FabSwingers.com forum: New and unsure

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone, we’re a young couple from the English east coast near skegness. We’re pretty new to the whole scene, we’ve had a threesome with another girl before and we definitely enjoyed that so we’re mainly looking to repeat the experience with other girls. However, we’re still rather unsure about other things like foursomes or swapping. We were thinking of trying out a party or a club but we’re nervous because so far we only know we’re comfortable with threesomes and we don’t know what would be expected of us at any parties or clubs. We also don’t know how welcome we would be being new and still unsure about what we’re comfortable with and not knowing how such parties/ clubs work, as in the etiquette and general series of events etc… We’re also worried that our presence as new people who aren’t sure might make others feel uncomfortable if we decide we’re not comfortable with certain things yet, because the last thing we want is to make anyone else feel uncomfortable.

As I said, we’re new to the scene and don’t know anyone else in it so we’re rather nervous about the idea of simply turning up at a club.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for us? Clubs or parties suited towards newcomers who aren’t 100% yet or general advice on where we should go from here? We’ve tried arranging meets with girls online and they just never seem to materialize, are clubs / parties the best way to go and if so, what would be expected of us and how welcome would we be? What’s the etiquette and series of events etc…?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a club would be my advice. Nobody takes any notice of newbies & nobody pounces on you. It will give you a chance to observe others also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hey guys and welcome. clubs are great places to get used to the swinging scene as they are relaxed and no1 pressurises u at all. i have only been once and the people i spoke to were great by way of giving me time to think etc. also i would recommend speaking to some of the more experienced couples....be honest and tell them ur thoughts and what u think u want from a meet and any swinger would probably be real accomodating and laid back. i was lucky to meet a great girl to introduce me who was patient and understanding

there are truly nice people out there that will help u become acustomed to this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also vote for attending a club. At the club I use, there are absolutely no expectations, and no-one would be pushy with a new couple. You can stay in the bar/lounge/dancefloor area all evening, if that's your comfort zone. Or take a walk round the playrooms to see what else is going on .... and if anyone invites you to play and you don't want to, just say 'no thanks' with a smile and that will be fine.

I would recommend a 'couples & single females only' evening for your first visit (Saturdays, at the club I use).

Absolutely no pressure to play unless/until you're ready (and in the very unlikely event of someone being puhsy, there are staff on hand to make sure you're looked after).

I know how you feel, because I would not dare to go to a privately-hosted party, in case there were 'expectations' that I was uncomfortable with. But a commercially run club gives you a huge protection.

Have fun, and happy swinging!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I also vote for attending a club. At the club I use, there are absolutely no expectations, and no-one would be pushy with a new couple. You can stay in the bar/lounge/dancefloor area all evening, if that's your comfort zone. Or take a walk round the playrooms to see what else is going on .... and if anyone invites you to play and you don't want to, just say 'no thanks' with a smile and that will be fine.

I would recommend a 'couples & single females only' evening for your first visit (Saturdays, at the club I use).

Absolutely no pressure to play unless/until you're ready (and in the very unlikely event of someone being puhsy, there are staff on hand to make sure you're looked after).

Have fun, and happy swinging! "

ooohhh, so we are agreeing on this one then?! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

hello thank you for your advice. defo sounds like clubs are the best way to go. i like the idea of staff providing added security. first time will probably be just to get comfortable with the whole thing but ya never know

Can anyone reccomend a good, relaxed social swingers club in the east coast area or should I just trawl the club list, pick one and hope for the best?

Thanks guys for all your help, I'll hopefully see you all on the forums more from now on, and once we get comfortable, who knows where else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The club I use is La Chambre in Sheffield, about 50 miles from you, I think.

But there are other clubs in your area... Attic in Derby, for example, and Chameleons in Darlaston is probably not that far away (and has a VERY good reputation).

The main difference you will find is the 'dress code'.... Some clubs (like La Chambre) are happy for couples to wear whatever they choose, until they're ready to enter the playrooms. Others (like Chameleons) feel it's best if everyone undresses into a towel/underwear straight away. It's just what you're comfortable with, I guess.

Good luck, whichever club you choose x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/11 20:15:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey... not too many clubs in the east coast area but I can highly recommend the 3 hr drive to Chameleons if you can do it.... I don't live that far from you and try to get there once a month. Best thing to do is stay over either at the club or there are plenty of hotels nearby. Can't say much about la chambre or the attic as I've never been except I know they are closer to you

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Can anyone reccomend a good, relaxed social swingers club in the east coast area or should I just trawl the club list, pick one and hope for the best?

It's not exactly close to you but The Attic in Derby is a really relaxed and friendly club. They don't do the towel thing either, you can dress how you like within the dress code.

It's a no pressure atmosphere and the regulars look out for the newbies as well.

Friday and Saturday nights are usually the best nights.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the recommendations, we're not that keen on the idea of having to wear underwear or towels straight off the bat on our first forray into the world of swinger clubs so I think we'll give those nes a miss for now.

I've heard Chameleons mentioned before, seems like somewhat of a hotspot, it's just a pitty all these clubs are quite a journey from us, someone should open one up a bit nearer lol.

We've some friends in Barnsley who are in the same boat as us so I'll suggest to them trying out La Chambre, We'll just have to see when we have the time and money to travel that far for the clubs.

Thanks for all the advice

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Good luck and enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best of luck - not that you need it, I'm sure you'll have a great time!

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