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Cheating issue

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "

I don't need telling off by anyone. What I do and with whom is my business - nobody else's, same as their business is theirs unless it somehow intersects with mine.

I publish clearly on my profile that I am married to give people a choice however - so nobody can say they aren't aware.

We all have our reasons for what we do, but they are just that OUR reasons, nobody else's x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "

Why would you 'tell off' a cheater? Just let people do whatever they do and face their own consequences.

And no, I don't believe the third party is more guilty for enabling the cheater.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "

If you are asking a bunch of swingers a moral based question all i can add is good luck!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's their call, it's their life.

Don't fret!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

But when you look at bigger picture...'heat of the moment' action could actually ruin someone's life. Pernamently. Would person, who agreed to 'help' a cheater, would feel guilty? Even a little bit? Or that wouldn't be their business?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge.

Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I don't care what anyone else does I personally don't play with cheats (hopefully).

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X"

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge.

Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun."

Have fun, until you become the victim

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only one can judge us and they cruisified him .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

That's the beauty of choice!!

Its not up to me to 'tell anyone off' for doing what they do. Not my circus, not my monkeys

Some people will avoid attached people on here.

Some people will be taken in by secretly attached people on here.

Some people prefer attached playmates on here.

Some people really couldn't give a shite, and take life as it comes.

This is a swingers site - not Relate.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs "

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on

but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works

for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings

and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unguy_4_uMan
over a year ago

Kettering


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."

agree with the above views

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are free to do what we want. There may be a valid reason for someone to cheat.

It's none of yours, or anybody else's business, as it doesn't affect you or them.

But you keep taking the moral high ground OP, like it will get you anywhere on this site.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."

not really...

if it comes out at any point it could turn it into a much worse situation for any kids involved

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

I wonder if people are more willing to meet a cheat if they haven't had experience of being cheated on?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't get involved.

Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's up to the individual what they do . No one should judge. There is to much judgement on here as it is please lighten up. Bi men get the brush of from some couples, single men also have it rough as they out number the ladies. Let's all just get on and fuck . It's all about fun and frolics

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on

but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works

for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings

and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for"

You make massive judgements with your statements that are very wrong.

Why should someone not give a fuck about another because they want to be sexually fulfilled?

Why should they break up a family home that could indeed be very loving for something as futile as sex?

Sex is so enjoyment. It's like going to the pub. I do it cause I enjoy it.

I wouldn't break up a family cause I like watching a film at the cinema - same kinda difference

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its their choice. This site is becoming so negative everyone moaning about somthing. If you dont like playing with attached people then dont. Some people will disapprove of you being on a swingers site does that give them the right to 'tell you off"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"I don't get involved.

Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged."

But surely good Christians should be against swinging too!?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him ."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"Its their choice. This site is becoming so negative everyone moaning about somthing. If you dont like playing with attached people then dont. Some people will disapprove of you being on a swingers site does that give them the right to 'tell you off""

Yup

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."

To remain in a failing marriage for the sake of children is a cruel act, and if you are basing your justification on the children as ammo not to break uo a home, then why not think about your children before fucking someone outside of your relationship, as for needs, you need oxygen, food, water.. you dont need sex, what an immature attitude

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.

not really...

if it comes out at any point it could turn it into a much worse situation for any kids involved "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I don't get involved.

Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged.

But surely good Christians should be against swinging too!? "

Seeing as its usually people taking christian wedding vows who are, by definition, cheating, they're the ones at it the most!

The remark I made was to point out that we have all cheated to some extent. Maybe not in the marriage sense, but very few people are perfect.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on

but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works

for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings

and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for

You make massive judgements with your statements that are very wrong.

Why should someone not give a fuck about another because they want to be sexually fulfilled?

Why should they break up a family home that could indeed be very loving for something as futile as sex?

Sex is so enjoyment. It's like going to the pub. I do it cause I enjoy it.

I wouldn't break up a family cause I like watching a film at the cinema - same kinda difference "

im talking going behind someones back and the person thats being cheated on. im not looking at it from the cheaters perspective because im not a cheater

whats gonna be more damaging to kids? mum and dad divorcing because they dont love eachother anymore or mum or dad divorcing because they slept with the sloot 2 doors down?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But when you look at bigger picture...'heat of the moment' action could actually ruin someone's life. Pernamently. Would person, who agreed to 'help' a cheater, would feel guilty? Even a little bit? Or that wouldn't be their business? "

Wouldn't give a monkeys......their decision, their consequences. Simple!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fact is. A LOT of people here are cheating without their partners knowledge.

Some admit it, some don't. Some pretend to be single.

Just fuck who you're attracted to without being detective or judge. What their circumstances are is their business.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ovetobiteMan
over a year ago

Antalya Turkey

Well said

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"Fact is. A LOT of people here are cheating without their partners knowledge.

Some admit it, some don't. Some pretend to be single.

Just fuck who you're attracted to without being detective or judge. What their circumstances are is their business. "

I can't do that it's incredibly important for my own wellbeing to not fuck a married man who's cheating. Should I be in here?! Probably not...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Not here to judge anyone and what anyone thinks of me is none of my business.

I have been married and cheated on, I have fucked married men (either knowingly or unknowingly), I have a relationship where we share our exploits and meet together ... So you could say I run the gamut of all situations.

the swinging police like to reiterate the rules every so often but any fuck I gave about what other people do left the building years ago.

V xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide. "

Agreed, we have had girls contact for meets, we chat and arrange a social only to be told they have a partner but they are not happy so want to explore, regardless of how hot they are or how fun it could be i always send them packing, and this is Mr the red blooded highly sexed man who has needs!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fact is. A LOT of people here are cheating without their partners knowledge.

Some admit it, some don't. Some pretend to be single.

Just fuck who you're attracted to without being detective or judge. What their circumstances are is their business.

I can't do that it's incredibly important for my own wellbeing to not fuck a married man who's cheating. Should I be in here?! Probably not..."

Course you should be in here. Like I say, fuck who you want. If that means not fucking cheats then that's your own decision and nobody has the right to judge you either

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.

To remain in a failing marriage for the sake of children is a cruel act, and if you are basing your justification on the children as ammo not to break uo a home, then why not think about your children before fucking someone outside of your relationship, as for needs, you need oxygen, food, water.. you dont need sex, what an immature attitude "

What a very black & white attitude.

There are numerous reasons why someone looks to outside their marriage / relationship for sex, it's been happening since the word began.

If you cheat or meet someone who is then in a mature adult way you will accept there could be consequences for both of you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences "

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best of luck with that attitude on here OP. There's little morality on a swingers site.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And what bout people who are married or have a partner at home and for whateva reason doesnt want sex anymore or rarely then what? Does the rejected person have to put up with it? I think not !

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

Why would you 'tell off' a cheater? Just let people do whatever they do and face their own consequences.

And no, I don't believe the third party is more guilty for enabling the cheater. "

Sense.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"I don't get involved.

Carrying on the christian theme from pamela, judge not, lest ye be judged.

But surely good Christians should be against swinging too!?

Seeing as its usually people taking christian wedding vows who are, by definition, cheating, they're the ones at it the most!

The remark I made was to point out that we have all cheated to some extent. Maybe not in the marriage sense, but very few people are perfect."

I'm not arguing with you - I agree!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.

To remain in a failing marriage for the sake of children is a cruel act, and if you are basing your justification on the children as ammo not to break uo a home, then why not think about your children before fucking someone outside of your relationship, as for needs, you need oxygen, food, water.. you dont need sex, what an immature attitude

What a very black & white attitude.

There are numerous reasons why someone looks to outside their marriage / relationship for sex, it's been happening since the word began.

If you cheat or meet someone who is then in a mature adult way you will accept there could be consequences for both of you.

"
hear hear!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And what bout people who are married or have a partner at home and for whateva reason doesnt want sex anymore or rarely then what? Does the rejected person have to put up with it? I think not !"
.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with you OP. I don't judge cheaters. But as a person who would hate to be cheated on if I met a married guy I would be a hypocrite. So my choice is I do not meet cheaters as I would hate a woman to do it to me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"they are both as bad as eachother if they both know whats going on

but its a personal choice and how you see the world and the way it works

for me i say if you feel like you need to cheat ditch the person you are with before you do it. shows you give a slight fuck about people and their feelings

and if you dont give a fuck why you even with someone you feel nothing for

You make massive judgements with your statements that are very wrong.

Why should someone not give a fuck about another because they want to be sexually fulfilled?

Why should they break up a family home that could indeed be very loving for something as futile as sex?

Sex is so enjoyment. It's like going to the pub. I do it cause I enjoy it.

I wouldn't break up a family cause I like watching a film at the cinema - same kinda difference

im talking going behind someones back and the person thats being cheated on. im not looking at it from the cheaters perspective because im not a cheater

whats gonna be more damaging to kids? mum and dad divorcing because they dont love eachother anymore or mum or dad divorcing because they slept with the sloot 2 doors down? "

Sloot? You are on the wrong site mate as logically anyone 'putting it out' is just that?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

If you asked the general public I bet most would say swinging is morally wrong.....if you ask a load of swingers a lot would say cheating is morally wrong

You should run your sex life how you want and let others do the same rather than judging and pointing fingers after all everything we do would be frowned on by someone else taking the moral high ground

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that."

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I saw a guy off here regularly ...he was separated ...

Until his wife rang me yelling down the phone ...then he admitted he was married ...

.... now my profile states no attatched ..... id like to keep my windows

Oh and he is still on here ... different profile .... says he is divorced now ..... yeah right

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

You are all adult enough to run your lives how you see fit. Nobody tells you when to pay your bills, what to eat/drink, when to go to bed, what job to have......

There are 'guidelines' out there and what's classed as 'normal' but it doesn't mean any of us have to adhere to it, hence there are skint n rich, fat n thin, lazy bones who stay in bed and sleep deprived workaholics.

Your sex life is the same. It's your choice

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

I don't need telling off by anyone. What I do and with whom is my business - nobody else's, same as their business is theirs unless it somehow intersects with mine.

I publish clearly on my profile that I am married to give people a choice however - so nobody can say they aren't aware.

We all have our reasons for what we do, but they are just that OUR reasons, nobody else's x"

I totally get what you are saying here. Many, many reasons why married men AND women join this site for sexual pleasure. We are all here for our own individual journeys and what others choose to do is their business. We are not the moral police here just people who have realised that swinging is a pleasurable way of life for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had."

I was in a physically abusive marriage for 15 years finally grew a pair of balls and left. But never cheated I'm making up for it now though

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"If you asked the general public I bet most would say swinging is morally wrong.....if you ask a load of swingers a lot would say cheating is morally wrong

You should run your sex life how you want and let others do the same rather than judging and pointing fingers after all everything we do would be frowned on by someone else taking the moral high ground "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Away from fab were all cheaters anyway lol. With permission or not. So some of you need to jump off your high horses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

I don't need telling off by anyone. What I do and with whom is my business - nobody else's, same as their business is theirs unless it somehow intersects with mine.

I publish clearly on my profile that I am married to give people a choice however - so nobody can say they aren't aware.

We all have our reasons for what we do, but they are just that OUR reasons, nobody else's x"

Absolutely. Nobody should judge.. especially on a site like this. And also the fact that there is one hell of an imbalance in that married men on here without the spouses knowledge get vilified, whilst married women doing the same - for the most part, slip conveniently right under the radar.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you "

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. "

I would think most women/men who turn up would be thanking you and telling you your welcome to them lol.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. "

I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day.

Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice. "

It's very rare for a Co-respondent to be named in divorce proceedings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice.

I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day.

Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing"

Your opinion is respected, as are others too. My comment was although maybe unclear, directed at married people, attached people and single people. We are all here for our own reasons whatever our relationship status and it is our business what we choose to do or not to do and should not be questioned for our actions by others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I womt meet cheaters and state that on my profile.

But married people on here have every right to be on here and do what thet chose I just prefer not to meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/16 10:04:43]

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice.

I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day.

Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing

Your opinion is respected, as are others too. My comment was although maybe unclear, directed at married people, attached people and single people. We are all here for our own reasons whatever our relationship status and it is our business what we choose to do or not to do and should not be questioned for our actions by others "

That's true but it's human nature to judge, we all do it on some level, it happens everyday on fab itself as let's face it everytime someone messages you or you read a profile and you choose not to meet them you've made a judgement of them based on the information available to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesnt bother me if they cheat. It is their life. Maibe they got a higher sex drive than their partner.

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By *evilsAdvocate72Woman
over a year ago

East


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

Why would you 'tell off' a cheater? Just let people do whatever they do and face their own consequences.

And no, I don't believe the third party is more guilty for enabling the cheater. "

If a man isn't fed at home then he'll eat out.....that goes for women too btw.

Before giving out about cheaters and their enablers perhaps you should wonder why they feel the need to cheat in the first place?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice.

It's very rare for a Co-respondent to be named in divorce proceedings. "

I don't know,I chose not too for various reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then "

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I used to meet married men without batting an eye, with the attitude many here have expressed, that it's their problem when it goes tits up, unfortunately it was mine also as his wife and her family made life a living hell! Because it's always the dastardly other woman's fault you know

So I now won't knowingly meet married men and I'm very disappointed in myself for ever doing so. All actions have consequences

See that's the thing I don't understand,if a wife and her children turned up on my doorstep after I'd slept with her husband I would be mortified and ashamed. I don't understand how people can switch of to that.

Many can, because they choose not to consider the what if scenarios I mea. Just look at how many have chose to acknowledge my comment, so far it's just you

Yeah I suppose,it's just seems crazy when people say it's their business nothing to do with me it's not my marriage. Next minute they're being cited in divorce proceedings if their lucky they don't have the guy's wife wanting to rip their head off on their doorstep. Anyway it's their choice.

I certainly learnt my lesson the hard way. The fact she made my life hell for it wasn't the issue for me, it was knowing that is caused her so much pain, she was just acting out on it the only way she knew how to. That was all 5 years ago on an old profile (one I deleted because what happened put me off meeting for a while) and I still feel awful about it to this day.

Married people cheating on here can do what they want, I won't judge them, I just won't meet them anymore. Is it wrong of me to take a what many would deem a moral stance as an immoral swinger? Perhaps, but as married people have their reasons to try and meet, I have my reason not to meet Them. I do find it funny how the reasons of the ones choosing not to meet married people, are seemingly just labelled the moral police that never have the right to have their opinion respected, just because they swing"

Yes that used to piss me off somewhat,suppose it makes someone feel better putting down those that choose not to meet a cheater by calling them the moral police

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had.

I was in a physically abusive marriage for 15 years finally grew a pair of balls and left. But never cheated I'm making up for it now though "
great me too x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much.

So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault.

I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job.

It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally "

If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like to see anyone get hurt.

So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse ..

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally

If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck "

You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/16 10:28:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much.

So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault.

I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job.

It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'! "

Lots of planks about...We could build a bridge and makeup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally

If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck

You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that"

A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much.

So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault.

I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job.

It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'!

Lots of planks about...We could build a bridge and makeup "

Or build one and make out!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ristol_MTB_cplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

There is a massive moral difference between open, informed and consensual swinging and cheating. It's not about sex and getting it elsewhere it's about honesty.

We don't meet cheaters for a few reasons (most covered above) but at the same time we wouldn't tell them off about it. Not our business what they get up to, but we don't want to be involved.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally

If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck

You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that

A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them "

Yes they can and my side of the argument was that some people can't and some think they can then their feelings catch them off guard. To quote a popular saying sometimes shit happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally

If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck

You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that

A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them

Yes they can and my side of the argument was that some people can't and some think they can then their feelings catch them off guard. To quote a popular saying sometimes shit happens "

Its not a argument. Its a 1st for me to have someone being adult about my comments and not turning it around or trying to put me down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Wrong-doing' is a bit like a plate glass window - you can shoot a hole in it with a rifle or drive a truck through it, it amounts to the same - it's either perfect or broken - if it's broke, it's broke, it's irrelevant how much.

So no, the person who meets the cheater is not doing more wrong, but they are clearly also at fault.

I can say cheating is morally wrong without having suffered it myself or having to judge the person who cheats - that is not my job.

It's very easy to vilify someone else while conveniently forgetting our own broken glass and then we just shoot another hole in the window by being a hypocrite. I see a lot of that on here. To continue the biblical theme - take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brothers'!

Lots of planks about...We could build a bridge and makeup

Or build one and make out! "

Same thing on here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"A lot of couples on here...not all prefer attached ppl. Less chance of them fucking off with there other half then

That's not always the case neither you meet someone regular enough there's always a chance of feelings developing, these things do sometimes catch you off guard, I know of one former fab couple that aren't a couple anymore for that reason, I still met the female half Occassionally

If there staying at home for the kids etc and getting sex else where do you really think they would leave for a fuck

You didn't raise that issue till now I responded to your first statement and I don't doubt some would leave a sexless marriage for a relationship with a plentiful sexlife, if it would make them happy, regardless of children involved or not. Some couples are better parents separated staying together for the kids sake isn't always the best option, it can cause underlying bitterness and the kids do pick up on that, I did with my parents that did just that

A fuck is a fuck at the end of the day! Fab and ppls private life are to seperate lifes. Unless your life is just about swinging. Some ppl can switch off feelings like a light switch. And if it works for them then good luck to them

Yes they can and my side of the argument was that some people can't and some think they can then their feelings catch them off guard. To quote a popular saying sometimes shit happens

Its not a argument. Its a 1st for me to have someone being adult about my comments and not turning it around or trying to put me down "

In hindsight I perhaps should have used the word debate instead of argument.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I don't like to see anyone get hurt.

