FabSwingers.com forum: How should single guys word their initial message

By *helonewolf OP Man
over a year ago

Teesside

Hi all, I've noticed that I'm sending a fair few messages and they're either staying unread or getting deleted. Which is fair enough.

My question is how should single guys approach fems/couples? Loads of people say they don't want the boring "Hey, how are you?", "Enjoying the site", "Wanna meet" messages. But what kind of things should we be sending?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's simple really; read the profile, make the opening message relevant to the profile, talk to them like a human being and as a bonus add a face pic. The harsh reality is even then, guys are so outnumbered that it's luck that will you get you a meet. Good luck

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By *helonewolf OP Man
over a year ago

Teesside

Yeah I always read the profile and tend to include a face pic on the majority of messages (bit reluctant if the profile doesn't have any pics themselves)

Just wondered if there was anything else people were expecting?

I guess it's all about the luck of the draw like you say x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know you haven't asked for profile advice, but just thought I'd say I think it's a good profile. (Might be better to describe yourself as a man instead of a lad though...

)xx

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

There is no magic wording. Just include a non-stupid message with a face pic, and if the person you are sending it to likes the looks of you and your profile they may take things further.

If they don't like your face, no words will overcome that.

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By *tuartb1970Man
over a year ago

tunbridge wells

Easier said than done if the profile only has the briefest of descriptions or the old classic

" will fill in later"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a theory. I think all single guys should go "on-strike" for a week and not send any messages AT ALL.... I would love to see what happens....

of course there would be some strike breakers...(scabs!

).... but sometimes I wonder...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Easier said than done if the profile only has the briefest of descriptions or the old classic

" will fill in later""

You do have the option to choose not to message people....

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Easier said than done if the profile only has the briefest of descriptions or the old classic

" will fill in later"

You do have the option to choose not to message people...."

Exactly. Why would you be messaging someone with that as their profile? Common sense should tell you it will be a 99.99% chance you are wasting your own time.

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By *tuartb1970Man
over a year ago

tunbridge wells

"Easier said than done if the profile only has the briefest of descriptions or the old classic

" will fill in later"

You do have the option to choose not to message people....

Exactly. Why would you be messaging someone with that as their profile? Common sense should tell you it will be a 99.99% chance you are wasting your own time."

Never said I have messaged those sort of profiles just using them as an example

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree there should be a week hiatus where males cannot use the message facility, let the ladies wander and make an informed choice, also will give the ladies a chance to refresh thier jnbox, the sites not tired, it's just a bit same old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the laziest, most uninspiring messages I've received, have been from couples.

Last one was a shame, because the profile (and veri's) looked reasonable - but if you can't manage more than 3 letters of txt-speak, then the conversation will be tedious.

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By *helonewolf OP Man
over a year ago

Teesside

"I know you haven't asked for profile advice, but just thought I'd say I think it's a good profile. (Might be better to describe yourself as a man instead of a lad though...

)xx"

Ooh thanks. On it like a car bonnet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What to do? Compose a version of War and Peace or just say hello with an accompanying sentence?

It matters not a jot unless it has a clear face picture!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all, I've noticed that I'm sending a fair few messages and they're either staying unread or getting deleted. Which is fair enough.

Umm

Title any messages "To whom it may concern"

Start from your first childhood memory and slowly but surely progress to the first time you got to savour on a fresh waffle!

Dont forget to mention you current & past job's, bitch about your ex, mention politics as wel

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

Write like you would speak to someone you have just met in a supermarket, gym, car park or the police station...

The profile is the subject just like poor service, the beautiful vegs, dead pay machines would be in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/16 15:44:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to write a whole novel tailored to her profile and hope for the best lol.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

OP the message is important but so is your profile. It looks good to me and no cock pics

What women/couples do, and this is recorded in the Forums, is see the message and then look at the profile.

If the profile doesn't look good/right to us then the message is irrelevant. Many then ignore or delete.

Personally I reply to all my messages which means I also read them all.

A decent one is clearly not a copy and paste message.

It should show, without a shadow of a doubt, that you have read the profile and that you believe you will match. If you don't match then stay away.

Always include a face pic, as you do and that's a pretty good start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never say too much as it's irrelevant anyway if they don't like your profile. Just a polite hello and a pic usually.

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By *bsolute LibertinesCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"It's simple really; read the profile, make the opening message relevant to the profile, talk to them like a human being and as a bonus add a face pic. The harsh reality is even then, guys are so outnumbered that it's luck that will you get you a meet. Good luck

This.... though understand that people might not want to send face pic to a stranger at first...reading our profile and messaging both of us is way forward, at least will gain a thank you reply if not for us...

But the amount of three word messages we get is high.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I never say too much as it's irrelevant anyway if they don't like your profile. Just a polite hello and a pic usually. "

Just "Hello/Hi" is not enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never say too much as it's irrelevant anyway if they don't like your profile. Just a polite hello and a pic usually.

Just "Hello/Hi" is not enough

Agreed. If you saw how many "hi, how are you?" messages women and couples receive, you'd realise why so many go unanswered. I have a rule that I reply to every "proper" message...."hi", is not one...

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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago

north kensington w10

"There is no magic wording. Just include a non-stupid message with a face pic, and if the person you are sending it to likes the looks of you and your profile they may take things further.

If they don't like your face, no words will overcome that."

Yes in my opinion profile don't make any difference it's just an excuse really it's all about looks unfortunately on here.

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By *icebuttnaughty4uMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Doesnt seem to matter what you write. Long/short. Ive spent half hour composing mails for them not to be even read or just deleted. Just getting a browse is an achievemwnt in itself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no magic wording. Just include a non-stupid message with a face pic, and if the person you are sending it to likes the looks of you and your profile they may take things further.

If they don't like your face, no words will overcome that.

Yes in my opinion profile don't make any difference it's just an excuse really it's all about looks unfortunately on here.

1. Do you really think people want to have sex with those they're not attracted to?

2. Everyone has a different opinion on what they find attractive anyway

3. The amount of women looking for a good social click before playing is really high! So for *some* it's "all" about the looks (entirely fair. Their choice to play how they wish to) but for many others it isn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never say too much as it's irrelevant anyway if they don't like your profile. Just a polite hello and a pic usually.

Just "Hello/Hi" is not enough

Agreed. If you saw how many "hi, how are you?" messages women and couples receive, you'd realise why so many go unanswered. I have a rule that I reply to every "proper" message...."hi", is not one..."

I should have clarified I didn't mean literally just say "Hello" but say hello as in introduce yourself as you would in any walk of life and let them know who you are and what you are about. I wouldn't expect any responses if I just went around messaging "Hi" to people. Point I was trying to make is that in my experience your profile and pics are more important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never say too much as it's irrelevant anyway if they don't like your profile. Just a polite hello and a pic usually.

Just "Hello/Hi" is not enough

Agreed. If you saw how many "hi, how are you?" messages women and couples receive, you'd realise why so many go unanswered. I have a rule that I reply to every "proper" message...."hi", is not one...

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By *00ki3Man
over a year ago

Oswestry, Shropshire

Agree at lasses messages, but it's 70% to 30% guys anyhow. so my tip is don't be so eager bud, the best angels come to those who wait and I'm in no rush. You see lasses everyday in supermarkets, work etc chat them up make them laugh ..Good luck

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By *PLNORTHERNCouple
over a year ago

wakefield

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I very rarely initiate messages. Makes my fab experience a bit easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a theory. I think all single guys should go "on-strike" for a week and not send any messages AT ALL.... I would love to see what happens....

of course there would be some strike breakers...(scabs!

).... but sometimes I wonder..."

Us women would message the guys .. of course then perhaps see how diffcult it would be to get a meet. But something tells me it wouldnt be any problem at all lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Easier said than done if the profile only has the briefest of descriptions or the old classic

" will fill in later""

I wouldnt entertain them anyway if it was so limited in words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chatty and friendly, perferably without boasting about how good they are would be nice lol

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By *ime 2 CumCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

1) Read the profile

2) Please say more than "Hi"

3) "wanna meet now" = refer to 1)

4) A side note, please have more than cock pics on your profile

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By *itten316Woman
over a year ago

Queens Park, LONDON

I don't reply if the message & then profile doesn't interest me. But then it clearly says that on my profile. It also clearly states what I'm looking for. But that doesn't seem to stop most guys either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't message first... It works from my experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe because is a swinging site,the guys think we don't have self respect!

Just today was speaking with this guy! And on second message he asked,so when can I fuck you?

When I challenged him,he said but this is a swinging site.I blocked him straight away!I am not a piece of meat!

I know is an adult site,but is not in those terms!

Honestly annoys me also when they ask me for the 20th time,how fab is treating you?

I do appreciate when a guy introduces himself and tells me a bit about him. Guys want to start conversation with I want to fuck you and don't even ask my name!

So I don't take it any further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not wait for them to message you......a fair chance your reply will get an answer back from them.....there you go...simples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't change your thoughts, way you are etc... Whatever tactic you chose, just be genuine, the right ladies will seek u out

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