FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on dealing with messsges on here

By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

Hiya

I am fairly new to this website so after some advice

On our profile I'm quite specific about what I'm after (i.e. a cock bigger than my husband, he had pics on here)

I keep getting messages from guys obviously smaller who then get aggressive if I either ignore & delete the messsge or politely point out that our profile states I'm looking for something bigger than my Mr

Or should I just outright block people

Surely we all have a right to have our own preference i.e. I'm curvy I know some people will only want slim women, I'm not offended by that I'm just not their fit

I'm just getting fed up with people not accepting no for an answer, as they are wasting both our times

Thanks in advance for any replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hiya

I am fairly new to this website so after some advice

On our profile I'm quite specific about what I'm after (i.e. a cock bigger than my husband, he had pics on here)

Or should I just outright block people

Surely we all have a right to have our own preference i.e. I'm curvy I know some people will only want slim women, I'm not offended by that I'm just not their fit

I'm just getting fed up with people not accepting no for an answer, as they are wasting both our times

Thanks in advance for any replies "

Simple. If you are not interested in them, block them.

Or change your filters and do the contacting yourself.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I rarely give a reason for saying no, but telling a bloke his cock is too small will never go down well.

If I reply to someone it is just - thank you for your message but no thank you. He has no reason to take offence that way.

Either that or stop anyone from mailing you and do the searching yourself, mail those who fit your criteria.

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By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

"I rarely give a reason for saying no, but telling a bloke his cock is too small will never go down well.

If I reply to someone it is just - thank you for your message but no thank you. He has no reason to take offence that way.

Either that or stop anyone from mailing you and do the searching yourself, mail those who fit your criteria. "

It was the 5th time of saying no thank you gat I referred him back to my profile I'm not totally heartless lol

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By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

"Hiya

I am fairly new to this website so after some advice

On our profile I'm quite specific about what I'm after (i.e. a cock bigger than my husband, he had pics on here)

Or should I just outright block people

Surely we all have a right to have our own preference i.e. I'm curvy I know some people will only want slim women, I'm not offended by that I'm just not their fit

I'm just getting fed up with people not accepting no for an answer, as they are wasting both our times

Thanks in advance for any replies

Simple. If you are not interested in them, block them.

Or change your filters and do the contacting yourself."

I hadn't realised you could put filters on so people can't contact you at all, we do have some filters, I'll look into that, thanks & I'll also stop feeling guilty about blocking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hiya

I am fairly new to this website so after some advice

On our profile I'm quite specific about what I'm after (i.e. a cock bigger than my husband, he had pics on here)

Or should I just outright block people

Surely we all have a right to have our own preference i.e. I'm curvy I know some people will only want slim women, I'm not offended by that I'm just not their fit

I'm just getting fed up with people not accepting no for an answer, as they are wasting both our times

Thanks in advance for any replies

Simple. If you are not interested in them, block them.

Or change your filters and do the contacting yourself.

I hadn't realised you could put filters on so people can't contact you at all, we do have some filters, I'll look into that, thanks & I'll also stop feeling guilty about blocking

There is no need to feel guilty. It is a site tool to prevent just the sort of hassle you are referring to.

Just send a polite message saying not for you (if it makes you feel better) and then block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

change your filters so you do the searching..

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By *ex-a-frolicsCouple
over a year ago

Brizzle

Why not set your filters to block single guys & do the searching yourselves?

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Don't worry about bulk blocking, It says quite clearly in our profile we only want a bi-fem, despite this before we blocked them we'd get more messages from guys than girls..Go figure

As said, block them all & search yourselves..

Good luck on your search

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i used to feel guilty about blocking as well when i first joined. after a while on here i don't care now and always defend being 'ignorant' as it makes less hassle for us.

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By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

Thanks everyone

I hadn't realised you could filter so no one could contact you I'm looking into that now

It's such a shame because many are nice but we've only been here a week and had a fair few idiots already

In our first 2 days we had over 400 messages and I'd say over 100 of them were from the same 10 guys complaining I hadn't responded to previous messages calling me a tease (well that's the polite version of what they said) but if they hadn't been spamming me I might well have been able to respond - they obviously got blocked without any guilt

Thanks again for your help

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"I rarely give a reason for saying no, but telling a bloke his cock is too small will never go down well.

If I reply to someone it is just - thank you for your message but no thank you. He has no reason to take offence that way.

Either that or stop anyone from mailing you and do the searching yourself, mail those who fit your criteria.

It was the 5th time of saying no thank you gat I referred him back to my profile I'm not totally heartless lol"

Why keep replying to him? Say no once then ignore, if they keep on then hit the block button. If he knows he is outside your preferences (had he bothered to read the profile) then you don't owe him more than 1 reply.... if that, many don't.

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By *itsAndTaff OP Couple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

Because I'm an idiot and was trying to be polite and reply to all messages now they had died down and come through st a realistic pace

Lesson learnt thou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely give a reason for saying no, but telling a bloke his cock is too small will never go down well.

If I reply to someone it is just - thank you for your message but no thank you. He has no reason to take offence that way.

Either that or stop anyone from mailing you and do the searching yourself, mail those who fit your criteria.

It was the 5th time of saying no thank you gat I referred him back to my profile I'm not totally heartless lol"

I started off trying to be nice, then got fed up with trying to smooth ruffled feathers and soothing damaged egos. As heartless as it sounds, it is far easier to say, 'no thanks' then block. No trying to explain, no fending off nasty-grams. Blokes moan all the time about the delete and block method, but when you have been on the receiving end of some of the messages that some rejected blokes can deliver, you soon learn to amputate quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply with no thank you and block.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

My profile clearly states... I haven't got time to send no thank you messages... so if I delete without a reply, take it as I'm not interested.. unfortunately, they don't bother reading which results in abusive messages for ignoring.

I use my filters and always read profiles before opening a message. To me, if the profile is lazy.. the person isn't going to be much better lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just ignore them,no one likes to be ignored,and if they haven't the decency to respect your profile wishes,why should they expect a favourable response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My profile clearly states... I haven't got time to send no thank you messages... so if I delete without a reply, take it as I'm not interested.. unfortunately, they don't bother reading which results in abusive messages for ignoring."

The problem with that if the message is unread the guy doesn't know whether the woman has seen his message and made a conscious decision or whether she's just bulk deleted a load of messages and not even read his/looked at his profile. So he might think it's politely worth having another ago...

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Once a message is sent, don't keep checking its status. They will either, eventually, reply or delete. These ladies are inundated with messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have filters in place, and I have worded our profile in such a way that I believe discourages random reach outs. As a result we only get about a message a day from people we don't know. If it looks like the messager has made no effort we delete, otherwise we politely reply. We have never had any abuse for rejection, and we rarely feel the need to block. There are a handful of men and couples that have made a bit of a nuisance of themselves, and a handful of men that were sexually inappropriate with their first message, so we will block in those situation. But I can honestly say we don't have the problems that a lot of people talk about. I think filters help.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a message is sent, don't keep checking its status. They will either, eventually, reply or delete. These ladies are inundated with messages

Yes but that wasn't really the point I was making...

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Once a message is sent, don't keep checking its status. They will either, eventually, reply or delete. These ladies are inundated with messages

Yes but that wasn't really the point I was making..."

My apologies, what is the point you were trying to make

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Hiya

I am fairly new to this website so after some advice

On our profile I'm quite specific about what I'm after (i.e. a cock bigger than my husband, he had pics on here)

Or should I just outright block people

Surely we all have a right to have our own preference i.e. I'm curvy I know some people will only want slim women, I'm not offended by that I'm just not their fit

I'm just getting fed up with people not accepting no for an answer, as they are wasting both our times

Thanks in advance for any replies

Simple. If you are not interested in them, block them.

Or change your filters and do the contacting yourself."

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By *ougar_n_TILFCouple
over a year ago

Burton on Trent

"Hiya

I am fairly new to this website so after some advice

On our profile I'm quite specific about what I'm after (i.e. a cock bigger than my husband, he had pics on here)

Or should I just outright block people

Surely we all have a right to have our own preference i.e. I'm curvy I know some people will only want slim women, I'm not offended by that I'm just not their fit

I'm just getting fed up with people not accepting no for an answer, as they are wasting both our times

Thanks in advance for any replies "

Filter out messages from single men. You know what you want so go looking for it, rather than wait for it to come to you. 90% of men sem to have a dick pic anyway. If you leave it to them all you'll get is guys who just think they'll chance their arm.

It's your sex life, take control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If u specify on your profile what u want and will delete messages from people that don't match that... they can get as angry as they want. They knew the risk when sending the message.

I find it helpful to block all profiles you defo aren't interested in so they can't message again and lessens the pool of guys who can contact u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once a message is sent, don't keep checking its status. They will either, eventually, reply or delete. These ladies are inundated with messages

Yes but that wasn't really the point I was making...

My apologies, what is the point you were trying to make

Paragraph 2 above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block everyone and do the searcing yourself, works a treat for me.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Once a message is sent, don't keep checking its status. They will either, eventually, reply or delete. These ladies are inundated with messages

Yes but that wasn't really the point I was making...

My apologies, what is the point you were trying to make

Paragraph 2 above. "

Ok, thank you. So these single ladies are inundated with messages on a daily basis, they will most probably reply to those single guys, who stand out to them and are compatible and delete the rest without reading. Some of you, unfortunately, won't be for them. No harm in sending another message though just in case they have missed your message!

Good luck!

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