FabSwingers.com forum: getting wife involved

By *iscreetDevonFun OP Man
over a year ago

north devon

how would you go about suggesting/getting wife involved in swinging? She's not the most adventurous sort and I think she'd really enjoy herself if she let herself go and i'm not sure how to broach the subject. Also i figure she'd be more open to us playing with others together than me playing away and who knows, it might restart her sex drive, i dont really know.

I'm confused . anyone have any constructive thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you talk about sex together and have a good sex life? We got talking more about sex and then hubby brought up the subject of this site and I blew a fuse.I agreed to take a look after a couple of weeks and we havent looked back since. This may not work for your wife but how will you know until you ask her.If she still doesnt want to know i think you have to respect her _iews and go on from there. Good luck.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

How about starting by telling her that you've been a member for three weeks and your looking for other women or couples. That should break the ice!

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By *ouple1234Couple
over a year ago

BELFAST UK

play a game with her, get her to write 5-10 things to do with sex that she hasnt done that she might like to try and you do the same, only you write down about maybe trying mmf, swinging, outdoor fun. after you have done that swap the bits of paper and talk about why you's pick each thing, if she hasnt wrote swinging then thats when you say about you might like to see her with another woman/man and take it from there.

DONT say you have already joined a swingers site but you could maybe say you have looked into it before and know a free site that you's could try as a trail run

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

no one knows your wife as well as you do so it's rather pointless asking strangers for help with your 'dilema' - have you thought that the reason that she hasn't got much sex drive is because you bore her sexually? Talk to the lady if you have a shred of respect for her. Z

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By *iscreetDevonFun OP Man
over a year ago

north devon

We have discussed the lack of sex in our marriage thats been very lacking in the last 3 years and she's said she has no sex drive. When we do end up having sex, were either both d*unk or I get the feeling its a chore to her even though i'm the one doing ALL the work. Since we've gotten married shes stopped doing anything but straight sex as well so I'm at a loss for what to do. I've been as patient as i can over the last 3 years and i have no interest in leaving her because contrary to how it looks i do really love her but im getting to the point now where i'm on sites like this because the sexual urges i have are something I need to do something about. I dont expect most people to understand or care and i fully expect some troll to respond with negative comments but I'm someone with a high sex drive who no longer has a partner who is willing or interested to have sex more than once a month... make of it what you will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't know how to bring it up, you probably shouldn't as I'd assume you already have a communication problem - and that's just going to get a lot worse when she finds out you are already a member.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about starting by telling her that you've been a member for three weeks and your looking for other women or couples. That should break the ice!

mite break something dont know if it would be ice!lol,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her how you feel, it's as simple as that

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By *iscreetDevonFun OP Man
over a year ago

north devon

she already knows i want more, she's just not got any interest in sex anymore

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By *iscreetDevonFun OP Man
over a year ago

north devon

to make it clear, i've been clear already that i'd like more sex in our sexlife and she has no interest. the ONLY reason i'm on here is because she doesnt want to know. If i could "sort out" our sex life then i wouldn't even be on here. come to think of it i'm deluding myself thinking she would ever be interested in anything like this, she has lost all interest, forget i said anything

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Have you asked her why she has'nt got an interest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything like this

please explain?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been in your position but things were made easier by the fact that as time went by I stopped liking my now ex wife for a whole host of reasons that had nothing to do with sex.

My partner was in a similar position with her ex and as she says they ended up like brother and sister as sex was nil.

So, how important is sex to you? If it's as important as you say it is then may I respectfully suggest that a life overhaul is due? If you can rescue what you've got without bringing up resentment and accusations then good luck but if not maybe it's time to rethink things?

Of course it's easy to type comments on a forum, it's another thing entirely to be in the situation yourself.

Good luck with whatever route you decide to take. If you can look back in a few years and see that your life got better as a result of what you do now then of course you'll be better off, whatever route you take.

Personally I got out of the relationship and have never looked back.

All the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you love your wife as you say you do, she could be absolutely heartbroken at the thought of you being on a swinging site without her knowledge. When my hubby broached the subject of swinging, he just introduced it by saying he would love to see me being f****d by another man, and that he would get a huge amount of pleasure out of it. Naively, at the time, I didn't realise he meant swinging!

I was gutted initially, as I thought I wasn't enough for him, but its just the opposite, he has no interest in playing with other women, just loves the times we have with other men. It worked for us, but no saying its the right way to go about it. I don't know, its quite a dilemma for you, so good luck!

But whatever you do, you are obviously frustrated, and I think you need to discuss this with her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I start off by saying there is no need to call fellow forumites names (trogs)!!

If this helps in anyway, my experience has shown that when a relationship is in trouble, the first thing to be hit is the sex. It tends to be a sign of other bigger problems.

Perhaps u both need to see a relate councillor to help with ur marriage, then maybe u will both feel closer to eachother, and the sex drive will return??

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes when suffering from depression or when taking certain medications the first thing to go is sexual urges.

I'd ask you to please talk, really talk with your wife, reinforce how much you love her and get to the root of her problem. Ask her to tell you how it is from her perspective rather than you tell her yours. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id someone doesnt want to do something you shouldnt force them.

each of us have different tastes and enjoy different things.

this isnt for everybody. and id never be swinging if married and she wasnt interested in joining me.

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

sounds a bit one sided to us.recipe for disaster

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Sometimes when suffering from depression or when taking certain medications the first thing to go is sexual urges.

We would say this is really good advice. Also from our experience it's worth looking at other causes like the contraceptive pill. As Mrs P changed her pill and her sex drive went on holiday. We have a solid relationship, had a chat about it, one tripto the doctors later and hey presto her sex drive was back with a vengeance... We are now several years down the line and couldn't be happier.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'm always curious as to why the forums are full of "how do I get my wife involved?", but rarely ever "how do I get my husband involved?"

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It always amazes me that when married men ask for advice about meets etc they are normally told " go ask your wife to swing"

Now a married man is asking for advice on how to ask his wife to swing and that isn't right either

To the OP...I think it depends on if your wife actually likes sex and the relationship you have with her as to wether it is wise to ask or not.

After reading your other posts, I am guessing she doesn't like sex much as it is, so I can't see her wanting sex with others to improve it.

As others have said, maybe it is the contraception she is using, or she is down for some reason, there are lots of reasons why women go off sex...sadly the big one could be she doesn't enjoy sex with you.

I would talk to her about your sex life and see if that can be sorted before you ask her to join a swingers site. You are running before you can walk.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Having been single all my natural.. not the best qualified to comment.

but..

communication, understanding, kindness, encouraging, tenderness, honesty, teasing, flirting, making her feel the most important lady in the world.....

and just being there for her.

as some have mentioned, it may be something else behind the lack of a sex drive.. maybe a professional can help.

once all that is done and things are great again sexually between the 2 of you...

only then and ONLY THEN... mention SWINGING.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps... good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"to make it clear, i've been clear already that i'd like more sex in our sexlife and she has no interest. the ONLY reason i'm on here is because she doesnt want to know. If i could "sort out" our sex life then i wouldn't even be on here. come to think of it i'm deluding myself thinking she would ever be interested in anything like this, she has lost all interest, forget i said anything

Maybe you are on the wrong website and asking the wrong questions...maybe getting an understanding of female sexuality and the things that affect the female libido...and the things you as her "loving life partner"..could help her with...

maybe a more realist and humane place to try to restore your sex life as a married couple...than a swingers site...I wish your wife well..

Regards A.Troll..

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Chester

has she a weight issue body size comfort eating drinking too much wine depression take a short break away no sex then talk when you get back watch a dvd together

paul simples !!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

couple of things struck me with ops post firstly he says he happliy married except for the lack of sex. then why jepodise all the great things you have together because of one thing thing? kinda throwing the baby out with the bath water ! is your whole marridge worth loosing because youve cheated ?

i dont at all mean you have to accept situation as it ,is but think youre trying to fix YOUR issue not HERS . its all very much what YOUR wanting and YOUR needs, YOUVE told her you want more sex . have you asked her why shes got no interest ? maybe her sex drives gone due to numerous reasons above ,that can be fixed ! maybe she just not getting anything out of the sex ! you may enjoy it but does she ? you already said it seems like its a chore for her even though you do all the work..well is it the right kinda work !! ?? you could spend hours licking her out and teasing her arse but im afraid if its not what a woman wants or done way the woman wants it then its not going to get you anywhere !

it could possibly be as simple as only time youre intimate with her is for sex . if so then that causes problems . touch,kiss,caress her with no exspectation. tell her you want to spoil her and want nothing in return . women want to be desired and if she doesnt feel attractive and sexy then shes not going to want sex end of lol !

you say youve spoke to her about it but sounds like you dicussed the topic and not the actually issues behind it .you may even have to look couples therapy . maybe its none of the above but wouldnt you feel better trying the advice then throwing your marrige away . then if after trying everything theres still no change you can decide if this is a deal breaker for you both and walk away with a clear contience .

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"It always amazes me that when married men ask for advice about meets etc they are normally told " go ask your wife to swing"

Now a married man is asking for advice on how to ask his wife to swing and that isn't right either

The point is that a married man is asking strangers on a website something which they can't possibly know. He might as well ask us what she would like for her tea.

Do married couples tip-toe round the elephant in the room, or do they deal with the issues that they face, together, as one? Surely if there's a problem, both parties know about it and can deal with it accordingly, without taking offence, the same as taking the bins out and paying bills?

So, to the OP:

1. Tell the wife she IS sorting it out, rapido, book her GPs appointment for her. Go with her and tell the quack that she's not performing her wifely duties, needs a prescription, NOW.

2. If she's not interested in sorting it out, is happy without sex, so be it. The relationship isn't happy and harmonious, pack your shit up and GTFO.

3. Or, if you DO have a fantastic marriage, with the only fly in the ointment being the sex issue, tell her you are going to be getting it elsewhere. It's only sex, she'll understand, you are soul mates, right? Why would she want to see you unhappy?

4. Negotiate. She makes an effort, does some wriggling and gasping etc a couple of times a week, and you respond with a trip to Ikea and the Garden Centre without belly-aching. You will trade your acting skills with hers and pretend it's where you want to be. Life's about compromise, everyone knows that.

Oh, and get her to take it up the wrong 'un once a week and exchange that for being nice to her Mum.

5. Ask yourself why you feel it's necessary to ask strangers their advice. Perhaps the problem lies at your feet, maybe you are no good at communicating with the one person who knows you inside out. Sort that first, and maybe you'll get laid by your wife more.

The answer to your problems is right there in front of you when you look in the mirror, don't get the hump when you get told so by strangers who you are asking to give you a magical elixir.

Sorry to sound unsympathetic, but there you go, no use pussy-footing about trying not to hurt your feelings. Best of luck.

All we need now is for Stevie Wonder to post saying how thankful he is to only be blind and not black as well!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I need a drink after reading that.

Please dont mince with your words tho. Lol.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/11 20:51:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good luck fella, whatever you decide.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"It always amazes me that when married men ask for advice about meets etc they are normally told " go ask your wife to swing"

Now a married man is asking for advice on how to ask his wife to swing and that isn't right either

The point is that a married man is asking strangers on a website something which they can't possibly know. He might as well ask us what she would like for her tea.

I personally think he got some good advice from some people which was mainly to go and talk with his wife.

People ask for advice on something they are struggling on, we don't need to know all of the persons personal life to give a _iew.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

divorce her and find someone else mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why not arrange a night out in a hotel, arrnage to meet a couple guy for a drink and see if she likes being led by them..?

my ex got into swinging exactly this route.. she wasn't sure but very sexual when a guy 'hit' of her with his wife she was very inetrested and asked my permission to join...i'd arranged it...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"how would you go about suggesting/getting wife involved in swinging? She's not the most adventurous sort and I think she'd really enjoy herself if she let herself go and i'm not sure how to broach the subject. Also i figure she'd be more open to us playing with others together than me playing away and who knows, it might restart her sex drive, i dont really know.

I'm confused . anyone have any constructive thoughts?"

There are 2 things here,u criticise her sex drive,and want to swing.

Before you swing you need to find out why,in your opinion she is not sexual.Swinging only works if you are happy with the sex u are getting at home,it should be the cheese and biscuits,not the main course.

As others have said is she depressed,on medication,or god forbid i say it to a man,are you not satisfying her?

Sort out your sex life at home and i predict happy swinging.Try to sort out your sex life with swinging...well i dont predict much happiness at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a similar position to the OP when I was with my first wife.

Our sex life, although pretty good when we were first together and for some time after, just turned sour after several years. My sex drive was still high but hers was non existent.

At the time, I blamed her.... Why should it be me? I'm still horny, must be her.... Yes?

Looking back though, and been a few years wiser, maybe it was actually me where the problem lay. If I was too demanding, not supportive enough, didn't help enough round the house, with our daughter etc it could of just made her think 'fuck it, if he ain't making an effort with x,y and z then I'm not going to make an effort where he will feel it'

Of course, like others have said, new medication, stress outside your marriage, work issues etc could of taken a toll on her BUT the problem could be with YOU not her.

Personally, I, like others no doubt don't see swinging as a way to rescue a failing sex life, it's to add to and spice up an already fantastic one.

It requires good communication between you, no jealousies, no issues and 100% trust.

If you ain't got that now, swinging is gonna fuck you marriage right over.

Good luck in what ever you decide though.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a similar position to the OP when I was with my first wife.

Our sex life, although pretty good when we were first together and for some time after, just turned sour after several years. My sex drive was still high but hers was non existent.

At the time, I blamed her.... Why should it be me? I'm still horny, must be her.... Yes?

Of course, like others have said, new medication, stress outside your marriage, work issues etc could of taken a toll on her BUT the problem could be with YOU not her.

Personally, I, like others no doubt don't see swinging as a way to rescue a failing sex life, it's to add to and spice up an already fantastic one.

It requires good communication between you, no jealousies, no issues and 100% trust.

If you ain't got that now, swinging is gonna fuck you marriage right over.

Good luck in what ever you decide though.

Steve "

This rang so many bells with me....about my sex drive in my first marriage.

Hubby often worked away...he was a brilliant provider...but I often felt like a single mum to my 2 children. I did all of housework, shopping, childcare, parents evenings etc on my own. When he was at home he considered that this was his leisure time and would go out with his mates..drinking..playing rugby..going windsurfing.

The children and myself were emotionally neglected by him...and I got to the end of my tether after 14 years...I didn't want sex with him...but I had it just to keep the peace...it wasn't worth the sulking or rowing....this vicious circle..we were in just made him more distant and me more resentful.

Being shown love..respect..having help with the housework and the children would maybe have made a huge difference to my non existant sex drive.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"I was in a similar position to the OP when I was with my first wife.

Our sex life, although pretty good when we were first together and for some time after, just turned sour after several years. My sex drive was still high but hers was non existent.

At the time, I blamed her.... Why should it be me? I'm still horny, must be her.... Yes?

Of course, like others have said, new medication, stress outside your marriage, work issues etc could of taken a toll on her BUT the problem could be with YOU not her.

Personally, I, like others no doubt don't see swinging as a way to rescue a failing sex life, it's to add to and spice up an already fantastic one.

It requires good communication between you, no jealousies, no issues and 100% trust.

If you ain't got that now, swinging is gonna fuck you marriage right over.

Good luck in what ever you decide though.

Steve

This rang so many bells with me....about my sex drive in my first marriage.

Being shown love..respect..having help with the housework and the children would maybe have made a huge difference to my non existant sex drive.

i agree with all of the above, i have to say when i had my 2nd daughter i went of sex for 2 yrs, i didnt realise at the time i had post natal depression, but my hubby was understanding never once put any pressure on me, i got through it with his help and understanding and we still have an active and brilliant sex life now. All said and done think you need to sit down with your wife and have a conversation with her as to why she has sent of sex, pamper her, sometimes the small things are appreciated like giving a massage after shower/bath without wanting or leading to sex, if you have children take them out for few hours and give her time to paint her nails, read a book or whatever she does like to do. there is a 1001 things that could be suggested only you know your wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steve, you're my hero! xx

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"I was in a similar position to the OP when I was with my first wife.

Our sex life, although pretty good when we were first together and for some time after, just turned sour after several years. My sex drive was still high but hers was non existent.

At the time, I blamed her.... Why should it be me? I'm still horny, must be her.... Yes?

Of course, like others have said, new medication, stress outside your marriage, work issues etc could of taken a toll on her BUT the problem could be with YOU not her.

Personally, I, like others no doubt don't see swinging as a way to rescue a failing sex life, it's to add to and spice up an already fantastic one.

It requires good communication between you, no jealousies, no issues and 100% trust.

If you ain't got that now, swinging is gonna fuck you marriage right over.

Good luck in what ever you decide though.

Steve

This rang so many bells with me....about my sex drive in my first marriage.

Being shown love..respect..having help with the housework and the children would maybe have made a huge difference to my non existant sex drive.

i too lost all interest in sex due to pnd,twice,kev loves me and recognised another pressure was the last thing i needed.Quite frankly if he had suggested getting back to swinging then i would have lamped him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a similar position to the OP when I was with my first wife.

Our sex life, although pretty good when we were first together and for some time after, just turned sour after several years. My sex drive was still high but hers was non existent.

At the time, I blamed her.... Why should it be me? I'm still horny, must be her.... Yes?

Of course, like others have said, new medication, stress outside your marriage, work issues etc could of taken a toll on her BUT the problem could be with YOU not her.

Personally, I, like others no doubt don't see swinging as a way to rescue a failing sex life, it's to add to and spice up an already fantastic one.

It requires good communication between you, no jealousies, no issues and 100% trust.

If you ain't got that now, swinging is gonna fuck you marriage right over.

Good luck in what ever you decide though.

Steve "

i agree with that communication is everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally i think if you want to do this with your partner you just have to come right out and ask them

you may get a smack in the nose lol you maybe suprised but if you dont ask how will you ever know?

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Would be great to get an update from the OP about what has happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/04/11 11:27:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some advice from some someone who really knows how lack of communication just destroys a relationship ..i really truly beleive it is the ONE thing you have to get right and then everything else falls into place ...be honest with each other and say what you really think .. You might even find you shouldnt be together but that isnt a bad thing because everyone deserves to have a life they are happy in ?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its good you still love your wife now its time to respect her dont mention swinging until you have your sex life on track!!

Have you thought about showing her how much you love her and how much you miss the closeness sex brings. When you do have sex ask her what she would like you to do what really turns her on !!!!!!

You could start by cooking her a romantic meal, if you have kids is there a family member who would have them at theirs for the night (women feel less sexy and constantly tired after having children) and this would take the pressure off her having to get up earlie to look after them

Give her a massage but dont expect it to lead sex let her guide you on how she feels and if it happens then good if it dont so what!!! dont give up.

but also you need to talk about the things that turn her on if she feels your trying it may rekindle her feelings of desire but make it all about her until your sex life is on track.

You can then talk about the things that turn you both on.

Try it and see if it works I must say though it wont happen overnight it may take a little time so be patient and dont give up

good luck and hope it works

Jayne (aka sthwalescpl)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many things raised here rang bells with me. My ex was in the forces, I virtually raised the family alone, worked ran the house and like another said, when he was home it was rugby, windsurfing, drinking with his mates. He holidayed at home. I used to make sure I was my most alluring for him when he returned home but nothing worked. The final insult was when I discovered he was having an affair with another woman. I lost all respect for him, withdrew all support and divorced him after 20 years together.

OP do you really think seeking sex elsewhere with swingers will make her into a sex goddess overnight......it could just force her to kick you to the kerb, and fast. my husband swore he loved me and it was just sex, in fact I got more from him all the time he was having an affair because of him feeling guilty........it immediately made me suspicious, female intuition is a wonderful thing....don't underestimate it. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a similar position to the OP when I was with my first wife.

Our sex life, although pretty good when we were first together and for some time after, just turned sour after several years. My sex drive was still high but hers was non existent.

At the time, I blamed her.... Why should it be me? I'm still horny, must be her.... Yes?

Of course, like others have said, new medication, stress outside your marriage, work issues etc could of taken a toll on her BUT the problem could be with YOU not her.

Personally, I, like others no doubt don't see swinging as a way to rescue a failing sex life, it's to add to and spice up an already fantastic one.

It requires good communication between you, no jealousies, no issues and 100% trust.

If you ain't got that now, swinging is gonna fuck you marriage right over.

Good luck in what ever you decide though.

Steve

This rang so many bells with me....about my sex drive in my first marriage.

Being shown love..respect..having help with the housework and the children would maybe have made a huge difference to my non existant sex drive.

God this sounds just like my marriage. Husband going to work. Me doing all the house stuff and kids stuff and holding down a 50 hour a week self employed job caring for other peoples kids as well as my own. When he got home his attitude was " you've been home all day i've been at work. So I was too tired for sex and only did it to keep the peace. In the end I couldn't stand for him to even give me a cuddle.

He'd walk in the door disappear upstairs and not even talk to us for an hour until he said he'd had some quiet time.

Sex does go out the window when you feel unappreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we shouldn't spend our time pouring our hearts out ...trying to give the O.P an insight into a women's perspective on low libido....his status update is truely remarkable ladies...

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

"Maybe we shouldn't spend our time pouring our hearts out ...trying to give the O.P an insight into a women's perspective on low libido....his status update is truely remarkable ladies...

Think you may have a point. Ive only one word for op's update "Priorities"

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Jut read the ops profile, apparently he thinks we are all here to have sex without any consideration of the moral consequences.

i would like to say i am certainly not here for the same reasons as him!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe we shouldn't spend our time pouring our hearts out ...trying to give the O.P an insight into a women's perspective on low libido....his status update is truely remarkable ladies...

Think you may have a point. Ive only one word for op's update "Priorities""

LMAO...yep...probably the kind of project my ex hubby was working on ..when he was in his "shed"...

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By *iscreetDevonFun OP Man
over a year ago

north devon

yay. lots of posts i've read them all and i've decided to not be such a worthless d**k. I'm deleting the account and shelving the "project" :P. I'm going to spend more time supporting my wife, get her stupid implant out of her arm, try and help her feel more alive, lose some weight, tidy up my crap, spend more time with the kids and try and be a better husband. I would like to point out however that i do help out with the kids, i do cook meals, i do help with the housework when required, i'm happy to take my wife shopping and i dont think women are on here to do whatever and screw the morals.

Thanks for all the advice i've taken it to heart. If we sort things out between us i hope i'll be back one day with other half

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bye and good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dnt feel the last part of your spill is really needed...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"yay. lots of posts i've read them all and i've decided to not be such a worthless d**k. I'm deleting the account and shelving the "project" :P. I'm going to spend more time supporting my wife, get her stupid implant out of her arm, try and help her feel more alive, lose some weight, tidy up my crap, spend more time with the kids and try and be a better husband. I would like to point out however that i do help out with the kids, i do cook meals, i do help with the housework when required, i'm happy to take my wife shopping and i dont think women are on here to do whatever and screw the morals.

Thanks for all the advice i've taken it to heart. If we sort things out between us i hope i'll be back one day with other half

xx"

Good luck

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

What a lovely post to read!

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

Is there a prize for guessing what his new profile name is?

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By *onghMan
over a year ago

cardiff

"Is there a prize for guessing what his new profile name is?

and your point is?

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"Is there a prize for guessing what his new profile name is?

and your point is?"

What would you surmise it is, Einstein?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a prize for guessing what his new profile name is?

and your point is?

What would you surmise it is, Einstein?"

Oh I dunno that we'll have to - he's still here

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By *risky_FunCouple
over a year ago

north shore

Last login: 21 Hours Ago!

But I shan't judge - as there may have been extraordinary circumstances while his profile is still activated - like...um... He told her he was on here, she said "damn so am I and I've shagged so many men I'm just exhausted when you get home" - Big Black Bernie is all arranged for this weekend.....and he has a new strap-on...just for you sweetie... lol

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

hardly think anyones shocked the ops still here after making such a song and dance of turning of a new leaf . that of course is his right to leave site or not as he chooses . just reminds me of the saying actions speak louder than words . anyone can pontificate ,but without the actual actions to back it their words are empty and meaningless .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" hardly think anyones shocked the ops still here after making such a song and dance of turning of a new leaf . that of course is his right to leave site or not as he chooses . just reminds me of the saying actions speak louder than words . anyone can pontificate ,but without the actual actions to back it their words are empty and meaningless ."

Totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"she already knows i want more, she's just not got any interest in sex anymore

I had exactly the same thing from my ex,

no interest in sex for months,maybe get lucky if we both got pissed,then a general lack of affection,I never read the signs as I loved her to bits !!!

But it all boiled down to the fact she no longer loved me !!! and she couldn't tell me !!!!

She then had an affair that I found out about and it all came out !!!.

So rather than try and get your wife to try swinging try and found out why the lack of interest.

I truly hope that your's is a different scenario than mine,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"she already knows i want more, she's just not got any interest in sex anymore

I had exactly the same thing from my ex,

no interest in sex for months,maybe get lucky if we both got pissed,then a general lack of affection,I never read the signs as I loved her to bits !!!

But it all boiled down to the fact she no longer loved me !!! and she couldn't tell me !!!!

She then had an affair that I found out about and it all came out !!!.

So rather than try and get your wife to try swinging try and found out why the lack of interest.

I truly hope that your's is a different scenario than mine,

I think being honest you should concentrate on finding why she isnt interested in sex anymore. I would urge you to use caution and consider her feelings for a moment rather than your own.

If you suggest swinging you will heighten her fears and her insecurities, and probably cause her to withdraw into herself further.

Plan a romantic night for you both and get the mood right and be a friend to her, listen to her and put it acorss to her that you know something is wrong and its not helping either of you. Dont push though give her time to open up hold her handas you talk and be like a newly wed couple look into her eyes and be comforting to her not sleazy.

If done right she will open up in time an dyou will find your relationship will deepen and then once you are both secure and happy then consider talking about swinging. I would guess its potential home wrecking stuff if you push her or go behind her back.

Well thats my thoughts on the matter, all the best to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about starting by telling her that you've been a member for three weeks and your looking for other women or couples. That should break the ice!

In all honesty i think this says it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused . anyone have any constructive thoughts?"

not being funny but why would you even think a woman with no sex drive is going to want to swing?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Look the OP has the same profile as when he posted.He is just another married guy looking to screw around on his wife.If Admin cannot block adulterers can we at least avoid there self pitying posts.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Some great advice guys. Very useful. Have lost my sex drive twice, once yesterday morning, and once during dinner tonight...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not being funny but why would you even think a woman with no sex drive is going to want to swing?

he doesn't care he's just looking for a reason to cheat! thats how it looks to me!

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

[Removed by poster at 30/04/11 12:42:57]

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

"Look the OP has the same profile as when he posted.He is just another married guy looking to screw around on his wife.If Admin cannot block adulterers can we at least avoid there self pitying posts."

Depends on what you think Forums are for I guess. Entertainment and exchanging of _iews or judgement and sentencing of some by others? Just asking....

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

i went off sex in my first marrage i just didnt want him i did every thing to avoid having sex with him. now with my new hub im a swinger and i love it and i love my hub many of my friends dont have sex with there hubs. and its the same reason

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