FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for single guys

By *iquidator OP Man
over a year ago

london

So, you have appeared at our little slice of hell with the sole purpose to throw your wang around. I would welcome you and say how nice it is for you to be here, but I don't lie. A few things to note, don't take this site too seriously and don't expect meets, this is so you won't get pissed off and commit “fabicide”. If you ignore this advice your soul will be crushed by the pointy heels of hostile and prickly women. Be warned. I like to compare the site to diamond mining, there is a ton of crap to wade through but the gem completely outweighs the effort you put in.

Feel free to peruse the smorgasbord of single ladies just waiting to meet you in your Travelodge in some part of town reminiscent of communist Russia. A quick browse through and you have selected an unfortunate recipient for your vulgar monologue. With one hand you press send while thinking “She'll love this shit!”. Now here is the interesting part, what happens with your message? In order of likelihood to happen:

Joint first place. The message gets deleted or left unread. Not much to say about the deleted message. Block and move on I guess. But the left unread message is interesting. There is the ability to read the message and revert it back to an unread message. Not sure why that little gem is there, but it is. Another reason could be that your message just hasn't appeared on the lucky lady's radar, this could be due to a site problem (only so many messages appear in an inbox) or it could be lost amongst the tons of other messages with the title “hello”.

Second place. The message gets read but not deleted with no reply. Quite common. One does wonder why they are waiting to reply. Maybe she has gone to jack off to your message. Or maybe she has gone to pour bleach into her eyes after looking at your profile. Employ the 1 week rule here, no reply within 1 week means she really isn't interested. Time to move on.

Third place. She actually bloody replied! Jebus was looking down on you that day, fella. A conversation has been born. There is also the strong chance she gets bored and vanishes, or your repugnant facial features puts her off. Or maybe (just maybe) she has all the vigour of a mollusc and bores the hell out of you. Who knows, just keep it light and interesting.

Fourth place. She is foolish enough to want to meet you for a drink. High fives all round, you did something right. Time to slap on some Hai Karate, you are about to use your 2012 Summer Olympics novelty condom (nicely coloured in silver). You swan out of your slightly condemned council bedsit like Billy Bigballs. This is your time to shine so make sure you do it well. Remember that you are not with your bricky mates from work, show some decorum and don't be rude, keep it nice and maybe a little flirty. So, she has shoved enough rum and down her throat to drown a medium size hippo and suggests going to a hotel. I am not a biology teacher so I won't guide you through what happens next. Try guessing or maybe use Google.

If you fail to get past joint first place (or even second place) and start to doubt yourself as a desirable person. Try these tips.

1)Have a well presented and well worded profile with a nice face picture, clothed picture or arty nude picture. Not a cock picture, anything but that (and defiantly not a cock pic with a can or Sky remote as a measuring device). Write something about you and what you are looking for.

2)The ratio of of men to women on this site is beyond a joke (1 woman to 10 men possibly), so it is difficult to get anywhere here. But don't forget, not every profile is nauseating detritus, there are numerous other women who are friendly, approachable and will chat to you.

3)Pick your profiles wisely. If someone is advertised as a 'party girl' organising gangbangs at £100 a pop, does she really want to sit with you to watch Star Trek?

4)Read profiles. Some are deliberately long to out those guys who don't want to put any effort in. This is understandable but can come across as picky and slightly tedious. If you like the sound of their profile and managed to stay awake for the whole thesis, by all means send a message.

5)Send a nicely worded friendly and engaging message that is personalised to the person.

6)If someone is interested, believe me, they will let you know.

7)Things take time, especially when messaging.

8)Get yourself to a social. I have heard mixed things about them (cliquey, too many men etc). But it might be worth a shot to get yourself known as a nice guy and not a knobhead.

9)Don't get shitty. If a woman gets you in a shitty mood, is she really worth engaging with or meeting?

10)Remember what I said at the beginning (not taking it too seriously bit) and have fun.

If you have been here for a good period of time and women still vomit at the mere mention of your name, maybe accept this site doesn't work for you and try the whole host of other sites/apps aimed at getting your willy wet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Good advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind a cock pic amongst other pics in a profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Made me laugh. Bravo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op I really agree with what you put in the opening post

Mrs s x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a really good effort that OP

Congrats

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's up with sky remote cock pics? Old school classic and an accurate measuring device. Apart from that all good advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Haha good post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Absolutely brillant post, well done sir

all very very true!! H (female)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hurrah Hurrah

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

peruse later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with most of the above, or slight variations on the theme - the thing that made me laugh was looking at the OP's profile to find he has a photo of himself on a motorbike, which having spoken to numerous women on swing/dating sites, is a massive no-no!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I agree with most of the above, or slight variations on the theme - the thing that made me laugh was looking at the OP's profile to find he has a photo of himself on a motorbike, which having spoken to numerous women on swing/dating sites, is a massive no-no!"

Really? Why?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Is it? I like bikers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never heard anyone say photos on a motorbike are a massive no-no

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to add to that - the bit about blocking? I don't understand why people block each other when you send them a nice email.

If they don't want to reply that's entirely up to them, I never email someone a second time because I'm not a desperate dickhead hassling people. It happens though. I sent a nice email to someone just now, it was deleted and she blocked me - despite my email being nicely worded, well thought out, and personal to her.

This in itself is part of the problem that people on here propagate, and make men lazy when it comes to contact.

The OP should also have added that the ratio of read/deleted/unread/replied to emails on here is absolutely terrible, and you have to spend hours (literally) emailing people to get anywhere.

Women get so much email that the chances of success are extremely low. Men send so much shit email that the chances are extremely low.

As a result, those of us that are genuinely interested in meeting people, and are genuinely nice people, often lose heart and waste a lot of time running down blind alleys.

Responses from couples is even worse than women on here.....I could go on about this for house, but I'll be accused of being a hard luck story. That's not the case by the way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men on bikes/in cars/next to cars/holding large carp is a running joke on a lot of dating sites.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Just to add to that - the bit about blocking? I don't understand why people block each other when you send them a nice email.

This in itself is part of the problem that people on here propagate, and make men lazy when it comes to contact.

The OP should also have added that the ratio of read/deleted/unread/replied to emails on here is absolutely terrible, and you have to spend hours (literally) emailing people to get anywhere.

Women get so much email that the chances of success are extremely low. Men send so much shit email that the chances are extremely low.

As a result, those of us that are genuinely interested in meeting people, and are genuinely nice people, often lose heart and waste a lot of time running down blind alleys.

Responses from couples is even worse than women on here.....I could go on about this for house, but I'll be accused of being a hard luck story. That's not the case by the way

I think you're more likely to be accused of blaming other guys for your problems getting replies and generally doing down others casting yourself imperiously as one of the "genuinely nice people"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're more likely to be accused of blaming other guys for your problems getting replies and generally doing down others casting yourself imperiously as one of the "genuinely nice people"

Someone is always going to have an accusation, yes, but this thread is about advice. I am a genuinely nice person - I'm not sure why that needs to be highlighted as a problem, since I go out of my way in every aspect of my life to be kind, respectful, and well, genuinely nice to everyone I come across.

You've classically picked up on only half the problem - the guys - as is often the case, ignoring my other point about the amount of email women get.

If you want to make me out to be a bad-guy with a blame-culture, then you're quite wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love bikers mmmmmm more guys in leathers pics please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

You've clearly thought too much about this and have too much time on your hands. Well done though because some of the points you make are so true and do boggle the mind of the inquisitive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Men on bikes/in cars/next to cars/holding large carp is a running joke on a lot of dating sites."

That's because cars, bikes, and fishing are traditional hobbies. Makes a change from the ubiquitous cock shot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I think you're more likely to be accused of blaming other guys for your problems getting replies and generally doing down others casting yourself imperiously as one of the "genuinely nice people"

You've classically picked up on only half the problem - the guys - as is often the case, ignoring my other point about the amount of email women get.

If you want to make me out to be a bad-guy with a blame-culture, then you're quite wrong."

You assume that every woman on here gets 100s of message a day. What's your reasoning when that's not true?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not every woman - you assume everything I've said applies to you, and literally everyone - which is quite obviously not the case.

There are always going to be exceptions to every rule, or point of view about this, or any given subject, or theory about everything and anything in the universe.

This isn't about proving each others points right or wrong - it's just a viewpoint. I'm not trying to outdo anyone, or make people out to be any particular thing. It's merely a few added points from being involved on sites like this, and the scene for over 12 years.

I don't have a problem meeting people, or being nice to people xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ops advice may work for some , but by no means all .

Harmless enough , and some good points .

Somewhat ironic that his only pic is vagueness personified .....

We tend to do the looking for single guys and would pass the ops profile by with just that pic on show .

We also like to see a cock pic amongst others .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iquidator OP Man
over a year ago

london

Thank-you to all those who commented

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *roticGoddessXXWoman
over a year ago

Richmond

Liq--have to add my two cents worth here (yea, cents, as I'm the American Slut, not the British one....)

First off, don't take yourself too seriously is probably the best advice to anyone here that I've yet heard. Unfortunately, not the one most have ever heard. Have fun with it all and move on. End of that one.

2--Bike pics (or car pics or whatever). If you're trying to impress with women with what you have, move on. If you're trying to impress the women with what you ARE....woohoo. well done.

I happen to have a Biker Boy of my own--he doesn't have to impress anyone one...he's just FUCKING AWESOME. So he has a bike pic online here---it's who he is. Anyone who doesn't appreciate it.....lol. Can move on. I'd appreciate it, in fact!

and last of all

3--your comments on profiles:

"Some are deliberately long to out those guys who don't want to put any effort in. This is understandable but can come across as picky and slightly tedious. If you like the sound of their profile and managed to stay awake for the whole thesis, by all means send a message."

I wrote a thesis with the intention of ing out the idiots. Unfortnately, it didn't work nearly as well as I'd hoped. But maybe that's why I only get tens of messages, not hundreds. So...well done, me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very entertaining

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Well that raised a smile on such a Crappy day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

I'm doomed. No motorbike or a carp

As a bonus a reply would be nice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Also post a club review over 80 people viewed my profile yesterday!!!!!!!

More than the whole year lol

But seriously great points !!! - also if you get told sorry not intreasted be politle, and graucious and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Do not send posts saying "I want to lick your pussy" as the first message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ay-Jay-1980Man
over a year ago

surrey

I loved the post _iquidator.... great thinking and advice... Two things resonate with me from what was said.

1 - Do not take the site and yourself too seriously.

2- you have to just keep on trying .

But many great points

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anie1000Woman
over a year ago

Staffs

Is it? I like bikers."

Mmmmmm mmm, me too.

Janie x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have Sky.

I have Virgin. Muhahahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do not send posts saying "I want to lick your pussy" as the first message."

Bugger. Knew it!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Do not send posts saying "I want to lick your pussy" as the first message."

That's my third message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Do not send posts saying "I want to lick your pussy" as the first message.

That's my third message

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Brilliant post ?? humorous and mostly true. Bike pics a no no!!! Been on swinging sites for years and never heard that one before. We like a cock pic, after all that's what she's after ?? also body pics and always a face pic before we decide to meet. A sense of humour and the ability to hold an intelligent conversation and be able to spell of a plus. Love the remote control comment. ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atureandhornyCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Should have read "is a plus" ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha, very good post OP! Top work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a crock of shit been om here long enough n still fuck all because if all the abusive cunts that wreck it for genuine guys like me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

You forgot to mention; "Try to live in a fairly well populated area"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Also; never mention blowjobs! You're guaranteed to not hear back from a woman once you've had the 'bj conversation'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eccymanMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

"I don't mind a cock pic amongst other pics in a profile

My cock pics are for the guys to envy/admire/jerk off at.

I'd be mortified if some strange woman had a fiddle whilst looking at my todger!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andomfodCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"I don't mind a cock pic amongst other pics in a profile

That's fine, but surely not as their only picture/profile picture. We find the cock over the toilet one a turn off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"What a crock of shit been om here long enough n still fuck all because if all the abusive cunts that wreck it for genuine guys like me "

And this week's 'Irony Award' goes to...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot4TeacherMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I enjoyed that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"What a crock of shit been om here long enough n still fuck all because if all the abusive cunts that wreck it for genuine guys like me "

Do you get that by calling them names, you are effectively one yourself?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind a cock pic amongst other pics in a profile

That's fine, but surely not as their only picture/profile picture. We find the cock over the toilet one a turn off."

As a profile pic it doesn't bother me, as the only pic, yes it's a turn off hence me saying amongst other pics in a profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did anyone finish reading the post ..Catch us up ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pringbokMan
over a year ago

tuxford

Hahaha so funny but true , I think I might have made the nice guy level ??????

Awesome post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is how I see it

1) Arty nude (ish) pics every time

And for love a God don't write too much about yourself

(unless you gonna do it in a funny way

) Most of the women simply don't give a shit

We like to talk about ourselves...a lot

2) I am very approachable

so....after getting my reply 'OK' to your message "Fancy a fuck" don't just run away

3)No comment. We went through that too many times on here...

4) Bullshit! I do not care if you gonna read my profile. I want you to want it to read it

Unless you're after pure act of sex then....go ahead

and try not to break any rules

5) friendly message...hmm..... I like a challenge

but then I'm weird so.....no friendly messages please

6)"If someone is interested, believe me, they will let you know" hmmmmm but I like to be chaised

7) zzZzzZzzzZzzzz....if you won't get reply on same day (while other person is online..a lot....) give up and move on

8) Sure why not

9) Shitty moods...yeah that's a real spoiler. Works both ways though

10) Sir, Yes Sir

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good read, will take it on board

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well put indeed !

Most messages and profiles I have read are dreadful

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patience is the key lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Patience is the key lol"
lol after 3years .? How much patience do you have left mate Loll

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Patience is the key lol lol after 3years .? How much patience do you have left mate Loll "
lol got plenty, but I use another site as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

"Just to add to that - the bit about blocking? I don't understand why people block each other when you send them a nice email.

This in itself is part of the problem that people on here propagate, and make men lazy when it comes to contact.

The reason so many block is some people don't just leave it at that like you do or they get rude.

If people are not interested in being contacted, blocking save's people and them coming up in searches and allsorts it doesn't have to be seen as a bad thing.

It's good to hear that you don't hassle people

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

Is it? I like bikers."

your not alone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread