FabSwingers.com forum: Bit of advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is a pretty standard message I send to people. With a face pic

Hope it's ok to message you I expect you get lots from single guys. Just wondered what you're up to today. Maybe we could chat and see where it leads with s view to meeting up somewhere.

Would be great to hear from you.

Is there anything wrong with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit boring...

And...IMO.. intrusive...

Asking me what I'm up to will make me clam up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok. I'm more hands on than academic. I'll go and have a re think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't do it for me either to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What would?

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

The message doesn't tell them anything about you, neither does your profile really.

The message is just generic, isn't specific to them or their profile.

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough

"This is a pretty standard message I send to people. With a face pic

Hope it's ok to message you I expect you get lots from single guys. Just wondered what you're up to today. Maybe we could chat and see where it leads with s view to meeting up somewhere.

Would be great to hear from you.

Is there anything wrong with it?"

To be honest... Dull

It's just another generic message which is received everyday, countless times over and just get deleted from my inbox as it says you can't be bothered. It wouldn't even get a profile look from me, sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok folks thanks for the help. I'll try harder in future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a pretty standard message I send to people. With a face pic

Hope it's ok to message you I expect you get lots from single guys. Just wondered what you're up to today. Maybe we could chat and see where it leads with s view to meeting up somewhere.

Would be great to hear from you.

Is there anything wrong with it?"

It would be an instant delete. Clearly a generic copy and paste message with no personal information about me and nothing to garner my interest. How am I supposed to respond? "I am fine thank you?"

Quite apart from that, the spelling and grammar is dreadful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah because every woman wants a copy and paste message

The single guys that have been successful with us are the ones who have put lots of effort in to their first message, we put effort into messages when we message people so I expect them to too.

It's hardly rocket science read their profile, compose a message that reflects something about their profile, tell them something about your self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a real dislike for "maybe we could chat" and things along that line. Imagine you were in a bar.

"Hello. Would you like to have a chat?"

"OK. Let's chat"

"Ummm"

It's so unnatural!

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"It's a bit boring...

And...IMO.. intrusive...

Asking me what I'm up to will make me clam up

Me too, I'm not describing my plans to a stranger.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Ok. I'm more hands on than academic. I'll go and have a re think. "

Why would it have to be academic? Just send a message that tells the receiver you've read all their profile and make sure yours is well worth reading. The rest is up to fate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boring so instant delete. Why would I tell a total stranger what I'm up to? Are you really that bothered that I'm going to Asda to do the big shop?

Try and convey your personality into your messages. Maybe inject a sense of humour?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid I don't like it when a complete stranger asks me what I'm up to. I find it very intrusive. We also have men asking if we'd like to chat, and I tend to think 'well I don't know who you are, I don't know anything about you, so why would I want to chat to a random stranger?' I know that's sounds really awful, and I honestly don't know what a man should say instead.

But I guess we get on average a new message a day from a single guy and we've been using Fab for 2 years which means we've had messages from about a thousand single guys. From a thousand messages we've had private meets with only 7 men from Fab and maybe tried to meet another ten or so. It does make me wonder what the guys we like do differently. Sometimes it's just luck, ie they message just when we're at a loose end. The men we meet I will alway fancy them facially. Messagewise, I think their messages tend to be a bit more personalised and they may say something that suggests I might find them exciting. They will usually be quite experienced in the scene, or they know someone we know, or we meet them at a party. I don't think there has ever been a situation where a man we don't know has messaged out of the blue with a standard cut and paste message, and we have thought, 'yes we could have fun with him'.

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