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Genuine Help & Stress

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I'm currently going through a sticky patch.

vanilla Long term GF has left me and moved on very quickly...

Changing jobs

Having financial difficulties

And have some serious mood swings stress and bouts of depression.

Just wondered if any long term users of here ( as I'm not a "swinger" per say more of a BDSM and regular vanilla relationship guy) have gone through the same and might share if they feel the lifestyle is unhelpful of the mental stability and long term happiness of it all...

I know my profile is hidden and sorry if any is offended by the thread then don't comment...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a break and sort yourself out go doctors seek counselling. I am bi polar go through manic and depression its horrid but I am now In control I come on here because I cannot have "normal" relationships x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Take a break and sort yourself out go doctors seek counselling. I am bi polar go through manic and depression its horrid but I am now In control I come on here because I cannot have "normal" relationships x"

Have taken a break and have been "single" for 6 weeks but as mentioned she's moved on already and I declared my love and got trodden on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're not feeling good about yourself definitely take a break until you've got yourself sorted and are in the correct frame of mind. Go to the doctors and seek some help too , I'm sure they will be very supportive. Good luck OP and I hope you're feeling better soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you're not feeling good about yourself definitely take a break until you've got yourself sorted and are in the correct frame of mind. Go to the doctors and seek some help too , I'm sure they will be very supportive. Good luck OP and I hope you're feeling better soon. "

Genuinely thankful for your response

I can't seem to break a cycle tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're not feeling good about yourself definitely take a break until you've got yourself sorted and are in the correct frame of mind. Go to the doctors and seek some help too , I'm sure they will be very supportive. Good luck OP and I hope you're feeling better soon.

Genuinely thankful for your response

I can't seem to break a cycle tho

"

You won't until you seek help. U do feel for you I also recommend the Samaritans please do not do anything stupid that you will regret x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

personally I don't think it can cause any stress being on here.

Your current situation is what you need to sort out. Your GF has moved on and I know how hard that is, so you have to get past that and you do that by concentrating on getting your work sorted and when that is done start working on the financial side of things.

Like I said it will be hard, the same thing happened to me only difference she was my wife of 20 years and it was a bolt out of the blue.

All my friends said this...it will take time but you will get over it.

And you know what they where right.

I am now in the best place I have ever been in my life, and you will be too.

Just don't give up, keep going push thru and you will be fine.

And come on here have some banter chat to people ask their opinion, it all helps, there are some fantastic people on here, and they will help you through all the shit you are going thru right now.

Hope this helps

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Starting a new job is always stressful but you got given it because your employers think you can do the job and so do you otherwise you wouldn't have applied for it. So that's a good thing, yeah? The new job stress will fall off in about 3 weeks once you get to know people and systems and processes etc.

Financial problems? Make s list of your essential outgoings and stick with it for a couple of months. You can life quite cheaply in summer. See how little you can actually spend in a day.

The girlfriend has gone? Never mind, time will heal. Find another.

Fab, on the other hand, can be a godsend to the confident and hell on earth to those whose confidence has had a knock.

So, step away from the keyboard and make a list of things - prioritise your life for the next day, next week, next month. Make a plan. Organise. You'll feel more in control and by the time your plan ends (in 6 months time) and you see who haven't achieved much - things will have moved on and developed anyway in such a way as to make the original plan worthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Starting a new job is always stressful but you got given it because your employers think you can do the job and so do you otherwise you wouldn't have applied for it. So that's a good thing, yeah? The new job stress will fall off in about 3 weeks once you get to know people and systems and processes etc.

Financial problems? Make s list of your essential outgoings and stick with it for a couple of months. You can life quite cheaply in summer. See how little you can actually spend in a day.

The girlfriend has gone? Never mind, time will heal. Find another.

Fab, on the other hand, can be a godsend to the confident and hell on earth to those whose confidence has had a knock.

So, step away from the keyboard and make a list of things - prioritise your life for the next day, next week, next month. Make a plan. Organise. You'll feel more in control and by the time your plan ends (in 6 months time) and you see who haven't achieved much - things will have moved on and developed anyway in such a way as to make the original plan worthless. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


". Make a plan. Organise. You'll feel more in control and by the time your plan ends (in 6 months time) and you see who haven't achieved much - things will have moved on and developed anyway in such a way as to make the original plan worthless. "

Thanks fella

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Set goals you need to do and sort them out in stages once you have them reasonably organised and stick to it. Once the details are overcome you can have clarity. Financial stress will ruin you more than anything else in the long run, as, you probably remember people do get new bf / gf's when they do, though debt stays and can affect your social life, job prospects and therefore ability to find new a relationship so focus on handling that first.

Relationships take half the amount of years to get over as you were in them apparently. Get a hobby or hobbies to take your mind of it, reading, cycling, rock climbing, swimming, walking, join football clubs or other game clubs, it'll all aid future health/motivation/diarys and beer nights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Starting a new job is always stressful but you got given it because your employers think you can do the job and so do you otherwise you wouldn't have applied for it. So that's a good thing, yeah? The new job stress will fall off in about 3 weeks once you get to know people and systems and processes etc.

Financial problems? Make s list of your essential outgoings and stick with it for a couple of months. You can life quite cheaply in summer. See how little you can actually spend in a day.

The girlfriend has gone? Never mind, time will heal. Find another.

Fab, on the other hand, can be a godsend to the confident and hell on earth to those whose confidence has had a knock.

So, step away from the keyboard and make a list of things - prioritise your life for the next day, next week, next month. Make a plan. Organise. You'll feel more in control and by the time your plan ends (in 6 months time) and you see who haven't achieved much - things will have moved on and developed anyway in such a way as to make the original plan worthless. "

Good advice here. Might be worth seeking CBT counselling. Ask your GP as they may offer it. It's a very good effective form of counselling especially for stress...It gives life skills that can help you in future situations. It empowers and builds self confidence and self awareness. Focus on those things mentioned above and certainly not here. It's not a place for someone experiencing what you are atm. You can return if you still want to but in a better place with more confidence too. All the best.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Fifteen years ago, I hit rock bottom. Lost ny job, had money worries, fell into deep anguish, lived alone and was ill.

Best thing for me was my GP suggesting Counselling. Firstly, I thought, "men sort out their own problems, not going to some stranger!"

But it worked for me. It took time but the support was there and it got me through.

Whatever your problems are, talk to someone professionally. It does work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take some time out and clear your head. If it means going away for a weekend by yourself or with friend (s) whatever works for you. All the shit that has happened leave it there you don't need it and they are no longer in your life for a reason. Your ex has moved on and she's now not your concern...what do you want out of life....think about that....concentrate on the good things and the people who compliment you bring out the best in you. Book things....have things to look forward to ...treat yourself....ffs don't waste your life....enjoy it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will get better one day. In the meantime, be kind to yourself, give yourself a treat every so often (and it doesn't have to cost money, I often have a long soak in a deep bubble bath with a glass of something and a book). Take care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/07/16 22:57:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Take a break and sort yourself out go doctors seek counselling. I am bi polar go through manic and depression its horrid but I am now In control I come on here because I cannot have "normal" relationships x

Have taken a break and have been "single" for 6 weeks but as mentioned she's moved on already and I declared my love and got trodden on

"

My sons ex cheated on him nearly 2 years and they split quite badly. She moved on and has had a new boyfriend every week, has taken my son 2 years to trust a women enough to go out with one though didn't last. Move at a snails pace, sort yourself out first

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

OP Fab can be great for meeting people who know nothing of your past and you just share the now with and it feels good.

However, if you are broken hearted it can be a bad place of you meet someone and they are not looking for love on the rebound.

Whatever your situation it won't change until you seek help. There is a lot out there and it works

As others have said you should see your GP and also call the Samaritains for any reason, not just suicidal thoughts. They are amazing people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP Fab can be great for meeting people who know nothing of your past and you just share the now with and it feels good."

This rings so true for me. Often just spending time with someone, who doesn't need to know the things that weigh on your mind so much, is enough to give you some space and respite from your stress.

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