep talking to each other.

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about 'feelings' bothers her?

I have feelings for all my lovers - long and short term, regular and irregular. I don't see a problem with this. 'Feelings' aren't limited edition or restricted - the more you give away, the more you generate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mrs

This is an interesting response, I might have to message you to get more info if that's ok?

I understand, that's fine, I didn't even know I put a filter on. I will give it some thought & maybe reply at a later time, thanks again, it really is helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feelings generally take time to develop. If you stick to one off fucks I can't see it being a problem

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep any contact and messages to do with meeting up and sex. We find flirting good fun with couples we already know. Keep any social meets to a minimum. Maybe even decide to meet only in a club so you can miss out the social side of things all together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think meeting the same person on a regular basis.. it does become difficult to keep all emotions at bay. My point of view is from a singles perspective so possibly different when happily married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find not discussing your personal life and family helps just be polite don't ask too many questions of a personal nature at the end of the day enjoy there company and the sex if it happens and tell yourself it's a bit of fun nothing more

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By *5happycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tooting / dept 23 France

In our journey so far, we initially met single men for MMF as that is what I was comfortable with. We met the same few men several times, and would usually spend some time getting to know each other again socially. I felt feelings of friendship for them but not love. Sharing it all with my husband made our love stronger.

I think it would only be a problem if I wasn't sharing it with my husband as that is when you also get that thrill of a forbidden relationship. I personally find that I want different things in different situations. Last night I ended up surrounded by around a dozen men at a club who mostly obliged by spunking on me. Next weekend we are hoping to meet a couple for a social and perhaps to do some couple play. Both situations are horny and both to some extent are part of a 'hot wife' lifestyle. Don't limit yourself to one interpretation, go with what feels right for you at the time.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

You can't prevent feelings but you can choose what to do with them.

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