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Does being on here mean I'm not relationship material ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends what relationship the guy wants really.

a guy wanting a swinging relationship and was into you would consider it.

if he wants someone monogamous then he probably wouldn't.

if it's coz you're a 'slag' then he's probably a hypocrite.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"
no. He is wrong.

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By *ustMe06Woman
over a year ago

...the naughty spot.


"depends what relationship the guy wants really.

a guy wanting a swinging relationship and was into you would consider it.

if he wants someone monogamous then he probably wouldn't.

if it's coz you're a 'slag' then he's probably a hypocrite."

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Well he's right from his point of view.

I suspect lots of men would agree with him. Plenty wouldn't though and they're the ones you're compatible with.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material "

You want different things so aren't compatible. Sorry if it hurt

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By *onny MCMan
over a year ago

Crawley

We're years away from getting away from the double standards when it comes to men and women and attitudes to sex unfortunately. There are however, plenty of guys who'll be able to see you for you and not your past, which will matter even less if that guy wants a swinging relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material "

with context my reply is now different.

just because HE doesn't want a relationship with you doesn't mean you are not relationship material.

like nicecouple said you're just not compatible. dunno why he felt the need to blame you but that wasn't right of him or nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material "

He sounds like a dick. I'm sure many men would jump at the chance to be in a swinging couple with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To some you won't be, because of the amount of sexual partners you have had.

I've had men tell me I have too many regular partners and think that we should limit the number of men we have sex with.

I'm not looking for a relationship so I don't care what men think of me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It doesn't hurt just made me question my life style as who wants to be all be alone for ever

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It doesn't hurt just made me question my life style as who wants to be all be alone for ever "

All you can do is be true to yourself. You can't make a relationship with anyone otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax


"We're years away from getting away from the double standards when it comes to men and women and attitudes to sex unfortunately. There are however, plenty of guys who'll be able to see you for you and not your past, which will matter even less if that guy wants a swinging relationship. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well let's hope fate is in my favour and a hot single local guy on here fancies giving me a chance lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of people on here are in happy relationships

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lucky sods

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met my ex on here, we ended up in a non swinging relationship.

Unfortunately my trust issues with the swinging past broke us up.

Guess it depends on what each individual person wants from a relationship.

Just because you are on this site as a single, doesn't mean you couldn't be relationship material as a swinger or non swinging couple!

His loss honey x

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 29/11/16 22:32:28]

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"
said by aman with insecurity issues, worried he cant come up to a womans expectations, if shes had a lifestyle like this....so decided to try and disempower you, through projecting his crap as your fault..no hes not the one..someone may be though, look at all the peeps that get together on here, for swinging or non swinging relationships...shake it off. x

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By *uggs71Man
over a year ago

london

Depends what you define as your relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never seen a successful long term relationship on fab, I've seen many of my friends couple up, and it fails miserably, as trust is an issue from day 1. And my experience of the men on here, is they want you to be a good girl, whilst they are still shagging around. Fab is a strange parallel dimension.

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton


"We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material "

Sorry but what a dick

So you were good enough for 8 months three times a week for for a fuck but to fuck other people together hell no?

Please tell me you are no longer fulfilling his weekly needs anymore.

You are worth way more than that even if it's just sex.

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By *abydollxxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham - Selly oak

I met my partner at a swingers club, both of us were already on here and we're both monogamous right now.

He sounds like a dick.. and you can do better than someone with a closed mind.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

He's a jerk. His loss. I'm like you would love to form a relationship with someone. Eventually I'll find him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You both have to be somewhere on the same page (at least in the same chapter) and swinging has to be a dietary supplement rather than the main meal. Did he take you out for a bite to eat, a drink, go to the cinema, spend a weekend away together doing something completely non-related to swinging ... apart from fishing .. that doesn't count (hours of misery in the bloody rain - that counts as S&M) ... Sorry where was I ... if he didn't do the non-swing thing he is definitely a DICK ... and you probably should have spotted it. Carla x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well let's hope fate is in my favour and a hot single local guy on here fancies giving me a chance lol "

People are people ... there's so many variables between all of us..

However, if u find ur soulmate/ fuck buddy / whatever... if it makes u both happy then off u go...

It's just finding the right person for you...

BE PROUD OF YOUR PAST AND PRESENT... and the future will look after itself.

That's what I believe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He's a jerk. His loss. I'm like you would love to form a relationship with someone. Eventually I'll find him."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

"

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dying for nice pussy on my face x

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

I am amazed at all the responses calling him names?

You had your meets with him, you were both happy to be "fuck buddies" or what ever your agreement between you both was.

You wanted more, he didn't. He was honest with you, even if you don't like his opinion.

I don't see the double standard.

In answer to the ops question, no, you are not relationship material to him.

That doesn't mean you are not relationship material to other people, just not him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Swinging is all about exploring yourself and sharing new experiences. The right guy would be more than happy for you to continue swinging as he will be the one who benefits from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dying for nice pussy on my face x"

It's highly unlikely you're going to get meets from leaving random I want pussy comments on threads - this is the third I've seen from you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Complete tosh OP. Relationships have been formed from fab. Says more about his mindset towards fab women, in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly his attitude sounds like the classic threads such as I want to fuck any man's wife but I'd never let anyone fuck mine. Don't worry OP as many others have said just because that's how he feels someone else would be more than happy to have a swinging relationship with you.

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By *he Ginger PrincessWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material "

What a twat. Neither us he by the sounds of things!

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth


" I've never seen a successful long term relationship on fab, I've seen many of my friends couple up, and it fails miserably, as trust is an issue from day 1. And my experience of the men on here, is they want you to be a good girl, whilst they are still shagging around. Fab is a strange parallel dimension. "

Waves

Now you've seen a successful long term relationship together 3.5 years, living together 3 years and married 18months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sounds like a dickhead. You don't need negativity like that in your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him. "

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


" I've never seen a successful long term relationship on fab, I've seen many of my friends couple up, and it fails miserably, as trust is an issue from day 1. And my experience of the men on here, is they want you to be a good girl, whilst they are still shagging around. Fab is a strange parallel dimension. "

Totally agree!!!

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I know plenty of couples who met on sex sites and who have been together years. Some become monogamous and some continue to swing.

Although we did not meet on a sex site, my wife and I have been openly seeing others for 13 years now. It is not something that disqualifies one from a relationship.

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"
ignore it...ultimately if your on here seeking a relationship in all honesty I Don,t think its for you.

We all have buissy lives,just on here to help each other out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??ignore it...ultimately if your on here seeking a relationship in all honesty I Don,t think its for you.

We all have buissy lives,just on here to help each other out. "

Speak for yourself. Plenty of us are open to relationships with other swingers.

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

I had the same thing happen to me. Was told I wasn't suitable gf material because of meeting on fab. He would only date girls he met from pof and non sex sites as they weren't sluts. However while he was going on dates he was still good to fuck me till things got serious with one of them.

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??ignore it...ultimately if your on here seeking a relationship in all honesty I Don,t think its for you.

We all have buissy lives,just on here to help each other out. "

No..that's not what I would call helping out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

"

No it doesnt. He hasnt said anything about what he believes is a 'proper' boyfriend. Hes only mentioned that shes not gf material...if he had said that he IS bf material then that would be double standards as he would be holding her to a different standard to himself. He doesnt appear to have said that so double standards dont apply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"depends what relationship the guy wants really.

a guy wanting a swinging relationship and was into you would consider it.

if he wants someone monogamous then he probably wouldn't.

if it's coz you're a 'slag' then he's probably a hypocrite.

This "

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By *rs-Naughty_Mr-CuddlesCouple
over a year ago

Nr coleford

I think my wife would disagree with you on that as we meet on here and when we have time we still play

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

You wasnt girlfriend material to him. Was he even looking for a girlfriend. Maybe you sprung it on him.

To others you may be relationship material.

No relationship ive been in has judged me on my lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met my ex on here, we ended up in a non swinging relationship.

Unfortunately my trust issues with the swinging past broke us up.

Guess it depends on what each individual person wants from a relationship.

Just because you are on this site as a single, doesn't mean you couldn't be relationship material as a swinger or non swinging couple!

His loss honey x "

Same with me hun. I just wished he had told me he wanted to play as a single behind my back at the same time. Their loss! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/11/16 18:15:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met here both on single relationships now living together and been a couple 16 months. Anything is possible if it's the right person for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met my ex on here, we ended up in a non swinging relationship.

Unfortunately my trust issues with the swinging past broke us up.

Guess it depends on what each individual person wants from a relationship.

Just because you are on this site as a single, doesn't mean you couldn't be relationship material as a swinger or non swinging couple!

His loss honey x

Same with me hun. I just wished he had told me he wanted to play as a single behind my back at the same time. Their loss! X"

My ex never cheated on me and I never cheated on him.

Just I found it too hard to trust him and it tore us apart

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's like a mine field I think I'll just have to believe in fate and what's meant to be will happen

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By *rixieswTV/TS
over a year ago

S.Westerly

Well in my humble opinion? I am on here as a TV and does that make me non relationship material as well?

How cool would it be to find a kindred spirit on here? The best relationships start with out the secrets and inhibitions don't they? Or am I dreaming?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't make you non-relationship material but it does make it less likely to find someone who wants a relationship with you.

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

It's OK for guys but not women, even some FB's think that way, Fuck em x

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"It doesn't make you non-relationship material but it does make it less likely to find someone who wants a relationship with you. "
why? frightened they cant keep up ?

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"It's OK for guys but not women, even some FB's think that way, Fuck em x"

It's no different at all between men or women if you ask me. If someone doesn't think that you are relationship material to them, then that is it, no relationship. It works both ways....if people can't handle casual sex between consenting adults without demanding it turn into a relationship then maybe a swinging lifestyle is not for them, they are either looking for more or have fallen for their playmates.

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

Aye, most single women on here are either narcassists or a bit dodgy, all those dramas n shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

"

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't make you non-relationship material but it does make it less likely to find someone who wants a relationship with you. "

Rubbish. You just both need to be looking for the same thing, whatever that thing is. It is about compatibility.

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list. "

What a dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

What a dick "

Exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list. "

Well that is double standards cos he'll holding himself to a diff standard to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. We are all damned. Fab is a city of sin like those from the Bible, with people fucking like it's the end times.

That reminds me to update my account to silver!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list. "

Do you tend to shag 'short cabbage patch dolls' often?? Or did he become ugly when he dumped you

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

No, we cannot see how living a swingers lifestyle would make you non relationship material. You have a nice profile and photo's and come over perfectly nirmally on here. Just put it down to wrong person/wrong time. Keep smiling and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

Do you tend to shag 'short cabbage patch dolls' often?? Or did he become ugly when he dumped you "

when you find out someone is a dickhead they usually become uglier. that's just how it works.

i didn't fancy my ex when i met him, he turned into the best looking guy in the world when i fell for him, when i found out he was a dickhead he went back to being ugly.

that's just how it works for some of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

Do you tend to shag 'short cabbage patch dolls' often?? Or did he become ugly when he dumped you "

Actually, I am not a shallow person and do not pick my friends or play partners on how gym fit or good looking they are. I always thought he looked like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, but one with a cheeky grin and a good sense of humour. It may have come across as a bit of a post -dump, put-down, but is is a genuine physical description of him. As I said, we had chatted and flirted for ages before we got together, I got to know (I thought) the real guy behind the goofy grin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

He sounds like one of the many male's on here who would never accept a woman that swings as girlfriend or wife material..yet it's OK for them to put it about but they still look for the vestal Virginia aka the unicorn who will be miraculously experienced in all sexual matters they desire but never done anything with another male

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

Do you tend to shag 'short cabbage patch dolls' often?? Or did he become ugly when he dumped you

when you find out someone is a dickhead they usually become uglier. that's just how it works.

i didn't fancy my ex when i met him, he turned into the best looking guy in the world when i fell for him, when i found out he was a dickhead he went back to being ugly.

that's just how it works for some of us."

Precisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

Do you tend to shag 'short cabbage patch dolls' often?? Or did he become ugly when he dumped you

when you find out someone is a dickhead they usually become uglier. that's just how it works.

i didn't fancy my ex when i met him, he turned into the best looking guy in the world when i fell for him, when i found out he was a dickhead he went back to being ugly.

that's just how it works for some of us."

Ah, the fickle world of swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

Do you tend to shag 'short cabbage patch dolls' often?? Or did he become ugly when he dumped you

when you find out someone is a dickhead they usually become uglier. that's just how it works.

i didn't fancy my ex when i met him, he turned into the best looking guy in the world when i fell for him, when i found out he was a dickhead he went back to being ugly.

that's just how it works for some of us.

Ah, the fickle world of swinging "

men just need to offer us what we're looking for.

some of us are more versatile than wanting a hot guy to fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Absolute crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We was regular fuck buddies as in 3 times a week for approx 8 months both on here as single profiles I suggested we stop messing around and become a swinging couple his response your not relationship material "

Wow. I hope you don't see that charmer again.

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

What a Twat! He was here too!!! Better off finding a nice swinger guy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Depends on the relationship, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a complicated question and something I think about often.... The dynamics of a post swinging regular relationship, ability to be monogamous etc.

I guess girls have the upper hand when it comes to getting laid but guys generally choose who they want to stay with for a serious relationship

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By *exycouple68Couple
over a year ago

herefordshire


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

I met my future husband on here . Yes we both still meet other people too . So being on here doesn't mean your not relationship material

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's totally true

Or maybe he's just another person off the internet who has a stupid opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same has happened to me. Twice now.

As a previous poster said, double standards.

How is it double standards? Maybe he accepts the same would be said about him.

Double standards because they were on dating sites as well and no doubt would choose a woman who was not on fab or a similar site for a girlfriend. To say 'not girlriend material' suggests they have expectations of what constitutes a 'proper' girlfriend but none of what constitutes a 'proper' boyfriend.

I met a guy at a regular naturist event, ( no swinging mentioned). He was younger than me, but we got on really well, had a hoot everytime we met. Eventually hooked up and had some fun a few times both at his place and mine. It seemed to be going well. He then confessed to being on here, so being honest myself, I told him that I was too. He had a complete attitude change towards me. We had an interesting conversation where he told me that he was on POF too, was looking for a woman who was younger than him, gym fit, good looking, unmarried and without kids. And once she appeared, I would be dumped immediately. He was surprised at my reaction! Anyway, given that he is in his mid-40s, is short and looks like a grown-up cabbage patch doll, I think he is going to be waiting a long time. But he couldn't see how I was upset about his attitude change....we had met elsewhere and I could have lied and gone -Fab what?? Double-standards, but at least it showed early on what a twat he was. (He is still on here...cosily occupying a berth on my block list.

What a dick "

Twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could be argued that if the relationship sought by a potential partner is one of exclusive monogamy, , but then when was the last time you saw a chest you appreciated dressed entirely in such an unweildly material. , i think its had its day , in fact its mere mention on here may cause a few heads to swivel. . Then again, if the monogamous relationship was suggested by beyonce knowles, michele obama, or sophie dahl, uma thurman, macie gray, or helen mirren, then id take me woodstain and never darken this website door,(or is it a portal) , again. If however this person was never on your radar anyway , id be fairly certain they would be your number one public relations spokesperson , whether you asked for it or not, . so until i was sure who i was discussing my membership here with and why, id keep it confidential for my own piece of mind if it was me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The penny drops, the op is female and the judge is male. wow such lofty ideals, and damning certainty, let me guess, , does he have similarly dim views of your other friends too, could be you can skip away whistling and clicking your heels , knowing you had a fortunate escape, from a beast of burden, and a decade of being barefoot and pregnant, smile, accept his word graciously as its soon to be inscribed on tablets of stone so the world will know he is the judge, and shiver a little , while winking at you. .

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By *xcilentoMan
over a year ago

birmingham

every one is relationship material think we're on ea to experience new things and enjoy are life's but if we find right person or wanna settle down we will but everyone different and may not agree with me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think, if you're on a site like this, there's a good chance you can separate physical desires and satisfaction from emotional attachment. So you're on a site with many others who feel/think the same.

Just because we're sexually liberated, or promiscuous, or a little bit kinky, or just plain outright insatiable sex addicts.....none of that precludes us from finding someone who really gets us, who we can make a genuine loving connection with......someone who won't ask us to change or stop what we do, but will totally love that part of us......maybe even encourage it!

Being here doesn't mean you're not relationship material. It just means you enjoy your body, and pbysical/sexual pleasure, beyond what "conventional" people understand or accept.

I think it says more about the person who said it to you. It says that HE is not relationship material, and that he has come to this site because he's no getting any (or enough, if we're being kind) sex in his day-to-day life.

I feel quite sad for him, if that's the case, because we're not about that, and he's missing out on sooooo much!

We're here because we enjoy it, it's part of our daily lives and who we are. And if you're looking for, or open to the possibility of, relationships, what better place to find that than amongst like-minded people?

Sorry I went on a bit. Just my thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

He's right, its not.

Its funny because Fab (and swinging in general) tend to attract couples who, from what I have seen, were older and pretty strong in their relationship. But, to be quite frank, I think alot of the population of single females here is made up of rather delusional people who allow men's desperation (and the false idea that this site is just some haven for easy sex) to imbue them with a very false sense of reality.

