FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

A couple's advice to single males!!

Jump to newest
 

By *hrisANtif OP   Couple
over a year ago

Napoli, Italy

As anyone who trawls these forums regularly will know, we see a steady stream of posts from single guys asking for help and advice in getting started in the world of swinging, improving their profiles, or maximising their and chances of finding a meet.

As a young couple who enjoy the company of single males, we wanted to try and capture much of the advice we have given out and which we have seen from swinging friends and other couples, in a single post to help give single guys the best chance of reaping the benefits this site has to offer.

We do of course recognise that some or all of this advice may not be applicable to every couple on this site, and certainly no offence or disrespect is intended to any couple who completely disagree with what any of the points below:

1. The most important thing we think to remember is to recognise you are selling in a buyers market!! There are an awful lot of guys on this site you are in competition with and many couple and single females get a hell of a lot of messages every day from single guys. It is important then to make yourself stand out and avoid being just another generic guy.

2. Pics! Because of the number of guys that message, many couples will not even entertain messages which are not accompanied by a face pic on first contact. Even if your profile has public face pics, attach them to your message anyway as the number of messages many couples receive means they often don't take the time to search profiles for pics. You will find it exceptionally difficult to find a meet without a face pic, and Messages telling us how you could "never even put private pics on fab because you are "so important"" very rarely fly with most people!

3. Make your message standout! Most couples on this site get inundated with messages, the vast majority of which will be generic one-liners which read something like "hey, hows you guys" or "fancie some fun?" Or simply "wanna fuck?" These sort of messages do little to inspire most couples. If you are interested in a couple, tell them abit about yourself, make them interested in you too! Also, take the time to actually read their profile, and to see what it is they're looking for then reference this in your first contact. Tell the couple what you liked about their profile, If you have similar interests, tell them that too! Finally, if messaging a couple, for god sake address it that way! It should not even need to be said that when messaging a couple, "hey babe" is not a particularly appropriate way to begin, and is highly unlikely to stand the rest of your message in good stead!

4. Following on from that, take the time to fill in your own profile!!! If a couple is intrigued by your first message, the next thing they will probably do is check your profile! Profiles with one line of text do little to inspire most people to delve deeper. If you can't think of more than a few words to say about yourself then to us it seems like you must be a pretty boring person to be honest! As for profiles which simply say "fill in later" fine, message us later!!!

5. Further to points 3 & 4, learn to spell! Or use a device with a spell checker! Badly spelt, badly written messages are a bug-bear of many couples we have spoken too! If a message badly written enough it is hard to understand, many couples will not take the time to try and interpret what you meant but will instead likely delete and move on! Linked to that, txt talk is not attractive if you are over 13!

6. Be patient!! Many couples on here sometimes login separately, but most will still wish to show any messages of interest to their partner before replying. I cannot count the number of times one of us has read a message from a guy we have been genuinely interested in and planned to show to the other one, only to receive an abusive follow-up message 5 mins after reading the first one because we had not immediately replied! Needless to say, this results in an immediate blocking from us!

7. Be realistic in your expectations! There are people on this site who are simply looking to fuck as many people as they possibly can, and you can spot this by their profile! The vast majority of people however are not looking for this. The number of people (mainly guys unfortunately) who seem to think that just because a couple or female is on this site they will jump into bed with anyone is pretty astounding. If you are interested in a couples, check what they are looking for, check their age requirements before messaging. If you are slightly out and the couple doesn't have filters, it may be worth a message, if you are way out however, I would say it's probably best to move on.

This list is not exhaustive but we hope that other couple and females who enjoy the company of single guys will contribute to this thread with their own advice. Above all, don't be put off by the number of profiles which say they are not looking for single guys, or if you don't get immediate replies from the first few couples you message. There are plenty of couples and females out there who very much enjoy (or even prefer) the company of single guys! Patience and endeavour are the key to a long and successful swinging career!

Chris N' Tif xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As anyone who trawls these forums regularly will know, we see a steady stream of posts from single guys asking for help and advice in getting started in the world of swinging, improving their profiles, or maximising their and chances of finding a meet.

As a young couple who enjoy the company of single males, we wanted to try and capture much of the advice we have given out and which we have seen from swinging friends and other couples, in a single post to help give single guys the best chance of reaping the benefits this site has to offer.

We do of course recognise that some or all of this advice may not be applicable to every couple on this site, and certainly no offence or disrespect is intended to any couple who completely disagree with what any of the points below:

1. The most important thing we think to remember is to recognise you are selling in a buyers market!! There are an awful lot of guys on this site you are in competition with and many couple and single females get a hell of a lot of messages every day from single guys. It is important then to make yourself stand out and avoid being just another generic guy.

2. Pics! Because of the number of guys that message, many couples will not even entertain messages which are not accompanied by a face pic on first contact. Even if your profile has public face pics, attach them to your message anyway as the number of messages many couples receive means they often don't take the time to search profiles for pics. You will find it exceptionally difficult to find a meet without a face pic, and Messages telling us how you could "never even put private pics on fab because you are "so important"" very rarely fly with most people!

3. Make your message standout! Most couples on this site get inundated with messages, the vast majority of which will be generic one-liners which read something like "hey, hows you guys" or "fancie some fun?" Or simply "wanna fuck?" These sort of messages do little to inspire most couples. If you are interested in a couple, tell them abit about yourself, make them interested in you too! Also, take the time to actually read their profile, and to see what it is they're looking for then reference this in your first contact. Tell the couple what you liked about their profile, If you have similar interests, tell them that too! Finally, if messaging a couple, for god sake address it that way! It should not even need to be said that when messaging a couple, "hey babe" is not a particularly appropriate way to begin, and is highly unlikely to stand the rest of your message in good stead!

4. Following on from that, take the time to fill in your own profile!!! If a couple is intrigued by your first message, the next thing they will probably do is check your profile! Profiles with one line of text do little to inspire most people to delve deeper. If you can't think of more than a few words to say about yourself then to us it seems like you must be a pretty boring person to be honest! As for profiles which simply say "fill in later" fine, message us later!!!

5. Further to points 3 & 4, learn to spell! Or use a device with a spell checker! Badly spelt, badly written messages are a bug-bear of many couples we have spoken too! If a message badly written enough it is hard to understand, many couples will not take the time to try and interpret what you meant but will instead likely delete and move on! Linked to that, txt talk is not attractive if you are over 13!

6. Be patient!! Many couples on here sometimes login separately, but most will still wish to show any messages of interest to their partner before replying. I cannot count the number of times one of us has read a message from a guy we have been genuinely interested in and planned to show to the other one, only to receive an abusive follow-up message 5 mins after reading the first one because we had not immediately replied! Needless to say, this results in an immediate blocking from us!

7. Be realistic in your expectations! There are people on this site who are simply looking to fuck as many people as they possibly can, and you can spot this by their profile! The vast majority of people however are not looking for this. The number of people (mainly guys unfortunately) who seem to think that just because a couple or female is on this site they will jump into bed with anyone is pretty astounding. If you are interested in a couples, check what they are looking for, check their age requirements before messaging. If you are slightly out and the couple doesn't have filters, it may be worth a message, if you are way out however, I would say it's probably best to move on.

This list is not exhaustive but we hope that other couple and females who enjoy the company of single guys will contribute to this thread with their own advice. Above all, don't be put off by the number of profiles which say they are not looking for single guys, or if you don't get immediate replies from the first few couples you message. There are plenty of couples and females out there who very much enjoy (or even prefer) the company of single guys! Patience and endeavour are the key to a long and successful swinging career!

Chris N' Tif xxx

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gosh that's quite patronising

I wouldn't dream of telling others how to run their profile

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

,y advice to single men is never jump through hoops, ensure that you will be treated as an equal in any meet and don't make fab the be all and end all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gosh that's quite patronising

I wouldn't dream of telling others how to run their profile "

exactly my thoughts!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


",y advice to single men is never jump through hoops, ensure that you will be treated as an equal in any meet and don't make fab the be all and end all."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrisANtif OP   Couple
over a year ago

Napoli, Italy


"Gosh that's quite patronising

I wouldn't dream of telling others how to run their profile "

Key's in the title, advice!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you look at couple's and single women's profiles you'll find a lot of them fuck pretty much anything too. If you're talking numbers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wilight PaymentMan
over a year ago

Birstall


"As anyone who trawls these forums regularly will know, we see a steady stream of posts from single guys asking for help and advice in getting started in the world of swinging, improving their profiles, or maximising their and chances of finding a meet.

As a young couple who enjoy the company of single males, we wanted to try and capture much of the advice we have given out and which we have seen from swinging friends and other couples, in a single post to help give single guys the best chance of reaping the benefits this site has to offer.

We do of course recognise that some or all of this advice may not be applicable to every couple on this site, and certainly no offence or disrespect is intended to any couple who completely disagree with what any of the points below:

1. The most important thing we think to remember is to recognise you are selling in a buyers market!! There are an awful lot of guys on this site you are in competition with and many couple and single females get a hell of a lot of messages every day from single guys. It is important then to make yourself stand out and avoid being just another generic guy.

2. Pics! Because of the number of guys that message, many couples will not even entertain messages which are not accompanied by a face pic on first contact. Even if your profile has public face pics, attach them to your message anyway as the number of messages many couples receive means they often don't take the time to search profiles for pics. You will find it exceptionally difficult to find a meet without a face pic, and Messages telling us how you could "never even put private pics on fab because you are "so important"" very rarely fly with most people!

3. Make your message standout! Most couples on this site get inundated with messages, the vast majority of which will be generic one-liners which read something like "hey, hows you guys" or "fancie some fun?" Or simply "wanna fuck?" These sort of messages do little to inspire most couples. If you are interested in a couple, tell them abit about yourself, make them interested in you too! Also, take the time to actually read their profile, and to see what it is they're looking for then reference this in your first contact. Tell the couple what you liked about their profile, If you have similar interests, tell them that too! Finally, if messaging a couple, for god sake address it that way! It should not even need to be said that when messaging a couple, "hey babe" is not a particularly appropriate way to begin, and is highly unlikely to stand the rest of your message in good stead!

4. Following on from that, take the time to fill in your own profile!!! If a couple is intrigued by your first message, the next thing they will probably do is check your profile! Profiles with one line of text do little to inspire most people to delve deeper. If you can't think of more than a few words to say about yourself then to us it seems like you must be a pretty boring person to be honest! As for profiles which simply say "fill in later" fine, message us later!!!

5. Further to points 3 & 4, learn to spell! Or use a device with a spell checker! Badly spelt, badly written messages are a bug-bear of many couples we have spoken too! If a message badly written enough it is hard to understand, many couples will not take the time to try and interpret what you meant but will instead likely delete and move on! Linked to that, txt talk is not attractive if you are over 13!

6. Be patient!! Many couples on here sometimes login separately, but most will still wish to show any messages of interest to their partner before replying. I cannot count the number of times one of us has read a message from a guy we have been genuinely interested in and planned to show to the other one, only to receive an abusive follow-up message 5 mins after reading the first one because we had not immediately replied! Needless to say, this results in an immediate blocking from us!

7. Be realistic in your expectations! There are people on this site who are simply looking to fuck as many people as they possibly can, and you can spot this by their profile! The vast majority of people however are not looking for this. The number of people (mainly guys unfortunately) who seem to think that just because a couple or female is on this site they will jump into bed with anyone is pretty astounding. If you are interested in a couples, check what they are looking for, check their age requirements before messaging. If you are slightly out and the couple doesn't have filters, it may be worth a message, if you are way out however, I would say it's probably best to move on.

This list is not exhaustive but we hope that other couple and females who enjoy the company of single guys will contribute to this thread with their own advice. Above all, don't be put off by the number of profiles which say they are not looking for single guys, or if you don't get immediate replies from the first few couples you message. There are plenty of couples and females out there who very much enjoy (or even prefer) the company of single guys! Patience and endeavour are the key to a long and successful swinging career!

Chris N' Tif xxx

"

Great advice. Will definitely take this into consideration! Thank you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *punky-guyMan
over a year ago

Farnborough

Always put effort into my messages but they are rarely read, so how can you 'stand out' if no ones ever bother's to read your well composed master piece's ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

[Removed by poster at 29/09/16 22:26:28]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrisANtif OP   Couple
over a year ago

Napoli, Italy


"Always put effort into my messages but they are rarely read, so how can you 'stand out' if no ones ever bother's to read your well composed master piece's ?"

Its genuinely not easy. When we first joined we made a lot of effort to read and reply to every single message, even if it was a polite no thanks. Your profile says you used to be here as a couple so you probably know the problem with that is it becomes a full time occupation. For every message you rely to 3 more will arrive in your inbox because you're online. It becomes so much that we all miss out on good people without even knowing it. Twice now we have met really nice, genuine people in our local club and been told that we ignored a message off them on here actually quite mortifying for us both times and really made us feel bad!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With the exception of number 6, which is couple specific,I would say all points are relevant to men interested in meeting either women or couples. An all excellent advise.

My main advise to men wanting to play with an MF couple, is try and understand the dynamics, which is very different and more complex than one on one sex. It is a threeway relationship, but it is so easy to forget the husband, and this is where a lot of single men fall down. We often wonder why the man wants to play with us as opposed to a single lady. If he just wants to fuck a woman and will tolerate the husband being there that is not good. We look for these sort of clues in the profile and subsequent messaging. It's also important for the single man to find out what it is the couple want to get out of the experience, and how him as the person joining them can enhance there sex life.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Always put effort into my messages but they are rarely read, so how can you 'stand out' if no ones ever bother's to read your well composed master piece's ?"

Why do you think nobody reads your message? Between us, every message we receive gets read!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *all and ChainWoman
over a year ago

Truro

Yes, man up single males, and up your game plan, because let's face it, you're as common as flies on shit, so make sure you are the fly wearing the tux with the collins dictionary and thesaurus under one wing and a mat under the other, on which you can kneel and intone "I am not worthy".

Leaving aside those males who effectively make themselves unfuckable, there are a significant proportion of single males on here who do very nicely indeed thank you, speaking personally when I was a single male on here arranging and having meets wasn't an issue / problem.

It would be *wrong* to do what the OP's did and group a bunch of individuals, there are huge variations and varieties of single males, and every single niche has it's own corresponding seeker.

If your second hand cassette lape and vinyl record stand isn't doing well in the mnall at cribbs causeway, the answer isn't the claim it is a trendy pop up bistro, the answer is to move it to pop up fairs and car boots.

Taking "advice" from people on here is like asking a barber if you need a haircut.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 29/09/16 23:46:40]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"Always put effort into my messages but they are rarely read, so how can you 'stand out' if no ones ever bother's to read your well composed master piece's ?"

Is this a well composed message? I immediately spot three errors.

Sally

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

The ones who need the advice won't read it, and the ones who read the advice won't need it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be a c*nt

If you're not a c*nt you won't need any advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Always put effort into my messages but they are rarely read, so how can you 'stand out' if no ones ever bother's to read your well composed master piece's ?

Is this a well composed message? I immediately spot three errors.

Sally "

I can understand it. There are grammatical errors but it's not difficult to see past them to the meaning of the text.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gosh that's quite patronising

I wouldn't dream of telling others how to run their profile "

A lot of guys do ask though.

We think this is quite a good post because its positive and does sort of answer a regular question.

We don't know the OP so not "cliqueyly" (just made a word up) supporting them, we just think the advice is sound and has a positive reasoning.

But all of us are entitled to have our own viewpoint and varying opinions and thoughts are what makes the world interesting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Don't be a c*nt

If you're not a c*nt you won't need any advice

"

Best advice of them all

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a wonderful considerate gesture from a lovely couple (and one gorgeous lady )!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but......

Single guys first READ couples profile.......then if you like what they say and genuinely fit criteria instead of thinking they are just a potential fuck........

write a really well written and descriptive message, standing out and being sure to sell yourself and your USP (unique selling points).

Copy n paste it for future BUT change it a little before sending to individualise it to the specific couple?

We have message reply copy n pastes for "polite no thanks" for single makes who bother to read our profile, it saves lots of time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"As anyone who trawls these forums regularly will know, we see a steady stream of posts from single guys asking for help and advice in getting started in the world of swinging, improving their profiles, or maximising their and chances of finding a meet.

As a young couple who enjoy the company of single males, we wanted to try and capture much of the advice we have given out and which we have seen from swinging friends and other couples, in a single post to help give single guys the best chance of reaping the benefits this site has to offer.

We do of course recognise that some or all of this advice may not be applicable to every couple on this site, and certainly no offence or disrespect is intended to any couple who completely disagree with what any of the points below:

1. The most important thing we think to remember is to recognise you are selling in a buyers market!! There are an awful lot of guys on this site you are in competition with and many couple and single females get a hell of a lot of messages every day from single guys. It is important then to make yourself stand out and avoid being just another generic guy.

2. Pics! Because of the number of guys that message, many couples will not even entertain messages which are not accompanied by a face pic on first contact. Even if your profile has public face pics, attach them to your message anyway as the number of messages many couples receive means they often don't take the time to search profiles for pics. You will find it exceptionally difficult to find a meet without a face pic, and Messages telling us how you could "never even put private pics on fab because you are "so important"" very rarely fly with most people!

3. Make your message standout! Most couples on this site get inundated with messages, the vast majority of which will be generic one-liners which read something like "hey, hows you guys" or "fancie some fun?" Or simply "wanna fuck?" These sort of messages do little to inspire most couples. If you are interested in a couple, tell them abit about yourself, make them interested in you too! Also, take the time to actually read their profile, and to see what it is they're looking for then reference this in your first contact. Tell the couple what you liked about their profile, If you have similar interests, tell them that too! Finally, if messaging a couple, for god sake address it that way! It should not even need to be said that when messaging a couple, "hey babe" is not a particularly appropriate way to begin, and is highly unlikely to stand the rest of your message in good stead!

4. Following on from that, take the time to fill in your own profile!!! If a couple is intrigued by your first message, the next thing they will probably do is check your profile! Profiles with one line of text do little to inspire most people to delve deeper. If you can't think of more than a few words to say about yourself then to us it seems like you must be a pretty boring person to be honest! As for profiles which simply say "fill in later" fine, message us later!!!

5. Further to points 3 & 4, learn to spell! Or use a device with a spell checker! Badly spelt, badly written messages are a bug-bear of many couples we have spoken too! If a message badly written enough it is hard to understand, many couples will not take the time to try and interpret what you meant but will instead likely delete and move on! Linked to that, txt talk is not attractive if you are over 13!

6. Be patient!! Many couples on here sometimes login separately, but most will still wish to show any messages of interest to their partner before replying. I cannot count the number of times one of us has read a message from a guy we have been genuinely interested in and planned to show to the other one, only to receive an abusive follow-up message 5 mins after reading the first one because we had not immediately replied! Needless to say, this results in an immediate blocking from us!

7. Be realistic in your expectations! There are people on this site who are simply looking to fuck as many people as they possibly can, and you can spot this by their profile! The vast majority of people however are not looking for this. The number of people (mainly guys unfortunately) who seem to think that just because a couple or female is on this site they will jump into bed with anyone is pretty astounding. If you are interested in a couples, check what they are looking for, check their age requirements before messaging. If you are slightly out and the couple doesn't have filters, it may be worth a message, if you are way out however, I would say it's probably best to move on.

This list is not exhaustive but we hope that other couple and females who enjoy the company of single guys will contribute to this thread with their own advice. Above all, don't be put off by the number of profiles which say they are not looking for single guys, or if you don't get immediate replies from the first few couples you message. There are plenty of couples and females out there who very much enjoy (or even prefer) the company of single guys! Patience and endeavour are the key to a long and successful swinging career!

Chris N' Tif xxx

"

There are threads by ladies and couples who often say they can't find what they're looking for ...

I say it to everyone the same basic principles for profiles messaging and interacting on here are the same... So I'd say all advice (yours as well)e isn't gender specific it's advice that can be used by anyone ....

After all we're all trying to inform and attract others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has a single profile and a joint profile I can see both sides. I always write quite a lot, maybe sometimes too much and become boring. I'm always polite,and having seen the messages my wife receives, or our joint profile I shudder and wonder how some of these guys get any meets. I'd love to meet a couple, but don't feel I alone have enough to offer. I struggle to approach single ladies too, but just bite the bullet and don't take any rejections to heart

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth

We thought it was sound advice!!

The response from (most) single males sort of supports the need for this advice?

Well done OP xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some more good advice is to show your personality in the forums the never ending flirting helps greatly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The ones who need the advice won't read it, and the ones who read the advice won't need it."

Precisely.

This is the problem with these kind of posts.

The OP always ends up preaching to the choir...with the exception of a handful of knuckle-dragging uber-doms of course...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Irrespective of who reads it and who needs it the fact is it will vanish from the screen as it gets older and recedes into the past.

I know others have suggested a sticky post-that remains on the forums as a permanent source of helpful advice like this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My past experience with couples is I allways try to be the males friend as in a mate and use that as a key to be double teaming the lady not as just doing the lady as some has said i think lots of ladys would love the hubbys best friend or even brother to fuck them as a threesome but it would be awkward for some

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I think our advice to single guys would be, remember each one is different and likes and wants different things, so none of the advice above given by the OP relates to us. We don't get loads of messages every day and we both have single profiles on here, so we see how snooty and disrespectful some couples are to Mr and how smarmy they are to Mrs, on their single profiles. We avoid couples

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"My past experience with couples is I allways try to be the males friend as in a mate and use that as a key to be double teaming the lady not as just doing the lady as some has said i think lots of ladys would love the hubbys best friend or even brother to fuck them as a threesome but it would be awkward for some "

I'd love hubby and his best mate to tuck, that's for sure .... but he's not my type at all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well this is a bit patronising. Advice from a woman to couples - the attractive, socially competent men who you might actually want to fuck generally aren't prepared to jump through anyone's hoops or be treated as subservient to all of your needs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

A site with a lot of different folk who have a lot of different needs/desires/wants and who are looking for very different things..

Advice....not sure I am qualified with my track record! I think it all works itself out for all of us with a few tweeks etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Some good advice there OP, however the men on here who need it probably won't even read this, if they don't read profiles it's unlikely they bother to read the forums.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"Some good advice there OP, however the men on here who need it probably won't even read this, if they don't read profiles it's unlikely they bother to read the forums. "

That's true but there are SO many threads on the forums pleading for advice that this will be useful if only it could Tay up on the forum and not disappear in time....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well this is a bit patronising. Advice from a woman to couples - the attractive, socially competent men who you might actually want to fuck generally aren't prepared to jump through anyone's hoops or be treated as subservient to all of your needs. "

Our experience is the attractive socially competent men on Fab tend to conduct themselves this way anyway, and that why they do well on Fab. For us, we know what we expect, and men we meet treat us as we want to be treated. But we wouldn't dream of treating our men any less. I have heard that some couples do though.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Always put effort into my messages but they are rarely read, so how can you 'stand out' if no ones ever bother's to read your well composed master piece's ?

Is this a well composed message? I immediately spot three errors.

Sally "

Right...100 lines immediately

'I must be perfect at all times'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"Some good advice there OP, however the men on here who need it probably won't even read this, if they don't read profiles it's unlikely they bother to read the forums.

That's true but there are SO many threads on the forums pleading for advice that this will be useful if only it could Tay up on the forum and not disappear in time...."

Yeah a sticky post of this type would be good to stay at the top of the forum, basic advice for single guys especially newbies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Carver-Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"As anyone who trawls these forums regularly will know, we see a steady stream of posts from single guys asking for help and advice in getting started in the world of swinging, improving their profiles, or maximising their and chances of finding a meet.

As a young couple who enjoy the company of single males, we wanted to try and capture much of the advice we have given out and which we have seen from swinging friends and other couples, in a single post to help give single guys the best chance of reaping the benefits this site has to offer.

We do of course recognise that some or all of this advice may not be applicable to every couple on this site, and certainly no offence or disrespect is intended to any couple who completely disagree with what any of the points below:

1. The most important thing we think to remember is to recognise you are selling in a buyers market!! There are an awful lot of guys on this site you are in competition with and many couple and single females get a hell of a lot of messages every day from single guys. It is important then to make yourself stand out and avoid being just another generic guy.

2. Pics! Because of the number of guys that message, many couples will not even entertain messages which are not accompanied by a face pic on first contact. Even if your profile has public face pics, attach them to your message anyway as the number of messages many couples receive means they often don't take the time to search profiles for pics. You will find it exceptionally difficult to find a meet without a face pic, and Messages telling us how you could "never even put private pics on fab because you are "so important"" very rarely fly with most people!

3. Make your message standout! Most couples on this site get inundated with messages, the vast majority of which will be generic one-liners which read something like "hey, hows you guys" or "fancie some fun?" Or simply "wanna fuck?" These sort of messages do little to inspire most couples. If you are interested in a couple, tell them abit about yourself, make them interested in you too! Also, take the time to actually read their profile, and to see what it is they're looking for then reference this in your first contact. Tell the couple what you liked about their profile, If you have similar interests, tell them that too! Finally, if messaging a couple, for god sake address it that way! It should not even need to be said that when messaging a couple, "hey babe" is not a particularly appropriate way to begin, and is highly unlikely to stand the rest of your message in good stead!

4. Following on from that, take the time to fill in your own profile!!! If a couple is intrigued by your first message, the next thing they will probably do is check your profile! Profiles with one line of text do little to inspire most people to delve deeper. If you can't think of more than a few words to say about yourself then to us it seems like you must be a pretty boring person to be honest! As for profiles which simply say "fill in later" fine, message us later!!!

5. Further to points 3 & 4, learn to spell! Or use a device with a spell checker! Badly spelt, badly written messages are a bug-bear of many couples we have spoken too! If a message badly written enough it is hard to understand, many couples will not take the time to try and interpret what you meant but will instead likely delete and move on! Linked to that, txt talk is not attractive if you are over 13!

6. Be patient!! Many couples on here sometimes login separately, but most will still wish to show any messages of interest to their partner before replying. I cannot count the number of times one of us has read a message from a guy we have been genuinely interested in and planned to show to the other one, only to receive an abusive follow-up message 5 mins after reading the first one because we had not immediately replied! Needless to say, this results in an immediate blocking from us!

7. Be realistic in your expectations! There are people on this site who are simply looking to fuck as many people as they possibly can, and you can spot this by their profile! The vast majority of people however are not looking for this. The number of people (mainly guys unfortunately) who seem to think that just because a couple or female is on this site they will jump into bed with anyone is pretty astounding. If you are interested in a couples, check what they are looking for, check their age requirements before messaging. If you are slightly out and the couple doesn't have filters, it may be worth a message, if you are way out however, I would say it's probably best to move on.

This list is not exhaustive but we hope that other couple and females who enjoy the company of single guys will contribute to this thread with their own advice. Above all, don't be put off by the number of profiles which say they are not looking for single guys, or if you don't get immediate replies from the first few couples you message. There are plenty of couples and females out there who very much enjoy (or even prefer) the company of single guys! Patience and endeavour are the key to a long and successful swinging career!

Chris N' Tif xxx

"

Thanks for posting this!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iffraffMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

Good advice from the op and some interesting comments. I learnt very early on, thanks to a lovely couple who's profile they shared with me. I was amazed by most of the replies and can understand why ladies and couples sometimes get fed up with men.

However I still find it hard to meet because of the number of men here so this advice, if taken, will make it even harder

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranimallxl5Man
over a year ago

Winchester

My Mum said that the right lady will find me...years later still no sex.

Mums lie

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So women and couples get inundated with emails from men.

How do they feel with the emails? Delete all?

How does the one good email get noticed?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So women and couples get inundated with emails from men.

How do they feel with the emails? Delete all?

How does the one good email get noticed?"

Make it individual to the woman/couple you're messaging.

Reference the profile so you've shown that you actually read it.

Make sure before you even press send that you think you meet their criteria.

Send a couple of good, clear face pic's.

Have a decent profile, most recipients will read that before even reading the message.

Ultimately, if they don't fancy you of course, then all the great message content in the world won't help.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"So women and couples get inundated with emails from men.

How do they feel with the emails? Delete all?

How does the one good email get noticed?"

We don't get inundated so it means someone reads profiles. I always read them and let them know we aren't meeting at the moment. for the times when we are meeting, we let them know what clubs we are going to ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I suspect that those who would benefit from advice are those that won't think they need it and won't read the forums anyway.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So women and couples get inundated with emails from men.

How do they feel with the emails? Delete all?

How does the one good email get noticed?

Make it individual to the woman/couple you're messaging.

Reference the profile so you've shown that you actually read it.

Make sure before you even press send that you think you meet their criteria.

Send a couple of good, clear face pic's.

Have a decent profile, most recipients will read that before even reading the message.

Ultimately, if they don't fancy you of course, then all the great message content in the world won't help.

"

Yep do all that....hasn't worked so far

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So women and couples get inundated with emails from men.

How do they feel with the emails? Delete all?

How does the one good email get noticed?"

No we don't get inundated. One or two a day from new men. We read all.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inudated probably the wrong word.

From OP 'a hell of a lot. '.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *helonewolfMan
over a year ago

Teesside

Great advice. Btw fancy a meet?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top