FabSwingers.com forum: Regular FWB

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it really that hard to find a regular FWB on here? Is it too much to ask people to be honest and upfront? Starting to get a bit fed up of people saying they are looking for regular FWB then vanish after 1 encounter.

I'm always upfront during social meets about what I'm looking for and they say all the right things but then after sex I never hear from them again. I know this is a swinging site and that's what some people want, which is fine, but being lied to is starting to really piss me off. What worries me more is that these guys have my number.

It's got me seriously questioning myself

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By *heekyScouse1980Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Hey shhhh, it could be worse, I've been on this site for longer than I like to admit and have only ever had 2 meets and a social. I know it's harder for guys on here but this is nuts, I've been patient, I'm always polite and I do pretty well away from the site but I know what you mean by starting to question it lol

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By *heSassyOneWoman
over a year ago

SE Michigan

I totally get where you are coming from. Be nice if guys would be truthful if after 1st time, it wasn't there for them. We are adults here. Show respect for each other

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By *0tt0nSu3Woman
over a year ago

London

"Is it really that hard to find a regular FWB on here? Is it too much to ask people to be honest and upfront? Starting to get a bit fed up of people saying they are looking for regular FWB then vanish after 1 encounter.

It's got me seriously questioning myself

I don't have any advice in particular, but I do have an opinion on guys having your number. Get yourself a cheap phone with a payg sim card. If there are problems with these guys then chuck the card.

Others will give advice on the other stuff. This luck and all the best OP.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Lots of people would like one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is exactly what I'm looking for. I get maybe you can have fun & then they think you're not compatable.

But it's so hard to find one. Guess I'll just have to keep looking

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

I shouldn't think its you. I want a fwb too but I think the majority of guys (not all before the genuine ones kick off!) are just out to fuck anybody. I have found recently fab has gotten worse with the amount of guys that think it's ok to send me a message along the line of wanna fuck like ooohhh how can I refuse!!!

Am starting to think a male fwb is getting as rare as getting a unicorn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

To out the genuine from the fakes, i simply don't have any sexual contact until i feel they are genuinely looking for a FWB, some may think in a twat and yes i know it's a site for casual sex, but i simply don't want to flop my legs open for any old bloke. Had a playmate since January. Men will tell you what you want to hear if it means they stand a chance of getting in ya undercrackers.

Once guys realise that you wont open your legs until you are satisfied that they want what you do, they either stop contact or genuinely do several socials.

Good luck honey, they are out there xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely get were the ladies are coming from. I am a bloke who would like a fwb and that is completely impossible to find as most of the ladies i message don't even reply and I'm polite and respectful. You ladies talk abit more to guys and you will see the cream rise to the top and the others fall by the way side. Or that's my thoughts anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally get where you are coming from. Be nice if guys would be truthful if after 1st time, it wasn't there for them. We are adults here. Show respect for each other"

Exactly!! So bloody frustrating

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

Once guys realise that you wont open your legs until you are satisfied that they want what you do, they either stop contact or genuinely do several socials.

Good luck honey, they are out there xx"

Thank you x

Your post really resonated with me. Guess I need be more careful in my vetting and I'll def be taking your advice.

It's the lying that really boils my piss. We are all adults here. Don't lie!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I shouldn't think its you. I want a fwb too but I think the majority of guys (not all before the genuine ones kick off!) are just out to fuck anybody. I have found recently fab has gotten worse with the amount of guys that think it's ok to send me a message along the line of wanna fuck like ooohhh how can I refuse!!!

Am starting to think a male fwb is getting as rare as getting a unicorn "

This place is def got more guys wanting to shag the entire site rather than swinging. Starting to feel a bit icky about it all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

I don't have any advice in particular, but I do have an opinion on guys having your number. Get yourself a cheap phone with a payg sim card. If there are problems with these guys then chuck the card.

Others will give advice on the other stuff. This luck and all the best OP. "

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

I would love to find a regular fwb, I don't enjoy the whole chase and think you can have such a better time with someone you have more of a connection and trust with. I've pretty much given up though, it's frustrating when I see posts like yours from attractive women wanting the same as you are always so far away. I need to move!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am starting to think a male fwb is getting as rare as getting a unicorn "

We are around.....been in a fwb relationship...with a couple.for 2 years...not what i was after but absolutely love it.....last thing on my mind is to fuck everyone on here....way too fusssy for that. Whats more would only want to play others with them..way more fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

Once guys realise that you wont open your legs until you are satisfied that they want what you do, they either stop contact or genuinely do several socials.

Good luck honey, they are out there xx

Thank you x

Your post really resonated with me. Guess I need be more careful in my vetting and I'll def be taking your advice.

It's the lying that really boils my piss. We are all adults here. Don't lie!!! "

I'm with you on that!! I can tolerate a few things but lying is not one of them!

As soon as I know I'm being lied to, I no longer want to know!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We seem to find the guys that want regular when i ( cali) dont like to do repeats..

Id guess it could depend on what your expecting from a fwb.. and are you expecting it from day one. Most are going to still want to meet others.. and if your saying i want to meet regular on the first meet..well that could send guys running... we met and became fwb then more but it certainly wasn't planned or anything we talked about x

Good luck

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By *ime 2 CumCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Have to say these kind of messages are on the increase, not sure what they are thinking but it's a total turn off and delete for us. Stimulate our minds it's not just about the shag, it's a swinging site yes but not a call girl come now and I'll fuck ya site

Am starting to think a male fwb is getting as rare as getting a unicorn "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a myth

Get a good toy box instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

"
if they were honest about what they want ie a quick one off they would know that you wouldn't go with them as it's not what you are looking for that's is why do many on here say they want fwb just so they can get laid xx

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

Really wish I still had a regular fb...it's so much more fun than trying to fuck every woman in here

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By *lowhands7Man
over a year ago

South Leicestershire

Don't question yourself and don't lower your standards. It also hard for men to find em too but sure they are out there!?!? Makes me wonder if this is the right site to find one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's quite funny seeing these liars desperation when most women local to them cotton onto the fact that they are always looking for the next fuck so don't wanna meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it's quite funny seeing these liars desperation when most women local to them cotton onto the fact that they are always looking for the next fuck so don't wanna meet them."

This!!

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By *acLe0dMan
over a year ago

Preston

Won't always work, but as others have aid start off as friends before moving on to FWB. The more genuine of us guys are looking for similar are likely to put in the effort. And as others have said get a cheap PAYG phone/sim to use. That way you can get rid off your number easily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain!! I've learnt the hard way- only use kik, message for a while (many naturally lose interest along this stage), at least one social first, then first play is at theirs. I've still had one offs doing it that way, but it seems to reduce them. I don't expect exclusivity either, but I definitely enjoy repeat meets where you explore more of each other. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is an FWB? I know what an fb is

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Friends with Benefits. So in my opinion thats somebody you would spend time with outside of the more intimate moments as well as sharing....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I had one of those for 5 yeara I met on another site! He was lovely but became very attached to me and looked for much more than I could offer so I encouraged him to go on ZOOSK where he has now.met the right lady for him.

I do miss him though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have also been looking for one for years. I got more chance to met tony blair at nandoes for a coffee lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it can happen but it's not easy to meet that one. I have met over 50 guys on fab and 90% of them just social .meets to see where it led...very few of them were guys I wanted to be a friend too although quite a few were very fanciable.

With hindsight I know that for me socials are by far the best route to meeting such a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oops..excuse the error..I meant to instead of too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's "FWB" if you start it rightly from front to back its works. If you start from back to front it doesn't work. Perhaps look at friends first before the benefit that way you can out those who are not up for it the way you want it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's "FWB" if you start it rightly from front to back its works. If you start from back to front it doesn't work. Perhaps look at friends first before the benefit that way you can out those who are not up for it the way you want it"
this works and don't commit the cardinal sin don't get clingy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel your pain!! I've learnt the hard way- only use kik, message for a while (many naturally lose interest along this stage), at least one social first, then first play is at theirs. I've still had one offs doing it that way, but it seems to reduce them. I don't expect exclusivity either, but I definitely enjoy repeat meets where you explore more of each other. Xx"

Exactly this!

I find messaging s out the time wasters that just want to get in your 'undercrackers'

I also need mental stimulation from a prospective meet so throwing chat backwards & forwards helps there too.

I have a regular in that he's the one I've met most but other commitments means we don't get to meet very often, when we do though it's amazing!!

I think a lot of women on here are looking for the elusive FWB

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By *occerstar579Man
over a year ago

Berwick

Exactly this!

I find messaging s out the time wasters that just want to get in your 'undercrackers'

I also need mental stimulation from a prospective meet so throwing chat backwards & forwards helps there too.

I have a regular in that he's the one I've met most but other commitments means we don't get to meet very often, when we do though it's amazing!!

I think a lot of women on here are looking for the elusive FWB

Think most lads forget that the biggest sexual organ that a person has in the brain. If u can stimulate and tease the brain then what follows is sooo much better!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love a FWB, someone who I could meet regularly. It's proving to be tricky and elusive, but in the meantime I'll continue to wait patiently and enjoy the forums!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Friends with Benefits. So in my opinion thats somebody you would spend time with outside of the more intimate moments as well as sharing...."
well that's my definition but with past experience most just want the benefits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you probably need to specify on your profile that fwb is what you are seeking. I feel that this site is geared primarily to casual sex with lots of folk and i have myself found that many guys who say that are really seeking fwb end up posting numerous sex meets on their profile which speaks volumes

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

How do you know if you are going to be buddies if you don't know how sexually compatible you are? You may both have the same outlook - in looking for something causal, though unless you 'fuck', how do you know if there'll be any benefits?

I can't say I have met many new people recently, though I have met plenty of women and couples who were great as ones offs and were great to go back to. Some, I thought I'd be invited back to and wasn't and others where holidays were planned before clothes were taken off.

I'll hazard a guess that not all of your meets have lived up to expectation (either in bed or appearance), so what happened to those that wanted to be that buddy but you didn't. It cannot be that you have been fucked and swerved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly this!

I find messaging s out the time wasters that just want to get in your 'undercrackers'

I also need mental stimulation from a prospective meet so throwing chat backwards & forwards helps there too.

I have a regular in that he's the one I've met most but other commitments means we don't get to meet very often, when we do though it's amazing!!

I think a lot of women on here are looking for the elusive FWB

FWB couple here !

Met as singles a couple of times before anything sexual happened?

But had such a laugh together that we knew straight away that we had a sexual click and we weren't wrong !!!

Everything we do is always filled with fun and laughter !!

Don't think it's something you can look for as most guys will agree then run ? It's just something that happens

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

Exactly this!

I find messaging s out the time wasters that just want to get in your 'undercrackers'

I also need mental stimulation from a prospective meet so throwing chat backwards & forwards helps there too.

I have a regular in that he's the one I've met most but other commitments means we don't get to meet very often, when we do though it's amazing!!

I think a lot of women on here are looking for the elusive FWB

FWB couple here !

Met as singles a couple of times before anything sexual happened?

But had such a laugh together that we knew straight away that we had a sexual click and we weren't wrong !!!

Everything we do is always filled with fun and laughter !!

Don't think it's something you can look for as most guys will agree then run ? It's just something that happens

Same here

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

Sorry I don't have anymore vacancies ; all booked up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for everyone's input and advice on this. Feel a lot better now and it's put things into perspective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me the point of a fwb would be to share experiences with, not just together but with other people too. I have had some great times but miss not having anyone to share them with. Yes a lot of guys will say what you want to hear but please don't tar us all with the same brush. Some of us genuinely want a fwb for totally legitimate reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to play devil's advocate here, but maybe the men aren't actually liars. Maybe they are looking for a FWB but they didn't feel a connection or the sex wasn't what they were looking for.

This isn't aimed at you OP, it's just in general. It's the same as someone on a dating site complaining that the person they went on one date with is a liar because they say on their profile they are looking for a relationship, yet they don't want a second date. It doesn't necessarily make them a liar, it just means they don't want a second date with you.

Unfortunately online dating and sites like this have made people very disposable. The next date/fuck is only a swipe/click away and there's always someone better out there (in some people's minds).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to play devil's advocate here, but maybe the men aren't actually liars. Maybe they are looking for a FWB but they didn't feel a connection or the sex wasn't what they were looking for.

Unfortunately online dating and sites like this have made people very disposable. The next date/fuck is only a swipe/click away and there's always someone better out there (in some people's minds). "

This is actually a very fair point.xx

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I got lucky and found one

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"For me the point of a fwb would be to share experiences with, not just together but with other people too. I have had some great times but miss not having anyone to share them with. Yes a lot of guys will say what you want to hear but please don't tar us all with the same brush. Some of us genuinely want a fwb for totally legitimate reasons. "

Well said, and good profile, I wish you luck

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"Just to play devil's advocate here, but maybe the men aren't actually liars. Maybe they are looking for a FWB but they didn't feel a connection or the sex wasn't what they were looking for.

Unfortunately online dating and sites like this have made people very disposable. The next date/fuck is only a swipe/click away and there's always someone better out there (in some people's minds).

This is actually a very fair point.xx"

Agree it's a fair point. I'm looking for a FWB but there's plenty of people I meet where I, they or both of us have no interest in meeting a second time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's got me seriously questioning myself

Once guys realise that you wont open your legs until you are satisfied that they want what you do, they either stop contact or genuinely do several socials.

Good luck honey, they are out there xx

Thank you x

Your post really resonated with me. Guess I need be more careful in my vetting and I'll def be taking your advice.

It's the lying that really boils my piss. We are all adults here. Don't lie!!! "

Oh definately, i cannot stand the lies, as if we are dumb enough to fall for them. I saddly have become so hard shelled to guys on here, and am extremely wise to the amoubt of BS that 'some' try and feed us.

You will find a genuine one, it's just very time consuming hahaha xx

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I've made no secret that I would like to find a lady to be a more permanent feature in my life..

So any ladies who'd like to meet a guy from west Yorkshire (ish) please get in touch.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah the old FWB debate.

I think there are so many factors on this. Heres how I see it.

I would love an fwb thats into the lifestyle however

1. Finding one LOCAL so that its easy to see each other regularly

2. Finding someone that you are actually compatible with

3. Finding someone with the same ground rules as you

Finding all 3 in the same person is damned near impossible so in the meantime you continue to meet other women in order that you hope that you can find that particular person.

You meet and yes its fun but you realise that as an FWB your not compatible and so it turns into a meet. I never get down about this I accept that she wasnt the one or that I wasnt the one for her and so it continues.

Im afraid its lart of the nature of this life but dont give up hope as it may happen for you.

Hasnt for me yet but in the meantime I continue having fun on that search.

Also without being too contraversial in my experience you meet a lady who says she wants an fwb but then when you look at it and analyse it what she really wants is closer to a relationship and that is what stops me. The same can be said vice versa but as im not looking for a guy I cant comment on that side.

Only last week I was talking to a lady on here about possibly becoming fwb and in her next breath she was talking about a relationship. End of chat with her im afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its obvious they are married guys out for fun more than likely

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"its obvious they are married guys out for fun more than likely"

I can't see how being married would alter whether they'd meet someone regularly or go for one offs?

Unless they were just thrill of the chase hunters but I suppose those people could just as easily be non married

Personally I get nothing from a chase and prefer regular meets but as has been said it's so hard to find

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had FWB on here before who wanted fidelity (1:1) then you decided to play behind back.

To the tune of several other meets with blokes and a full blown adult party beteeen 3 couples and a single (where she purported to one of the couples with a different bloke(than me)).

So even the ladies who want just one fwb are quite often playing the field and have made it harder for the genuine ones who really do want just one. Not all just some.

Something the guys deal with on a daily basis.

Dave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But isnt the point of being an fwb being non exclusive?

Or in my case someone to see regularly that likes to play at kestrels and in the life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought I had one until I read he revised his profile making it clear he was up for meeting others for sex as well as posting a few sex meets in hotel whilst on business

My interest in him waned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah so you wanted an exclusive FWB?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But isnt the point of being an fwb being non exclusive?

Or in my case someone to see regularly that likes to play at kestrels and in the life?"

Agree wholeheartedly with this. I'd never assume exclusivity on either part, as that to me is a relationship. (And to be brutally honest, even if I ever did have a relationship again, I still wouldn't want exclusivity!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago I had a really good friend with benefits. Social and intimate times as and when we had time to spare or felt like each others company.

We didn't live in each others pocket and had our own lives not a relationship.

I thought it would be easy to find the same again due to most of us having worn various T shirts and know what we want.

Most guys I've met just want a fuck buddy shag and go but say they want a fwb initialy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got lucky and found one

So did I......but sadly she has moved away....another would be so good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Years ago I had a really good friend with benefits. Social and intimate times as and when we had time to spare or felt like each others company.

We didn't live in each others pocket and had our own lives not a relationship.

I thought it would be easy to find the same again due to most of us having worn various T shirts and know what we want.

Most guys I've met just want a fuck buddy shag and go but say they want a fwb initialy.

Agree. Have found that many guys will spin a load of crap to get you into bed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And some of us DO also enjoy the social side.....particularly those of us that are actually single!

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By *otlips2000Man
over a year ago

swadlincote

I would like a FWB

But would like to have a friend first and it develop onto FWB .Iam not one for first time sex more social first. it's better spread over several meets (I think) that's my theory just need to get it into practice

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

how would you know they were compatible as a FWB, without having sex first? its all very well stipulating what youd like ideally, but unless you click in the bedroom..what would be the point..

my suggestion. change the adventure..go out with the same intention, but with the..try before you buy option in your head..sooner or later you will find one that wants to see you again and again, as you do him..then it becomes a fwb..you cant demand anyone to be your friend..it happens. this doesnt mean you haveto go out with ill shag anything it means you live in the moment, have some fun, with the premise of if we get on, on all levels, you know i would prefer not to have one offs....this way you wont feel so hurt/ disappointed..just enjoy the encounters youd like to have for what they are..if that changes awesome, if it doesnt last you enjoyed what you had..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have one, we clicked straight away. We have had to work at it though and iron out a lot of differences. It not so simple and easy as you might think to get an FWB who you connect with.I haven't been able to find another as I haven't clicked with anyone else in over 2 years. XXX

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