FabSwingers.com forum: "Aw go on babe..."

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That sounds about right. It's the whining that accompanies the request that is so look very unattractive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you actually respond to a mail saying you are not interested then the guy should take that as end of conversation!

I think one of the things that make most guys unsure is if a message is unread after a few days is it okay to try messaging again as it is unclear whether the lady in question isn't interested or the message you sent has just got lost within the hundreds she has likely received

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would say reasonable hun if they cant take a polite no thankyou in a message what else would they get pushy about or ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you actually respond to a mail saying you are not interested then the guy should take that as end of conversation!

See now thats the tricky one, as lot of people will read the message to mark it as unread lol

Mind games on mind games

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, it's a sweeping generalisation but I wouldn't be keen on being alone in a room with a guy if he can't take a no over the interweb.

You have to err on the side of caution. (Although I do realise not every guy us the same.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

reasonable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?"

I feel exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reasonable. Any sign that puts me off, no matter how small, and I stop chatting. I don't need that shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally reasonable. If I take the time to answer someone back to say no, thank you, I don't then want several messages back trying to get me to agree instead.

I always wonder if those guys are in sales. Every no is a potential yes, flip those no's, 99 nos to every yes...it's completely the trait I see on here woth those messages.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman
over a year ago

essex just looking around

I actually don't respond to any messages that either havent read profile or not to my taste as im not interested in meeting randoms.

I dont get any aggro but friends get abuse and i see plenty of statuses moaning they get no replies.

Some ladies on here would need a PA to reply to everyone!!

Fabsters need to accept no reply = no interest simple.

However when people do reply and say thanks but no thanks out of politeness thats when the abuse starts . . It must be because theyve got their attention first time ..

Its the same as real life .. no one is desparate ... and all on here for different reasons xx

As for unread messages i think fabs only shows 35 plus at time so if someone stays logged in or adds pictures they do get lost unless deleted or read ..

No point re sending . Theyll find you if they want you x

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By *umpPumpyMan
over a year ago

London

I've taken many a knock back but am always respectful that I won't be everybody's cup of tea. And if I get a rejection message I simply thank them for taking the time to inform me and wish them well on their search.

It honestly is a pretty sad sight to shear about people practically grovelling.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Reasonable OP. You have to be really careful at the end of the day. I've said no and just had a 'thanks for getting back to me' type message and that was the end. I've also had a 'who the fuck do you think you are/cock tease' type message to which I'm rather thankful that my wierdometer kicked in. Sometimes its a lucky escape!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yup had two guys ask for a chance this week then get nasty later on. Lesson learnt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A simple sorry not my type is great .It's nice they have the manners to reply and not just read delate. But then again you ladies get loads of messages

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Totally reasonable.

Also those who keep bring up in messages that thing they want to do, but you have already told them a couple of times isn't gonna happen.

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

I think there is a lot of care in the community around so you can never be to safe.

I am a bit more chilled out if someone would like a chat that's great it can be a right laugh but to stalk someone because their a nice person is wrong so press the report sign and get them taken off.

Keep it safe xxx

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By *raceytvcdTV/TS
over a year ago

mansfield

"I've taken many a knock back but am always respectful that I won't be everybody's cup of tea. And if I get a rejection message I simply thank them for taking the time to inform me and wish them well on their search.

It honestly is a pretty sad sight to shear about people practically grovelling. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good to know I'm not being a drama queen, cheers forumers x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good to know I'm not being a drama queen, cheers forumers x"

I think you are correct, especially in places like this you have to listen to your inner gut feeling, the first impression is usually the right one.

The 'no ok then yes' games will only end in tears in a FAB context.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?"

reasonable best to be safe than sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree, it's more than reasonable. That initial contact or exchange is the only way you can assess the persons character.

Generally we get a thanks for replying when we decline someone.

We don't block those who reply with a thanks, as though we may not think they're for us, it's hard to know for sure based on a few pictures and some words on a screen, and a chance meeting at a club or social event may prove otherwise, and at the very least we're always happy to chat with others with no other motive than being sociable, and blocking them seems a bit drastic.

We do block those who don't thank for a reply, or who have clearly not paid any consideration to our profile, as to us it clearly shows they're only out for their own enjoyment, have no manners, and if they can't spend a few moments to pay attention to our profile and respect our likes and dislikes, then they're highly unlikely to do so if we met them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?"

Rapey.

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

What I have found is that a few women will say they'd like to meet, I'll reply to say it sounds like a good idea then nothing! Is it pushy to send a gentle reminder once in a while or should I cut my losses? I guess if they want to they'll get back in touch right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Type of guy who will promise not to try anything if you let him share the bed but you end up playing ninja all night or you just have sex because it's now 5am and you've got work in a few hours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems pretty reasonable to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What I have found is that a few women will say they'd like to meet, I'll reply to say it sounds like a good idea then nothing! Is it pushy to send a gentle reminder once in a while or should I cut my losses? I guess if they want to they'll get back in touch right?"

If they've said they're interested I think that's fair enough. But if they don't get back to you I'd then cut my losses.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

We've had this a few times as a couple, good chat for days sometimes then all of a sudden no response & you see they are online a few times etc. But still nothing, We even have one who sent us an fw, profile says here to chat & she's been on several times since and hadn't even opened our first message now 5 days old until today and no response..I've given up trying yo figure it, shrugg my shoulders & say "It is what it is".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?"

*PREACH IT**

I really hate this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if a lady says no I politly say thank you and wish them luck, as you never know you meet them socially and being polite her means they may say hello back there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a non-pushy guy message me twice in 40 mins...

but yes i agree, anyone who tries to push your boundaries is not respecting them.

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By *ilvercharmCouple
over a year ago

Our gate

I had a guy message the other day telling me what he wanted to do with me and did I want a bbc, told him perfectly happy with hubs massive cock and couples only......can't understand why he didn't message us back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had a message with face pics.....

Hi, sex please

......

Delete and block

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Just had a message with face pics.....

Hi, sex please

......

Delete and block

Then again we've had nearly that from a female "Like your look, i'm available this weekend, come fuck me"...

We didn't..because we couldn't, ahh well, but not sure we would have tbh..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a polite no thank you is always appreciated but I understand the woman on here get a million messages from guys on here. if I don't hear back I just assume as not interested.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

block them after your first polite refusal.

you'd do the same without a second thought to cold-callers/telesales etc, so why should it be any different on here!!! and remember.. some guys fire off so many messages in one day, after a week or several, yes they are very likely to have forgotten they have messaged you before.

you got it

they want it

you don't want to give it to them

block

NEXT!!

job done.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On more than one occasion though I've blocked someone, they've named me in a status full of absolute LIES and i've been unaware! That's why I'm reluctant to block folk now :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/16 22:43:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There aren't many things in life more unattractive than desperation and when someone needs to try and convince someone to meet them it's pretty pathetic.

Strikes me as a complete lack of self-respect as well. Gotta be pretty demoralising having to try and persuade someone to get into bed with you. Yikes

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?"

Sounds correct

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I think you're correct, I also think this applies to reading profiles.

If they can't even be bothered to see what I want then they're not going to be great in bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my mind, the guys who don't take no for an answer first time in messages are probably the kind of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer first time in the bedroom.

Obviously not implying that every guy is the same, but it's just that initial disrespect for my feelings that sets off alarm bells for me.

Dramatic, or reasonable?"

What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely reasonable. If the answer is no...then that's an end to it. Be it by mail or in the bedroom...it means the same.

I do get what some have said about messages "unread" or even deleted (as they may or may not be part of a bulk delete....among hundreds that some profiles receive). For me I tend to take a delete as a "no thanks" as per the site FAQs. It may mean I miss an occasional potential fun....but it's better than coming across as a total arse!

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By *xxxMan
over a year ago

Bedford & Chester

More than reasonable. I understand that as a single man I am asking for others to allow me into their world and share fantasies. This is particularly the case for couples.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape"

Care to elaborate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

Care to elaborate?"

It's 2016

Not 216

A pigeon or well carving isn't the best communication tool anymore

It would take 30 seconds to reply and just as long to block

Your inferring men who get rejected here will RAPE a woman

I've actually met a no before and have a friend who said no but we still spoke

Learn how to communicate rather than slander

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

Care to elaborate?

It's 2016

Not 216

A pigeon or well carving isn't the best communication tool anymore

It would take 30 seconds to reply and just as long to block

Your inferring men who get rejected here will RAPE a woman

I've actually met a no before and have a friend who said no but we still spoke

Learn how to communicate rather than slander"

i don't think they'd outright force themselves onto you but i do think that pushiness on here can imply coersion to do stuff outside of your boundaries irl if you did meet them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

Care to elaborate?

It's 2016

Not 216

A pigeon or well carving isn't the best communication tool anymore

It would take 30 seconds to reply and just as long to block

Your inferring men who get rejected here will RAPE a woman

I've actually met a no before and have a friend who said no but we still spoke

Learn how to communicate rather than slander"

This isn't someone I've not replied to. I've said no. That's the point. I thought I made that quite clear.

And I'm not saying they're rapists. I'm saying they're potentially the kind of guy who'll chance their arm at making women do things they aren't comfortable with. I also said I didn't mean all guys, which should be fucking obvious anyway.

Reading what people actually say instead of jumping to conclusions is a key part of communication as well

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Ironically it is the guys who pester who are the most likely to cum in their pants the moment you directly address them, even if it's a no. They'd never have the guts to show up, never mind get all agro once there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have repeatedly said no to a guy, he's gone through the whole 'aw babe' bit and is now offering me money.

Time to block!

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Womens intuition is a marvellous thing ....go with it

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I have repeatedly said no to a guy, he's gone through the whole 'aw babe' bit and is now offering me money.

Time to block!"

You mean you didn't set a price?? Opportunity lost surely;);)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have repeatedly said no to a guy, he's gone through the whole 'aw babe' bit and is now offering me money.

Time to block!

You mean you didn't set a price?? Opportunity lost surely;);)"

I know you're joking, but I imagine some would have...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always be wary, you are on this site be a use you enjoy the life style and the scene. Some men think its a simple sex site. They don't understand the etiquette, respect and unwritten rules.

Be polite, be respectful, a no is no. They seem to think as long as they're faceless and armoured with a keyboard they can act however they want...

Sorry ranted n babbled there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust your guts - if you have any doubt dont go there

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Yesterday evening I had a male friend from here try and persuade me to go to a threesome, I have made it clear I do not fancy him. An hour and several no answers later he finally gave up ! Pushing is really unattractive and a turn of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree you politely say no thankyou and good luck, then you get the but why message, then the if you meet me you won't regret it. It's so unattractive x

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

Care to elaborate?

It's 2016

Not 216

A pigeon or well carving isn't the best communication tool anymore

It would take 30 seconds to reply and just as long to block

Your inferring men who get rejected here will RAPE a woman

I've actually met a no before and have a friend who said no but we still spoke

Learn how to communicate rather than slander"

How dare anyone suggest that a man who is repeatedly ignoring the word 'no' could have the potential to be a rapist

She should meet up with him, and give him a chance, right?

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

Care to elaborate?

It's 2016

Not 216

A pigeon or well carving isn't the best communication tool anymore

It would take 30 seconds to reply and just as long to block

Your inferring men who get rejected here will RAPE a woman

I've actually met a no before and have a friend who said no but we still spoke

Learn how to communicate rather than slander

How dare anyone suggest that a man who is repeatedly ignoring the word 'no' could have the potential to be a rapist

She should meet up with him, and give him a chance, right? "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Glad to know I wasn't the only one thinking that!

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"On more than one occasion though I've blocked someone, they've named me in a status full of absolute LIES and i've been unaware! That's why I'm reluctant to block folk now :/"

Pretty sure thats against forum rules if that helps x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know but by the time it's removed it's already been seen by who knows how many people!

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"I know but by the time it's removed it's already been seen by who knows how many people!"

Hopefully if they get a warning it will deter them. Bang out of order though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know but by the time it's removed it's already been seen by who knows how many people!

Hopefully if they get a warning it will deter them. Bang out of order though

you do get told your account will be deleted if you name and shame in a status again.

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By *arkedMan
over a year ago

Trim

"What a bell end

If you know what technology is you might understand keyboard vs rape

Care to elaborate?

It's 2016

Not 216

A pigeon or well carving isn't the best communication tool anymore

It would take 30 seconds to reply and just as long to block

Your inferring men who get rejected here will RAPE a woman

I've actually met a no before and have a friend who said no but we still spoke

Learn how to communicate rather than slander

This isn't someone I've not replied to. I've said no. That's the point. I thought I made that quite clear.

Reading what people actually say instead of jumping to conclusions is a key part of communication as well

100% agree. And yes OP you made it perfectly clear, maybe a certain persons had 5 or 10 to many no's for their own liking

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By *alacious RedWoman
over a year ago

croydon

"I actually don't respond to any messages that either havent read profile or not to my taste as im not interested in meeting randoms.

I dont get any aggro but friends get abuse and i see plenty of statuses moaning they get no replies.

Some ladies on here would need a PA to reply to everyone!!

Fabsters need to accept no reply = no interest simple.

However when people do reply and say thanks but no thanks out of politeness thats when the abuse starts . . It must be because theyve got their attention first time ..

Its the same as real life .. no one is desparate ... and all on here for different reasons xx

As for unread messages i think fabs only shows 35 plus at time so if someone stays logged in or adds pictures they do get lost unless deleted or read ..

No point re sending . Theyll find you if they want you x "

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