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Still feel like a newbie

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have been swinging on and off 3 years now. Due to self confidence issues i sometimes find that i am seen as a newbie in clubs. I think i have this stay away vibe. I do not know why as i have so many fantasies still to try and things to try twice. I think my own self confidence in my size holds me back. Any advice i would be greatful thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look great

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks. Its more advice i need but thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it's hard to give advice when you state it's your own self confidence that's a problem, so I just though I'd pay you a compliment instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it's hard to give advice when you state it's your own self confidence that's a problem, so I just though I'd pay you a compliment instead "

Thought*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok well thank you. It was more to over come this in clubs and relax x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok well thank you. It was more to over come this in clubs and relax x"

Maybe a large Brandy or two would help

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The very fact that you're swinging and happy to go to adult clubs shows a huge amount of self confidence. Start there....

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By *ndykinkyMan
over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT


"Ok well thank you. It was more to over come this in clubs and relax x"

Sit at the bar and chat to the friendly barman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok well thank you. It was more to over come this in clubs and relax x"

Maybe arrange to meet someone in a club or go along with someone you already know. This might be a start until you build up confidence to go alone, if the is what you want.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks guys. It does show confidence. Im not ugly but feel i give off the stay away dont talk to me vibe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I get what you're saying. Maybe the way to overcome it is to talk to people first and show that you'e not unfriendly. Grab a glass of wine, take a deep breath and say hello to the person next to you. Just general chit chat to break the ice.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The very fact that you're swinging and happy to go to adult clubs shows a huge amount of self confidence. Start there...."

I like it mate, good point

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks Loncav. I think maybe one drink wont hurt x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just had a glance at your veris - dont think you need to worry about a thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you. Its not a worry more. I always look nice etc x

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Try to smile and relax. Have some conversation starters ready......been here before? , love your outfit, hot in here. Any old drivel so that you start chatting. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

I tend to sit by the bar and chat to bar staff, they are usually really friendly and can help introduce you to people.

Have fun x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you _izzy. I think its cause i dont drink ha ha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly how you feel ... which is why I was thinking of organising a social gathering .. but actually had no women interested .. I think that would help. confidence comes from within though and no matter how many people pay u compliments if you don't feel it it doesn't count. but stay positive

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank u. I most have some confidence. Just not the type that means i will go up and chat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank u. I most have some confidence. Just not the type that means i will go up and chat x"

Just remember you got nothing to lose and maybe something good to gain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smile and chat, I was terrified the first time I went to a club without my trusty wingman and mainly sat at the bar chatting to the staff, but they looked after me brilliantly and all was good. You say you like the social side, as do I. Clubs are great for a social natter (once you get your head round the weirdness of chatting to perfect strangers in your scanties). My advice for what it's worth is to take it at your own pace and don't get hammered!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok well thank you. It was more to over come this in clubs and relax x

Maybe arrange to meet someone in a club or go along with someone you already know. This might be a start until you build up confidence to go alone, if the is what you want."

I agree with this gentleman. Find someone you know to go along with.. This is how I started going to clubs... I have confidence issues with my body... but he made me feel sexy and I loved what he did to me. If you trust a fb and let him take the lead a couple of times. . You may a little more easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking at your pics you have no reason to be self conscious or low in confidence you look a stunner,secondly which clubs are you attending and on which nights. We often attend chams on a Saturday night and have always found it to be relaxed and friendly and everyone seems to mingle and chat. Try different areas of the club always find the jacuzzi areas are good to make introductions and also the smoking area even if you don't smoke this area always seems to be where most conversations start. If ever your going to chams let us know would love to sit and chat and share a soft drink with you all the best op

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some lovley comments im getting there id say x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, the trouble is with the Attic is it's very big place and everyone's is everywhere, I like the Attic but I do find its to big to chat and socialize. I go to the Atlantis club on a Friday nights it's smaller and very relaxing and easy to socialize with other couples and singles, downstairs is a bar, ( take your own alcohol ) a dance floor with pole and you can sit at the bar and also Sofas to relax on and chat, upstairs is where all the fun is later. It is a very friendly club and the hosts are great Cat & Tag and everyone will make you welcome. Hope this was some help, also I love your photos.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well thank you. Going to try the attic as a new place sat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think positive and attractive. Yes its an act and its hard but... we all have too. Head up, think sexy thoughts and tell yourself your gorgeous and confident!

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

OP I am also a larger lady and used to visit clubs quite a lot. The main thing I learnt was don't wait to be approached. Go say hi to the person you like. be the person to start the conversation. If there is a pool table invite them to a game. Basically don't just sit there and wait to be approached.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some great advice thank you x

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