FabSwingers.com forum: Social Presence not translating into play meets!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I went through my verifications tonight. Verified by 33 people, but only 9 of them are actual play meets or a play social that I attended.

Many single men here moan about not getting meets, and often it's because they aren't putting themselves out there for socials and whatnot (not flying their flag enough basically). Clearly that's not an issue for me, so what's it I'm doing wrong that my Fab profile looks more like something off a dating website when it comes to the interactions I have with people?

It's nice to meet people socially and have drinks and a good time overall. But this is Fab, let's be honest the sex is the main reason why we joined in the first place. If my presence being confirmed at large social meets and parties aren't translating into me getting opportunities to play then what's the whole point of it all?

Someone please enlighten me or give some advice! Thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?

Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Out of the 33, how many would you feel would be needed to convert to play for you to feel successful?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Out of the 33, how many would you feel would be needed to convert to play for you to feel successful? "

Maybe half?? Like something round 15 would be par fine for the course.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?

Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.

Oh I know about managing expectations but it's just been in my experience to run into too many on here just faffing about and not really knowing what they're after. Like neither here nor there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?

Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.

Oh I know about managing expectations but it's just been in my experience to run into too many on here just faffing about and not really knowing what they're after. Like neither here nor there. "

If you're questioning the point of being here it seems that your expectations aren't being met.

Could the problem be one of compatibility rather than other people not knowing what they're after?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Out of the 33, how many would you feel would be needed to convert to play for you to feel successful?

Maybe half?? Like something round 15 would be par fine for the course. "

My honest opinion is you have too high an expectation on compatibility and a somewhat negative outlook. Remember everyone in Starbucks - I'm bi so could choose anyone and not one person interested me. I'm not for everyone, everyone's not for me. Same with you. Focus on those that are interested in you, forget the rest. You have a 1 in 4 ratio and I think you do far better than most. Complaining and looking at the negative can come across as unattractive which may also put people of. HTH

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think there's anything wrong as such. If you went to 33 social occasions off Fab would you consider 9 of them ending sexually a success or a failure?

Its true for you that sex is the main reason to be here but not for everyone so I would say its possibly a case of managing expectations rather than anything being wrong.

Oh I know about managing expectations but it's just been in my experience to run into too many on here just faffing about and not really knowing what they're after. Like neither here nor there.

If you're questioning the point of being here it seems that your expectations aren't being met.

Could the problem be one of compatibility rather than other people not knowing what they're after?"

Possibly. It's definitely something that I do keep at the back of my head too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm."

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

Being disrespectful or lacking conversation skills are definitely the last thing anyone has said of me. So explain to me why that hasn't translated into my favour and I see so many profiles in my area moaning about disrespectful men messing them about and spamming messages?

All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

It's not just for swingers though.The social side does nothing for me and as a single guy it's not really the best thing either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! "

Being respectful and the ability to hold a conversation does NOT make someone want to fuck you! I've given advice privately by email, over coffee in person and now again. It's the same questions you're asking. I don't get what it is you don't get about this. People have choice. Some do some don't. I'm out. Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! "

I was quoting cobaltkid

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such!

I was quoting cobaltkid"

Like l was saying though, what you like is not what all like.

You don't need a social for sex. Two adults who are mutually attracted is all it takes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I would still go along to these socials with no expectations other than to meet new people.

Then you won't feel disappointed about going home alone but happy you had a good night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amesB66Man
over a year ago

St Peter Port

Read your profile and veris. Me thinks you protest too much!

Socials are not just a pre cursor to sex, they are a means of introducing ourselves and seeing whether there is enough of a connection to take things further.

I have made many more social, than sexual friends on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such!

I was quoting cobaltkid

Like l was saying though, what you like is not what all like.

You don't need a social for sex. Two adults who are mutually attracted is all it takes."

I don't know if I'm attracted til I've met someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I don't see any problem with your social to play ratio. Socialising is a prerequisite for many people in here, sometimes there will then be a mutual attraction which will lead to play and sometimes there won't. It's really quite simple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps you're not 'closing the deal' so to speak? are you waiting for others you meet at socials to make the move?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're sounding quite entitled to me, like you have a right to more sex than you're getting. Quite a shitty attitude, and probably makes you no better than the time wasters and spammers. You can't make people have sex with you, if they don't fancy you or want to sleep with you, they won't. Simple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another

person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

All these are legit point and by no means moaning. So please don't dismiss them as such! "

It's simple... you aren't what they are looking for, and maybe you weren't anyway but a social would just reinforce that assumption

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean by faffing about. This is why I don't do socials. I want sex, not a date, though I've just been for the forums atm.

The social side of swinging can be as important as the SEX !!!!!!

No its NOT a date but the art of conversation and respect may actually get you somewhere nearer to another person's bed.

It's a swing site NOT a sex site.

It's not just for swingers though.The social side does nothing for me and as a single guy it's not really the best thing either."

With all due respect Cobalt Kid, if it's automatic guaranteed sex you want with no faffing around, are you sure this is the right site for you? Not being funny, but an escort site is really the only way to achieve that if you don't want to faff around.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're sounding quite entitled to me, like you have a right to more sex than you're getting. Quite a shitty attitude, and probably makes you no better than the time wasters and spammers. You can't make people have sex with you, if they don't fancy you or want to sleep with you, they won't. Simple."

Not to mention the disproportionate amount of men who are here looking for sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

For me I would say it's about 50% but for me I know I am not suited to people's tastes for various reasons

I have said my conversion from social to play should or could be higher, as it is what it is. Don't get me wrong there are people on my social list that i want to play with but it is a case of right person right time

There are a couple where it has been soft play only but they have said no fucking, and that is fine, some have been at social events where I have got talking to someone and we have got on but due to distance and what they are looking for sex won't happen

I think if your having socials then that's a step 1, maybe if your not converting maybe think are you being to full on or not chatty enough or are you not what people expected from photos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/16 08:30:28]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking conversion rates? When did swinging turn into a sales seminar? Personally, I find the concept of "closing the deal" and "conversion rates" highly disrespectful. You're talking about human beings sharing an intimate time with you like your month end figures, you've have met more people than the majority of the usual single guy sob stories and still not happy? Wow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Knobber alert

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I think you are doing fine. You've been to socials and successfully converted some of them to sex. Some men never get a meet and can't even hope to get a meet. It's a shame when men feel that they are wasting time on socials. Men have throughout history had to make an effort to get sex and risk rejection. But somehow there is a belief that Fab will mean men can, not only bypass by the 'making the effort' stage to getting sex, but also have a guaranteed shag at the end of that effort. In reality all Fab does is put sexually liberated men and women together. But that doesn't mean these sexually liberated women don't require attraction or things being said to excite them.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

andover

OP it takes chemistry before we play ,easy as that..keep looking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread