FabSwingers.com forum: Rubbish Sex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This may just be my relative naivety and lack of confidence... But I really don't know how to deal with crap sex during meets. I try and give some guidance, but mostly it's just ignored. I also tell guys before I meet them what I like. But again, that's mostly ignored. I might just be picking the wrong guys, but I've been really underwhelmed by all of them so far! I've found guys to be generally pretty selfish and a bit lazy. I've yet to have an orgasm from a single guy I've met, unless I've taken matters into my own hands (literally!)

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id rather be told if I'm doing something wrong then left to flail about haha

Seriously pointers are a good thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

I'm guessing it's your selection criteria if it keeps on happening rather than just a single one off - how are you picking these guys?

It should be pretty routine to discuss likes etc before a meet and for that to be respected

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've once told a meet i wasn't feeling it, he was a regular meet though and i felt comfortable enough with him to do this. it wasn't even anything to do with him, it was me just genuinely not feeling it.

i tend to be more dominant sexually, therefore meaning i will be more in control of sex and therefore more likely to enjoy it. i often don't cum during sex with randoms but it's not the cumming i'm aiming for anyway, it's the whole experience. so no tips for you there really.

maybe find out, and work on, what you enjoy sexually and know will make you cum?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rin0nightCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Speaking as a male part of a couple here, I think you had a lot of bad luck. It's Ok, to stop, it's ok to show how to and where to do things you like. Everybody is differently build and everybody have their own likes and special spots and it's all right to point them out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I talk to them for a bit. Talk about likes/dislikes, expectations, rules, etc. Guys always say that they 'love pleasuring a woman' but it's not true, in my experience.

I might have just had bad luck!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talk to them for a bit. Talk about likes/dislikes, expectations, rules, etc. Guys always say that they 'love pleasuring a woman' but it's not true, in my experience.

I might have just had bad luck!"

I think its maybe worth remembering that what one women loves might do sweet fa for another, speaking from experience. Not that I claim to be gods gift haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you dont turn them on enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing it's your selection criteria if it keeps on happening rather than just a single one off"

This

This problem is what verifications are for!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I read verifications. I'm yet to read one that says 'to be honest, he's not that good at oral.' Nobody would ever be brutally honest...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"This may just be my relative naivety and lack of confidence... But I really don't know how to deal with crap sex during meets. I try and give some guidance, but mostly it's just ignored. I also tell guys before I meet them what I like. But again, that's mostly ignored. I might just be picking the wrong guys, but I've been really underwhelmed by all of them so far! I've found guys to be generally pretty selfish and a bit lazy. I've yet to have an orgasm from a single guy I've met, unless I've taken matters into my own hands (literally!)

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

Go with a couple, preferably us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ogue78Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

direction is the path to true enlightenment!

we all may think that we're all sex gods, or goddesses, yet each person is different. so what works on one person, will not work on another.

i prefer to be told if I'm doing something wrong, leads to a much better time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I read verifications. I'm yet to read one that says 'to be honest, he's not that good at oral.' Nobody would ever be brutally honest..."

You need to look for ones that say OMG this guy is great at oral, no less than great veris in the area that you get the most out of!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

How would one feel if they were told in the middle of sex they were crap.. "prefer to be told" doesnt really make you want to stay and talk about how crap you was..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield

Everyone is different, you know your body better than anyway, never be scared to guide a man around it, sounds like you have just choose the wrong guys, put it down to experience and choose me next lol

and i agree about the veris x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol just because someone has a lot of sex in here doesn't mean the are any good. One guy in my local area gets 2 or 3 meets a week. A friend hooked up with him and he lasted 2 seconds and then dressed and left.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would one feel if they were told in the middle of sex they were crap.. "prefer to be told" doesnt really make you want to stay and talk about how crap you was.. "

you don't tell them they're crap though, just that you don't like what they're doing and prefer it a different way.

although i have told guys as they're leaving that i don't want to see them again, but never said it was because they were crap.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt want to be told im crap but if a women isnt enjoying something im doing id like her to guide me where she wants me but if your doing that and theyre nit listening it means your picking selfish assholes who have no interest in your pleasure just have faith that were not all the same

And also remember us ugly guys aim to please we never know when we might get lucky again and want to make the most of it haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read verifications. I'm yet to read one that says 'to be honest, he's not that good at oral.' Nobody would ever be brutally honest..."

