FabSwingers.com forum: Feeling The Grind - Single Male Of A Couple... Chuck Me A Life Jacket!!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, I finally have amazing, wonderful and incredible news in my own life with my beautiful wife, and our gruesome twosome is becoming a terrible threesome... So to speak. And that’s soon coming up! Come June, I shall no longer enjoy the likes of sleep, xbox time or even a private life!

And that is totally A OK

I couldn't wish for more and am over the moon!

The problem it has however is on our swinging lifestyle. But not in the way you may think it would.

See, the wife would of course be out of action for this. OF COURSE. I made it clear to her that it was her choice what she did and what her cut off period was like, and she accepted and just sat back and relaxed. But she was adamant (Adam Ant?) that it not affect us in big ways. In short, it meant that she got to look at pics, chat, message, flirst, set up new meets and get new friends… Do everything bar play. And I got to do everything, just not involving her in play.

Great terms. I have the most incredible wife, even booking me up hotels so she could go with me to places and stay back watching Eastenders, while I went out to play with people. I couldn’t ask for more!

Or could I...

See, I'm finally seeing things from the other side of the coin. I'm finally seeing the swinging world as the dreaded "single male". I've got profiles set up for m (g_telford), for her (c_telford) and for us together (telfordCouple86). All of which are ran by both of us, although mostly her, because that’s just the way we like to do things (this post was written by me of course, one of the rare few times I've been let off the hook!). So we each have our own profiles, for our own meets. We each have our own verifications, and we each have in our profiles, clear as day, what we are looking for.

But as I said... The single male strikes again. Because now, the wife is out of action, and I am, by all accounts, a "single male". And I'm drowning in a sea of other single males... So now I have this card that allows me to do whatever I want, when I want, and guess what…? It’s only been stamped once. Yeah, the curse of the single male! In fact, I’ve had one couple show interest, and we played recently. Nothing else. Nobody else has really shown that much interest, nobody met me, nothing. I’m the FAB equivalent of a Ford KA parked on the Porsche sale lot. Why the HELL would anybody want me, when there are men on here with ripped toned bodies and look like they stepped right out of Kays catalogue!

I’m finally seeing that the only reason people even bother to contact us, is the wife. And it’s a hard pill to swallow… So to speak. What’s even worse is that we still get about 60-70 messages a day from single men, clearly having not read our couples profile, asking to meet the wife alone and I won’t lie, I think the majority of them need to go back to school, because bugger me the typing is so appalling I can’t even make it out sometimes… But the one things clear. “You’re wife’s hot, I want to smash her/bang her/do her/mop her/clean her/wax her/fondle her/brush her/tickle her etc… Oh and you can go as well if you must.” Seems to be a running theme. “Oh, you’re wife isn’t able to go? Let us know when she’s playing again.” “Oh you’re wife isn’t playing? Yeah, erm,. Message us when she is.” Clearly, I’m seeing a pattern here.

So… Hello fellow single males! Welcome me to the posse of never ending blokes! How do you survive in here! Chuck me a life jacket, because my god is it full of you all, and I’m drowning in a sea of average! Girls and couples, if there is anybody NOT after a Jason Statham lookalike and doesn’t mind a bit of the old average, my pics are always available. I’m not ugly by any stretch, I just can’t rip a phone book in half… Although to be fair, I may be able to, I just haven’t seen one in years… Maybe a Thompsons local? Where was I… Oh yeah… Get in touch! Maybe! Or just wait until Mrs Telford is playing and act like you care about me, which is lovely, and at least makes me feel nice for 11 minutes. How DO you do it single blokes?! It’s hard as nails!

(Just FYI, Mrs Telford will be back to her normal broadcast day very soon, but certain things will take priority of course! We are hoping to be back about late summer, certainly for later in the year!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grab a seat, there's plenty of us here to keep you company

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By *rinkydonkyMan
over a year ago

Hinckley

Welcome to life's scrapyard lmho..... clubs and parties are the only way forward too many fakes on here mess it up for the genuine amongst us.... all the best in your search.... ps when is the misses back in action lol !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's about attitude.

My two male partners have no issue in meeting as regularly as they would like on their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's about attitude.

My two male partners have no issue in meeting as regularly as they would like on their own."

I suspect we're talking Porsches rather than Kas though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody hell mate got bored halfway through reading and skipped to the bottom

Sorry no advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel your pain. When I found myself single last year it was interesting to see how some (and i stress some, far from all) swinging 'friends' reacted. It was interesting to see just how many dropped me, some even bad mouthed me to win favour with the newly available single bi female!

That's n9tuch use to you on a practical level is it? Congratulations btw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a good laugh at post !

As I still have a single profile I would say I feel your pain ?

But long since resigned to the fact that the only fun to be had is with my partner so just use single to chat to friends ?? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is why I think that without the woman a couples profile wont see much action as she grabs the attention.

My tip is that have patience and don't rely on one site, use few

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure I can give you any advice because I often wonder how and why myself.

Some girls will,

Some girls won't,

Some girls need a lot of lovin

And some girls don't!

I can only say be yourself, you already know what doesn't work from being part of that couple. Just think about who grabbed you and your wives attention and add a bit yourself. Maybe that will work for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just looked at your profile OP and to be honest why the hell would you be complaining !!!!

Looking at your pictures your Mrs is super sexy hot just be thankful for what you have got dude.I can see why you get all the attention from single guys.

Sod looking to play with others even with the Mrs blessings, look after her, spoil her rotten, and then things will get better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is the same advice as is given to all single men.....don't rely on Fab. Go to clubs, parties, socials and events. Although your Mrs may not approve.

I started a thread last year on separated couples you can see the responses.

Good luck.

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/471780

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By *5happycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tooting / dept 23 France

my suggestion would be to go to clubs and parties if you want some action, or else to chat in chatrooms for friendship and flirting. My hubby always complains that when he is on cam he might get a few viewers, but as soon as I appear, the cam goes pink. The reality of the game is that there are less women available and many more men, being polite, friendly, funny and respectful will always get me to chat above the sad one liners. But I would also agree that your life in many ways is about to change, your sex life just being one aspect of it. It won't hurt you to back off a little bit but always easier said than done.

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By *ay and DeborahCouple
over a year ago

Co. Down

What a pity you're on the mainland...would love to meet and your mrs....I dont think you'll have to much bother. Your couple profile is great.

Debs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could have a sabbatical and use the time to hit the gym and give yourself one of those buff bods that the successful men on here have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What cannot be cured must be endured as the old saying goes. Good luck OP.

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By *eorge17Man
over a year ago

Leven

"I'm not sure I can give you any advice because I often wonder how and why myself.

Some girls will,

Some girls won't,

Some girls need a lot of lovin

And some girls don't!

That's a bit racey

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

Your singles profile is mostly about telling people to check your couples profile . Why don't you stick your couples profile into hibernation and concentrate on selling yourself . You immediately stop the attraction to just you when you divert people . Even the status on your couples profile leads people to belive you are both still meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's been said before...

Go to a party or club. Single males are a dime a dozen here. And far too many of us are apparent douchebags, with an over-developed sense of entitlement. Sadly, those who came before us have soured the perception of single guys with their unfortunate behavior.

Ladies do rule the roost. Never forget that we(men) only get to play along at their discretion.

Some of us singie guys do read, think, behave respectfully and type in complete sentences. Welcome to the morass that is "getting noticed on Fab".

I use Fab to keep in touch AFTER we meet and make a connection at a social event. I find it's hard to make a connection based on a few pics and 140 words or less in your profile.

I do much better in person than online, and I'm not the first to say that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your singles profile is mostly about telling people to check your couples profile . Why don't you stick your couples profile into hibernation and concentrate on selling yourself . You immediately stop the attraction to just you when you divert people . Even the status on your couples profile leads people to belive you are both still meeting "

We did think of that, but then the couples profile has all the pics, all the verifications, and all the info. Plus it has all the friends, and its what everybody knows us by

If you look at the top of our profile it does mention only G is playing. However I do agree the status G put on this morning was a bit confusing so I will edit it now

C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure I can give you any advice because I often wonder how and why myself.

Some girls will,

Some girls won't,

Some girls need a lot of lovin

And some girls don't!

That's a bit racey

You can't beat getting racey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's about attitude.

My two male partners have no issue in meeting as regularly as they would like on their own.

I suspect we're talking Porsches rather than Kas though?"

I don't compare my partners to objects, however niether are the kind of man that would classically be considered a head turner. In fact I'd say they're both actually pretty average - they just have great personalities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just looked at your profile OP and to be honest why the hell would you be complaining !!!!

Looking at your pictures your Mrs is super sexy hot just be thankful for what you have got dude.I can see why you get all the attention from single guys.

Sod looking to play with others even with the Mrs blessings, look after her, spoil her rotten, and then things will get better.

One would assume that the primary reason to be on a swingers website is because you enjoy having sex with more than one person and are looking to do so. Suggesting monogamy sounds rather counterproductive to those aims.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FWIW we put a picture of my male partner as our avatar on my couples profile - penis showing and everything. It immediately got rid of about 90% of the messages from people only looking for women. You might want to try it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as I said on Mrs OP,

a married single male becomes a single male regardless of consent

Its pretty easy being the male half of a couple, when you have most of the time never have been a single male on a swinging scene website.

Even previous friends may not have that interest they had when in past correspondence or meetups..theres something lacking and it begins with the word:-

not really any other way to dress it up is there...

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"I think it's about attitude.

My two male partners have no issue in meeting as regularly as they would like on their own."
I imagine it's a lot easier to get meets on here for gay men than straight men though. Its not easy to show personality online either so not really relevant to the ops post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's about attitude.

My two male partners have no issue in meeting as regularly as they would like on their own. I imagine it's a lot easier to get meets on here for gay men than straight men though. Its not easy to show personality online either so not really relevant to the ops post."

One of my partners is bisexual and primarily meets women, the other is a straight man.

As I said, they have no problem meeting as regularly as they would like on their own. And I mean women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pecking order is thus, in football terms

Verified FF couple - World Cup winners

verified Unicorns - champions league winners

Unicorns - mostly single men, but play in the champions league

Verified Females - top 4 in premier league

Females - mid devsion in premier

varified Couples - Mid division pushing for a top 4 spot

Couples - mid table premier

Elite verified Single men - championship

Verified single men - league division 2

Single men - league division 3

New single men - Johnstone paint non league division 4

Single men (married) - local pub team

Single/married Asian men - watching the pub team play from the window of your house

Chubby single guys - playing Fifa 2008 on Amstrad at home alone

TV/TS/bi guys - play rugby and get as many try's as they want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just looked at your profile OP and to be honest why the hell would you be complaining !!!!

Looking at your pictures your Mrs is super sexy hot just be thankful for what you have got dude.I can see why you get all the attention from single guys.

Sod looking to play with others even with the Mrs blessings, look after her, spoil her rotten, and then things will get better.

But then that would miss the opportunity to get a bit of white knighting in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations OP, its a wonderful magical time. With regards to your profile it realise that all your veris and 'stuff' is on the couples profile but in the words of a film you'll become very familiar with soon 'let it go,'! Youd be best to run your singles profile as a stand alone profile, go and meet people, get your own veris and pictures.

Yes its harder when you dont have a lovely milkshake to bring all the boys to the yard, but you can get there in sure. Good luck fella, welcome to the family

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"I think it's about attitude.

We actually find it pretty easy to tell from a profile and messages if they are people/someone we would get along with.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Firstly congratulations on your exciting news

I would say that if you are only looking for yourself atm but using your couples profile have some more pics of you on there. As stunning as she is most people (I mean men I guess) aren't going to read your profile they are going to go straight to your gallery and will message you anyway. Or block single guys for now??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Personality plays a huge part in what we both look for. If the person is dull, idiotic and a total moron then of course we are less likely to meet that person. We've had a fair few messages from couples and singles that have been that badly written or uni retesting that we just had to say "no thank you". Sometimes we can't even manBe to reply to them, because it's clear the person has took no time at all to learn about us. Case in point we had a man mail us three times today. The message was the same each time, but the name changed in two. Lazy copy pasting!

But let's be honest here...

If Jennifer Anniston starts messaging us with pictures of herself in her bikini, but with the typing of a dyslexic 15 year old heroine addict called Gerald... Would we really turn her down?

Of course not. Likewise, if William Shakespears daughter messaged us with the finest queens English but had a face like a broken George Foreman grill, we would lie my still give a polite no thank you.

So while it's ok to be polite and astute, it's also very, very important that you look damn good.

So when you look like muggins here, a bloke clearly topping out at about 3 out of 10, who is sexually adventurous and dare I say it damn good at what he does, with a decent enough cock... You suddenly realise it's for nothing, because most people will instantly look at topics, not see Brad Pitts body in Fight Club, and click away.

And let's be honest... As shit as it is... Who can blame them. Unless you're just after quick lays, you may actually want to have meaningful sex.

I can't say I blame people to be honest for passing me by. I've been guilty of the same, so has Mrs Telford, so have we all I imagine at some point...

But just once I wouldn't mind Jennifer Anniston messaging me saying she fancied a bit of rough... Or even Courtney Cox..

God, even Gunthar would do right about now!

Gav

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Firstly congratulations on your exciting news

Would you put pictures of the messy glove box on auto trader when trying to sell your sports car?

More of me is something I am trying however. It's a shame we can't order pics. There's quite a few of me there, it's just they are all muddled up!

Also we don't block single men because if the few years we have been here, we have made lots of great friends, and wouldn't want to lose contact.

Gav

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

excelently entertaining post, and to answer your question it is easy to rip a modern phonebook in two, simply open the book and tare down the spine.

enjoy it when enjoy tge hunt so to speack and try not to get so obsessed with it. x

oh and happy swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you've inadvertently answered your own question. You have undoubted literary strengths, some men have bodies with a high pulling power but abysmal pros.

Why not offer a profile polishing service. Their bod, your story and payment is 50% of the meets.

What could possibly go wrong?

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By *aggersMan
over a year ago

portsmouth

Welcome to the cock fest op !!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Welcome to the cock fest op !!

Er the op was 50 weeks ago.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Just looked at your profile OP and to be honest why the hell would you be complaining !!!!

Looking at your pictures your Mrs is super sexy hot just be thankful for what you have got dude.I can see why you get all the attention from single guys.

Sod looking to play with others even with the Mrs blessings, look after her, spoil her rotten, and then things will get better.

So because he is free to play & has a gorgeous lady at home you assume something is not right? Or am I reading this wrong?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Is this thread even still relevant? Was posted 50 weeks ago and don't think the OP has been back since (probably enjoying the sleepless nights and being back to playing as part of the couples profile!!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very interesting thread as we're both now looking to try separate meets as well as joint ones. I'm assuming it's not just a case of "join the queue" but rather "get in the cheaters and lepers queue wayyy back over there". But, having zero expectations, it'll at least be an amusing excursion into Fab's deepest and darkest dustbin or... who knows... I may be pleasantly surprised. You can but live in hope

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

[Removed by poster at 21/03/17 17:21:03]

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Shame. She had the best tits on here.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Maybe ask for advice on the male profile?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"Maybe ask for advice on the male profile?"

Check the date it was posted. Its a dead post that jesus made rise again.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Maybe ask for advice on the male profile?

Check the date it was posted. Its a dead post that jesus made rise again."

good call.....

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By *ischief ManagedCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Hello Op and single males, i have recently joined your club with my own profile mister-mischief.Its been live 72 hours. I had to post on here becuase of the 7 days till you can forum post.I am used to over a hundred a day easy, views on our couples profile so my horror when i see i have 8. So from myself (mr) to the succesfull gents on here a big pat on the back and a pint for you

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By *h1tewolfMan
over a year ago

Rubery

I'd say to try OUTSIDE of Fab. If you're sane, healthy and financially sounds, you're already in top 20% and have great chances of scoring.

People on Fab have tunnel vision and there's nothing to do about it. Chin up, be confident, but you seem like a cool guy already.

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By *iggles and BeardyCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Wiggles has always told me to go ahead and find a fb or meet other women as long as I tell her. Other women simply never believe me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decent single guys do shine through...keep at it!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Wiggles has always told me to go ahead and find a fb or meet other women as long as I tell her. Other women simply never believe me though. "

That can be a problem and understably so, however there are ways to mitigate it. I'm part of a couples profile, and my partner has her own solo profile too - we make it transparently clear across all of them that we're connected and here with our solo profiles with each others knowledge - anyone that has any doubts can easily cross-reference between all three profiles and if necessary check that it's all above board with a simple message.

That approach hasn't caused any issues and in fact I've been told by others how reassuring it is that it's totally transparent.

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