FabSwingers.com forum: Open minded or weird

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Male half of the couple posting

I adore my girl more than anything I have no worries about satisfying her sexually.

I don't get off on being humiliated or degraded.

I do however love seeing or hearing of her being pleasured by other guys.

Only a few close friends know my fantasys and few understand.

Some think I can't love her properly. But thats just completely untrue.

I feel absolutely no jealousy even though we have only had a few threesomes and she has had one intimate encounter alone.

I don't think she completely understands why it turns me on so much. She wasn't keen when I first mentioned what I liked. I think she feared that reality of seeing her with someone would be different to the fantasy and I would get jealous, and that it might cause friction in the relationship. At first she was happy with a monogamous relationship.

I've never forced the issue and after our experiences its clear its not affected our relationship in any way. And to my pleasure she has fully enjoyed our extra encounters and is open to more in the future.

Should I be jealous? normal society would think I was weird. Our am I just more open minded?

Plus I do sometimes wish although she accepts and enjoys our activities that she would also understand my turn ons.

Opinions please people

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My opinion is that it sounds like swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have a relationship that's pretty bloody wonderful

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems you are very similar to Lincs he like you has no problem stareing puk with other guys and loves nothing more than joining in lol ,good on you stick to what you are happy and comfortable with

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah but swinging is a broad term for many thing. I have no interest in sleeping with other woman. And she would have jealousy issue which I am absolutely fine with.

My pleasure really I from her being pleasure. Regardless of if thats me or someone else

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

That's exactly why many of us are on here.

We both find seeing and hearing each other with someone else a huge turn in.

Embrace it and have fun

So that means that you are either totally normal, or there are an awful lot of weird people...

Nita

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

From what I've seen in here during my time on here it sounds normal to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all...i'm exactly the same too with my gf. I'm not sure who gets more excited if she's having a meet, her or me

i love seeing her get ready and make herself feel sexy and ready to go off for a meet..i like the time i'm at home waiting for her and her texts go quiet after she arrives there knowing she's sharing herself with another..

I couldn't tell you what it is or why or give you some black and white reason as to why I like it..i just do.

The best excitement ever..like a ten year old me at Christmas is when she texts to say she's coming home..that time between the text and her arriving is golden! Love it..and the sex afterwards if she still has the appetite (she normally does) is often off the scale for me..

It's all good to feel that way

Anyhow..having met you both briefly i have to say..your so into each other. Enjoy what you both enjoy.

Some may not like it, but that's true of anything you do in life so just go ahead and be happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hubs is the same and so am I. However I had never really thought about it till we started doing it. The difference is swinging is jut sex, emotionless sex and has no meaning however sex in relationships is different as there is a mental connection to that person. If op thought for one minute his partner had feelings for a person she ws having sex with, I presume he would not feel like that. Only saying that because that is how I would feel x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just keep talking together and in this neck of the woods no your not weird, but in the outside world you may be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My hubs is the same and so am I. However I had never really thought about it till we started doing it. The difference is swinging is jut sex, emotionless sex and has no meaning however sex in relationships is different as there is a mental connection to that person. If op thought for one minute his partner had feelings for a person she ws having sex with, I presume he would not feel like that. Only saying that because that is how I would feel x"

True true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep,my long-term partner totally fine with my lifestyle

No jealousy whatsoever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr is the same but i still struggle and prefer to play together as do not want him feeling left out.

He assures me I could meet and do whatever I liked and he would enjoy it

So op i wouldnt say your weird as many men seem to share the same outlook..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you have a relationship that's pretty bloody wonderful

What m'lady T said.

Kudos.

Enjoy each other and the passions you share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr loves watching me play with others and joining in or me playing alone and filming it for him (also call him part way through) . My understanding is that he loves my body and finds me very attractive and loves it when other men feel the same and enjoys seeing them 'enjoy it' especially knowing that they will only get it once and he gets to have me whenever he wants . The sex after a meet is amazing as he feels like he's claiming me back as his own.

I get turned on playing with others of course but never as much as with him

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It sounds pretty awesome to me OP, you're both very lucky to have each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Male half of the couple posting

I adore my girl more than anything I have no worries about satisfying her sexually.

I don't get off on being humiliated or degraded.

I do however love seeing or hearing of her being pleasured by other guys.

Only a few close friends know my fantasys and few understand.

Some think I can't love her properly. But thats just completely untrue.

I feel absolutely no jealousy even though we have only had a few threesomes and she has had one intimate encounter alone.

Should I be jealous? normal society would think I was weird. Our am I just more open minded?

Plus I do sometimes wish although she accepts and enjoys our activities that she would also understand my turn ons.

Opinions please people

IMHO you're the perfect partner

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

We have our own video collection from P playing solo (and loads of pics

) but she hasn't done so for a while as we prefer bi mmfs these days. We now have plenty of those pics and vids too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty much the same as us op .

Although I do occasionally join in , the vast majority of our meets are my wife enjoying herself with my blessing . No , more than my blessing , my absolute encouragement . I truly love seeing the love of my life with others sexually .

She absolutely loves seeing the pleasure I get from it , and loves it herself too . So we both feel it enhances our sex life together , which is amazing anyway !

So no , you're not weird , you're lucky to be able to enjoy what you have together , and long may it continue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're asking swingers if they think swinging is ok?

Yep; it's ideal. You have a terrific relationship, clearly. Sod what others think xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah but swinging is a broad term for many thing. I have no interest in sleeping with other woman. And she would have jealousy issue which I am absolutely fine with.

My pleasure really I from her being pleasure. Regardless of if thats me or someone else

It's quite common for the male half to enjoy watching his fem half play with other guys. I myself love watching min play. If you both enjoy what your doing why would it be wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mr is the same but i still struggle and prefer to play together as do not want him feeling left out.

He assures me I could meet and do whatever I liked and he would enjoy it

So op i wouldnt say your weird as many men seem to share the same outlook.. "

I would love for my Mrs to go and play on her own but she says the same.

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By *ussetdevilCouple
over a year ago

Swindon

Sounds a perfect relationship to us, we are the same....

Mrs can go and meet others while I wait for her to come back and tell me all... Works for us so definitely not weird just open minded and fun.... Hope to set up a few more meets as soon as she feels better,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Open-minded simply refers to a lack of prejudice, weird is entirely subjective.

So neither in my book. And so long as both of you are happy and everything is consensual, why do you even care what others think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have tried to explain this to Mrs but she can't separate love and sex.

She doesn't understand how I could want her to be with anyone else.

That makes me feel weird but I like what I like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One person weird is someone's normal. If it feels good and everyone agrees to it then don't worry about it just enjoy it

Life is way to short not to live it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you have a relationship that's pretty bloody wonderful

"
this is what I was going to say if the dynamics are there enjoy and rejoice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP,

so I too am very much in love with miss.

But......I do enjoy/get a thrill from seeing her with other (younger) guys.

I often wondered why, then I started to research it as I often thought, as it transpired so did she, that maybe I don't love her like I think I do.

Well, it turns out it has NOTHING to do with love and EVERYTHING to do with hormones, testosterone and our natural inclination of competitive sexual reproduction.

Briefly (as I've read a LOT about it):

We are not designed to be a monogamous species (despite what the socially accepted literature tells us).

We are more attached to our primitive urges of mating with as many potential offspring rearing/fathering mates as possible than we WANT to believe because society tells us we SHOULD marry, have one "mate" etc so we are cognitive conditioned to accept this.

Nature vs nurture, but nature always wins. Proof (and its a small example from many given in the material i have read) is that even the most "in love" monogamous couple will enjoy an attractive stranger flirting with one of them if their "mate" isn't around.

It's why we find people "sexy" who aren't our partner etc.

Another factor is that if we see the person we think of as a good potential bearer of our offspring (the scientific but non romantic reasoning for being with someone) having sex with somebody else it creates "competition hormones" (like two deer rutting etc) that increase our sex drive in order to increase our chances of reproduction and carrying on our genetics.

Seeing your partner being flirted with/having sex etc with others also has an "affirmation affect" meaning it re affirms she is desirable and a "good choice", ergo a good "mate" to carry on our genetic heritage.

There is LOADS of stuff online about this if you have a good look.

It will stop you worrying as often understanding something relieves the tension we feel about it.

It certainly helped both of us and we feel much better about it now, we don't see it as "cheating" and both get pleasure from it in our own way.

We humans often make things WAY more complicated than they need to be.

When you read the stuff online or in books etc about this subject it does kind of sound "unromantic" as it basically takes romance out and puts the science into perspective in a way we often never think about.

Hope this helps.

Seeing miss enjoying other younger guys personally makes me very horns and we always have incredible sex afterwards. That "natural competitive testosterone" from me and her "I'm an in demand mate for lots of testosterone fuelled males" endorphins gives us a massive sexual high.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This has all been helpful thank you xxx

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By *ayandess1Couple
over a year ago

bridgwater

Polyamourous. - Have a read about it. I might anser a few questions. We are a fully poly couple and we love seeing eathother happy ith others. x

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Hi OP,

so I too am very much in love with miss.

But......I do enjoy/get a thrill from seeing her with other (younger) guys.

I often wondered why, then I started to research it as I often thought, as it transpired so did she, that maybe I don't love her like I think I do."

That's a good read

I've always felt that monogamy is more of a societal norm than a human one.

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By *ureTemptationWoman
over a year ago

Off the grid

My husband is the same OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Open-minded simply refers to a lack of prejudice, weird is entirely subjective.

So neither in my book. And so long as both of you are happy and everything is consensual, why do you even care what others think?"

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

You just described our exact situation and from my point of view also, gloswinger said it perfectly. The fact we can enjoy this without it affecting our relationship in any way negative is arguably about as open minded as it gets, speaks volumes of how strong your relationship is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing weird about that one little bit lol . Stop worrying about it and enjoy it . We've enjoyed it for for the past 20 years and the question of weather or not we love each other doesn't even come into it . It takes a a couple with a strong relationship to be comfortable with what your into and the fact that you can openly share it is even better. Must be millions of guys with this fantasy who dare not tell their wife

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

No dont think its weird at all. It really turns me on seeing her with another guy. We know we love each other and this is just an extra to our love life. Similarly she gets really turned on seeing me with another woman. Our sex life is fantastic and we love each other and know we are going home together. Jack

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By *ustthe2ofusXXXCouple
over a year ago

coventry

Male half here,

Nothing weird at I love it I find it a massive turn on thinking,hearing or seeing her with a guy. We are still new to this and have only had 1 3sum and a few meets but I have starting inviting around the guy she fucked so they can have some time together while I'm at work. The suspense kills me when I can't see them and when she messages me to say he is there my heart starts racing away,I'm dying to know all day what they did or got up to but I make her wait until we are in bed fucking before she tells anything that happened in the day

It's a shame N couldn't handle seeing me play with another woman. Sometimes think that it may hold us back when trying new things,just love the thought of one day being the male that's gets invited around to play with someone else's parter but heyho you can't win them all.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Don't worry what society thinks.

I am another husband who loves watching his wife being pleasured. I love my wife, adore her...so why would I not want to see her in the throes of pleasure?

That's how I look at it.

With my wife, I've been in and out of the scene since 2003...plenty of people love seeing their partner with another person or people.

OP...I've chatted with you guys in the past, you're a lovely couple...try not to think too much about what society thinks and concentrate on what you both want to experience.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

I met four guys last Sunday...N was unable to watch but, met me afterwards and was super horny - no idea why but it works for us.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Male half of the couple posting

I adore my girl more than anything I have no worries about satisfying her sexually.

I don't get off on being humiliated or degraded.

I do however love seeing or hearing of her being pleasured by other guys.

Only a few close friends know my fantasys and few understand.

Some think I can't love her properly. But thats just completely untrue.

I feel absolutely no jealousy even though we have only had a few threesomes and she has had one intimate encounter alone.

Should I be jealous? normal society would think I was weird. Our am I just more open minded?

Plus I do sometimes wish although she accepts and enjoys our activities that she would also understand my turn ons.

Opinions please people

I don't think open minded is the correct phrase, one can be open minded without enjoying your particular turn on. Can anyone ever do more than accept another's turn on that one doesn't share isn't that what open mindedness is about? Understanding isn't necessary to be accepting and open minded.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 23/10/16 11:26:12]

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