FabSwingers.com forum: Is it acceptable ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not, all limits should be discussed and agreed to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "

Never acceptable...anyone who tells you, you aren't a real sub is a dick!

He must be part of the "twue" Dom party...

Everyone's kink is different...plus limits are there for a reason...everyone has limits...

Anyone who says they have no limits is lying...I have plenty! Some I'm willing to expand...and a few I won't budge on at all!

Find a guy, or girl who respects your wishes...ignore anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your definition of a dub that you candidate anything you want to?

If so you need to be explicit prior to a meet just in case as they say ' a lack of communication could lead to frustration'.

I, for example, do not have fixed boundaries I like to immerse myself in the moment but having said that there are somethings I might not like and if I said no I would expect my boundaries to be respected as I am sure would many many others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is your definition of a dub that you candidate anything you want to?

If so you need to be explicit prior to a meet just in case as they say ' a lack of communication could lead to frustration'.

I have a few hard limits...stuff I definitely wouldn't do... I won't change them for anyone...my partner respects them and he has never are me feel like I'm depriving him of something...

You shouldn't be made to feel like a wimp for having them...

Diversity is the spice of life after all!!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Your sensual needs and health are paramount, not the Doms ego, well in my world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "

of course these things should be discussed and respected .

its the supposed dom in the wrong here ....

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that.

of course these things should be discussed and respected .

its the supposed dom in the wrong here ....

plus 1 to this,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not into the D/s scene but surely you discuss limitations & have safe words to use?

This guy sounds more like a bully than a Dom.

If it doesn't feel right, don't do it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to agree very game needs rule for everyone to enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "

this is why i dont meet dom men

to a lot on here being dom simply means i say you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I had a Dom he said the most important thing about me being a sub was that I felt the most beautiful special girl. So yes limits are important or you aren't going to be feeling too great which defeats the object of wanting to serve willingly x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a real sub is someone who submits. it doesn't mean you have to do what you don't like to satisfy someone else, ever.

this 'dom' just sounds selfish.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Not a true sub? Not a true Dom more like! Get the hell out, it's a classic wannabe alert!

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By *herbert fountainWoman
over a year ago

Hanley

He has probably read THAT book!

In a D/s relationship it is imperative that limits are discussed and honoured, both hard and soft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x"

Never was more truth spoken.

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By *addubMan
over a year ago

dublin. 12

no it`s not all boundries should be respected at all times any agreements made at the start should & must be the be all & end all if thats not the case wave goodbye, & try to hit the idiot with the door on the way out.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "

Of course it is......If you're a twat. Or someone who thinks they are a dom/me and are in reality a manipulative fool who deserves nothing more than contempt.

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I've had this previously when I wanted to explore my sub side...or even discover if I had a sub side. He classed himself as a Dom and his veris were from several subs all saying what a great master he was. He claimed that I wasn't a real/true sub as I clearly wasn't comfortable doing everything that he told me to do and was somewhat resistant to his commands. I was left feeling dirty and used. It completely put me off experimenting in that direction again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He has probably read THAT book!

In a D/s relationship it is imperative that limits are discussed and honoured, both hard and soft."

I've never been told I'm a bad sub. And I agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He has probably read THAT book!

In a D/s relationship it is imperative that limits are discussed and honoured, both hard and soft.

I've never been told I'm a bad sub. And I agree. "

Anyone who behaves like that is wrong!! Whenever you meet someone and want to explore being in a Dom/sub relationship first and foremost boundaries have to be discused adhered to and respected,otherwise it's just one sided and the other person just wants to control and manipulate the other party,definatly better off without someone like that,but it should not put you off just take it as a learning curve and be warey of who you meet,there are some great fun people out there you just havnt met them yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had this previously when I wanted to explore my sub side...or even discover if I had a sub side. He classed himself as a Dom and his veris were from several subs all saying what a great master he was. He claimed that I wasn't a real/true sub as I clearly wasn't comfortable doing everything that he told me to do and was somewhat resistant to his commands. I was left feeling dirty and used. It completely put me off experimenting in that direction again

"
sounds like u had a lucky escape .guys a dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All limits should be discussed along with interests and needs. Without trust I'd be inclined not to per sue such a relationship.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "

The only people to tell me I'm not a real/true sub are those that haven't a clue of what a submissive is. I find it really bullying, goading and manipulative to tell someone they are not a real sub and wouldn't go near anyone that had that mentality

Hard limits are out of bounds. Soft limits are up for open and honest discussion and possible reassessment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always good to have a safe word too

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Like other people have said all limits should be discussed.

Sounds like they don't know what a Submissive is let alone a Dom

Think most people have hard limits. No go is no go as far as I'm concerned.

I've been told I couldn't be a proper Dom as I hate feet. Not sure how they came to that conclusion.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yes I've put up a profile on a couple of sites and the vast majority obviously can't even read the profile let alone arrive at an adult agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A real Dom would not expect anything of a sub, that she would not enjoy. Yes boundaries need to be pushed, but only at the rate that the sub can handle. In my opinion, the sub hands control over to her Dom so that he can take responsibility for her pleasure. This is something that is easy to get wrong if the Dom does not know his sub well enough. Being a Dom, is a responsibility and one that's very easily abused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that.

Never acceptable...anyone who tells you, you aren't a real sub is a dick!

He must be part of the "twue" Dom party...

Everyone's kink is different...plus limits are there for a reason...everyone has limits...

Anyone who says they have no limits is lying...I have plenty! Some I'm willing to expand...and a few I won't budge on at all!

Find a guy, or girl who respects your wishes...ignore anyone else

This goes for ALL meet types.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always good to have a safe word too

I would never have a safe word. I shouldn't need it.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

If your not enjoying it ... and you dont feel completely safe .... DONT DO IT !!.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x"

Exactly this......fifty shades has so much to answer for. An inundation of the site by wannabes with little or no idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x

Exactly this......fifty shades has so much to answer for. An inundation of the site by wannabes with little or no idea."

Whilst I agree 50Shades has a lot to answer for, every Dom/Domme has to start some where, every wannabe develops and hones his/her skills over time.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

What was the hard limit? Sexual or other? Chatting someone up, swallowing a bucket load of cum, kicking someone in the balls?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x

Exactly this......fifty shades has so much to answer for. An inundation of the site by wannabes with little or no idea.

Whilst I agree 50Shades has a lot to answer for, every Dom/Domme has to start some where, every wannabe develops and hones his/her skills over time."

The ones to avoid are those people that think they are above anyone that read 50 Shades and above anyone that wants to learn!!

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"No it's not, everyone has different limits and boundaries, a Dom should respect yours. If he doesn't then he is not a real Dom x

Exactly this......fifty shades has so much to answer for. An inundation of the site by wannabes with little or no idea.

every Dom/Domme has to start some where, every wannabe develops and hones his/her skills over time."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that.

this is why i dont meet dom men

to a lot on here being dom simply means i say you do"

So glad that's not how I see the role!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What was the hard limit? Sexual or other? Chatting someone up, swallowing a bucket load of cum, kicking someone in the balls?"

Sexual but It's something unmentionable actually. Which he asked me would I do.

But I have other ones too, which for personal reasons won't change. He seemed to think I'd do them anyway as thats what subs do. Well actually no it isn't.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

What was the hard limit? Sexual or other? Chatting someone up, swallowing a bucket load of cum, kicking someone in the balls?

Sexual but It's something unmentionable actually. Which he asked me would I do.

But I have other ones too, which for personal reasons won't change. He seemed to think I'd do them anyway as thats what subs do. Well actually no it isn't.

It's your relationship but if you don't like it only you can change it.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

What was the hard limit? Sexual or other? Chatting someone up, swallowing a bucket load of cum, kicking someone in the balls?

Sexual but It's something unmentionable actually. Which he asked me would I do.

But I have other ones too, which for personal reasons won't change. He seemed to think I'd do them anyway as thats what subs do. Well actually no it isn't.

Talk to him and reeducate him that a hard limit isn't negotiable? Or boot him and find someone that will respect you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was the hard limit? Sexual or other? Chatting someone up, swallowing a bucket load of cum, kicking someone in the balls?

Sexual but It's something unmentionable actually. Which he asked me would I do.

But I have other ones too, which for personal reasons won't change. He seemed to think I'd do them anyway as thats what subs do. Well actually no it isn't.

Talk to him and reeducate him that a hard limit isn't negotiable? Or boot him and find someone that will respect you?"

Have to agree with Sub_ilac here!A sub/dom relationship is ultimately based on trust. If he is trying to get you to do something that you deem a limit, then I would be inclined not to trust him and get out.

There will be someone who will treat you as you deserve!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "

Hard limits are just that. Limits. Anyone who says you aren't a real sub because you have limits is a clown who doesn't understand the first thing about sub/Dom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ask a submissive if they are into something? If they aren't- to tell them they aren't a real sub? Because I have hard limits.

I do worry about the scene and how some are expecting too much and that some people will think it's ok to behave like that. "
no .. hes a muppet and should be avoided at all costs.

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