So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse .. "

You see that's the thing Dan,why is it seen as someone being on their 'high horse' or being the 'moral police' when they don't meet those that cheat? I am hopefully neither,yes I have my opinion's most of which I keep to myself as I don't know peoples circumstances,but we alway's hear the same thing's don't we!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am surprised that noone challenged OPs original statement that cheaters are not 'real swingers'. If you want to get technical nor are singles. Originally swingers were married couples meeting other married couples. Therefore singles meeting is not swinging. Although if the single person swings with a married couple that would be real swinging and resolve OPs issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the married men i meet are not there because they simply want sex, they actually mainly want to be wanted by a woman. They also equally want to give pleasure and feel the emotional reward for giving it.

Where, for various reasons, a partner refuses or does not enjoy sex, NSA "cheating" can provide a much needed relief valve.

It is not for me to judge them and i do not call them cheaters. I am saddened when hard liners judge others before they have "walked a mile in their shoes."

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Most of the married men i meet are not there because they simply want sex, they actually mainly want to be wanted by a woman. They also equally want to give pleasure and feel the emotional reward for giving it.

Where, for various reasons, a partner refuses or does not enjoy sex, NSA "cheating" can provide a much needed relief valve.

It is not for me to judge them and i do not call them cheaters. I am saddened when hard liners judge others before they have "walked a mile in their shoes." "

Clearly you do indeed judge. You assume the ones that don't meet cheaters don't understand the plight of a sexless marriage some do

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

Most clubs would be empty without married people attending them. That is married couples who are married to other people and singles with partners at home. We don't ask for marriage licenses on the way in.

It's a choice with possible consequences.

The person who sleeps with a married person, also has a choice and must pay the consequences if caught. But as we are all adults, we shouldn't be casting aspersions on what our swinging friends find morally right and wrong.

I get calls near enough every month from partners who have found out that other halves have attended the club. Do I feel guilty being a facilitator? No I don't. I didn't drag the married man/woman into my club.

The problem really gets messy when married people start off having sex and then strong feelings develop. It's a whole load of hurt that only ends in tears all round.

Sex outside the marriage is one thing and a personal choice. But when it becomes more than just sex, then it's a much bigger problem and that's when everyone involved needs to think long and hard about what happens next and why it has happened in the first place!

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."

Totally agree X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like to see anyone get hurt.

So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse ..

You see that's the thing Dan,why is it seen as someone being on their 'high horse' or being the 'moral police' when they don't meet those that cheat? I am hopefully neither,yes I have my opinion's most of which I keep to myself as I don't know peoples circumstances,but we alway's hear the same thing's don't we!"

I have no problem with those that choose not to meet married people. At all. In fact I fully understand it and respect it.

However when people come on here criticising the life choices of others when they don't know their backstory or the journey they've been through that ultimately led them to make that decision to sign up on here, then they're making a (in many cases ill-informed) judgement on those people. And, in most cases, it's a derogatory judgement looking down on them, so to those people I stand by my comment.

However I do accept this isn't always the case and also accept people are allowed to hold their own views on who they meet and why

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"I am surprised that noone challenged OPs original statement that cheaters are not 'real swingers'. If you want to get technical nor are singles. Originally swingers were married couples meeting other married couples. Therefore singles meeting is not swinging. Although if the single person swings with a married couple that would be real swinging and resolve OPs issue. "

The real swingers debate has been done to death and I couldn't give a flying foof whether people think me a real swinger or not

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I don't like to see anyone get hurt.

So in the interests of health and safety please go careful and take extra care when disembarking that high horse ..

You see that's the thing Dan,why is it seen as someone being on their 'high horse' or being the 'moral police' when they don't meet those that cheat? I am hopefully neither,yes I have my opinion's most of which I keep to myself as I don't know peoples circumstances,but we alway's hear the same thing's don't we!

I have no problem with those that choose not to meet married people. At all. In fact I fully understand it and respect it.

However when people come on here criticising the life choices of others when they don't know their backstory or the journey they've been through that ultimately led them to make that decision to sign up on here, then they're making a (in many cases ill-informed) judgement on those people. And, in most cases, it's a derogatory judgement looking down on them, so to those people I stand by my comment.

However I do accept this isn't always the case and also accept people are allowed to hold their own views on who they meet and why

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've also been in abusive relationships, and was in a virtually sex less marriage for 15yrs, but I didn't stray. My choice not to, (I got damn good at masturbating!!!) I've had it done to me and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. I can't choose for other people how they live their lives, all I can choose is how I live mine. So I choose not to (knowingly) meet attached people, but on politely turning guys down on here for that reason have received pissy responses was once told to fuck off onto match which made me chuckle!!! playing in clubs makes it virtually impossible to make those informed choices, but I go there with a different mindset to those I meet more intimately in my/their houses....I go to a club to be "fucked", I meet intimately with people I'd like to be friends with too. Hence only looking for those who can accommodate. It's all personal choice, doesn't mean we all have to agree with each other.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've also been in abusive relationships, and was in a virtually sex less marriage for 15yrs, but I didn't stray. My choice not to, (I got damn good at masturbating!!!) I've had it done to me and wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. I can't choose for other people how they live their lives, all I can choose is how I live mine. So I choose not to (knowingly) meet attached people, but on politely turning guys down on here for that reason have received pissy responses was once told to fuck off onto match which made me chuckle!!! playing in clubs makes it virtually impossible to make those informed choices, but I go there with a different mindset to those I meet more intimately in my/their houses....I go to a club to be "fucked", I meet intimately with people I'd like to be friends with too. Hence only looking for those who can accommodate. It's all personal choice, doesn't mean we all have to agree with each other.xx"
.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him ."

well said ,

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him .

well said , "
.

Unless you're an atheist

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him .

well said , "

I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him .

well said ,

I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?! "

True he even frowns upon on you looking at someone and think phwoar! Let alone promiscuously fucking them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had two horrible marriages. My first husband was an alcoholic and drank all through the 7 years i tolerated it and i had a young daughter at the time. I cheated at the very end of the marriage and yet i got told off by a so called friend that it was wrong to do that and yet quite acceptable to tolerate a d*unk who cheated on me. My second husband cheated on me with men . I didnt cheat on him but now i wish i had.

I was in a physically abusive marriage for 15 years finally grew a pair of balls and left. But never cheated I'm making up for it now though "

Strong character, a lot of respect and may your adventures continue x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him .

well said ,

I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?! "

Because most if not all religious folk are outright hypocrites

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say."

But it's ok for those children to have a mum or dad who is knowingly risking the family unit for 20 minutes of extramarital fun?. What kind of example is that setting?

If you stay, that you're a doormat, you're showing that it's acceptable to be cheated on, that it's ok to be treated poorly.

Or you can stay, put up with the lies, put up with being treated badly "for the sake of children" and just live in misery with low self esteem. But yeah, the kids are happy because mum and dad are together and of course kids don't pick up on anything do they

Children are far more resilient and would adjust to seperated parents, rather than the stress of living in a home with a bad atmosphere and arguments.

If someone wants to cheat then fine, that's their choice. But if the cheated on party wants to leave them, whether or not children are involved, then that is understandable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never heard such a crock of sh#t in my life! Those who think that cheaters should have the balls to end their relationship are pretty poor amateur psychologists!

Branding people as "cheaters" and assuming they are all doing the same thing, to the same extent and for the same reason makes me glad you're not a judge or responsible for UK immigration policy. It's not a long way to go from "cheaters!" to "foreigners!"

Branding anyone with a label that you decide they should wear because they don't conform to your view of acceptable is the Mistake Hitler made! Some of you who mention castration etc should have a long hard look at yourselves while we count ourselves lucky that B&Q don't sell gas chambers!!

FYI i bet if you asked the man in the street what was more disgusting a man cheating on his wife or a woman taking one cock up her pussy, another down her throat then both guys jizzing in her face, i reckon he'd say the cheater was socially more "the norm!"

That's just my view and i would not want to shove that down your throat...my cock however is still on offer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/16 11:41:00]

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs

I agree

And to say to leave a marriage which could involve children is in my opinion, a very naive thing to say.

But it's ok for those children to have a mum or dad who is knowingly risking the family unit for 20 minutes of extramarital fun?. What kind of example is that setting?

If you stay, that you're a doormat, you're showing that it's acceptable to be cheated on, that it's ok to be treated poorly.

Or you can stay, put up with the lies, put up with being treated badly "for the sake of children" and just live in misery with low self esteem. But yeah, the kids are happy because mum and dad are together and of course kids don't pick up on anything do they

Children are far more resilient and would adjust to seperated parents, rather than the stress of living in a home with a bad atmosphere and arguments.

If someone wants to cheat then fine, that's their choice. But if the cheated on party wants to leave them, whether or not children are involved, then that is understandable. "

Suppose it's a couple that have been together for years and love each other very much and want to stay married but they just don't have sex anymore. Should they divorce and rip apart a happy family just so one can have sex? I know it's a very simplistic example but it shows that we don't know why some married folk are swingers. Everyone has their own reasons and unless they want to tell us we would be guessing and possibly doing them a disservice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its something you either could or couldnt do

its a decision you and your conscience will make

morals, values and opinions on shit like this will have been formed long before you joined a swing site

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Never heard such a crock of sh#t in my life! Those who think that cheaters should have the balls to end their relationship are pretty poor amateur psychologists!

Branding people as "cheaters" and assuming they are all doing the same thing, to the same extent and for the same reason makes me glad you're not a judge or responsible for UK immigration policy. It's not a long way to go from "cheaters!" to "foreigners!"

Branding anyone with a label that you decide they should wear because they don't conform to your view of acceptable is the Mistake Hitler made! Some of you who mention castration etc should have a long hard look at yourselves while we count ourselves lucky that B&Q don't sell gas chambers!!

FYI i bet if you asked the man in the street what was more disgusting a man cheating on his wife or a woman taking one cock up her pussy, another down her throat then both guys jizzing in her face, i reckon he'd say the cheater was socially more "the norm!"

That's just my view and i would not want to shove that down your throat...my cock however is still on offer!

"

Notice how you didn't mention the ones labelled the moral police or on their high horses, oh wait you did you just don't agree with their right to an opinion and make judgment on the matter. As I've previously mentioned it's a common hypocritical stance on these threads.

As a promiscuous woman I know what I do is wrong to many and I continue to do it, in the same way a cheat does I just choose not to do it with a cheat, that's equally allowed to be respected on the ground of "I have my reasons".

I also find its a bit of a bitch slap that a promiscuous woman (and a single one especially) is still classed as more morally Incorrupt than a cheater, so if that's your opinion you can keep your cock to yourself as you're really in the wrong place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are not married people who swing in breach of their marriage vows and making a mockery of a sacred institution. Should they not divorce first and swing as an unmarried couple to satisfy their extra marital desires? Following OP's logic should not married couples that swing be condemned and avoided by single people for immorality and not encouraged to degrade a fundemental bed rock of society?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did i forget to mention that i'm not actually married. Been in the same relationship for a couple of decades and have a family but am not married. I call her my wife because SOME PEOPLE don't get how you can spend decades with the same person and not be married.

So...am i a cheater to the same degree if i am cheating on my girlfriend as opposed to my wife?

Who's doing what with who is bugger all to do with anyone else except the people doing it.

If my other half cheated on me i would love it, as long as love didn't enter into it. FFS i have been asking her to have fun with another bloke since i met her, it's the one big "failing" that stops me being perfect so she puts up with it.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Did i forget to mention that i'm not actually married. Been in the same relationship for a couple of decades and have a family but am not married. I call her my wife because SOME PEOPLE don't get how you can spend decades with the same person and not be married.

So...am i a cheater to the same degree if i am cheating on my girlfriend as opposed to my wife?

Who's doing what with who is bugger all to do with anyone else except the people doing it.

If my other half cheated on me i would love it, as long as love didn't enter into it. FFS i have been asking her to have fun with another bloke since i met her, it's the one big "failing" that stops me being perfect so she puts up with it."

Your attached and not married there is still another person involved. She may put up with it and may be utterly miserable doing so, of course can't speak for your partner i don't know (or I might I've found 7 degrees of separation does work on fab more than once), but I know a lot of women in the same situation and that kind of resentment (if it's there) builds only until the person reached breaking point, then if that's the case she could stray, love may very well be involved (since she apparently won't swing) and then where would you be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another person involved?

Have you told your mum, your dad, your children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles that you swing?

We all have our secrets, I have told my partner that i would love to see her fucking another bloke and everything that i'd like to see them doing. I go into a lot of detail and have numerous fantasies that i'd love to see enacted including me not being there.

BUT! When all said and done she knows that i love her 100%. I support her in everything she does. We have great sex and she knows that i think it would be better sex if we could involve others. She is my rock and i am hers AND we both appreciate that even though sexually we aren't 100% on the same page, sex is a very small fraction of a truly great relationship.

We don't need a bit of paper to say we are committed, we just are and neither of us would have it any other way.

Oh...Have you told your mum yet, surely you don't want to lie to her for your whole life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

If you are asking a bunch of swingers a moral based question all i can add is good luck!! "

That would imply swinging is immoral and I'm sorry we definitely still have morals . Someone who is married and having sex behind their partners is back is a cheat and as no morals there is no grey area . A couple swinging together is generally a happy trusting couple with probably more morals than a couple who doesn't swing

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"People only cheat if they are unhappy in a relashionship or there is no sex ,every body has needs "

But if only one half of the couple is cheating then what about half of the couple? Are they just meant to remain sexless?

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Another person involved?

Have you told your mum, your dad, your children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles that you swing?

We all have our secrets, I have told my partner that i would love to see her fucking another bloke and everything that i'd like to see them doing. I go into a lot of detail and have numerous fantasies that i'd love to see enacted including me not being there.

BUT! When all said and done she knows that i love her 100%. I support her in everything she does. We have great sex and she knows that i think it would be better sex if we could involve others. She is my rock and i am hers AND we both appreciate that even though sexually we aren't 100% on the same page, sex is a very small fraction of a truly great relationship.

We don't need a bit of paper to say we are committed, we just are and neither of us would have it any other way.

Oh...Have you told your mum yet, surely you don't want to lie to her for your whole life?"

Do monogamous couples or singles discuss either sex life, their fetishes, their porn preferences, their sex toys with their mums, dads, children, siblings etc? No? Then why do you think swingers should?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rubbish!

John 8:7 - "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!" I do believe it was a woman who had been shagging around that JC used this line to protect!

Was JC talking sh#t too?

Because someone cheats it does not mean they have no morals! I wonder how many cheats put more into the collection bucket than you when they see starving children on TV??

If Aston Martin decide to put a plastic start button on your dashboard does that also make their car crap?

Do i really need to go on?

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"Only one can judge us and they cruisified him .

well said ,

I truly don't see how you can be Catholic / Christian and be on this site?!

Because most if not all religious folk are outright hypocrites "

true , its a case of do what i say not what i do , if you dont want to meet married people playing away dont , theres plenty that will , just keep your judgemental comments to yourself,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. "

You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here Here!

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By *ackett1962Man
over a year ago

harrow

Not sure where the O P is going with this. My own view is that if 2 adults are consenting then that's ok if both are aware of the others situation. They alone know the risks they are taking irrespective of their religion. As with all Religions there are a massive amount of contradictions. I'm a Catholic (non practising) and am expected to believe about a woman who was a virgin give birth to a child.!!! Without trying to sound sanctimonious, I believe all religions are based on one thing Money.

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By *ackett1962Man
over a year ago

harrow

Now before the shit hits the fan, I have to say I have every respect for all people's religious beliefs and am not fir one second condemning their beliefs. As Dave Allen ( comedian) used to say ...may your God go with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge.

Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun."

Biting my tongue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

If you are asking a bunch of swingers a moral based question all i can add is good luck!!

That would imply swinging is immoral and I'm sorry we definitely still have morals . Someone who is married and having sex behind their partners is back is a cheat and as no morals there is no grey area . A couple swinging together is generally a happy trusting couple with probably more morals than a couple who doesn't swing "

To clarify : you have YOUR morals, which are subjective. Other people might think swinging is immoral based on THEIR morals.

There's only "no grey area" as you are applying YOUR ethical code on all others. Who says yours are right?

By the way, I respect your view and your right to your ethical and moralistic viewpoint. Your view that any cheater has "no morals" is your subjective view only - as someone else has said that cheater might have much more virtuous morals in other aspects of life than a 'faithful' swinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now before the shit hits the fan, I have to say I have every respect for all people's religious beliefs and am not fir one second condemning their beliefs. As Dave Allen ( comedian) used to say ...may your God go with you."

I watched the teaching to tell the time sketch a few weeks ago

Legendary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!!

Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. "

I just kind of looked up a dictionary definition of adultery.

Adultery: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not their spouse.

and another definition from Wikipedia:

A non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others (i.e.not their spouse).

By the way that last definition was for swinging!

Just saying! Not judging.

(Pan, Pot, Kettle etc.)

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Personally I don't want to meet married guys or gals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.

You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. "

But they don't see it that way so it must be ok ...

The hypocrisy of it all....and religious people aren't worse as some here are trying to point out. It's just you also have a higher expectation of them....but fundamentally they are no different than yourself.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"Another person involved?

Have you told your mum, your dad, your children, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles that you swing?

We all have our secrets, I have told my partner that i would love to see her fucking another bloke and everything that i'd like to see them doing. I go into a lot of detail and have numerous fantasies that i'd love to see enacted including me not being there.

BUT! When all said and done she knows that i love her 100%. I support her in everything she does. We have great sex and she knows that i think it would be better sex if we could involve others. She is my rock and i am hers AND we both appreciate that even though sexually we aren't 100% on the same page, sex is a very small fraction of a truly great relationship.

We don't need a bit of paper to say we are committed, we just are and neither of us would have it any other way.

Oh...Have you told your mum yet, surely you don't want to lie to her for your whole life?"

Yes my some of family know it's why my face is on show I have nothing to hide and own the consequences of my decisions. But thanks for the judgement from someone claiming to not be judgemental

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Its the cheaters choice, not ours to quiz them on there personal life or ours to judge their choice.

Blaming the people who shag a cheater, for making it possible. Is like blaming a fork for making you fat...

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"Its the cheaters choice, not ours to quiz them on there personal life or ours to judge their choice.

Blaming the people who shag a cheater, for making it possible. Is like blaming a fork for making you fat..."

blame the mouth for eating what's on the fork ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.

You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its the cheaters choice, not ours to quiz them on there personal life or ours to judge their choice.

Blaming the people who shag a cheater, for making it possible. Is like blaming a fork for making you fat...

blame the mouth for eating what's on the fork , "

Wonder if there will be a spate of...'goodbye fab' threads after this...or is it just block fodder

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By *ustaceSmithMan
over a year ago

Woodbridge

Speaking philosophically - and not intending to lecture anyone - it must surely be clear that "cheating" is wrong: because it involves doing something which, if seized of the facts, the marital partner might (or might not!) consider to be incompatible with the marital relationship. The co-cheater is likewise wrong: simply by association. But sometimes one engages in wrong actions: that is human.

Furthermore, since one of the essential aspects of "swinging" is honesty, no-one should be surprised if cheating causes offence on a swingers' website (the clue lies in its name).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest you are speaking personally and not philosophically. Inherent on your homily is a lecture and your definition of swinging is entirely personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could just leave them to get on with it.

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By *ustaceSmithMan
over a year ago

Woodbridge


"I would suggest you are speaking personally and not philosophically. Inherent on your homily is a lecture and your definition of swinging is entirely personal. "

Oddly enough, I know my own mind. And I cannot imagine that anyone could seriously disagree that one of the essential features of swinging is honesty; obviously not the only feature.

The Humpty Dumpty relativism that words mean what one personally wants them to mean - and that one is entitled to do whatever one wants and to evade all responsibility, regardless of context - is, in philosophical circles at least, radically out of fashion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with?

People who do realise the other

person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "
strange site to be moralistic each to their own

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

I don't meet cheaters but Its not for me to judge people. I kinda just don't like the whole persona that goes with it. Id rather meet people that can show respect for others and be fully up front rather than secretive and deceitful. Just the kind of people I prefer to have around me to be honest. Id rather just stay away from them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex. "

In your opinion.......I am not married, I do not need to have bollocks to leave anybody. There are a lot of sanctimonious people on Fab. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

My FWB was married when we first met, I have been seeing him for 2and a half years. He was in a sexless unhappy marriage. I don't think it's your business OP to judge people in any way. I am not guilty of anything. I don't know why people can't just mind their own business and get on with their own lives. X

If you are in a sexless failing marriage have the bolox to leave gracefully there are no excuses, cheating does ruin lives and families, and for what? A fuck!! Have to agree with the OP adultery is not justifiable in any circumstance, and loyalty cant be governed purely by sex.

You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery.

"

Sanctimonious bullshit XXX

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I don't meet cheaters but Its not for me to judge people. I kinda just don't like the whole persona that goes with it. Id rather meet people that can show respect for others and be fully up front rather than secretive and deceitful. Just the kind of people I prefer to have around me to be honest. Id rather just stay away from them. "

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "

But it's none of your business, I agree no one likes a cheater but it's not for anyone to judge them. Chances are you not anyone else has any idea of their personal circumstances or the reasons they are cheating. If you don't like it say no thanks and move on.

And no I am not cheating and yes I have been cheated on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post is a load of bullshit. Why are some people so bothered about what other people do....Just jog on and mind your own business. Fab moral police x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it "

Have you got nothing better to do with your time than stick your moralistic nose into other people's affairs, judge people and take the moral high ground. Bit rich coming from someone on a sex site. Jog on and go poke your nose into something else. X

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"This post is a load of bullshit. Why are some people so bothered about what other people do....Just jog on and mind your own business. Fab moral police x"

If you don't want judging for your actions and personal choices don't judge the "moral police" for theirs, take your own advice and jog on. It does work both ways you know

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"You could just leave them to get on with it."

let him without sin cast the first stone... thats most of us fucked ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

Have you got nothing better to do with your time than stick your moralistic nose into other people's affairs, judge people and take the moral high ground. Bit rich coming from someone on a sex site. Jog on and go poke your nose into something else. X"

you come across way worse in your posts tiger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But when you look at bigger picture...'heat of the moment' action could actually ruin someone's life. Pernamently. Would person, who agreed to 'help' a cheater, would feel guilty? Even a little bit? Or that wouldn't be their business? "
there life there choice .why let it worry u if it doesn't concern you

...if u arnt paying the persons bills ect then it's nothing to do with you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't meet married men, my choice. I don't feel the need to tell them off but if that's the reason I won't meet them I tell them. I was told yesterday I was "sexist" for that decision, I can't wait to hear the reasoning behind that. My problem is the men who lie about their relationship status and don't give me the right to decide. "
...did u feel bad after us fucked them or did u enjoy it tho

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

My point is.....there is a lot of people who disapprove this kind of behaviour (I'm one of them) and wouldn't blink twice before telling them off....BUT what about people they are cheating with? People who do realise the other person is in realationship, that their partner doesn't know about their other sex activities? Surely they are guilty too.... Are they more guilty though? Afterall if they haven't said Yes in first place the cheater wouldn't have a chance to do so... But then you don't hear about it that much... It's usually the cheater who gets most of the blame if not all of it

Have you got nothing better to do with your time than stick your moralistic nose into other people's affairs, judge people and take the moral high ground. Bit rich coming from someone on a sex site. Jog on and go poke your nose into something else. X"

You're doing the same and sticking your nose into his business, fair is fair.

The problem is where the person draws their moral line it's obvious where both lines are drawn in this instance.

Ive said it before and I'll say it again if you can't accept all the consequences of your actions (and in this case if that being frowned upon by the people you name the moral police) then you shouldn't be doing what your doing.

I'm a promiscuous woman, what am doing is immoral to many, I accept that and I'm happy to be called a slag, a slut or any other name by someone that draws their moral line at calling me wrong for doing it. Do I believe they are right no because I have a different moral code, do I try to belittle them by calling them names, no they are entitled to their opinion, I just disagree with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would suggest you are speaking personally and not philosophically. Inherent on your homily is a lecture and your definition of swinging is entirely personal.

Oddly enough, I know my own mind. And I cannot imagine that anyone could seriously disagree that one of the essential features of swinging is honesty; obviously not the only feature.

The Humpty Dumpty relativism that words mean what one personally wants them to mean - and that one is entitled to do whatever one wants and to evade all responsibility, regardless of context - is, in philosophical circles at least, radically out of fashion."
Erm please point to an official definition of swinging. I would bet £50 that no dictionary definition includes honesty. Therefore l suspect you were being relativist by including your own definition of swinging. This debate and others on fab clearly show that people see the essentials of swinging differently and define it differently. Therefore you are deliberately ignoring and discount all the views honestly held that differ from yours. Because most sanctimonious swingers live in a bubble they do not see how morally doubtful their own actions and all swingers are seen by society. Hence last year's Swingfields media outbreak of indignation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone is going to cheat. We are not enabling them. We dnt have a problem with meeting married men.its our choice and theirs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amazing how this gets under so many people's skin...If you're really above it why get involved even in posting in it...your absence from it would speak more volumes than what you could say here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You could just leave them to get on with it.

let him without sin cast the first stone... thats most of us fucked , "

Hopefully, quite soon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You could just leave them to get on with it.

let him without sin cast the first stone... thats most of us fucked ,

Hopefully, quite soon! "

Tomorrow

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

i know the OP was about cheating, not swinging, But these threads always bring up a lot of anti-swinging sentiment, which i wouldn't expect on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet up with a woman I am attracted to, not a marital status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if people check martial status , when playing at a club ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll happily meet a cheater. I don't judge.

Someone judges me for that? Their problem. Sit enjoying your judgement, I'm having fun."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...

You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change. "

who has the rights to define what a ''real'' swinger is ?? what morals doe's one have when we are all on a sex /swingers site ?? my moto is judge no one apart from yourself

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster


"So...we established that cheaters are not 'real swingers' yet there is lot of them out there. That will never change.

who has the rights to define what a ''real'' swinger is ?? what morals doe's one have when we are all on a sex /swingers site ?? my moto is judge no one apart from yourself "

Your not above making judgement of others, on this site you do it every day you contemplate wether to meet someone or not purely given on the information provided to you and im guessing rarely look beyond that so don't act above it with bull shit like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok if you say so ...

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

TLDR

Obviously outraged/in full support/sat on the fence*

*delete until you decide you want to meet me because I'm spot on with my comment.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery. "

Is it agreed that adultery is the same as cheating though? As far as I can see, most of the couples on here know exactly when their spouses are having sex with someone else, but when a guy or woman on here is playing away, and states on their profile their spouse doesn't know they are doing that, can we class them the same as the couple playing together?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery.

Is it agreed that adultery is the same as cheating though? As far as I can see, most of the couples on here know exactly when their spouses are having sex with someone else, but when a guy or woman on here is playing away, and states on their profile their spouse doesn't know they are doing that, can we class them the same as the couple playing together?"

Funnily enough if you look up the dictionary definitions, cheating has a moral definition, adultery merely a legal one - so the latter is simply 'having sex with someone who is not your spouse', but the former is always 'unfair or dishonest'.

So swingers are mostly having adultery by mutual consent, cheaters are doing something without consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You do know the definition of adultery is having sexual relations with someone who isn't your spouse ? You're a couple, so therefore if either of you have sexual relations with any other person, regardless of whether your partner knows or not, it's adultery.

Is it agreed that adultery is the same as cheating though? As far as I can see, most of the couples on here know exactly when their spouses are having sex with someone else, but when a guy or woman on here is playing away, and states on their profile their spouse doesn't know they are doing that, can we class them the same as the couple playing together?"

If you look back at the quote I applied this to, it was directed back at the poster who was criticising people who commit adultery, and yet, ironically, has been committing adultery her very self by having sexual relations with people who weren't her spouse.

He who lives in glass houses, and all that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People say there's no excuse for cheating, I can think of many..

What if you say you're leaving and your partner refuses to let you see your children, maybe theyre going to return home, abroad.

Maybe your partner is violent and you're hate them but you're too scare to leave, but know you can get away with cheating.

Or they can no longer have sex but you are still totally in love but you don't want to hurt them by telling them you need sex.

Perhaps you were about to leave and they found out they were dying and you want to support them till the end even though youre not inlove with them any more.

Probably lots of other reasons to, or those that just want to. Either way it's nobody elses business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wonder if people check martial status , when playing at a club ?

"

They all do..its common knowledge.....they get out their phones and make sure each time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bit that makes me laugh is the couples on here who say that they have open and honest relationships with each other and then the men message single females looking for meets behind their partners back.

Several times a week this happens to me on here. This has been couples I have met and couples I haven't met.

I try not to meet attached men as I have had the irate other women turn up on my doorstep or at my work. Too much drama for me.

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By *kyndaveCouple
over a year ago

South Leicestershire

Surely this only matters to those who care what people think of them. Or not.

Threads are never closed, they just sleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" The bit that makes me laugh is the couples on here who say that they have open and honest relationships with each other and then the men message single females looking for meets behind their partners back.

Several times a week this happens to me on here. This has been couples I have met and couples I haven't met.

I try not to meet attached men as I have had the irate other women turn up on my doorstep or at my work. Too much drama for me. "

I've had a few married ladies independently tell me that vocal anti-cheaters on the forums have messaged them seeking to meet them in private - it seems that people's morals slip when it's a bisexual married lady prepared to fulfil their FFM fantasy

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