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First proper club visit nerves....

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By *imnHer71 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hatfield

Hi Fellow Fabbers,

We need something between advice and reassurance and hopefully this will be the place to get it!

We're going to Abfabs tomorrow night for our first time. We're still very new to this and as such a little nervous naturally.

We advertised the meet, had lots of messages saying sorry not to be able to join us (none saying they will yet!), but one in particular has raised a concern, “watch out for the packs of single men” – later clarified, but still….

Although we’d prefer a couple to play with (or two!) we’re not adverse to mmf, but she is fussy as is her right. She’s a special lady whom I’m protective of, (not possessive of) but as this is our first time at this club and where single guys are permitted, we are understandably nervous about that comment.

So, I suppose just looking for your experience, your tactics for telling the pushy guys to bugger off, however so politely or not.

Now, for those who will be going and want to offer to meet us, even for just a chat until we relax down a bit (very welcome), could I ask that we keep that chat to direct messages, not on here please, just easier to manage!

Thanks all!

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

Don't be nervous (easy to say) but a simple "No thank you" should suffice.

You can always walk away and you can always go see the staff.

It'll be fine.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

If you go to pubs for a drink and a chat, it's the same. The difference is some people, somewhere, may be indulging in sex and people in pubs wear more.

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By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

We tried a club a few years ago when we were thinking about playing with others

We went on newbie night it wasn't overly busy but there was a much high proportion of single men to single women & couples

We did find we were followed a little and one guy got s but hands on in the hot tub but when I said no he moved away a few inches and carried on chatting as normal

I think most clubs make the single guys aware not to hassel people and many are regulars are very welcoming & respectful of newbies hoping they'll be invited to play at later visits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is no need to be nervous, be polite to the single men who don't appeal to your preferences, chat to ones you like, respect and honesty works best we find, tell them your boundaries in plain simple language - a simple no thanks or yes please works well. Tell the staff you are a little nervous about how to proceed and they will advise you too. We have been to clubs where there have been loads of single men but once the lady says no or yes they have understood and respected our decision, m x

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By *urreypair1Couple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Have you considered maybe going on a couples only night (Saturday).

You then may find you have eliminated one concern, and it could therefore make your first experience far more relaxed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you fuck in public play areas/orgy rooms then there's a good chance of an audience of wanking men, but they shouldn't approach unless invited or whatever the particular rules of the club are. Go into a private room and you shouldn't get that.

And definitely don't do what I do and go on greedy girls nights!

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've never been hassled in a club.

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By *ovis69 and green eyesMan
over a year ago

valleys

Go with flow, set limits & stick with them & have a safe word between you that means I'm not comfortable & want to stop.

Oh & have fun

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I would say stick together as it's your first time. There is a lounge area where you can sit and chat, if you see a couple you like don't be afraid to approach and start chatting. Compliments go along way.

Feel free to have a wander as well when you are more comfy either up to dungeons or in to cinema to see what is happening. Often something.

If you find that you are being followed just say sorry we are not intreasted or thanks but no thanks. If you find someone that catchs your eye - talk to them, flirt then maybe ask them we are going for a walk would you care to join us.

Clubs are fun places, and nerves are all part of the excitement even for us club regulars. I would say also make sure you have condoms with you just in case.

I hope that helps! - let's us know how you get on

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By *ovis69 and green eyesMan
over a year ago

valleys

[Removed by poster at 07/12/16 08:29:48]

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I would say stick together as it's your first time. There is a lounge area where you can sit and chat, if you see a couple you like don't be afraid to approach and start chatting. Compliments go along way.

Feel free to have a wander as well when you are more comfy either up to dungeons or in to cinema to see what is happening. Often something.

If you find that you are being followed just say sorry we are not intreasted or thanks but no thanks. If you find someone that catchs your eye - talk to them, flirt then maybe ask them we are going for a walk would you care to join us.

Clubs are fun places, and nerves are all part of the excitement even for us club regulars. I would say also make sure you have condoms with you just in case.

I hope that helps! - let's us know how you get on "

Good advice. We have been on Monday, Tuesday and Friday and single guys are fine, you just need to say no if you aren't interested. Not sure how busy it will be on Wednesday and as another person said - you may want to start out on a Saturday as it is couples only. Enjoy, we usually do

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By *cduck and Blue eyesCouple
over a year ago

nr chester

We have never been to abfabs, we do go to townhouse lots and have tried xtasia and cupids, our best advice as its your first time would be to not go with a meet in mind, just go along and see what it's all about, that way, if it's not for you then you won't feel too let down, try not to drink to much to calm nerves as we have heard from others that this never goes well

Also try a few different nights, party nights etc, don't write it off if the first night is a bit quiet or to many singles for you, as nights vary, most of all, take what negatives you hear with a pinch of salt, make your own opinion, it's like anything else, some like macdonalds some think it's a hell hole go with an open mind, it's never as scary as you imagine and fingers crossed have fun Mrs blue eyes

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"We have never been to abfabs, we do go to townhouse lots and have tried xtasia and cupids, our best advice as its your first time would be to not go with a meet in mind, just go along and see what it's all about, that way, if it's not for you then you won't feel too let down, try not to drink to much to calm nerves as we have heard from others that this never goes well

Also try a few different nights, party nights etc, don't write it off if the first night is a bit quiet or to many singles for you, as nights vary, most of all, take what negatives you hear with a pinch of salt, make your own opinion, it's like anything else, some like macdonalds some think it's a hell hole go with an open mind, it's never as scary as you imagine and fingers crossed have fun Mrs blue eyes "

McDonald is a hell hole if in London - northern ones are a bit better

True about don't drink to much - one it effects performance well does me, and it can interfere with descions

Also if you horny go in to a private room lock the door and play together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi Fellow Fabbers,

We need something between advice and reassurance and hopefully this will be the place to get it!

We're going to Abfabs tomorrow night for our first time. We're still very new to this and as such a little nervous naturally.

We advertised the meet, had lots of messages saying sorry not to be able to join us (none saying they will yet!), but one in particular has raised a concern, “watch out for the packs of single men” – later clarified, but still….

Although we’d prefer a couple to play with (or two!) we’re not adverse to mmf, but she is fussy as is her right. She’s a special lady whom I’m protective of, (not possessive of) but as this is our first time at this club and where single guys are permitted, we are understandably nervous about that comment.

So, I suppose just looking for your experience, your tactics for telling the pushy guys to bugger off, however so politely or not.

Now, for those who will be going and want to offer to meet us, even for just a chat until we relax down a bit (very welcome), could I ask that we keep that chat to direct messages, not on here please, just easier to manage!

Thanks all!"

Our first time we had a guy keep asking if he could touch and play with J in the end I turned around and politely said look she's told you no now I'm telling you no, just tell them no means no and enjoy. We really enjoy the club you only play if you want

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By *rs DreamweaverWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Hot lady,!!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

How did it go?

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