Touche

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK, I will heed all the advice. Thank you.

And if anyone has any particularly good recommendations of who can break the rut for me, let me know! Hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

the guys must be very self absorbed if they can't detect your lack of enjoyment which means only one thing you have been unlucky enough to pick a selfish man and no amount of nudges in the right direction will change that fact

the only advice I can give you for avoiding such situations is to have a social that ends in a naughty grope if the grope is good then and only then think about taking it further .

taking that route should sort out those who don't have a clue between the sheets

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

Consider if verifications have come from repeat meets. .. if they are really bad would you go back for seconds?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Consider if verifications have come from repeat meets. .. if they are really bad would you go back for seconds?

Could be some form of Stockholm syndrome...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK, I will heed all the advice. Thank you.

And if anyone has any particularly good recommendations of who can break the rut for me, let me know! Hahaha

Hence the real reason of the post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK, I will heed all the advice. Thank you.

And if anyone has any particularly good recommendations of who can break the rut for me, let me know! Hahaha

Hence the real reason of the post

Ha, it wasn't, but hey, I'm an opportunist!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orn_ball11Man
over a year ago

Portrush

Guide them tell them what does it for you be vocal with time & guidance you will prevail...As everyone male/female we all have different ways of getting off, I wouldn't like to stop in mid flow as wouldn't be fair or polite... there be tumble blowing bye like the old westerns if we where as bold as to do so... lol your a blast on that account lol...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would definatly want to know if it wasn't working for you. Though honestly, if your even the least bit interested in your partner, you can tell anyway.

Pointers are a good thing, listening to your partner's body is essential. Find someone who gets off in getting you off!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talk to them for a bit. Talk about likes/dislikes, expectations, rules, etc. Guys always say that they 'love pleasuring a woman' but it's not true, in my experience.

I might have just had bad luck!"

Check out my veri. Drop me a line.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"OK, I will heed all the advice. Thank you.

And if anyone has any particularly good recommendations of who can break the rut for me, let me know! Hahaha

Hence the real reason of the post

Ha, it wasn't, but hey, I'm an opportunist!"

I'm fucking awesome at oral on ladies (so I've been told!) and in a hotel right now in York. But you're not bi...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm guessing it's your selection criteria if it keeps on happening rather than just a single one off

This

This problem is what verifications are for!!"

I don't agree....I've met guys with amazing verifications and the sex for me was crap and I'm guessing visa versa. I have great genuine verifications from guys who think I'm amazing bit I've had guys who give basic verifications and don't ask to meet agsin.

I guess it's horses for courses. Sex is a very random thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK, I will heed all the advice. Thank you.

And if anyone has any particularly good recommendations of who can break the rut for me, let me know! Hahaha

Hence the real reason of the post

Ha, it wasn't, but hey, I'm an opportunist!

I'm fucking awesome at oral on ladies (so I've been told!) and in a hotel right now in York. But you're not bi...

Haha, maybe that's the real reason I'm having problems

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cum, like 99% of the time, so i guess I'm pretty good at sexing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Consider if verifications have come from repeat meets. .. if they are really bad would you go back for seconds?

Could be some form of Stockholm syndrome... "

That could be a whole other discussion lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

If the sex is crap you might as well leave. If a man offered me guidance as to what I was doing wrong during a sexual meet, I would slap his face and leave. Sounds like you are expecting them to perform for you, they are real life men- not walking dildos, bet they would love reading on here you think they were crap XXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *restlerPhilxxxMan
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

Personally I have found I don't enjoy one offs, if you meet someone socially, get to know them and build up the play when you do have sex it is soo much more powerful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gLMSf4afzo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talk to them for a bit. Talk about likes/dislikes, expectations, rules, etc. Guys always say that they 'love pleasuring a woman' but it's not true, in my experience.

I might have just had bad luck!"

Sounds like real bad luck...but as a previous poster said since its happening often maybe your looking at the wrong type of guy.... what attracts you firstly to the types you're meeting...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no hesitation in stopping play if I'm not feeling it. If it's not doing anything for me there's no point in continuing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's usually the quiet ones who turn out to be sex gods.

Avoid anyone who says they can muff dive for hours, that to me throws questions over their actual fucking ability.

But then I prefer to be pounded than licked so....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"It's usually the quiet ones who turn out to be sex gods.

Avoid anyone who says they can muff dive for hours, that to me throws questions over their actual fucking ability.

But then I prefer to be pounded than licked so....

I'm the opposite! So, goes to show that we all need to communicate before getting down to it

. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well think I better stay quiet on this ?? But I'm new so be reyt ?? Someone told me this I'd be heartbroken ?? And just get a beer or 12 so not that bad a thing after all haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always had regular guys and we get to know one another likes and dislikes which makes the sex better and better , I don't do one offs it's never been my thing ... !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"OK, I will heed all the advice. Thank you.

And if anyone has any particularly good recommendations of who can break the rut for me, let me know! Hahaha

Be assertive, I have found I have so much more fun and pleasure guiding and sometimes ordering the man to do stuff. Communication is the key. You don't need to tell them they are crap, just say what you like or want. It's also ok to say stop and no

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you're picking the wrong guys!

I'm not sure how you meet but I like to build up a rapport beforehand, get a feel of their / mine likes & dislikes.

So far so good, have only had one or two (not off here) that I would say we were incompatible as opposed to the sex was bad.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would make sure an orgasm at least is achieved for both parties

but yeah I think you have poor choosing :p

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what I do ,if there crap tell them you are going to use a toy and cum for them ,some love watching a woman cum with toys .........then again bad sex cannot be as worse as having sombody faint on you due to cramp in there leg lol ,it happened to me I had to put the bloke in recovery position untill he came round then I sent him packing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on then...ill listen to your guidance....fancy a shag

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trouble is, you can only try to guide them so many times until you give up out of pure frustration. So many guys might take on board what you're saying for a couple of minutes but then revert back to whatever it is they want to do/enjoy doing!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unlad1990Man
over a year ago

Briley hill

For quality come my way x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's usually the quiet ones who turn out to be sex gods.

Avoid anyone who says they can muff dive for hours, that to me throws questions over their actual fucking ability.

But then I prefer to be pounded than licked so....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd consider meeting at clubs for a while, so that you've got others that you can fall back with, so that you can get better fun.

I've stopped a meet, when someone just can't get to meet my needs. You can definitely talk in depth with people but not all will get what you mean - or even want to. Some will say what you want to hear, so skilled are they at deception, so that they get a meet or to continue.

At a club, where there are others around, you could have others join in, or just leave the guy who can't do it to his own devices.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

If I was playing with a lady and she really was not feeling it was working for her...I would rather she said. No need prolonging something that one participant is not enjoying.

There are selfish guys on here, but also some very unselfish lovers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm great at sex! I always cum first

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

I'm shocked that you are asking is I ok to stop if your not enjoying it, maybe the question here is why would you continue if your not enjoying yourself?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

Ok I've just looked at you profile and the first line says "Need a guy to sort me out in the gym... And the bedroom!

This sends me (and probably any other guy) a message that; you just want a fuck and aren't fussy about who or how or even what you really want. It's JUST a fuck you want!

But your post says you have a specific set of requirements that aren't being met.

But you've not mentioned them, so how does the guy your looking for know?

By the time you've met, he's got expectations of what he's going to do to you, and his dick is in control.

The only bit of his brain that might still working is his ego -and that says to any bloke "YOUR THE BEST SHAGGER IN THE WORLD!" So of course his not going to, either listen to what your saying, or what your trying to say. He's THE BEST so how can he do it wrong!

So my advise is

A) change your profile - tell them you have specific requirements from your lover! that will reduce the men that will respond.

B) Ask for a courteous lover that will again reduce the men that apply (eliminate the egoists wham bam's).

C) Then discuss your want/needs before ever meeting. get him to confirm he can meet your req's.

D) Then meet socially (no sex) and see how he treats you, if you do click go to E

E) Go to 2nd base on the 2nd meet.

Don't forget this site is full of men looking for a quick shag to relieve their needs. And your expecting them to meet your needs.

F) stop being so needy. Its a turn off for guys, as much as a needy guy is a turn off for women.

Good hunting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

NO - under no circumstances should you tell us to stop and point us in the right direction..

.... ffs.. YES of course tell us to stop and tell us what you like and how you like it, scream it into our faces of need be ... males for the most part (myself included) are dumb creatures who need direction...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hingford manMan
over a year ago

highams park East London

"I talk to them for a bit. Talk about likes/dislikes, expectations, rules, etc. Guys always say that they 'love pleasuring a woman' but it's not true, in my experience.

I might have just had bad luck!"

Please please don't say all, as someone who suffers

early ejac probs I try to give her as good a orgasm as she has had oraly, well iv been told that before I hope it's true lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

I've had one regular meet that has yet to even ....how to put this... find the right place to put it. I haven't found a way to tell him yet or find a way to stop meeting cause he's a nice enough guy. No one on here BTW.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

am i the odd one then, as a guy, the last few women i've met are unadventurous and will just want to do standard missionary until they orgasm, and nothing else...

now i lose interest just at the thought of a meet with some of these women

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had one regular meet that has yet to even ....how to put this... find the right place to put it. I haven't found a way to tell him yet or find a way to stop meeting cause he's a nice enough guy. No one on here BTW."

Stockholm syndrome?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Tend to explore things before even the thought of fun comes up. Usually pick up on any limitations if there are going to be any.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rufflesCouple
over a year ago

manchester

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

Speaking from experience as a couple who enjoy MMF meets. Wife claims that only aprox 1 in 5 meets are sexually satisfying for her. She says majority of males spend a lot of time doing what THEY think is right. Its very difficult and somewhat insulting to stop them...end result is she usually fakes orgasms and is left frustrated. On reflection we feel that maybe its the surreal situation and expectations to please that affects the situation. A regular f/b is def the answer!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I'd rather know if it's not doing anything for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

Every woman is different n I would never have a problem with her telling me what to do . I met ladies n each cums differently some cum easy n others I have to take longer to get them to cum .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

A regular fb is d best way cos at least u get use to each other

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I've just looked at you profile and the first line says "Need a guy to sort me out in the gym... And the bedroom!

...

A) change your profile

...

I just want to second this, taken with the age range you are asking for, it is no surprise you are getting a high proportion of immature, narcissistic, selfish gym bunnies.

And in your profile say what you like.

At a meet, rather than say 'don't do that' it is better to say 'do do this' or 'I like this'. Positive feedback is hot.

Hope that helps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

[Removed by poster at 27/07/16 07:49:28]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

I think that even in the swinging world there has to be a connection for the sex to be good. Ive learnt a lot during my time here abs the main thing is that attraction has nothing to do with looks although they do help alittle, its all about having a connection

If your going for the young lads is no wonder. I see it a lot in clubs, guys jumping in, ramming away for 5 minutes then they pull out, say thanks, then go looking for the next victim.

In my humble opinion you should

1) raise your age range

2) read my veris and profile

3) message me

Haha

I'll not promise you an orgasm but I will promise you that I'd at least try to pleasure you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I obviously discuss wants/needs in depth, as I've previously stated.

I feel 'you're looking for a fuck' is very accusatory, although completely misplaced on a site like this - isn't everyone?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

Your veris say you have only met one man?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"I obviously discuss wants/needs in depth, as I've previously stated.

I feel 'you're looking for a fuck' is very accusatory, although completely misplaced on a site like this - isn't everyone?! "

Not everyone is here for the sex on its own every person wants different things.

Maybe add more information on your profile.

I personally don't want fuck & go and say that. My chats are more non sexual (amazing how much I learn that way!) And if I'm not sure about even meeting for coffee then I say no thank you. I'd rather by passing the odd good one rather than see a load of disappointments.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Nope, many of us are here for more than a fuck.

What about getting to know someone a bit before taking things to the bedroom?

What about foreplay, what about suggestive chat?

Swinging has always had a social aspect and is not just about fucking. Often the crap meets are people who are just here for a fuck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok I've just looked at you profile and the first line says "Need a guy to sort me out in the gym... And the bedroom!

This sends me (and probably any other guy) a message that; you just want a fuck and aren't fussy about who or how or even what you really want. It's JUST a fuck you want!

But your post says you have a specific set of requirements that aren't being met.

But you've not mentioned them, so how does the guy your looking for know?

By the time you've met, he's got expectations of what he's going to do to you, and his dick is in control.

So my advise is

A) change your profile - tell them you have specific requirements from your lover! that will reduce the men that will respond.

B) Ask for a courteous lover that will again reduce the men that apply (eliminate the egoists wham bam's).

C) Then discuss your want/needs before ever meeting. get him to confirm he can meet your req's.

D) Then meet socially (no sex) and see how he treats you, if you do click go to E

E) Go to 2nd base on the 2nd meet.

Don't forget this site is full of men looking for a quick shag to relieve their needs. And your expecting them to meet your needs.

F) stop being so needy. Its a turn off for guys, as much as a needy guy is a turn off for women.

Good hunting.

1. I obviously am very fussy, and I find the accusation that I'm not actually a bit of an insult. I do not 'shag' just anyone, far far from it. I have no idea what the gym thing has to do with anything. I do attract guys that look after themselves so thought I'd ask the question, and I've actually found a couple of guys to help me train without sex being on the agenda. No harm in that! Or perhaps that's a completely alien concept?

2. In terms of specific requirements, I always have the conversation about it before arranging a meet. I am very clear about rules, likes, dislikes, etc. I also spend plenty of time chatting to the guys before anything happens. The last meet, for example, we spent about 2 hours talking before getting down to it. I trust that's acceptable?

3. I won't change my profile. I had my list of requirements and rules on there previously, and it didn't make a difference. I talk to guys for long enough before arranging a meet, so I'm confident that's not the issue. I asked for the specific advise as to what to do in the situation if I'm not enjoying it, and what others have done in that situation.

4. I could write absolutely anything on my profile and still get the same men responding. It's not a problem, as I said, I don't arrange meets with every guy who messages. But again, that isn't the advice I asked for.

5. As I've said a few times, no guy is going to say that he's average in bed if he wants sex. And verifications are also unreliable.

6. If I had the time to meet socially, I wouldn't be on here. But I do ensure there's plenty of time for it during meets. And I have had meets that have turned into socials when we've realised we don't click.

7. I'll be as needy as I bloody well want!! It's incredibly contradictory to say that. So if I feel my needs aren't being met, I should shut up because the guy might get turned off!!? Wow. Think someone has watched too much porn if that's your attitude towards a woman's role during sex...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha.

Your veris say you have only met one man?

I've been on previously and deleted my profile, so lost verifications.

I also don't have loads of meets, and I'm actually happy to just have one verification tbh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok I've just looked at you profile and the first line says "Need a guy to sort me out in the gym... And the bedroom!

...

A) change your profile

...

I just want to second this, taken with the age range you are asking for, it is no surprise you are getting a high proportion of immature, narcissistic, selfish gym bunnies.

And in your profile say what you like.

At a meet, rather than say 'don't do that' it is better to say 'do do this' or 'I like this'. Positive feedback is hot.

Hope that helps

I can't help being attracted to guys around my age who look after themselves...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Having needs is not the same as being needy....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having needs is not the same as being needy...."

Yes...?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha.

Your veris say you have only met one man?

I've been on previously and deleted my profile, so lost verifications.

I also don't have loads of meets, and I'm actually happy to just have one verification tbh."

Tbh the few meets we have had have been good in one way or another - it hasn't been mind blowing sex by others that have joined us but I think it's fair to say they have all brought something to the table - having said that- for me the fact that Mark is always there and knows exactly what I like makes sure that each meet ends up great

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?"

For me, No, it would not be OK, then again I wouldnt meet if there were constraints.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

Giving pointers to what you like / dislike is a good thing, i usually ask anyway as its no good me fiddling with her little toe for half hour when i could be concentrating on areas she does like.

Be more dominent on your likes as a lot of guys won't give oral but expect it in return, if you are getting shit sex after you have told them give the same in return or say you have an headache & end the meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

""And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?"

For me, No, it would not be OK, then again I wouldnt meet if there were constraints.

Why wouldn't it be OK? Sex is consensual

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I've just looked at you profile and the first line says "Need a guy to sort me out in the gym... And the bedroom!

...

A) change your profile

...

I just want to second this, taken with the age range you are asking for, it is no surprise you are getting a high proportion of immature, narcissistic, selfish gym bunnies.

And in your profile say what you like.

At a meet, rather than say 'don't do that' it is better to say 'do do this' or 'I like this'. Positive feedback is hot.

Hope that helps

I can't help being attracted to guys around my age who look after themselves..."

And how's that working out for you ?

Ask yourself why the sex is crap .

The answer is staring you in the face if you think about it .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

""And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?"

For me, No, it would not be OK, then again I wouldnt meet if there were constraints.

So you don't give a shit if the woman is enjoying it it not, so long as you get your rocks off your happy eh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?"

For me, No, it would not be OK, then again I wouldnt meet if there were constraints.

"
why couldn't someone stop if it was crap. ive done this often in clubs.

yes Op its okay to just say sorry not feeling it if you have tried to do everything to get them to improve.

and id not say its bad luck..there are just an awful lot of guys on here who think that emptying their balls is enough

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

[Removed by poster at 29/07/16 10:27:33]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

To carry on when a woman wants to stop is assault. Someone can say stop or no at any point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a still inexperienced male found that I was scared stiff about how I performed when meeting a lady but on meeting my partner I felt that if I concentrated on her wants and needs it would make things easier ? It did but I also found that so much more fun could be had exciting her than just pounding away ?

So like most have said its about who your picking and their expectations !

If they think you just need a good pounding then go ? That's all you'll get ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id rather be told if I'm not doing something the way you like it. Meets can be tricky because you don't have that build up and time and getting to know someone to know what they like and what works for them. So is happily be guided to make sure you were enjoying yourself rather than go away thinking you'd had a crap time, or worse leave thinking you'd had a great time and find out after you hadn't enjoyed it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oby HarrisonCouple
over a year ago

Worksop

you are picking the wrong guys, and the age group too is also bad.

older men know what they are doing and care what they do also, where younger ones sorry lads but it true only care about what can be done for them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you are picking the wrong guys, and the age group too is also bad.

older men know what they are doing and care what they do also, where younger ones sorry lads but it true only care about what can be done for them"

not true at all in my case.

older guys have done a surprise blow and go on me, and one thought it was ok to have sex with me in my sleep. but some have been good also.

i've had a lot of good sex with guys in their 20s and 30s. and none of them have tried to con me into blow and go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I'm guessing it's your selection criteria if it keeps on happening rather than just a single one off - how are you picking these guys?

It should be pretty routine to discuss likes etc before a meet and for that to be respected "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"To carry on when a woman wants to stop is assault. Someone can say stop or no at any point."

I have had some say stop - and when I did - they were disappointed as that was part of their fantasy. Always agree a safe word beforehand...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's usually the quiet ones who turn out to be sex gods.

Avoid anyone who says they can muff dive for hours, that to me throws questions over their actual fucking ability.

But then I prefer to be pounded than licked so....

I'm the opposite! So, goes to show that we all need to communicate before getting down to it

. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone did that to me, they would not get a second meet, more like a block!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh its an absolute must to call a halt and take them step by step through the do this do that to get you to where you want to be , if theyvhavent got it by the second time drag em to the dumpster flip the lid n toss em in .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its all about the build up. If your messaging guys and they turn you on mentally then your half way there...like someone said... make it clear what you like and what turns you on...Trust your instincts...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iggiandyMan
over a year ago

York

I enjoy giving a lady oral and have had the pleasure of a couple of them squirting with me. Unfortunately I'm outside your age range and I'm married too. Good luck though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

"Ok I've just looked at you profile and the first line says "Need a guy to sort me out in the gym... And the bedroom!

This sends me (and probably any other guy) a message that; you just want a fuck and aren't fussy about who or how or even what you really want. It's JUST a fuck you want!

But your post says you have a specific set of requirements that aren't being met.

But you've not mentioned them, so how does the guy your looking for know?

By the time you've met, he's got expectations of what he's going to do to you, and his dick is in control.

So my advise is

A) change your profile - tell them you have specific requirements from your lover! that will reduce the men that will respond.

B) Ask for a courteous lover that will again reduce the men that apply (eliminate the egoists wham bam's).

C) Then discuss your want/needs before ever meeting. get him to confirm he can meet your req's.

D) Then meet socially (no sex) and see how he treats you, if you do click go to E

E) Go to 2nd base on the 2nd meet.

Don't forget this site is full of men looking for a quick shag to relieve their needs. And your expecting them to meet your needs.

F) stop being so needy. Its a turn off for guys, as much as a needy guy is a turn off for women.

Good hunting.

5. As I've said a few times, no guy is going to say that he's average in bed if he wants sex. And verifications are also unreliable.

So why does'nt your profile say that ?

I can only guess from you comments that your too busy to writ a decent one!

Hence you get what you ask for - simples.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've yet to have an orgasm from a single guy I've met, unless I've taken matters into my own hands (literally!)

Sounds like a challenge...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

i have had a few meets like that in the past and i just hoped they would hurry up and go, i think we just werent compatable, no chemistry, which is why i am now so careful who i choose to meet.

i have had some good meets and some ok meets too though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had some fabulous sex with each other this afternoon just saying!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never expect the sex to be good on a first meet because, basically I'm bloody hard to please lol. That's why I like friends we can meet up with regularly and get to know what makes each other tick.

Mrs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

If you're getting ignored - stop. I wouldn't even suggest anything else, that's meet over.

any decent guy will appreciate feedback, guidance and anyone who thinks "they know best" just shows an arrogance that isn't probably going to cut it either.

Personally I'd rather someone tell me it's not working and call it a day. You can't please all the people all of the time.

Saying that, I'd like to think most guys in this scene have had plenty of experience. Unfortunately I've seen it first hand lots of guys seem very 1 dimensional in their approach to playing.

Good luck. It's your body, your fun. Do it your way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never expect the sex to be good on a first meet because, basically I'm bloody hard to please lol. That's why I like friends we can meet up with regularly and get to know what makes each other tick.

Mrs x"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oderndaylivesCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I read verifications. I'm yet to read one that says 'to be honest, he's not that good at oral.' Nobody would ever be brutally honest..."

This is one of the funniest threads I've read in ages. But I feel you. The struggle is real! I tend to stick to clubs that way if the sex is bad you can move on. I only meet one on one if we have played before. That way I know I'm not wasting my time. Though I probably wouldn't say anything unless it was painful or weird or annoying. Id just try and get it over with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, ladies, I was wondering what you would do in these situations?

And guys, is it OK to just stop you and tell you I'm not enjoying it?!! I don't like awkward conversations... ha. "

Wrong guys

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read verifications. I'm yet to read one that says 'to be honest, he's not that good at oral.' Nobody would ever be brutally honest..."

Some of us genuinely enjoy pleasuring a lady .. I prefer to give pleasure and have lots of teasing and foreplay rather than penetration .. Teasing and sucking your clit with a finger just inside you and make sure you cum which is the biggest turn on and enjoyment for me .. Penetration is over rated ... A long teasing wank after she cums first is heaven

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread