FabSwingers.com forum: Unread messages

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

Hi all would just be grateful on some opinions on this. I totally get that if you send 1 maybe 2 messages they get read and no reply its time to move on.

Saying that I've got couple of lady's who have accepted my friend request read message but still don't reply dam it lol.

But what about unread messages you can't make a lot out on the tiny profile pic you get with them, plus if they haven't looked at your profile. I kinda fell in love with this lady's boobs and yes this sounds a bit much lol but ended up sending her 12 messages till she read one. She said she gets like 150 messages a day, talked a lot and now got her number.

But I've got few others with 2/3 unread messages. Where should you draw the line . Is it realistic to think you just gotta hope that one day say 2/3 weeks down the line she gets so bored and goes through and reads them all . Or its not too bad to keep messaging till she has at least read one, if no reply ,well then you know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete messages in your sent box

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

Can I just add that 12 messages was a one off . They were special boobs mind lol . So deleting them takes them out of their inbox then. I weren't sure if that just deleted them my side. That's good to know if that's the case

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't delete them but it does stop you obsessing over something you have no control or power over

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds more than a bit too much tbh. Bordering on obsession and stalker characteristics tbh !!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone sends me a second message when I've either not opened or not replied to the first, I block them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dude...step back a minute and think 'am i doing to much would this piss/disturb me if it was me'?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

For someone sends me another message before I've read the first one they get blocked it's completely desperate!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send one message (that's one, just the one, only need to send one single message!) then delete your sent mail so you don't know what the recipient has done with it. If you have a life, go on living it. You'll either get a reply at some point or you won't. Don't get stressed or wound up by something that is out of your control, life really is too short and this is just a bit of fun. One thing that used to piss me off was several messages from the same person, really not necessary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

Ok thanks kinda feel little bad now . New to this so live and learn

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guessing the OP is speculating that a message may be "unread" as it has fallen off the end of visible messages (100 max) before it has even been seen by the recipient. This definitely can happen with the number of messages some ladies get....especially when they are newish to the site.

I had a lovely lady from Gloucester stay over at mine a couple of times last summer. She had been on the site about three weeks. We looked at her inbox at about 10.30 one night and seeing the "quality" (lol) of many of the messages she decided to delete all. Logged off and we went to bed. Over breakfast (I do make good breakfast!) she opened her mailbox again....over 250 messages. That meant she couldn't even see 150+ never mind reply to them...so it can happen I suppose.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Sent them one message if they haven't responded, block them and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone sends me a second message when I've either not opened or not replied to the first, I block them"

What if they make a typo in the first message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Don't obsess over the state of your sent items. Don't try to think of reasons why someone hasn't replied to you ("oh, she must have bulk deleted" or "oh, it must have fallen off the bottom of her inbox", or "oh, she's just waiting for me to get a verification") If someone replies, treat it as a bonus. If someone doesn't reply, assume it means that they aren't interested in you. DON'T send repeat messages!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can make out that most of mine are shit without even opening them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"i can make out that most of mine are shit without even opening them."

Lol

are we talking words/messages or the man himself here. You can't tell a lot from them tiny profile pics , I personally would never just come out with sex talk until I've exchanged a few. I show respect,everyone is different but I'm guessing a good 90% of ladies on here do want a bit of small talk first. Maybe I'm wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i can make out that most of mine are shit without even opening them.

Lol

bit of respect would be nice tbh.

and yeah we wanna feel like more than a hole, well not all of us but those of us who aren't answering crap messages do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"i can make out that most of mine are shit without even opening them.

Lol

bit of respect would be nice tbh.

and yeah we wanna feel like more than a hole, well not all of us but those of us who aren't answering crap messages do."

You can only read first 2 sentences though. I think I probably speck for most men, may be wrong. But after you get no response from a few its not like your gonna send long messages out at least first off, I guess you could copy and past but that's just a bit lame

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i can make out that most of mine are shit without even opening them.

Lol

bit of respect would be nice tbh.

and yeah we wanna feel like more than a hole, well not all of us but those of us who aren't answering crap messages do.

most men do not fill up those 2 sentences even. one sentence usually though so not too bad and the quality of some messages is good.

no i don't expect a massive long message either, just hi can do if their profile says a little about them instead. and that's where a lot of guys fail.

i'm gonna get some sleep anyway, my bad mood is going. night.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Don't stress about unread messages. Send and forget, like a missile.

Concentrate your energy on those who do reply.

A no reply means 'no thank you'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *AA123Couple
over a year ago

Lichfield

Sending too many runs the risk of a block.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sent 12 messages ffs? Sounds like you are a stalker. Any more than 2 and your on block. 12 and you need help at respecting others boundaries.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One message.

If it stays unread, they might read when they have more time or it may just stay that way.

Read, but no reply, but not deleted. It may mean they might return to it at a later date or it might just be in the queue for a bulk delete.

Read and deleted. Not interested.

Unless you get a reply, take any of the above as not interested, move on and forget about them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She actually gave you her number??

She must be as crazy as you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

You will find that a majority of people will read a profile before opening a message, that way they already know if they are interested or not. You also may not know they have viewed the profile because they do it in stealth mode.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"You sent 12 messages ffs? Sounds like you are a stalker. Any more than 2 and your on block. 12 and you need help at respecting others boundaries."

Hi like I said before that was one off. She was totally fine.She just said she got like 150+ and hadn't noticed mine . After that we chatted a fair bit and we exchanged phone numbers. Don't make me sound so bad lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"She actually gave you her number??

She must be as crazy as you!

Lol . Thanks I'm not totally crazy

my thinking was maybe she gets untold messages and I was just trying to get noticed. If I got blocked so be it. Life goes on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to make the title of your message stand out, mine are usually shit and boring hence why I'm still a non veri 9 months down the line lol.

Thinking of a completely different approach. So I'm going to try titles like:

WINNER,

NEW I PHONE,

FREE £20 PADDY POWER BET,

I NEED YOUR SORT CODE & BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS,

I wonder if they are more likely to get read over the "Hi Jayne" titles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"You have to make the title of your message stand out, mine are usually shit and boring hence why I'm still a non veri 9 months down the line lol.

Thinking of a completely different approach. So I'm going to try titles like:

WINNER,

NEW I PHONE,

FREE £20 PADDY POWER BET,

I NEED YOUR SORT CODE & BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS,

I wonder if they are more likely to get read over the "Hi Jayne" titles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *MaleMan
over a year ago

"Hi all would just be grateful on some opinions on this. I totally get that if you send 1 maybe 2 messages they get read and no reply its time to move on.

Saying that I've got couple of lady's who have accepted my friend request read message but still don't reply dam it lol.

Sometimes cpls/fems dont see your messages as they moving to the bottom of the inbox below the mass of messages landing. Sometimes they're being ignored.

If talking to someone and suddenly they stop opening your mail & replying whilst being logged on then work it out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

Just curious ladies if you was friends with someone exchanged 4/5 messages , on my side it seemed to be moving forward . Liked my pics .She was glad hers had an affect on me. Then couple more after along same lines, last messaging ending with a x like the others. Then read one and didn't reply. I sent one more which is unread to her last Friday. If you didn't wanna talk to them no more wouldn't you just remove them from friends at least ? I only search within 20 miles, she would be my jackpot. Just gonna step back from her and hope. Why do you lady's have to make all this such hard work lol. Only kidding

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Why do you lady's have to make all this such hard work lol. Only kidding

Because we're unpredictable and we can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority of us 'ladies' don't make it hard work if the majority of people that message me had read my profile first they would have realised that it was pointless e mailing me ....

Especially as they didn't have read all my profile to know this the first sentence should have been enough!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter how good the boobs were 12 messages is excessive send one and move on if they like your profile they'll respond mines shit but luckily I don't have to rely on this profile/site alone but good luck op going forward

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"The majority of us 'ladies' don't make it hard work if the majority of people that message me had read my profile first they would have realised that it was pointless e mailing me ....

Especially as they didn't have read all my profile to know this the first sentence should have been enough!"

I read all profiles before I send messages sometimes 2/3 times.must admit the odd couple of times I have just tried my luck knowing I go against what they say in some way.if a man likes the look of someone you can't blame him for trying.Not saying I'd be so lucky but sure wish I was local to you lol.Your a dream girl. Yum x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"The majority of us 'ladies' don't make it hard work if the majority of people that message me had read my profile first they would have realised that it was pointless e mailing me ....

Especially as they didn't have read all my profile to know this the first sentence should have been enough!

You don't perhaps think that you are "getting blamed" for messaging the people whose requirements you don't match by just "trying your luck" since so many of your messages go ignored?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"The majority of us 'ladies' don't make it hard work if the majority of people that message me had read my profile first they would have realised that it was pointless e mailing me ....

Especially as they didn't have read all my profile to know this the first sentence should have been enough!

You don't perhaps think that you are "getting blamed" for messaging the people whose requirements you don't match by just "trying your luck" since so many of your messages go ignored? "

I never said so many get ignored, been on here 16 days messaged about 30/35 ish and had reply form about 12 I don't class 1 in 3 too bad, I've had more response on here than any dating site I've ever been on that is for sure

and only messaged about 4/5 knowing I went against there profile, I'm polite in what I say, my whole point was its just frustrating when they go unread and profile not viewed,1 or the other is easier to take

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just not worry about it. If they've got lots of messages to read - they may get to yours. They may bulk delete.

Just concentrate on those that did reply or hang around in here and you'll get noticed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The majority of us 'ladies' don't make it hard work if the majority of people that message me had read my profile first they would have realised that it was pointless e mailing me ....

Especially as they didn't have read all my profile to know this the first sentence should have been enough!

You don't perhaps think that you are "getting blamed" for messaging the people whose requirements you don't match by just "trying your luck" since so many of your messages go ignored?

When I see the messages in my inbox and see that they are miles away (provided that they have a real place listed) I may just delete unread or I may read it and then delete. As you said you're trying your luck knowing that you don't match do you realise that how annoying / frustrating it is to receive these messages I do not have time and why should I have to reply to all of these type of messages when they clearly don't match the most important requirement? I have in the past replied and have either received abuse or they assume because I've replied even to say thanks but no thanks that I want to continue chatting to them?!

So why don't you look at it from the other side and think would you want loads of e mails from people that can't be bothered to read your profile or ignore your preferences this is one of the reasons why single men get a bad rep in here or are blocked so much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

12 messages to one person because she didn't reply to you.

That's stalkerish and not normal behaviour.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Dont stress OP .... ive currently got 150 messages .... I cannot answer them all ..... I have a full time job ....

I could do with my own PA ..

If a lady doesn't answer .... or deletes your message ...

Wait a few days and say hello again with an interesting polite message .... good luck hunni

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I'm guessing the OP is speculating that a message may be "unread" as it has fallen off the end of visible messages (100 max) before it has even been seen by the recipient. This definitely can happen with the number of messages some ladies get....especially when they are newish to the site.

It's about time the site owners separated mail into friends and non friends...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the message is rude or just plain rubbish we delete. However, if the messenger had something interesting to say then we'd reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"It's about time the site owners separated mail into friends and non friends..."

Then we would just get EVEN MORE unsolicited friends requests, to ignore!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llgoodfun123123 OP Man
over a year ago

st osyth

"If the message is rude or just plain rubbish we delete. However, if the messenger had something interesting to say then we'd reply.

So what if the message goes unread and you haven't even looked at there profile. That was my whole point lol .so just going by the first line and a bit you can see without going into it the actual message you can tell its shit, oh ok

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the message is rude or just plain rubbish we delete. However, if the messenger had something interesting to say then we'd reply.

yes,you can indeed tell by the first line a lot of the time...and as for whether they have viewed your profile, well...you have no way of knowing that anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Read a profile.

2. Decide if there's something on it that you like.

3. Send a message relating to that profile.

Repeat 1-3 as often as you wish.

Sending cut and paste messages will get you nowhere regardless of how clever you think they are they get spotted a mile off. If someone doesn't read it guess what...... It happens to us all. Don't sweat something you can't help and didn't take it personally. It's not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If the message is rude or just plain rubbish we delete. However, if the messenger had something interesting to say then we'd reply.

doesn't matter what's on your profile if the first few words of your message put people off, i don't bother reading thw whole message, never mind click their page to have a look at anything else - if they put me off with a few words.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"If the message is rude or just plain rubbish we delete. However, if the messenger had something interesting to say then we'd reply.

When al the message says is just one letter "X" then yes it's shit and you don't need to open it to read it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. Read a profile.

2. Decide if there's something on it that you like.

3. Send a message relating to that profile.

Repeat 1-3 as often as you wish.

You missed one(not aimed at you)

1 a) read the profile again to ascertain whether or not you match what that person is actually looking for.

Don't "chance it" on the off chance that they may be having a charity day for the hard of reading...then get huffy because they delete your carefully crafted pile of irrelevance...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all would just be grateful on some opinions on this. I totally get that if you send 1 maybe 2 messages they get read and no reply its time to move on.

Saying that I've got couple of lady's who have accepted my friend request read message but still don't reply dam it lol.

I've just had to delete all my unread messages there were just too many. been answering all day and just more and more and more.

As others have said most of them are pure rubbish but it's a shame I've had to delete what I know will be a lot of nice ones from nice people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will send one then move on. Whats the point of keep sending the same person a message if they cant be arsed to read your first one.

move on buddy. At least you got one number

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Hi all would just be grateful on some opinions on this. I totally get that if you send 1 maybe 2 messages they get read and no reply its time to move on.

Saying that I've got couple of lady's who have accepted my friend request read message but still don't reply dam it lol.

This is one of the funniest things I've read for ages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't stress about unread messages. Send and forget, like a missile.

Concentrate your energy on those who do reply.

A no reply means 'no thank you' "

Well said and is a great guideline to remember

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread