FabSwingers.com forum: Hubby sneaking to clubs on his own

By *icecouple561 OP Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Do you feel its normal for your relationship? The answer to that is the only answer you need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think this is the best place for marriage advice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".....lying to me about where he is.

Is this normal?!

Only you would know that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh gosh that's shit for you OP but I really wouldn't post about it on here if I was you. You need to decide if your relationship is strong enough to sail through this or not. People make mistakes so you may feel that you can work it out with him but you need to talk it through together not on here. Big hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest that doing something without the other persons knowledge is wrong. You are on here as a couple so anything you do should be done as a couple or at least discussed and agreed if you each want individual play

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well reading your profile and you state he does most of the fabbing im guessing you have already confronted him or he will know you know pretty soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's anyone's place to judge.

If you're not happy with it then tell him don't ask others.

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By *amswingCouple
over a year ago

york

I have spoken to him about it, and his excuse was "cos I'm a dick".

I just wanted to know if this was normal... has it happened to anyone else before? Have any of you met a "single" guy at a club to discover he wasn't so single after all...?

I'm not asking for marriage advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it's not normal behavior if he's lying to you about it.

I don't think this is the right place for this, though. No matter how angry you might be right now. Go talk to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only normal if it's normal for your relationship. Usually if you are a couple then each would let the other know their intentions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Normal? He is lying and doing stuff behind your back!Can you smell the coffee?

Trust is extremely important in a relationship!

I am sorry bit isn't acceptable and you must to raise your standards!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/16 18:58:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a chat. Find out what he wants to do. Ask why he didn't feel able to discuss it with you. Have a think about what's acceptable to you. Also think about if there are any freedoms that you would like, and if that would be acceptable to him. Freedom goes both ways after all. Then set some ground rules.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have spoken to him about it, and his excuse was "cos I'm a dick".

I just wanted to know if this was normal... has it happened to anyone else before? Have any of you met a "single" guy at a club to discover he wasn't so single after all...?

I'm not asking for marriage advice."
many times.... It is common place but it doesn't make it normal. People cheat in the swinging world and normal life....

Hope it is all okay.. only you can decide where you go from here.. lack of trust can be hard to rebuild but not impossible.. good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have spoken to him about it, and his excuse was "cos I'm a dick".

I just wanted to know if this was normal... has it happened to anyone else before? Have any of you met a "single" guy at a club to discover he wasn't so single after all...?

I'm not asking for marriage advice."

At least he's honest. I would hazzard a guess that it's normal among people whose other halfs no nothing of thier profile but for a swinging couple who both sides are in it togther I would guess it's abnormal. Why would he lie to you when I assume you have both already discussed your boundaries. Xxx

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By *bwmasterukMan
over a year ago

derby

Why would he Want to go to a club on his own when he has you what a fool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wether he's a dick or not (his words) it's wrong to sneak around without your knowledge but if he had asked you if he could go solo would u have let him

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By *hrisANtifCouple
over a year ago

Napoli, Italy

There are 2 possibilities:

1. you're fine with it, in which case he had no reason not to tell you except that he thought you wouldn't be fine with it, this makes him a cunt.

2. you're not fine with it and he knows that, this also makes him a cunt.

Basically, he's a cunt! And he doesn't deserve you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd be more concerned about why he felt the needed to do it behind your back. He has a beautiful wife who is open to the swinging lifestyle. Is that not enough for him? His assessment that he 'was a dick' is an understatement. No OP it is not 'normal'. It is selfish behaviour and he is cheating pure and simple. If a man can't be honest with his swinging partner, where openness and sharing is enouraged then he doesn't deserve you.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

There are so many scenarios about the lack of detail and context. Think there are only two people who can answer that. If it's cuckqueen.... If it a swinging agreement... If it's a look at me.... If it's a.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to decide how you move on from this. But in my experience it's normal for a guy to cheat. Even on here. I admire the ones that aren't. I know they exist too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do we know this is Jolene?

It might be Andy pretending once again

Just a thought

Both of them come out of it looking awful. I mean seriously, who disses their spouse on social media like this, is a bit of sympathy from strangers really more important than marriage

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"You have to decide how you move on from this. But in my experience it's normal for a guy to cheat. Even on here. I admire the ones that aren't. I know they exist too "

Wow that was a gross generalisation, for guys to cheat. I wouldn't be on here if that was the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do we know this is Jolene?

It might be Andy pretending once again

Just a thought

You think far too much woman!

xxx

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

is it a gay club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well he's being dishonest so I'd ask him why and would he mind if you did it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do we know this is Jolene?

It might be Andy pretending once again

Just a thought

Both of them come out of it looking awful. I mean seriously, who disses their spouse on social media like this, is a bit of sympathy from strangers really more important than marriage

Sometimes if you haven't got anyone to talk to the forums might be the only place people can turn too.

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By *alldarkhandsomedaveMan
over a year ago

Derby

Random

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

having looked at your pix ive no idea why he would want play without you..very strange behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At end of day we can all put in our two pence but op u need to decide what step u take next we cant decide that and we can't advise you as we are not u but I hope u are strong and will do what is right for u and are happy with your choice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably commonplace amongst men and women. I wouldn't know about normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys,

It's Jolene here.

I've found out that Andy has been going to a club called Quest in Leeds on his own. Posing as a single guy.... and lying to me about where he is.

Is this normal?!

He has steak at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do we know this is Jolene?

It might be Andy pretending once again

Just a thought

Both of them come out of it looking awful. I mean seriously, who disses their spouse on social media like this, is a bit of sympathy from strangers really more important than marriage

Sometimes if you haven't got anyone to talk to the forums might be the only place people can turn too.

If that's the case then they have bigger problems than a cheating partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to decide how you move on from this. But in my experience it's normal for a guy to cheat. Even on here. I admire the ones that aren't. I know they exist too

Wow that was a gross generalisation, for guys to cheat. I wouldn't be on here if that was the case."

Like I say. My experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe,and I'm plucking reasons from the air here,he feels less restricted on his own. Going alone means he doesn't have to run anything past you kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people are posting advice so I'm not sure what I can add, but as a married man, the only reason I'd be heading to a club on my own is to have sex without my wife. Whether or not I'd succeed in that is by the by - the intention is there.

In my relationship, this isn't normal. In my relationship I'd be given the boot the second she found out.

A few people have already talked about trust - and that's important. But I've known a couple of people who've found out from situations like this that they actually quite like the thought of their partner sneaking off to clubs and meets to get some side action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile says you don't play on your own, is that you that prefers not to, I'm guessing you're not ok with it and he wants to.

Think you've got some difficult conversations and hard decisions ahead.

From what you've said he sounds like he's cheating. Whatever you decide dont be pushed into doing anything you don't want to do.

Can you trust him again? Sometine trust can be reguilt, but he will have to recognise that he has done wrong and want to be different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to decide how you move on from this. But in my experience it's normal for a guy to cheat. Even on here. I admire the ones that aren't. I know they exist too

Wow that was a gross generalisation, for guys to cheat. I wouldn't be on here if that was the case."

Thanks for that, just make single mens swinging lives harder than they already are.

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By *ouple4biMMFCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I would suggest that doing something without the other persons knowledge is wrong. You are on here as a couple so anything you do should be done as a couple or at least discussed and agreed if you each want individual play

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I bet there's plenty of ladies who do same so let's not tarnish all men with that brush as I onow a few ladies who's other half isn't aware of their activities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I bet there's plenty of ladies who do same so let's not tarnish all men with that brush as I onow a few ladies who's other half isn't aware of their activities "

Bet there really isn't and we bet you don't know LOADS of ladies that do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one of us did this (and we won't) we'd come off fab immediately because trust is massive when it comes to swinging and it would be totally gone,we would spend all our time wondering rather than enjoying the experience.....our thoughts only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I bet there's plenty of ladies who do same so let's not tarnish all men with that brush as I onow a few ladies who's other half isn't aware of their activities

Bet there really isn't and we bet you don't know LOADS of ladies that do "
actually to be fair i do know a fair amount of ladies that happily admit that they are doing just that... on a recent visit. 5 ladies were telling me how their hubby had no idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I bet there's plenty of ladies who do same so let's not tarnish all men with that brush as I onow a few ladies who's other half isn't aware of their activities

Bet there really isn't and we bet you don't know LOADS of ladies that do actually to be fair i do know a fair amount of ladies that happily admit that they are doing just that... on a recent visit. 5 ladies were telling me how their hubby had no idea."

From a couples profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I bet there's plenty of ladies who do same so let's not tarnish all men with that brush as I onow a few ladies who's other half isn't aware of their activities "

I don't meet women so women playing away don't mail me

I can only comment from my own experiences and I do know loads of men do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Classic case of having your cake, eating it, fucking the baker and expecting to come away with a doggy bag. Some people are never happy with what they have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So we established both sexes are guilty of it lets leave it at that x

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

He's a member of the site as well so may well not appreciate being discussed in the forums.

Ive removed the OP and Im closing this now sorry

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