FabSwingers.com forum: crossed boundaries

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just wondering if any couples have talked about boundaries etc and one of The couple crossed them mid meet? And how it effected them going forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting subject

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Interesting subject

Yes will be interesting, I'm sure it happens a lot in the heat of the moment but I'm sure it could have catastrophic consequences with trust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep mr over stepped the boundaries on our first meet, alcohol played a major role in it though. We discussed it when he was sober I explained that the rules and boundaries are there for a reason and so we both enjoy the experience he agreed he messed up and now doesn't drink much when we play. But it did take me a while to relax at meets for a while and I even considered us leaving the lifestyle.

But apart from that hiccup he has been a good boy ever since and any changes to our boundaries are fully discussed and agreed and should any boundary be over stepped again I have some punishments lined up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yep mr over stepped the boundaries on our first meet, alcohol played a major role in it though. We discussed it when he was sober I explained that the rules and boundaries are there for a reason and so we both enjoy the experience he agreed he messed up and now doesn't drink much when we play. But it did take me a while to relax at meets for a while and I even considered us leaving the lifestyle.

Thats interesting, its a trust thing I think if you cant trust your partner to stay within where your comfortable how can you relax into it....oh yes the demon drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats interesting, its a trust thing I think if you cant trust your partner to stay within where your comfortable how can you relax into it....oh yes the demon drink

It was an experience that I never want repeated and I do put it down to the drinking to be honest which is why I'm sober when I play as i would hate to make him feel the way that I did. He did feel very guilty for weeks afterwards but we have put it behind us and have had lots of fun since then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thats interesting, its a trust thing I think if you cant trust your partner to stay within where your comfortable how can you relax into it....oh yes the demon drink

It a tough one to put behind you I'm guessing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wonder how many men versus women do the crossing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. Had a couple (well make half) almost instantly cross our boundaries despite having spent an hour social with them immediately prior discussing them, we iterated the one particular boundary he crossed several times. Led to massive awkwardness when we stopped play, he acted like a grumpy child and we left..

They then had the cheek to message us telling us not to switch our boundaries mid play! We anwered with the block button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can honestly say in the 2 years we've been doing this we've never had a hiccup like that. Mr doesn't drink when we play and if I do its not very much. We both look out for eachother, he has had to reinforce that were soft swap with couples mid play who seem to conveniently forget in the heat of the moment lol. I can imagine it'd be a trust destroyer if it did, boundaries are there for a reason

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can honestly say in the 2 years we've been doing this we've never had a hiccup like that. Mr doesn't drink when we play and if I do its not very much. We both look out for eachother, he has had to reinforce that were soft swap with couples mid play who seem to conveniently forget in the heat of the moment lol. I can imagine it'd be a trust destroyer if it did, boundaries are there for a reason

My thoughts exactly, you both have to be in it together both of the same mind or it will end in disaster

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By *inkybabe1109Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

When we 1st started we jumped in feet 1st with no boundaries and it nearly broke us up.

We then brought boundaries in and we have never crossed it and we love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May I ask what people's boundaries are?

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

Not to many here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I ask what people's boundaries are? "

Yes I'm equally interested to know please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I ask what people's boundaries are?

Yes I'm equally interested to know please x

I've found the boundaries for couples that want to meet a woman are mostly for the man. I'd assume the same goes for the woman in the couple and another man.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

people who break rules dont get to play again..its simple..ive had loads of crossing boundaries people, couples who think they can just come and help themselves, play partners who dont adhere to the rules they formed, women who just come and barge in and try and help themselves..couples that make up new rules as you get into playing with them..ive had it all...comes with the territory...you deal with it.. its your choice whether you allow it to happen again, or not. no i dont have that many..mainly people just dont ask before touching/ joining in. lack of manners..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"people who break rules dont get to play again..its simple..ive had loads of crossing boundaries people, couples who think they can just come and help themselves, play partners who dont adhere to the rules they formed, women who just come and barge in and try and help themselves..couples that make up new rules as you get into playing with them..ive had it all...comes with the territory...you deal with it.. its your choice whether you allow it to happen again, or not. no i dont have that many..mainly people just dont ask before touching/ joining in. lack of manners.."

Wasn't really referring to people you meet more if a couple have crossed boundaries during a meet and how then they have delt with it.

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By *dynlisaCouple
over a year ago

Notts

The only boundaries we have is no snogging and tell each other what happened. ..saying that lisa now as a boyfriend and snogs him

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"May I ask what people's boundaries are?

Yes I'm equally interested to know please x

Surely many people have many different boundaries?

We are soft swap so our boundary is penetration and playing in the same room.

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By *inkybabe1109Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

The only boundary we have we dont do separate rooms

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

Wasn't really referring to people you meet more if a couple have crossed boundaries during a meet and how then they have delt with it."
i have played as part of a couple...if they step over the boundaries i sit bolt upright and tell them to leave..simplez

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a couple come to ours once where we knew their boundaries beforehand from their profile stating they would do a certain act at their discretion, they never discussed boundaries at the social and then the woman asked for "the" particular act to be carried out and the guy freaked and didn't like it and was horrible to my wife saying we don't do that but she clearly was heard by both of us asking for it, they reckoned it was a misunderstanding but they still blocked us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then there was the male half of a couple who thought it was OK to whisper his requests into the wife's ear.

Perhaps if he'd have not been secretive and driven by his own needs and checked with everyone openly respectfully and honestly, if it was OK to do something (which is clearly written on our profile, and we spoke about) he'd have saved himself the bother of curling up like a spoiled child with his back to everyone, proving he didn't really care about anyone else's boundaries and was driven by his own needs, and acted ridiculously when he didn't get his way.

Of course they may have been hard of hearing, and if they had explained that, we would have spoken louder or in slow words that they could understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have spoke about what we both like and what we would and wouldn't do at clubs and on meets.....we also said we would play it by ear and if both were ok with something then that's fine.....I have been in situations where I have wanted to do something and Mr A hasn't and visa versa and we only have to say no once and that's it....carry on and enjoy the night .....we don't dwell on it and don't mention it again x

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

"May I ask what people's boundaries are? "

We have a few. Only the wife plays.

1. If I'm not there there must be pics or a video.

2. No lies and she tells me about all meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont drink any alcohol ever. I know what am doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I ask what people's boundaries are?

We have a few. Only the wife plays.

1. If I'm not there there must be pics or a video.

2. No lies and she tells me about all meets.

Toyaly agree with that but what about messaging to the other person or kissing the rules for us is no kissing no anal must record the sex and no communication unless on hear and wear a comdom and she broke every one of the rules accept no anal and recording her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering if any couples have talked about boundaries etc and one of The couple crossed them mid meet? And how it effected them going forward."

We have been swinging nearly 2 years now. In that time our ideas, boundaries, preferences and interests have changed. As two individual people we have changed in different ways to each other and at different paces - this has required us to communicate, negotiate and adapt in order to enhance each other's experiences. As a couple swinging has brought us closer together. This might seem strange because even though we started out with the definite idea that we wouldn't play alone and we now enjoy regular meets as singles and as a couple. Looking forward to the next 2 years!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi I'm Jay, KIren's partner and although out boundaries have evolved the more we played and discovered our likes and dislikes I feel that if you discuss and don't get d*unk then both have a satisfying time. One thing I have found is that a lot of the guys try to go too far and you can just tell from the ladies face that she wants her partner to not cross boundaries they had agreed and Kiren having picked up on that tells them to stop so plz guys and I know women may be at fault too just remember it's an experience for both of you and if you both enjoy it your love will grow stronger X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

boundery crosses by males in cpls when with previous play partners is the reason myself and my current partner dont play with cpls

I am very very clear both on our profile and in person that i am very bi and a lady only toy and wish no male involvement other than from my partner after us ladies have played and put on a sexy show and this makes it very hard to find cpls willing to accept my choice and it is MY choice as i am happy for my partner to play with other ladies i find it a huge turn on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never so far - we know what we like and when we play together we only do what pleases the both of us - if we ever have an 'are you sure about this ' moment we communicate somehow before carrying on - this wouldnt work if this didnt happen

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

What happens with a couple in a club if someone approaches you to play? Do you have a signal you give to show you are both comfortable? Do you excuse yourselves for a few minutes to discuss it? Do boundaries vary depending on who you are playing with and if so how do you communicate this to each other with the other person/people there?

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

"May I ask what people's boundaries are?

We have a few. Only the wife plays.

1. If I'm not there there must be pics or a video.

2. No lies and she tells me about all meets.

Of course the condom, but everything else is fair game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What happens with a couple in a club if someone approaches you to play? Do you have a signal you give to show you are both comfortable? Do you excuse yourselves for a few minutes to discuss it? Do boundaries vary depending on who you are playing with and if so how do you communicate this to each other with the other person/people there?"

we look at each other - very slight nod or shake or squeeze of the hand - have to say we know who we will both play with so its been more of a conformation than a query

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have relaxed our boundaries a lot since we started. Although neither of us have crossed boundaries, a woman we meet with did or tried to and can't fathom why we don't meet anymore.

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By *roovytwoCouple
over a year ago

burnley

We talk before the meet about what boundaries we would like and we do have different boundaries depending on who we meet and what type of fun we are looking for eg: full swap/soft swing/massage/mutual masturbation/watching etc. Naturally some of the boundaries are also set by the other couple/single/group and we also discuss these.

We never push anyone else's boundaries but it has happened mid meet when they have obviously wanted to "extend" their boundaries and we then ask the other "are you OK with this or similar"

It hasn't happened very often for the reasons above but if we are both in agreement then fine but if one of us says I,d rather not this time then obviously we don't...no questions asked.We qualify "I,d rather not this time" by suggesting to try something else within everyones boundaries so it doesn't put a "dampener" on the fun and everyone is happy

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

"We talk before the meet about what boundaries we would like and we do have different boundaries depending on who we meet and what type of fun we are looking for eg: full swap/soft swing/massage/mutual masturbation/watching etc. Naturally some of the boundaries are also set by the other couple/single/group and we also discuss these.

We never push anyone else's boundaries but it has happened mid meet when they have obviously wanted to "extend" their boundaries and we then ask the other "are you OK with this or similar"

That last bit is a very good idea as I can imagine toys being thrown out of a pram by some if they are not distracted by something else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have boundaries and don't and won't cross them,and we ask the same of others. It's a respect thing.

However, since we get very little action from here, and through friends have joined the local party scene, whee we've come to know people within our group of around 30 people on and off, we're pretty comfortable because we all basically know now what each others rules are. One male half of a couple over stepped and was kicked out of the group. End of play.

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By *unover40Couple
over a year ago

yeovil

we are very open with each other and know our boundaries, only met one cple that crossed them, and that was the male half

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