Lets just be realistic here, most men really, really dont like the idea of sharing their partners and the ones that do often enjoy it more for a sense of sexual satisfaction than any real desire for their woman to fulfill her sexual desires. Hence why most cuckold/swapping couples often tend to be brought into the swinging world by the male half.

I notice this same delusional female thinking on alot of dating sites actually. I think the ease of access to sex has created a very misguided idea among many that sex is all that required for a good relationship. Thats simply offering sex should be enough to reward yourself with male companionship. Most men (including those on here, if they're being honest) will treat those who they seek on here very differently to those who they want to "commit" to. The only thing I find pathetic is the men who continue to lie to women by misrepresenting reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Just because we're sexually liberated, or promiscuous, or a little bit kinky, or just plain outright insatiable sex addicts.....none of that precludes us from finding someone who really gets us, who we can make a genuine loving connection with......someone who won't ask us to change or stop what we do, but will totally love that part of us......maybe even encourage it!

Being here doesn't mean you're not relationship material. It just means you enjoy your body, and pbysical/sexual pleasure, beyond what "conventional" people understand or accept.

I think it says more about the person who said it to you. It says that HE is not relationship material, and that he has come to this site because he's no getting any (or enough, if we're being kind) sex in his day-to-day life.

I feel quite sad for him, if that's the case, because we're not about that, and he's missing out on sooooo much!

We're here because we enjoy it, it's part of our daily lives and who we are. And if you're looking for, or open to the possibility of, relationships, what better place to find that than amongst like-minded people?

Sorry I went on a bit. Just my thoughts. "

TBH this is the exact kind of post modernistic claptrap which has led to the desperate state of relationships and marriage in general. People seem to think that everything they do is okay and everyone must accept it.

I inform every woman I date or take serious that I have been on a swinging site and explored the swinging world. And I always accept it when some of them refuse to take me seriously because of the lifestyle. So be it. In fact, I found the fact that they were turned off kind of understandable.

You decisions have consequences and human beings are not entirely rational. There seems to be this pervading idea that, despite what your lifestyle choices, you're somehow entitled to a fulfilling relationship. That is simply not the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the contrary; everyone is entitled to have a relationship with someone (provided the other party feels the same, obviously!), and everyone is entitled to find someone they want to share a lot of their life with.

That's got nothing to do with their sexual tastes/preferences, as long as both are happy with it then who are you to say otherwise?

Nothing post-modernist about that, but you strike me as the kind of angry, cynical,maybe even bitter, person who needs to categorise and label.

Maybe I'm wrong and I'm doing you a disservice. Maybe you're thinking of replying "who I am and what I think is none of your business"......which it isn't, any more than it's your business to say who is or isn't "relationship material" based on your own negative opinions about swinging. Maybe I REALLY misconstrued what you were saying there. If I did, oops. Soz!

Don't think I did tho. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the contrary; everyone is entitled to have a relationship with someone (provided the other party feels the same, obviously!), and everyone is entitled to find someone they want to share a lot of their life with.

That's got nothing to do with their sexual tastes/preferences, as long as both are happy with it then who are you to say otherwise?

Nothing post-modernist about that, but you strike me as the kind of angry, cynical,maybe even bitter, person who needs to categorise and label.

Maybe I'm wrong and I'm doing you a disservice. Maybe you're thinking of replying "who I am and what I think is none of your business"......which it isn't, any more than it's your business to say who is or isn't "relationship material" based on your own negative opinions about swinging. Maybe I REALLY misconstrued what you were saying there. If I did, oops. Soz!

Don't think I did tho. x"

You're entitled to nothing.

That's it really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you against the idea, or the word? If I said "has an equal ability and freedom to start a relationship with someone who reciprocate their feelings", would that sit better with you?

Because nobody says things like that.

If your issue is that nobody is "entitled" to anything in that we earn what we have, then I agree with you. But we aren't talking about that sort of entitlement. This is more about free will and some people's desire to be more closely involved with each other.

I'm confused how this is even an argument........everyone has the right to look for someone special. They don't all find it but nobody can tell anyone that they "aren't relationship material", because all that means is "you don't meet my personal standard of someone I would want a relationship with" and.......well, maybe this has blown all out of proportion, maybe you're just a cynic and a lil' bit mean, I don't know.

I know the wine is getting low though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you against the idea, or the word? If I said "has an equal ability and freedom to start a relationship with someone who reciprocate their feelings", would that sit better with you?

Because nobody says things like that.

If your issue is that nobody is "entitled" to anything in that we earn what we have, then I agree with you. But we aren't talking about that sort of entitlement. This is more about free will and some people's desire to be more closely involved with each other.

I'm confused how this is even an argument........everyone has the right to look for someone special. They don't all find it but nobody can tell anyone that they "aren't relationship material", because all that means is "you don't meet my personal standard of someone I would want a relationship with" and.......well, maybe this has blown all out of proportion, maybe you're just a cynic and a lil' bit mean, I don't know.

I know the wine is getting low though. "

OP is entitled. We can dress it up all we like, but thats what it is. As said, fab forums have an obsession with avoiding the truth.

Rights, entitlements, expectations and the like mean little really. Swinging is a lifestyle choice which sits diametrically opposed to most of societies idea of monogamous relationships. Your arguments dont go anywhere and seem mostly illogical. Fact of the matter is, OP desires a committed relationship and her male partner does not. I want to let people know that most men dont desire serious intimate relationships with women they meet on swinging sites. Men are hypocritical and often desire both a freaky mistress who will just be freaky for them. Naturally, a man will be distrusting of a woman he met in a highly charged sexualized atmosphere. Thats simply the way it is, reality wont bend to suit your sensibilities.

Could I be wrong? Maybe. But then who honestly thinks I am wrong? Seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

I met my fiance on here we have been together and loving together 3 years. I moved in first week I met him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess my point is it can happen, it does happen, and just because the OP did not match one person's standard does not mean she cannot or will not match another.

Just because you (apparently) agree that she is not 'r/m', someone will think she is. Maybe you're right and most men on here aren't interested in that.......some men aren't,sure. I reckon some are though.

After all, both the OP's friend, and you, can only represent yourselves. You are.....how does it go?......"#notallmen".

One's lifestyle does not impose limits or sanctions on one's right to be in a consensual relationship with another.

Someone who puts themselves above another person, so as to say "you do not meet my expectations of what you should be", ia nothing bit a.......well, I won't be rude, I'll just say I wouldn't want a relationship with someone like that. And now I'm going,it's late and I'm tired. And a bit tipsy, maybe.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


" I've never seen a successful long term relationship on fab,|"

Well we met swinging, been together 14 years and married for eight so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like in the Non FAB world people are after different things.

NOT ALL MEN ARE HYPOCRITICAL FFS. Yes I was shouting, but wouldn't you if you were being likened to someone/something your not.

I was in a relationship with a lovely women in met in a club, we just clicked. We were so into each other when we met the other 2 ladies in the 4 sum walked off & we didn't notice!!

I also met a lovley girl from another website who admitted to being on here.

Normally I have severe insecurity issues but these 2 relationships it was not a problem. OK they might not have worked out but the reasons were nothing at all to do with FAB/Swinging/trust

I wouldn't judge anyone for being on here and it certainly wouldn't affect my opinions on if I thought they were relationship material or not.

And a big congratulations to all you guys in relationships that have worked out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Do you care what he thinks? He sounds like a cunt. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone so narrow minded anyway?

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By *rbane PlayerMan
over a year ago

London


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Not he isn't. The fact that some are lucky to be married and still swing together even for years. If you are lucky with your partner, swinging can open a whole new level to your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to agree with most of supergrass's thinking. There is a lot molly coddling here that's it's OK to be liberated, promiscuous and totally independent but it does increase the odds of ending up old and lonely.

We are entitled to nothing but hopeful about everything.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of past tense 'I was in a relationship from here' comments in this thread.

Some girls here I would definitely consider relationship material but they are outnumbered by those I wouldn't. Maybe it's the difference between dabbling and experimentation and taking it as a full on lifestyle choice.

Maybe girls who are hardened swingers tend to have hardened souls (you see it in the profiles with a list of demands and like it or fuck off rules) and maybe are too ready to move to the next guy because they have options at the first sign of relationship trouble.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"Are you against the idea, or the word? If I said "has an equal ability and freedom to start a relationship with someone who reciprocate their feelings", would that sit better with you?

Because nobody says things like that.

If your issue is that nobody is "entitled" to anything in that we earn what we have, then I agree with you. But we aren't talking about that sort of entitlement. This is more about free will and some people's desire to be more closely involved with each other.

I'm confused how this is even an argument........everyone has the right to look for someone special. They don't all find it but nobody can tell anyone that they "aren't relationship material", because all that means is "you don't meet my personal standard of someone I would want a relationship with" and.......well, maybe this has blown all out of proportion, maybe you're just a cynic and a lil' bit mean, I don't know.

I know the wine is getting low though.

OP is entitled. We can dress it up all we like, but thats what it is. As said, fab forums have an obsession with avoiding the truth.

Rights, entitlements, expectations and the like mean little really. Swinging is a lifestyle choice which sits diametrically opposed to most of societies idea of monogamous relationships. Your arguments dont go anywhere and seem mostly illogical. Fact of the matter is, OP desires a committed relationship and her male partner does not. I want to let people know that most men dont desire serious intimate relationships with women they meet on swinging sites. Men are hypocritical and often desire both a freaky mistress who will just be freaky for them. Naturally, a man will be distrusting of a woman he met in a highly charged sexualized atmosphere. Thats simply the way it is, reality wont bend to suit your sensibilities.

Could I be wrong? Maybe. But then who honestly thinks I am wrong? Seriously."

I think you are wrong because you make assumptions about women that are certainly not true ... I think equal proportions of men and women seek committed relationships, its not all women do and all men don't. When I was on the site meeting single men as a single women, I did not want any commitment or monogamy and the two fb relationships I had stemmed from the men ... they were both open and we could both see other people, but only I was doing so. Then there were the many men who wanted and pushed for a committed relationship, wasn't my thing, nor did I want or need it. I was attracted to my now partner's profile because it seemed as if he was on the same page as me on a number of things, similarly, as we spoke before we met, this was endorsed. When we met it was a totally mutual thing ... we met on here and our first two meets were exactly like dates. He will openly tell you he thought of them as dates whereas I was in the meet mind set. We are together and our relationship is solid, so we are both relationship material.. don't ever doubt you are, OP, or let anyone, particularly a man or even another woman suggest that women here are not as worthy of a relationship as anyone else on the planet. Some people are very good at putting others in little boxes, for their convenience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, if you're on a site like this, there's a good chance you can separate physical desires and satisfaction from emotional attachment. So you're on a site with many others who feel/think the same.

Just because we're sexually liberated, or promiscuous, or a little bit kinky, or just plain outright insatiable sex addicts.....none of that precludes us from finding someone who really gets us, who we can make a genuine loving connection with......someone who won't ask us to change or stop what we do, but will totally love that part of us......maybe even encourage it!

Being here doesn't mean you're not relationship material. It just means you enjoy your body, and pbysical/sexual pleasure, beyond what "conventional" people understand or accept.

I think it says more about the person who said it to you. It says that HE is not relationship material, and that he has come to this site because he's no getting any (or enough, if we're being kind) sex in his day-to-day life.

I feel quite sad for him, if that's the case, because we're not about that, and he's missing out on sooooo much!

We're here because we enjoy it, it's part of our daily lives and who we are. And if you're looking for, or open to the possibility of, relationships, what better place to find that than amongst like-minded people?

Sorry I went on a bit. Just my thoughts. "

Definitely this!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to agree with most of supergrass's thinking. There is a lot molly coddling here that's it's OK to be liberated, promiscuous and totally independent but it does increase the odds of ending up old and lonely.

We are entitled to nothing but hopeful about everything.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of past tense 'I was in a relationship from here' comments in this thread.

Some girls here I would definitely consider relationship material but they are outnumbered by those I wouldn't. Maybe it's the difference between dabbling and experimentation and taking it as a full on lifestyle choice.

Maybe girls who are hardened swingers tend to have hardened souls (you see it in the profiles with a list of demands and like it or fuck off rules) and maybe are too ready to move to the next guy because they have options at the first sign of relationship trouble. "

How about this instead then... I am in a relationship with someone from here. We have been together for a long time, and a have a gorgeous child together. So it really doesn't mean you are not relationship material OP. Nobody has the right to tell you that you are not. It's not about promiscuity for all on here. It can sometimes be about finding someone more like minded on a sexual level. Everybody has different expectations on here, both men and women. It's just wrong to generalise, and assume that all men are looking for only one thing, and vise versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you against the idea, or the word? If I said "has an equal ability and freedom to start a relationship with someone who reciprocate their feelings", would that sit better with you?

Because nobody says things like that.

If your issue is that nobody is "entitled" to anything in that we earn what we have, then I agree with you. But we aren't talking about that sort of entitlement. This is more about free will and some people's desire to be more closely involved with each other.

I'm confused how this is even an argument........everyone has the right to look for someone special. They don't all find it but nobody can tell anyone that they "aren't relationship material", because all that means is "you don't meet my personal standard of someone I would want a relationship with" and.......well, maybe this has blown all out of proportion, maybe you're just a cynic and a lil' bit mean, I don't know.

I know the wine is getting low though.

OP is entitled. We can dress it up all we like, but thats what it is. As said, fab forums have an obsession with avoiding the truth.

Rights, entitlements, expectations and the like mean little really. Swinging is a lifestyle choice which sits diametrically opposed to most of societies idea of monogamous relationships. Your arguments dont go anywhere and seem mostly illogical. Fact of the matter is, OP desires a committed relationship and her male partner does not. I want to let people know that most men dont desire serious intimate relationships with women they meet on swinging sites. Men are hypocritical and often desire both a freaky mistress who will just be freaky for them. Naturally, a man will be distrusting of a woman he met in a highly charged sexualized atmosphere. Thats simply the way it is, reality wont bend to suit your sensibilities.

Could I be wrong? Maybe. But then who honestly thinks I am wrong? Seriously."

I am going to disagree with you....in fact, with all your posts on this thread. I have personal evidence otherwise, especially given that I have been in the Swinging life-style for far longer than Fab has been around. I have met so many happy couples who met Swinging, it cannot just be a fluke. I think you need to take a step back and view Swinging like any other hobby or life -style choice. It's full of people who you want to mix and socialise and yes, get together with (and like all walks of life, those you don't). I enjoy naturism, I did that way before Swinging, and met loads of great people doing that. Naturism is not mainstream, most people shy away from it, so you meet people with a similar mind -set and you form relationships within that group. Being a Swinger does not mean you cannot form a relationship with anyone, no more than being a naturist does. I am into some forms of BDSM too, but that also doesn't mean that I can't form a relationship with anyone, it might restrict my choice, if I want someone who is into exactly what I am too, but if you are prepared to be flexible and accommodate other people's preferences and out-looks and be broad -minded and tolerant too, then you can find your perfect mate.

Relationships are what you make them, there is no fixed template.

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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago

north kensington w10


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

No not at all, the opposite maybe true! I have never been in a relationship in my life, dose that mean I'm not relationship material? X.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you against the idea, or the word? If I said "has an equal ability and freedom to start a relationship with someone who reciprocate their feelings", would that sit better with you?

Because nobody says things like that.

If your issue is that nobody is "entitled" to anything in that we earn what we have, then I agree with you. But we aren't talking about that sort of entitlement. This is more about free will and some people's desire to be more closely involved with each other.

I'm confused how this is even an argument........everyone has the right to look for someone special. They don't all find it but nobody can tell anyone that they "aren't relationship material", because all that means is "you don't meet my personal standard of someone I would want a relationship with" and.......well, maybe this has blown all out of proportion, maybe you're just a cynic and a lil' bit mean, I don't know.

I know the wine is getting low though.

OP is entitled. We can dress it up all we like, but thats what it is. As said, fab forums have an obsession with avoiding the truth.

Rights, entitlements, expectations and the like mean little really. Swinging is a lifestyle choice which sits diametrically opposed to most of societies idea of monogamous relationships. Your arguments dont go anywhere and seem mostly illogical. Fact of the matter is, OP desires a committed relationship and her male partner does not. I want to let people know that most men dont desire serious intimate relationships with women they meet on swinging sites. Men are hypocritical and often desire both a freaky mistress who will just be freaky for them. Naturally, a man will be distrusting of a woman he met in a highly charged sexualized atmosphere. Thats simply the way it is, reality wont bend to suit your sensibilities.

Could I be wrong? Maybe. But then who honestly thinks I am wrong? Seriously.

I am going to disagree with you....in fact, with all your posts on this thread. I have personal evidence otherwise, especially given that I have been in the Swinging life-style for far longer than Fab has been around. I have met so many happy couples who met Swinging, it cannot just be a fluke. I think you need to take a step back and view Swinging like any other hobby or life -style choice. It's full of people who you want to mix and socialise and yes, get together with (and like all walks of life, those you don't). I enjoy naturism, I did that way before Swinging, and met loads of great people doing that. Naturism is not mainstream, most people shy away from it, so you meet people with a similar mind -set and you form relationships within that group. Being a Swinger does not mean you cannot form a relationship with anyone, no more than being a naturist does. I am into some forms of BDSM too, but that also doesn't mean that I can't form a relationship with anyone, it might restrict my choice, if I want someone who is into exactly what I am too, but if you are prepared to be flexible and accommodate other people's preferences and out-looks and be broad -minded and tolerant too, then you can find your perfect mate.

