FabSwingers.com forum: Bad Club etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So there I am at a club (im not going to say where for the purpose of this thread as its not relevant) getting down with a lady in a room along side another couple doing the same. All of a sudden a hand shoots across infront of my face and there he is grabbing my ladies breasts.

An asian guy thinks its perfectly acceptable to touch or in this case grab with asking.

I grabbed his arm to remove it and felt string resistance as be didnt want to be told NO which is exactly what happened and very firmly.

His next move was to turn straight over and grab the breast of the other lady in the room and was again met with the same response.

He then uttered some mumbled words while cutting me a filthy look.

I said to him that he needs to learn to ask permission before touching as he got ip in a huff and left.

Needless to say it was game over for me. Off the boil and fun stopped.

This is happening more and more and whilst I am in no way a racist this is becoming more and more prevelant in the Asian males that are now frequenting the club.

Disgusting behaviour which put a real dampener on my day.

Apparently talking to multiple others he was doing this with alot of couples even after I had spoken to him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust you highlighted this to the club staff?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I trust you highlighted this to the club staff? "

He got reported for it yes however he was still there when I left even though the staff member had spoken to several others about him aswell.

He asked why I was reporting yet noone else had but it was clear alot of people had issues with this guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw."

As I said I wasnt being racist its just that in this instance it was yet a other Asian showing no respect.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw."

The only couple of times I've had an issue in a club both times were a white male from a couple. I think it's dangerous to blame a group of anything based on the actions of one person. That guy was a jerk, his race is irrelevant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw.

As I said I wasnt being racist its just that in this instance it was yet a other Asian showing no respect."

"Yet another asian" isn't racist??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orders2forUCouple
over a year ago

Hawick

Part of the answer is surely to play in the couples only room? Is what we do when we went to Chams.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

"Part of the answer is surely to play in the couples only room? Is what we do when we went to Chams.

B2"

Valid point to some extent.. however when we go we love the jacuzzi and love playing in there. I dont see why we have to leave due to rude people. If we want sex in a room we can stay at home. Rude help yourself men ruin it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed."

Is this down to culture though?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen more caucasian guys do this kind of thing than non-caucasian guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No im not racist I will get on and talk to anyone regardless of race. But when they are being like that then yes I will point it out.

Lets forget the skin colour ghat everyone seems to be jumping and continue with the point about the etiquette then shall we?

Afterall thats the point im making.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though? "

Good question.. I would say its to do with attitude of some men....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Bad club etiquette isn't limited to men either.

On my only club visit so far i was groped by a woman as i was walking past. She just said "ooh big boobies" and copped a feel.

I was quite taken aback to be fair, i did expect some unwanted touching from men but not from women.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

It happens, by both men and women, of all races.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No im not racist I will get on and talk to anyone regardless of race. But when they are being like that then yes I will point it out.

Lets forget the skin colour ghat everyone seems to be jumping and continue with the point about the etiquette then shall we?

Afterall thats the point im making."

The point you appeared to be making was that you don't like the way asian men behave in clubs.

Perhaps you should refrain from mentioning ethnicity in the future? Posts like the one you made here are the way that racist stereotypes get perpetuated.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

"No im not racist I will get on and talk to anyone regardless of race. But when they are being like that then yes I will point it out.

Lets forget the skin colour ghat everyone seems to be jumping and continue with the point about the etiquette then shall we?

Afterall thats the point im making."

As mentioned above op.. i think you have realised by making sweeping statements its all hell let loose.. your quote would have been better perhaps not mentioning the race..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you have the same reaction if it was a womens hand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you have the same reaction if it was a womens hand

Consent is a two way street. Men should have the same respect given to them as women. Neither sex should be seen as a piece of meat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bad club etiquette isn't limited to men either.

On my only club visit so far i was groped by a woman as i was walking past. She just said "ooh big boobies" and copped a feel.

I was quite taken aback to be fair, i did expect some unwanted touching from men but not from women."

Women are the absolute worst for this. I have been groped by women more often than men, and they just think it's cute or funny.

I think all people in clubs need to think before they touch.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would you have the same reaction if it was a womens hand

Actually yes I was there exclusively for the lady I was with yesterday

And aside from that if she hadnt asked to touch then yes she would ha e had her hand removed too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw.

As I said I wasnt being racist its just that in this instance it was yet a other Asian showing no respect."

Not just Asians. And certainly not just men. I've had this happen a few times from ladies. Some think that just because they are female they don't have to ask. They get told, in no uncertain terms, that they do!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you have the same reaction if it was a womens hand

Consent is a two way street. Men should have the same respect given to them as women. Neither sex should be seen as a piece of meat"

Thanks. Can't see how that applies to me though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw.

As I said I wasnt being racist its just that in this instance it was yet a other Asian showing no respect."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw.

As I said I wasnt being racist its just that in this instance it was yet a other Asian showing no respect.

Ahhhh the old GVS strikes again! It's a popular disease

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always the woman that you don't fancy that grabs you without permission too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No im not racist I will get on and talk to anyone regardless of race. But when they are being like that then yes I will point it out.

Lets forget the skin colour ghat everyone seems to be jumping and continue with the point about the etiquette then shall we?

Afterall thats the point im making."

They were only "jumping" at you because of the way you phrased it. "Yet another Asian."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So there I am at a club (im not going to say where for the purpose of this thread as its not relevant) getting down with a lady in a room along side another couple doing the same. All of a sudden a hand shoots across infront of my face and there he is grabbing my ladies breasts.

An asian guy thinks its perfectly acceptable to touch or in this case grab with asking.

I grabbed his arm to remove it and felt string resistance as be didnt want to be told NO which is exactly what happened and very firmly.

His next move was to turn straight over and grab the breast of the other lady in the room and was again met with the same response.

He then uttered some mumbled words while cutting me a filthy look.

I said to him that he needs to learn to ask permission before touching as he got ip in a huff and left.

Needless to say it was game over for me. Off the boil and fun stopped.

This is happening more and more and whilst I am in no way a racist this is becoming more and more prevelant in the Asian males that are now frequenting the club.

Disgusting behaviour which put a real dampener on my day.

Apparently talking to multiple others he was doing this with alot of couples even after I had spoken to him."

Why does his race matter?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op just say you have a black dog, Asian friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycatWoman
over a year ago

High Wycombe

I had an incident with a white guy a few weeks ago who got arsey when I smacked his hand off me - he didn't deem uninvited touching of my "mound of Venus" as inappropriate... the problem is with some single men feeling they pay their money and can do what they like rather than the colour of their skin....

Just my opinion.

Cat

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had an incident with a white guy a few weeks ago who got arsey when I smacked his hand off me - he didn't deem uninvited touching of my "mound of Venus" as inappropriate... the problem is with some single men feeling they pay their money and can do what they like rather than the colour of their skin....

Just my opinion.

Cat "

Yet you still brought up white guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think that the club is relevant. Some seem to let just about anyone in and see the revenue as the priority and don't or won't tackle it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why does his race matter? "

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too."

The suggestion that only asian men misbehave in clubs is laughable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh for god sake im not saying its ONLY Asians im just saying that in MY experience ive not experienced it from others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too."

Then listen to other people's experiences and you might avoid being labelled racist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh for god sake im not saying its ONLY Asians im just saying that in MY experience ive not experienced it from others."

The race police are out in force today

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In future OP, just take two of their fingers (one in each of your hands) and very firmly pull them apart such that they rest 180 degrees to each other. Should solve your problem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

Ok. I was that lady yesterday. By the time I realised it wasn't my partners hand, he had dealt with the situation - had I got there first the guy would have been punched. The other lady came close to doing that as well. This particular guy was a real menace. He seemed to have the strange idea that if he offered to get you a cup of water you gave him carte blanche to grope you. There is no couples room where we were but if we had wanted him to play he would have been invited. Yes he was Asian but that is not the issue. I have played with asian guys. However, there has been of late a certain element of young Asian men who feel that they can just grope any female within reach I had a seikh (sic) chap come up and grope me whilst I was getting changed. I told him no touching without asking, he carried on and asked to touch at the same time. I removed his hand and told him to F off

Yes I've also had a couple of white guys grope without asking. Funnily enough never a black guy, they've always asked politely

Now I'll get on to the Irish chap from last night. Came in with a younger man 50 mins before the club closed. Inappropriately pulled open a woman's jacket as she was leaving because he saw she was wearing a fishnet body stocking with her nipples poking through She left hurriedly. Then he started on saying all he wanted was a quick blowjob as that was what he had come in for. I politely told him that he had come to a naturist spa and and that he shouldn't come with the attitude that he was going to get sex or play automatically. It was very clear from the state of his eyes that he'd either come from the pub or had been taking something

Maybe it is a cultural issue but it does need to be addressed before they consider attending clubs. However, this seems to be becoming an overall issue. Many people don't understand swingers clubs - they hear about them from friends etc and think the clubs are brothels, so many come in with the attitude that they've paid their money and they will get some form of sexual play regardless. They believe it's their right which makes me angry

I'm privileged to have been with Wurzle yesterday as he was all about protecting me as well as bringing me to incredibly heightened sexual pleasure many times ????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

"Would you have the same reaction if it was a womens hand

YES!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok. I was that lady yesterday. By the time I realised it wasn't my partners hand, he had dealt with the situation - had I got there first the guy would have been punched. The other lady came close to doing that as well. This particular guy was a real menace. He seemed to have the strange idea that if he offered to get you a cup of water you gave him carte blanche to grope you. There is no couples room where we were but if we had wanted him to play he would have been invited. Yes he was Asian but that is not the issue. I have played with asian guys. However, there has been of late a certain element of young Asian men who feel that they can just grope any female within reach I had a seikh (sic) chap come up and grope me whilst I was getting changed. I told him no touching without asking, he carried on and asked to touch at the same time. I removed his hand and told him to F off

Yes I've also had a couple of white guys grope without asking. Funnily enough never a black guy, they've always asked politely

I'm privileged to have been with Wurzle yesterday as he was all about protecting me as well as bringing me to incredibly heightened sexual pleasure many times ????"

I agree that there is often an attitude at clubs (from all sorts of people) that people can touch without asking. I don't like it and it can make me a tad defensive sometimes. I've also stopped going to some clubs because of it. I've also written harsh reviews in the clubs section for similar problems.

Based on your experience above, I would say that the name of the club is 100% relevant. Any club that would let a visibly d*unk/high man in is one that I don't ever want to go to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkycatWoman
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Just my opinion.

Cat

Yet you still brought up white guy

That was in answer to the OP...I was pointing out it's any single man who may behave like that, not just Asian ones.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/10/16 14:02:05]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I've also had a couple of white guys grope without asking. Funnily enough never a black guy, they've always asked politely

I'm privileged to have been with Wurzle yesterday as he was all about protecting me as well as bringing me to incredibly heightened sexual pleasure many times ????

Based on your experience above, I would say that the name of the club is 100% relevant. Any club that would let a visibly d*unk/high man in is one that I don't ever want to go to."

I think it's pretty obvious which club it is and you have been to it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did either of you address the behaviour with anyone from the club? And if not why not?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and I visited our first club last year, and it was made very plain early on that any single guys didn't have the right to touch or get involved with anyone unless given permission. The door staff made sure this was strictly adhered to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's pretty obvious which club it is and you have been to it

Yeah, I think you're right. And I have to say that it makes me sad. I thought they were better than that, honestly. A club can't address specific behaviour without being told about it, but they can and should certainly stop anyone under the influence to the point described above from entering their premises.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The race police are out in force today

Yep. The same people that will racially abuse them in a road rage incident or when sat in the pub with their friends and an emotive topic comes up. Still, nice that fab can provide an environment for them to redeem themselves and show how perfect they really are. FFS.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i get this from men, women and couples who cant understand the asking permission before you touch. the clubs don't seem to think its an issue, its not dealt with because if they cared, they would limit the alcohol they served. most occurrences happen after 1:30am.

mind you, one woman apparently came into the dungeon last week, while i was tied and walked up and almost grabbed me before my partner, got between us.

bearing in mind i was actually maliciously assaulted the previous visit, which we reported, to a vague and inconsequential reply..

it seems that because i'm blindfolded and vulnerable, it brings out the 'ill take advantage, because i can" in lots of people..because im sub, im sub to the world, mentality..

its very sad,but,for the first time, he shut the doors on the dungeon, which is a shame, but if he cant relax, its no fun for either of us x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The race police are out in force today

Trust me. I don't do any of that and you have nothing at all to suggest that others are the hypocrites you are suggesting they are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The race police are out in force today

You're incorrect. I've never racially abused someone in a road rage incident, and I wouldn't be racist when it was just me and my friends.

Not everyone is racist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i get this from men, women and couples who cant understand the asking permission before you touch. the clubs don't seem to think its an issue, its not dealt with because if they cared, they would limit the alcohol they served. most occurrences happen after 1:30am.

mind you, one woman apparently came into the dungeon last week, while i was tied and walked up and almost grabbed me before my partner, got between us.

bearing in mind i was actually maliciously assaulted the previous visit, which we reported, to a vague and inconsequential reply..

it seems that because i'm blindfolded and vulnerable, it brings out the 'ill take advantage, because i can" in lots of people..because im sub, im sub to the world, mentality..

its very sad,but,for the first time, he shut the doors on the dungeon, which is a shame, but if he cant relax, its no fun for either of us x "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was touched without being asked at a club by a man who worked at the club.

He was there as a guest that day and I was getting changed and he groped my boob.

I was a bit surprised that someone who worked at the club didn't seem to understand the etiquette about not touching without asking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You're incorrect. I've never racially abused someone in a road rage incident, and I wouldn't be racist when it was just me and my friends.

Not everyone is racist."

'I am in correct', this isn't a bloody game show. Where did I write everyone is a racist? Or would that just be you attempting to further hijack the thread and throw it off kilter.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You're incorrect. I've never racially abused someone in a road rage incident, and I wouldn't be racist when it was just me and my friends.

Not everyone is racist.

'I am in correct', this isn't a bloody game show. Where did I write everyone is a racist? Or would that just be you attempting to further hijack the thread and throw it off kilter."

You suggested that those who object to people being racist on Fabs are actually racist themselves in day to day life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BW SnowbunnyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the Rainbow

Marc Courtney. Can you message me please, I can't message you xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

mind you, one woman apparently came into the dungeon last week, while i was tied and walked up and almost grabbed me before my partner, got between us.

bearing in mind i was actually maliciously assaulted the previous visit, which we reported, to a vague and inconsequential reply..

it seems that because i'm blindfolded and vulnerable, it brings out the 'ill take advantage, because i can" in lots of people..because im sub, im sub to the world, mentality..

its very sad,but,for the first time, he shut the doors on the dungeon, which is a shame, but if he cant relax, its no fun for either of us x

I had a very bad experience in the dungeon of a club once while I was tied up. It was horrible and I won't ever put myself in that position in a club ever again. And the club was next to uselss when we told them what happened. I wrote a scathing review of them and won't ever return. I think some clubs really don't care, and that's why I like knowing which clubs we are discussing in these situations. "
we still go, we tighten our protocol and play accordingly, its a pain, but we like blurring the edges of fet and swing too much to give it up..i process, he processes and we remember the great stuff before the 'incident' and move on...if anything it makes us stronger as a D/s dynamic.. we have some seriously great conversations about what we do and our dynamic and even those who because of us, start to dip their toes in and explore...ive3w loved the experiences, we've been able to help others with...it gives me a buzz.a few arseholes, arent going to stop us doing that..for us, or, with others..

i am sorry you have had this experience,i wish it hadnt happened, but more than that, i wish it didnt stop you doing the things you want to do xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The opening message stated that the perpetrator was Asian. The OP stated that it had happened previously with other Asian guys. In his mind, all the cases have a common denominator. Other people have said this isn't so. Doesn't make the OP racist, just reflects his experience.

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You're incorrect. I've never racially abused someone in a road rage incident, and I wouldn't be racist when it was just me and my friends.

Not everyone is racist.

'I am in correct', this isn't a bloody game show. Where did I write everyone is a racist? Or would that just be you attempting to further hijack the thread and throw it off kilter.

You suggested that those who object to people being racist on Fabs are actually racist themselves in day to day life."

So now I haven't said 'everyone is racist', I've now 'suggested' it. How many more goes would you like at this? I used to say that only boring people get bored, but think I'll make an exception with you. Off to take my boring ass to the kitchen to make a nice cup of tea and have a scout around for a nice Foxs biscuit to go with it. Why don't you do the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The opening message stated that the perpetrator was Asian. The OP stated that it had happened previously with other Asian guys. In his mind, all the cases have a common denominator. Other people have said this isn't so. Doesn't make the OP racist, just reflects his experience.

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days."

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what many fail to see is your still protected by the law of the land even if it a private swingers club so if your grabbed by someone who you have not consented to then its sexual assullt end of..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"I was touched without being asked at a club by a man who worked at the club.

He was there as a guest that day and I was getting changed and he groped my boob.

I was a bit surprised that someone who worked at the club didn't seem to understand the etiquette about not touching without asking

"
thats not good Miss I, should have punched him x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days."

Exactly. Next we'll be getting persecuted for writing 'sorry no Asians' in our profile, because you're not entitled to have any preferences of course, for fear of being branded a racist. OP is entitled to his opinion even if it doesn't reflect the ideologies of the fab police.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

Here's the thing OP, I don't think you're racist for the wording of your opening post. I did, however, point out that in my experience it has been only white men (and women) who have exhibited the same troubling behavior. The reason I pointed it out is because I think the topic you raise is a really important one and one that should be discussed more widely than to make it about race ot cultural norms. Not to mention that I, too, was just explaining my own experience.

People are now discussing the important aspect of your post. Why not address them instead of focusing on the race issue yourself?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

People are now discussing the important aspect of your post. Why not address them instead of focusing on the race issue yourself?"

I agree with you there. Etiquette at clubs should be strictly adhered to in my opinion.

Personally I wouldnt dream of touching anyone else without permission. Ok there are times where people do inthe middle of banter and having a laugh but in the escence of touching with more in mind then yes strict adherance to the rules.

In my case yesterday that rude interuption ruined the moment for us and play stopped and that shouldnt happen.

At times its hard to remain focussed when its busy around you as it is but it also makes for the fun aswell but when unwanted and uninvited attention appears its very off putting and not fair on the person being interupted. Some may say well go to a private room but why should we when we do actually enjoy hearing others having fun around us aswell which in turn heightens the experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

People are now discussing the important aspect of your post. Why not address them instead of focusing on the race issue yourself?"

It will naturally be noticed more amongst white people given that Asians are a minority, and most certainly in clubs. That said, we can report similarly disgusting behaviour from Asian men. Guess we must be racist too for having the audacity to write such a thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

People are now discussing the important aspect of your post. Why not address them instead of focusing on the race issue yourself?

Your insistance on making this conversation about race is really unfortunate. I explicitly said I didn't think the OP is racist for the wording of his post. But you go ahead and play the aggrieved "racist" card. This thread is no longer worth reading, in my opinion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

I would have thought it obvious from where the OP is that in all likelihood he will have a higher percentage of Asians on his club than say us in ours.

Personally I thought he showed great restraint, I certainly wouldn't have done!

Also OP it maybe an idea to send the club a link to this thread with your thoughts on what happened stating if it happens to you again then you will openly name them as they did fick all about it. In the two clubs we frequent his feet would not have touched the floor on his way to the exit..Such a message is also what I would be doing in the same situation..but on all likelihood had it been is and he was still in the club we would not frequent it again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too."

I have been to loads of club nights. The only man I have ever complained to the management about was white. I think Asian men have a very difficult time on this site

Sally

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I had this happen to me in the hot tub of a club down south...touching the inside of my thigh suddenly when all we had done was exchange pleasantries about parking!..I made an excuse and left the hot tub fast making it clear I wasn't interested

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy big bolloxMan
over a year ago

Newark

This will probably get deleted or I will get a reprimand but, the Asian male community treat their women with no respect at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will probably get deleted or I will get a reprimand but, the Asian male community treat their women with no respect at all."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will probably get deleted or I will get a reprimand but, the Asian male community treat their women with no respect at all."

Of course it will, no free speech allowed here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will probably get deleted or I will get a reprimand but, the Asian male community treat their women with no respect at all.

Of course it will, no free speech allowed here

Only applies to whites

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imetoexplore69Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"I've had this happen to me a few times in clubs and Marc has taken care of it. In each instance for me it has been with white men, btw.

As I said I wasnt being racist its just that in this instance it was yet a other Asian showing no respect.

"Yet another asian" isn't racist??

"
it is true though and it isn't racist.racist is a very strong word and is used far to easily.i think the problem is Asian men from abroad that cause these problems as there culture is alot different to here.for example my friend is Asian (india) and he met his wife through an arraged marriage which iscommon over there.he never lost his virginity untill he was 30 as you have to be successful and have money before you get a bride so i think thats where alot of the fustration comes from.olso they look down on woman too and a very controlling of them.fair enough this is one guy from one country but he told me thats just there culture which i do find fascinating as im not very well traveled and love listening to others beliefs, cultures.btw he is a hardcore Christian just thought i would add that incase people presumed he was Muslim

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too.

I have been to loads of club nights. The only man I have ever complained to the management about was white. I think Asian men have a very difficult time on this site

Sally"

i complained about men doing it (i didnt specify race..because i was blindfolded!!!)

and women..

and couples

the point being, is that

some PEOPLE

dont ask permission to touch

despite

the club rules..

question is, can we change this, because its stopping people from a, having a good time or b, going to clubs, to have a good time..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/10/16 15:17:56]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too.

I have been to loads of club nights. The only man I have ever complained to the management about was white. I think Asian men have a very difficult time on this site

Sally

i complained about men doing it (i didnt specify race..because i was blindfolded!!!)

and women..

and couples

the point being, is that

some PEOPLE

dont ask permission to touch

despite

the club rules..

question is, can we change this, because its stopping people from a, having a good time or b, going to clubs, to have a good time..

Yes, Wurzel said he also tried it on with the other couple next to him. So all go to management at the same time, all say you either kick him out or we get dressed, you give is our money back & we leave. Those are the only two choices you have before we call the police as its assault.

Front them up, threaten their livelihood.. With some clubs it'll be the only thing that makes them do anything..Most are not exactly overrun with customers as it is..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will probably get deleted or I will get a reprimand but, the Asian male community treat their women with no respect at all.

Of course it will, no free speech allowed here

Only applies to whites

That's a hell of a sweeping statement as Asia is a bloody big place.

However some Asians don't, the vast majority do. Some white men dont treat women with respect, the vast majority do. Some women don't treat men with respect, the vast majority do. Some black men ....... I think we get the point.

But once again an important thread about etiquette and treating others with respect get derailed by people hung up on the wrong bits.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

reading though this post has been very engaging .

I have played in a club with a play partner in the past it is a hard place for me to be in and play in as I can never truly relax .

because I have a protectorate personality due to my up bringing, mix that with absolute respect for all woman again due to my up bringing then add to that because of how I play sexually I'm a consent freak and you have a dangerous mix on your hand for anyone acting in ways mentioned in this forum post .

sadly until clubs employ more staff willing to kick such individuals out on the ear I feel such behaviour is a hazard of the club dynamic and can and has ruined a many a night for many a couple .

you see for me when ever such a event happened it would replace my mellow here for fun vibe with one of boiling sieving anger which I would sometimes never be able to strung off during the rest of the evening ruining my fun and making my play partner less willing to enjoy herself as she knew I was on edge boiling waiting for the next fuckwit to cross the line .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too.

I have been to loads of club nights. The only man I have ever complained to the management about was white. I think Asian men have a very difficult time on this site

Sally

i complained about men doing it (i didnt specify race..because i was blindfolded!!!)

and women..

and couples

the point being, is that

some PEOPLE

dont ask permission to touch

despite

the club rules..

question is, can we change this, because its stopping people from a, having a good time or b, going to clubs, to have a good time..

Education, education, education, but for many swinging is a very selfish pursuit (you only need to look at some people's profiles) and there will always be a small minority who think they can take and do what they want. Clubs can only be judged on how they react to complaints.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy big bolloxMan
over a year ago

Newark

Just because some women choose to be swingers does not take away the right to be respected at all times.

I mean you wouldn't try and touch a women on the beach or in a swimming pool would you........ rules are rules

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just because some women choose to be swingers does not take away the right to be respected at all times.

I mean you wouldn't try and touch a women on the beach or in a swimming pool would you........ rules are rules"

Maybe the should read "Just because PEOPLE choose to be swingers does not take away the right to be respected at all times"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"reading though this post has been very engaging .

I have played in a club with a play partner in the past it is a hard place for me to be in and play in as I can never truly relax .

sadly until clubs employ more staff willing to kick such individuals out on the ear I feel such behaviour is a hazard of the club dynamic and can and has ruined a many a night for many a couple .

the problem is John that because it has happened in the recent past and i was blindfolded and in subspace when it happened, i processed what happened, through rewinding the situation, because i can reenter the space and it wasnt the 'action' that did me most 'damage' it was the sneering laugh as she walked away. and the fact that neither of us, could identify her.

.now when it happened, my first reaction was to punch straight forward so when i took my blindfold off, i would be able to identify them, however because i was cuffed, although not together, i just pulled my arms upwards and outwards, to block and get her hands away..the feeling now is that, people should be very careful when doing it to me now, because, i have subconsciously been programmed that being just defensive, isnt enough. to stop people being vile and also i want them caught, so i need to identify them.. i am now more likely to grab back or punch first and answer questions later and that is really what concerns me..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just want to say that the club did say they were going to deal with him but by that time we were already leaving.

I doubt he will be there again, I dont feel that this is the clubs fault hence not naming them on here, im not out to bring a club that I love going to into disrepute for something that at the end of the day wasnt their fault. This was down to one individual causing a big problem for lots of couples last night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"reading though this post has been very engaging .

I have played in a club with a play partner in the past it is a hard place for me to be in and play in as I can never truly relax .

sadly until clubs employ more staff willing to kick such individuals out on the ear I feel such behaviour is a hazard of the club dynamic and can and has ruined a many a night for many a couple .

I fully understand suzy I am over protective at times its something I'm working on and have been working on for years but its so ingrained in my core being that I really have to watch my temper in such a situation .

I'm all other situation of temper beginning to get the better of me a slow count to 10 can and does work rather well but with a sub my protectorate urge is very powerful and if that was a guy who did that. who he was how big he was wouldn't enter my mind protecting my play partner from a unsolicited invasion of her personal space would be my over riding though and the out come of that side to my personality has in the past ruined the evening for all concerned on lookers and those involved .

I'm not proud of that side to my personality but it exists my problem is trying to rain it in when faced with situation I've experienced and what you and others describe in this post .

heck I vet all who I introduce my play partners before I even introduce my play partners to them because of that protectorate streak .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"reading though this post has been very engaging .

I have played in a club with a play partner in the past it is a hard place for me to be in and play in as I can never truly relax .

sadly until clubs employ more staff willing to kick such individuals out on the ear I feel such behaviour is a hazard of the club dynamic and can and has ruined a many a night for many a couple .

I'm not proud of that side to my personality but it exists my problem is trying to rain it in when faced with situation I've experienced and what you and others describe in this post .

heck I vet all who I introduce my play partners before I even introduce my play partners to them because of that protectorate streak ."
as i said with me i have more issues with women overstepping, than men..that makes it more difficult, imo..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

John if its any consolation atall that guy from last night is damned lucky I held my temper or he would have found himself on the floor. My restraining factor was that I didnt want to get barred myself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"John if its any consolation atall that guy from last night is damned lucky I held my temper or he would have found himself on the floor. My restraining factor was that I didnt want to get barred myself"
exactly x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

I was lucky enough to go a club for the first time last week. And lucky enough to go with someone who protected me from unwanted touching.

Only one tried and was told watch but no touching and to be fair he apologised and moved on. And we went on the have a fabulous time.

But what I wanted to say was a BIG well done to all you lovely guys who look after their playmates xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"reading though this post has been very engaging .

I have played in a club with a play partner in the past it is a hard place for me to be in and play in as I can never truly relax .

sadly until clubs employ more staff willing to kick such individuals out on the ear I feel such behaviour is a hazard of the club dynamic and can and has ruined a many a night for many a couple .

I'm not proud of that side to my personality but it exists my problem is trying to rain it in when faced with situation I've experienced and what you and others describe in this post .

heck I vet all who I introduce my play partners before I even introduce my play partners to them because of that protectorate streak . as i said with me i have more issues with women overstepping, than men..that makes it more difficult, imo.."

yes it does and is rather a sad turn of events .in the case of a woman I would in no uncertain terms ask right to her face in front of every one why she did what she did then after hearing her reason. I would lecture her so all could here on consent and personal space and what I think of those who violate others peoples personal space with out consent being acquired before hand .

I feel for you suzy you have such a interesting dynamic the fact others lack the brain to understand and the will to want to pains me because it leads in events like you describe.

one day I may attend a club both you and your partner are attending for no other reason than to offer a extra pair of eyes to help you and him have a truly memorable time that's how much I respect the pair of you as human beings and the dynamic you share.

just wish it work to plan every time you both attend a club in fact I wish the same to all who attend clubs .

as for the you and your partner you deserve that and so much more for trying to change people perception of kink and BDSM secene in general as well as trying to introduce new people into the scene .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I get that fella big time my problem is my protectorate streak can make the red mist descend before I know its descended .I.E act with out thought or reason .

again not something I'm proud of about me as a man .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *methyst01Man
over a year ago

Ealing Common

Apologies if my response takes this thread on a different twist but i have been dying to ask somebody.

These Asian males, is it fair to categorise between those directly from Asia vs British Asian?

My few club visits had these direct "imports" and i noticed similar behaviour but the British born guys are different.

I raise this as I am not Asian, but i have Asian ancestorage. I have my own culture, speak my own languages none of which are Asian languages, i cant even relate to the Asian culture but because i may have certain features, i fear that i am being painted with the same brush?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imetoexplore69Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Apologies if my response takes this thread on a different twist but i have been dying to ask somebody.

These Asian males, is it fair to categorise between thosue directly from Asia vs British Asian?

My few club visits had these direct "imports" and i noticed similar behaviour but the British born guys are different.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"reading though this post has been very engaging .

I have played in a club with a play partner in the past it is a hard place for me to be in and play in as I can never truly relax .

sadly until clubs employ more staff willing to kick such individuals out on the ear I feel such behaviour is a hazard of the club dynamic and can and has ruined a many a night for many a couple .

I'm not proud of that side to my personality but it exists my problem is trying to rain it in when faced with situation I've experienced and what you and others describe in this post .

I feel for you suzy you have such a interesting dynamic the fact others lack the brain to understand and the will to want to pains me because it leads in events like you describe.

just wish it work to plan every time you both attend a club in fact I wish the same to all who attend clubs .

as for the you and your partner you deserve that and so much more for trying to change people perception of kink and BDSM secene in general as well as trying to introduce new people into the scene . "
i just like people being free enough to explore what is thier usually suppressed nature, if it helps that we talk, or show or include others, listen and talk to them, have great experiences, that's very satisfying to me. I have thought about Domming more within our dynamic with others, because a good experience can often empower..we will see. yes i often think a member of staff at the door of an open dungeon at a club, would be useful x You know the arrangement we have, whether you enter it on those terms, is upto you sweet x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustonce1Man
over a year ago

Leicester

First thing people mention these days racism!!!!! Makes me fucking sick if you're doing something in a club that clearly and very obviously going too upset someone regardless of who it is then they should be confronted end off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First thing people mention these days racism!!!!! Makes me fucking sick if you're doing something in a club that clearly and very obviously going too upset someone regardless of who it is then they should be confronted end off "

I quite agree with you. It doesn't matter what skin colour they are, so it doesn't need to be brought up on the forums.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *methyst01Man
over a year ago

Ealing Common

"Apologies if my response takes this thread on a different twist but i have been dying to ask somebody.

These Asian males, is it fair to categorise between thosue directly from Asia vs British Asian?

My few club visits had these direct "imports" and i noticed similar behaviour but the British born guys are different.

Im sure no culture condones grabbing but what i do know about Eastern culture is that it is very conservative.

Many of these direct import asian males have been let loose if i can use that term in Western society so they think a swing club is a free for all........which is sad and even worse when there is a domino effect on others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was it Donald Trump in disguise?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arry_UkMan
over a year ago

birmingham

OP claims he's not racist but mentions Asian men again and again...

Even when getting told every race does it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though? "

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"OP claims he's not racist but mentions Asian men again and again...

Even when getting told every race does it!

"
look he didnt put the race in a bracket in his OP..

the guy is lovely, not a racism bone in his body, he was describing his experience at a club and it happened to be an Asian man, it waqs a description , not a race comment, just like my experience was with a 'woman'.so am i sexist now? ..doubt it very much..as im Bi....get over it and quit trolling..or actually make a valid point ..have you had a shitty experience at a club and if so, who did it to you..'adjectives allowed'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't think the race of the guy was relevant to the story.

It was the uninvited touching/groping that was the issue and to be fair,some men of all races do touch without asking at the club the OP is talking about.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

No matter how valid the OPs point was - I knew by the time we got to the end of this long thread you would get a few 'right-ons' shouting racism.

And guess what?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

Wurzle is not racist. It has happened to alot of people and it's is 9/10 times the same ethnic group. Wurzle is a lovely guy who stands up and protects women from the sex pests that can be found

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pl28indCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Its a human nature!(for perverts) not assosiated with color! Its easy to grope a person that to have balls to ask them if its ok!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

Wurzle is not racist. It has happened to alot of people and it's is 9/10 times the same ethnic group. Wurzle is a lovely guy who stands up and protects women from the sex pests that can be found

I'm a regular at the club and I've been groped uninvited by more white men than any other race so your comment is not true.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

To be fair op you dealt with this better than i would of done.

Had this happend to boo. He would of simply of been instructed to remove his hand or visit the local hospital.

Men take liberties are normally new to the scene, however it doesnt help to excuse this behaviour.

Yes it Is rude and you should of reported him to the club owners so they could remove him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though?

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,"

Wow picking out the Rochdale grooming scandal, why didn't you mention the BBC lot eg Saville, Harris etc? oh they are white!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not just swingers clubs but general nights out I find foreign guys tend to touch or grab hold of me makes me feel uncomfortable x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I can't understand why people are fixated on the ethnicity of the offender in the ops original post its was just a description of a real event including details of the offender nothing more nothing less in my opinion .I personally see nothing wrong with including details on a topic in a post about something the op clearly feels strong about to his credit which is the uninvited and unsolicited touching and groping of woman in clubs by guys who need to read a leaflet on consent and personal space before they are allowed to enter the club in my opinion .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

[Removed by poster at 20/10/16 20:21:53]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

This problem is not about colour or race but about the way different cultures view women. Those societies that expect their women to be virgins until married such as muslim, travelers, greek orthodox etc have very little respect for women who act and dress the way they do in swinger clubs in fact to some of them they are no better than whores. We have experienced this attitude in clubs (Libs being the most recent).

Certain people jump on the 'ooh-you're-racist' bandwagon because it suits their particular holier-than-thou pc agenda.

In our opinion their should be a strict probationary period for club membership.

This is a kind of unwritten rule in the party scene. If you're a twat and don't fit in you don't get invited back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP claims he's not racist but mentions Asian men again and again...

Even when getting told every race does it!

"
there are a lot of people whose experiences will mirror that of the op. I used to work at clubs and honestly the attitude of most ( but not all ) asian guys i showed around was basically that they had paid their money and expect to be able to touch...

Yes some white.. black.. and any other ethnic groups can think this but I found this to be more prevalent amongst the asian guys.. and also been told straight by an asian guy that they love how white girls will do it but its disgusting if asian girls are...

Do i think all asian guys think like this... nope.. in fact a guy that we have met at many clubs we would go as far as to say that others could learn from him.. and hes asian.. but my ( calis ) personal experience has been negative with asian and eastern European in clubs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This problem is not about colour or race but about the way different cultures view women. Those societies that expect their women to be virgins until married such as muslim, travelers, greek orthodox etc have very little respect for women who act and dress the way they do in swinger clubs in fact to some of them they are no better than whores. We have experienced this attitude in clubs (Libs being the most recent).

Certain people jump on the 'ooh-you're-racist' bandwagon because it suits their particular holier-than-thou pc agenda.

In our opinion their should be a strict probationary period for club membership.

This is a kind of unwritten rule in the party scene. If you're a twat and don't fit in you don't get invited back."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

When were in a couples only room recently, we had a single guy telling us to turn around so he could see better! Caroline told him to go use the viewing room, he refused, so Dave pointed out it was a couples only room so he had to leave - and as it happens, he was Asian.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened to me at the Attic on Saturday night. In over a year of going to clubs, it's the first time and it totally spoilt my night.

I had my back to guy in question and heard Beard shout "No" as the guy touched me. He wasn't even apologetic and continued to stay in the room. I was really upset by it and play stopped. Beard was understandably furious and said something to the guy, who pretended he didn't speak English.

We went and spoke to staff and immediately they took us to find him and threw him out. They made me a cup of tea and checked I was ok etc. Spot on. We were really happy with the way they handled it. Other women around us didn't seem to understand why we were 'making such a fuss'. But it's never ok to touch without permission and I won't tolerate it.

If you didn't tell the club, they can't deal with the situation appropriately, then get a rough deal from people coming on here moaning about the club being rubbish etc.

Red xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, as far as i know, Jimmy Savile and rolf harris didn't behave like twats in a club

However, because I've seen it for myself, and so have others, i stand by my post

If you want to be smart at my expense, go right ahead

I know the kind of comments my friend received on our visit to a club from a group of Asian men,and trying to belittle me doesn't alter that one iota

There were a wide cross section of ethnicity that night, only that group behaved that way

Their attitude was appalling to every woman they came into contact with, so posting about an actual, not theoretical, meet, i have seen it first hand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

Bloody hell! Id be asking permission even to watch!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

"No matter how valid the OPs point was - I knew by the time we got to the end of this long thread you would get a few 'right-ons' shouting racism.

And guess what?

Too right, and most calling names don't actually know the OP. But still feel free to make accusations. PC craziness if you ask me.

I cant assure all those calling names he isn't a racist! He just dislikes disrespectful people (of either gender or ethnicity).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Oh for god sake im not saying its ONLY Asians im just saying that in MY experience ive not experienced it from others."

I'm beginning to think that maybe you should have mentioned the club.

In your OP: a person made an inappropriate advance and you dealt with it. Assuming you reported the incident to the club, if it happens regularly then it is the club which is at fault imho.

Mr ddc

(there, see how I didn't need to mention race or gender?

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

"Bad club etiquette isn't limited to men either.

On my only club visit so far i was groped by a woman as i was walking past. She just said "ooh big boobies" and copped a feel.

I was quite taken aback to be fair, i did expect some unwanted touching from men but not from women.

Women are the absolute worst for this. I have been groped by women more often than men, and they just think it's cute or funny.

I think all people in clubs need to think before they touch. "

Quite shocked by all this surely a common courtesy to say at least something playfully like "do you need another hand there" just barging in like it's a porno gangbang... Jesus

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I've been touched, grabbed, kissed, mauled and had people not take no for answer. This has been by men who are white, Asian and black. To be fair I've never had a woman do it to me but I appreciate it happens.

My experience also includes one person on this thread (not to be named but they know who they are, it's not for discussion as it was dealt with at the time and is done) but I include it now to show that anyone however genuine can on occasion behave in a way that is disrespectful.

Aside from individual occurrences of any background, I see a common attitude in SOME Asian and Eastern European men who think it's a sex club (distinct from swinging) and they've paid their entrance fee so that entitles them to touch the women.

I don't believe it's racist to say I see common attitudes so please don't accuse me of that. I attend clubs regularly enough to be objective about it.

Firstly the clubs need to educate on etiquette and making clear the difference between swinging club and sex club to everyone on their first visit. Secondly if it happens tell the club and let them deal with it. I personally deal with my own issues first but where I think it's bad enough will inform the club.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well, as far as i know, Jimmy Savile and rolf harris didn't behave like twats in a club

However, because I've seen it for myself, and so have others, i stand by my post

If you want to be smart at my expense, go right ahead

I know the kind of comments my friend received on our visit to a club from a group of Asian men,and trying to belittle me doesn't alter that one iota

There were a wide cross section of ethnicity that night, only that group behaved that way

Their attitude was appalling to every woman they came into contact with, so posting about an actual, not theoretical, meet, i have seen it first hand "

Yep Britain First seem to bring up the Rochdale case fairly frequently on social media yet fail to mention the numerous white groomers & pedophiles! Why you chose to even mention the Rochdale case is beyond me, we once witnessed a lady groping men without permission should we equate that and say "yep women eh we know it happens look at Rosemary West" of course not!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh for god sake im not saying its ONLY Asians im just saying that in MY experience ive not experienced it from others.

I'm beginning to think that maybe you should have mentioned the club.

In your OP: a person made an inappropriate advance and you dealt with it. Assuming you reported the incident to the club, if it happens regularly then it is the club which is at fault imho.

Mr ddc

(there, see how I didn't need to mention race or gender?

I reported it to the staff on the spot and got backed up by plenty of others that had also had issues with this guy but not said anything until I had.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too.

Then listen to other people's experiences and you might avoid being labelled racist."

He was asking about his experience so why listen to others this is his thread. And if he had said a white guy grabbed her no one would be jumping on the racist wagon. We've had the same problem with guys in general but when told they go away but got to agree that Asian men seem to push there luck after there told no and then get the hump. like one that pinned my Mrs in a room and told her as she was in a sex club she was game for him to do as he wanted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes me laugh when people jump on the racist band wagon. So he used the ethnicity of the fella. He also used the fact it was a man. Does that make him sexist? No it doesn't!! Sadly stuff like this (ironically applicable in the Rochdale grooming scandal for many years - avoiding the FACT that the men were Asian that groomed white girls, for fear of being deemed racist) These are the FACTS an Asian man inappropriately touched a female. We could debate whether this is more prenevelent amongst certain ethnic groups or not but let's remember the issue here - inappropriate touching is never ok, from anyone!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Oh for god sake im not saying its ONLY Asians im just saying that in MY experience ive not experienced it from others.

I'm beginning to think that maybe you should have mentioned the club.

In your OP: a person made an inappropriate advance and you dealt with it. Assuming you reported the incident to the club, if it happens regularly then it is the club which is at fault imho.

Mr ddc

(there, see how I didn't need to mention race or gender?

)

I reported it to the staff on the spot and got backed up by plenty of others that had also had issues with this guy but not said anything until I had."

So do you see my point that it would appear the club doesn't take this sort of thing seriously? Surely if it is a regular occurrence they need to improve their initial introductory tour and have a clear zero tolerance policy.

Have you explained your problems in a club review? We've only been to the Attic, but they had a couple of bad reviews once and the changes the next time we went back made it obvious that they take feedback seriously.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PC craziness if you ask me.

Ah yes. "Political Correctness" or in other words "Ideas that I happen to find ridiculous are being taken seriously by a lot of people, and it’s ruining this country."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In mh opinion sub drop can't be totally avoided but it can be managed. If you are prone to it then make sure whoever you are involved with understands and is willing to help you and be with you until such time as you reappear on the other side. Dropping is just part of the ride x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is literally the one thing that puts me off going to clubs. I'd love to go, but I want to go to have sex and relax, not work security around my missus.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have been at a club where once or twice a hand has strayed over and touched me without asking - i myself move the hand away - if met with any resistance the fella i go with would for sure put him in his place and if the club did nothing to remove him we would report - no means no

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"This is literally the one thing that puts me off going to clubs. I'd love to go, but I want to go to have sex and relax, not work security around my missus."
i have to say. that although this seems to be a common occurrence, for every unwanted encounter, i am sure 100 wanted ones are happening. i appreciate that its an issue, i also appreciate i put myself in positions of vulnerability, probably more so than most, while its still not ok..the great experiences i have had at clubs far out weigh the shitty incidences which are usually brief x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does his race matter?

Because in MY experience its always the asians that are doing this and ive not experienced any issues at a club from any other race

If it was another other race they would be getting named too."

Well done OP.... it was after all your experiences you were talking about.. People love coming across all PC.. we had someone suggesting that we wouldn't want to live next to other races just because we don't want sex with Asians.. don't see how they can be linked myself..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ercuryMan
over a year ago

Grantham

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though?

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,

Wow picking out the Rochdale grooming scandal, why didn't you mention the BBC lot eg Saville, Harris etc? oh they are white!

So if a woman.puts black men only, that's preference and not racism?

If a club charges a man considerably more than a woman to get in, then that's policy and not sexism?

Fab seems to condone these attitudes. Question is, do you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"This is literally the one thing that puts me off going to clubs. I'd love to go, but I want to go to have sex and relax, not work security around my missus."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though?

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,

Wow picking out the Rochdale grooming scandal, why didn't you mention the BBC lot eg Saville, Harris etc? oh they are white!

So if a woman.puts black men only, that's preference and not racism?

If a club charges a man considerably more than a woman to get in, then that's policy and not sexism?

Fab seems to condone these attitudes. Question is, do you?"

If a woman only wants to fuck black men that is her choice not racism. Her body her choice to do what she wants with it.

Club prices for single men - been done to death. It's covered under the private members clause and is used to encourge more women, the under represented group. If you don't like a clubs policy don't go. Simple.

Real racism and sexism exists, however playing the race and sexist card just because something doesn't include you is frankly pathetic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Bored with all this stuff about racism. Surely if I'm a racist because I don't fancy black or Asian men, then they must be homophobic if they don't fancy other men!?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though?

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,"

And in Oxford and many other places where it didn't make the news. I wonder if the fab race police wrote to the BBC & ITV moaning on about their use of the word Asian and subjecting them to a similar sermon. I think not. I suppose at least in these forums the fab race police get published and read by people they think will actually give a shit. As soon as they realise that people are entitled to an opinion, questionable as it may be, the better. Perhaps they just sit their, cock/clitoris in hand, strumming away every time someone agrees with them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though?

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any raced man does this.

When i go to chams with my fb this happens full stop with some men regardless of race

Just trying to keep this in perpective.. and not grow into a race post

But am ashamed to say though yes.. asian men in clubs generally do have a tendancy to be rude and pig headed.

Is this down to culture though?

It appears to be all cultures but some asian men think women are just available whenever the want

And all those critics calling racist, it exists in real life, as can be seen in the Rochdale grooming scandal,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ooking for bbwsCouple
over a year ago

secret garden chilling, always something to do in the garden

"I trust you highlighted this to the club staff?

He got reported for it yes however he was still there when I left even though the staff member had spoken to several others about him aswell.

He asked why I was reporting yet noone else had but it was clear alot of people had issues with this guy."

If that ad happened at one of the clubs i go to ur wood of been thrown out as weather he-she was white or black....

I've ad something simiular happen, was in a club with a few guys, this guy gets in pills my hand down towards u know wot, my hand flings back out the water everyone afterwards said i should of hit him but then that wood of been my fault. Unfortunately, this one did not get asked to leave as not heard him speak or C his face, but another occasion this guy was asked to leave it was bout 4am, an 4of us chilling in the hot tub, the one guy between me an this idiot, who'd been told twice I was NOT interested, once the guy in the middle got out he slid round to my legs which were on the seat of the hot tub, an was bout an intch away from my foot, (now at that point my knee could dislocate at anything ), so i get out go straight to the guys at the door as ad enough, one guy told me to cum back an show me whom it was as the staff know me, an know wot I'm going through! He got the guy out told him to grab his towel,an got him in the lounge, the guy goes I was this far from her, arms length, the staff was not interested, got him to the locker room gave him his key an told to leave!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I point out any inidviuals in clubs that aren't behaving according to club rules or basic respect for others. If this one person has had prior bad behaviour, it sounds like others haven't let management know about him. If they're letting him and others who are similar in, despite inappropriate behaviour, then I'd stop visiting the club. Ideally you'd get the person who's been groped to actually inform staff and you'd provide moral support etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litheroevoyeurMan
over a year ago

Clitheroe

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

They are not alone, I understood what you were saying too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I got run over three times, each on the first Friday of the month I might be cautious of that day even though others had been run over on other days.

Thank you, nice to see that someone can see where I am coming from with this.

They are not alone, I understood what you were saying too."

Me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread