FabSwingers.com forum: Bi guy receiving anal , where's the pleasure HELP

By *bwmasteruk OP Man
over a year ago

derby

Hey all

I'm in need of some advice regarding anal receiving it , basically I've had 2 experiences once a few years back with an older guy he was average size after about ten minutes I had to plead with the guy to stop as it was hurting , he did say after for a newbie I took it perfect but he left disappointed and I felt like I let him down

And the. Tonite I met 2 guys both older again one average other larger so average guy had me first being sensible but he orgasmed quickly so was the next guys turn but again after about 5 minutes I had to ask him to stop he wasn't happy at all and called me a time waster which I am not , I dressed for them as they asked me to , so know I'm sat here basque thrown in corner looking like a panda wondering where the hell is the pleasure in anal ? Is there any ? I've given it before and hard and deep and people have loved it so what's the secret ??

Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think op you need to relax a bit op i think youre worrying about it hurting.

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

You need to be relaxed, and use LOTS of lube

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

if you're not enjoying something stop doing it is my motto.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair any decent top would work u up properly first. Lots of rimming and fingering. Getting you relaxed. U should always take it either sitting on it where ur in cintrol or face down arse up. Plus poppers help relax a bit.

Bad tops

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Sounds like you need to meet someone with a little more patience who will take it nice and slow for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Calling you a time waster after having his dick up your arse

loooooool

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By *iverscuMan
over a year ago

Berkshire

As someone looking forward to my first time, id hate to meet people like that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To many people either put pressure on themselves or on others. Sex is a mutual thing. Its just as hirny getting someone else off as much as yourself. Would be a disaster if everyone was all stressed out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O.K - I've recived anal sex from another guy before, and found it O.K, and something I might return to , but not just at the moment.

OP - Anal sex might not be for you. The amount of men (and women) who don't find pleasure in anal stuff is huge, and it does not make them sexual failures.

But as other posters have said you have to choose your sexual partners wisely sometimes to get the most out of sex, especially when pushing your boundaries.

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Hi, from your post its not clear how it became painful. One issue can be the lube 'drying out', especially when using relatively thin water based ones. This is why I prefer either a thick anal lube or to use a condom safe water/silicone hybred lube. I also find that pre-loading some lube internally using a lube shooter helps with this issue.

I find that the pleasure from anal is a mixture of physcological, from giving pleasure to another, and physical from the stimulation of the prostate and nerves especially around the sphincters. It can definately be a bit hit and miss and needs a top who is thinking of more than just thier own pleasure. Whilst other positions are often recommended to ease penetration I actually find I tend to get more pleasure when on my back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair any decent top would work u up properly first. Lots of rimming and fingering. Getting you relaxed. U should always take it either sitting on it where ur in cintrol or face down arse up. Plus poppers help relax a bit.

Bad tops "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first couple of times I found I could only take it for a few minutes.

You get used to it I think.

As already said; a good top will get you ready.

I tend to get on top and lower myself onto guys who are really big. I feel I can control it better and let my body get used to him.

Keep trying. When it's right it's was better than using your penis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mindset plays a huge part in enjoying anal sex, be relaxed, take it slow, and use plenty of good quality lube. Position also helps. Cow girl is good for being in control of pace

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Lols at "Bad tops"

I prefer to take than give, if I know I'm gonna be on the receiving end of anything bigger than a sparrow's cock I use plenty of lube and stick ma inflatable vibrating butt plug up there first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lube lube and more lube!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where about are you? I work in Manchester and would go slow and be careful.

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By *rs DCouple
over a year ago

far

"Calling you a time waster after having his dick up your arse

"
lollll made me giggle x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a fair bit of anal sex, but most guys I've just told to leave it before they are fully in because it's obvious they may cause damage through their ineptitude or lack of care. That came true with an idiot last year ramming home in two thrusts and I've had been unable to since because of high possibilty of tears.

Therefore I would really recommend as others say, to use good lube, lots of it, and lots of anal foreplay. If people won't give that then don't let them go there. Use your gut instinct and stop people when you know they don't know what they are doing. It will save you a lot of problems from injuries.

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By *oneythiefMan
over a year ago

Perthshire

"As someone looking forward to my first time, id hate to meet people like that!"

Shame we are not closer. With a cracking wee arse like that id be happy to show you the ropes and be yer first lol. The older the fiddle the better the tune as they say

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By *bwmasteruk OP Man
over a year ago

derby

Hi all

Thanks for the advice been really helpful and it's made me determined to try again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all

Thanks for the advice been really helpful and it's made me determined to try again

Might be worth investing in some buttplugs to wear before sex, that'll help loosen you up

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I agree with lots of other they sound like bad tops but also maybe anal isn't for you.

I would advise you get some toys and learn what works for your own body before expecting other to get it right too xx

I have always played with toys but being taken by a real man is on another level I assure you once you relax xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exit not entry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exit not entry "

Token negative comment from you. It was an entry for your ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exit not entry

Token negative comment from you. It was an entry for your ex

"
ok point taken and wont do it again.

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By *bi_scotlandTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

Plenty of lube and get them to start slowly and after a bit it should feel much more comfortable. You could also start off on top to control the pace and the depth of the penetration. Also use some toys when you're alone as practice.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all

Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha "

Definitely definitely find more understanding partners. I think if anyone said that to me they'd see the sharp side of my fist.

I find anal is only possible when you're extremely turned on as well as relaxed. I would say it's 70% psychological.

Do you ever use toys as a precursor? Loads and loads of play beforehand and not just bum - all erogenous zones.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

lots of guys dont really know how to fuck another guy and its also about communication , not rushing and lots of lube .. and if u can get some decent poppers even better

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By *nkySwitchTV/TS
over a year ago

Stirling

Bad tops "

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By *nkySwitchTV/TS
over a year ago

Stirling

Bad tops "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's your body. you're not a time waster if you want to stop at any point.

hope you're ok.

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By *mmacdheelsTV/TS
over a year ago

France, Not in

As a new receiver I think you have just been unlucky to over do it by having a long stayer and then going for a double.

There is fabulous pleasure in receiving anal sex and I think you experienced that with the first guy in your double date. But as with everything its a case of going easy until you are experienced and as everybody says used lots of lube and then even more lube.

I would strongly say you need to stick to one guy at a time until you have had more experience. And yes, definitely get lots of practice with butt plugs and dildos so you get used to the guys that are long stayers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it's your body. you're not a time waster if you want to stop at any point.

hope you're ok."

This ^^^

What an absolute arsehole to call you a time waster. Pun intended. How dare he?! If you aren't comfortable with absolutely anything happening to YOUR body you have every right to say so!

As far as anal advice goes... I didn't enjoy my first couple of times either, i think it's the anxiety, it makes all the muscles there tighten. But then i met a guy who knew exactly what he was doing and he converted me, I love it now. So with the right person it might be the same for you? Certainly don't take this knobhead's reaction to heart, it says more about him than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree plenty of lube and build up to it I had my first experience Wednesday and the mans cock was big 8" long and thick it did hurt like a bastard for the first five minutes then I relaxed and got into it. I did try on top but my legs are very short and found it hurt more so I lay on my belly and he got on top two hours later I was grinning like a kid in a candy shop I will defo try it again. Legs up over his shoulders was heaven. Still throbbing a bit today lol 3 days later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There definitely is pleasure in receiving anal sex! But as most have already said, you've got to learn to relax 'it'. Play about with it yourself, start with a finger, then two. Get yourself a dildo to practice with. Always use plenty of lube and take your time.

Never just take it for someone else's pleasure!

Me and my wife love playing with my arse, dildo, strap on!!

And the evidence of pleasure? I can have multiple orgasms from it, then an almighty one when I finally cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I,'ve stopped doing anal, I find it painful sometimes.Men don't use lube, I don't think they have ever heard of it. XXX

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Try using fingers or a toy on yourself for practice and use plenty of lube. You can take it at your own pace and tickle your prostate whilst you're about it. Relax into it and see what happens.

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I,'ve stopped doing anal, I find it painful sometimes.Men don't use lube, I don't think they have ever heard of it. XXX"

The number who go from vaginal to anal sex thinking that just because you're wet means they have plenty of "lube" on them already is ridiculous.

That is when the sub in me switches off and I take definitely obvious control of what is going on. I'm not nasty about it but I make it clear that we are stopping for lube before he goes any further.

If I know we are going to do anal beforehand I will lube myself up but keep an eye on it because the lube can dry out too quickly sometimes.

OP if you want to carry on you need to take control of preparation (internal and external lube beforehand) and practicing beforehand to find out what works for you and positions that give you control so that when you meet a guy you can use them to find out how the guys feel inside you, because they aren't all going to feel the same and some, no matter what they do, are going to hurt if you leave them to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The key is nice and slowly and plenty of lube and work up. I started with small toys, then a small cock and now end up pushing back wanting more. But for me any bigger than 7" and can hurt. But 6" and I love it but have taken 10" strapon which felt massive. And she let me have it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find regular play with toys helps when the time is right and doesn't take much foreplay before you relax when required. I good top should always check your body is ready before going for it. Getting caught in the excitement!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

For every one, of any gender or sexuality, the important thing is getting the right partner. And then communicate.

To learn to bottom, I'd suggest that you indulge in some solo play using toys.

And appreciate that just because someone else loves something, it doesn't mean that everyone will. Some gay men apparently don't like anal sex, either giving or receiving. And there are some who just like one of those.

Choose the right partner - the personality, their interests, experience and physical characteristics. And probably forget about taking on two or more guys in the same session until you have experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just take your time as this cannot be rushed... use a thin dildo first. . And it has to be at least six inches...it does take a few goes so don't worry. I have to admit the shape of a persons cock makes so much difference too..

Im a sex therapist and know my stuff...if you need any further help message me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The older the fiddler the better the tune as they say

Great expression.

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By *bwmasteruk OP Man
over a year ago

derby

Would like to thank everyone for there support and advice given much appreciated

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By *overWantedMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 28/09/16 06:51:48]

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By *overWantedMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Let me know how you get on. We could have both taken turns taking.

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By *overWantedMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 28/09/16 07:38:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree witb everything said already.

One thing I'd point out that no one else seems to have said, is to douche before it!! Not only is it nicer for the guy giving, as they are unlikely to pull out with a poo covered condom! But its more comfortable usually, as there is no fecal matter in the way!

Practice with an average sized dildo, try a couple of lubes and see what feels best, then always use the one you like the most. I find silicone lubes to thin, ky drys out to fast, but the blue Wet lube is great (pretty much everyone I know who does anal play uses it)

Hope that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really wanted to experience being pegged. Finally got lucky. But all I could feel was the urge to pee ! I couldn't escape it. Is that normal ? Do I have to 'learn' to get past that ? Or is that the sensation I'm supposed to be enjoying ? I'd been building up this excitement for ages, then felt like a real let down for the lady doing it. She didn't care though too much. She loved having that power over me, even if it was short lived ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never felt the urge to pee. Sometimes it feels a little like a number two may happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Calling you a time waster after having his dick up your arse

loooooool "

This made me giggle

hehe!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all

Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha "

I think you got a shitty deal there, so to speak. As others have said, don't beat yourself up about it; it either isn't for you or, and this is important as it reinforces why you're not the problem, you may just need to find a partner who can get you to the place where you need to be to enjoy it. I love being fucked, but need to be ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

get some good lube we like Give Lube, Super Thick Anal Lube

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"get some good lube we like Give Lube, Super Thick Anal Lube

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By *ymruambythCouple
over a year ago

grantham

Anal sex should NEVER be painful if it's done correctly.

The key is plenty of lube, and preparation - not only to make sure you are clean (it reduces anxiety) but also it helps to use a toy to gradually stretch the area.

During the sex itself, the key is to start slowly, and if a little uncomfortable to pause (without pushing further) for a few seconds before continuing. Never be afraid to use even more lube too.

I personally love it, but as with anything you can have so-so experiences too. For me any kind of anal play is more about the act being the turn on rather than just pleasure BUT if the spot is hit just right then it is a really amazing feeling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

start slow , gentle, never say no to lube and always keep it within reach! its not a competition, some think with their cock , you have to listen to your body,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep relaxing is a must, so is plenty of lube and would be better if you sat on his cock so you have plenty of control, if he's not satisfied with that tell him to fuck of its your arse. Eventually when you get better at it you will be taking it as deep as You want and be massaging his cock with your arse muscles, bugger

I'm all excited now

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By *hor ThumbMan
over a year ago

bristol

"Hey all

Or if there's an older guy up for giving me another go I'm staying in Sheffield in a hotel drop me a line if you can show me how it's done ha "
guys can be dicks!. Ive enjoyed anal with one or 2 guys, with my missus and doing it to myself....so its them doing it wrong, not the act itself. Get that basque on and hold that head up xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My parnter has no issues in fact he physically ejaculates (though as you can see in profile picture it is a beast) our preparation is a good warm wash out , poppers (relaxation is key) and we warm the strapon in hot water...Obviously real cocks are warm anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am Bisexual and whilst until fairly recent, I would class myself as "top" only ie; give - but now enjoy receiving cock in right circumstances

Its absolutely no different than anal sex with your wife/gf , it needs to been done with some pre in mind ie; douche clean and fresh - but accept that "accidents2 can happen

in regards to the original OP questions - pre is even more vital for newbies - plenty of lube and lots of pre fucking stroking to relax you

Happy anal sexing peeps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use oil based lube !

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