Relationships are what you make them, there is no fixed template. "

Except there kind of is a fixed template. And we all know what it is. This is what I find amusing about the delusion...swinging is a "hobby"?? Swinging is a pretty significatn lifestyle chouce and you're lying to yourself if you think any man would be happy getting into a relationship with a woman who did not disclose the fact that she was a swinger to him.

THIS is the problem I have. People who think everyone in society should treat their own proclivities with the same frivolity that they do. In the vanilla world, people's sexual interests have a profound effect on the people they choose to have relationship. The post-modernist crowd want to sell the lie that our lifestyle choices should be accepted by all and sundry and that anyone who doesnt exist them is just horrible and bigoted.

The world doesnt cater to ones sensibilities. Its not about whether or not BDSM/naturism/swinging actually makes you a good or bad partner, its that those lifestyle choices will have a profound effect on the way people view you and thus, your ability to form a fully fledged relationship.

What is most telling about this is that many of u will claim that I am wrong and then march into the world and lie and claim that u dont partake in swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to agree with most of supergrass's thinking. There is a lot molly coddling here that's it's OK to be liberated, promiscuous and totally independent but it does increase the odds of ending up old and lonely.

We are entitled to nothing but hopeful about everything.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of past tense 'I was in a relationship from here' comments in this thread.

Some girls here I would definitely consider relationship material but they are outnumbered by those I wouldn't. Maybe it's the difference between dabbling and experimentation and taking it as a full on lifestyle choice.

Maybe girls who are hardened swingers tend to have hardened souls (you see it in the profiles with a list of demands and like it or fuck off rules) and maybe are too ready to move to the next guy because they have options at the first sign of relationship trouble.

How about this instead then... I am in a relationship with someone from here. We have been together for a long time, and a have a gorgeous child together. So it really doesn't mean you are not relationship material OP. Nobody has the right to tell you that you are not. It's not about promiscuity for all on here. It can sometimes be about finding someone more like minded on a sexual level. Everybody has different expectations on here, both men and women. It's just wrong to generalise, and assume that all men are looking for only one thing, and vise versa. "

Are we really going to sit and convince yourselves that alot of men are not looking for kinky NSA sexual experiences on here? If not, why not just use Tinder/POF/OKC or the myriad other dating apps out there.

I think a lot of people here have overvalued the interest they receive and start making narrative leaps like the OP.

"If he's into me sexually then he MUST also be interested in me emotionally....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive a fb on here dosent bother me at all them meeting others

But ive seen not on fab but a man hearing of his gf flirting with other men end up fucking the guys head up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to agree with most of supergrass's thinking. There is a lot molly coddling here that's it's OK to be liberated, promiscuous and totally independent but it does increase the odds of ending up old and lonely.

We are entitled to nothing but hopeful about everything.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of past tense 'I was in a relationship from here' comments in this thread.

Some girls here I would definitely consider relationship material but they are outnumbered by those I wouldn't. Maybe it's the difference between dabbling and experimentation and taking it as a full on lifestyle choice.

Maybe girls who are hardened swingers tend to have hardened souls (you see it in the profiles with a list of demands and like it or fuck off rules) and maybe are too ready to move to the next guy because they have options at the first sign of relationship trouble.

How about this instead then... I am in a relationship with someone from here. We have been together for a long time, and a have a gorgeous child together. So it really doesn't mean you are not relationship material OP. Nobody has the right to tell you that you are not. It's not about promiscuity for all on here. It can sometimes be about finding someone more like minded on a sexual level. Everybody has different expectations on here, both men and women. It's just wrong to generalise, and assume that all men are looking for only one thing, and vise versa.

Are we really going to sit and convince yourselves that alot of men are not looking for kinky NSA sexual experiences on here? If not, why not just use Tinder/POF/OKC or the myriad other dating apps out there.

I think a lot of people here have overvalued the interest they receive and start making narrative leaps like the OP.

"If he's into me sexually then he MUST also be interested in me emotionally....." "

You've completely missed the point... Again. You seem to be very good at twisting people's words, to suit your own agenda. I specifically stated that it's not right to generalise. I know you enjoy doing that, but there are some on here for sex with no commitment at all, some on here to make friends with like minded people, and some open to there being something more meaningful if the situation arose. You are in the wrong if you think differently. And spouting off long sentences about how everybody who thinks that is wrong, will not change my mind at all. So why bother wasting your time typing a reply to my comment? I will pay no heed...I've never agreed with your ramblings on other threads, so I ignore them. But I replied to this one, as it was a direct comment at mine. I will not reply to you again. Happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to agree with most of supergrass's thinking. There is a lot molly coddling here that's it's OK to be liberated, promiscuous and totally independent but it does increase the odds of ending up old and lonely.

We are entitled to nothing but hopeful about everything.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of past tense 'I was in a relationship from here' comments in this thread.

Some girls here I would definitely consider relationship material but they are outnumbered by those I wouldn't. Maybe it's the difference between dabbling and experimentation and taking it as a full on lifestyle choice.

Maybe girls who are hardened swingers tend to have hardened souls (you see it in the profiles with a list of demands and like it or fuck off rules) and maybe are too ready to move to the next guy because they have options at the first sign of relationship trouble.

How about this instead then... I am in a relationship with someone from here. We have been together for a long time, and a have a gorgeous child together. So it really doesn't mean you are not relationship material OP. Nobody has the right to tell you that you are not. It's not about promiscuity for all on here. It can sometimes be about finding someone more like minded on a sexual level. Everybody has different expectations on here, both men and women. It's just wrong to generalise, and assume that all men are looking for only one thing, and vise versa.

Are we really going to sit and convince yourselves that alot of men are not looking for kinky NSA sexual experiences on here? If not, why not just use Tinder/POF/OKC or the myriad other dating apps out there.

I think a lot of people here have overvalued the interest they receive and start making narrative leaps like the OP.

"If he's into me sexually then he MUST also be interested in me emotionally....."

You've completely missed the point... Again. You seem to be very good at twisting people's words, to suit your own agenda. I specifically stated that it's not right to generalise. I know you enjoy doing that, but there are some on here for sex with no commitment at all, some on here to make friends with like minded people, and some open to there being something more meaningful if the situation arose. You are in the wrong if you think differently. And spouting off long sentences about how everybody who thinks that is wrong, will not change my mind at all. So why bother wasting your time typing a reply to my comment? I will pay no heed...I've never agreed with your ramblings on other threads, so I ignore them. But I replied to this one, as it was a direct comment at mine. I will not reply to you again. Happy swinging

"

"I'm on a swinging site to make friends"

LOL, okay. You seem to have a thing for living in fake realities. Childish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to agree with most of supergrass's thinking. There is a lot molly coddling here that's it's OK to be liberated, promiscuous and totally independent but it does increase the odds of ending up old and lonely.

We are entitled to nothing but hopeful about everything.

I'm noticing that there are a lot of past tense 'I was in a relationship from here' comments in this thread.

Some girls here I would definitely consider relationship material but they are outnumbered by those I wouldn't. Maybe it's the difference between dabbling and experimentation and taking it as a full on lifestyle choice.

Maybe girls who are hardened swingers tend to have hardened souls (you see it in the profiles with a list of demands and like it or fuck off rules) and maybe are too ready to move to the next guy because they have options at the first sign of relationship trouble.

How about this instead then... I am in a relationship with someone from here. We have been together for a long time, and a have a gorgeous child together. So it really doesn't mean you are not relationship material OP. Nobody has the right to tell you that you are not. It's not about promiscuity for all on here. It can sometimes be about finding someone more like minded on a sexual level. Everybody has different expectations on here, both men and women. It's just wrong to generalise, and assume that all men are looking for only one thing, and vise versa.

Are we really going to sit and convince yourselves that alot of men are not looking for kinky NSA sexual experiences on here? If not, why not just use Tinder/POF/OKC or the myriad other dating apps out there.

I think a lot of people here have overvalued the interest they receive and start making narrative leaps like the OP.

"If he's into me sexually then he MUST also be interested in me emotionally....."

You've completely missed the point... Again. You seem to be very good at twisting people's words, to suit your own agenda. I specifically stated that it's not right to generalise. I know you enjoy doing that, but there are some on here for sex with no commitment at all, some on here to make friends with like minded people, and some open to there being something more meaningful if the situation arose. You are in the wrong if you think differently. And spouting off long sentences about how everybody who thinks that is wrong, will not change my mind at all. So why bother wasting your time typing a reply to my comment? I will pay no heed...I've never agreed with your ramblings on other threads, so I ignore them. But I replied to this one, as it was a direct comment at mine. I will not reply to you again. Happy swinging

"I'm on a swinging site to make friends"

LOL, okay. You seem to have a thing for living in fake realities. Childish."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whether on FAB or elsewhere relationships often start when you are not looking, with someone unexpected and in the most surprising places. Built on trust these can develop, but like the multitude of sexual predilictions on here tryng to stereotype or fully define a relationship would alienate many on here. If it works for you as a couple (or more) at a level of commitment that suits all. Most of us here are not at a place in our lives where we are on here looking for a gf/bf, meet mum, fiancee, marriage in church husband/wife etc but if it develops then that may be a bonus.

For my 2 penneth a FB, FWB, swinging partner and gf are all relationships, but at possibly different levels satisfying different needs. The ideal is to be honest with yourself and ask what you want and if the one you are with can fit all of your needs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??"

Bottom line is, that whatever interaction we have with anyone, anywhere, it is a relationship of some kind or other. Whether you find someone to chat to regularly in Tesco's at the checkout, or a regular play meet at a Swingers Club, it is a relationship. If the guy was saying that you are not relationship material because he wouldn't want you to meet his mum, then that says more about him than you. We need to stop pigeon -holing, trying to define what is or isn't happening and letting live and let live. Life is too short to spend worrying about how other people view you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It has recently been said to me that being on here and living a swingers life style makes me non relationship material I might add by a guy who's also on here lol would you say his right ??

Bottom line is, that whatever interaction we have with anyone, anywhere, it is a relationship of some kind or other. Whether you find someone to chat to regularly in Tesco's at the checkout, or a regular play meet at a Swingers Club, it is a relationship. If the guy was saying that you are not relationship material because he wouldn't want you to meet his mum, then that says more about him than you. We need to stop pigeon -holing, trying to define what is or isn't happening and letting live and let live. Life is too short to spend worrying about how other people view you."

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Somebody being on here to me actually makes them more likely to be relationship material, as they are more likely to understand my needs, pleasures and sexual motivations.

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Draw a line .....and crack on...plenty more who will.....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We e played with enough guys to know that the general consensus amongst them would be that a single female swinger wouldn't be their idea of an ideal relationship .

Hypocritical - yes .

The lifestyle isn't for everyone and it takes a special bond to swing together as a couple . But there are some couples who met in the lifestyle and form a strong relationship . This seems to be th exception rather than the rule though .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You are in the wrong if you think differently.

"

I know I'm quoting out of context but this sums up the group think attitude very well... Not just on this subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

You are in the wrong if you think differently.

I know I'm quoting out of context but this sums up the group think attitude very well... Not just on this subject"

Which is sad, as I like a good, well-reasoned debate.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Or some think that the grass is greener going straight into a "normal non swinging relationship" then still going to the club as a single bloke....I can count on one hand the amount of blokes I've slept with in 6 years...

Sometimes the grass isn't greener but OP don't take it to heart you were just not his meant to be

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