FabSwingers.com forum: Ignoring message's or don't send message's back

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you read the site rules, no replies means not interested. It's always a sore point but it's not meant as a personal insult.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read the FAQ on the site.

It's not being rude, they're just not interested in you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here

Why should they,you chose to message them they didn't ask you too.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

You seem to be full of anger op.

People owe nothing to others. Just because one emails another does not mean they have to reply.. there are loads of forums similar to one you have asked..

People are not going to change.. best thing is to change attitude

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Most women look at the profile first and if it doesn't interest them, they wont even open the message.

I am one of those women.

Also people don't reply with no thanks, because it opens them up to receiving an abusive message back - again I have received these type of messages. Also site rules state it is not rude not replying.

You should maybe read them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

But some ladies get 100s of messages a day, they would take hours to say no thanks to each one. Then guys reply to the no thanks. You're damned if you do damned if you don't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Well probably best you prepare yourself to be disrespected then...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But sometimes the problem lies where a reply is seen as an invitation for further conversation, prompting insults or demands to know WHY.

I wish there was a facility to send a 'this person isn't interested' picture that would cease communication links between both parties

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Some messages, are frankly, not worth replying too.

Suspect (especially new men) think this is a free brothel, and don't understand the swinging dynamics.

The one who go with the dynamic, well that is a whole new thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Right. Say, if you get a takeaway menu in the post but their menu or leaflet isn't appealing, do you ring them and say "thank you for the menu but I'm not interested"?

You need a smile & a tough skin to be on here I'm afraid!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only been about the 15th thread on this subject today.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Because as couples you get thousands of mails from single guys , even when we put on profile we will contact single guys if interested , trouble is 99% of guys don't read profiles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The FAQs explain that it isn't rude to reply. The men outnumber the women greatly on here, so the women receive hundreds of messages a day sometimes.

Imagine opening your e-mail inbox to find 200+ messages, all of which require replying to individually. How long would it take you to get through them all? Plus, while you're replying, more are coming in. It becomes an endless task.

To a degree, I see where you're coming from OP. I've put a lot of effort into messages only for them to be deleted. Occasionally I may get a reply saying "no thanks". In that case, I then reply thanking them for their reply as I know how full their in boxes can get.

While it may seem frustrating not getting any acknowledgement, the key is to just have patience. People can be on here for absolutely ages with no success whatsoever.

Hope this helps!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, women receive a lot of messages a day. It would be impossible to reply to all. If we tried, we would not be able to actually chat to the ones we want to talk to. It's the harsh reality I'm afraid."

I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* isn't rude to NOT reply

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness

You have too much time on your hands

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't. That's the problem as to why I can't reply haha. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Because as couples you get thousands of mails from single guys , even when we put on profile we will contact single guys if interested , trouble is 99% of guys don't read profiles

This too OP, go back & look at the profile of who you sent the message too, do you fit 100% all their requirements? If not and you messaged anyway how is it them being rude.

So you have to fit first & then be close enough & then they have to find you more attractive than the 200 other guys today..

It's tough on here..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

I used to reply to all my messages but the amount of people that keep trying to chat after a polite no thanks was a joke. I dont want to chat endlessly with people on here. In the end its easier not to reply if I'm not interested. Although if the message is well written and a decent message then I will give a nice polite message back.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did someone say something?

No thank fuck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I don't always reply to those I'm not interested in as they can bypass my filters when I change/reapply them.

If fab allowed me to reset filters then I would reply more, but alas I can't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness

Wow! That is a crazy amount!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness

Well stop being so attractive then lol

Anyway, to pip into this, we have had a few messages from single guys and will always try to message back when we can. The problem with messaging back is that the door is then perceived to be wide open and then messages start arriving very frequently. Granted not all single guys are the same, and we understand that its hard for a single guy to get noticed on here, but the few will spoil it for the many.

We have been messaged and then blocked before we could respond, which annoyed us, but we moved on. I wouldn't take it as an insult not to get a reply, just chalk it off and forget about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I liken it to nuisance calls; if you got enough a day you'd eventually give up engaging in polite conversation every time the phone rang.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the 'not interested' tab is a good idea but then I'd like to think it shouldn't be necessary and silence/deleted messages should be taken as thanks but no thanks.

The amount of messages some people get on here responding to everyone wouldn't be an effective use of their time.

Then there's the thought process around someone responding and people thinking that even though they've said no, the fact they have responded kinda means yes even though it doesn't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Do you reply to every bit of junk mail that the postie delivers? Do you send the company a polite letter saying thank you but no thanks?

No thought not.

But in your eyes the fact that ladies do exactly that when your unwanted and unsolicited mail lands in their inbox is bad manners and disrespectful.

Slightly hypocritical op

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New rule can we ban whining ? multiple threads on not getting a meet!? This site works well, I salute you fabswingers X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once sat and worked out how many messages I got a day. My free time etc etc and worked out if I met everyone that mailed just for a one night stand it'd take me TWO YEARS. madness

Can I join the front of that queue?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like yet another thread started where the OP keeps away after one reply

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here

You can't expect anything your choice to send the message and it does not mean they HAVE to reply. If you messaged me I'd probably just delete, would that warrant a ranty message then saying I was rude? If so then I'd block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Just remember then to live by your own rule and get emailing back to every junk piece of mail you get through the post or by email, as they have taken the time AND in many cases money to contact you after all it would be disrespectful not too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who can feel an UNLOS coming on ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it when i send a message poeple think it good just to ignore you and dont even have the respect to say no thank you people like that should not be here

Why should they,you chose to message them they didn't ask you too....."

And you could be one of 200+. Do you think they have time to answer all. .

Do you never receive "junk mail" in the post? Pizza leaflets etc? Do you send them nice replies? Like..."thank you Mar Pizzaman.....nice of you to send me another leaflet.....but I don't like cheese"....... it's actually exactly the same situation!

Think about it.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Right. Say, if you get a takeaway menu in the post but their menu or leaflet isn't appealing, do you ring them and say "thank you for the menu but I'm not interested"?

You need a smile & a tough skin to be on here I'm afraid!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's turn this around. OP what is the maximum number of messages you would reply to on a daily basis if you were sent a large amount of messages? How much time do you think it is reasonable to spend doing what seems to be admin when you only joined Fab for a bit of fun? Do you feel every single message should be replied to, or just the ones that fit the description of what they are looking? And finally, what should be said in a rejection letter?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my eyes its called respect if i taken the time to inbox someone i think i should have the same back even if its a no thank you but to ignore it is bad manners and disrespectful in my eyes

Noone asked you to message them though, do you take the time to reply to all the junk mail that comes through your letterbox??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hloe sussexTV/TS
over a year ago

Larne

"If you read the site rules, no replies means not interested. It's always a sore point but it's not meant as a personal insult. "

Yes I try and answer most msgs but sometimes there's to many or your in a rush and can't reply to every one its not being rude and also you get offence msgs and you certainty don't want to reply to them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we should have an automated message that says: thanks for your message if you're what I'm looking for I'll get back to you, if not good luck in your search.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe we should have an automated message that says: thanks for your message if you're what I'm looking for I'll get back to you, if not good luck in your search. "

And a second saying dream on, and a third saying did you even read my profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acko9568Man
over a year ago

saltburn

"Imagine opening your e-mail inbox to find 200+ messages, all of which require replying to individually. How long would it take you to get through them all? Plus, while you're replying, more are coming in. It becomes an endless task."

Reminds me of the Prayers sketch in Bruce Almighty, lol...a never ending stream of emails,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe we should have an automated message that says: thanks for your message if you're what I'm looking for I'll get back to you, if not good luck in your search.

And a second saying dream on, and a third saying did you even read my profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Imagine opening your e-mail inbox to find 200+ messages, all of which require replying to individually. How long would it take you to get through them all? Plus, while you're replying, more are coming in. It becomes an endless task."

Reminds me of the Prayers sketch in Bruce Almighty, lol...a never ending stream of emails, "

Funnily enough, I also thought of that!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

End of the day this site isn't for the easily offended

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is entitled to do what ever they like on here. I only message someone once, if I get a reply I chat, if I don't then I move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that you know it happens, and it's no longer a surprise, why not alter your expectations accept it and do what you can to receive a more positive response.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread