FabSwingers.com forum: Feels like...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

I've been here in three incarnations (yeah, yeah, I have a tantrum over something on the forum and leave and come back), and met probably twelve guys, had sex with two. But only one of those men has really satisfied me and that was the first one I met and the first one I had sex with.

I've chatted with lots, and to start with its all great, but then they say something and I think whoa! No way so I want that. For instance, telling me about a previous meet and how she was so beautiful, immaculate nails, business suit etc., 'so fucking horny' and I immediately think, fuck, my nails are shit - I have a horse, I wouldn't wear a suit if you paid me, I'm not beautiful. Why do guys have to do that? Or it's about how horny it is to cum on a woman's face, call her a filthy bitch. I don't want that, I want to be looked after in bed. Yeah, slap my arse, but don't make me feel bad, degraded for loving sex. I don't want a relationship,(and I suspect it's very the same on a dating site anyway) but it'd be so nice to have a man care about me in bed.

Fuck it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think about it, you are asking for a guy with feelings, who understands the way women think, who doesnt think with his cock and who cares about your feelings.

But...... alongside this , you want him to be great in bed and give you the time of your life......with no strings.

tall order

maybe settle for a good book and your rabbit

Sugar x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Think about it, you are asking for a guy with feelings, who understands the way women think, who doesnt think with his cock and who cares about your feelings.

But...... alongside this , you want him to be great in bed and give you the time of your life......with no strings.

tall order

maybe settle for a good book and your rabbit

Sugar x"

Yeah, thanks for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously

everyone on here thinks everyone else is having a better time than them.

just enjoy yourself, keep yourself safe and have some fun.

Sometimes its best not to look into things too deeply

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By *ambscouple2015Couple
over a year ago

Not in Wisbech but near

I have to disagree with you as you are beautiful with a fantastic smile and enchanting eyes and if I was closer,a non smoker, good looking, the rugby type and single I would have sent you a message.

Am Sure you will find someone who fits your needs but you may have to sort through a lot of chaff before you find the wheat on here. (hope I got that saying right otherwise I will look even more of a fool

)

Mr CC

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Speaking as the male half of the couple, I don't understand how anyone could behave like that either before or during a meet and hope for it to be successful. Shows a complete lack of respect for one thing, and is just so wrong on so many other levels. There are however decent ones out there Lady T, unfortunately you sometimes have to work through a lot of not so good ones to find them. Try not to let it get you down though, you're an attractive woman and are in a position of power on a site like this to be able to choose the right ones for you.

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seriously

everyone on here thinks everyone else is having a better time than them.

just enjoy yourself, keep yourself safe and have some fun.

Sometimes its best not to look into things too deeply

Seriously

You have no idea

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have to disagree with you as you are beautiful with a fantastic smile and enchanting eyes and if I was closer,a non smoker, good looking, the rugby type and single I would have sent you a message.

)

Mr CC"

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Speaking as the male half of the couple, I don't understand how anyone could behave like that either before or during a meet and hope for it to be successful. Shows a complete lack of respect for one thing, and is just so wrong on so many other levels. There are however decent ones out there Lady T, unfortunately you sometimes have to work through a lot of not so good ones to find them. Try not to let it get you down though, you're an attractive woman and are in a position of power on a site like this to be able to choose the right ones for you.

Mr G"

Thank you.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Mr G

Thank you. "

None needed

Hope it all works out for you.

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

I hear exactly where you're coming from OP. One little thing and I'm put off.

At least you've had one that satisfied you , that's one more than some

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

I hear exactly where you're coming from OP. One little thing and I'm put off.

At least you've had one that satisfied you , that's one more than some

That's very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly? I think if I'd met 12 men and only one had done it for me, I'd be looking at myself and my own selection criteria, or perhaps the realisticness of what I was looking for and expecting from meeting someone for the first time. I don't mean that to sound like a criticism, but you're going to get a lot of people popping up telling you exactly what you want to hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

I hear exactly where you're coming from OP. One little thing and I'm put off.

At least you've had one that satisfied you , that's one more than some

That's very true.

It's not good leaving a meet and going home to finish the job off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

There are guys on here who you describe as being what you want/need.

They are normally the quiet ones, the ones who always think that women are after the bad boys, the ones who won't admit it but get intimidated by the attitude of other male predators. The ones who don't have a long list of conquests, sorry I mean vari's. The ones who go about it all quietly and respectfully. Unfortunately these guys are normally in relationships, because they are guys who know how life works.

You are a very beautiful woman and should be treated as such xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lady T, you are an absolute stunner.

Dont let idiots get you down, believe in yourself, look closer and see how lovely you are.

Some guys just dont know how to treat a woman, they think because of the nature of the site we are meat, happy to fuck anything and gagging to be abused ( thanks to lots of idiotic porn).

Youre classy, and sassy, enjoy being choosy .......

Sugar x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm totally with you OP, stick to your guns and you'll find the right one, he's out there somewhere..... and mine is too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think maybe guys put up barriers with the nature of this site, I found with one on one's that were more affectionate feelings followed and inevitably that leads to people getting hurt.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It can be very frustrating on here at times Lady T but you know that already. I almost met a guy who was local, tall, blah blah and then he asked what I was going to wear. I know it might sound picky but that's a pet hate of mine so I changed my mind and ended up getting a whole load of abuse so, in hindsight I was pleased and saw it as a lucky escape.

The problem is there are soooo many guys on here that will say what they think you want to hear (even though you don't!!!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be very frustrating on here at times Lady T but you know that already. I almost met a guy who was local, tall, blah blah and then he asked what I was going to wear. I know it might sound picky but that's a pet hate of mine so I changed my mind and ended up getting a whole load of abuse so, in hindsight I was pleased and saw it as a lucky escape.

The problem is there are soooo many guys on here that will say what they think you want to hear (even though you don't!!!)

That's so very true. For some reason I've hit a patch the last fortnight of guys telling me what i want to hear then doing the opposite.

Just stick to what you want, don't compromise and move on to the next. You'll find what you're looking for Miss T

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

You are sensationally attractive and i sometimes feel the same but dislike one off meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you spend plenty of time chatting to them before and have socials? I actually haven't had a meet (in recent years) where I didn't feel that they were concerned about my well being, all our recent single guy meets have done all they can to satisfy me and have spent time with me afterwards caressing me, talking to me, however I do feel this is to do with the relationships that we have built up with the guys in the first place, texting, speaking on the phone etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Honestly? I think if I'd met 12 men and only one had done it for me, I'd be looking at myself and my own selection criteria, or perhaps the realisticness of what I was looking for and expecting from meeting someone for the first time. I don't mean that to sound like a criticism, but you're going to get a lot of people popping up telling you exactly what you want to hear. "

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The problem is there are soooo many guys on here that will say what they think you want to hear (even though you don't!!!)

That's so true. I wonder if women know as little about men as men do women.

I hate to be as picky as I've become, but I don't feel I have a choice given the disappointing and even somewhat scary meets I've had.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think maybe guys put up barriers with the nature of this site, I found with one on one's that were more affectionate feelings followed and inevitably that leads to people getting hurt. "

Good point, actually. I wonder...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Why would I be critical of you? I have no idea who you are. It wasn't intended to be critical so you've misinterpreted it if you've taken it that way. If a pattern is repeating over and over again, sometimes you have to look to yourself as well as to others to break the cycle and find what you want. That's all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Oh i apologize i thought you were the one that accused me of wanting a medal for being honest. I must have got you muddled up with someone else.

but you didn't read my post, I have had someone that gave me what I wanted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Oh i apologize i thought you were the one that accused me of wanting a medal for being honest. I must have got you muddled up with someone else.

but you didn't read my post, I have had someone that gave me what I wanted"

Oh I remember. Yes that was me.

I read your post. I see my misunderstanding was in thinking you wanted any advice beyond "aww hun you're beautiful and men are all just idiots". I won't bother.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Oh i apologize i thought you were the one that accused me of wanting a medal for being honest. I must have got you muddled up with someone else.

but you didn't read my post, I have had someone that gave me what I wanted

Oh I remember. Yes that was me.

I read your post. I see my misunderstanding was in thinking you wanted any advice beyond "aww hun you're beautiful and men are all just idiots". I won't bother."
understand what you like your opinion means nothing to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Oh i apologize i thought you were the one that accused me of wanting a medal for being honest. I must have got you muddled up with someone else.

but you didn't read my post, I have had someone that gave me what I wanted

Oh I remember. Yes that was me.

I read your post. I see my misunderstanding was in thinking you wanted any advice beyond "aww hun you're beautiful and men are all just idiots". I won't bother. understand what you like your opinion means nothing to me

Okey dokey. No opinion was given, just a suggestion which was genuinely intended to be helpful. I'm out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Oh i apologize i thought you were the one that accused me of wanting a medal for being honest. I must have got you muddled up with someone else.

but you didn't read my post, I have had someone that gave me what I wanted

Oh I remember. Yes that was me.

Okey dokey. No opinion was given, just a suggestion which was genuinely intended to be helpful. I'm out. "

Of course there was an opinion! Geez...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I am going to throw this out there and OP can get the hump if she likes. I have just looked at your profile and It is like so many single women's on here it gives any single guy reading it no clue about what you like and don't like or what you are looking for. Is it any wonder then that you will get messages from people who are totally the opposite to what you are looking for...

You have written more and given more of an understanding of what you want on the on this post(which 95% of the men on here wont see)

If this post had been placed by a single guy with the same level of thought gone into their profile,then they would have been told to go away by now....

This I my honest opinion and is not necessarily going to be shared, but then opinions are like arseholes, every one has one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't get yourself wound up again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

Some men say weird, inappropriate things when they feel awkward, intimidated or inadequate for whatever reason.

They're projecting those feelings onto you by bigging up others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lady T, you are an absolute stunner.

Dont let idiots get you down, believe in yourself, look closer and see how lovely you are.

Some guys just dont know how to treat a woman, they think because of the nature of the site we are meat, happy to fuck anything and gagging to be abused ( thanks to lots of idiotic porn).

Youre classy, and sassy, enjoy being choosy .......

Sugar x

Being the male half of the couple I can agree Lady T is stunning and if a guy joined us (my wife and I) and tried to abuse her verbally or just wanted to fuck and leave he'd get told where to go. Our best meet for a guy was at a club you can actually see them chat to them in person and get lots more of an idea what they are after and like. On here it's so misleading a guy comes over decent and in reality is very different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

Why don't you put what you want and don't want in your profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I am going to throw this out there and OP can get the hump if she likes. I have just looked at your profile and It is like so many single women's on here it gives any single guy reading it no clue about what you like and don't like or what you are looking for. Is it any wonder then that you will get messages from people who are totally the opposite to what you are looking for...

You have written more and given more of an understanding of what you want on the on this post(which 95% of the men on here wont see)

If this post had been placed by a single guy with the same level of thought gone into their profile,then they would have been told to go away by now....

This I my honest opinion and is not necessarily going to be shared, but then opinions are like arseholes, every one has one"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

Why don't you put what you want and don't want in your profile?"

EXACTLY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

Why don't you put what you want and don't want in your profile?"

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

If the site is not working for you then you need to take a step back and re evaluate .

Are your exspections realistic?

Is your profile geared to that and working for you?

Is your vetting process ing out the undesirables and welcoming the gems that are on here ?

Ect ect . Ask yourself what you need to do different , as you are the only constant.

The site after all is just a tool ,your experience on here depends on how well you use that .

I hope things turn about for you op and you find what you seek .good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have written more and given more of an understanding of what you want on the on this post(which 95% of the men on here wont see)

If this post had been placed by a single guy with the same level of thought gone into their profile,then they would have been told to go away by now....

This I my honest opinion and is not necessarily going to be shared, but then opinions are like arseholes, every one has one"

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags. "

Define 'slags'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

I hear exactly where you're coming from OP. One little thing and I'm put off.

At least you've had one that satisfied you , that's one more than some

Totally agree with you both. I often find it's after a meet has been arranged, date set and then they say something to make me question my own sanity at ever agreeing to meet them. That's why I've given up arranging meets on here. Too many disappointents. Yeh my standards are sky high but why shouldn't they be. I can pull single males in 'the real world' so my standards are not going to drop.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

I hear exactly where you're coming from OP. One little thing and I'm put off.

At least you've had one that satisfied you , that's one more than some

Oh but your selection process and your profile must be to blame!

Seriously, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you need to reevaluate the type of men you are going for / selection, how you meet process.

Is it possible to meet the guy who satisfied you again, strike up an on going arrangement with him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Define 'slags'?"

A woman who doesn't need to be respected or given consideration, it would seem .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags. "

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find."

Offs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always do the searching for men who you deem suitable rather than wait for men to message you who may deem to be unsuitable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You could always do the searching for men who you deem suitable rather than wait for men to message you who may deem to be unsuitable."

Very good point. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

Offs. "

Well what do you really expect after a comment like that?

You think based on your experience that a lot of men think women on this site are here to be treated like slags, that's not my experience.

You're the one who is getting frustrated with the site / men, not me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

Offs.

Well what do you really expect after a comment like that?

You think based on your experience that a lot of men think women on this site are here to be treated like slags, that's not my experience.

You're the one who is getting frustrated with the site / men, not me."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

Offs.

Well what do you really expect after a comment like that?

You think based on your experience that a lot of men think women on this site are here to be treated like slags, that's not my experience.

You're the one who is getting frustrated with the site / men, not me."

If they are that easy to find, I wouldn't be feeling down about it.

I'm so happy for you, but just because it's your experience doesn't make it so for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

I feel almost the same as you except that I'm happily married but I also want what you do. I always feel I have to explain on social meets that just because I'm a swinger and "Hotwife" does not mean I want to be treated like a whore! I'm looking for a mental and physical connection with somebody hot - not found it yet in two years of being in the lifestyle. So I don't really have a suggestion but good luck in your search xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

Offs.

Well what do you really expect after a comment like that?

You think based on your experience that a lot of men think women on this site are here to be treated like slags, that's not my experience.

You're the one who is getting frustrated with the site / men, not me."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

Offs.

Well what do you really expect after a comment like that?

You think based on your experience that a lot of men think women on this site are here to be treated like slags, that's not my experience.

You're the one who is getting frustrated with the site / men, not me.

Not all us men think the women on here are slags, I am here to meet women and treat them with respect and I do read profiles, if what they are looking is not me then I don't message them simple as.

Yes there will be ones that just treat it like they are from the stone age and think just because a single woman is on this sight she is a slag and just a peice of meat. Some of us don't think that at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they are that easy to find, I wouldn't be feeling down about it. "

You're tarring a lot of men with a very broad brush there.

I think you're looking in the wrong place or the wrong way if after 12 meets you still haven't improved your selection and filtering process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, I've just looked at your profile. You talk of respect (etc), yet your opening gambit is about getting laid "by someone decent this time".

Why do you think the people you're searching for would be compelled to message you?

If I saw a comment like that I'd immediately move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh, I've just looked at your profile. You talk of respect (etc), yet your opening gambit is about getting laid "by someone decent this time".

Why do you think the people you're searching for would be compelled to message you?

If I saw a comment like that I'd immediately move on. "

So its working then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags.

Then meet the ones that don't think this way, they're pretty easy to find.

Offs.

Well what do you really expect after a comment like that?

You think based on your experience that a lot of men think women on this site are here to be treated like slags, that's not my experience.

You're the one who is getting frustrated with the site / men, not me.

If they are that easy to find, I wouldn't be feeling down about it.

I'm so happy for you, but just because it's your experience doesn't make it so for everyone. "

I get that everyone's experience is different & can change over time, who knows this time next year I maybe feeling frustrated & down hearted with the whole thing.

But I do think the thread is coming across as a bit of a single man bashing one. You don't seem prepared to consider the thought that as you're the common denominator in all this its maybe down to you to effect the change.

Good luck in your search...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, I've just looked at your profile. You talk of respect (etc), yet your opening gambit is about getting laid "by someone decent this time".

Why do you think the people you're searching for would be compelled to message you?

If I saw a comment like that I'd immediately move on.

So its working then. "

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh, I've just looked at your profile. You talk of respect (etc), yet your opening gambit is about getting laid "by someone decent this time".

Why do you think the people you're searching for would be compelled to message you?

If I saw a comment like that I'd immediately move on.

So its working then.

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice? "

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are a beautiful, lovely, clearly intelligent women and probably the type I'd really go for. Unfortunately your requirement is so specific that you'd almost certainly not reply to me (this is all hypothetical of course because the distance is too prohibitive). It's a common feature of dating sites. Good looking women complaining they can't find nice guys and nice guys complaining that good looking women don't reply...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, I've just looked at your profile. You talk of respect (etc), yet your opening gambit is about getting laid "by someone decent this time".

Why do you think the people you're searching for would be compelled to message you?

If I saw a comment like that I'd immediately move on.

So its working then.

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed. "

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

It's not "bashing" when I say that you come across as a very rude, self-important individual who will push away any man with an ounce of self-respect, leaving you with the men you're currently complaining about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You are a beautiful, lovely, clearly intelligent women and probably the type I'd really go for. Unfortunately your requirement is so specific that you'd almost certainly not reply to me (this is all hypothetical of course because the distance is too prohibitive). It's a common feature of dating sites. Good looking women complaining they can't find nice guys and nice guys complaining that good looking women don't reply..."

I can't win. First Im told I need to be more specific, now I'm told I'm too specific.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

Well I'd love to meet you. I have the attributes you describe. But actions speak louder than words, and I guess I won't be able to show those actions.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

There is a certain point when messaging can go in too long and blokes can put their feet in it. Simply because a bloke says they have come over a womans face and it was great, doesn't mean they'll do it to you. Or that they like anal or fisting, doesn't mean they'll do it to you. They could have had 20 man gang bangs - it doesn't mean they have bare back, std's or are bi, it simply means they are getting their rocks off.

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

I'd say, show some caution as you do, intuition is always the best keeper, but there is always a point where there are one to many questions asked. If this is where you think you're going to be put off fucking them then don't ask it. If their humour is good, if their level of respect it is good then meet them and see where it goes.

I would never outwardly volunteer the information "I love coming in a womans face", or information about how previous meets looked. I'd think they were trying to find a way to get out of the meet or you have asked them this off guard and have thought too much about it.

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh, I've just looked at your profile. You talk of respect (etc), yet your opening gambit is about getting laid "by someone decent this time".

Why do you think the people you're searching for would be compelled to message you?

If I saw a comment like that I'd immediately move on.

So its working then.

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is a certain point when messaging can go in too long and blokes can put their feet in it. Simply because a bloke says they have come over a womans face and it was great, doesn't mean they'll do it to you. Or that they like anal or fisting, doesn't mean they'll do it to you. They could have had 20 man gang bangs - it doesn't mean they have bare back, std's or are bi, it simply means they are getting their rocks off.

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point. "

None of the information they gave about previous meets was asked for. But either way, that's the sort of thing they like, so it's obvious I'd be a disappointment to them. Why would I set myself up to disappoint a guy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't win. First Im told I need to be more specific, now I'm told I'm too specific. "

Haha. I'm not telling you what you should do. It's up to you. I thought I was being nice...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I. "

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fit with what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think about it, you are asking for a guy with feelings, who understands the way women think, who doesnt think with his cock and who cares about your feelings.

But...... alongside this , you want him to be great in bed and give you the time of your life......with no strings.

tall order

maybe settle for a good book and your rabbit

Sugar x"

oh the joys of swinging almost makes you laugh out loud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly don't know what half you women want from a site like this??? Seems a lot of you are looking for "the one" when I've had the rare 121 meet, I find it fun to discuss past meets, and experiences. I've never found it disrespectful! !!!!! Can't say I've ever had a bad 121 meet, as I wasn't looking for the reassurance that I'm beautiful, and the only woman they want!!! Just pure fun and laughter.

Think you are on the wrong site my dear. Although dating sites are as bad lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

I like having my hair pulled when having sex but I'm not disappointed if it's not pulled every time I have sex. I treat each person I have sex with as an individual, what they do sexually with people they meet before and after me has no bearing on my meet with them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

Great. However, I would hate to be a disappointment and if I realise that the things that turn me off are the things that turn him on, why waste his time and set myself up to feel inadequate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

I never said you deserve to be insulted but you do seem to be gunning for an argument for some reason.

As someone said already, for what you are looking for, a "Swinging / sex site" may not be the best place maybe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

I never said you deserve to be insulted but you do seem to be gunning for an argument for some reason.

As someone said already, for what you are looking for, a "Swinging / sex site" may not be the best place maybe."

So what do you suggest, bearing in mind, as I've said, I don't want a relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having read your OP, and the subsequent posts, I'm wondering why you didn't set up some sort of arrangement with the first man you fucked?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

I never said you deserve to be insulted but you do seem to be gunning for an argument for some reason.

As someone said already, for what you are looking for, a "Swinging / sex site" may not be the best place maybe.

So what do you suggest, bearing in mind, as I've said, I don't want a relationship? "

Who knows but you don't seem to be able to find what you are looking for here and seem to be getting down about it.

If something that's meant to be fun was getting me down, I'd basically stop doing it.

I don't think anyone can answer your question really other than keep on what you are doing trying to find that one that will do it for you with no strings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

I never said you deserve to be insulted but you do seem to be gunning for an argument for some reason.

As someone said already, for what you are looking for, a "Swinging / sex site" may not be the best place maybe.

So what do you suggest, bearing in mind, as I've said, I don't want a relationship? "

Stop been so needy (oops there, I said it)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even just regular sexual fun is a form of relationship, perhaps what you want is to maintain control, so I would suggest a giggalo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what do you suggest, bearing in mind, as I've said, I don't want a relationship? "

Just keep going. As someone who spent a lot of time on dating sites unsuccessfully looking for what he wanted, 12 meets is nothing believe me. Many guys will probably read this and think; 12 meets and 2 sexual encounters...if only lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having read your OP, and the subsequent posts, I'm wondering why you didn't set up some sort of arrangement with the first man you fucked? "

Distance mainly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having read your OP, and the subsequent posts, I'm wondering why you didn't set up some sort of arrangement with the first man you fucked?

Distance mainly "

I meet up with someone every couple of months because the sex is fantastic but we are at opposite ends of the country... I'd rather have 24 hours of great sex than the odd meet here and there with mediocre sex ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

Great. However, I would hate to be a disappointment and if I realise that the things that turn me off are the things that turn him on, why waste his time and set myself up to feel inadequate? "

I suppose it comes down to talking about what things are negotiable and what aren't. For example, hair pulling is negotiable for me but kissing is a definite and I wouldn't meet someone who doesn't kiss.

You've put on your profile now what your likes and dislikes are so hopefully you'll find someone who fits what you're looking for

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

Great. However, I would hate to be a disappointment and if I realise that the things that turn me off are the things that turn him on, why waste his time and set myself up to feel inadequate?

You've put on your profile now what your likes and dislikes are so hopefully you'll find someone who fits what you're looking for

After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

It is possible to clash with a person on one thread and still offer constructive advice on another....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having read your OP, and the subsequent posts, I'm wondering why you didn't set up some sort of arrangement with the first man you fucked?

Distance mainly

He's in Italy and we both have pretty busy lives. We'd probably end up meeting maybe once a year. I'm so awful wanting more sex than that, as well as being too needy, too specific, not specific enough...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why post in the advice forum if you don't want advice?

I was concentrating on the support bit. Advice is always welcome, but if it's a way to try to bash me, if course is going to be dismissed.

Where have I bashed you?

You appear to be rude to everyone who doesn't say what you already believe?

If you are looking for something to change, that change has to come from you. And that has to come from you accepting ideas you haven't already thought about.

No, of course it's not bashing, at all. Is perfectly fine for anyone to have a go at me and insult me, but god forbid I take umbrage. How fucking dare I.

You did take "umbrage" to the first person that said something that didn't seem to fth what you wanted to hear though.

I think you have taken many comments on here the wrong way.

Happy swinging

She's and I have clashed before, as well she knows.

But yeah, I'm so awful I deserve to be insulted etc. Thanks.

It is possible to clash with a person on one thread and still offer constructive advice on another...."

Apparently not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

A big no-no is to compare a woman to another woman! Hope you have better fortunes in the future OP, hopefully in the not-too-distant future!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

A big no-no is to compare a woman to another woman! Hope you have better fortunes in the future OP, hopefully in the not-too-distant future!

Many thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a show called Monkey Dust with a sketch where each sentence said to a woman is like making a chess move. Talking about other women more often than not is the wrong move. =)

I do think people shouldn't assume everyone on the site is in to the kinkiest sex possible so I do get where Lady T is coming from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having read your OP, and the subsequent posts, I'm wondering why you didn't set up some sort of arrangement with the first man you fucked?

Distance mainly

Now why could you not have prefixed that with a 'thanks but...'

Sarcasm doesn't really work here either... maybe use

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having read your OP, and the subsequent posts, I'm wondering why you didn't set up some sort of arrangement with the first man you fucked?

Distance mainly

Now why could you not have prefixed that with a 'thanks but...'

Sarcasm doesn't really work here either... maybe use

Fuck me. Not only do I want sex too much, am too needy, too specific, not specific enough, but now I'm being told exactly how to reply to posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And too sensitive, when people ask for advice they usually know the answer but just need reassurance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

Great. However, I would hate to be a disappointment and if I realise that the things that turn me off are the things that turn him on, why waste his time and set myself up to feel inadequate?

You've put on your profile now what your likes and dislikes are so hopefully you'll find someone who fits what you're looking for

After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win. "

I took the being too specific to mean what you wanted a guy to physically be, the 6 foot, good looking, rugby build. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being specific in what you want on here.

I'm not sure why you removed stuff just because of a few comments on here, there are a lot more people on this site than on the forums.

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By *fcdTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend

"After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win. "
I'd add persecution complex to the list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win. I'd add persecution complex to the list. "

I thought it was against site rules to make derogatory personal comments? There seemed nothing wrong with the OP to me. It's not an unusual complaint

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win. I'd add persecution complex to the list. "

Thank got so much for all the helpful, kind, constructive comments.

You have no idea how damaging they can be.

Oh shit, I forgot the eye roll emoticon. So shoot me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't even think you know what your looking for yourself OP.....I would chill out a bit n find someone that makes you laugh till you cry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Find the bloke who's most visually appealing. Tape his mouth up and fuck him senseless. Job done

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Find the bloke who's most visually appealing. Tape his mouth up and fuck him senseless. Job done

That made me laugh, I know you were facetious, but thank you anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Find the bloke who's most visually appealing. Tape his mouth up and fuck him senseless. Job done

That made me laugh, I know you were facetious, but thank you anyway

Just trying to lighten the mood a tad lovely. It's all got a bit serious.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

gets what?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

"After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win. I'd add persecution complex to the list. "

Bit harsh as everybody has tastes, reservations or preferences

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By *eshzMan
over a year ago

0151

OP don't lower your standards ever, if someone ever does anything as you have described, just excuse yourself.

The other party will learn very quickly that certain matters are not to be mentioned when out for a social.

Just my point of _iew though. By the way you look beautiful and a cool smile.... And I'm not saying this to score pointsm. Just telling you the truth

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By *fcdTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend

"Bit harsh as everybody has tastes, reservations or preferences "
Maybe I'm misreading the tone but there's an awful lot of what seem to me to be combative responses to any suggestion the problem might not be other people (although I'd agree there's a lot of men on here with a serious attitude problem).

It's not about having preferences/tastes, it's about the interactions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"gets what?"

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Find the bloke who's most visually appealing. Tape his mouth up and fuck him senseless. Job done

That made me laugh, I know you were facetious, but thank you anyway

Just trying to lighten the mood a tad lovely. It's all got a bit serious."

Certainly made me smile..

Have read the whole thread and was thinking much the same

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

"So, I need to ignore the fact that men don't read profiles, that's been discussed ad infinitum?

Ok.....

I don't think it matters what I put, I think a lot of men here think that women on this site are just here to be treated as slags. "

And is that not what you could then use to filter out the unwanted ones? Those that clearly don't read it don't make the grade surely?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"gets what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, of course you're going to be critical of me

Oh i apologize i thought you were the one that accused me of wanting a medal for being honest. I must have got you muddled up with someone else.

but you didn't read my post, I have had someone that gave me what I wanted

Oh I remember. Yes that was me.

Okey dokey. No opinion was given, just a suggestion which was genuinely intended to be helpful. I'm out.

Of course there was an opinion! Geez... "

Get a grip love!

surely there's a lot more in your life than sex! If you're finding it frustrating then have a break. I can't find what I want either so I've backed off.. continued having fun in other ways and not let it worry me. Or try a different approach... I've not read your profile but maybe clubs? I've always found them easier because of the face to face nature of them. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

Most of your responses can be split into thanking the white knights for their ingratiating claptrap or putting the backs up of the women who have tried to offer advise .... so far there does not appear to be any middle ground...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to disagree with you as you are beautiful with a fantastic smile and enchanting eyes and if I was closer,a non smoker, good looking, the rugby type and single I would have sent you a message.

)

Mr CC

I agree with above lady. Fine words about what on the face of it you look like a fine lady.

And that you ride is an attractive trait in itself. Well time it is as I love horses

If you ever just fancy a coffe and a nice guy to restore your faith in some of the male species then I'd be happy to sit down n chat one morning / afternoon.

Regards and stay positive beautiful.

Jamie xx

Thank you "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

I'm sure it seems that way to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

Your not asking too much, and frankly you are stunning xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Apologies to anyone being nice, I won't be able to thank you in public as you'll be seen as a white knights. We all have to be hard faced cunts, apparently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooo and off topic but if you want nice nails, look into getting some gels done, mine last around two weeks and I work with horses everyday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apologies to anyone being nice, I won't be able to thank you in public as you'll be seen as a white knights. We all have to be hard faced cunts, apparently. "

Start bucking the trend me lady !!! Xx

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

I've had some really good meets on here. If someone says or starts talking to me in a way I dont like I tell them that I find it offensive and I don't like it. The decent ones apologise and do actually listen to me. The other ones dont message back or me them and they're gone. Communication is the key for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ooooo and off topic but if you want nice nails, look into getting some gels done, mine last around two weeks and I work with horses everyday

I have a horse, ergo, I'm skint

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

Yep. I tell them sorry, that doesn't do anything for me and that's that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ooooo and off topic but if you want nice nails, look into getting some gels done, mine last around two weeks and I work with horses everyday

I have a horse, ergo, I'm skint

Have a look on eBay and get a home kit, they are that expensive or I bet you know someone that would do them at a reduced rate xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nice guy may even treat you to some !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinger are usually open about sexual ideas but the English reserve means you don't talk about your conquests. So the quietest man you meet is probably going to be the dirtiest!

p.s I doubt you are going to find a guy that hasn't come on a womans face at some point.

Great. However, I would hate to be a disappointment and if I realise that the things that turn me off are the things that turn him on, why waste his time and set myself up to feel inadequate?

You've put on your profile now what your likes and dislikes are so hopefully you'll find someone who fits what you're looking for

After being told to stop being needy and that I'm too specific, I've removed the lot. Clearly I can't win. "

Seems the only people you haven't argued or taken offence at are those that have pandered to to 'oh you're beautiful etc etc'. Obviously I'm not saying you aren't, but.....the attitude you are portraying appears to be exactly the attitude that the single men have that you're trying so hard to avoid! Like attracts like x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A nice guy may even treat you to some !!!

Xx"

Cringe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A nice guy may even treat you to some !!!

Cringe

I felt a bit mean saying that but since you have first.... cringe x2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A nice guy may even treat you to some !!!

Cringe

I felt a bit mean saying that but since you have first.... cringe x2"

Lol. Not saying it's me. I'm a right stingy fucker !!

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

Yep. I tell them sorry, that doesn't do anything for me and that's that. "

I believe like attracts like. What I portray outwards is what I get in. Without going back through any of the other comments and back tracking or why you've changed your profile, the profile you have at the moment isn't going to attractive what you're asking for. Its very negative x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see nothing wrong in what you seek......I find it's not easy to find a lady who feels the same way. I don't want to be a raging "Dom". I like the social aspect...tho not "dating" as such? (If that sounds right). A I do enjoy the feeling of arms around me....the closeness of a cuddle as well as the intimacy of sex. I sometimes feel a bit odd or out of place on here......but I don't think I'm alone....and reading your post makes me realise that, maybe I'm not after all?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often think if you look too hard for somehting or put pressure on yourself to find something, you rarely find it. I've spent near on 5 years trying to find a decent friend with benefits that gets me and is looking for the same. I've had regular fuck buddies but never really thought I'd found what I wanted.

My current profile is run so no one can message as I hate all the pestering/crap messages etc I used to get so thought I'd do the searching. I'd kind of given up to be fair, just sending the odd message to compliment a guys pics, body or whatever and using the forum now and then. I'd never expect anything when I messaged and have met a guy recently who I literally just clicked with whilst chatting on here. He left the site but we exchanged numbers and have arranged a meet next Monday.

I'm still not expecting it to come to anything as then I won't be disappointed if it doesn't but I have a good feeling about this and my point being, just go with the flow. Things find you when you least expect it. Good luck with your search

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

If I say something and the woman takes offence at it then I just break off communication becaus it would be obvious that we would not get on sexually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you state how annoying it is when guy's mention features you feel you cannot match up to but at the same time you are doing the same by building up this mythical dream man that any guy will struggle to match up to. it's a paradox, you want others to accept your quirks but have no room for manoeuvre on selecting this Adonis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP you state how annoying it is when guy's mention features you feel you cannot match up to but at the same time you are doing the same by building up this mythical dream man that any guy will struggle to match up to. it's a paradox, you want others to accept your quirks but have no room for manoeuvre on selecting this Adonis "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

I'm sure it seems that way to you. "

You see! Every time!

Go back and read every one of your comments.

Literally every time someone has posted "oohhh soft fluffy but no offer of help" you've replied with thanks and virtual kisses.

Every time someone has pointed out why your current way of communicating may be off-putting to those who you want to meet you reply every.single.time with "you would say that" type comment.

Every suggestion which has been something that you could do has been rejected as abuse or criticism.

Carry on getting your virtual hugs if that's what you want. That's perfectly fine. But absolutely nothing will change.

You need to look at the persona you're creating for yourself (with your profile and your posts) and work out yourself whether that would attract the type of person you want to meet.

Listen to advice, or don't.

But not many intelligent, strong-willed men with positive self-esteem are going to be actively seeking someone who is rude to every comment that isn't exactly what you want to hear.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

I've read this from beginning to end.

From that perspective it appears that because you are currently down or frustrated with the site your responses are seeing everything written as a dig on you.

You are a beautiful person to look at

You are allowed to want specific things

However taking the points out and looking at them :

suggestions around looking at changing your approach /profile are not digs at you just suggestions to try and change the end result

Assumption that you will be a disappointment. ... reconsider and chat about the things perhaps instead of putting yourself down /dismissing them

Meets can be fulfilling with each being totally different..

You posted for support and advice and tbh that is what has been provided.

I'm just not sure you are in a place to see it because of how you feel.

Good luck but maybe take a break until you are in a clearer head space.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can take a lot of time and effort to find exactly what your looking for. You found someone before so im sure you can again. Tell the guys your messaging exactly what you want. Tell them you dont want to be degraded or compared to anyone else do this in the first message then it saves you a lot of time and stress.

Your a gorgeous woman dont give up!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

I'm sure it seems that way to you.

You see! Every time!

Go back and read every one of your comments.

Literally every time someone has posted "oohhh soft fluffy but no offer of help" you've replied with thanks and virtual kisses.

Every time someone has pointed out why your current way of communicating may be off-putting to those who you want to meet you reply every.single.time with "you would say that" type comment.

Every suggestion which has been something that you could do has been rejected as abuse or criticism.

Carry on getting your virtual hugs if that's what you want. That's perfectly fine. But absolutely nothing will change.

You need to look at the persona you're creating for yourself (with your profile and your posts) and work out yourself whether that would attract the type of person you want to meet.

Listen to advice, or don't.

But not many intelligent, strong-willed men with positive self-esteem are going to be actively seeking someone who is rude to every comment that isn't exactly what you want to hear. "

I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

I'm sure it seems that way to you.

You see! Every time!

Go back and read every one of your comments.

Literally every time someone has posted "oohhh soft fluffy but no offer of help" you've replied with thanks and virtual kisses.

Every time someone has pointed out why your current way of communicating may be off-putting to those who you want to meet you reply every.single.time with "you would say that" type comment.

Every suggestion which has been something that you could do has been rejected as abuse or criticism.

Carry on getting your virtual hugs if that's what you want. That's perfectly fine. But absolutely nothing will change.

You need to look at the persona you're creating for yourself (with your profile and your posts) and work out yourself whether that would attract the type of person you want to meet.

Listen to advice, or don't.

But not many intelligent, strong-willed men with positive self-esteem are going to be actively seeking someone who is rude to every comment that isn't exactly what you want to hear.

I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home. "

Babe's, just come off here and go and see your horse. No knew hammering anything. People are trying to give you advice. I don't know what else is going on in your life but I suggest just being kind to yourself for a bit until you feel better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home. "

That's not what I said.

I said "plan A ain't working, try plan B. Here's what you're saying which may be why plan A fails 91.667% of the time".

I'm not the only one whose said this.

And every time you've read those words as "I hate you".

And every time (apart from this once) you've just been rude to the poster and dismissive of that help

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By *fcdTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend

"I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home. "
That's not what they said at all. I suspect someone a couple of messages up was right, you're in a place right now where for whatever reason, you are seeing everything with some sort of blinkers on. There have been some very measured and constructive comments on here which you have been rude or dismissive about then when it is pointed out, you play the victim card. It's all very negative, the vibes you are portraying.

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By *fcdTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend

"Babe's, just come off here and go and see your horse. No knew hammering anything. People are trying to give you advice. I don't know what else is going on in your life but I suggest just being kind to yourself for a bit until you feel better "
This. You put it rather better than I just did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home.

That's not what I said.

I said "plan A ain't working, try plan B. Here's what you're saying which may be why plan A fails 91.667% of the time".

I'm not the only one whose said this.

And every time you've read those words as "I hate you".

And every time (apart from this once) you've just been rude to the poster and dismissive of that help"

You're joking. Go and read your posts. You've made it very clear what you think of me,my profile my needs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home.

That's not what I said.

I said "plan A ain't working, try plan B. Here's what you're saying which may be why plan A fails 91.667% of the time".

I'm not the only one whose said this.

And every time you've read those words as "I hate you".

And every time (apart from this once) you've just been rude to the poster and dismissive of that help"

Maybe you could just leave me alone. Please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home.

That's not what I said.

I said "plan A ain't working, try plan B. Here's what you're saying which may be why plan A fails 91.667% of the time".

I'm not the only one whose said this.

And every time you've read those words as "I hate you".

And every time (apart from this once) you've just been rude to the poster and dismissive of that help

Maybe you could just leave me alone. Please. "

Hide your profile and take a break. This is the worst place to be if you're feeling down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I understand what you're saying. You don't want me, got don't think anyone that I want will want me. I'm not sure why you're continuing to hammer your point home.

That's not what I said.

I said "plan A ain't working, try plan B. Here's what you're saying which may be why plan A fails 91.667% of the time".

I'm not the only one whose said this.

And every time you've read those words as "I hate you".

And every time (apart from this once) you've just been rude to the poster and dismissive of that help

Maybe you could just leave me alone. Please.

Hide your profile and take a break. This is the worst place to be if you're feeling down. "

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By *rs Mia WallaceWoman
over a year ago

Bathwyche

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

Can't message you m'lady but I also so get your statement.

Send me a message. We live close to each other. Lets do a social coffee!?!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 21/09/16 13:37:41]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

What a load of bloody drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a load of bloody drama"

A normal day on the forum!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"What a load of bloody drama

A normal day on the forum! "

This, the one about the guy not replying after 20 mins and the absent birthday girl.....

Jesus wept

I love my life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it.

Can't message you m'lady but I also so get your statement.

Send me a message. We live close to each other. Lets do a social coffee!?!"

Thank you (shit, sorry, you'll be white knighted now)

I'm glad it isn't just me that feels this way, thanks to you and all who feel the same way and posted. However that makes me look to some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

Well put and well said ... And sorry youhavehad meets like that z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/09/16 13:46:16]

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

OP ..... I have learnt on here .... in finding what I want ... I have more chance of winning the lottery ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

...but it'd be so nice to have a man care about me in bed.

Fuck it. "

It does seem that the majority of men on here treat this as a 'porn-on-demand' sex site with an unhealthy desire to collect all the badges for each sexual act.

The site doesn't cater well for people like you and me, OP, that enjoy the art of sensuality, mental & physical arousal and the natural development of the sexual experience (rather than a script from a bad porn film and some nylon props from a dodgy on-line sex shop....)

It is possible to care about someone passionately, even if you only have a few precious hours together - I suppose we are both saying the same thing; care about the other person/people involved, not about the act you are performing.

Get the first bit right and the rest will follow...?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

I'm sure it seems that way to you.

You see! Every time!

Go back and read every one of your comments.

Literally every time someone has posted "oohhh soft fluffy but no offer of help" you've replied with thanks and virtual kisses.

Every time someone has pointed out why your current way of communicating may be off-putting to those who you want to meet you reply every.single.time with "you would say that" type comment.

Every suggestion which has been something that you could do has been rejected as abuse or criticism.

Carry on getting your virtual hugs if that's what you want. That's perfectly fine. But absolutely nothing will change.

You need to look at the persona you're creating for yourself (with your profile and your posts) and work out yourself whether that would attract the type of person you want to meet.

Listen to advice, or don't.

But not many intelligent, strong-willed men with positive self-esteem are going to be actively seeking someone who is rude to every comment that isn't exactly what you want to hear. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a load of bloody drama

A normal day on the forum!

This, the one about the guy not replying after 20 mins and the absent birthday girl.....

Jesus wept

I love my life

Haha, me too. Coming on here makes me realise I have absolutley no drama in my life, thank God, but then if you have, its mostly created by you. Just had a nosey at those other threads, the birthday one is like a broken pencil - pointless!!

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

This might sound critical..

This site is full of lovely and charming men....just because they dont tick all the boxes why ignore them? There is being selective and then there is too selective.

There is nothing wrong with being choosy about whoypuspend time with but there does need to be some leeway in it.

Because a man isnt 6ft exactly or isnt as big as you would like it doesnt stop him being someone you could spend time with....however people onthis site do seem to set a rather strict set of boxes and then complain because they refuse to budge on them.

If your looking for someone as a partner then maybe looking for them on what effectively is a sex site isnt the best place to look

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

And as for meeting a man that "gets it on here" i was introduced to here by dax....who is under 6ft.....hes 5'10, not quite "rugby player" build but is athletically toned due to kick boxing. Personally i would much rather have someone with a Good heart and mind than someone who is pampered more than i am

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yay! And now the abusive pms! What a wonderful load of people here! Happy days.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Yay! And now the abusive pms! What a wonderful load of people here! Happy days.

I have just read your profile, I have not had any interaction with you but jesus, what is the point of being like a spoilt sulky child.... is that really going to get what you seek....

grow up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yay! And now the abusive pms! What a wonderful load of people here! Happy days.

I'm not excusing this abusive behavior but like does seem to attract like. I think you should take a break from here and chill my lovely.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but I do hope you find the person you are looking for and be happy.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I think you could be looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place.

I'm not for one minute suggesting that you are looking for a relationship but the impression I get is you want the caring and respect that you would get from a partner in a NSA meet.

And there lies the problem. The No Strings bit. Most seem to be here for their own pleasure and satisfaction, not a problem that is what I'm here for, but many men don't seem to quite get the whole concept of swinging and that women can have sexual needs/wants too, we aren't on here just to facilitate the emptying of their balls or to fulfill their fantasy.

It could be you want more than many men on here are prepared to give, after all we are free prostitutes on here....yes that is the impression many many men give.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Yay! And now the abusive pms! What a wonderful load of people here! Happy days.

If the pm'so are abusive report and block.

As I said in my earlier post while I understand your predicament you seem to be in a negative place atm which is clouding your vision and allowing a petulant side out.

Step away from the site clear your negative self and consider where you need to hold from there

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yay! And now the abusive pms! What a wonderful load of people here! Happy days.

Block & report them.

There is never an excuse for this behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you've had quite alot of good advice on here and a fair amount of sympathy. You don't appear to want either while I'm sure this isn't the only stuff that's happening right now there really isn't any need for your current behaviour. Just walk away for now as you'll look back on this and cringe later on. I know I've done the same sort of thing. Hope you feel better soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this attention seeking drama nearly over yet?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a load of bloody drama"

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"Playing the eternal victim isn't a good way of finding the perfect partner ...

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"I'm never going to meet a guy who really gets it.

Fuck it. "

OP you need the kind of guy that gets turn on by the reaction his actions have on his sexual partner .

such men do exist I know this is going to sound like bullshit but I'm one such man .

yes I'm naturally dominate because I don't find being the centre of attention a turn on, I find making the other person the centre of the sex a turn on .my body responds to the effect my actions are having on a play partner .

this sexual quirk makes me a merciless lover once I learn what really turns on a play partner what drives her sexuality i will merciless use that to drive the sexual experience .

I do this because the act of doing that delivers a sexual experience I can enjoy to as I thrive and get more turn on the more my play partner gets turned on .

that's why d/s bdsm role play all work very well sexually for me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And goodnight all.

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