FabSwingers.com forum: Genuine new single male in need of help!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, thanks for reading this.

I'm a single male looking to meet up with females and couples and don't seem to be having much luck so far - I was wondering if my profile is too long or missing something obvious?

I've been out of the game (ie not single, I'm new to swinging) for over 5 years and I'm probably a bit rusty at this! If anyone wants to give me a bit of help it would be greatly appreciated.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

As a new single guy on the site, what you do on your profile, your pics, and your messages counts for about 5% towards your success rate, it's so insignificant it almost makes no difference.

The other 95% will come from you getting yourself out there and getting yourself known.

There's regular socials and swinging clubs around your area, and you are pretty much slap bang in between both venues of the best known swingers club in the uk - Chameleons.

A few visits to those will make no end of difference to getting you started - it might take some guts to do it first time, but if you lack the guts to do it ...... then you're probably in the wrong place to begin with.

To be honest though, from what you've said, I think you're probably in the wrong place altogether - at least for now.

As someone as admittedly rusty and new to this "meeting strangers off the internet" malarkey as you are, you've picked the deepest part of the deep end to jump into, and this one's got pirhannas in it.

I reckon you should cut your teeth on a few regular dating sites first, because I guarantee you will find things far far easier on sites like that than you will here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Tobleton...

But if you want to persevere on here, I would suggest putting at least 1 pic up on your profile (doesn't have to be face - a tasteful body shot is fine), and setting it as your avatar.

Also.... you've been on here a year, but your profile still says you've 'just' come out of a relationship? Probably just needs a tweak to make it clear you weren't here and cheating before your relationship eneded (e.g. "I'm not ready for another serious relationship at the moment...")

Other than that, your profile looks fine to me.

As Tobleton says, get yourself known, by posting in the Forums and maybe trying the chat rooms. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments - especially the bit about pirahnas! You were spot on, I'm not ready for another relationship but would quite like some sex! Am I being a bit naive thinking this is the place to look? Regular dating sights seem to me to be for people who want a relationship, but if this is too far the other way maybe I am in the wrong place.

I think I will tweak my profile a bit, really don't want people to think I'm the cheating type, and a body shot sounds a good idea too.

I've had one reply from someone who seems like their after the same as me so I'll see how it goes.

Thanks again, both of you.

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By *o Peep n WoodyCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

most couples / fems will skip your profile just by the fact that doesnt have a picture that gives at least a idea of what you look like.

remember , ladies must get 20-50 messages a day so they can tick out the 45 nonphoto/"ugly"/cockpics_only ones and look for a personality within the 5 decent looking ones in their eyes.

at least on the profile itself seems like you know what you like and want.

I dont personally have nothing agaisnt your profile, just trying to give tips

woody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention that I have been sending a face pic with messages, but i will get a body shot on the profile too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read your profile because of this thread, but if you'd sent me a message, or I looked because you'd posted on the forums and I didn't know who you were I wouldn't have read past the first sentence.

Personally, profiles that start "just out of a relationship" doesn't bode well for me. I always get the impression that the person has got a lot of emotional baggage still in place and wants to take out their frustration on the first woman they meet...not a pleasant thought.

We are all here for fun, and looking for people in the right frame of mind for that.

Also, I NEVER meet anyone that can't accommodate - I don't care what the reason is. The way I look at it if I'm single and can, there's no reason why another single person can't.

That said, there's someone for everyone here, just don't expect women to be throwing themselves at you...there are hundreds of fun, happy men around these parts to chose from - so why go for one that seems like "trouble".

Good luck though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the comments they're really helpful.

No baggage here, the relationship ended very amicably, we both knew it was coming and I haven't got any frustration to take out on anyone! I take your point though, I can see your point and guess most people would think the same as you.

I can accomodate too, I was sure I ticked that box! Anyway, fixed it now so thanks for letting me know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read your profile and I actually like the sound of you, very nice I think. Good point that Sassy made but i wouldnt have thought of it. I guess its because Im part of a couple and im very secure and safe within that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I read your profile and I actually like the sound of you, very nice I think. Good point that Sassy made but i wouldnt have thought of it. I guess its because Im part of a couple and im very secure and safe within that

I thought that this morning but didnt have time to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well there you go young man, me and grey kitten at the same time, do you think you can handle us

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

lol, probably not but what a way to go!

Seriously though, thanks for the comments - really encouraging and I feel really welcomed by everyone who's helped. Nobody had to reply so I do appreciate it.

There was loads of stuff I never thought to put, or didn't realise how it could sound. Feel free to keep the tips coming, but I think I'm happy with it now. Hopefully get chatting to some of you in the forums

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By *egasmasterMan
over a year ago

exeter

And thanks for asking the question Danlon. I see people with lots of feedback from single guys and wondered how they get past the 'Hi' stage. I've taken some of the advice here to so I hope it works!

What do people think of winks?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

i like your profile,i assume it is in updated form now.If we were looking to meet straight men you would certainly get a reply from us.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"And thanks for asking the question Danlon. I see people with lots of feedback from single guys and wondered how they get past the 'Hi' stage. I've taken some of the advice here to so I hope it works!

What do people think of winks? "

i ignore them,if u cant be bothered to type a message,i cant be bothered to check my winks.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

You've been here for over a year? New and just out of a relationship? What advice are you asking for? Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do people think of winks? "

I don't mind them but I'd never message someone after they winked me - if I like then I'll wink back and it's up to them to take the next step.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the questions - quite hard to answer as they're a bit personal, but I think they were worth answering for my own sake.

I signed up over a year ago out of curiosity and never done anything about it until now. It wasn't something we wanted to do as a couple, but now we've split it's something I want to try.

I just wanted some general advice as I hadn't been getting many replies and I wondered if that was normal or not.

People have been really helpful, and I think my profile says what I want now. I'd rather not meet anyone than meet the wrong person, so I'm going to start joining in the forums and see how it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read your profile and it seems fine to me, I would contact you if I was looking in your area.

The only other thing I would add is:-

I will never reply to one line messages and a lot of people feel the same so make an effort with your initial contact.

Good luck

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